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Trying to make sense of it all - Part 2
Posted a year agoWell here I am back here once again.
I wanted to start a little by answering a possible question. I'm sure some might look at these posts and wonder why I'm not talking about this with family or close friends or something like that. Honestly it's because i can't.
For family, It's hard to really say if I even have much of a family anymore. My parents were never that close with me. Didn't help that as I grew up their actions, or non-actions, gave me the impression that as best I just wasn't all that important, and at worst... I guess something of a black sheep. I can't go do any of my siblings. One is basically a crackpot, one is in prison, and one honestly hates me. I barely know any of my extended family too. Either there's too many for me to know, or I was never introduced. Honestly familial ties are all but non-existent, and considering how I was treated as an 'obligation' or someone to either house sit or do the random tech support I'm really not even feeling the desire to want to get in close to them anymore anyway.
My friends portion is also messy. Honestly it's been making me wonder if I'm honestly a horrible person and I don't even know it. Maybe I don't deserve to have anyone close to me in life.
Anyway, all the friends I in and even after high school are basically gone. Some stopped contacting me after a time. I was told at some point that they were actually using me because I would try to be a good host when they would visit, order pizza and hang out and stuff. Considering the source nowadays I'm not sure how true that is now. Could even be they were poisoned towards me. but that's going into some dark speculation without any real proof. The few I still kept in contact were... Well one ended up being a massive pervert and a toxic person. Basically shooting everyone down that did things they didn't like. One did live with me and was a good friend for a long time. Then they moved in with someone else a few years back and just never talked to me anymore.
Honestly since all that it's been hard for me to open up because I'm not sure who or what is to blame, and considering I'm the common factor in a lot of this I really think I am.
I do have people I'm friendly with, but as time has gone on I'm starting to see and wonder about things that don't add up. I'm not sure if I'm starting to see the truth of things, or maybe I'm just losing myself and trying to justify things that aren't real. But because of this I can't seem to find anyone to talk to about anything. I'm afraid of being just ignored, told I'm not that important, considered a burden or just some drama dumper, or worse, mocked and my worries/concerns/fears/anxieties be used against me to just tear me down, or to be judged as a horrible person and left alone with nothing and noone until I die.
It honestly doesn't help that my current roommate is exhausting. I won't get too much in the weeds but they seem to be very selfish about themselves and their desires without considering anyone else or the situation they're in. To give a small idea, they currently owe me a lot of money because they needed a little help with some things and they didn't do anything before about not being good with funds so I thought it okay. This has been going on for close to a year that they've owed me and paid little. Yesterday they talked about getting a new laptop which left me with a mix of anger and confusion. I did find they're putting it on credit which considering their finances is a bad idea, but then they brought up the owed money and completely had the wrong amount both in what was paid and what was still owed. And this is far from the first time a mistake like this happened and they almost don't believe me when I correct them. I almost feel like I'm being gaslighted by them, though I don't think intentionally.
Anyway that was a bit of a rant and I'm kinda worn out now, so I'm going to go lie down. Thanks for reading if you actually read it, but if not hopefully venting on something somewhere will help.
I wanted to start a little by answering a possible question. I'm sure some might look at these posts and wonder why I'm not talking about this with family or close friends or something like that. Honestly it's because i can't.
For family, It's hard to really say if I even have much of a family anymore. My parents were never that close with me. Didn't help that as I grew up their actions, or non-actions, gave me the impression that as best I just wasn't all that important, and at worst... I guess something of a black sheep. I can't go do any of my siblings. One is basically a crackpot, one is in prison, and one honestly hates me. I barely know any of my extended family too. Either there's too many for me to know, or I was never introduced. Honestly familial ties are all but non-existent, and considering how I was treated as an 'obligation' or someone to either house sit or do the random tech support I'm really not even feeling the desire to want to get in close to them anymore anyway.
My friends portion is also messy. Honestly it's been making me wonder if I'm honestly a horrible person and I don't even know it. Maybe I don't deserve to have anyone close to me in life.
Anyway, all the friends I in and even after high school are basically gone. Some stopped contacting me after a time. I was told at some point that they were actually using me because I would try to be a good host when they would visit, order pizza and hang out and stuff. Considering the source nowadays I'm not sure how true that is now. Could even be they were poisoned towards me. but that's going into some dark speculation without any real proof. The few I still kept in contact were... Well one ended up being a massive pervert and a toxic person. Basically shooting everyone down that did things they didn't like. One did live with me and was a good friend for a long time. Then they moved in with someone else a few years back and just never talked to me anymore.
Honestly since all that it's been hard for me to open up because I'm not sure who or what is to blame, and considering I'm the common factor in a lot of this I really think I am.
I do have people I'm friendly with, but as time has gone on I'm starting to see and wonder about things that don't add up. I'm not sure if I'm starting to see the truth of things, or maybe I'm just losing myself and trying to justify things that aren't real. But because of this I can't seem to find anyone to talk to about anything. I'm afraid of being just ignored, told I'm not that important, considered a burden or just some drama dumper, or worse, mocked and my worries/concerns/fears/anxieties be used against me to just tear me down, or to be judged as a horrible person and left alone with nothing and noone until I die.
It honestly doesn't help that my current roommate is exhausting. I won't get too much in the weeds but they seem to be very selfish about themselves and their desires without considering anyone else or the situation they're in. To give a small idea, they currently owe me a lot of money because they needed a little help with some things and they didn't do anything before about not being good with funds so I thought it okay. This has been going on for close to a year that they've owed me and paid little. Yesterday they talked about getting a new laptop which left me with a mix of anger and confusion. I did find they're putting it on credit which considering their finances is a bad idea, but then they brought up the owed money and completely had the wrong amount both in what was paid and what was still owed. And this is far from the first time a mistake like this happened and they almost don't believe me when I correct them. I almost feel like I'm being gaslighted by them, though I don't think intentionally.
Anyway that was a bit of a rant and I'm kinda worn out now, so I'm going to go lie down. Thanks for reading if you actually read it, but if not hopefully venting on something somewhere will help.
Trying to make sense of it all - Part 1
Posted a year agoHello. Honestly I'm not sure what I'm exactly hoping to get out of this. Maybe I'm just wanting to get my thoughts in order for once and confirm things? Maybe looking for justification? Or it could be I really no longer care about some of my anonymity and just feel like it's time to air things out, even if someone manages to figure out who I am behind the furry.
