FA+
Shop
Artistic Struggles and Life
Posted 11 years agoSo who else out there struggles to find the time to draw and actually focus on improving one's art or other creative areas?
And who else finds that being a responsible employed adult kinda conflicts with that? lol
Seriously though, those of you who art and hold down a job and responsibilities (and probably a stable healthy relationship too), how do you do it?
And who else finds that being a responsible employed adult kinda conflicts with that? lol
Seriously though, those of you who art and hold down a job and responsibilities (and probably a stable healthy relationship too), how do you do it?
Curiosity: Yiffy?
Posted 11 years agoHey there,
Just a curiosity.
I have a lot of different furry friends these last few years from all different walks of life and perspectives. I'm curious how you feel about the 'Yiffy' aspect of the furry community, how you define yourself in that category specifically (an openly yiffy furry, a 'closet' or 'lurker' yiffy furry, or do you not define yourself this way)?
Dont worry about judgement. I've been called a 'Furvert' more than a few times, I also severely dislike the connotations that 'Yiffy' furs have on outside perspective of our community, and I have a clinical interest in the sociological aspect of how everyone defines themselves in this category. Sooo... I'm all over the board and can understand a lot of perspectives. (If that isnt clear enough, just ask. You should know by now I enjoy brevity.)
Just a curiosity.
I have a lot of different furry friends these last few years from all different walks of life and perspectives. I'm curious how you feel about the 'Yiffy' aspect of the furry community, how you define yourself in that category specifically (an openly yiffy furry, a 'closet' or 'lurker' yiffy furry, or do you not define yourself this way)?
Dont worry about judgement. I've been called a 'Furvert' more than a few times, I also severely dislike the connotations that 'Yiffy' furs have on outside perspective of our community, and I have a clinical interest in the sociological aspect of how everyone defines themselves in this category. Sooo... I'm all over the board and can understand a lot of perspectives. (If that isnt clear enough, just ask. You should know by now I enjoy brevity.)
MFF is in the planner
Posted 11 years agoSo, 
ketchara and I decided to do MFF this year instead of AC. Hotel room is booked! Still gotta book the flight and everything else is details!
Who are we gonna see at MFF 2014 then?
ketchara and I decided to do MFF this year instead of AC. Hotel room is booked! Still gotta book the flight and everything else is details!Who are we gonna see at MFF 2014 then?
Fursuit Building
Posted 11 years agoJust curious, How many of you fuzzbutts are or have made your own fursuit?
Any particularly glorious or horrendous experiences?
Also, Sources for fur!?
Any particularly glorious or horrendous experiences?
Also, Sources for fur!?
Drunken Journal 01 (a very bad idea)
Posted 12 years agoSo i couldn't sleep and really wanted to get a little fuzzy with my often ignored pal alcohol.... on that note this journal is most likely a bad idea.
for those i know that may read this under aged, alcohol is making this massively difficult to type without going over 5 to 6 times a word. It's a good excuse to act out your wants but can easily get you in deep trouble (edited that from a very bad phrase)
yeah, drunken journal is a bad idea and may be hard to follow.
Anyway, for those maybe 5 that will ever read this. Alcohol may reduce the barriers you impose from doing stupid things but it can free you to try things you would think are equally stupid but turn out great. use with caution is a given. I can thank 55seddel for my recent cognitive refresh as he's a wonderful conversationalist and unquestionably intelligent.
Just spend five minutes with Seddel on skype and you'll be voting for him in a few years, as the furries inevitably form a voting population within the liberal population. (and Seddel is amazingly intellectual.)
*takes a break to get a full glass of water to prevent a hangover for the meet tomorrow*
I wanted to revisit being tipsy and think i overshot to the point where seeing one thing is difficult (thank you the last of my sapphire gin and Pinnacle Vodka. Wanted to see how that affected my ability to put digital pen to digital paper and as usual find that i'm throwing down lines (and text in this case) easily without apprehension of how it will be judged by my peers. It's an odd advantage to find yourself unafraid of drawing. Even in this inebriated and totally honest state, i'm not sure what's up with my apprehension over
being artistic.
oh, quick shoutout to http://np.ironhelmet.com for a fun game that will turn colleagues and friends into distrusting each other and backstabbing... thanks to my new workplace that is a bunch of gamers and love this kinda stuff: http://redstorm.com/
Anyway, i digress.
... i'll probably delete this when i remember i posted it.
Till then stay true to your furry selves, yiffy or not, and be awesome as you usually are. Just remember to pull in someone looking to be a part of things under your 'wing' (not everyone's avian). We only grow as furries by being generous and kind when we become popular, whether we intended to or not.
and in keeping with the alcohol induced state i'm in ... WHATEVER... i dont care what you think.
ketchara is freaking awesome and a better mate than i could imagine. ill sometimes think it's all a big joke and someone's pulling my leg, she's that awesome.
[edits and fixes pending as i sober and fix mistakes, before i delete this whole 'darn' effort]
I'm going back to drawing my penis and taking another swig. Have fun my wonderful furries!
for those i know that may read this under aged, alcohol is making this massively difficult to type without going over 5 to 6 times a word. It's a good excuse to act out your wants but can easily get you in deep trouble (edited that from a very bad phrase)
yeah, drunken journal is a bad idea and may be hard to follow.
Anyway, for those maybe 5 that will ever read this. Alcohol may reduce the barriers you impose from doing stupid things but it can free you to try things you would think are equally stupid but turn out great. use with caution is a given. I can thank 55seddel for my recent cognitive refresh as he's a wonderful conversationalist and unquestionably intelligent.
Just spend five minutes with Seddel on skype and you'll be voting for him in a few years, as the furries inevitably form a voting population within the liberal population. (and Seddel is amazingly intellectual.)
*takes a break to get a full glass of water to prevent a hangover for the meet tomorrow*
I wanted to revisit being tipsy and think i overshot to the point where seeing one thing is difficult (thank you the last of my sapphire gin and Pinnacle Vodka. Wanted to see how that affected my ability to put digital pen to digital paper and as usual find that i'm throwing down lines (and text in this case) easily without apprehension of how it will be judged by my peers. It's an odd advantage to find yourself unafraid of drawing. Even in this inebriated and totally honest state, i'm not sure what's up with my apprehension over
being artistic.
oh, quick shoutout to http://np.ironhelmet.com for a fun game that will turn colleagues and friends into distrusting each other and backstabbing... thanks to my new workplace that is a bunch of gamers and love this kinda stuff: http://redstorm.com/
Anyway, i digress.
... i'll probably delete this when i remember i posted it.
Till then stay true to your furry selves, yiffy or not, and be awesome as you usually are. Just remember to pull in someone looking to be a part of things under your 'wing' (not everyone's avian). We only grow as furries by being generous and kind when we become popular, whether we intended to or not.
and in keeping with the alcohol induced state i'm in ... WHATEVER... i dont care what you think.
ketchara is freaking awesome and a better mate than i could imagine. ill sometimes think it's all a big joke and someone's pulling my leg, she's that awesome.
[edits and fixes pending as i sober and fix mistakes, before i delete this whole 'darn' effort]
I'm going back to drawing my penis and taking another swig. Have fun my wonderful furries!
(insert witty title here)
Posted 12 years agoSoooo.... wow it's been a long time since i wrote a journal on FA.
That art challenge was fun in concept but I'm not confident enough in my art skills yet to really tackle something that strenuous. Ah well, I am still arting off and on with the positive influence of my mate and the wonderful NC furs that go to the weekly Art Jam (though more often than not we chat and consume mall food than draw anything).
But I digress.
FWA 2013 was awesome. As you can see I got a badge finally commissioned at a con and am working on doing some drawing of my own fursona. I dont really feel like i can claim the look till i can draw myself. Being able to do that consistently will be a major boon to my art-esteem.
I've met many wonderful furs over the past two years or so since i discovered I wasn't the only fur in NC. I can thank any of you enough, especially my wonderful Ketchara
Bah, I could ramble on for many a pages here but I'll cut it off at the knees.
Thank you furries one and all.
That art challenge was fun in concept but I'm not confident enough in my art skills yet to really tackle something that strenuous. Ah well, I am still arting off and on with the positive influence of my mate and the wonderful NC furs that go to the weekly Art Jam (though more often than not we chat and consume mall food than draw anything).
But I digress.
FWA 2013 was awesome. As you can see I got a badge finally commissioned at a con and am working on doing some drawing of my own fursona. I dont really feel like i can claim the look till i can draw myself. Being able to do that consistently will be a major boon to my art-esteem.
I've met many wonderful furs over the past two years or so since i discovered I wasn't the only fur in NC. I can thank any of you enough, especially my wonderful Ketchara
Bah, I could ramble on for many a pages here but I'll cut it off at the knees.
Thank you furries one and all.
Art Challenge
Posted 13 years agoWell, in the real of being artwork, I've been rather lazy lately. A good piece of advice I heard from an artist was to draw SOMETHING every day. That's one of the best ways to get better at art.
So in this interest, my mate Ketchara and I endeavor to try and do 30 days of art. We will be using a little list of inspirational words or phrases for each day and will draw something inspired by it. anything goes. whether rough sketch or finished piece, the goal is to do something drawing wise for the day.
So, Heregoes!
We'll try to upload what we do everyday... though that may get delayed based on availability of a scanner or art pad.
Word List:
Water http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8158414/ http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8158481/
Music
Sick
Happy
*free draw*
Depressed
Candy
Mischevious
Suspicious
*free draw*
Curious
Ride
Bite
Fly
*free draw*
Fall
Flirt
Fail
Scream
*free draw*
Dirt
Fire
Fear
Stare
*free draw*
Illusion
Tasty
Friends
Love
*free draw*
Update: Now that we've started posting the art, I will say that anything I dont feel fits on the main page, WIPs and such, will be moved to scraps after the next one or two pieces are uploaded.
I'll be updating this journal to keep track of and link to each one.
So in this interest, my mate
Ketchara and I endeavor to try and do 30 days of art. We will be using a little list of inspirational words or phrases for each day and will draw something inspired by it. anything goes. whether rough sketch or finished piece, the goal is to do something drawing wise for the day.So, Heregoes!
We'll try to upload what we do everyday... though that may get delayed based on availability of a scanner or art pad.
