Adoptable promo
Posted 10 years agohttp://www.furaffinity.net/view/16176592/
Adoptable raffle and I'm super in love with this design.
give this artist some luv!
Adoptable raffle and I'm super in love with this design.
give this artist some luv!
Fundraiser for a friend.
Posted 10 years agoYou can read more about his situation in his journals but this is me trying to help. I have no money to give but I can draw. I'll be making some adoptables. I will still be doing free art through my journal but if you'd like to add a.small tip I would be forwarding it straight to
johnnyblanco I know this guy personally. He is local to me. I don't generally get involved in people's financial problems but he doesn't ask for help unless he's in real trouble.

What would you like to see?
Posted 10 years agoI might start up drawing again and I was just curious as to what people were interested in seeing? I may also start commission work again but it depends on if I can reliably have time to art so that commissions would not be held up.
So? What do you want?
So? What do you want?
Need help with OC
Posted 10 years agoI'm working on a cabbit and would like to add wings but I can't decide between bat wings are feather ones...what do you guys think?
Media fursuit heads
Posted 10 years agoI'm super excited to get one of his fursuit head blanks but has anyone had a hard time getting a hold of him? With the holidays around I'm sure he's busy. But I messaged him using the emails he provided during his hours of operation... just looking for some advise...like...if there's a more reliable way to reach him?
thanks folks!
mill
thanks folks!
mill
Still around...
Posted 11 years agoI figure...it's been nearly 2 years since my last journal.
I'm still around...sort of lurking because kids keep you busy...
TL:DR
I have a kid. He won't let me draw. I'll be back
I'm still around...sort of lurking because kids keep you busy...
TL:DR
I have a kid. He won't let me draw. I'll be back
TOS 2015
Posted 13 years agoPrice List found here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8375935/
This is the terms of service for 2015. In effect immediately. Commissioning me means that you have read and understood the terms listed below. Breaking any of these terms will be deemed a breach of contract and I can cancel the commission. You will be asked to acknowledge that you have read this TOS.
Payment
Payment can be made before or after and is determined by your commission history with myself and others. People who have commissioned me in the past have more flexibility with when payment is due. Artwork will NOT be posted until it is paid for. Please post your FA screen name in the notes of your payment. If you request a refund, message me first and I will send the money back. DO NOT issue a charge back. Doing so will result in blacklisting. This is to protect me from scammers.
I only accept PAYPAL.
Material
I will not draw the following material: scat, fanart (like sonic, digimon, etc...at least for money. See my free art journal and make a request there)
Not too familiar with but will try: vore, pregnancy, mechs, weapons, inflation, fat
anything else is okay but when in doubt ask.
Your Rights
I will provide a presketch by request. If you have a deadline, make that date known before hand so that I can make by the date. Also mention if the commission is private. I will post all commissions to my gallery unless asked not to. You are allowed to post to your own gallery(s). Linearts may be colored by you or anyone else you'd like so long as my signature stays.
My Rights
I have the right to refuse any commission offer at anytime. If you have questions, please take the time to put them all in ONE pm so that they are easy for me to find and answer and it doesn't flood my inbox.
Overview
I consider myself very quick and turn around is generally less than a month. I will update commissioners as often as they request. This TOS is subject to change but commissioners are only held to the TOS they agreed to at the time of their order.
This is the terms of service for 2015. In effect immediately. Commissioning me means that you have read and understood the terms listed below. Breaking any of these terms will be deemed a breach of contract and I can cancel the commission. You will be asked to acknowledge that you have read this TOS.
Payment
Payment can be made before or after and is determined by your commission history with myself and others. People who have commissioned me in the past have more flexibility with when payment is due. Artwork will NOT be posted until it is paid for. Please post your FA screen name in the notes of your payment. If you request a refund, message me first and I will send the money back. DO NOT issue a charge back. Doing so will result in blacklisting. This is to protect me from scammers.
I only accept PAYPAL.
Material
I will not draw the following material: scat, fanart (like sonic, digimon, etc...at least for money. See my free art journal and make a request there)
Not too familiar with but will try: vore, pregnancy, mechs, weapons, inflation, fat
anything else is okay but when in doubt ask.