So if you're not interested in someone talking and rambling about their life then you might not want to read further, and go check on something more fun. However if you really want to give this a read or give an opinion that's always welcome. Maybe it would even justify the feelings I'm starting to get.
Well, I guess I should start with what really started me thinking about doing this. I recently got a tattoo on my arm which was to celebrate losing a lot of weight and keeping up with doing good things for myself. During the healing process I was told that for 2 weeks after bandage removal I would need to lotion it every few hours every day. So I've been slathering my arm in lotion every day.
Honestly I don't mind lotion too much sometimes, but I always hate how it made my hands feel weird and greasy. I'm sure that was the point, but I just felt like I was getting grease everywhere because of it. It doesn't help I was, and still am, a somewhat greasy kid.
While driving to work last week and just mulling on it I started to remember a routine that was almost daily at my house when I was younger. My mom would work all day, and dad was not around because divorce, absent, golfing, etc etc. Along with that my older brother would be the normal teenage rebel. Friends, drugs, sex, etc. So because of that I had to end up being the person taking care of my younger brothers after school and the weekends.
What would normally happen afterwards is that our mom would eventually get home late. sometimes just because work day was done, other time it was because of an issue that was caused by a younger brother who was ADHD and had some issues. So when she would get home she would want to rest and would guilt trip me to helping her with that. What this usually ended up being was walking on her back a lot. Then massaging her feet with lotions for several minutes. Usually until she said she was satisfied. Then she would pick at my hair with a comb looking for dandruff or spots to comb out like she was preening a monkey. During all of this she would go on about how stressful work was, or how stressful dad was, or finances, or my brothers, or just how things are terrible and I was the only supportive one. Honestly as a kid I think I took some joy in that, but now it just felt... It felt like I was being used to unload on. like some sort of therapy pet. And I imagine a lot of it was largely due to wanting to feel some sort of acceptance with her. She didn't accept dad, she didn't seem to accept my older brother, and the youngest was a mess and a wild child while honestly my yonger seemed to be... seperate from us? Honestly I never thought about it till now.
Anyway, it's kind of a fun thing to think about when driving to work that day. like a light bulb clicked on and you realized the brown sweet chocolate of youth looked more like a melted snickers that could be mistaken for a turd. Funny that this all came to thought because of a tattoo that I know she would probably hate and disown me for having, not that I would care if she did at this point.
Anyway, it started to make me wonder how she really saw me. Thinking more about it I seem to really only see her for holidays at times, and birthdays are very awkward at best. Considering she drives by with her husband and my step-dad (Whole other kettle of ugly fish there) on my birthday to very quickly drop off a bag of either oreos, or a jar of peaches, or this last time it was a 'gift set' of 3 jars of jelly from sams club. Honestly it almost feels more like a token effort. Not that I don't appreciate being remembered but it kinda hurts a little when you're given the same consideration as a quick gift at an office party.
This all really came to a head last weekend. Fathers day. I sent a quick text to my dad because I know he's usually working and realized he hadn't even talked to me for over 6 months, and it was just to request I check on his dog while he was out of town. Honestly stung. Then a couple days later I get a text from my mom just asking 'are you okay?' and that's it. Not a call, no come over, just a quick wellfare check in case I died a month ago I guess? Really the only time my parents reach out to me for anything is if they need something or it's a holiday like some sort of obligation. and honestly it drives me crazy because a part of me thinks I caused something and nobody will tell me what.
Which is par for the course of this family. Nobody tells anyone anything. I never know when my older brother is in town, and my younger I never know if he was in or out of prison until I ask about it. And yes, I'm serious about that.
Anyway, that was my rant for something that recently popped into my head for me to unravel. Hopefully make sense of this furious ball of anxiety and depression that really needs to be picked apart once and for all.
I'm going to get some tea and some toast with jelly
So if you're not interested in someone talking and rambling about their life then you might not want to read further, and go check on something more fun. However if you really want to give this a read or give an opinion that's always welcome. Maybe it would even justify the feelings I'm starting to get.
Well, I guess I should start with what really started me thinking about doing this. I recently got a tattoo on my arm which was to celebrate losing a lot of weight and keeping up with doing good things for myself. During the healing process I was told that for 2 weeks after bandage removal I would need to lotion it every few hours every day. So I've been slathering my arm in lotion every day.
Honestly I don't mind lotion too much sometimes, but I always hate how it made my hands feel weird and greasy. I'm sure that was the point, but I just felt like I was getting grease everywhere because of it. It doesn't help I was, and still am, a somewhat greasy kid.
While driving to work last week and just mulling on it I started to remember a routine that was almost daily at my house when I was younger. My mom would work all day, and dad was not around because divorce, absent, golfing, etc etc. Along with that my older brother would be the normal teenage rebel. Friends, drugs, sex, etc. So because of that I had to end up being the person taking care of my younger brothers after school and the weekends.
What would normally happen afterwards is that our mom would eventually get home late. sometimes just because work day was done, other time it was because of an issue that was caused by a younger brother who was ADHD and had some issues. So when she would get home she would want to rest and would guilt trip me to helping her with that. What this usually ended up being was walking on her back a lot. Then massaging her feet with lotions for several minutes. Usually until she said she was satisfied. Then she would pick at my hair with a comb looking for dandruff or spots to comb out like she was preening a monkey. During all of this she would go on about how stressful work was, or how stressful dad was, or finances, or my brothers, or just how things are terrible and I was the only supportive one. Honestly as a kid I think I took some joy in that, but now it just felt... It felt like I was being used to unload on. like some sort of therapy pet. And I imagine a lot of it was largely due to wanting to feel some sort of acceptance with her. She didn't accept dad, she didn't seem to accept my older brother, and the youngest was a mess and a wild child while honestly my yonger seemed to be... seperate from us? Honestly I never thought about it till now.
Anyway, it's kind of a fun thing to think about when driving to work that day. like a light bulb clicked on and you realized the brown sweet chocolate of youth looked more like a melted snickers that could be mistaken for a turd. Funny that this all came to thought because of a tattoo that I know she would probably hate and disown me for having, not that I would care if she did at this point.