Word List:
Music
Sick
Happy
*free draw*
Depressed
Candy
Mischevious
Suspicious
*free draw*
Curious
Ride
Bite
Fly
*free draw*
Fall
Flirt
Fail
Scream
*free draw*
Dirt
Fire
Fear
Stare
*free draw*
Illusion
Tasty
Friends
Love
*free draw*
Update: Now that we've started posting the art, I will say that anything I dont feel fits on the main page, WIPs and such, will be moved to scraps after the next one or two pieces are uploaded.
I'll be updating this journal to keep track of and link to each one.
Living and getting by, now employed!
Posted 13 years agoI am finally employed! that is ONE reason you haven't heard or seen much of me lately.
I recently was hired part time, working around my class schedule to fill in a sales/IT/whatever role with a very small pharmaceutics business. Let me know if you need any Over The Counter supplies!
Anyway, I'm still trying to be active in the local furry groups and such and do get to art once in a while, just haven't had the time to sit down and art at the PC.
Aside from all that, classes are going well for the most part. Still cant afford books and online access to do some of my homework yet, so that's impacting things negatively, but I cant really help it.
On another note. Anyone else seen "The Grey" yet?
I recently was hired part time, working around my class schedule to fill in a sales/IT/whatever role with a very small pharmaceutics business. Let me know if you need any Over The Counter supplies!
Anyway, I'm still trying to be active in the local furry groups and such and do get to art once in a while, just haven't had the time to sit down and art at the PC.
Aside from all that, classes are going well for the most part. Still cant afford books and online access to do some of my homework yet, so that's impacting things negatively, but I cant really help it.
On another note. Anyone else seen "The Grey" yet?
An update and a Birthday!
Posted 14 years agoHey all!
Thing have gotten hectic lately as I started back into classes for the spring semester... I got in alright, but my fuckup last semester has me scrambling to find a way to get my $700 worth of textbooks absolutely necessary for me to keep up with and pass my classes. Each one is launching so fast and hard into the content that it isn't funny.
This is going to be a wild ride this semester.
On a better note, Please go wish
FarelleMoon a happy and wonderful birthday!
I know things between us have gone from wonderful to detached and rough over the last few months.... but she is still a wonderful person and deserves much from this world.
This is a very special day for her and everyone who has had the luck and pleasure to get to know her. Her perspective on the world is a wonderfully refreshing and unique view and has always challenged me to consider the mundane as well as the unique in ways I had never thought of. =3
oh, and she is a damn good artist/cartoonist. (she actually went to school for it, so she's one of the few I trust to know about art and to listen to for advice.)
Thing have gotten hectic lately as I started back into classes for the spring semester... I got in alright, but my fuckup last semester has me scrambling to find a way to get my $700 worth of textbooks absolutely necessary for me to keep up with and pass my classes. Each one is launching so fast and hard into the content that it isn't funny.
This is going to be a wild ride this semester.
On a better note, Please go wish
FarelleMoon a happy and wonderful birthday!I know things between us have gone from wonderful to detached and rough over the last few months.... but she is still a wonderful person and deserves much from this world.
This is a very special day for her and everyone who has had the luck and pleasure to get to know her. Her perspective on the world is a wonderfully refreshing and unique view and has always challenged me to consider the mundane as well as the unique in ways I had never thought of. =3
oh, and she is a damn good artist/cartoonist. (she actually went to school for it, so she's one of the few I trust to know about art and to listen to for advice.)
Thank you everyone and a status update
Posted 14 years agoJust wanted to let everyone know that I'm ok, and to give all of you a very big THANK YOU!
Your comments, texts, and calls helped me through some of the darkest time's I've had in a very long time.
I'm still not out of the woods by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm at least up and moving now.
I wish everyone the best and I'll try to get back to being my normal deviously social self as soon as I can .
Till then,
~Merc
Edit:
How I feel at the moment and am trying to suppress and control it.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6279440/
Like I want to tear something apart.
If I start aiming for you, please either walk away or someone intervene.
Your comments, texts, and calls helped me through some of the darkest time's I've had in a very long time.
I'm still not out of the woods by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm at least up and moving now.
I wish everyone the best and I'll try to get back to being my normal deviously social self as soon as I can .
Till then,
~Merc
Edit:
How I feel at the moment and am trying to suppress and control it.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6279440/
Like I want to tear something apart.
If I start aiming for you, please either walk away or someone intervene.
Broken and disconnected
Posted 14 years agoThe merc is broken at the moment and will be disconnected till further notice.
~The management.
~The management.
Fuck You photoshop
Posted 14 years agoSeriously, fuck you.
I manage to finally work through my damn art block with something emotional and you AGAIN decide to crash RIGHT after i finish my base sketch and am literally pressing the Ctrl S.....
What the hell?
Fuck it, I'm doing the damn thing again.
I manage to finally work through my damn art block with something emotional and you AGAIN decide to crash RIGHT after i finish my base sketch and am literally pressing the Ctrl S.....
What the hell?
Fuck it, I'm doing the damn thing again.
Art block and sick
Posted 14 years agoHey all, I haven't quite died yet. Just have hit a bit of an art block where I cant seem to put anything down. Is it weird that I'm happy to have hit this? Now I can systematically try things to kickstart it again?
Either way, I'm not going to push it while I'm finishing the stress of exams and also dealing with apparently being sick. woke up today with a 100.7 fever and have been fighting it all day.
Not fun to test with a fever...
and now I need to get ready and go do some welding tonight while feeling like this. Blech.
-_-
No one can say that I don't get stuff done, especially since I still do tough stuff like welding while I'm out of it. I would call out and such if I could, but we're finishing our last two nights and I have to wrap up my current assignment.
Either way, I'm not going to push it while I'm finishing the stress of exams and also dealing with apparently being sick. woke up today with a 100.7 fever and have been fighting it all day.
Not fun to test with a fever...
and now I need to get ready and go do some welding tonight while feeling like this. Blech.
-_-
No one can say that I don't get stuff done, especially since I still do tough stuff like welding while I'm out of it. I would call out and such if I could, but we're finishing our last two nights and I have to wrap up my current assignment.
Grrarrr! art bug and photoshop crashes
Posted 14 years agoEver have the bug just bite and you're jamming out some art?... and then after you finally nail it down from several layers of building sketches (yes I'm still new to drawing) and you are just getting going on the final lines...
and then suddenly everything freezes and photoshop crashes, literally just as you decide to save 'just in case'?
I feel like pounding something into pieces right about now. That was an awesome piece coming together.
Thanks Wacom drivers that screwed up photoshop and caused it to crash.
Cursword, explitive, growl.
Edit: after calming down... I guess my only sliver lining is that I'm getting 'Practice' >=(
Still... F'itall. I'm going to bury my head under a pillow for the rest of the night.
and then suddenly everything freezes and photoshop crashes, literally just as you decide to save 'just in case'?
I feel like pounding something into pieces right about now. That was an awesome piece coming together.
Thanks Wacom drivers that screwed up photoshop and caused it to crash.
Cursword, explitive, growl.
Edit: after calming down... I guess my only sliver lining is that I'm getting 'Practice' >=(
Still... F'itall. I'm going to bury my head under a pillow for the rest of the night.
FA 'groups'
Posted 14 years agoHey everyone. I have stared to see the value in having the supposed 'group' accounts where you can use their icon on you profile to show things about yourself.
Does anyone know of one for Eagle Scouts?
I found one for scouting, but am just curious about eagle scout furs because I have met a lot of awesome furs who also just happen to be eagle scouts as well!
On that note, what groups do you use or have seen?
Does anyone know of one for Eagle Scouts?
I found one for scouting, but am just curious about eagle scout furs because I have met a lot of awesome furs who also just happen to be eagle scouts as well!
On that note, what groups do you use or have seen?
A Wonderful Birthday. Thank you everyone!
Posted 14 years agoWow, Just Wow!
So far, building up over the holiday weekend, this has been the best birthday I have had in years. My family has gone far out of their way to make damn sure that I'm happy. My friends have been there for me and, despite the usual upsets of life, all genuinely wish me the best and love my company.
The person of whom I have fallen for romantically since July has become one of the best friends I could ask for, despite the rocky situation our disconnected relationship stands on currently. There's a lot of story there and I'm sure things will work out somehow in the end. Even if that is a "Take over the world" friendship and business partnership. XD
She posted an awesome art gift for my birthday, of which I have shared in my gallery, and a wonderfully worded and kind journal. Please read it and give her my thanks here:
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2950262/
To Eric and Tanya, my foxxy family. Than you for being there for me and including me so deeply in your lives. I am grateful to you and happy to be part of your family. I'll start using my real-estate training to look for houses soon. XD I'm looking forward to the future with you two.
To Dingra, things will work out and just remember that life is great and your big kitty will be there if you need protection and support. I hope you find what you want out of life and you are able to be with your mate someday soon.
To Ark, I hope you heal up well and continue finding what it s you want out of life. The school situation may look bad now, but you'll find a way. Just want to also say you are one heck of a devious and cuddly feline.
To Sara, I hope you get better soon and I look forward to hanging out and relaxing with you, Kia, and Little bit sometime soon. If I can, I'll get away today and visit to take care of you before my evening class. Keep looking up and pushing because life gets better. Thank you for being the one person I think can understand as well as you do. In such a short time you have become a wonderful friend.
To Mikey, the wonderful furhag. XD I'm glad I've gotten to know you and look forward to a lot more talking about life. You've affected my life in unique ways and given me perspective on life I had been shaky on accepting. You just need to move up to Raleigh already! and about that internet...
To Kiki, I hope you find everything you want in Zero as a mate, and remember to work on yourself and work hard to be the strong and amazing person I know you will be in the future. Always remember compassion and understanding, along with a little hard love, make a world of difference in a relationship. Thank you for being my friend and talking with so consistently!
... wow I've got a lot of people to thank X3
To James, thank you for opening up to me and relating to me so well. I'm sure that you and I are going to become awesome friends given half a chance. Feel free to chat me up and just talk about things going on in your life, I may surprise you with how much I can relate. ... If you ever want to know what was so awesome about that drunken conversation, just ask! X3
To Coren, you devious and dangerous feline. God, you and me together are actually going to end the world someday with our mad schemes and devices. You sir are dangerous and awesome with building the wildest of things. I'm glad to have met you and to be able to call you my friend.
