[yt]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jx96Twg-Aew[/yt]
How I feel right now...

Emotionally...
Just need a bag of weeeeeeeeeeed!!!!
*Goes back to hiding*

It's cause this shitty new phones bein a biiiiitch. :/

Over the past two years ive become addicted to various substances. The two drugs of choice being meth and marijuana.
Im undergoing getting into an outpatient program. Those addictions ate up all my creativity and im barely scraping by with the art im doing now. Addictions suck, drugs suck, id much rather draw and write and dream. I feel like im on the edge of relapse all the time. If it wasnt for my family, music, writing and honestly the idle sketches of Luka and Moth's friendship, id probably be hitting the streets hard to search out more connects. I wanna build more friendships on this site. Thanks for watching. Your all super neat!
<3 moth

Sapphire eyes burning blue, draw me into their glowing hue. On your heels in hot pursuit, I'm the shadow chasing after you.
Your ivory hair falling long and fair like moon beams around your kindled stare. Sapphire eyes burning in the night,
Like crackling embers of pale blue light.
Oh, how I long to know what it's like, to hold your hand in mine. To feel the heat of the silent flame that flickers in your eyes, or to know the warmth of your heart inside. You're the loneliest light lost in the sky, leading me through this endless night.
So softly to you I'll sing, in this secret place no one else can be, ill give you all of my everything, lost in this hidden world of our dreams, sapphire eyes burn silently.

We sing another empty melody,
to the loneliness softly beckoning,
in screaming silence deafening,
we are but breathless memories.
Drowning in bottomless darkness deep,
losing ourselves, our identities,
Pulled to pieces by the emptiness
and the weight of it's centrifugal gravity,
the fibers of light from our spirits, unraveling.
We, the ghosts of eroding galaxies,
We, the many wounds in the fabric of reality.
We, the children of the cosmic grave,
star killers, assassin-wraiths, phantom spies,
and shadow blades,
All forfeit the warmth of our skin,
the breath in our lungs
the glow in our eyes,
to walk through the worlds and
leave nothing behind,
to become of the shadows
with no light inside,
this is the life, and Oath of a Scythe.

Immaterial being, naseous restelss thinking,
I am sick to death of believing
that I am anything else but sinking,
head raptured in empty dreaming,
pulse bounding, doubts teeming.
Eyes are screaming, skin is creeping,
No rest for the wicked, with a heart so addicted,
leave me blank and insipid,
can feel the pain, can feel the distance,
can feel the weight of existence
in a place far away from you,
in a world far from the truth,
I don't know what I have left to lose.

Severed spirit from the flesh
pale white vapors reek of death,
in my lungs a poison breath,
acrid chemistry cancerous
Wearing a veil of cigarette smoke,
frail as spiderwebs, faint as hope,
up all night conjuring ghosts
crush my heart and dried up bones
Pounding heart and empty shine,
behind stinging tears in bleeding eyes

Crush a stone to powder fine,
animated with artificial life.
Eyes sleepless sunken and blackened,
stung with the taste of artificial passion.
Crush a stone, sting my nose,
this is how we decompose,
eat a hole with shards of burning
fire, Within the cloudy rocks
of soft numbing desire.
I saw an emptiness in our eyes,
saw the shadow of death
following closely behind,
Falling out of the morning sky,
Yesterday I had flown so high
rocks of glass cut
in a sharp straight lines.
aspirations for the flies
Graze the devils lips,
soar naseous restless & sick
poisoned by the fleeting pleasure of
ephemeral bliss.
Everything so inspired intrigued,
The air as smooth as the smoke I
breathe, body heavy from lack of sleep,
dust scalding and white as bone,
these eyes will never close.

Staring into fathomless blackness,
reducing dreams to ashes,
anesthetize the spirit
with artificial passion.
Soul disfigured
bruised and blackened.
Desires crimson, running deep
heartbeat quickens, losing sleep.
Steal the color from my eyes,
aspirations for the flies,
death is expensive,
so lets sell our lives.
Poisoning a broken heart
graze the devils lips,
biting intravenous kiss,
dying from the sting of
ephemeral bliss.
Bitter rock liquefied
breathing white suicide
smoking seconds of my time,
there is nothing left inside.