Anyway, it started to make me wonder how she really saw me. Thinking more about it I seem to really only see her for holidays at times, and birthdays are very awkward at best. Considering she drives by with her husband and my step-dad (Whole other kettle of ugly fish there) on my birthday to very quickly drop off a bag of either oreos, or a jar of peaches, or this last time it was a 'gift set' of 3 jars of jelly from sams club. Honestly it almost feels more like a token effort. Not that I don't appreciate being remembered but it kinda hurts a little when you're given the same consideration as a quick gift at an office party.
This all really came to a head last weekend. Fathers day. I sent a quick text to my dad because I know he's usually working and realized he hadn't even talked to me for over 6 months, and it was just to request I check on his dog while he was out of town. Honestly stung. Then a couple days later I get a text from my mom just asking 'are you okay?' and that's it. Not a call, no come over, just a quick wellfare check in case I died a month ago I guess? Really the only time my parents reach out to me for anything is if they need something or it's a holiday like some sort of obligation. and honestly it drives me crazy because a part of me thinks I caused something and nobody will tell me what.
Which is par for the course of this family. Nobody tells anyone anything. I never know when my older brother is in town, and my younger I never know if he was in or out of prison until I ask about it. And yes, I'm serious about that.
Anyway, that was my rant for something that recently popped into my head for me to unravel. Hopefully make sense of this furious ball of anxiety and depression that really needs to be picked apart once and for all.
I'm going to get some tea and some toast with jelly
Wonderfully gifted art
Posted 14 years agoThis wonderful budding artist 
shadowfoxslave made a few sketches of me and him having fun together. I love how great they look. I'm sure he'll become an incredible artist in time. I hope you all take the time to check them out too.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5453155
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5473061
shadowfoxslave made a few sketches of me and him having fun together. I love how great they look. I'm sure he'll become an incredible artist in time. I hope you all take the time to check them out too.http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5453155
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5473061
Free art by stealth
Posted 14 years agoCome and check it out!
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2182929/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2182929/
Furry Meme
Posted 14 years ago1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
Easily, yes
2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
where's the 24 hour option?
3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Right side, unless I need to cool down the the left
4. Do you masturbate?
Who doesn't?
5. How often? Lately?
daily, sometimes twice. Probably would be more if I actually let myself heal for a few months
6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
No, but I do it for free
7. Do you prefer showers or baths?
I prefer showers, but I long for the day I can fully soak in a bath
8. Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath?
Yes, and lots of it
9. Do you watch/read pornography?
Hell, I write it
10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
Tough. I do like someone that would push me to the bed and rip off my clothes, but then again I would love to do the same to someone too. I guess adventurous
11. Do you love someone on your friends list?
Yes, and more than just one person
12. Do you know all the people on your friends list?
Not all of them, but I would like to
13. Would you choose love or money?
Why should I choose? I'll have both
14. Your top three favorite kinks in bed?
tits, doggy, slow and teasing sex where you want to cum for hours but you're barely held off of it just panting and groaning feeling like your cock is going to fall off and your balls explode
15. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?
If anything I'm the one pushing the line, but I never let things go too far for me or my lovers
16. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex?
Bathroom at walmart? Actually I would have to say at a hot springs resort in Idaho.
17. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
Okay, this one is the bathroom at a walmart
18. Have you ever been caught having sex?
No, not that I haven't had a lot of close calls
19. Have you ever been to a strip club?
And lost $20 in an hour
20. Ever been to a bar just to get sex?
Kinda, tried to but didn't get it
21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club for sexual reasons?
If I ever do, I'll definitely be proudly saying it everywhere
22. Ever been picked up in a bar?
Not yet
23. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
Nope, but I have a few people eager to break that chain
24. What's your sexuality?
Bi-Curious. I know I love females but there are some guys out there that make me intensely curious
25. Had sex in a movie theater?
Not for lack of trying. Think I did masturbate a girl though
26. Had sex in a bathroom?
See above
27. Have you ever had sex at work?
Yep, lots of times
28. Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
A few times, yes
29. Bought something from an adult store?
I did once, a vibrator
30. Do you own any sex toys?
I did, but that's another odd story
31. If yes, how many and what are they?
I had one metal vibrator
32. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?
Yes and yes
33. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
Not that I can think of
34. Have you ever had phone sex?
Yep
35. Have you ever had cyber sex?
Considering I've posted a few logs of my adventures, yes I've had cyber sex
36. Do you think oral sex constitutes a form of intercourse?
Not really, only one person usually gets off
37. What's your favorite sexual position?
All of them
38. What's your favorite sex act?
Slowly and deliberately holding back an orgasm while the receiver thrashes around
39. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?
Not yet
40. Who do you think has the guts to repost this?
fortune_fox 
wolfespada
Easily, yes
2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
where's the 24 hour option?
3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Right side, unless I need to cool down the the left
4. Do you masturbate?
Who doesn't?
5. How often? Lately?
daily, sometimes twice. Probably would be more if I actually let myself heal for a few months
6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
No, but I do it for free
7. Do you prefer showers or baths?
I prefer showers, but I long for the day I can fully soak in a bath
8. Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath?
Yes, and lots of it
9. Do you watch/read pornography?
Hell, I write it
10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
Tough. I do like someone that would push me to the bed and rip off my clothes, but then again I would love to do the same to someone too. I guess adventurous
11. Do you love someone on your friends list?
Yes, and more than just one person
12. Do you know all the people on your friends list?
Not all of them, but I would like to
13. Would you choose love or money?
Why should I choose? I'll have both
14. Your top three favorite kinks in bed?
tits, doggy, slow and teasing sex where you want to cum for hours but you're barely held off of it just panting and groaning feeling like your cock is going to fall off and your balls explode
15. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?
If anything I'm the one pushing the line, but I never let things go too far for me or my lovers
16. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex?
Bathroom at walmart? Actually I would have to say at a hot springs resort in Idaho.
17. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
Okay, this one is the bathroom at a walmart
18. Have you ever been caught having sex?
No, not that I haven't had a lot of close calls
19. Have you ever been to a strip club?
And lost $20 in an hour
20. Ever been to a bar just to get sex?
Kinda, tried to but didn't get it
21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club for sexual reasons?