To my GM and the fun little RP group on Thursday afternoons, thank you for providing a much needed escape from reality. You are wonderful people and I look forward to every Thursday now.
To Ruko, Marbles, Kofu, Heidi, Casey, Red, Leo (and fam), ManedCorgi, Rose, and all the multitude of other wonderful furries in the Triangle and across NC, thank you for making me feel so welcomed and a part of something so big! I'm looking forward eagerly to the meets in the future, the parties that inevitably follow, and getting to know you better!
To my personal friends:
To Hurley, Thank you for being such an integral part of my life. Your candor and view on life, though you may feel it is lacking, is a wonderful thing to have and share. Believe me that life will get better and that you will find someone to share it with. You are to awesome of a person to have things go any differently. I'll be there for you whether you need me or not.
To Flippy, Wow... what to say. Thank you for being one of the best friends I've ever had. From middleschool, through scouts, and being a stable force in my life. Even when the armed forces fucked you over and you dealt with so much, you were still one of the most amazingly stable persons I know. I think I learned a lot of that from you. Thank you for providing me that special dry riveraized humor that makes the entire world into one big pun.
To Joey, Sherry, and Amber. You three have brought me into your family and shared so much with me. You have really made me feel belonged and loved, something that I do not take lightly. I hope I can make you all proud and continue to be a part of your lives.
To Ezra/Charlie, my once feline brother, thank you for being the closest thing I've had to a brother during a rough time in my life. I haven't had a chance to be close to you over the last few years, but I hope we can reconnect. I hope you are doing well.
To Jack, Halo, Zen, Rico, Umbra, Spinal Tap (happy birthday to you too, by the way), Heidi, Fluke, the members of SG-12, Xtreme Kombat, the old members of The FireWolves, T.E.A.M, TAG, and to the rest of the wonderful airsofters in NC and that I played with at OP IRENE. Thank you for being a driving force in my view of the world. All those times we played honorably, parlayed, laughed about a kill, and told each other stories over the ammo cans or a camp fire. Thank you for showing me what honor and courage means in armed services and protecting those you care about, even if the people you protect have no idea who you are.
To my family, both close and afar, thank you for being understanding, supportive, and loving. I have never experienced a cross word or condemnation from you and that has given me the support I have needed to work hard at making my life as positive as it is. And let me assure you, my life is insanely positive and happy on my best days. My worst days I am still able to find the silver lining and to weave that into something to be thankful for.
In many ways in my life, I stand on a proverbial cliff both in my life situation and emotionally. In a lot of ways this is dangerous and a problem... but thanks to everyone in my life I am able to stand steady and enjoy the wonderful wind, sunlight, and feeling of being on top of the world.
Thank you to everyone in my inner circle. haha, there are a lot of you and I need to get hats made. XD
Thank you to everyone who called me their friend. It means a lot to me and I will be there if you need something.
Thank you to everyone who has shown me kindness and understanding, or a simple warm and affectionate greeting when you did not know me.
Thank you to those of whom I have and still do love. You have been a major part in helping me become the person I am today and I thank you for all of the time and care you have given me. I can only hope I have been such a force in your life as well.
Cheers and thank you for each day being the best day of my life, everyone.
So far, building up over the holiday weekend, this has been the best birthday I have had in years. My family has gone far out of their way to make damn sure that I'm happy. My friends have been there for me and, despite the usual upsets of life, all genuinely wish me the best and love my company.
The person of whom I have fallen for romantically since July has become one of the best friends I could ask for, despite the rocky situation our disconnected relationship stands on currently. There's a lot of story there and I'm sure things will work out somehow in the end. Even if that is a "Take over the world" friendship and business partnership. XD
She posted an awesome art gift for my birthday, of which I have shared in my gallery, and a wonderfully worded and kind journal. Please read it and give her my thanks here:
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2950262/
To Eric and Tanya, my foxxy family. Than you for being there for me and including me so deeply in your lives. I am grateful to you and happy to be part of your family. I'll start using my real-estate training to look for houses soon. XD I'm looking forward to the future with you two.
To Dingra, things will work out and just remember that life is great and your big kitty will be there if you need protection and support. I hope you find what you want out of life and you are able to be with your mate someday soon.
To Ark, I hope you heal up well and continue finding what it s you want out of life. The school situation may look bad now, but you'll find a way. Just want to also say you are one heck of a devious and cuddly feline.
To Sara, I hope you get better soon and I look forward to hanging out and relaxing with you, Kia, and Little bit sometime soon. If I can, I'll get away today and visit to take care of you before my evening class. Keep looking up and pushing because life gets better. Thank you for being the one person I think can understand as well as you do. In such a short time you have become a wonderful friend.
To Mikey, the wonderful furhag. XD I'm glad I've gotten to know you and look forward to a lot more talking about life. You've affected my life in unique ways and given me perspective on life I had been shaky on accepting. You just need to move up to Raleigh already! and about that internet...
To Kiki, I hope you find everything you want in Zero as a mate, and remember to work on yourself and work hard to be the strong and amazing person I know you will be in the future. Always remember compassion and understanding, along with a little hard love, make a world of difference in a relationship. Thank you for being my friend and talking with so consistently!
... wow I've got a lot of people to thank X3
To James, thank you for opening up to me and relating to me so well. I'm sure that you and I are going to become awesome friends given half a chance. Feel free to chat me up and just talk about things going on in your life, I may surprise you with how much I can relate. ... If you ever want to know what was so awesome about that drunken conversation, just ask! X3
To Coren, you devious and dangerous feline. God, you and me together are actually going to end the world someday with our mad schemes and devices. You sir are dangerous and awesome with building the wildest of things. I'm glad to have met you and to be able to call you my friend.
To my GM and the fun little RP group on Thursday afternoons, thank you for providing a much needed escape from reality. You are wonderful people and I look forward to every Thursday now.
To Ruko, Marbles, Kofu, Heidi, Casey, Red, Leo (and fam), ManedCorgi, Rose, and all the multitude of other wonderful furries in the Triangle and across NC, thank you for making me feel so welcomed and a part of something so big! I'm looking forward eagerly to the meets in the future, the parties that inevitably follow, and getting to know you better!
To my personal friends:
To Hurley, Thank you for being such an integral part of my life. Your candor and view on life, though you may feel it is lacking, is a wonderful thing to have and share. Believe me that life will get better and that you will find someone to share it with. You are to awesome of a person to have things go any differently. I'll be there for you whether you need me or not.
To Flippy, Wow... what to say. Thank you for being one of the best friends I've ever had. From middleschool, through scouts, and being a stable force in my life. Even when the armed forces fucked you over and you dealt with so much, you were still one of the most amazingly stable persons I know. I think I learned a lot of that from you. Thank you for providing me that special dry riveraized humor that makes the entire world into one big pun.
To Joey, Sherry, and Amber. You three have brought me into your family and shared so much with me. You have really made me feel belonged and loved, something that I do not take lightly. I hope I can make you all proud and continue to be a part of your lives.
To Ezra/Charlie, my once feline brother, thank you for being the closest thing I've had to a brother during a rough time in my life. I haven't had a chance to be close to you over the last few years, but I hope we can reconnect. I hope you are doing well.
To Jack, Halo, Zen, Rico, Umbra, Spinal Tap (happy birthday to you too, by the way), Heidi, Fluke, the members of SG-12, Xtreme Kombat, the old members of The FireWolves, T.E.A.M, TAG, and to the rest of the wonderful airsofters in NC and that I played with at OP IRENE. Thank you for being a driving force in my view of the world. All those times we played honorably, parlayed, laughed about a kill, and told each other stories over the ammo cans or a camp fire. Thank you for showing me what honor and courage means in armed services and protecting those you care about, even if the people you protect have no idea who you are.
To my family, both close and afar, thank you for being understanding, supportive, and loving. I have never experienced a cross word or condemnation from you and that has given me the support I have needed to work hard at making my life as positive as it is. And let me assure you, my life is insanely positive and happy on my best days. My worst days I am still able to find the silver lining and to weave that into something to be thankful for.
In many ways in my life, I stand on a proverbial cliff both in my life situation and emotionally. In a lot of ways this is dangerous and a problem... but thanks to everyone in my life I am able to stand steady and enjoy the wonderful wind, sunlight, and feeling of being on top of the world.
Thank you to everyone in my inner circle. haha, there are a lot of you and I need to get hats made. XD
Thank you to everyone who called me their friend. It means a lot to me and I will be there if you need something.
Thank you to everyone who has shown me kindness and understanding, or a simple warm and affectionate greeting when you did not know me.
Thank you to those of whom I have and still do love. You have been a major part in helping me become the person I am today and I thank you for all of the time and care you have given me. I can only hope I have been such a force in your life as well.
Cheers and thank you for each day being the best day of my life, everyone.
Is this random?
Posted 14 years agoI was discussing some family stuff downstairs with, you guessed it, the family when I suddenly glanced at the TV to see two women, one youngish, maybe a young mother, and what is likely her own mother, an elderly lady. They are both standing in a framed bust shot from the sternum up and talking to each other like they were girlchatting. They were dressed appropriate to the black and white movie from the 1930s and the background had a bustling market or midway out of focus.
Then suddenly the younger woman looks forward just past the camera and raises a 38 special revolver like it is nothing special, pauses to take aim, asks a question of her 'mother... Her mother looks over her shoulder and comments... and she fires!
The next moment she has the gun lowered to the edge of the screen and is smiling and happily chatting away again.
D8
XD
All I could do was crack up in the middle of a serious conversation and roll around. It was muted keep in mind, so my mind was just absently trying to do a little MST3K while I paid most of my attention to the family conversation. At least it was up until she whips out a revolver and just ends someone like it's part of sunday brunch!
Now what do you think they were saying? MST3K it people!
I think I may draw this out.
---
On a side note. For entirely corny reasons, I need a black hooded cape with a silver lining. =3
Then suddenly the younger woman looks forward just past the camera and raises a 38 special revolver like it is nothing special, pauses to take aim, asks a question of her 'mother... Her mother looks over her shoulder and comments... and she fires!
