It is unlikely that I will be browsing/keeping track of this site anymore. If you care to reach me, please do so via the contact methods listed on my profile. I will NOT be checking notes.

Just thought it'd be appropriate to cross-post Farelle's announcement at http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3452323/

<3 you my beautiful fluffy purple bride :3

The link should explain why:

http://io9.com/5901715/the-weirdest.....ium=socialflow

At  farellemoon's request...

1. We all know what we call you, what about the folks at home? Whats your name?

James.

2. How tall are you?

6' 3"-ish


3. Natural hair color? (if you can remember it)

Dirty blond

3. What about eye color?

Depends. Somewhere between grey, blue, and deep green. Mood and lighting seems to influence the color.

4. What orientation are you?

Northeast. Oh wait--you mean sexual orientation. Straight.

5. Are you single, taken, or undecided?

Engaged to  farellemoon


6. What do you do in your spare time?

Spare time? What spare time.

7. What's your job?

Lets just say I work in marketing and save ourselves a headache.

8. What's one thing you like about yourself?

I can fix anything.

9. Alright, now what about something you dislike about yourself?

Fat/Bald.


10. What's some things your friends noticed about you when they first met you?

I'm a dick.

11. Of what faith/religion are you(if any at all?)

Ain't got no time to waste on religion.


12. Do you drink?

Yes.


13. Do you smoke?

Only green things.


14. What are your fears?

Failure. Not succeeding in life. Contributing nothing of value.


15. What are your dreams/goals?

Home ownership. Freedom from living paycheck to paycheck. A master's degree.

17. Who's your best bud?

I have two, neither of which are furries. Their names are Jonathan and Roger, respectively.

18. Alright, you got the cravin' for munchies, what'cha reachin' for?

Old Dutch loaded potato chips.


19. Favorite drink?

Basil Haydens or other tasty bourbons. Also, single malt scotch aged for 12 years+.


20. Favorite color?

Green.


21. If you had any super power, what would it be?

Nuclear detonation.


22. Favorite movie?

The Big Lebowski/The Fifth Element (still pissed there was never a sequel).


23. Least favorite food?

Raw tomatoes/Bananas


24. Quick! You have only one meal left before you die!!! What is it?

Stouffer's meat lasagna/2" thick ribeye and a loaded baked potato


25. What do you drive/wish you drove?

2001 Dodge Neon R/T / A 1986 F-150 Shortbed with a 351 windsor and a 12" lift an KC lights on a roll bar.


26. Most disliked bug?

Box elder beetles.


27. Most hated pet peeves?

Wait, mine or someone else's? Thinking that being thorough is anal?

28. Dislike in life?

Religion. Was a waste of time and energy. We'd be mining asteroids if it wasn't for fundamentalists of all stripes.

29. Most annoying?

See above.

30. Most disliked TV show?

Reality TV other than cooking shows. Fuck you Fox, fuck you.

I've gotta stop looking at fursuits. I'm never gonna be able to afford one :/

I removed yesterday's journal for a number of reasons.

I had a really hard day, as did  farellemoon. We had a huge fight, Farelle was and is still feeling really sick (she's been in bed all day, but at least her fever broke), and I blacked out yesterday evening. I still don't know what happened--I wasn't drinking, but there's a huge section of last night I just don't remember. We went out for fun, I remember parking the car, and I don't remember anything after that. I guess we made it home OK, as we're both here and there's no damage to the car.

Anyway, times are tough right now, and I think my brain may have simply blown a circuit breaker. I'm sure there's a more scientific explanation, but I simply can't afford to keep going to the doctor.

I pretty sure only two people read this anyway, but I figure I owe the both of them an apology.

Back to work...

Such a long day today at work. I don't wanna cook dinner for Farelle and I, but probably should in terms of budget. I know I shouldn't complain about 7+ hour days, since it's money in my pocket, but damn I'm beat. No breakfast, no breaks, no lunch...

Meh... off to the store.

Soo... it's been a while since I've posted one of these journal things. A awful lot has happened in the meantime.

