I hit like... almost no panels all con, got too wrapped up just hanging out and EATING. *flops over and dies cause he gained like 10 pounds* Met a couple awesome furs and wound up staying sober for the majority of the con so I call it an overall win. I'm still trying to come down from the whole experience so it might be bedtime again. *flops over in place until he can find some caffeine*

At furry fiesta after a very stressful drive. Waiting to check in. *squees * nothing like seeing a suit before we even park.

Stole this off a friend on FA, thought it'd be fun to see how many people actually respond XD
You know what to do.

WOULD YOU.....
[_] Lock me in your room and take advantage of me?
[_] lick my cheek?
[_] miss me if we went out then broke up?
[_] dance with me?
[_] let me make you breakfast?
[_] tap me on the a**?
[_] help me with homework?
[_] tickle me to death?
[_] let me tickle you?
[_] stick up for me if i was being put down?
[_] caress my body?
[_] play strip poker with me?
[_] say yes if i asked you out?
[_] let me wear your pants?
[_] get wasted with me?
[_] instant message me?
[_] greet me in public?
[_] hang out with me?
[_] bring me around your friends?

DO YOU...
[_] think im cute?
[_] think im hot?
[_] want to kiss me?
[_] want to cuddle with me?
[_] want to hook up with me?

ARE WE...
[_] acquaintances?
[_] friends?
[_] in a relationship?
[_] gonna have kids?

AM I...
[_] smart?
[_] cute?
[_] funny?
[_] cool?
[_] lovable?
[_] adorable?
[_] compassionate?
[_] annoying?
[_] great to be with?
[_] attractive?
[_] mean?
[_] odd?

HAVE YOU EVER...
[_] thought about me?
[_] thought there might be an "us"?
[_] thought about hookin' up with me?
[_] found yourself wanting a kiss from me?
[_] wished i were there?
[_] grabbed me?
[_] had a crush on me?
[_] idolized me?
[_] wanted my number?
[_] had a dream about me?
[_] been distracted by me?

ARE YOU...
[_] happy you know me?
[_] mad at me?
[_] thinkin' bout me?
[_] going to repost this in your journal so that i will return the favor

Yup... Still here

um... yeah, I'm still alive and stuff... didn't realize I hadn't made a journal in over 9 months... really hasn't been anything going on to speak of... been working my craptastic job steadily. I dunno, I'm pretty boring aside from looking to start making fursuits... hopefully.

eh, I'm prolly gonna be kinda quiet this week... spend a lot of time in bed. you see... I work at walmart and this would be the week before blitz (black Friday) if you need to know why this is so much crap for me, go out behind any of your local wal-marts and you'll see that large trailers have magically appeared... this is the overflow from our backrooms in preparation for this one single day... granted I do love blitz... it's absolute madness *giggles and gives an evil grin* but yeah... four mare days of suck till I go on my days off and return to that single crazy-ass day

So... the suit... it is done <3 the thing I've wanted since I got into the furry fandom at age 12 is finally done. I no longer have to just sit back and watch those crazy fursuiters cause I ish a suiter now! and ish all  Merageshu's fault X3 she's so awesome... just gotta get my paws on some of the pictures and such... and now for the hours of shedding!

edit: link! http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4666272/
this was right after we got the body suit done, we've got the couple little problems resolved and I hadn't brushed the seams yet so... XP

well... let's see... where do I start about this amazing person that just kinda walked back into my life? She's beautiful and wonderful and amazing, she likes to nibble which I quite enjoy <3 she loves me for me and I live her for her. She doesn't live a million miles away (although it's far enough to keep contact down way below what I'd like) but that's awright, I'm sure we'll work something out before long. She's bubbly and happy and cheerful and just makes me smile to be around her. She totally seems to like my body (although I'm not sure why) and I totally think that she the last one... I don't think she'll ever earn the title "ex" *wanders around, looking a bit lost and giggling* now... where is she... ohyeah *pounces on the wofitty* yay for Azriel!