The next moment she has the gun lowered to the edge of the screen and is smiling and happily chatting away again.
D8
XD
All I could do was crack up in the middle of a serious conversation and roll around. It was muted keep in mind, so my mind was just absently trying to do a little MST3K while I paid most of my attention to the family conversation. At least it was up until she whips out a revolver and just ends someone like it's part of sunday brunch!
Now what do you think they were saying? MST3K it people!
I think I may draw this out.
---
On a side note. For entirely corny reasons, I need a black hooded cape with a silver lining. =3
YAY for mental shifting, good friends, and a Birthday!
Posted 14 years agoI've been working through a lot of things emotionally and dealing with the causes of them as best as I can be during the last few months. Today I woke up determined to be numb to the negative thoughts in my mind and to make this a positive day.
Determination is a powerful thing.
I ended up working through some of my negative emotions by starting a picture and listening to music. That was extremely cathartic. Then I worked on the Jeep with my dad and made sure it would be road worthy for at least a few more weeks before we plan to replace the factory battery.
After that I picked up
Dingra and went over to the den of 
ShogunFox and his wonderful mate, all of who'me I've become rather close to since diving ears first into the local furs. We ate popcorn, watched a football game, and I was piled upon without warning!
I had to leave to go home for my family to celebrate my birthday a day early with cake and gifts, I wont be home from 8AM till around 11PM tomorrow thanks to school. >=P With this news the pile became a grappling match as they all tried to keep me from leaving. XD
Anyway, enjoyed ice cream cake and gifts with the family and.... wow. That was the best birthday I have spent with my family in years. I know I was living on my own and such for a long time and they just now have me back, but wow...
Anyway. I'm in a very good mood now and looking forward to jamming out tonight with some new headphones. >=3 The awesome kind.
I'll be up on Skype and happy to chat with anyone if you are looking for company. Just be forewarned that I tend to about face any Debby Downers and forcibly improve your mood.
Determination is a powerful thing.
I ended up working through some of my negative emotions by starting a picture and listening to music. That was extremely cathartic. Then I worked on the Jeep with my dad and made sure it would be road worthy for at least a few more weeks before we plan to replace the factory battery.
After that I picked up
Dingra and went over to the den of 
ShogunFox and his wonderful mate, all of who'me I've become rather close to since diving ears first into the local furs. We ate popcorn, watched a football game, and I was piled upon without warning!I had to leave to go home for my family to celebrate my birthday a day early with cake and gifts, I wont be home from 8AM till around 11PM tomorrow thanks to school. >=P With this news the pile became a grappling match as they all tried to keep me from leaving. XD
Anyway, enjoyed ice cream cake and gifts with the family and.... wow. That was the best birthday I have spent with my family in years. I know I was living on my own and such for a long time and they just now have me back, but wow...
Anyway. I'm in a very good mood now and looking forward to jamming out tonight with some new headphones. >=3 The awesome kind.
I'll be up on Skype and happy to chat with anyone if you are looking for company. Just be forewarned that I tend to about face any Debby Downers and forcibly improve your mood.
Sleep
Posted 14 years agoTwo nights without sleep, passed out for 3 hours during the middle of the day and screwed up by missing an important lunch with an old friend...
Spent 5 hours in the ER as the ambulance driver for a friend and her mate, then watched a movie and went home. Took me till then to realize I hadn't eaten in about 26 hours.
Spent a little time online with good friends and then tried to sleep. Even took a melatonin supplement and sketched till it took effect.
Dropped off easily, only to wake up every single hour with a vivid nightmare.
The last one I just couldn't go back to sleep from.
yeah.... something is wrong.
Spent 5 hours in the ER as the ambulance driver for a friend and her mate, then watched a movie and went home. Took me till then to realize I hadn't eaten in about 26 hours.
Spent a little time online with good friends and then tried to sleep. Even took a melatonin supplement and sketched till it took effect.
Dropped off easily, only to wake up every single hour with a vivid nightmare.
The last one I just couldn't go back to sleep from.
yeah.... something is wrong.
Fck it day
Posted 14 years agoIts barely into the afternoon and I'm feeling like this entire day I'm just doomed to be misunderstood when I open my mouth. Apparently I just cant get the point across today without making things into something negative that they are not.
Fck it. I'm going to make a nice lunch, sit down and watch something amusing, then I might draw some just for the hell of doing it.
I'm not going to deal with social ineptitude today by pushing the matter. I'm going to have freaking fun with something else.
Fck it. I'm going to make a nice lunch, sit down and watch something amusing, then I might draw some just for the hell of doing it.
I'm not going to deal with social ineptitude today by pushing the matter. I'm going to have freaking fun with something else.
About Me Meme.
Posted 14 years agoBorrowed/stolen from 
[ ] I am shorter than 5'4.
[ ] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[ ] I have many scars.
[ ] I tan easily.
[x] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo. (That will be fixed sometime soon!)
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance. (But not in a bad way!)
[x] I have/I've had braces.
[ ] I wear glasses.
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[ ] I have more than 2 piercings.
[ ] I have piercing in places besides my ears.
[x] I have freckles. (maybe?)
FAMILY/HOME LIFE
[X] I've sworn at my parents.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house
[x] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I have a child.
[ ] I've lost a child.
SCHOOL/WORK
[x] I'm in school.
[ ] I have a job. (Anyone have any good leads?)
[x] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[ ] I almost always do my homework.
[x] I've missed a week or more of school.
[x] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[?] I've stolen something from my job. (Yes and no)
[x] I've been fired. ("Terminated" for lack of being a female)
EMBARRASSMENT
[x] I've slipped out an "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[X] Disney movies still make me cry.
[x] I've peed from laughing.
[ ] I've snorted while laughing. (actually never have... dunno why)
[X] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[x] I've glued my hand to something. (I'm a Mr. Fixit who loves Tim the toolman Taylor...)
[x] I've had my pants rip in pubic. (Scouting, nuff said)
HEALTH
[x] I was born with a disease/impairment. (jaundice when I was first born, nothing major)
[X] I've gotten stitches/staples.
[ ] I've broken a bone. (not yet!)
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[x] I've sat in a doctor's office/emergency room with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I've had a serious surgery.
TRAVEL
[x] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[X] I've been on a plane.
[ ] I've been to Canada.
[ ] I've been to Mexico.
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan. (again, something to fix soon)
[ ] I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.
EXPERIENCES
[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[x] I've seen a shooting star.
[x] I've wished on a shooting star.
[x] I've seen a meteor shower.
[X] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[ ] I've kicked a guy where it hurts
[x] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[x] I've gone skinny dipping.
[x] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ ] I've crashed a car. (does crashed mean totaled? It still runs great!)
[x] I've been in a play.
[ ] I've met someone in person from myspace. (never DID myspace...)
[X] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern lights.
[x] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[x] I've played chicken.
[X] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[x] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I've eaten sushi. (kitty likes sushi!)
[x] I've been snowboarding. (failed horribly but want to try again)
RELATIONSHIPS
[ ] I'm single.
[X] I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[x] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[ ] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've gotten divorced.
[X] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[ ] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[x] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[x] I've kept something from a past relationship. (like an object? of course I have.)
SEXUALITY
[x] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[x] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I am a cuddler.
[x] I've been kissed in the rain. (one of my favorite memories. In the jeep in the rain)
[x] I've hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.
HONESTY
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[ ] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[x] I've snuck out of my house.
[X] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[ ] I've cheated on a test.
[x] I've run a red light. *bangs fist on roof* (damn, bankrupt) XD
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[x] I've witnessed a crime.
[ ] I've been in a fist fight. (I've been close, but not struck back due to being at school)
[ ] I've been arrested. (nearly, but got out of it each of the 5 times)
DRUGS/ALCOHOL
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I regularly drink.
[ ] I've passed out from drinking. (damnit, I'm not a cheap date)
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[ ] I've smoked weed
[ ] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[ ] I've eaten shrooms.
[ ] I've popped E.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[ ] I've done hard drugs.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[ ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[ ] I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I'm anorexic or bulimic.
[x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[ ] I've hurt myself on purpose. =/ though I have hurt myself in anger.
[x] I've woken up crying.
DEATH
[ ] I'm afraid of dying. (now that was a big shift for me over the last few years...)
[ ] I hate funerals. (they have an important purpose and have nothing to do with the death itself)
[ ] I've seen someone dying. (close calls, but no deaths yet)
[x] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[x] Someone close to me has committed suicide. (i'll admit i choked up here, RIP)
[ ] I've planned my own suicide. [b}Never going to be an option.[/b]
[ ] I've attempted suicide.
[x] I've written a eulogy for myself. (creative writing class, I swear!) =P
MATERIALISM
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 player. (Apples are for eating)
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga. (Recovering animeholic)
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[x] I own something from Hot Topic.
[ ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[x] I collect comic books. (Sonic FTW!)
[ ] I own something from The Gap.
[x] I own something I got on e-bay.
[x] I own something from Abercrombie.
RANDOM
[x] I can sing well. (when I overcome my intimidation and let loose)
[ ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant. (Oh god, so tempted to...)
[x] I open up to others easily.
[ ] I watch the news.
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[x] I curse regularly. (I have my moments... driving... shooting... GAMING, just ask Farelle)
[ ] I sing in the shower.
[ ] I am a morning person.
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[ ] I'm a snob about grammar.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I twirl my hair.
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[ ] I love being neat.
[x] I love Spam (you go backpacking for a week and tell me what your favorite is)
[x] I've copied over 30 CDs in a day (personal collection, thank you very much)
[x] I bake well.
[ ] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue. (silver?)
[x] I've worn pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[x] I know how to shoot a gun. (and teach it too)
[x] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE
[x] I laugh at my own jokes.
[x] I eat fast food weekly. (Trying to change that!)
[x] I believe in ghosts.
[ ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message. (not that you know of...)
[x] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class. (Yes, I am this awesome)
[ ]I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room. (psssshhh, please)
[-] I am really ticklish. *grins* (you'll just have to find out)
[x] I love white chocolate.
[ ] I bite my nails. Recovered!
[x] I play video games.
[x] I'm good at remembering faces
[ ] I'm good at remembering names.
[ ] I'm good at remembering dates.
[ ] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. (I have this in the bag)
That was... interesting. Good and bad moments.