If I ever do, I'll definitely be proudly saying it everywhere
22. Ever been picked up in a bar?
Not yet
23. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
Nope, but I have a few people eager to break that chain
24. What's your sexuality?
Bi-Curious. I know I love females but there are some guys out there that make me intensely curious
25. Had sex in a movie theater?
Not for lack of trying. Think I did masturbate a girl though
26. Had sex in a bathroom?
See above
27. Have you ever had sex at work?
Yep, lots of times
28. Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
A few times, yes
29. Bought something from an adult store?
I did once, a vibrator
30. Do you own any sex toys?
I did, but that's another odd story
31. If yes, how many and what are they?
I had one metal vibrator
32. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?
Yes and yes
33. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
Not that I can think of
34. Have you ever had phone sex?
Yep
35. Have you ever had cyber sex?
Considering I've posted a few logs of my adventures, yes I've had cyber sex
36. Do you think oral sex constitutes a form of intercourse?
Not really, only one person usually gets off
37. What's your favorite sexual position?
All of them
38. What's your favorite sex act?
Slowly and deliberately holding back an orgasm while the receiver thrashes around
39. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?
Not yet
40. Who do you think has the guts to repost this?
fortune_fox 
wolfespadaBirthday
Posted 14 years agoWow, another year has passed and it's my birthday again. I'm 28 now! Time to go out and have lots and lots of fun!
Reflection
Posted 14 years agoWell It's been quite a wild few months. I'll be honest I haven't exactly been telling the entire truth about what was going on in my life. True the holidays kept me busy, and now a few fun games took my time as well. Along with that I've been working on myself. I've realized I've been making excuses to myself and whining about my life and all the problems I've had. I'm trying to cope with a lot of it and it's definitely a process. Especially since I'm turning 28 near the end of the month and I've not done a lot with myself. In fact I'm working on getting my A+ certification and starting up a computer repair business.
During all of this I've also been working on changing my routine in life and getting out and about more often. It's a bad sign when you come home and your cat comes up thinking you have food every single time.
Along with all this there's been a lot of stress coming from a good friend. I want to feel bad for him but with all the stress he keeps giving me with all his issues I'm just having a very hard time dealing with all of it anymore. There's been more than a few times I've debated cutting off my friendship with him.
Anyway, drama aside I'll be getting back into the grove of things over the next few days. I still owe a few stories to people, first of which will be wolfespada and the story of a human turning herm donkey. Anyway, sorry for being gone, thanks for your attention, and I hope you all look forward to the fun I'll be bringing you all soon.
During all of this I've also been working on changing my routine in life and getting out and about more often. It's a bad sign when you come home and your cat comes up thinking you have food every single time.
Along with all this there's been a lot of stress coming from a good friend. I want to feel bad for him but with all the stress he keeps giving me with all his issues I'm just having a very hard time dealing with all of it anymore. There's been more than a few times I've debated cutting off my friendship with him.
Anyway, drama aside I'll be getting back into the grove of things over the next few days. I still owe a few stories to people, first of which will be
wolfespada and the story of a human turning herm donkey. Anyway, sorry for being gone, thanks for your attention, and I hope you all look forward to the fun I'll be bringing you all soon.Who wants to be in a comic? Click on this Journal!
Posted 14 years agoWant to be in a comic? What your furry persona to be personified in naughty fun? Well so do I! But I'm a fair furry, so if you want the same chance of being in the comic like I do come and check out this journal! http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1960829/
And hurry up, time is running short!
And hurry up, time is running short!
Lotsa explainin to do
Posted 15 years agoWell some people might have been wondering why I was gone for so long recently. Personally I wish it was better news since it's been a rather depressing last few journal posts. I usually don't like being so down or dramatic.
Anyway, first I apologize to everyone who was waiting and worried about me. I'm alright. However my life situation has taken a rather dramatic turn since the last few weeks. To start I had a few unexpected expenses, totaling to a larger amount than I was able to afford at the moment. It was so much that I ended up having to move back home in order to reduce expenses and make ends meet. That took some time away from me, obviously, and I couldn't get on as often as I did. In fact I just barely got unpacked as of today.
However that's not the end of the story. After moving in no less than a week later I was threatened with my job. So I spent another week doing everything I could to keep it. Sadly because of it I spent another week trying to keep my job. Sadly to no avail I lost it anyway and I had to once again cut down costs and try to find out how to survive since I didn't even have enough money to go a month.
Anyway, it was later revealed to me that it might have been beyond salvageable since it looks like I stirred up more than a little trouble and got the ire of higher ups that didn't like what I was seeing. Anyway, good riddance. Didn't like the job.
Well, I've lost about 3 weeks from all of it, and now I'm working to catch up on everything. I should be able to reply to messages sent during that time in the next day or so. I apologize for the wait and I thank you for your patience
And in an effort to earn some money and maybe get some much needed practice in typing I've decided to open myself up to doing some commissions. For now I'm thinking of doing both short stories and character descriptions. Anyone interested please send me a note here on FA and we'll talk about it then.
Anyway, first I apologize to everyone who was waiting and worried about me. I'm alright. However my life situation has taken a rather dramatic turn since the last few weeks. To start I had a few unexpected expenses, totaling to a larger amount than I was able to afford at the moment. It was so much that I ended up having to move back home in order to reduce expenses and make ends meet. That took some time away from me, obviously, and I couldn't get on as often as I did. In fact I just barely got unpacked as of today.
However that's not the end of the story. After moving in no less than a week later I was threatened with my job. So I spent another week doing everything I could to keep it. Sadly because of it I spent another week trying to keep my job. Sadly to no avail I lost it anyway and I had to once again cut down costs and try to find out how to survive since I didn't even have enough money to go a month.
Anyway, it was later revealed to me that it might have been beyond salvageable since it looks like I stirred up more than a little trouble and got the ire of higher ups that didn't like what I was seeing. Anyway, good riddance. Didn't like the job.
Well, I've lost about 3 weeks from all of it, and now I'm working to catch up on everything. I should be able to reply to messages sent during that time in the next day or so. I apologize for the wait and I thank you for your patience
And in an effort to earn some money and maybe get some much needed practice in typing I've decided to open myself up to doing some commissions. For now I'm thinking of doing both short stories and character descriptions. Anyone interested please send me a note here on FA and we'll talk about it then.
