Well. Told myself this would never happen. But here I am, ranting on a forum where no one really knows me. Figure I may as well.

I am up for charges against me that will involve life in prison if they go through. These charges are brought about against me by a liar, someone who has bent the truth and managed to take advantage of my mental disabilities to paint me the source of these problems. Im broke. I have a court defender who's over worked and inept. I really don't know what to do or say anymore so I am really just going to say what I feel I can say here as at least one piece of what went on from my standpoint as no one will listen to me but a few people.

These charges are being laid against me from 2003 to 2006. I was thousands of miles away, but due to being so long ago the evidince of this is varied in level and quality. I am being accused of a CSC charge against someone who is related to me by marriage, and the fun thing. I was not living there during these charges against me. The accuser has also lied about the residence they lived in for part of the charges, as well as lied about another person who lived -with- me during a portion of these charges. Their only evidince against me is a statment given under false pretenses but due to my brain issues the court defender is.. wooden faced. These charges have no real evidince, but I cannot afford a real lawyer, my god. I need like ten grand, and Im unemployed and no real hope to find the cash. No real aid, we had to sell our truck to get me out of jail. Sigh. It just gets worse from there, this is a small crooked town with all the lawyers and judges working with each other, we're pretty sure the cop involved in this is a neighbor of the person who pushed my accuser to do this, and has used this knowledge against me. Its a case of small town wnating to get its name on the map. They do not care if i have over a dozen witnesses, I have stubs and stamps and documentation, they do not care that I can contact everyone I know and knew during then.

There are CSC charges already filed and a report, about the person who -actually- molested my accuser during this time. The person who was -related to her by blood- who did this, but becuase he was a minor at the time, it is somehow my fault. I am scared out of my mind, having flashbacks near constantly. I am terrified i will be thrown in jail due to lies and pressure. My defender has done nothing to contact anyone, has done nothing to tell me anything good, has been dismissive and too willing to bend to the prosocution.

I am utterly out of ideas. Ive looked into everything from legal loans to other help, none of it helps. contacted the attourny general. no help there. need a bank loan, we have moeny coming in but not for like another five to six months due to a estate settlement, and that money then wont help us now. Ive got so much to prove i wasnt there, but no one in this small town system will help me. Im at my ropes end and if this goes poorly i will literally be at my ropes end.

Talked to several lawyers who an help. but they need what we dont have right now, money -.-. I was supposed to get engaged on the 14th of feb, instead i was in a jail cell. This accuser is doign this to tear our family apart, becuase she wants to -protect- the people who actually molested her, get my family out of hers so her and her molesters can live together without my family around. All while her and the one who pushed her to do this sit in thier house laughing at the destruction they are causing. Having faith, praying and hoping the system works really dont matter when it comes down to issues like this. Nothing ive ever done compares to this problem as it lays. Its so insane, even if i manage to survive this, and we dont know how i will. we will have to move and we have like no real resources, no real places, we have nothing. we're down to i dont even know. and atop all of this, we're not sure if we will have a place to live soon. due to landlords changing hands and new rental rules about price hikes and changes.

i could have two weeks, a month, two months. either way the money we have coming in wont be here fast enough. its nothing but uncertanties and fear. ive spent so many times hiding in the bedroom afraid that a knock at the door will be the last i hear. and why? because in this society, these charges are big business, big media and big money for goverments, they dont really care who did what, they just want to be paid for catching bad guys.. im not a bad guy, not so much as a speeding ticket. -.-

no real hope, not really holding out for anything but a quick end if i have too. i dont want too. but as its been said, give me freedom or give me death. For now, i am waiting, watching and doing what i can, but feeling fully that the protection i have for this, will not help me, by the gods if i had a friend who was a lawyer, hah.. yeah.

don't really know how to end this. dont really know what to do or say. ive been not sleeping not eating barely breathing, just treating every day like my last meal.


below is a link to our blog and stuff that we have going to detail the horror i am going through..

http://smalltowninjustice.blogspot.com/ not really sure what to do with my life. all i know is we need like 2500 to pay for a real lawyer and im staring down the barrel of losing my mind every day.

Welp.

Firstly my RPG system is in the final draft stages, considering either a Kickstarter or microprinting through a local company. 8 years of work roughly from 2002 to now, and its all but done, all the co creators are on board and everythings going well. So thats good, but it may all be worthless.

The computer I've been doing this on is a refurbished HP Compaq 6910p business class laptop, In the.. few years now i've had it, it is simply falling apart.