I'm tempted to tag people and see if this one takes off, but its such a long meme!
So take this as Voluntary!
Farellemoon
CorenTiger
kikiohater
flyingfire
mephiz
HeiditheWolf
Kofu
[ ] I am shorter than 5'4.
[ ] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[ ] I have many scars.
[ ] I tan easily.
[x] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo. (That will be fixed sometime soon!)
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance. (But not in a bad way!)
[x] I have/I've had braces.
[ ] I wear glasses.
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[ ] I have more than 2 piercings.
[ ] I have piercing in places besides my ears.
[x] I have freckles. (maybe?)
FAMILY/HOME LIFE
[X] I've sworn at my parents.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house
[x] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I have a child.
[ ] I've lost a child.
SCHOOL/WORK
[x] I'm in school.
[ ] I have a job. (Anyone have any good leads?)
[x] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[ ] I almost always do my homework.
[x] I've missed a week or more of school.
[x] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[?] I've stolen something from my job. (Yes and no)
[x] I've been fired. ("Terminated" for lack of being a female)
EMBARRASSMENT
[x] I've slipped out an "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[X] Disney movies still make me cry.
[x] I've peed from laughing.
[ ] I've snorted while laughing. (actually never have... dunno why)
[X] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[x] I've glued my hand to something. (I'm a Mr. Fixit who loves Tim the toolman Taylor...)
[x] I've had my pants rip in pubic. (Scouting, nuff said)
HEALTH
[x] I was born with a disease/impairment. (jaundice when I was first born, nothing major)
[X] I've gotten stitches/staples.
[ ] I've broken a bone. (not yet!)
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[x] I've sat in a doctor's office/emergency room with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I've had a serious surgery.
TRAVEL
[x] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[X] I've been on a plane.
[ ] I've been to Canada.
[ ] I've been to Mexico.
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan. (again, something to fix soon)
[ ] I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.
EXPERIENCES
[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[x] I've seen a shooting star.
[x] I've wished on a shooting star.
[x] I've seen a meteor shower.
[X] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[ ] I've kicked a guy where it hurts
[x] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[x] I've gone skinny dipping.
[x] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ ] I've crashed a car. (does crashed mean totaled? It still runs great!)
[x] I've been in a play.
[ ] I've met someone in person from myspace. (never DID myspace...)
[X] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern lights.
[x] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[x] I've played chicken.
[X] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[x] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I've eaten sushi. (kitty likes sushi!)
[x] I've been snowboarding. (failed horribly but want to try again)
RELATIONSHIPS
[ ] I'm single.
[X] I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[x] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[ ] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've gotten divorced.
[X] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[ ] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[x] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[x] I've kept something from a past relationship. (like an object? of course I have.)
SEXUALITY
[x] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[x] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I am a cuddler.
[x] I've been kissed in the rain. (one of my favorite memories. In the jeep in the rain)
[x] I've hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.
HONESTY
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[ ] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[x] I've snuck out of my house.
[X] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[ ] I've cheated on a test.
[x] I've run a red light. *bangs fist on roof* (damn, bankrupt) XD
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[x] I've witnessed a crime.
[ ] I've been in a fist fight. (I've been close, but not struck back due to being at school)
[ ] I've been arrested. (nearly, but got out of it each of the 5 times)
DRUGS/ALCOHOL
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I regularly drink.
[ ] I've passed out from drinking. (damnit, I'm not a cheap date)
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[ ] I've smoked weed
[ ] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[ ] I've eaten shrooms.
[ ] I've popped E.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[ ] I've done hard drugs.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[ ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[ ] I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I'm anorexic or bulimic.
[x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[ ] I've hurt myself on purpose. =/ though I have hurt myself in anger.
[x] I've woken up crying.
DEATH
[ ] I'm afraid of dying. (now that was a big shift for me over the last few years...)
[ ] I hate funerals. (they have an important purpose and have nothing to do with the death itself)
[ ] I've seen someone dying. (close calls, but no deaths yet)
[x] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[x] Someone close to me has committed suicide. (i'll admit i choked up here, RIP)
[ ] I've planned my own suicide. [b}Never going to be an option.[/b]
[ ] I've attempted suicide.
[x] I've written a eulogy for myself. (creative writing class, I swear!) =P
MATERIALISM
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 player. (Apples are for eating)
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga. (Recovering animeholic)
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[x] I own something from Hot Topic.
[ ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[x] I collect comic books. (Sonic FTW!)
[ ] I own something from The Gap.
[x] I own something I got on e-bay.
[x] I own something from Abercrombie.
RANDOM
[x] I can sing well. (when I overcome my intimidation and let loose)
[ ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant. (Oh god, so tempted to...)
[x] I open up to others easily.
[ ] I watch the news.
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[x] I curse regularly. (I have my moments... driving... shooting... GAMING, just ask Farelle)
[ ] I sing in the shower.
[ ] I am a morning person.
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[ ] I'm a snob about grammar.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I twirl my hair.
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[ ] I love being neat.
[x] I love Spam (you go backpacking for a week and tell me what your favorite is)
[x] I've copied over 30 CDs in a day (personal collection, thank you very much)
[x] I bake well.
[ ] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue. (silver?)
[x] I've worn pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[x] I know how to shoot a gun. (and teach it too)
[x] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE
[x] I laugh at my own jokes.
[x] I eat fast food weekly. (Trying to change that!)
[x] I believe in ghosts.
[ ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message. (not that you know of...)
[x] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class. (Yes, I am this awesome)
[ ]I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room. (psssshhh, please)
[-] I am really ticklish. *grins* (you'll just have to find out)
[x] I love white chocolate.
[ ] I bite my nails. Recovered!
[x] I play video games.
[x] I'm good at remembering faces
[ ] I'm good at remembering names.
[ ] I'm good at remembering dates.
[ ] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. (I have this in the bag)
That was... interesting. Good and bad moments.
I'm tempted to tag people and see if this one takes off, but its such a long meme!
So take this as Voluntary!
Farellemoon
CorenTiger
kikiohater
flyingfire
mephiz
HeiditheWolf
KofuArtsplode and the Triangle Thanksgiving Furmeet
Posted 14 years agoThanks to a very best friend, Flippy, I now have my gaming powerhouse desktop up and running after a year and a half with a fried motherboard! Today I decided to see if my old Wacom tablet still works (it does) and to see if I picked up any talent from being around so many artists over the years (especially with the immersion with such the great artist that is Farelle).
annd... wow! I actually ahd fun AND made some good progress on digital artage!
A sample of this is featured in my gallery for the moment, I will likely move it to scraps at some point soon. My gallery is for things I'm proud of, and right now, I'm proud of eyeballs!
anyway. Had a blast at the Triangle Furry thanksgiving meet this afternoon. Got to run around with my camera and do the photografur thing with the suiters. It was AWESOME because the park we hold these at just re-opened from remodeling and had massive crowds of families and kids!
Have you ever seen a crowd of kids and good natured fursuiters in the same geographic location? It's amazing and OMFG Cute!
I got a few pictures (300 raw) that I'll sort through and share on my Flikr account. I'll put up a link when I have them up. (hopefully in the next few days)
Anyway. (repitition = tired merc) Thank you for reading, whoever may be interested to do-so. =3
annd... wow! I actually ahd fun AND made some good progress on digital artage!
A sample of this is featured in my gallery for the moment, I will likely move it to scraps at some point soon. My gallery is for things I'm proud of, and right now, I'm proud of eyeballs!
anyway. Had a blast at the Triangle Furry thanksgiving meet this afternoon. Got to run around with my camera and do the photografur thing with the suiters. It was AWESOME because the park we hold these at just re-opened from remodeling and had massive crowds of families and kids!
Have you ever seen a crowd of kids and good natured fursuiters in the same geographic location? It's amazing and OMFG Cute!
I got a few pictures (300 raw) that I'll sort through and share on my Flikr account. I'll put up a link when I have them up. (hopefully in the next few days)
Anyway. (repitition = tired merc) Thank you for reading, whoever may be interested to do-so. =3
the line
Posted 14 years agoIn many situations, there is a proverbial 'Line'. If we cross this line, we suffer consiquences and must make recompense.
However, as with many things in life, we usually have no idea where this line is.
Courage is having the ability to tread in the dark, when you do not know the way. Courage is what we need to expore with the threat of the line looming.
And sometimes, you'll never find the line unless you have the courage to cross it.
However, as with many things in life, we usually have no idea where this line is.
Courage is having the ability to tread in the dark, when you do not know the way. Courage is what we need to expore with the threat of the line looming.
And sometimes, you'll never find the line unless you have the courage to cross it.
NRS: The Toolkit
Posted 14 years agoWelcome to my first FA edition of "No Real Solution"
In this edition of NRS, I want to explore something I've been cogitating on for a while and see what comes of writing it out.
Again, as with the entire point behind NRS, this is my perspective on reality. I do not fault you if you would prefer to go Adam Savage on me and deny my reality, that's your life given right!
So without further Adieu:
The Toolkit:
I have what I would call a "Mental Toolkit".
With this tool kit, I am proud to say that I am amazingly stable both in personality, emotions, and logic. I have been relied upon and called 'dependable' by many people in my life.
Today, I want to work through this and analyze my mental toolkit for my own benefit. I post it here because it may benefit someone else, and that would be worth every moment I spend on this.
A mental toolkit is a very important thing to have. Indeed most people have one. However, like real tools, you must keep them cleaned, organized, and cared for. With disuse or misuse, these tools can fail you when you need them most.
The tools:
1) Curiosity:
Curiosity is an essential tool in my toolkit, and is organized as the most accessible, because it is possibly the best reaction to any situation I have ever encountered or expect to encounter. When something is dangerous, you inspect it cautiously till you understand it and can properly respect it. When something is fun, you explore it till you know why it is fun and how to share it with others. When something is just strange, you investigate it till you know what it is, what it means to you, and how you can use it.
2) Confidence:
Without confidence, you are unable to explore and be curious. You cannot discover new things about yourself and the wonderful world around you. The more you discover, the more your confidence strengthens and becomes a useful tool. Confidence is not the same as being foolhardy, there are thresholds you should not cross, but you can never know where those are without pushing your boundaries and using the confidence you have to gain more.
