Couger is not asking for tons of cash, but if you've ever had to pay for a funeral, you know they're freakin' expensive.

Link:https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11057569/

In brief, it was lovely!

I worked the convention store (I'm one of the co-leads), which is something I love to do because I can see everyone and not have to run around trying to find folks. It didn't feel as if as many attended this year, but with the fires elsewhere that's understandable.

The writer's panel was (astonishingly) well attended -- I'll have to do it again next year. There were several Greymuzzle panels; always love doing it with   Joebear67. We had a lovely dinner afterwards -- one of the things I do love about going to FC is that I get to have dinner with my beloved friends. It's a rare treat these days.

And Chip Unicorn and Eli were there and fed me street tacos before the Night Market... yummy!!! Yes, I was at the Night Market (yes, as convention store sales) -- I'm always amused by the costumes and shenanigans.

I was a bit more tired than I would have liked, but part of that was forgetting to take one of my medications... but it was good practice for my upcoming trip to Costa Rica.

 JoeBear67 reports the loss of his very dear friend Bob Nelson, AKA  Anthrocoon

He had been in the hospital since early in December for liver and heart problems and then had a medical emergency on the 19th. He rallied about December 22nd, but that was short-lived and within a few days he was back on life support. By January 1 he was also in kidney failure. He died today (January 4) shortly after noon.

He was a kind man, and someone who was beloved not only in the Furry community but also in the broadcasting world. If you don't know him, you might like to browse a bit and learn more about his life and his influence on the fandom.

https://en.wikifur.com/wiki/Bob_Nelson

https://www.furaffinity.net/user/anthrocoon

In my family it's always been cornbread and blackeyed peas (Dad was from Tennessee, so we had the southern tradition.) As i was at the gym today, my trainer asked me about New Years traditions and told me his -- apparently it is a New World Hispanic tradition to wear colored underwear as a wish for the type of year you want.

So... I was trying to explain the colors to my husband and couldn't remember all of them. I googled.

...and got THIS site: https://underwearnewsbriefs.com/202.....ck-traditions/

I know some of the folks on my various feeds (mostly men) will yell "eye bleach!!!" but a fair number of you here (both men and women) will appreciate the... colorful colors. Yes, indeeedy.

(RECOMMENDED SITE: https://embrace-autism.com/)

A lot of you were interested in this, so I'll explain with some examples. It's a relatively new thing to me -- my daughter (who encouraged me to confirm the diagnosis that yes, I'm autistic AND ADHD) introduced me to the term. It doesn't mean "autistic" (though autistic people fall into the neurodivergent category) and it doesn't imply "mentally deficient ala Rain Man" (though they are also neurodivergent)

Basically it's kind of an umbrella term that means "this person thinks and reacts in ways that are very different from normal people."

Think of a color... "blue" for example, and let's pair it with "neurodivergent." "Aqua" is a type of blue... we could say that's ADHD, and "cobalt blue" is a type of blue ...we might say that was Downs Syndrome, and "sky blue" is still another type of blue... we could pair that with dyslexia... and so forth.

Neurodivergent is a big term and covers a bunch of categories that often interlace (Downs syndrome people CAN have ADHD and be dyslexic as well, for example.)

About 1/5th of the people in the world are neurodivergent, and it wouldn't surprise me to find out that MOST fans have some sort of neurodivergence (good explanation is right here: https://medvidi.com/blog/types-of-neurodiversity)


WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER PARTS?

The other term you need to know is "masking", where someone adapts some behaviors so you don't notice how different they are. One of my strategies is to ask people about themselves... they'll talk and will forget to ask questions that I have a VERY hard time answering.

Take the question, "where are you from." That always gets a tiny panic response in me because I'm not sure if THIS time the person means "where were you born" or "where did you grow up" or "where do you currently live" and are they asking for address or state or country (I'm an Army brat, so it's hard to answer anything but "what US state do you live in right now?) The parting comment "We should get together soon" is another scary question -- did they mean 'this month'? Am I supposed to go to their house? Will they invite me or must I invite them? Is it an empty phrase or did they mean it? What kind of get together? (etc.)

I tamp down my panic at being unable to sort through the meaning and say something cheerful.

This is one of the markers of autism (which I have. I'm very high functioning and mask it well after a lifetime of practice.)

That's masking.