While we're still unpacking, I've picked up and moved my household from Albuquerque, NM to Minneapolis, MN. The trip was mostly uneventful, despite the crazy weather that included dust storms in Texas and Kansas, quarter-sized hail and narrowly avoiding a tornado, and a crazy white-out blizzard in Iowa. The only bad that that happened was that I nailed the low clearance sign at the hotel in Brooklyn Park. $500 down the hole, but at least the truck wasn't damaged and no one was hurt.

Lucy (my dog) was pretty freaked out by the trip and has been throwing up a bit from stress, but she's finally settling in. She's enjoying our walks and is slowly becoming her wiggly self again.

 kitsunekla and his roommate Lego very graciously helped us move in and hung in there until the move was done (despite my chain of curses when my car got stuck on the trailer).  farellemoon and I are starting to get a bit more settled and hopefully by the end of the week everything will be put away so I can give the house a thorough cleaning.

I also went to my first furmeet on Saturday with the  mnfurs. I had a lot of fun and met some really interesting people. As I have a bit of free time I've offered to help out with some organizing in the future, as I'd like to become an active part of the local community.

I'm so happy to be here sharing my home with  farellemoon. I'm looking forward to exploring Minnesota together!

We are all Immortal.

We are the embodiment of the blood, sweat, tears, creativity, of the generations that came before us. We will live on in those that follow after. The present would not exist but for the past. The future hinges on our actions in the present.

The finest thing any of us can contribute to the being that is humanity--the wondrous collection of culture and creation that is the essence of our species--is the desire to create a positive future. A shared future we may not have the chance to experience, it is true, but bear in mind that we now live in an era shaped and formed by our ancestor's best intentions and most joyful dreams.

Celebrate your chance to live. Celebrate the chance to find your place to contribute to a positive future. Celebrate the chance to shape peace and prosperity for the next generation.

Never give in to hate, jealousy, and negativity.

Well, maybe not, but it's made of win.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7375149/

Been a while since I last updated this here journal.

Christmas with  farellemoon was fantastic. I enjoyed meeting her family and friends, as well as our road trip. Good food, excellent company, fine gifts, and lots of good memories.

Flash forward to two weeks later: DATELINE--MINNEAPOLIS:

My week with Jennifer and her kind, generous, and interesting friends was fantastic. Jenn and I found a new place to live. It will be a cozy home, with our roommate Cody, as well as my dog Lucy tucked into it's chocolate-hued hardwood cupboards. I discussed politics with her current roommates and did some cooking. Dinner and The Lion King at the Orpheum with  kitsunekla &  flyingfire was a lot of fun. The cold didn't really show its full force while I was there, which was nice, but at the same time I wish I'd had a chance to see what it's like. Soon enough I suppose

I'm a little nervous about the move, but I've run the numbers, and it looks like everything will be ok. The next six weeks are going to be filled with work and packing. It will be a long drive out to Minneapolis when the time comes. But really, I'm looking forward to being closer to my lovely and starting over in Minnesota.

In other news, I've finally gotten around to downloading the pictures from the past month or so. If I have time I'll upload some of my favorites over the next week.

*falls asleep listening to pundits engage in punditry over the state of the union address*

So, life seems to be leveling out and I can finally see the long-term again through the fog. It's still a bit misty, but each day seems to resolve more detail. Right now I can clearly see lights flickering in a pattern that resembles the Minneapolis skyline from afar.

I have been trying to take better care of myself. I have started a medication regimen to help manage my Bipolar. I'm going in to see the Psychiatrist tomorrow morning in order to determine whether or not it's best to place me on a mood stabilizer as well. I've resisted Lithium due to a bad experience in the past, but will give it another shot.

I have also been trying to eat less and move more. I bought some free weights on Tuesday evening and will gradually increase the amount of weight and number of reps I'm doing each day. I'm already seeing and feeling results.

Otherwise, the car is running top notch, the PCs have no issues, and I have no other material complaints.

Can't wait to see on the 20th. I'll be throwing a Channukah dinner that evening. I'll also be heading to Denver for Christmas. Then Minneapolis in January. We're gonna see The Lion King :3.