3) Courage:
As hard as it is to define, courage is a crucial tool in your mental toolkit. Where Confidence relies on what you know, Courage relies on the fact that what you don't know should never scare you. This is why Courage is such a sought after personality tool, because the most amazing people we know seem to have it in spades and never fear the unknown, they never let anything stop them from understanding.
4) The ability to listen without judgement:
This tool, despite it's long name, is essential not only for dealing with other people, but in dealing with yourself. When you think about yourself, your situation, or something internal, it is helpful to be able to listen to your own thoughts objectively and without condemnation. It helps you to prevent negative self-talk and to understand why you feel and react the way you do. It is necessary for working on an emotion within yourself without needing to resort to external council. Not to say that external council is a bad thing. In fact, that is my next tool.
5) Empathy:
This tool is one of my most precious. I am still not sure if it is a learn-able skill or solely innate, but it is undoubtedly one of my most well used tools. In essence, Empathy as my tool, is the ability to listen to, hear about, or imagine another individual in a particular situation and to be able to feel the emotions and think the thoughts they would likely feel and think. Of course this tool requires calibration and is most reliable when the individual is someone you know. The better you know them, the more accurate it is. The most challenging use of this tool, what I would call 'True' Empathy, is when you are able to completely feel and think with that person, without any interference from your own thoughts or emotions on the situation.\
6) Knowing when, how, and from whom to ask for help:
This is a difficult tool to find and keep in good condition because we seem to be of the social opinion that the most well adjusted individual never needs help. This is far from true! The most well adjusted and stable people I have ever known are actually some of the most helpless with everyday tasks. They have become adept at seeking help and are then able to make many close ties to good people. I will admit that this tool took me a long time to find and it is still a challenge for me to use it regularly.
7) Planning:
One of the things that I have found is a large mark of achievement in moving from adolescence to full adulthood is the ability to plan. This includes setting short-term, long-term, and tactical goals. There are so many opinions on the best way to plan that it is fairly evident that it is a hard won and very personal skill. When you find a method that works, use it and keep trying to improve it.
8) Strategic Paranoia:
This is one of my personal ones. I believe I recognized either the usefulness of paranoia when I was young, or recognized that it was going to be a part of my personality. Either way I have worked for years to develop this mental skill, so bear with me on this one.
Essentially, this tool allows me to conceptualize a situation or event within my mind, use True Empathy (#5), and understand exactly what I would feel, think, and do in that situation. I call this skill Paranoia because I usually focus it on negative or stressful situations.
However, like many powerful tools there is a danger or two you must keep a careful eye for when using it. The development of psychological/clinical paranoia is the often the fixation and worry over one particular situation or threat over a long period of time.
The second danger is that you MUST set a threshold. This threshold is there to let you consider a situation, realize that it is more stressful, depressing, or alarming than you are equipped to handle at the moment. If it is beyond that threshold you must acknowledge that it exists, has a possibility, and then store it away without further thought. This makes it so you are only dealing with the imminently possible and useful situations and preparing for them.
The usefulness of this mental tool in your toolkit is that you are able to rely on memory, and a quick 'double check' regarding it's appropriateness to the situation. If you can remember the situation and your responses, and you are able to verify it applies to your current situation, you are that much more emotionally and mentally prepared to deal with the situation.
I would like to caution you that this skill may only be useful for certain personalities. It is also extremely hard to develop and keep up with at times. It will also add a lot of stress to your everyday life where you should have no stress at all. The upside is that you will be better prepared and faster to respond to relatively extreme situations.
If you would like to know more about this, please feel free to ask me and we can discuss it.
9) Doubt:
Though this seems like a negative thing to keep in your mind, it is nonetheless a crucial tool. When someone you know only so well insists that they know what is best for you, doubt is a good tool to have. When you have an exciting or intoxicating idea, doubt is useful as a quick check and balance to make sure you are not doing something foolish. When you are depressed or in a bad mood, doubt is a good tool to help you remember that life is not always so bleak. My favorite saying to express this exact usefulness of Doubt is: "Take it with a grain of salt."
10) Wisdom:
One of the most fabled tools in any individuals mental toolkit is the one most easily lost. Wisdom is the understanding and appreciation that you yourself know so much. In it's duality, it also represents the acknowledgement and understanding that you yourself understand relatively little and are always needing to learn. It is also the understanding and expectation that what you do know, is possibly and often simply wrong. This is where Curiosity keeps Wisdom alive and well functioning, as when you fundamentally believe that you have more to learn and you are looking for those things that prove what you know wrong, you are able to actively seek wisdom. This tool is a compass of sorts because it is always pointing a direction, never telling you the destination.
In conclusion:
As in accordance with the final tool, Wisdom, this toolkit is never complete. The tools may be replaced with newer and better revisions, new tools may be discovered and added, and some tools can prove to be faulty. This is simply a fact of life.
So please let me know if you have an issue with anything I have put above, have input on something I missed, or have a question. I'm right here with you and just trying to work things out for myself. This mixed blessing of communication means that we can all hopefully benefit by communicating openly about what works and what doesn't when it comes to dealing with or simply understanding the things we encounter in this wonderful ride called life.
P.S.: I almost forgot. Don't forget your towel.
In this edition of NRS, I want to explore something I've been cogitating on for a while and see what comes of writing it out.
Again, as with the entire point behind NRS, this is my perspective on reality. I do not fault you if you would prefer to go Adam Savage on me and deny my reality, that's your life given right!
So without further Adieu:
The Toolkit:
I have what I would call a "Mental Toolkit".
With this tool kit, I am proud to say that I am amazingly stable both in personality, emotions, and logic. I have been relied upon and called 'dependable' by many people in my life.
Today, I want to work through this and analyze my mental toolkit for my own benefit. I post it here because it may benefit someone else, and that would be worth every moment I spend on this.
A mental toolkit is a very important thing to have. Indeed most people have one. However, like real tools, you must keep them cleaned, organized, and cared for. With disuse or misuse, these tools can fail you when you need them most.
The tools:
1) Curiosity:
Curiosity is an essential tool in my toolkit, and is organized as the most accessible, because it is possibly the best reaction to any situation I have ever encountered or expect to encounter. When something is dangerous, you inspect it cautiously till you understand it and can properly respect it. When something is fun, you explore it till you know why it is fun and how to share it with others. When something is just strange, you investigate it till you know what it is, what it means to you, and how you can use it.
2) Confidence:
Without confidence, you are unable to explore and be curious. You cannot discover new things about yourself and the wonderful world around you. The more you discover, the more your confidence strengthens and becomes a useful tool. Confidence is not the same as being foolhardy, there are thresholds you should not cross, but you can never know where those are without pushing your boundaries and using the confidence you have to gain more.
3) Courage:
As hard as it is to define, courage is a crucial tool in your mental toolkit. Where Confidence relies on what you know, Courage relies on the fact that what you don't know should never scare you. This is why Courage is such a sought after personality tool, because the most amazing people we know seem to have it in spades and never fear the unknown, they never let anything stop them from understanding.
4) The ability to listen without judgement:
This tool, despite it's long name, is essential not only for dealing with other people, but in dealing with yourself. When you think about yourself, your situation, or something internal, it is helpful to be able to listen to your own thoughts objectively and without condemnation. It helps you to prevent negative self-talk and to understand why you feel and react the way you do. It is necessary for working on an emotion within yourself without needing to resort to external council. Not to say that external council is a bad thing. In fact, that is my next tool.
5) Empathy:
This tool is one of my most precious. I am still not sure if it is a learn-able skill or solely innate, but it is undoubtedly one of my most well used tools. In essence, Empathy as my tool, is the ability to listen to, hear about, or imagine another individual in a particular situation and to be able to feel the emotions and think the thoughts they would likely feel and think. Of course this tool requires calibration and is most reliable when the individual is someone you know. The better you know them, the more accurate it is. The most challenging use of this tool, what I would call 'True' Empathy, is when you are able to completely feel and think with that person, without any interference from your own thoughts or emotions on the situation.\
6) Knowing when, how, and from whom to ask for help:
This is a difficult tool to find and keep in good condition because we seem to be of the social opinion that the most well adjusted individual never needs help. This is far from true! The most well adjusted and stable people I have ever known are actually some of the most helpless with everyday tasks. They have become adept at seeking help and are then able to make many close ties to good people. I will admit that this tool took me a long time to find and it is still a challenge for me to use it regularly.
7) Planning:
One of the things that I have found is a large mark of achievement in moving from adolescence to full adulthood is the ability to plan. This includes setting short-term, long-term, and tactical goals. There are so many opinions on the best way to plan that it is fairly evident that it is a hard won and very personal skill. When you find a method that works, use it and keep trying to improve it.
8) Strategic Paranoia:
This is one of my personal ones. I believe I recognized either the usefulness of paranoia when I was young, or recognized that it was going to be a part of my personality. Either way I have worked for years to develop this mental skill, so bear with me on this one.
Essentially, this tool allows me to conceptualize a situation or event within my mind, use True Empathy (#5), and understand exactly what I would feel, think, and do in that situation. I call this skill Paranoia because I usually focus it on negative or stressful situations.
However, like many powerful tools there is a danger or two you must keep a careful eye for when using it. The development of psychological/clinical paranoia is the often the fixation and worry over one particular situation or threat over a long period of time.
The second danger is that you MUST set a threshold. This threshold is there to let you consider a situation, realize that it is more stressful, depressing, or alarming than you are equipped to handle at the moment. If it is beyond that threshold you must acknowledge that it exists, has a possibility, and then store it away without further thought. This makes it so you are only dealing with the imminently possible and useful situations and preparing for them.
The usefulness of this mental tool in your toolkit is that you are able to rely on memory, and a quick 'double check' regarding it's appropriateness to the situation. If you can remember the situation and your responses, and you are able to verify it applies to your current situation, you are that much more emotionally and mentally prepared to deal with the situation.
I would like to caution you that this skill may only be useful for certain personalities. It is also extremely hard to develop and keep up with at times. It will also add a lot of stress to your everyday life where you should have no stress at all. The upside is that you will be better prepared and faster to respond to relatively extreme situations.
If you would like to know more about this, please feel free to ask me and we can discuss it.