Theres massive heat damage to the entire laptop, the screen is dark now only ets to half brightness. The keys are falling off, 2 of the 3 usb ports don't work anymore. The battery is completely dead, power plug port is worn out. Hard drive has been replaced, twice. Screens been replaced once already. Gets hot under the DVD-ROM and memory sections even when idling. The control strip at the top is completely dead, the lights flas on and off when using the number key. Pressing capslock causes them to flash and the volume goes up and down. Theres missing screws, the touchpad is , well I don't know what is wrong with it but it no longer works, enabling it causes the mouse to run around the screen.

Had money saved up to get a newer computer, dual or tri core with some kind of on board video instead of this outdated radeon x2300, that money had to go to a trip to texas for my GF's mothers funeral, now we're -700 in the hole and no idea how to mitigate or undo the expense lost due to car rental places, mean family and so on. The money for a laptop, post trip is gone, the cash for the trip is gone and the backup fund is gone. I am literally counting the days until the system undergoes a total failure and crashes.

The desktop I had, was sold to buy parts for the car, which ended up breaking down anyways a few months later. So that backup rig is out.

I have a horrendous pain in my kidneys, leg weakness, and unless its dim in the room i have to wear sunglasses due to having my eyes cooked by the sun. also GF and I have been coughing out dust and grime since we left the state, shes got a fever and I feel pretty ill myself, sleep pattern is heavily messed up due to the car trips and caffeine spiking. Shes got one messed up leg and tension soreness. Mild sunburns all around and other possible issues.

At least the RPG is completed, not that I have a means to do anything with it even though it's been sent to a few people, if the computer dies all the work dies too. FML.

Thinking of putting a 3.5 dungeons and dragons game together, I am looking for 3-4 people who meet the following criteria.

1. Not a rules lawyer, they're guidlines, not written in stone. story trumps rules.
2. Familiar with 3.5 dungeons and dragons, capable of playing with variant rules.
3. Over 18, all of my games are M rated.
4. Ability to use Glittercomm/skype (for text chat/ftp not voice.)
5. Ability to handle dark horror themes/mature themes/etc.

If interested PM me or comment on this journal and maybe we can talk.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dl.....m=320724432198 got to get money togther for van repairs got to replace timing belt, rear brakes, rotors, cylinders, pads, valve of some kind in engine and i dont know what else.. anyone interestd, make a bid

I am looking to sell my 2nd gen senes, two controllers and 20+ tapes, many rares in the collection, for 350+ the cost of SnH. They all work, just I have no time any longer to enjoy or use the console, plus I really need the money to pay bills.
I can be contacted at coppergaugewire[at]gmail.com put in the header Snes for sale so I know what to look for. Cash or verified money order would be preferred as Im too poor to have a bank account or a paypal, yes, I suck.


http://www.videogamepricecharts.com.....-and-butt-head
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http://www.videogamepricecharts.com.....i-collection-1

Christmas is ghey. and cold and snowy and icy.

Well my aging tower is now squeaking.. The fans at least, this may be bad o.o >.>. Or some random food lump was sucked in some how, since the side of my pc is missing due to heat. WooOooo... old computer hardware, or.. aging at least. bleegh.

Please feel free to post this in your own journal if you feel the same way I do even if it is not about Second Life but about posting on here in general.

Second Life:

Okay it keeps coming up, over and over and over.. This thing against SL. Look.

1: people build in there, and it takes a long time just like drawing.

2: it is a 3d world just like Daz or Poser or any thing else you use.

3: yes people shouldn't post things they haven't made or modified, but they should still be allowed to post. Art is Art.

4: FA is one of the very few places furs can advertise about their creations on SL and get it to the audience who will most appreciate it.

5: Everything is a learning environment be it if you draw, work in flash, if you write in text. All artistic skills and explorations should be supported no matter what they are. If we refuse to allow new media then we are as biased against each other as those outside the fandom.

6: Human nature is to tinker and create, not everyone can draw not everyone can write but if someone can find something they can do. It should be allowed to be displayed, instead of people screaming 'no' for no real reason.

7: Everything must be give and take, no matter what you do, if you do it and learn, then it is good. There are people who can barely draw and yet they constantly post. There are those who should not be singing, but they do. Well, it is the same for Second Life or for any artistic idea, if you create you want to get some kind of recognition for it.

8: Can't we all just enjoy the porn and the non porn together in peace already.