Your Rights
I will provide a presketch by request. If you have a deadline, make that date known before hand so that I can make by the date. Also mention if the commission is private. I will post all commissions to my gallery unless asked not to. You are allowed to post to your own gallery(s). Linearts may be colored by you or anyone else you'd like so long as my signature stays.
My Rights
I have the right to refuse any commission offer at anytime. If you have questions, please take the time to put them all in ONE pm so that they are easy for me to find and answer and it doesn't flood my inbox.
Overview
I consider myself very quick and turn around is generally less than a month. I will update commissioners as often as they request. This TOS is subject to change but commissioners are only held to the TOS they agreed to at the time of their order.
FREE ART BY ME!!!
Posted 13 years agoQuick simple rules:
-Please post finished requests to your account...the advertising helps me!
-You can apply as many times as you want
-applying does not guarantee I'll pick your character(s)
-Do not bug me about status updates or ask why I didn't pick yours
-Do not whine about "Well...I guess I'll try but I never win anything" I hate hearing this and will get you knocked out of this deal fast
-You don't need a ref sheet but it helps
-If you write a description of your character keep it simple...I don't want novels about your hair. Links to help describe what kind of hair/eyes/markings you have are welcome
-I'll do as many of these as I want until I run out of volunteers or energy
-Please feel free to ask any questions below because someone else may have the same question and it saves me from answering over and over
-No notes sent to my PM regarding this will be answered...keep it all in this journal please
-PLEASE WRITE THE NAME OF YOUR FURSONA IF IT DIFFERS FROM YOUR FA SCREEN NAME
See you at PAX PRIME 2012
Posted 13 years agoI am shocked...amazed and frightened at the deadly speed pax tickets sold out this year...3 day passes gone in less that 48 hours...I guess I got lucky with my two passes I managed to purchase...but I felt so blessed that I wanted to share...not boasting but I felt saying it, or writing it, would make the reality real...
I'll shut up now
I'll shut up now
SUPER AFFORDABLE COMMISHES!!!! holy crap!!!
Posted 13 years agohttp://www.furaffinity.net/user/avernakis/
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/avernakis/
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/avernakis/
Seriously!!! Look at those prices and what you get?!?! I watched them stream this afternoon and the speed and quality is amazing! Check em out! They're saving to get to America!
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/avernakis/
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/avernakis/
Seriously!!! Look at those prices and what you get?!?! I watched them stream this afternoon and the speed and quality is amazing! Check em out! They're saving to get to America!
Want to know what FC was like?
Posted 13 years agoOne of the best vids I've seen in awhile...if you were there this vid will be that much better....if you've debated about going to a furcon...I hope this convinces you.
http://vimeo.com/35595956
http://vimeo.com/35595956
http://vimeo.com/35595956
http://vimeo.com/35595956
http://vimeo.com/35595956
http://vimeo.com/35595956
http://vimeo.com/35595956
http://vimeo.com/35595956
http://vimeo.com/35595956
http://vimeo.com/35595956
FC I'll be there with badges!
Posted 13 years agoYep... Imma going to this FC thingy...Went and got a new laptop and photo printer and everything so that I can print high quality pics on the spot! So come find me if you can...prices will probably be like $15-20 not sure yet...how much do people usually spend on badges? Especially ones printed on the spot....and digital....with canon photo paper...in a badge holder?
DEEPLY discounted commissions
Posted 14 years agoSo. I had an epiphany today while sitting at work. Not everyone can pay the prices usually associated with higher end work. I know I know. I'm so smart! Lol. Sometimes we folks forget the simple stuff y'know?
Also, gah, when was the last time I tried to draw anyways?! So here's what I'm proposing. I want you to either make a case for yourself or another why I should draw at next to nothing. I would like to draw for someone who has very little art or has never commissioned anyone because of money. Normal commission rules apply on content but I will have artistic liberty.
Da RULES
Write below a little blurb about why you, or your friend, needs some artistic loving, links to any refs you have and a little bit about the character. And any content limits you may have.