Big mistakes
Posted 15 years agoIt's amazing how often people make mistakes, and they never know about it until it's too late or somebody points it out to them. I hate to be the one constantly posting drama in my journal, but this does need to be said. I recently hurt a wonderful friend and lover, and only recently did I find out what I was doing.
veedway
Veedway has been with me for a long time. He's been there when I've been down, always warming me up. We always have lots of fun together, and he keeps me feeling happy and hopeful when other things in my life, or affecting my life bring me down. However he revealed to me that this has been rather one sided. I've hardly mentioned him in my FA, or anywhere outside of the chat that we use. I don't favorite his pics, or comment on them, or shout at his page, or anything. To be honest, I really don't know why I do this. I know it's not just him, and I'm sure more than a few people have been hurt by this careless neglect.
So I write this now to apologize, fully and deeply. I can't fix the mistakes I've made in the past. All I can do is work harder to make sure I don't repeat it, and I don't lose what me and Veedway have together. I hope that this apology is accepted, or at least read.
Note: Veedway even helped me get the icon right so everyone can see who I'm talking about <_<
veedwayVeedway has been with me for a long time. He's been there when I've been down, always warming me up. We always have lots of fun together, and he keeps me feeling happy and hopeful when other things in my life, or affecting my life bring me down. However he revealed to me that this has been rather one sided. I've hardly mentioned him in my FA, or anywhere outside of the chat that we use. I don't favorite his pics, or comment on them, or shout at his page, or anything. To be honest, I really don't know why I do this. I know it's not just him, and I'm sure more than a few people have been hurt by this careless neglect.
So I write this now to apologize, fully and deeply. I can't fix the mistakes I've made in the past. All I can do is work harder to make sure I don't repeat it, and I don't lose what me and Veedway have together. I hope that this apology is accepted, or at least read.
Note: Veedway even helped me get the icon right so everyone can see who I'm talking about <_<
A difficult choice
Posted 15 years agoWell I usually don't like to post drama on my journal, but I guess in this case it's a choice I have to make because of a situation that isn't good no matter what I do.
A friend of mine received some bad news about his health. For the sake of privacy and also to try and avoid backlash and people taking sides I'm going to keep it anonymous. Events in his life as of late caused him to have a lot of grief and despair. Because of it he hasn't been doing too good health wise. Along with this there is a person with him that also causes him untold grief. They are incredibly possessive of him, trying to keep him away from the world with lies of how everybody but her is a sick, twisted, thieving, STD ridden slut that only wants sex and to hurt and steal. And every time he tried to reach out to people this person will yell, scream, hit and throw a major fit the likes of which reminds me of a 2 year old brat that's incredibly spoiled.
The amazing thing is that even though all this my friend still keeps them around because of the fear that losing this person would be bad because they wouldn't be around anymore. It's my friends fear of loss that keeps them around, even though the person is ultimately making them miserable and stressed, probably adding to his already declining condition. Despite my best efforts it's not enough for my friend to let them go and find more people more supportive of him or even loving in a way I'll never be able to fulfill. And to top it all off this person also knows of me, hates me a lot, and has made several attempts to try and remove me from my friends life citing reasons such as me being an STD ridden fag whore that is only after my friends game. (I won't deny I'm a whore, but I do have my standards :3 )
Anyway, after carefully thinking about all of this I've decided the best thing to do is to just stay out of the way for now. Having me and this person fighting can only be adding to the pain that my friend is feeling, and I don't want to add to the pain. Sadly I know withdrawing like this might also cause him pain, but it's the only thing I can do to try and minimize the damage for now. I hope my friend understands why I'm doing this, and I keep hoping he will get better.
A friend of mine received some bad news about his health. For the sake of privacy and also to try and avoid backlash and people taking sides I'm going to keep it anonymous. Events in his life as of late caused him to have a lot of grief and despair. Because of it he hasn't been doing too good health wise. Along with this there is a person with him that also causes him untold grief. They are incredibly possessive of him, trying to keep him away from the world with lies of how everybody but her is a sick, twisted, thieving, STD ridden slut that only wants sex and to hurt and steal. And every time he tried to reach out to people this person will yell, scream, hit and throw a major fit the likes of which reminds me of a 2 year old brat that's incredibly spoiled.
The amazing thing is that even though all this my friend still keeps them around because of the fear that losing this person would be bad because they wouldn't be around anymore. It's my friends fear of loss that keeps them around, even though the person is ultimately making them miserable and stressed, probably adding to his already declining condition. Despite my best efforts it's not enough for my friend to let them go and find more people more supportive of him or even loving in a way I'll never be able to fulfill. And to top it all off this person also knows of me, hates me a lot, and has made several attempts to try and remove me from my friends life citing reasons such as me being an STD ridden fag whore that is only after my friends game. (I won't deny I'm a whore, but I do have my standards :3 )
Anyway, after carefully thinking about all of this I've decided the best thing to do is to just stay out of the way for now. Having me and this person fighting can only be adding to the pain that my friend is feeling, and I don't want to add to the pain. Sadly I know withdrawing like this might also cause him pain, but it's the only thing I can do to try and minimize the damage for now. I hope my friend understands why I'm doing this, and I keep hoping he will get better.
Opening up
Posted 15 years agoTo be honest I'm not sure why I decided to do this in my journal here. Maybe I'm hoping not to be judged. Or maybe I just want to start getting this out and this is the first place I thought of. Either way I've nothing more than to just follow through at this point.
I have been sulking for quite a long time now. Years in fact. I always grew up never wanting to show any weakness. I don't know why. Maybe it's because my brothers all looked strong to me. Maybe it's so people would be able to depend on me, or not worry about me. Either way it's taken it's toll on me, and some days I feel ready to snap.
I've always kept this quiet, just blaming it on lack of sleep or a bad day. It's true after a few days I feel fine, but I can't help but believe I'm just letting some air out of a very big and very tight pressure cooker of emotions and feelings. I need to come to grips with it, and with myself and start to let it all go. I'm going to try to post one journal a week, and I am going to commit hard to this. And hopefully by doing this I can let go of all my sadness, anger, hate, fustration, everything that I keep hidden from everyone. Will I been seen as weak, strong, sad, pathetic....human? I really can't say. All I really know is that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, and obviously what I'm doing isn't working anymore.