*knocks on wood* I really hope things keep getting better from here on out. My efforts and attitude will be focused on the up and up :3

Everything seems meant to be, except when thongs come to me.
I learned to look on the future with spite,
to step aside and not to fight,
until one day a purpose was laid before me.

Nope. This path is not yours. it's meant to be, but not for you. Your work, your plans, your dreams, your heart, your soul, were all an illusion. A pawn to be handled gently. Alone you will take the fall. Alone you will die.

The rim of the crater that you've just climbed, the record of your untimely demise, meaningless, when from the top you see only desolation. You really took you world down with you this time. All the familiar places, all the spaced once haunted, vanished. Such isolation defies words and emotion. It is your penance.

So now, thirsting, emaciated, empty--sitting in limbo. Searching for ruins upon which to rebuild.

And finding nothing. Nothing. Nope. The end, or a new beginning, what does it matter. To suffer slowly is the end result.

The only escape is sleep, where the ghosts of the past rage and torment. A respite in the void? No. Nope.

Just clawing, tearing, ripping, ragged pain. Slow, monotonous, terrifying. In the end only a shell remains.

What of value is left? In the world or inside?

ZOMG LOLZ.

I'm pretty drunk right now, so it's time for some honesty. I ain't tagging shit.

Borrowed/stolen from

[ ] I am shorter than 5'4.
[x] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[x] I have many scars.
[x] I tan easily.
[ ] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[x] I have a tattoo. (That will be fixed sometime soon!)
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance. (in a bad way.)
[x] I have/I've had braces.
[x] I wear glasses.
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[ ] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[ ] I have more than 2 piercings.
[ ] I have piercing in places besides my ears.
[x] I have freckles. (maybe?)

FAMILY/HOME LIFE

[X] I've sworn at my parents.
[x] I've run away from home.
[x] I've been kicked out of the house
[x] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[ ] I want to have kids someday. (maybe.)
[ ] I have a child.
[ ] I've lost a child.

SCHOOL/WORK

[ ] I'm in school.
[x] I have a job. (Not really.)
[ ] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[ ] I almost always do my homework.
[ ] I've missed a week or more of school.
[x] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[ ] I've stolen something from my job.
[x] I've been fired.

EMBARRASSMENT

[x] I've slipped out an "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[ ] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[X] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[x] I've glued my hand to something.
[x] I've had my pants rip in pubic.


HEALTH

[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[X] I've gotten stitches/staples.
[ ] I've broken a bone.
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[x] I've sat in a doctor's office/emergency room with a friend.
[x] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[x] I've had a serious surgery. (what counts as serious? general anesthetic? life threatening?)


TRAVEL

[x] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[X] I've been on a plane.
[ ] I've been to Canada.
[x] I've been to Mexico.
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan. (again, something to fix soon)
[ ] I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.

EXPERIENCES

[ ] I've gotten lost in my city.
[x] I've seen a shooting star.
[ ] I've wished on a shooting star.
[x] I've seen a meteor shower.
[ ] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[x] I've kicked a guy where it hurts
[x] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[x] I've gone skinny dipping.
[x] I've played spin the bottle.
[x] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour. [this is not as cool as it sounds, although the vomit was quite pleasant.)
[x] I've crashed a car.
[x] I've been in a play.
[x] I've met someone in person from myspace.
[X] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern lights.
[x] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[x] I've played chicken.
[X] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[x] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I've eaten sushi.
[x] I've been snowboarding.

RELATIONSHIPS

[ ] I'm single.
[ ] I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[ ] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[x] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've gotten divorced.
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[ ] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[x] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[x] I've kept something from a past relationship.

SEXUALITY

[ ] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[x] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I am a cuddler.
[ ] I've been kissed in the rain.
[x] I've hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.

HONESTY

[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[x] I've snuck out of my house.
[X] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[ ] I've cheated on a test.
[x] I've run a red light.
[x] I've been suspended from school.
[x] I've witnessed a crime.
[x] I've been in a fist fight.
[x] I've been arrested.

DRUGS/ALCOHOL

[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I regularly drink.
[x] I've passed out from drinking.
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[x] I've smoked weed
[x] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[x] I've eaten shrooms.
[ ] I've popped E.
[x] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[x] I've done hard drugs.
[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[x] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[x] I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I'm anorexic or bulimic.
[x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[x] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[x] I've woken up crying.