What could you get? Anything from an icon or sketch to full color pinups or more depending on my inspiration levels. I will draw as many as I feel. If you're chosen you'll be notified and payment will be whatever you feel. Seriously. If you genuinely can't pay then this whole thing was meant for you anyways. But a few bucks would be cool.
Last rule. Don't be a dick about free/cheap art. I'll post a request deadline once I get enough interest
Also, gah, when was the last time I tried to draw anyways?! So here's what I'm proposing. I want you to either make a case for yourself or another why I should draw at next to nothing. I would like to draw for someone who has very little art or has never commissioned anyone because of money. Normal commission rules apply on content but I will have artistic liberty.
Da RULES
Write below a little blurb about why you, or your friend, needs some artistic loving, links to any refs you have and a little bit about the character. And any content limits you may have.
What could you get? Anything from an icon or sketch to full color pinups or more depending on my inspiration levels. I will draw as many as I feel. If you're chosen you'll be notified and payment will be whatever you feel. Seriously. If you genuinely can't pay then this whole thing was meant for you anyways. But a few bucks would be cool.
Last rule. Don't be a dick about free/cheap art. I'll post a request deadline once I get enough interest
Why the newest Twilight movie doesn't suck.
Posted 14 years agoNo. This wasn't a ploy title to get you to read about my personal problems or some art contest. I'm being legit. So, for those of you who aren't interested in this go ahead and teal deer below, say "you're retarded, twilight sucks!" and rage quit this journal because this is about to get lengthy.
This isn't going to be a rant about team Jacob or why Bella didn't do blank from blank book in blank movie. This is me having a conversation with you over why people try and seriously review ANY movie from the Twilight series and others like it.
I believe movies come in a many types with many subjects but ultimately fall into three categories:
Pander films
Historical Pander films
Abstract
Pander films have one goal in mind. Find their target audience and make what they want to see. They're not trying to win any awards or write the best scripts. These movies are generally met with praise by those targeted and strong hatred by those who aren't. Here are some perfect examples of pander films: Twilight, Harry Potter, Devil wears Prada, Kung Fu Panda, Snakes on a Plane, and SAW.
Historical Pander films are just like the above but have that pesky: based on a true story bit. How can history pander? By skewing it just enough to get the angle you want. Titanic? Romance movie because Jack and Rose were never on that boat. Then again the graphics were sweet so I guess there was something for the guys as well. Pearl Harbor? Guy flick with a bit of romance for the ladies.
That third category is for films that are trying to say something. They're made to teach or reveal some injustice in the world. These are the documentaries. Indie films. The movies made because someone wanted to. Not because their intention was to get rich. Sometimes they get off track and TRY to LOOK indie while they are actually pandering to the indie hipsters. I haven't quite figured out where Napoleon Dynamite lands. :/
Twilight falls neatly into that pander film slot. The Twilight objective is to make money off it's target audience by giving THAT audience EXACTLY what it wants. Now, mind you, if I was to pick it apart on it's visuals I certainly could but Twilight's concentration lies in dialogue dripping in teen longing, indecisiveness and the forbidden. If it was going for visual and no story it would just be Transformers.
The reason Twilight doesn't suck is that it did what it set out to do. It wasn't trying to make people better or end world hunger. It was making money. The reason most people say it sucks is because it wasn't made for them. While Twilight is hotly debated about it's suck-a-tude or lack there of many other movies are guilty of being a pander film. Kid's movies pander to them. Usually there's a fart joke or two, slime or something messy and lots of noise. Guy movies have stuff blowing up, a hot chick and probably some sweet cars. What I'm getting at here is that no one is going to try and do a serious review of a kid's or guy's movie because those things aren't meant to be taken seriously. So why do people get so bent out of shape over Twilight?
Pander films are just like candy. There's no real substance but we crave it anyways. It gives us our emotional fix. Young girls like Twilight because of the real desire teens have to want and be wanted. And with a choice between hot guy #1 and hot guy #2 it's win-win really. People watch SAW because we like death and destruction and have limited outlets to enjoy it. Women like romantic comedies because the main characters live happily ever after.
