I'm back after feeling down because I felt inadequate with my drawings, comparing myself to others, and, for some reason, feeling a little lonely, despite having friends with whom I talk and interact regularly (which I've been doing most of the time).

Despite taking Artfight as something entertaining, I haven't exceeded my expectations of practicing rendering, experimenting more with my style, and setting myself challenges. Something felt wrong with my style or my way of drawing or painting. I doubted myself, compared my old drawings with my current ones, and didn't notice any significant changes. I also didn't have a guide or a path I wanted to follow, going down a path on my own without a light or references and wanting to cover everything but still not knowing what I wanted, just drawing for fun and slowly losing the satisfaction I used to enjoy.

I've done some trade arts and a few practice sketches that helped me regain some of my confidence and enjoyment, as well as make progress on my worldbuilding project, Ieranon, which is now fairly well formed and just needs the most difficult part written, which would be the timeline/story. Speaking of commissions, I've decided to try a PWYW model for these two months. And that's all.

From the middle of last month until today's date I have been going through personal problems, which will surely continue. I will be on an indefinite hiatus until further notice.

I'm not one to make journals, but I'm doing some experiments with some characters and I'm going to sell them as adopts.

In a week the four characters will be out and they won't cost more than 30-50 dollars for the AB, they may not be well drawn or detailed and that's great, but they could be useful and they'll be there.

Well, I'll write this in the simplest and most concise way possible

Two days ago I just spent 1090 PEN (about 300$) for my technical degree in computer science, being that amount an offer of almost half of the total that was going to be S/. 1900. I spent half of it with the savings my parents gave me for that purpose, and the other half was covered by them.

My own rule for selling commissions is to sell SFW drawings, and in cases of urgency and if given the opportunity, to draw fetishes and NSFW.

So, the degree has been paid for, the diploma is in process and the money is no longer needed, so I no longer have any reason to be in need of the money. However, I would like to get the money back, even a small portion. So, after talking to my friends and myself, I made a decision.

Besides the fact that I have my commissions open, I made the decision to open fetish commissions of any kind, I will take them if I feel comfortable and in the mood to do them. I am not going to open NSFW commissions, I am not at that point of “urgency” and I need to update my ToS and maybe my portfolio, and maybe increase or decrease prices. (I will most likely regret the fetish comms open and back out as I was before).

if you know someone interested in buying a drawing or making a deal, I'm open to it.

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/59462230/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/59462230/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/59462230/

I owe a $5 steam gift card, if you know anyone who wants a commission to trade I would be grateful

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/57297696/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/57297696/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/57297696/

This post. Plain and simple. I'll be back in a week

I can bought a One by Wacom small, wait testing sketches what I drew days ago

Pues... Pasaron cositas y me quede sin internet por un mes entero y solo me pude conectar una vez así que...

HEMOS VUELTOOOOOOO

Voy a subir algunos dibujos que tenia listos y (tratar) de hablar con algunas personas

Well, since I can't excuse myself, I haven't had the desire to draw or creative block. I've taken the initiative to get my Worldbluiding out of the hellish "idea stage" and am making a doc about Ieranon.

Expect several digital and paper sketches of Ieranon soon on my profile.

I must also announce that I have Twitter and I opened a bluesky account a while ago (both dead because Mr. Asocial doesn't use them) and that I will probably upload the dirty and badly painted drawings there.

I reached 100 followers, thanks for your support and favs (especially to those who participated in the raffle).

The raffle post is closed and the raffle will start in 2 hours ^^

I will use random.org

Luego de hablar con varias personas durante estos meses, pensarlo y "estabilizarme". Abriré mi FA de nuevo.

Sin embargo. No me he recuperado el todo, en estas semanas no he dibujado nada, perdí mis habilidades y mis ganas de dibujar. Y hablando de dibujos, voy a generalizarme, haré más dibujos sobre mis proyectos y también me dedicaré a hacer memes, practicar y demás cosas.

Mi salud está decayendo de mal en peor. Voy a abandonar indefinidamente las redes sociales

I've been feeling like shit these past few days, with no motivation to do anything. That's why I haven't posted or created any drawings with strong interest or enough love and care.

A few days ago, I went to the psychologist, and they confirmed my diagnostic: depression, stress, and anxiety. The treatment will take time because it is... surprise, public insurance. I might disappear for a few days more.

I also take the opportunity to say if you can pass contacts through notes to talk or make a group. Even though I'm not one to talk

https://twitter.com/A_Bin_Chicken/status/1705205524755538355?t=NxeM5yXjEdbvjRiafvv02Q&s=19

I truly dislike the fact that the most viewed and favorited things are related to fatness, inflation, and the 2 or 3 comics I've made, even the fetish tolerance list I created is in the top 5 most viewed things for some strange reason. I don't know what I was thinking when I did that, just like when I published the specimen. They were ideas I didn't realize were terrible.

I'm going to stop making or posting those types of stuffs on my accounts unless it's for selling, when I want, or just for fun. Until I regret what I did before.

After looking at my FA statistics and my DA suggested collections, I've been taking a look back in time, and honestly, I feel dissatisfied and disgusted with what I've done in the past. I cringe at everything in my past posts. I drew, spoke, or did things that I regret today. Honestly, I'm someone who doesn't think before acting

I do not know what to do

I don't need messages of support, save them. I will continue resting, one day I will draw the two pending trades with Jura (despite losing the desire to do my favorite things)

I will start practicing meditation, mindfulness and origami, although they do not give me any results

Only that. The request and art trades will be completed

The journal I made (https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10532345/) I did with the intention of organizing myself. I only put it as "Request list" because many acquaintances or friends ask me for requests and I am forgetful. I never thought that so many people would come to ask me for a request. Even in my profile it says that the requests are ONLY FOR ACQUAINTANCES. Those who wrote in that journal never spoke to me or only gave me a fav or a comment in a submission.

Someday when I feel like it, I'll do a free art slot.

Sorry for the inconvenience.