DEATH

[ ] I'm afraid of dying.
[x] I hate funerals.
[x] I've seen someone dying.
[x] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[x] Someone close to me has committed suicide. (not best friends or anything, but someone I knew)
[x] I've planned my own suicide. (soon I will have my keys back)
[x] I've attempted suicide. (I have the internal/external scars to prove it)
[ ] I've written a eulogy for myself. (how arrogant. death is silence. death is finality. trying to live beyond it is hubris.)

MATERIALISM

[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[x] I own something from Hot Topic.
[ ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[ ] I collect comic book.
[ ] I own something from The Gap.
[x] I own something I got on eBay.
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie.

RANDOM

[ ] I can sing well.
[ ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[x] I watch the news.
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[x] I curse regularly. (Fuck you.)
[ ] I sing in the shower.
[ ] I am a morning person.
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[x] I'm a snob about grammar.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I twirl my hair.
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[ ] I love being neat.
[ ] I love Spam (you go backpacking for a week--mashed potatoes and velveeta, with beef jerky, seriously.)
[x] I've copied over 30 CDs in a day
[x] I bake well.
[ ] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.
[ ] I've worn pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[x] I know how to shoot a gun. (anything smaller than a.50)
[ ] I am in love with love. (I was, but I'm at a crossroads)
[x] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE
[x] I laugh at my own jokes.
[x] I eat fast food weekly.
[ ] I believe in ghosts.
[x] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[ ] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[ ]I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[ ] I am really ticklish.
[ ] I love white chocolate.
[x] I bite my nails.
[x] I play video games.
[ ] I'm good at remembering faces
[ ] I'm good at remembering names.
[x] I'm good at remembering dates.
[x] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. (somebody please kill me.)

There. Now you think you know me better, but you don't know the first goddamned thing about me. This is the Internet. Get over it.

Picked up the R/T from the mechanic right at the end of the day. The receptionist had taken it for a test drive just before I walked in the door. "I drove it when you first brought it in," she said with a smile. "It's like a whole different animal--it's a new car."

I didn't think much of it at the time. I'd been made overzealous promises by mechanics before. Then the mechanic brought me the keys and with a smile said "go ahead and take her around the block while I cash out the guy ahead of you in line." So I did. What a rush. 0-30 was nothing as I flew into second, the engine's RPMs never scratching above the 3,000 mark. That's a whole different experience than having to over rev the poor motor just to keep pace with traffic.

It *IS* like a new car. It leapt to life like it had just rolled off the factory floor. It also didn't hurt that I had hand detailed the car before I brought it into the shop--it looked new, it sounded new. I felt like it was christmas. I felt alive.

I wisely took it easy as I rounded the block, cautiously revving the engine with the windows down and listening for the knocks and rattles that had made me neurotic. Nothing. Just the smooth tick of the lifters on the cam, the quiet whistle of the breather, the muffled growl of the intake, and the, low, mournful whine of the transmission as my foot laid on the clutch.

Money comes and money goes. That it will be spent is certain, but when, where, and how makes all the difference. A choice between knowing what I was involved with or opening Pandora's box seemed so dangerous, but now feels so right. Despite rolled eyes and clucking tongues my Neon is back in action, ready to grant me the freedom of the road one can only find on the solitary byways of the western US.

A long road lays before her...

So, I just got wind that my 2001 Neon R/T needs a top end rebuild due to a broken ring. That's looking to set me back $1,800. Ouch.

I'm just not ready to give it up. Granted, I certainly won't be able to find another car that's as nice for the cost of the repair. Not to mention how hard it's getting to find a car with a manual. It's also in pretty good shape otherwise (with the exception of a broken sunroof).

Oh well, I guess I'll have her for a few more years. That's not really so bad, she's fun as hell to drive. Maybe I'll post a pic once I take her home and clean her up a bit.

Money comes, money goes... Just another headache on top of all the other headaches. Maybe I can get a part time job for the holidays hucking packages for UPS.