Do you see where I'm going with this?
Just because someone doesn't like "blank" movie doesn't make it bad no more than you hating pepsi means it's suddenly not delicious.
If these movies are like candy, Twilight is definitely like those creepy face ice cream bars you get from the local ice cream man. Most people won't buy it...it wasn't made for them. But for that kid who likes bubblegum eyes on their "sorta looks like spiderman" popsicle? It's the best thing ever and who are we to tell him he's wrong? Nor will you see a world renown food critic report that the bubblegum eyes were too pretentious.
Twilight was good TO ME.
And spiderman popsicles are alot tastier than they look. :p
This isn't going to be a rant about team Jacob or why Bella didn't do blank from blank book in blank movie. This is me having a conversation with you over why people try and seriously review ANY movie from the Twilight series and others like it.
I believe movies come in a many types with many subjects but ultimately fall into three categories:
Pander films
Historical Pander films
Abstract
Pander films have one goal in mind. Find their target audience and make what they want to see. They're not trying to win any awards or write the best scripts. These movies are generally met with praise by those targeted and strong hatred by those who aren't. Here are some perfect examples of pander films: Twilight, Harry Potter, Devil wears Prada, Kung Fu Panda, Snakes on a Plane, and SAW.
Historical Pander films are just like the above but have that pesky: based on a true story bit. How can history pander? By skewing it just enough to get the angle you want. Titanic? Romance movie because Jack and Rose were never on that boat. Then again the graphics were sweet so I guess there was something for the guys as well. Pearl Harbor? Guy flick with a bit of romance for the ladies.
That third category is for films that are trying to say something. They're made to teach or reveal some injustice in the world. These are the documentaries. Indie films. The movies made because someone wanted to. Not because their intention was to get rich. Sometimes they get off track and TRY to LOOK indie while they are actually pandering to the indie hipsters. I haven't quite figured out where Napoleon Dynamite lands. :/
Twilight falls neatly into that pander film slot. The Twilight objective is to make money off it's target audience by giving THAT audience EXACTLY what it wants. Now, mind you, if I was to pick it apart on it's visuals I certainly could but Twilight's concentration lies in dialogue dripping in teen longing, indecisiveness and the forbidden. If it was going for visual and no story it would just be Transformers.
The reason Twilight doesn't suck is that it did what it set out to do. It wasn't trying to make people better or end world hunger. It was making money. The reason most people say it sucks is because it wasn't made for them. While Twilight is hotly debated about it's suck-a-tude or lack there of many other movies are guilty of being a pander film. Kid's movies pander to them. Usually there's a fart joke or two, slime or something messy and lots of noise. Guy movies have stuff blowing up, a hot chick and probably some sweet cars. What I'm getting at here is that no one is going to try and do a serious review of a kid's or guy's movie because those things aren't meant to be taken seriously. So why do people get so bent out of shape over Twilight?
Pander films are just like candy. There's no real substance but we crave it anyways. It gives us our emotional fix. Young girls like Twilight because of the real desire teens have to want and be wanted. And with a choice between hot guy #1 and hot guy #2 it's win-win really. People watch SAW because we like death and destruction and have limited outlets to enjoy it. Women like romantic comedies because the main characters live happily ever after.
Do you see where I'm going with this?
Just because someone doesn't like "blank" movie doesn't make it bad no more than you hating pepsi means it's suddenly not delicious.
If these movies are like candy, Twilight is definitely like those creepy face ice cream bars you get from the local ice cream man. Most people won't buy it...it wasn't made for them. But for that kid who likes bubblegum eyes on their "sorta looks like spiderman" popsicle? It's the best thing ever and who are we to tell him he's wrong? Nor will you see a world renown food critic report that the bubblegum eyes were too pretentious.
Twilight was good TO ME.
And spiderman popsicles are alot tastier than they look. :p
I miss drawing...