9) Doubt:
Though this seems like a negative thing to keep in your mind, it is nonetheless a crucial tool. When someone you know only so well insists that they know what is best for you, doubt is a good tool to have. When you have an exciting or intoxicating idea, doubt is useful as a quick check and balance to make sure you are not doing something foolish. When you are depressed or in a bad mood, doubt is a good tool to help you remember that life is not always so bleak. My favorite saying to express this exact usefulness of Doubt is: "Take it with a grain of salt."
10) Wisdom:
One of the most fabled tools in any individuals mental toolkit is the one most easily lost. Wisdom is the understanding and appreciation that you yourself know so much. In it's duality, it also represents the acknowledgement and understanding that you yourself understand relatively little and are always needing to learn. It is also the understanding and expectation that what you do know, is possibly and often simply wrong. This is where Curiosity keeps Wisdom alive and well functioning, as when you fundamentally believe that you have more to learn and you are looking for those things that prove what you know wrong, you are able to actively seek wisdom. This tool is a compass of sorts because it is always pointing a direction, never telling you the destination.
In conclusion:
As in accordance with the final tool, Wisdom, this toolkit is never complete. The tools may be replaced with newer and better revisions, new tools may be discovered and added, and some tools can prove to be faulty. This is simply a fact of life.
So please let me know if you have an issue with anything I have put above, have input on something I missed, or have a question. I'm right here with you and just trying to work things out for myself. This mixed blessing of communication means that we can all hopefully benefit by communicating openly about what works and what doesn't when it comes to dealing with or simply understanding the things we encounter in this wonderful ride called life.
P.S.: I almost forgot. Don't forget your towel.
Eleven things, and an update
Posted 14 years agoWell my amazing Farelle has headed home. It was hard to let her go and not hold on to her or follow her back to Minneapolis. I have to adjust back to being home with only my family and a few close friends here in Raleigh and doing the long distance thing with her. I'm hopeful and positive things will continue to develop well and that we will be together again. That I will be able to hold her hand again and look into her beautiful eyes. ah!
I'm rambling private things~!
On to business.
My wonderful farelle has tagged me in a meme with 10 other poor souls to answer eleven very pointed and amusing questions. I will answer these here to the best of my ability and then I will continue this evil plot by tagging eleven more helpless furs! If you are not tagged but want to answer one of the questions I ask, please feel free to answer in a comment or to even start a new tree of this meme, just link me to it in a comment and I'll read it!
{I'll be blunt. I typed up all of this once and lost the journal when my browser decided to go on the fritz... I'll try not to go a to nutz and keep things to the point with this re-creation. Hopefully I learned this time to keep a copy/paste of my journal in notepad!}
Without further adieu:
Eleven Things meme
Da Rules
1. You must post these rules.
2. Each person must post 11 things about themselves in their journal.
3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post, and create eleven new questions for the people you tag to answer.
4. You have to choose 11 people to tag and post their icons on your journal.
5. Go to their page and tell them you have tagged him/her.
6. No tag backs.
7. No stuff in the tagging section about "you are tagged if you are reading this." You have to tag 11 people.
To answer those asked of me:
1) What significance does your favorite color hold for you? (Obviously, I also want to know your favorite color.)
My favorite color is a powerful yet subtle shade of blue, #0400BB approximately. Initially it was a reflex response through my early years of school and I had to do a lot of thinking about it as I came to be curious about myself and to try to know myself. As I came to know myself, I found that it is my favorite color because I can identify with it no matter what mood I am in. when I am sad, it reflects my melancholy. When I am happy, it is vibrant and electric. When I am stable and elated, it is noble and tranquil. If given gray-scale and the choice of one color, it would be blue.
2) If you had to change the color or patterns on your character, what would you do? (An alternate you!)
whuf. Well as I do identify myself as one of these fabled 'artists' I am unable to easily express my own fursona to the world. I must rely on others to do this for me and am subject to their own creative and wondrous minds. In that I will have to say that to change my pattern and color are relevant only in that I am deviating from one of the images of myself in my mind that you have yet to see. :p
I digress, if I was forced to change I would move my spot pattern and color more towards the dark chocolate and black coloration of the rain-forest dwelling clouded leopard.
3) Have you ever had a dream that later came to be real in some way? (Tell us about it!)
I have had dreams that came true in parts and ways, but not in their entirety.
HOWEVER~! I have had very strong and important moments of 'deja-vu'. These moments seem to originate when I am idle or letting my mind wander and I will work through a theoretical situation and emotions. Then months or years later that situation and set of emotions will happen EXACTLY as I remembered, down to the exact words said in the exact context.
I have no idea if this is something mystical or if it is simply a sign of how much I do mental situational exercises.
4) Do you know someone whose fursona is very similar to yours in species, color, pattern or personality? (who are they?)
In my brief year or two occupying server space and network time while exploring and finding myself in SecondLife, I met a very wonderful fur that went by the name of Ezra. He, a white tiger anthro, and myself, a still settling clouded leopard, found so much in common during our months of getting to know each other that we connected on a level that I have only felt with a true sibling. I have unfortunately fallen far out of touch with him and have only talked with him a few months ago. He is doing well and we still seem to have that bond. Our fursona's personalities were so uncanny in similarity and our mannerisms online so alike, I have no doubt we could have traded accounts and fooled the closest of friends.
5) Congrats! For your birthday I'm sending you anywhere in the world for one whole week on me! Where do you want to go?
Only one place? :/ Well, it is a gift so I can't complain!
The pick at the top of my LONG list is undoubtedly Australia. I have come to know a great number of congenial furs and humans that reside there of whom I would love to meet in person. Many of these acquaintances have also shown me many of the simply amazing and breathtaking sights though their creative and equally breathless photography.
I also have wanted to explore the cultures and environment of the 'Outback' and have discussed the concept of a 'Walkabout' at length with many of these friends. I understand it is simply something that one must do for oneself to understand it... and I do so love a challenge that helps me understand myself.
6) What kind of bubblegum do you chew, and if you do not chew bubblegum do you chew on/ munch anything else regularly for fun?
If I chew bubblegum, it is the original minty flavor of Trident.
However, I am absolutely known to completely decimate my way through a straw or toothpick without mercy. One habit I have developed that I love is to chew my way through one end of a toothpick after having singed the other end with a lighter. I find this particularly useful and relaxing, especially when I am doing something in an environment full of a distasteful or wretched odor. The smell of singed wood relaxes me and easily overpowers the worst smells the world has to offer. I guess the relaxation is from my years of camping and relaxing by the campfire.
7) What is the most frivolous purchase you've ever made?
{Oh god I went on and on in this section last time. I think I'll do that again!}
Ahh, what a question. In my perception of the world, I have NEVER bought something that has not had some sort of crucial usefulness or important purpose in my life or the life of someone I love. My family and those close to me seem to label this as being 'Resourceful', a notion that I have no intention of trying to prove or disprove. It's quite a compliment!
So, I will answer this question using empathy to see the items in my life through the eyes of a passerby, an individual that could not possibly see what I see in the items in my life.
I have bought the following 'frivolous' things.:
-various pewter and painted sculpture dragon and gryphon figurines.
-Zoids and Gundam models.
-those orange edged CD 'protectors'
-a "mare's leg" or "ranch hand" lever action pistol (real steel like Zoe's in Firefly, not functional for self defense)
-serious art supplies and materials (I'm not an artist yet, haven't earned that card)
-magic cards (nuff said)
and the Coup De'tat of this list, the most frivolous thing I've ever bought by the standards of those people titled as 'normal'... will be in the next question!
8) What is the oddest thing that you own?
The oddest, and possibly the most frivolous, thing I own by the standards of everyone I meet, is a Bus. And I mean a real bus, like a school bus.
Plenty of people own old and used school buses right? no big deal.
HOWEVER~! I own a full fledged, all steel, and impressive NC Division of Prisons, road work crew bus. It comes complete with armor grated windows, a full welded bulkhead with sliding steel door inside, a lock-down bar and points for padlocks on every entry, and even features a stainless steel toilet.
It is the land transit vehicle that any zombie apocalypse survivalist would literally climax in their pants to see.
... Can you tell I love my bus?
9) Name one TV or book plot you'd be willing to take on in real life...
My initial thought for this was the TV show 'LOST', because I know for a fact that I would "Pwn that island" as my lovely wolf so put it. We would both PWN that damn island so hard.
However, I sat down and thought about all the options open to me, all the tv series I followed through the years, the movies I have collected and feel so strongly for, and the innumerable books covering my shelves and piled in stacks around my living space...
I decided that I would be willing to, and indeed want to, be immersed in the plot and story of S.M.Stirling's "The Change" series, that starts with the book "Dies the fire".
I not only feel but know that with my mentality, skills, and knowledge, I would not only be able to live but to flourish and become a leader in that environment and with those people.
If you love a well written story exploring society and people through an apocalyptic downfall of everything we know about the world around us, pick up this book, you wont regret it.
10) Pick one: Sing really well or dance really well?
Well, this question gave me pause for a moment and truly made me imagine my future with either one of these skills I don't feel I have yet.
To be honest, it is hard for me to choose. I know I would be great at dancing if I gave myself a chance at it, and that I would enjoy it immensely as I am a very touch and caress oriented person. When words fail, I can always rely on a hug or cuddling.
However, to sing to someone, that is something that is truly a powerful and wonderful ability. Music can move the soul and heal the wounds no doctor can see.
Ultimately I would choose to dance. I would love to have the effect in peoples lives that to sing would bring, but I know myself and what makes me happy, and that would be to support and love someone who can do that far better than I ever could.
11) What is your fondest memory of this past summer?
Sitting in my jeep, entrenched in the heaviest downpour we've had all summer, looking over at my Jennifer, holding her hand and loosing myself in her beautiful mahogany eyes. I had the thought cross my mind "Definitely, Undoubtedly, Indubitably YES!"
Alrighty Then! Now the hardest part of the Meme, I must tag eleven of you wonderful furs so that you can answer the questions that I drum up for you to answer! Muahahahahahahaha~! (I actually do laugh like that once in a while)
E1000BASETX
kikiohater
dasoslukos
Tyho
Drakesapphire
sevalprincess
SmexyTiger
Kaden_Falodir
Merlot
Don46
ciarankitteh
WHUF! I'm not sure everyone here will respond to my tagging them, or everyone is still online anymore, but I hope you will enjoy doing this meme! Now for the evil fun. What questions to have you answer!
