I tried so hard... But I can't live like this without ways to cope.. so I'm down to the last thing that I know of.

I don't have friends anymore. I don't have family anymore. I'm too weak to function normally so things that strong people expect me to do.. I just can't do them without help.. And so I'm judged for it.

I'm told I just have to take care of myself... Even after I've tried so hard to hold things back and not depend on others so much, I'm STILL told, ESPECIALLY when I NEED some fucking help, that I just have to GO IT ALONE.

SO DON'T FUCKING JUDGE ME FOR MY WAYS TO COPE.

I don't make them often

But I just told one now

I'm not sure whether

The lie was for my benefit

Or for his.

I want to be rescued,

But I also want someone

To come to me for their

Benefit, not just mine.

I feel guilty for taking so much

When it seems that it's such a

sacrifice.

I hope I never wake up. Literally.