Im high on methamphetamine

Breathing fire bitter white,
Lock the doors, turn off the lights,
Ill be up all night,
Tearing your soul apart is a process,
When it comes to that Im an artist.
Never thought id hollow my eyes with
A shadow, never thought id dig a grave
So shallow.
I have a love affair with poisons
I am passionately broken
My heart is stung and choked
With acrid billowing smoke,
I am the punchline of a cosmic joke.

A paranoid fear begins to come,
As walls breathe secrets and speak in tongues. Voices whisper out of the wind,
As I try and cut myself free from my skin.
Birds call my name, while shadows dance unrestrained.
I looked to the eyes of the cosmic artist,
And saw light living swallowed in everlasting darkness.
　I walk down the street and passerby faces change, They twist and they turn, contorted and ugly, voices like knives, loud shrill and disgusting. Whispers answer my every thought, while sleepless phantoms stare at the clock. I asked the light of the cosmic artist, who told me My eyes were the darkness, the stars are my hope, with the Devils fingers curled tight around my throat.

This site is for gags.

And you're a cunt for reading this.

Vacuum space for a chest,
I've been clothed head to toe
in the adornments of death,
turn left, walk ten paces west,
I pause with bated breath,
& on the horizon
I see your shadow stretch.

I'm the moon in the night
you're the sun in my eyes,
tell me to shed my disguise,
ask me if I'm ready to die,

Vacuum space for a chest,
you took all I had left,
leaving me in emptiness,
I'll fight to my death.

Golden eyes so confident,
Golden eyes so on top of it,
wash your hands of this,
pretend like your innocent.
Well I wear my scars like
twinkling stars, what do you
do with yours?

Wound me more than I'll
wound myself? I'd like to see
you try, & you'd like to see me
lay down and die
Golden eyes,
I'm the bump in the night,
the sting of the knife
waiting here at the end of
your life, wielding a black scythe
reiterating all your lies and tall tales,
when you're choking on your own blood,
then you can tell me how I failed.

For years, I've been in love with a girl that I've almost had the chance to be with. Life's been cruel. My heart....feels like it will always be drowned in misery. I long for a love I cannot have, one that was so close to being in my grasp. But this woman, I will always love her. She has my heart, my tiny pebble heart. I love you beautiful, you are my Dawn, and I am your shadow. But this shadow, is left in darkness, cause your dawn no longer comes over the misty mountains, I am left in the night. I am broken.

"Dead Kin"
And my family would never know the sting
of the devil's intravenous kiss,
or the poison of ephemeral bliss.
No they'll never know the black icy teeth
of the cold, biting their fingers as they long
for a home they cannot go.
And my family they'll never know
what it's like to go from a brother to a ghost,
where the only place you can lay your head,
is on a bed of stones.
Cause well my family their a dead kin,
singing hollow prayers to dead skin,
cause yeah my family's a dead kin,
bring'n up my past sins.
Well sister, hey brother
do you know what its like to suffer
on a bed of stones, broken dreams,
& broken bones?
Well mother, hey father,
have you ever been on the street
to wander? Into the darkest moonless
midnight? Staring longingly into headlights?
Cause yeah my family is a dead kin,
singing their hollow prayers to dead skin,
yeah my family's a dead kin,
reminding me of all my past sins.
Through me away to the tune of their
petty cares and empty prayers.
They wouldn't know a thing,
not a single drop of misery,
I took every shot, every sting,
singing from the pain of a thousand
Broken wings.
Yeah my family's a dead kin,
singing their empty prayers to dead skin,
yeah my family's a dead skin,
drowning me in my past sins.

Lately....or honestly every waking hour, I wish I had a giant wolf friend with a higher I.Q. Than me (which is basically anything above -13, so I'm not asking much.)
To cuddle me for a long time. I need HEALING!!! This last year had been a TRIP!!!! D:

Here it is again yet it stings like the first time, seems it never ends, double nickels on your dime, I thought we were friends, I guess it just depends who you ask
These feelings tend to leave me with a hole in my chest....
- A3