I guess I'll start this with what set me off this weekend. I always thought that in my family though I am fat I was at least thinner than my younger brother who also has some weight issues. I recently found out he weighs 50 lbs less then me. I just don't know how. I know I sometimes don't eat like I should, maybe having an extra plate or a donut here and there. I do eat lots of fruits and veggies, and drink lots of water. I even started trying to exercise more. My brother can't even eat a carrot without throwing up (think he did that to himself psychologically somehow) and he practically lives off sugar and soda and pizza...and yet...How is he lighter than me?
I guess all I have in my family is intelligence, but even that I'm not sure anymore. Maybe I'm the odd man out in my family. I feel like I don't excel at anything, and even what I thought I did have isn't even there anymore. I feel empty.
I have been sulking for quite a long time now. Years in fact. I always grew up never wanting to show any weakness. I don't know why. Maybe it's because my brothers all looked strong to me. Maybe it's so people would be able to depend on me, or not worry about me. Either way it's taken it's toll on me, and some days I feel ready to snap.
I've always kept this quiet, just blaming it on lack of sleep or a bad day. It's true after a few days I feel fine, but I can't help but believe I'm just letting some air out of a very big and very tight pressure cooker of emotions and feelings. I need to come to grips with it, and with myself and start to let it all go. I'm going to try to post one journal a week, and I am going to commit hard to this. And hopefully by doing this I can let go of all my sadness, anger, hate, fustration, everything that I keep hidden from everyone. Will I been seen as weak, strong, sad, pathetic....human? I really can't say. All I really know is that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, and obviously what I'm doing isn't working anymore.
I guess I'll start this with what set me off this weekend. I always thought that in my family though I am fat I was at least thinner than my younger brother who also has some weight issues. I recently found out he weighs 50 lbs less then me. I just don't know how. I know I sometimes don't eat like I should, maybe having an extra plate or a donut here and there. I do eat lots of fruits and veggies, and drink lots of water. I even started trying to exercise more. My brother can't even eat a carrot without throwing up (think he did that to himself psychologically somehow) and he practically lives off sugar and soda and pizza...and yet...How is he lighter than me?
I guess all I have in my family is intelligence, but even that I'm not sure anymore. Maybe I'm the odd man out in my family. I feel like I don't excel at anything, and even what I thought I did have isn't even there anymore. I feel empty.
New Submission
Posted 17 years agoAfter long last. After lots of hold backs and busy work and just plain being lazy I finally sat down for two hours and made a new story. Please check it out and see what you think
I've Done 73 of the 120 stupidest things.
Posted 17 years agoThing..stole from drayk drayk !
Level 1
(x) Smoked A Cigarette
( ) Smoked A Cigar
( ) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
SO FAR: 1
Level 2
(x) Are / Been In Love
(x) Dumped someone
(x) Been Fired
( ) Been In A Fist Fight
SO FAR: 4
Level 3
( ) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(x) Skipped Class
(x) Slept With A Co-worker
( ) Seen Someone / Something Die
SO FAR: 6
Level 4
(x) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your Furaffinity Friends
( ) Been To Paris
( ) Been To Spain
( ) Been On A Plane
( ) Thrown Up From Drinking
SO FAR: 7
Level 5
(x) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been Snowboarding
(x) Met Someone Through Internet
( ) Been in a Mosh Pit
SO FAR: 9
Level 6
( ) Been In An Abusive Relationship
( ) Taken Pain Killers
( ) Liked/loved Someone Who You Cant Have
(x) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(x) Made A Snow Angel
SO FAR: 11
Level 7
( ) Had A Tea Party
(x) Flown A Kite
(x) Built A Sand Castle
( ) Gone mudding
( ) Played Dress Up
SO FAR: 13
Level 8
(x) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
(x) Gone Sledding
(x) Cheated While Playing A Game
(x) Been Lonely
(x) Fallen Asleep At Work / School
SO far: 18
Level 10
(x) Watched The Sun Set
( ) Felt An Earthquake
( ) Killed A Snake
SO FAR: 19
Level 11
(x) Been Tickled
( ) Been Robbed / Vandalized
(x) Been cheated on
(x) Been Misunderstood
SO FAR: 22
Level 12
(x) Won A Contest
( ) Been Suspended From School
(x) Had Detention
(x) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident
SO FAR: 25
Level 13
( ) Had / Have Braces
(x) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) Danced in the moonlight
SO FAR : 27
Level 14
(x) Hated The Way You Look
(x) Witnessed A Crime
( ) Pole Danced
(x) Questioned Your Heart
( ) Been obsessed with post-it-notes
SO FAR: 30
Level 15
(x) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
( ) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
(x) Swam In The Ocean
(x) Felt Like You Were Dying
SO FAR: 33
Level 16
(x) Cried Yourself To Sleep
( ) Played Cops And Robbers
( ) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers
(x) Sang Karaoke
( ) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins
SO FAR: 35
Level 17
(x) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(x) Made Prank Phone Calls
( ) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
(x) Kissed In The Rain
SO FAR: 37
Level 18
(x) Written A Letter To Santa Claus
(x) Watched The Sun Set/ sun rise With Someone You Care/Cared About
(x) Blown Bubbles
(x) Made A Bonfire On The Beach Or Anywhere
SO FAR: 41
Level 19
( ) Crashed A Party
( ) Have Traveled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
(x) Had A Wish Come True
( ) Been Humped By A Monkey (online counts? <..<)
SO FAR: 42
Level 20
( ) Worn Pearls
(x) Jumped Off A Bridge
(x) Screamed "Penis" or "Vagina"
( ) Swam With Dolphins
SO FAR: 44
Level 21
(x) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/ice Cubes
( ) Kicked A Fish (WAT?)
( ) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
(x) Sat On A Roof Top and watched the stars
SO FAR: 46
Level 22
(x) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
( ) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
( ) Talked On The Phone For More Than 6 Hours
(x) Recently stayed up for a while talking to someone you care about
SO FAR: 48
Level 23
(x) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
(x) Climbed A Tree
( ) Had/Been In A Tree House
(x) Been scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone
SO FAR: 51
Level 24
( ) Believed In Ghosts
( ) Have had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes
( ) Gone Streaking
( ) Visited Jail
SO FAR: 51
Level 25
( ) Played Chinese Chicken
(x) Been Pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
( ) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
( ) Broken A Bone
(x) Been Easily Amused
SO FAR: 53
Level 26
(x) Caught A Fish Then Ate It Later
(x) Made A Porn Video/got asked to make one
(x) Caught A Butterfly
(x) Laughed So Hard You Cried
(x) Cried So Hard You Laughed
SO FAR: 58
Level 27
(x) Mooned/Flashed Someone
(x) Had Someone Moon/Flash You
(x) Cheated On A Test
(x) Forgotten Someone's Name
( ) French Braided Someones Hair
( ) Gone Skinny Dipping (Hot tub counts!)
