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so tired.
Posted 11 years agoI'm so tired of my constant feelings of anxiety and helplessness. I feel like I'm caught in a state of suspension, unable to do anything but watch as tragedy unfolds before my eyes.
A friend falls down a path of darkness to a light at the end that's nothing but the glimmer of the devil's teeth.
My own family crumbles day after day, my parents constantly fighting.
My future is so uncertain that not even my beloved tarot cards know what to make of it.
And I don't feel like I can do anything to fix it at all.
Even when I went to see the psychologist today and yesterday, I felt like garbage talking about this stuff. Felt like I shouldn't even bother because it's all gonna go to hell in a hand basket anyway.
I'm sorry I'm so weak. I wish I were made of sterner material, I wish I was more self sufficient, more able to close the wounds of the heart and stop the teardrops.
I'm so tired and scared and hurt and angry right now. My stomach constantly feels like it's twisted in a knot and impaled with knives. I'm going to be getting professional help, but I don't know if it will even work to help me.
I'm sorry.
A friend falls down a path of darkness to a light at the end that's nothing but the glimmer of the devil's teeth.
My own family crumbles day after day, my parents constantly fighting.
My future is so uncertain that not even my beloved tarot cards know what to make of it.
And I don't feel like I can do anything to fix it at all.
Even when I went to see the psychologist today and yesterday, I felt like garbage talking about this stuff. Felt like I shouldn't even bother because it's all gonna go to hell in a hand basket anyway.
I'm sorry I'm so weak. I wish I were made of sterner material, I wish I was more self sufficient, more able to close the wounds of the heart and stop the teardrops.
I'm so tired and scared and hurt and angry right now. My stomach constantly feels like it's twisted in a knot and impaled with knives. I'm going to be getting professional help, but I don't know if it will even work to help me.
I'm sorry.
plushehs (tis a sale, with free shipping!)
Posted 11 years agohow the heck
Posted 11 years agoI just got 8/10 on a test I didn't even know we were going to have
What
What
No Subject
Posted 11 years agoThe world isn't fair anymore. Nothing is fair. Nothing.
I want to just lay on the ground and sob.
I want to just lay on the ground and sob.
Plushie Sale Deal!
Posted 11 years agoDo you like plushies? Check this out!
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6251231/
this talented artist is having a sweet deal on their plushies! Get em while they're hot!
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6251231/
this talented artist is having a sweet deal on their plushies! Get em while they're hot!
My Firm Belief
Posted 11 years agoI strongly believe in forgiveness and in second chances. Call me naive, call me foolish, call my gullible, but I believe in loving those who have done hurtful and bad things, if they will repent of their wrongdoings. I will forgive pretty much anyone for anything they've ever done to hurt me. It's probably not exactly a good policy, but it's the one I live by.
first driving lesson
Posted 11 years agoIt was horrifying.
No Subject
Posted 11 years agoSo many sirens outside my house, where are they all going. ..?
someone in need- dying grandfather
Posted 11 years agoArt and Writing Awards!
Posted 11 years agoSpurred on by my good brother 
dragonley, I've decided to enter some of my poetry into the Scholastic Art and Writing Awards! Wish me luck! Hopefully I'll win a Silver Key!
dragonley, I've decided to enter some of my poetry into the Scholastic Art and Writing Awards! Wish me luck! Hopefully I'll win a Silver Key!God bless Robin Williams
Posted 11 years agoRobin Williams , the voice of Genie from Aladdin, died today at age 63. It's said his death was a suicide. God bless you, Robin... may He take you into His light.
Hrgh [rant]
Posted 11 years agoDon't ever, ever, EVER tell me I'm lying when I say I'm passionate about something or I love something. Don't invalidate my passions. NEVER.
I fucking hate the kind of person who does that.
My own self: "I love your poetry! The effort you put into it makes it really awesome!"
That person: "Shut up, you fucking liar, quit trying to make me feel better, thanks for the fucking pep talk."
What the fuck is that all about? You're a complete goddamn jerk if you immediately blow away a compliment by calling someone a liar.
I hate having people rub in my face that my opinions and the things I love are invalid, especially if I'm complimenting someone. Attacking someone for saying they like your work and believe your work is amazing because you put a lot of effort into it is such a nasty, twisted thing to do to somebody. Fuck that shit.
Don't ever do that, especially not to me.
And if you do...
Kindly fuck off before I slam my loafer-clad size thirteens up your ass and light your goddamn hair on fire.
This has been a PSA from Matty B. Dracowolf.
I fucking hate the kind of person who does that.
My own self: "I love your poetry! The effort you put into it makes it really awesome!"
That person: "Shut up, you fucking liar, quit trying to make me feel better, thanks for the fucking pep talk."
What the fuck is that all about? You're a complete goddamn jerk if you immediately blow away a compliment by calling someone a liar.
I hate having people rub in my face that my opinions and the things I love are invalid, especially if I'm complimenting someone. Attacking someone for saying they like your work and believe your work is amazing because you put a lot of effort into it is such a nasty, twisted thing to do to somebody. Fuck that shit.
Don't ever do that, especially not to me.
And if you do...
Kindly fuck off before I slam my loafer-clad size thirteens up your ass and light your goddamn hair on fire.
This has been a PSA from Matty B. Dracowolf.
CHECK IT OUT. (Commissions)
Posted 11 years agoTHIS GUY: dragonley is doing COMMISSIONS. For AWESOME PRICES: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/14108675/
You know you want one! If you've got the money, go get one!
dragonley is doing COMMISSIONS. For AWESOME PRICES: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/14108675/ You know you want one! If you've got the money, go get one!
God, I'm tired.