Gods I hate people who lie all the time, or pretend to be one thing while using private channels to do things that are quite different with other people.. both on SL and on muck and on other games ive been on over the years.. what the hell is wrong with people.. isnt there anyone out there that can be freaking honest and upright with people and share things without lying and stabbing in the back.. SO damn tired of people who I let close doing crap to more or less say 'well thats nice but GO TO HELL' oh I love, you, and you and him., and her and hir and her and him.. but I wont tell you.. instead ill leave hints.. or better yet, ill elt you get cose to me, and then we get nice and friendly for almost 2 years then you'll laugh in my face and call everything Id o and everything I am a joke and that nothing matters but what you think you want, even though you don't know what you want.. BLAH!!!!!!.. So blasted tired of trying.. yeah, sorry I ranted about some things.

Ugh. I hate this month, oh yes I do. I also had more snaps taken but a PC problem caused them to vanish. Im half considering trying to draw, again, slowly, painfully, but yes, my crap back up as need be, maybe. Blegh.. I need more damn booze.

Heya.. like.. i have more watchers, thats cool, sup ya all, etc. Uhm ive been dealing with a lot of RL problems involving VR relationships both on SL and on various Mus bunches of stress and annoying factors, im working on another swath of updates of pics of both me and a couple frineds of mine from SL, so uhm, expect more smut sometime this week i dunno exactly how many ill tag up but theres gonna be a good few, also futzing around with a herm goth human Thing, was going to be neko but eh I got lazy and cheap so ill snap it a bit too. Not dead, just feeling like it.

ZOMG::: PORN.

I found a old old folder (like 1998-2000) back from when I was in school and taking art classes of the stuff I drew becuase I was a pervvy teenager ;D before mummy dearest subjected me to counseling, 'christian interventions' and the like upon finding such folder while snooping in my room; doing a good job of making me all but utterly lose interest in drawing for almost 6 years, to this day I cannot draw a humanoid figure outside of mechanized things without my hands shaking and screwing me up.. Enjoy, laugh, blink.. fap, watever, to mine ancient drawings.

holy damn its been....... long.. long time since ive written here, my DA page gets maor use (leopoldgarrity) (shameless plug) of course thats full of technical things that scare the faint of tail! anways.. uh.. yeah.. SL wise Im willing to take on building commisions so to speak, for cyberized/power armor and maytbe even mechs with the following rules, and also becuase reicently 1: my reason for owning a big ass plot of land changed and 2: I need something to do with my time on there.

Dah Rulez.
1: Building may take anywhere from 4 hours to 4 days depending on what you want, so be paitent.
2: for mechs and armor a fitting of the core parts is needed, IE if im building you armor, I will need you actually There to help with the fitting, so plan for it.
3: Despite my skills, I know I am far from the best builder but I am willing to work cheap, as long as you are paitent I am willing to try to build whatever you want as long as its somewat open to artistic interpreatation.
4: Textureing if needed may be expensive, so either provide your own textures of what you want where, or give me enough information to find what I need to use. (And hope I have the texture or the L for it, or know of a freebie place to snag one)
5: I have only a basic grasp of scripting but I use the ones I do understand in bulding so the armor at least does something or the mech does.
6: Items will be copy/mod no transfer, unless of course a deal is worked out.
7: I DONT DO GUNS. While I will build weaponry if it calls for it, or help with making sidearms they will be decorative only, as theres enough abuse of weapons on SL as is.
8: I (irl) work 4-11PM CTZ Sun-Thursday, so depending on my brain level I may or may not take on work during these days, Fridays and Saturday evening after 12pm CTZ are best times for me.
9: Payment: 1/2 up front the other 1/2 after completion of the project.
10: Multiple builds, one at a time, unless its for a group of people who want the same general build but with one or two differences between each.
11: I have no problem with making mature things, if you want some kinda double cocked cyber herm lizard with eight boobies, well alright but it will take time and your going to have to find someone to script it, or script it yourself.. Or show me how to script said bits and get a huge ass discount on
the build.
12: Prices..

Armor partial(arms, legs, etc.: 350l
Full armor (from head to feet) 475l
Cybernetics/partial armor: 400l.
2m mech scale (about leg high compared to the NS Macro husky) 500L 5m mech (same size as or taller then the NS macro husky) 1000. Costume bits, like cloaks, boots, arm bands, collars, sunglasses, etc. 200-300l.

If interested.. Schwartz Bruder is my name on SL.

anyone konw how toview comments posted? i all but forgot about this place until a few days ago