(x) Been Kicked Out Of Your House
SO FAR: 63
Level 28
(x) Rode A Roller Coaster
( ) Went Scuba-Diving/Snorkeling
(x) Had A Cavity
(x) Black-Mailed Someone
( ) Been Black Mailed
SO FAR: 66
Level 29
(x) Been Used
(x) Fell Going Up The Stairs
(x) Licked A Cat
(x) Bitten Someone
(x) Licked Someone
SO FAR: 71
Level 30
( ) Been shot at/or at gunpoint
( ) Had sex in the rain
( ) Flattened someones tires
(x) Rode in a car/truck until the gas light came on
(x) Got five dollars or less worth of gas
TOTAL: 73
Re-post this with the title:
I've Done __ of the 120 stupidest things. (with your total in that blank spot.)
Level 1
(x) Smoked A Cigarette
( ) Smoked A Cigar
( ) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
SO FAR: 1
Level 2
(x) Are / Been In Love
(x) Dumped someone
(x) Been Fired
( ) Been In A Fist Fight
SO FAR: 4
Level 3
( ) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(x) Skipped Class
(x) Slept With A Co-worker
( ) Seen Someone / Something Die
SO FAR: 6
Level 4
(x) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your Furaffinity Friends
( ) Been To Paris
( ) Been To Spain
( ) Been On A Plane
( ) Thrown Up From Drinking
SO FAR: 7
Level 5
(x) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been Snowboarding
(x) Met Someone Through Internet
( ) Been in a Mosh Pit
SO FAR: 9
Level 6
( ) Been In An Abusive Relationship
( ) Taken Pain Killers
( ) Liked/loved Someone Who You Cant Have
(x) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(x) Made A Snow Angel
SO FAR: 11
Level 7
( ) Had A Tea Party
(x) Flown A Kite
(x) Built A Sand Castle
( ) Gone mudding
( ) Played Dress Up
SO FAR: 13
Level 8
(x) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
(x) Gone Sledding
(x) Cheated While Playing A Game
(x) Been Lonely
(x) Fallen Asleep At Work / School
SO far: 18
Level 10
(x) Watched The Sun Set
( ) Felt An Earthquake
( ) Killed A Snake
SO FAR: 19
Level 11
(x) Been Tickled
( ) Been Robbed / Vandalized
(x) Been cheated on
(x) Been Misunderstood
SO FAR: 22
Level 12
(x) Won A Contest
( ) Been Suspended From School
(x) Had Detention
(x) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident
SO FAR: 25
Level 13
( ) Had / Have Braces
(x) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) Danced in the moonlight
SO FAR : 27
Level 14
(x) Hated The Way You Look
(x) Witnessed A Crime
( ) Pole Danced
(x) Questioned Your Heart
( ) Been obsessed with post-it-notes
SO FAR: 30
Level 15
(x) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
( ) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
(x) Swam In The Ocean
(x) Felt Like You Were Dying
SO FAR: 33
Level 16
(x) Cried Yourself To Sleep
( ) Played Cops And Robbers
( ) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers
(x) Sang Karaoke
( ) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins
SO FAR: 35
Level 17
(x) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(x) Made Prank Phone Calls
( ) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
(x) Kissed In The Rain
SO FAR: 37
Level 18
(x) Written A Letter To Santa Claus
(x) Watched The Sun Set/ sun rise With Someone You Care/Cared About
(x) Blown Bubbles
(x) Made A Bonfire On The Beach Or Anywhere
SO FAR: 41
Level 19
( ) Crashed A Party
( ) Have Traveled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
(x) Had A Wish Come True
( ) Been Humped By A Monkey (online counts? <..<)
SO FAR: 42
Level 20
( ) Worn Pearls
(x) Jumped Off A Bridge
(x) Screamed "Penis" or "Vagina"
( ) Swam With Dolphins
SO FAR: 44
Level 21
(x) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/ice Cubes
( ) Kicked A Fish (WAT?)
( ) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
(x) Sat On A Roof Top and watched the stars
SO FAR: 46
Level 22
(x) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
( ) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
( ) Talked On The Phone For More Than 6 Hours
(x) Recently stayed up for a while talking to someone you care about
SO FAR: 48
Level 23
(x) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
(x) Climbed A Tree
( ) Had/Been In A Tree House
(x) Been scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone
SO FAR: 51
Level 24
( ) Believed In Ghosts
( ) Have had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes
( ) Gone Streaking
( ) Visited Jail
SO FAR: 51
Level 25
( ) Played Chinese Chicken
(x) Been Pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
( ) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
( ) Broken A Bone
(x) Been Easily Amused
SO FAR: 53
Level 26
(x) Caught A Fish Then Ate It Later
(x) Made A Porn Video/got asked to make one
(x) Caught A Butterfly
(x) Laughed So Hard You Cried
(x) Cried So Hard You Laughed
SO FAR: 58
Level 27
(x) Mooned/Flashed Someone
(x) Had Someone Moon/Flash You
(x) Cheated On A Test
(x) Forgotten Someone's Name
( ) French Braided Someones Hair
( ) Gone Skinny Dipping (Hot tub counts!)
(x) Been Kicked Out Of Your House
SO FAR: 63
Level 28
(x) Rode A Roller Coaster
( ) Went Scuba-Diving/Snorkeling
(x) Had A Cavity
(x) Black-Mailed Someone
( ) Been Black Mailed
SO FAR: 66
Level 29
(x) Been Used
(x) Fell Going Up The Stairs
(x) Licked A Cat
(x) Bitten Someone
(x) Licked Someone
SO FAR: 71
Level 30
( ) Been shot at/or at gunpoint
( ) Had sex in the rain
( ) Flattened someones tires
(x) Rode in a car/truck until the gas light came on
(x) Got five dollars or less worth of gas
TOTAL: 73
Re-post this with the title:
I've Done __ of the 120 stupidest things. (with your total in that blank spot.)