Posted 11 years agoI need to sleep more, humpf. *yawns and stretches out*
šignal boost!
Posted 11 years agoCommission, Request, and Trade Info
Posted 11 years agoHiya erryone! C: I wanted to let you guys know that I do art trades and commissions! I only do requests for really good friends or for special occasions like holidays and birthdays, but art trades and commissions are open!
However, before you want stuff from me, there's info you should know!
1: I don't do NSFW art, nor do I do fetish art. If you want diapers, babyfur, TF art, vore, inflation, or just straight-up sex, please search somewhere else.
2: I only give commissions to people who have DeviantART, because I am not allowed to handle money. All of my commissions are 20 DeviantART points for one character, 30 if you want more than one.
3: You can pay me before or after I post the artwork, but I prefer after.
4: I only have 5 slots open for both trades and commissions at one time. If all five are filled for both, I'm closed.
Current Commission Slots:
1.
gryphonmon7 wants a design for a fanmade Digimon by Nightrizer (not started)
2. gryphonmon7 wants a ref pic for his OC Kiara Mage (not done yet)
3.
champloon and JuliusTheAwesome want a picture of their sonas as goats (needs to be posted)
4. Empty
5. Empty
Current Art Trade Slots:
1.
kody-the-fox wanted a picture of his OC Shelley the Otter (done, waiting for his half)
2. Empty
3. Empty
4. Empty
5. Empty
So there ya have it. oho
However, before you want stuff from me, there's info you should know!
1: I don't do NSFW art, nor do I do fetish art. If you want diapers, babyfur, TF art, vore, inflation, or just straight-up sex, please search somewhere else.
2: I only give commissions to people who have DeviantART, because I am not allowed to handle money. All of my commissions are 20 DeviantART points for one character, 30 if you want more than one.
3: You can pay me before or after I post the artwork, but I prefer after.
4: I only have 5 slots open for both trades and commissions at one time. If all five are filled for both, I'm closed.
Current Commission Slots:
1.
gryphonmon7 wants a design for a fanmade Digimon by Nightrizer (not started)2.
gryphonmon7 wants a ref pic for his OC Kiara Mage (not done yet)3.
champloon and JuliusTheAwesome want a picture of their sonas as goats (needs to be posted)4. Empty
5. Empty
Current Art Trade Slots:
1.
kody-the-fox wanted a picture of his OC Shelley the Otter (done, waiting for his half)2. Empty
3. Empty
4. Empty
5. Empty
So there ya have it. oho
Returned
Posted 11 years agoI'm back from my camping trip, and I feel better now. I'm sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings with that awful journal. I deleted it, and I hope I can continue on and never do something so dreadful again.
I was wrong
Posted 11 years agoI shouldn't have said what I did in my last journal. Something private came up and, well, I snapped, and a really ugly, awful part of me bubbled to the surface. dragonley and my other friends calmed me down, and now I'm on a camping trip with my family. I apologize for my actions- I went way out of line.
I hope you'll find it in your hearts to forgive me. I'll be back home on Thursday.
dragonley and my other friends calmed me down, and now I'm on a camping trip with my family. I apologize for my actions- I went way out of line. I hope you'll find it in your hearts to forgive me. I'll be back home on Thursday.
Tomorrow, tomorrow
Posted 11 years agoI love ya, tomorrow, you're always a day away~
What have I done...
Posted 11 years agoDammit... dammit all, what is WRONG with me... Joey, I'm sorry... I got sidetracked, I was trying to talk to a bunch of people at the same time and... wah, forget it, I know it's unforgivable.
I fucked up.
I fucked up.
Out of School
Posted 11 years agoWell, as of Thursday, I've been out of school for summer. I have big plans, but I'm lazy and stupid and still don't have my tablet, so they'll probably never get done.
Music Recommendations
Posted 11 years agoFlorence and the Machine- "Drumming Song"
Porter Robinson ft. Avanna- "Sad Machine"
ZEDD ft. Foxes- "Clarity"
Team Kamiuta ft. Meiko V3- "Samurai Soul"
Pinkzebra- "Larger Than Life"
VocaApple ft. Kaito V3- "The Greatest Self-Critic"
Jus' sharing my music tastes with the furry world.
Porter Robinson ft. Avanna- "Sad Machine"
ZEDD ft. Foxes- "Clarity"
Team Kamiuta ft. Meiko V3- "Samurai Soul"
Pinkzebra- "Larger Than Life"
VocaApple ft. Kaito V3- "The Greatest Self-Critic"
Jus' sharing my music tastes with the furry world.
WAHU! [happy happy happy]
Posted 11 years agoI got an A on my English final, wahoo! I stopped by my teacher's at lunch after the test because I forgot something in his classroom, and he told me he'd graded all the tests and I got an A!!!! :D
On a more bittersweet note, my Spanish teacher is retiring at year's end, and she gave me a chac-mool (an ancient Mayan statue) she had in her class as a gift. I'm glad I have something to remember her by.
Gotta study for my Math final now, that's next. Wish me luck, yo!
On a more bittersweet note, my Spanish teacher is retiring at year's end, and she gave me a chac-mool (an ancient Mayan statue) she had in her class as a gift. I'm glad I have something to remember her by.
Gotta study for my Math final now, that's next. Wish me luck, yo!
Worry
Posted 11 years agoI checked my Child Development grade and I still have a C... I'm really nervous because I literally have only this week and next to get it up before it's a final grade and I'm scared.... I don't want to get another C in a class, oh man, it's like 8th grade all over again, I don't want this...
Memorial Day
Posted 11 years agoGod bless the brave American soldiers who died in the tragedy that was the Vietnam War. May their names never be extinguished from the record book of life, and may they rest in peace.