WHAT ABOUT AUTISIM? YOU DON'T LOOK AUTISTIC

Here's some other markers of autism (NOTE: ALL PEOPLE HAVE THESE TO SOME DEGREE AT SOME TIME IN THEIR LIVES AND UNDER SOME CONDITIONS. Autistic people have them to a degree where it hampers their ability to interact with others.)

lack of response to names (Yes)
limited eye contact (yes, that's me. So much so that I can't even look in the mirror at my face for very long. Body, yes. I can do that. Face, no.)
literal interpretation of language (me in spades)
repetitive phrases (about the only one that doesn't apply)
repetitive movements (e.g., hand-flapping) (it's jaw-chomping. Constantly.)
difficulty expressing emotions (Yes. This doesn't mean without emotion -- I feel so strongly that I go into "shut down" mode)
intense interests (oh man, this is me in spades)
difficulty with friendships (Yes. I can't tell the difference between someone being friendly or just being socially pleasant so I assume very few people consider me a friend.)
sensitivity to certain tastes, smells, or sounds (again, in spades here.)

-- to the degree that I can't really function well around most other people. So, a shared office space is REALLY stressful for me. I've done it and masked, but it was nerve-wracking and sometimes I would go sit in the bathroom and cry because it was so hard.

Here's a psychologist showing how autism is diagnosed (I'm A+B+C) https://neurodivergentinsights.com/.....n-picture-form

Now, please don't feel sorry for me. I have a high quality life with husband and family that really love me, and people I enjoy both online and offline. I'm a happy and upbeat person. I stay active and challenged, and I love being able to have the time to help people and causes.

Most of all, I am accepted for the sweet-tempered little weirdo that I am. And that's the BIG difference.


AND SOME OF YOU ARE WONDERING IF YOU'RE AUTISTIC

Be careful with the diagnosis. Let me state that unless you (like I) are retired, it is NOT to your advantage to have a diagnosis. You can do a self-diagnosis for your own information (and to develop strategies by reading up or watching videos) but unless you're incapacitated, don't push for a diagnosis.

The prejudice is real, here, and a formal diagnosis will hurt you in the job market -- but if you want to explore, here's some interesting sites (note that I focus on written material and clinicians... I generally don't watch video because I find video material unpleasant (yep, neurodivergent))

https://neurodivergentinsights.com/blog

If you're autistic AND ADHD (yay me!) this is what it looks like: https://laconciergepsychologist.com.....tism-and-adhd/

**FREE TESTS*** And THIS wonderful site has a bunch of the tests WITH rankings from clinicians on how good/outdated the test is: https://embrace-autism.com/autism-tests/

Some other tests for neurodivergency: https://exceptionalindividuals.com/.....rsity-quizzes/



...and remember, it would not be surprising if most of you have one or more forms of neurodivergency. It's common in creative people, and it's part of why the Furry community is such a refuge for people. Neurodivergents "get" other Neurodivergents and it's healing to be seen as "normal" within a group (even if the group doesn't quite conform to the rest of the world's idea of normal.



...thank you for coming to my Ted talk. :)

So... I'm learning something new -- how to teach English (as a foreign language) online. I'm going through a university, so there will be yet another certificate (minor degree for credit) in addition to my collection of degrees.

But, oy... I struggle with it. One of the questions asked was "how is English language like a cake?" and honestly, I just froze and then the answer got strange (went into ingredients sources and root words and variants on recipes and language variants (slang, creoles, pidgins, etc)... and THEN it turns out that our fellow students (some of whom speak another language as their first language) get to grade our efforts. Sadly, I learn this after I turn in the homework (because squirrel brain did NOT read everything carefully!)

I ran into this with other classes that I've taken; sometimes I can't figure out what interpretation the teacher wants. This is nobody's fault; I'm just neurodivergent, but it's unsettling and rather stressful.

Some of the teacher assumptions are amusing, though... including the line in the video that went "Your great teachers probably used whiteboards,
PowerPoint presentations, diagrams, hey, maybe even metaphors."

Uhmmmm.... no, dear heart. They used textbooks and blackboards and lectures. The teaching culture has changed, but they still managed to be good teachers anyway (I can remember only one... we moved every 2-3 years, so there were far too many to remember.)

I'm not going to let this one fall thorough, though. I intend to chase after this until I finish it.


(an ESOL certificate will give me a chance to earn some money if I need to work from home.)

One of the "Furrst Fandom" folks, and a significant artist in the early days of the fandom. They're going through some thin times and she's opened up some commission slots.

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11034077/

For those of you curious, the cause is apparently myocardial infarction - AKA heart attack (blood clot elsewhere breaks loose, travels to heart, blocks all blood flow to the area of the heart controlling heartbeat. Heart stops, death comes quickly.)