Paint my canvas colorless,
Except for sallow greens greys & yellows
Cause my livers spitting toxins
Cause I'm a dying fellow.
Staring into the blind spot of everyone I know.
You'll never feel, hear, or see it
I am just a ghost.
Wreathing his fingers into
Something on the other-side of natural,
Grasping on a cancer that I can share with you,
Another page of death, & crack smoke blown in your fuckin face.
You won't see it coming not even God can keep you safe.
I lie here in my misfortunate ROT
I lie here wide awake,
Eyes hollow & discolored scour the dilapidated textures of the ceilings above, & tile piece that has come undone, every song unsung,
Every relationship severed
Mutilated affections,
Lie in the bathtub DISMEMBERED.
Cause broken hearts don't care for much,
But your visceral organs all hung up like decorations for a holiday that doesn't exist.
Like Christ said,
& I've blasphemed the Holy Spirit,
A man who eats with dirty hands will stay clean,
Oh but how blackened my heart is,
When all it vomits are nightmares obscene,
From the spirit who feast on mortal thoughts, here I am in smoke so black I can't hear my thoughts.
See me rotting in the flames,
Cause in a World of pain,
I. Called. Your. Name.

So life update. This entails my plans on how I'm getting off the street. So I became homeless last year, been in and out of housing stayed at missions, shelters, drug rehab facilities. I'll admit this year has been anything but boring. I'm going to be working with the California Conservation Core.
They pay you minimum wage 9$ hour to learn a trade & 100$ an hour when your called out to a fire which can last up to two weeks. As well as get you hooked up with a 7k scholarship to go to school. Max you can work for them is three years but you walk away with a lot. Job skills, hefty savings account, college education & connections. They specialize mainly in outdoorsy activities. I'm interested in a culinary course. Had a meeting with a nice gentlemen who works for the CCC Caleb, teddy bear kinda guy. Showed me all the details, there's a residential facility in Fortuna in the northwestern coastline. I'd be mainly working in a state of the art stainless steel kitchen, learning all sorts of stuff, & building salmon ladders & cleaning up the coastline. Praying all goes well, heaven knows this street life gets challenging.

All I can say is this experience has toughened me up CONSIDERABLY.

[yt]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HtkGluLhnGU[/yt]

Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.
Cause, science.

Are these sidewalks that I walk
As cracked and discolored as my heart is?
All my hopes and dreams have been discarded,
& at the sight of trouble all my guardian angels have departed.
These street lights bleed light,
That's about as bright as my carrion eyes. Dull with no shine,
I walk around this town blistered, bruised & hungry all the time.

I've a habit of running away,
I've a habit of cursing your name,
I've been running on fumes,
I've been running into flames.
I've been running out of breath,
Chasing an early grave, and a kiss from death.
I've been running out of hope,
Altering brain chemistry at an attempt to cope,
I've been higher than the Hubble telescope.
Spending every minute in a cloud of smoke,
And a shot of the whitest shade of dope.

The devil kisses my veins with the lips of a dirty needle. And all my worries disappear, so it seems.
As he makes love to my blood with methamphetamines.
And not but five seconds after,
I'm induced with a bout of artificial laughter
My flesh is crawling,
As my thoughts keep falling
Dropping like dead flies from my mind. Is there salvation in this rock so white?

Starving, deprived, could you spend some more time?
I need you more than sunlight
I need you more than the stars in the sky
I need you more than air
I need you in this broken world that just doesn't care
You light my world aglow
Directed my path right back home.
I may walk the streets on my own,
But I am never all alone.
Best friend who breathed the life into my lungs,
Painter of every sunrise & sunset
I want you more than my dope and cigarettes
A love fathomless like the depths of the heavens you're expanding
I've been down and out
I've fallen too many times to count,
But you have always been my safe landing.
Our conversations, lets never be silent,
Our adventures lets never deny them.
You're all I want, a single moment more, but you never leave, even when I slam the door.
You're the reason I get out of bed
The reason this blood is red.
Sometimes I find myself swimming in a miasma of worthless thoughts
Sometimes I burn bridges and then wish that I'd not; but you revive all the things I buried alive
You held me, while I held a serrated kitchen knife
I tried to end it too many times
But you saved my life.
I gave you hate and selfishness
You gave me faith and happiness.
I always believed there was something more, but no one said it would be as amazing as you,
You took the weight of my agony, my misery, you harrowed my own personal hell, and picked me up from where I fell.
You make my fears evaporate like morning fog,
You chase away every demon until there gone, you are my reason, you are my song. I can't really sleep, cause I'd rather talk to you all night long.