Posted 14 years agoany ideas?
maybe a new character?
maybe some free art of a cool character?
something old?
something new?
also....still no watchtail?
maybe a new character?
maybe some free art of a cool character?
something old?
something new?
also....still no watchtail?
streaming for a little while
Posted 14 years agoColoring books. Would you want one?
Posted 14 years agoI have a few drawings in my portfolio where I just love how some of the lineart came out. I was planning on printing a few onto watercolor paper to practice some traditional mediums and thought there maybe others who would like to too.
So this is what i guess I'm proposing.
If I sold a few inks. Like 3 for $5 on quality watercolor paper would you buy it? You would be allowed to post your colorings in your gallery. Linking back to me would be preferable but not required since my signature would be on them. Paper size would probably be 8.5 x 11"
Another coloring idea I had was generic badges. Also printed on watercolor paper for people to be able to customize their own at a much cheaper rate than a custom job. Works in a pinch for last minute cons
Any opinions on this would be very much appreciated
So this is what i guess I'm proposing.
If I sold a few inks. Like 3 for $5 on quality watercolor paper would you buy it? You would be allowed to post your colorings in your gallery. Linking back to me would be preferable but not required since my signature would be on them. Paper size would probably be 8.5 x 11"
Another coloring idea I had was generic badges. Also printed on watercolor paper for people to be able to customize their own at a much cheaper rate than a custom job. Works in a pinch for last minute cons
Any opinions on this would be very much appreciated
Writing Tutorial (ADULT WARNING)
Posted 14 years agoNow while I'm not a writer by trade I don't feel I'm half bad at it. I've read a few erotic stories that have been passed my way. While I commend those who've decided to try their hand at writing for a few extra bucks, I would like mention a few concerns I've had.
You don't have to be AMAZING at writing or even art to start commissions...with practice you will get there. However, if you don't know what you're doing wrong, you may stagnate and commissions may trickle in or not come at all.
So let's just get right to it. Below is just a quick "scene" I wrote up for this tutorial. I will purposely use the standard technique many erotic writers on FA use. I will then go back and explain why I feel these aren't working. This scene will involve a little tentacle rape. ENJOY!
Original Scene
She knew she shouldn't be walking by herself. This was not a forest she knew. She walked deeper into the forest and heard a loud crash! The loud crash seemed to come from all around her! She heard it get closer so she run. Suddenly a tentacle grabbed her leg! The tentacle was about 10 feet long and 5 inches thick. She couldn't get away! Then another tentacle grabs her waist and breast. She was scared but starts to like it. She moans. The tentacles pull her legs apart and starts to rape her. She moans louder!
Ok....so...pretty standard. We know it's a female. We know she's out of her element and some THING is taking advantage of her. Now, this may get some 13 year old's rocks off but I'd like to think we can do SO much more with this don't you?
FIRSTLY....PRONOUNS!
How many times did I write "SHE"? 10 times! That's just excessive considering the length of the original. Not only that but it's BORING!!!! Remember that you're trying to paint a scene with words. Also, try and not use the same words over and over to describe an event. "MOAN" could have been replaced with other words such as: groan, sigh, squeal, scream, cooed, etc. A teacher once told me, "Never use the same noun/verb/adjective back to back. It makes you sound like you don't know any other words".
Getting lazy/adding details
This is one of my biggest issues. The sentences are so short, dull and lacking any vision. The details we do get are very clinical and don't mesh with the rest of the text. While trying to explain the size of the tentacle could be important for this story we have no other details in which to compare it by. How big is the female? What species is she? If this was a mouse going thru the woods this tentacle might rip her in half! If it were an elephant? This may have been just a casual romp in the forest.
Grammar and spelling
Check both. A spellchecker will only correct the spelling not make sure you used the correct word.
Scene set up
Let us know what's going on! It's your job isn't it?! While it's not unreasonable to assume your readers will fill in some of the details using their imagination asking them to think up the ENTIRE scene begs the question...why read your story if I'm doing all the work? Using our original as the example: is this happening at night? in a damp forest? is it dark? is she in a clearing or being restrained against a tree? Do you see the "fleshing out"? This is standard tentacle rape but with a few key decisions it can feel like a new idea. If YOU were restrained against a tree the experience would be different then if you just laying down in a meadow with flowers. The bark would be rough, the tree wouldn't give under the thrusts. There maybe crushing coming from being sandwiched between the tentacles and the tree. A tree would also paint a much more aggressive scene than say the tentacles merely holding you up in mid air and exploring its victim.