Important stuff: There's a gofundme for his dogs -- they're being cared for and Karen Garvin is working with some rescue groups to find a good home for them. They've almost met their goal. Please share the link.
https://gofund.me/701c080d

Second, he's been cremated and they're in the process of getting some art (as well as the name "Dineegla") put on the vase for his ashes.

***new info*** Edited to add that they've found a very lovely lady who will foster the dogs. She's part of a rescue group. Karen is going to go over to get them prepped for the move to their new home tomorrow.

A followup on my journal about seeing a nutritionist-- I did indeed go to the one recommended by my doctor. It was a bit of an annoying trip -- the paper he gave me had the OLD address (which I found out when I got there... a 40 minute drive.) Found the new location and was annoyed by the time I got there.

The receptionist guy was nice, but after I filled out all the paperwork, he said I'd have to come back because (some sort of number wasn't on the referral paper and they needed that number.)

I was there. I was annoyed. I was starting to get hungry. I waved the credit card we use for medical expenses and said "how much is a cash payment visit."

He looked surprised. "$150."

I handed the card. "Charge me for the visit and fix the paperwork later."

He kind of goggled at me.

(sigh) This, folks, is privilege. As it happens, we had the money because our medical expenses got reduced when husband decided that the $1500/month Parkinson's meds did nothing and went off them. (not kidding, folks -- that was just one medication. We still have some that cost several hundreds a month.)

BUT DARNIT, this should be available to EVERY ONE OF YOU (and even the people not reading this)... not just me.

Anyway, the nutritionist group is EXCELLENT. They did a good job on the intake, explained the program, asked for my goals, told me about their programs that include recipes (AND they have personal trainers that come included... insurance pays for most of this) and they have "accountability partners" (which I need.))

...but it grieves me truly that this program isn't affordable for everyone. Because those that we are mourning this week... they might have had a better outcome if they just had access to something like what I can afford.

And that truly and deeply makes me very sad.

Per Wolf Kidd, another Furrst Fandom (founding member of the fandom) has died - the Canadian artist Richard Bartrop (https://www.furaffinity.net/user/rjbartrop)

(sigh) We'd exchanged some comments last month on the death of Taral Wayne. I didn't expect Richard to follow so quickly.

Taral, Dineegla, Richard... (sigh.) I wish I could rewind time.

No, not in a bad way.

Getting set to go see the nutritionist. No, there's nothing wrong with me (other than I need to lose weight) but I want to make sure my nutrition is good (lower cholesterol, too) and that I can make better meals for hubby (who has diabetes and a bunch of other things.)

I'm not a very good cook (mostly from lack of interest and busy with other things) but my plan to outlast this presidency means staying healthy. So it's off I go to learn something new -- and bullying a new provider into NOT treating me like a "little old grandmother."

That's something that I regularly have to do because I'm NOT a normal woman. Daughter also warned me that I have to tell them that I'm "neurodivergent" so they understand that some behaviors are related to Being Me.

(and if you didn't realize it, yes I'm autistic. So autistic that my parents took me to a psychiatrist when I was 13 and institutionalizing me would have been an option. However, I gamed the system and avoided that by lying about everything.)

Got one in my inbox today from a Fur Affinity account (with a green leaf beside the name), and because I'm a suspicious old bat and the link does NOT lead to anything I've seen before. The account (with a green leaf) was created just yesterday and the shouts on the profile say it's a scam.

They'll try to hack your account and grab your credit cards.

ALERT FOLKS, PLEASE.

I had been out of touch yesterday and was very saddened today to learn of Dineegla's death. We had been connected here on FM for awhile, and I had talked with him several times. He was a gentle and loving soul, and his many friends treasured him for his kindness. Sadly his husband's death hit him hard, and I think that he never quite recovered from that.

He loved music -- all the arts, really.

Here at the last part of the year, he was ill and depressed, but had started to climb out of it. I encouraged him to do a Greymuzzle panel at a local convention, and celebrated when he was accepted as a panelist at MFF. It's heartbreaking that he died only a few days before he would have given that panel - he was really looking forward to it.

All I know about the event is that Soba said Lionor sent a friend to check on Dineegla and that he was found dead in his car.

I'm seeing so many tributes for him now. I'm not sure that he ever realized how much he was loved. I hope he and his love are together now.

(Lionor's journal: https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11017835/)

UPDATED INFORMATION HERE:
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11024851/

Made it over to Bluesky and am... wandering arouond, looking confused. Par for the course, folks!

coyotedancing.bsky.social

To say that I am worried and disappointed and upset is an understatement (I've taken a xanax and am going to avoid caffeinating myself today.) We do have the economic power to move to another country... but

BUT...