yeah, I'm shrinking myself again... been just kinda of thinking about things the past few days and came up with a bit that I know about myself:
1. I constantly try and carry the weight of the world on my shoulders, I just can't seem to convince myself that I can't make everyone happy.
2. I hate how big I am, it seems to make me seem scary to others
3. I love to be held more than anything else in the world, it makes me feel safe
4. I tend to beat myself up a lot when I make mistakes, especially ones made when I'm not thinking correctly
5. I've completely lost contact with my family even though we live in the same house
6. I'll jump at the chance to help someone else, but often forget to even buy myself food
7. I feel really bad when I pass by the guy selling newspapers on the corner without buying one
8. I have a hard time changing myself without help
9. I like wearing collars just for the sake of having one on
10. I hate myself for being a hypocrite all the time
11. I need to learn to tell people what's wrong with me more often than just trying to draw attention to myself
12. I have childhood issues because nobody ever listened to me
13. I hate wearing clothes... especially shoes
14. I like making others feel good, mostly by giving massages
15. I seem to like the idea of sex moreso than the actual act... I tend to be very awkward in such situations
16. I wish I would start writing again, but only seem to be able to do so when I'm in a loving relationship
17. I keep hoping I'll find a dominate figure to help me change myself to stop being so abrasive
18. I curse a lot and really hate it
19. I cry a lot when I observe myself
20. I don't think I've ever been mad at someone more than a couple hours, after that I'm usually standing back to see what went wrong
21. I blame myself more often than I should
22. I don't really feel at home anywhere anymore
23. I sleep more than I should
24. I doubt everything
25. I wish I could just give up on love, but I'm addicted to the idea of having a single person who's life I can try and make as good as possible... but that's probably not what love is...

well, made an ass of myself again, guess I'm pretty good at that by now. anywho... done being pissed at a couple different people so... >.< time for apologies and such. I've got a couple things I've got to work on to keep this crap from happening again. aand... I think that's it... yeah.

really don't expect anyone out there to read this or even care, if you hate hearing people bitch about life than go back now, in fact, please don't read this unless you actually care about me (again, really shouldn't be anyone)

I've always been someone that tries his best to make others happy. I somehow convinced myself a long time ago that making other happy made me happy... such really isn't the case. looking back at my past reflections on myself I thought I'd be happy if someone took care of me a little, maybe held me close from time to time to give me that warm, glowy feeling... all that's bullshit too. I finally figured it out... I want someone to genuinely care about me. And I want them to care just because they care about me, not because I buy them things or help them out of tough situations as I've done purely out of habit my entire life. I've kind of known about this problem for a long time, thus why I originally wanted a dominant figure that would ease me out of it. I actually googled how to be happy once, and at the top of the first result was step one: don't be a people-pleaser... but that's all I've been my entire life... I can't help it, it's just how I am...

I'm sick... I wanna be better... but I need help...

eh... kinda took a long look at my life, and I think I came up with my problem.... I'm too damn old for my age. looked at where I was going and what I was doing and realized that I've just been taking things way too seriously for too long. Kinda blame my parents for part of it, then again, I guess i was the one to listen to them a bit too well. Anyway, I'm turning over a new leaf and am going to try and enjoy life instead of doing what I've been doing. I'm only 20 for Christ's sake... I really should act like it.

work's finally gotten to me, I get stressed out and aggravated at everything now, and I have no outlet... sat around a bit and tried to figure out what I enjoy doing and honestly I just don't know anymore. I hate sitting on the computer, but there's noting else to do. school registration is in a week and I know if I throw schoolwork on top of this mess I'm gonna break down all together. don't worry though... I'm not suicidal again... I've got friends that need me and other things I promised people so really it's my not wanting to break promises keeping me alive right now... I really don't know what's gonna happen from here, but at least I asked for help this time...