1) If you could have one 'super power' or psychic ability, what would it be and why?
2) Are you a con-goer? and if so, what was the best con you've ever been to?
3) What song inspires you and makes you feel that the life is worth living?
4) What is your favorite book and why? (If you don't have a favorite, it better be because you like so many so much)
5) What is the most difficult thing you have ever done and do you feel accomplished for doing it?
6) Do you read web-comics? If so, which one would you suggest?
7) Where were you when you saw the best sunrise you've ever seen?
8) Where did you go on your first date ever? Did they earn a kiss?
9) (In brief!) What is your fursona to you? a simple character, your spirit, a part of your personality, etc...?
10) Could you survive the downfall of society? What's the plan?
11) Who is the last person you touched in an encouraging way?
Thats it! Go at it!
Genuinely,
~MercGryph
I'm rambling private things~!
On to business.
My wonderful farelle has tagged me in a meme with 10 other poor souls to answer eleven very pointed and amusing questions. I will answer these here to the best of my ability and then I will continue this evil plot by tagging eleven more helpless furs! If you are not tagged but want to answer one of the questions I ask, please feel free to answer in a comment or to even start a new tree of this meme, just link me to it in a comment and I'll read it!
{I'll be blunt. I typed up all of this once and lost the journal when my browser decided to go on the fritz... I'll try not to go a to nutz and keep things to the point with this re-creation. Hopefully I learned this time to keep a copy/paste of my journal in notepad!}
Without further adieu:
Eleven Things meme
Da Rules
1. You must post these rules.
2. Each person must post 11 things about themselves in their journal.
3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post, and create eleven new questions for the people you tag to answer.
4. You have to choose 11 people to tag and post their icons on your journal.
5. Go to their page and tell them you have tagged him/her.
6. No tag backs.
7. No stuff in the tagging section about "you are tagged if you are reading this." You have to tag 11 people.
To answer those asked of me:
1) What significance does your favorite color hold for you? (Obviously, I also want to know your favorite color.)
My favorite color is a powerful yet subtle shade of blue, #0400BB approximately. Initially it was a reflex response through my early years of school and I had to do a lot of thinking about it as I came to be curious about myself and to try to know myself. As I came to know myself, I found that it is my favorite color because I can identify with it no matter what mood I am in. when I am sad, it reflects my melancholy. When I am happy, it is vibrant and electric. When I am stable and elated, it is noble and tranquil. If given gray-scale and the choice of one color, it would be blue.
2) If you had to change the color or patterns on your character, what would you do? (An alternate you!)
whuf. Well as I do identify myself as one of these fabled 'artists' I am unable to easily express my own fursona to the world. I must rely on others to do this for me and am subject to their own creative and wondrous minds. In that I will have to say that to change my pattern and color are relevant only in that I am deviating from one of the images of myself in my mind that you have yet to see. :p
I digress, if I was forced to change I would move my spot pattern and color more towards the dark chocolate and black coloration of the rain-forest dwelling clouded leopard.
3) Have you ever had a dream that later came to be real in some way? (Tell us about it!)
I have had dreams that came true in parts and ways, but not in their entirety.
HOWEVER~! I have had very strong and important moments of 'deja-vu'. These moments seem to originate when I am idle or letting my mind wander and I will work through a theoretical situation and emotions. Then months or years later that situation and set of emotions will happen EXACTLY as I remembered, down to the exact words said in the exact context.
I have no idea if this is something mystical or if it is simply a sign of how much I do mental situational exercises.
4) Do you know someone whose fursona is very similar to yours in species, color, pattern or personality? (who are they?)
In my brief year or two occupying server space and network time while exploring and finding myself in SecondLife, I met a very wonderful fur that went by the name of Ezra. He, a white tiger anthro, and myself, a still settling clouded leopard, found so much in common during our months of getting to know each other that we connected on a level that I have only felt with a true sibling. I have unfortunately fallen far out of touch with him and have only talked with him a few months ago. He is doing well and we still seem to have that bond. Our fursona's personalities were so uncanny in similarity and our mannerisms online so alike, I have no doubt we could have traded accounts and fooled the closest of friends.
5) Congrats! For your birthday I'm sending you anywhere in the world for one whole week on me! Where do you want to go?
Only one place? :/ Well, it is a gift so I can't complain!
The pick at the top of my LONG list is undoubtedly Australia. I have come to know a great number of congenial furs and humans that reside there of whom I would love to meet in person. Many of these acquaintances have also shown me many of the simply amazing and breathtaking sights though their creative and equally breathless photography.
I also have wanted to explore the cultures and environment of the 'Outback' and have discussed the concept of a 'Walkabout' at length with many of these friends. I understand it is simply something that one must do for oneself to understand it... and I do so love a challenge that helps me understand myself.
6) What kind of bubblegum do you chew, and if you do not chew bubblegum do you chew on/ munch anything else regularly for fun?
If I chew bubblegum, it is the original minty flavor of Trident.
However, I am absolutely known to completely decimate my way through a straw or toothpick without mercy. One habit I have developed that I love is to chew my way through one end of a toothpick after having singed the other end with a lighter. I find this particularly useful and relaxing, especially when I am doing something in an environment full of a distasteful or wretched odor. The smell of singed wood relaxes me and easily overpowers the worst smells the world has to offer. I guess the relaxation is from my years of camping and relaxing by the campfire.
7) What is the most frivolous purchase you've ever made?
{Oh god I went on and on in this section last time. I think I'll do that again!}
Ahh, what a question. In my perception of the world, I have NEVER bought something that has not had some sort of crucial usefulness or important purpose in my life or the life of someone I love. My family and those close to me seem to label this as being 'Resourceful', a notion that I have no intention of trying to prove or disprove. It's quite a compliment!
So, I will answer this question using empathy to see the items in my life through the eyes of a passerby, an individual that could not possibly see what I see in the items in my life.
I have bought the following 'frivolous' things.:
-various pewter and painted sculpture dragon and gryphon figurines.
-Zoids and Gundam models.
-those orange edged CD 'protectors'
-a "mare's leg" or "ranch hand" lever action pistol (real steel like Zoe's in Firefly, not functional for self defense)
-serious art supplies and materials (I'm not an artist yet, haven't earned that card)
-magic cards (nuff said)
and the Coup De'tat of this list, the most frivolous thing I've ever bought by the standards of those people titled as 'normal'... will be in the next question!
8) What is the oddest thing that you own?
The oddest, and possibly the most frivolous, thing I own by the standards of everyone I meet, is a Bus. And I mean a real bus, like a school bus.
Plenty of people own old and used school buses right? no big deal.
HOWEVER~! I own a full fledged, all steel, and impressive NC Division of Prisons, road work crew bus. It comes complete with armor grated windows, a full welded bulkhead with sliding steel door inside, a lock-down bar and points for padlocks on every entry, and even features a stainless steel toilet.
It is the land transit vehicle that any zombie apocalypse survivalist would literally climax in their pants to see.
... Can you tell I love my bus?
9) Name one TV or book plot you'd be willing to take on in real life...
My initial thought for this was the TV show 'LOST', because I know for a fact that I would "Pwn that island" as my lovely wolf so put it. We would both PWN that damn island so hard.
However, I sat down and thought about all the options open to me, all the tv series I followed through the years, the movies I have collected and feel so strongly for, and the innumerable books covering my shelves and piled in stacks around my living space...
I decided that I would be willing to, and indeed want to, be immersed in the plot and story of S.M.Stirling's "The Change" series, that starts with the book "Dies the fire".
I not only feel but know that with my mentality, skills, and knowledge, I would not only be able to live but to flourish and become a leader in that environment and with those people.
If you love a well written story exploring society and people through an apocalyptic downfall of everything we know about the world around us, pick up this book, you wont regret it.
10) Pick one: Sing really well or dance really well?
Well, this question gave me pause for a moment and truly made me imagine my future with either one of these skills I don't feel I have yet.
To be honest, it is hard for me to choose. I know I would be great at dancing if I gave myself a chance at it, and that I would enjoy it immensely as I am a very touch and caress oriented person. When words fail, I can always rely on a hug or cuddling.
However, to sing to someone, that is something that is truly a powerful and wonderful ability. Music can move the soul and heal the wounds no doctor can see.
Ultimately I would choose to dance. I would love to have the effect in peoples lives that to sing would bring, but I know myself and what makes me happy, and that would be to support and love someone who can do that far better than I ever could.
11) What is your fondest memory of this past summer?
Sitting in my jeep, entrenched in the heaviest downpour we've had all summer, looking over at my Jennifer, holding her hand and loosing myself in her beautiful mahogany eyes. I had the thought cross my mind "Definitely, Undoubtedly, Indubitably YES!"
Alrighty Then! Now the hardest part of the Meme, I must tag eleven of you wonderful furs so that you can answer the questions that I drum up for you to answer! Muahahahahahahaha~! (I actually do laugh like that once in a while)
E1000BASETX kikiohater
dasoslukos
Tyho
Drakesapphire
sevalprincess
SmexyTiger
Kaden_Falodir
Merlot
Don46
ciarankittehWHUF! I'm not sure everyone here will respond to my tagging them, or everyone is still online anymore, but I hope you will enjoy doing this meme! Now for the evil fun. What questions to have you answer!
1) If you could have one 'super power' or psychic ability, what would it be and why?
2) Are you a con-goer? and if so, what was the best con you've ever been to?
3) What song inspires you and makes you feel that the life is worth living?
4) What is your favorite book and why? (If you don't have a favorite, it better be because you like so many so much)
5) What is the most difficult thing you have ever done and do you feel accomplished for doing it?
6) Do you read web-comics? If so, which one would you suggest?
7) Where were you when you saw the best sunrise you've ever seen?
8) Where did you go on your first date ever? Did they earn a kiss?
9) (In brief!) What is your fursona to you? a simple character, your spirit, a part of your personality, etc...?
10) Could you survive the downfall of society? What's the plan?
11) Who is the last person you touched in an encouraging way?
Thats it! Go at it!
Genuinely,
~MercGryph