I have friends and family who are gay and trans, and to be honest I am afraid that the whole furry community (particularly the fursuiters, who are the most visible component) are in danger. With DeSantis howling about Dangerous Liberal Professors, education will be less accessible (and it's not very accessible right now.) I'm not in danger from a purge of liberal professors (since I haven't taught in awhile and they'd look at me and say "old and harmless") but I think we will enter a stage where access to GOOD information will be very problematic.

But all those in real danger -- gay, trans, Latinx, Blacks, women,, anyone who doesn't look like Trump and Vance -- they need protectors.

How can I walk off and abandon them? People will need information, they will need advocates, they will need a protector. I will sit down and think about finances (and talk to a financial advisor) so that we don't get wrecked by either me needing a knee transplant or a sudden crisis (hubby has Parkinson's and diabetes (among a laundry list of other conditions) and one sad aspect of it is that they are medically fragile)

There may come a day when, for medical reasons, I leave the US (and believe me, I'm going to position myself for an increase in medical costs and many other things... at one point one of the husband's medications was several thousand dollars a month.)

But I'm here, dear friends.

But the election site is all set up, thanks to help from my contractor, and I'm mostly ready to go. What I fear most is someone coming in to be confrontational. I'm not good at People-ing and the idea of trying to de-escalate someone determined to be a jerk is just slightly terrifying.

I'm sure things will be fine. I am planning on giving the building's staff the numbers of the sheriff's department to call if someone starts something (in case someone's taking a swing at me, I can't exactly say "hang on. Let me call the cops and then you can punch me, sir.)

I'll be so glad when it's next year.

Went to the site that I'll be handling (a senior center in Mesquite, Texas) and talked with the staff. Explained the crowd sizes that I anticipated based on the last presidential elections I worked. Talked with them about when I could set up and how much of the rec area (which we use) I wanted to cordon off for the expected lines and about how I intended to arrange clear access to quick exit points if they are needed.

Talked with them briefly about safety measures and decided I would give them the Marshal's number to call IF there should be an altercation that I'm trying to de-escalate and I can't be on the phone while handling whoever it is.

I'll set up Monday. Haven't heard from any clerks, but I know I'll at least have my daughter there as a clerk.

I will be SO glad when this election is over.

Or at least when the 15th comes around. We came back from our Florida vacation (no new disasters, thank Bast!) and lizard and cat and house are fine. I'm ...tired (whee!)

This week is prep for the election (for those who don't know, I'm an election judge and I'm responsible for opening and running one site on election day) and I'm kind of stress-ball about that. And this weekend is ALSO a big family wedding that I don't want to miss. I'm half a mind to buy a couple of airline tickets (hubby and me) so it's not a 4 plus hour drive to Austin.

Dunno. Going to price out things tomorrow (I'm tired from the long drive.)

And I'm writing lists to manage the stressy feeiings, but.. oy. I will be so VERY glad for November 15 to roll around.

I'm not going to go into details, but in this week, we've escaped a hurricane, came home (Texas) to electrical fire and blown circuits, had to replace the fridge and several other things (to the tune of $5k)... and several other things that I'm blanking on because we've got the fridge delivery folks and the electricians here and the air conditioning repairman due soon...

...and I'm Just Darn Tired. Yessireee Bob. Just darn tired.

(that's actually a "minced oath" of a title. Yes, linguistic term. You can look it up. I'm a great fan of minced oaths and while I don't cuss, I do use minced oaths.)

I've moved my exercise schedule to twice a week now; Tuesdays are stretching days and Thursdays are workout days. My goal is set for October, when I'll be in Florida for a little bit and will go horseback riding on the beach again. THIS time I intend to be able to get into the saddle (and swing my leg over the horse's back) without any help.

The knees are still bad, but the constant exercise and stretching has actually made them much better. I know you hear various pundits yammering about "exercise is important"... what I didn't realize is that it can reverse your status.

Three years ago, I was in so much pain from my knees that I was using a cane and occasionally using a mobility cart in the grocery stores. Last year I was back to only using a cane sometimes, particularly for a long walk (or a shopping cart for walking around a store, even if I was just going to get a stick of butter or a package of yarn from Michaels'.

Within this past month I've been able to walk easily on grass (uneven surface), get up and down from the floor (HUGE goal... I could do it before but I need to make sure I can always do this), and stroll around large stores without needing a cane or a shopping cart.

So, some nice BIG changes in my status. Need to work on losing weight; as scattered as my focus is sometime, I'm going to deal with it by asking for a series of consultations with nutritionists. Yes, I know I could figure it out myself but I also know I let things slip. I do lots better with someone holding me accountable...