Finally some breathing room
Posted 17 years agoWell the wedding is finally over. My brother and his wife are out and now there's nothing left for me to worry about. I'm hoping to get a new story up by the end next week. It might be one of my collaborations or one I'll make up myself. Actually, considering I don't have a real bio up for me maybe I'll work on that first.
The Human and Furry parts of Mereck
Posted 17 years agoHUMAN QUESTIONS
-What's your real name?
Josh
-Gender?
Male
-Orientation?
Bi-Curious.
-Race?
Mutt, I have a little of almost everything
-What's your favorite genre of music.
Techno
-What's your favorite band/musical artist?
Right now, Linkin Park
-What's your worst peeve?
Ignorance. I hate people being really stupid just because they don't want to think and make up their own mind.
-Are you doing well in school?
I hope so, I graduated
-Do you have a religion?
I'm technically LDS, but I'm really just a spiritual person that believes that we should enjoy out lives and live it to the best
-What turns you on?
*blush* Um...I like...naughty roleplaying. Plus I enjoy being touched and talked dirty too. Actually I'm very easy to turn on.
-Do you consider yourself a whore?
Hard to be a whore when you don't have people to whore with, but yeah.
-Do you have a favorite movie?
No, I have many favorite movies
-Funniest thing you've ever said?
Um....pass?
-What do you eat?
What don't I eat?
-Are you flexible?
somewhat, I should take a little yoga *grin*
-What's your favorite video game?
Right now....Final Fantasy XI
-Do you have a crush on anyone?
Hehehe, a few people
-What's the most embarrassing moment you can remember?
Answering this thing truthfully?
-Are you a (gulp) myspace whore?
Nope, I have an account, but I don't go crazy with it
FURRY QUESTIONS
-What's your furry name?
Mereck
-Species?
Anthro Dragoness Herm
-If you could describe your furry in one word, what would it be?
Persona
-Does your fur have a side-story?
Indeed, and I'm working on it
-Is your fur a whore?
Well, it is a part of me *blush*
-Does your fur have any traits that resemble yourself?
I would say attitude. How I'm a kind and gentle person. I guess you'll have to know me to see it.
-What's your fur's favorite outfit?
Hehehe, birthday suit
-Describe your furs overall personality in a few words.
Kind, sexy, playful, naughty, white, erotic
-How often do you RP using your fur?
A lot. I usually don't roleplay with anything else.
-Does your fur have any weapons?
Claws. and hir own naughty skills
-How does your fur where his/her hair?
Long and a little wavy, keeping it seductive.
-What's your real name?
Josh
-Gender?
Male
-Orientation?
Bi-Curious.
-Race?
Mutt, I have a little of almost everything
-What's your favorite genre of music.
Techno
-What's your favorite band/musical artist?
Right now, Linkin Park
-What's your worst peeve?
Ignorance. I hate people being really stupid just because they don't want to think and make up their own mind.
-Are you doing well in school?
I hope so, I graduated
-Do you have a religion?
I'm technically LDS, but I'm really just a spiritual person that believes that we should enjoy out lives and live it to the best
-What turns you on?
*blush* Um...I like...naughty roleplaying. Plus I enjoy being touched and talked dirty too. Actually I'm very easy to turn on.
-Do you consider yourself a whore?
Hard to be a whore when you don't have people to whore with, but yeah.
-Do you have a favorite movie?
No, I have many favorite movies
-Funniest thing you've ever said?
Um....pass?
-What do you eat?
What don't I eat?
-Are you flexible?
somewhat, I should take a little yoga *grin*
-What's your favorite video game?
Right now....Final Fantasy XI
-Do you have a crush on anyone?
Hehehe, a few people
-What's the most embarrassing moment you can remember?
Answering this thing truthfully?
-Are you a (gulp) myspace whore?
Nope, I have an account, but I don't go crazy with it
FURRY QUESTIONS
-What's your furry name?
Mereck
-Species?
Anthro Dragoness Herm
-If you could describe your furry in one word, what would it be?
Persona
-Does your fur have a side-story?
Indeed, and I'm working on it
-Is your fur a whore?
Well, it is a part of me *blush*
-Does your fur have any traits that resemble yourself?
I would say attitude. How I'm a kind and gentle person. I guess you'll have to know me to see it.
-What's your fur's favorite outfit?
Hehehe, birthday suit
-Describe your furs overall personality in a few words.
Kind, sexy, playful, naughty, white, erotic
-How often do you RP using your fur?
A lot. I usually don't roleplay with anything else.
-Does your fur have any weapons?
Claws. and hir own naughty skills
-How does your fur where his/her hair?
Long and a little wavy, keeping it seductive.
No new stories?
Posted 17 years agoSorry about the lack of updates recently. I've been working on a few stories but I also got a hold of Okami for the Wii. I hate to admit it but it's very addicting. I'm having so much fun playing it I keep losing track of time and forgetting to finish my stories. The lure....it's so great. I've missed this kind of fun gaming. I promise to get a few stories up before the end of the month though. Shouldn't take me that long to finish Okami. ^^ Hurray Wolf Goddess!
unwelcome friendliness?
Posted 17 years agoMan, today just isn't a good day for me. I try to be friendly to my Ex who is having a tough time right now. She ends up attacking me even though all I said was sorry, and managed to even get one of my friends mad at me. I'm trying to explain what happened, but I have this bad feeling it's just going to slowly get worse and I'll end up with less friends than when I started.
What's really driving me crazy is I'm trying to keep calm about this and not let my emotions get out of control, but it's really hard when all this suddenly happens out of nowhere especially from just saying sorry.
Am I being too sensitive? Or am I a jerk and don't even know it?
What's really driving me crazy is I'm trying to keep calm about this and not let my emotions get out of control, but it's really hard when all this suddenly happens out of nowhere especially from just saying sorry.
Am I being too sensitive? Or am I a jerk and don't even know it?
Need to help a friend
Posted 17 years ago http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/384488/
My friend Fortune Fox is in trouble and needs everyone's help. Please lend an ear to his problem, and help him if you can.
My friend Fortune Fox is in trouble and needs everyone's help. Please lend an ear to his problem, and help him if you can.