just... feeling kinda shitty all of a sudden. Iunno... having second thoughts about... well, everything... so... yeah >.< guess ther'll be someone there to fix my shit again... anyway... back to life

so um... yeah... getting my first fursuit... going to my first con before long... if I hadn't been sick since last night due to caffeine it'd be so much sweeter right now >.<
no really... I've been a furry since I was like... 7-8 (got real big into VCL and learned to avoid "stuff" and poked around the odd social site... that kind of thing) and set my sights on my own fursuit at like... 12 so... once I wake up and my belleh calms down I'll go back to freaking out =^.^=

yeah, boring life here. umm... besides me being home alone for a week next week really nothing gonna be happening :/

I unno, prolly being all apranoid and stuff but yeah, havn't really heard from a lot of my friends in... well a bit too long. Eh, other than that I'm working on getting a job that has better hours (not middle of the night) and stuff like that... mebe Best Buy. *shrugs*

um... not much to say, I'm in college again, found me some nice friends, stress levels are down (except for work) and um... *blushes* I think I may have recently kinda... fallen for someone >.<

Alright, for those of you that I do talk to often you may notice I'm only on every few days or so. This is a combination of issues with only one person in the house being able to use our internet at a time and I've just been so stressed that I tend to just lay down or play video games. The whole stress issue is because I've been holding two jobs and am looking into going back into school on top of it along with (here's 90% of it) the fact that I have no friends I can go and hang out with. Granted I do quite enjoy talking with everyone, I just... need to get out of the house... that's pretty much it... I unno, maybe I'll get over it @.@

doing better, wish I could get on and talk more... only real stress is juggling two jobs during the weekend and a few friends worrying me... um... I've got a good friend that makes some really nice collars and stuffs for a good price, wanted to kinda get that out so I didn't have to bug peoples I know individually, I can get people in touch with him if you ask (he hates putting his info out in public) um... not a whole lot else going on... trying to convince myself to start up writing again, pretty much always in the back of my mind. Past that I'd love to have more people drop in to chat ^^ I loves meeting new people. oh and last thing is I've finally decided to start seriously planning/working on my fursuit... just gotta practice a bit more... any info on where to get fur that I don't have to buy by the bolt would be appreciated.

yeah... update on my well being for those select few that may care... I'm broke and lonely... I owe the government like $800 in taxes which I may or may not have by the due date. car payment. living expenses, all that happiness... oh, and I can't find a full time job. brighter side is I've been writing a small bit, hopefully it turns into something and I can start posting things again. Also have been sewing... if I get good I might start making some stuff for myself and maybe a few friends. but yeah... overall all is well assuming I don't get kicked out of the house.

Shamelessly stole this from kingrondo... yeah, someday something will happen where I can actually update this thing...

o's key change:
[x] = Yes (1)
[/] = Almost/sort of (.5)
[ ] = No (0)

RICH BITCH
[ ] You go/have gone tanning.
[ ] You own an iPod/mp3 player.
[ ] You love Starbucks.
[ ] You have been called a brat.
[ ] You have tons of shoes.
[ ] You hate buying things that are on sale.
[x] You have/had a laptop
[ ]You love shopping.
TOTAL: 1

GOTHIC
_________
[ ] Black is one of your favorite colors.
[ ] You wear chains.
[x] You like heavy metal.
[x] You've shopped at hot topic.
[ ] You have worn black lipstick.
[x] You have/had/or wanted piercings.
[ ] You own a pair of Tripp pants
[ ] You have at least one unnaturally colored haired
TOTAL: 3

PUNK
_______
[ ] You can skateboard
[ ] You like plaid.
[ ] You have Converse.
[x] You hate mtv.
[x]You have/had/want blue, *pink, *red, purple, or green hair.
[ ] You love mohawks
[x] You LOVE Music.
[x] Hate people who pretend to be something they are not.
TOTAL: 4

EMO
______
[x] You are sad sometimes.
[ ] You have dark colored glasses.
[x] You cry easily.
[ ] You like emo music
[ ] You've kept a journal/diary
[x] You have written a sad poem.
[x] You have dyed your hair.
[ ] You're sad when you're drunk (can't say I've ever been drunk)
TOTAL: 4