...like my personal trainer, who will nag me (well, encourage me) into keeping up with the exercises and not quitting after 10 minutes.

Nope, nothing wrong on this end. I've been silent for a few days because I'm doing technical and developmental edits on TWO novels now (not mine; other writers) and that does take time.

I also hauled out some of my older stuff and am working on getting it scanned in AND revising the novel I almost finished. Yay inspiration!

...er... and I've been playing Warcraft. New expansion dropped. I got mobs to kill and stories to explore!

On a more serious note, I've upped my time at the gym with my personal trainer to twice a week -- and am grateful for it. Every Friday I go to a needlework club at the library with a number of women who range in age from 45 (my daughter) to 90-something. On Friday, as we were about to leave, I started for the car and noticed one of the other members on her knees in front of her car, two men hovering over her. She'd fallen, and yes, she couldn't get up.

The most unsettling thing about a situation like that is that you KNOW how to get up...but your muscles don't work. It's as though you have no energy. You tell your mind to move this arm here and that leg there, but there's no energy to move them. They're inert. The two men tried to help her to her feet, but her muscles weren't having any of it.

I got her to drink some water and the guys brought out two chairs. She asked to have the hood of the car lifted so she could hang onto it, and I managed to get the heavy thing lifted once someone popped the latch (and I thanked my coach mentally for that) The guys left and I stayed and talked to her about getting some physical therapy and an occupational therapist (to help rearrange her house so that IF (when, actually) she fell again she could get to help or get to her feet.

(sigh) I don't think she will. She was talking about buying a rollator instead.

Now, I'm not against those things. I think they're wonderful. But she's younger than me (by about 8 years?) and my heart sank. If she goes that route rather than trying therapy and strategies, she WILL end up in trouble (sooner rather than later) and it'll turn into a long hospital stay.

(sigh)

I'll see her next week and maybe some of the others will also encourage her to do physical therapy. Once you end up in the wheelchair, very few get out of it... and she lives alone, so it's a fast step from there into the nursing home.

I'm not against nursing homes (I think they're good solutions for some situations) but I wish for something a bit better for her than that kind of fate.

Last night, actually.

Got an 8 am email from the animal shelter volunteer organization asking if anyone could transport a badly hurt cat to the emergency vet. I do NOT do 8 am these days (and 10 am is negotiable sometimes) so when I got around to responding the cat had already been taken out. A while later I got a text asking if I might pick up the cat instead and bring him to the volunteer who does a lot of rehabbing for injured cats.

Sure! Why not?

The kitty's story was this: a couple driving (possibly to work) saw him on the side of the road, still walking, but badly injured. The skin on his right leg was torn and a bone was sticking out. They picked him up (he was sweet and seemed to be aware that they wanted to help) and they got him to the shelter, and from there he was taken to the vet. They expected him to be out of surgery and ready to go at 6, but apparently they had some other emergencies. The pickup time was changed to 10 pm.

No problemo for me; I'm a night owl.

His leg couldn't be saved, so it was amputated at the hip (poor little guy) and as long as he was under, they neutered him and gave him his shots. He was healthy and well-nourished, though, and they said that animals who lose a leg don't mourn the loss as humans do. He will adjust quickly.

I picked up groggy Mr. Bones and off we went to his "nursing home."

He's a sweet guy, and I suspect that somewhere a very sad family is looking for their kitty, who isn't gong to return home. He wasn't microchipped, so there's no way of telling his people what happened to him.

But -- happy ending here -- the folks at the vet clinic loved him because he is such a sweet animal. One of the techs wants to adopt him and the people who found him want to foster him until he's ready to go to a new home. So Mr. Bones is off on a new adventure now, and I wish his little stripey self the very best new life.

...and that was my adventure last night. I look forward to being cat transport in the future.

Explanations here:

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10930973

Even if you can only spare $3.00, that's still helpful. So is sharing the journal.


JUST OCCURRED TO ME.... anyone know of upcoming cons where artists, etc, could contribute to a charity auction for FA?

Closing soon. I know y'all know community members who should be nominated (it's a pity that Dragoneer can't be nominated...)

https://www.askpapabear.com/goodfur.....ationform.html

Taral Wayne died without a will, and his sister is struggling to deal with the things he's collected and the art he produced. There's a summary at File 770 zine and a link to the sister's contact info (on Facebook, but she's not very active.)

If you'd be interested in having some of his art, contact her.

Article link here: https://file770.com/pixel-scroll-8-.....-of-scroll-13/