GHETTO
________
[ ] You like rap.
[ ] have said "Fo Sho, Fo Shizzle, Fo Sheezy, etc.
[ ] You have worn/wanted a grill.
[ ] You have had a freestyling contest.
[ ] You have worn your shoes with the tongue flipped out.
[ ] you know most of the lines from Boyz N Da Hood
[ ] You own a huge gold chain with a giant gold pendant
TOTAL: 0

HARDCORE
___________
[x] You like loud music
[ ] You love/like the Ninja Turtles.
[ ] You have slip-on shoes.
[ ] You like Norma Jean.
[x] People have called you a freak and meant it lovingly
[ ] You love to "hardcore" dance
[x] Your hair has been dyed more than one color.
[x] You wear jeans a lot.
TOTAL: 4

PREP:
_______
[ ] You LOVE The OC.
[ ] You had/have/want a tiny/small sized dog.
[ ] Your usual outfits consist of pink.
[ ] You like buying shoes A LOT.
[ ] You have clothes from Hollister, AE and/or Abercrombie
[ ] Getting your nails done is a fun thing.
[ ] You have/had big sunglasses.
[ ] You can't go anywhere without your hair perfect
Total: 0 (thank god)

ATHLETIC
__________
[ ] You watch/watched the Superbowl
[ ] You own track shoes or cleats other sports related shoes.
[ ] You collect jerseys.
[ ] You have/ had a special shelf for trophies and awards.
[ ] Your garage/shed consists of sports equipment.
[ ] You belong/belonged to a team.
[ ] You have a specific number preferred for your jersey.
TOTAL: 0

SCENE
_______
[ ] You like putting little bows in your hair
[ ] You have mini-skirts
[x] You have parted your hair to the side.
[ ] You think polka-dots are way cute.
[ ] You have done a peace sign while you pose for a picture.
[ ] You've been called scene before.
[ ] You wear/wore long, colorful socks
TOTAL: 1


REDNECK (not fair, I live in Texas)
__________
[x] Gone four wheeling.
[ ] Went hunting.
[x] Owned a four/three-wheeler or dirt bike...ect.
[ ] Like to go fishing.
[x] Eat beef jerky
[ ] Ever said GIT-R-DONE.
[x] Listened to the song Redneck Woman.
[ ] say Ya'll and Aint alot
TOTAL: 4


METALHEAD
___________
[ ] You wear band shirts alot.
[x] If people down talk metal you down talk their favorite music.
[x] You like bands like As I Lay Dying, Lamb Of God, and All That Remains.
[ ] You HATE emos.
[ ] You like Black Sabbath.
[ ] You have gone to Ozzfest.
TOTAL: 2

punk-emo-hardcore-... Texas has ruined me...

yes peoples everywhere, I am still, amazingly, alive. anyway, changes: I've got college (blows ass), college progect (I dun wanna T.T), and my master to keep me sane (splee!) anyway, yeah, my writer's block is finally going away somewhat so... yeah... I know I'm overdue like 8 months on... anyway Iza go run off now. *scampers off*

Stole from cj-thedebugfox

Leave me a comment and I will...

a) Tell you why I befriended you
b) Associate you with something - a song, a color, a photo, a mental image, etc.
c) Tell you something I like about you
d) Tell you a memory I have of you
e) Ask something I've always wanted to know about you
f) You must copy/pasta this into your journal so I can comment

Yeah, as some of you might know, I work at a paintball field. Well, Yesterday, sometime around noon, a fire started at the edge of the property and burnt through about 3/4 of the forest. anyway, in the middle of it all was me and another employee trying to put out at least part of it with a shovel and a boot (and people ask me why I wear military boots) anyway, I survived and we managed to rescue the main field. and btw, grass fires are HOT! oh, yes the fire dept was there. the volunteers were further down putting out the large field and the city firefighters were sittin around watchin it burn.