The original scene reads more like a shopping list than a story. The details are sparse and the ones that are there are awkward. The scene is not fleshed out and the juicy bits were completely left out. Let's see if we can rework it.
New Scene
"Is this the right path?" the vixen thought as moved deeper into the forest. Her usual path was normally peaceful and pleasant. The birds would sing along with the bubbling stream. The soil, always soft underfoot, had turned to muddy stones, knarlled grass and pungent fog. The only sounds she could hear was her own, increasing heartbeat. She pressed on, hoping that she would eventually find her way to the other side. As she continued she felt the presence of another. Darting eyes try and pierce the forest but to no avail. "Get yourself together!" she whispered, letting her guard down a second too long.
A sharp crash came from her left and she jerked to identify the intruder, but before she could focus her gazed yet another commotion from the right! Was it a second attacker? The fox was defensive, her fur standing on end and tail swishing aggressively was not enough to detour her hidden assalients. Serpentine forms slid silently through the muck and darkness towards their target. They waited for their opportunity to strike. She flailed wildly, hoping she would land a desperate blow when she felt a moist grasp from under the fog. A slimey arm, wrapped tightly around her ankle, started to climb her thigh. Maybe it was fear, maybe it was instinct, but the vixen immediately dug her claws and vulpine fangs deep into the attackers flesh but it was not phased! Her struggle seemed to spur it on as another tentacle latched onto her waist. This second tentacle seemed different from the first, almost sentient. It refused to stay around her waist but wanted to explore it's newest capture. The coils loosened enough for the tip of the arm to slide between the fox's heavy breasts. It lifted and prodded the vixen's mounds, gently at first but then with frustrated aggression. It was looking for something.
Now....I could go on a finish this story but that's not really the point. I'd like to think I did an okay job and used the advice above.
What details did the second example have that the first didn't? We now have a sense of environment, not too much description of tentacle size but I'd like to think that since we know it's a fox and two tentacles seems enough to restrain that their "big enough" but not macro. We know she was scared before the attack. She wasn't some brainless wanderer who just got caught off guard. Our girl was on edge and not about to go quietly since she attacked back. We also get the idea that the tentacles are somewhat intelligent. While I didn't get into whether she likes it after a bit more prodding we definitely know she's NOT happy about it now.
You don't have to use big words or have a fancy education to write in a similar manner....just be thorough. Read others' stories and keep note of where you get lost or confused. Identify what parts you really liked or felt made the story more real for you. These techniques work with drawing as well.
tl;dr
don't be lazy, commit to creating the scenes and characters
I didn't use spell check but you should
proof read, spell check doesn't check grammatical errors
You don't have to be AMAZING at writing or even art to start commissions...with practice you will get there. However, if you don't know what you're doing wrong, you may stagnate and commissions may trickle in or not come at all.
So let's just get right to it. Below is just a quick "scene" I wrote up for this tutorial. I will purposely use the standard technique many erotic writers on FA use. I will then go back and explain why I feel these aren't working. This scene will involve a little tentacle rape. ENJOY!
Original Scene
She knew she shouldn't be walking by herself. This was not a forest she knew. She walked deeper into the forest and heard a loud crash! The loud crash seemed to come from all around her! She heard it get closer so she run. Suddenly a tentacle grabbed her leg! The tentacle was about 10 feet long and 5 inches thick. She couldn't get away! Then another tentacle grabs her waist and breast. She was scared but starts to like it. She moans. The tentacles pull her legs apart and starts to rape her. She moans louder!
Ok....so...pretty standard. We know it's a female. We know she's out of her element and some THING is taking advantage of her. Now, this may get some 13 year old's rocks off but I'd like to think we can do SO much more with this don't you?
FIRSTLY....PRONOUNS!
How many times did I write "SHE"? 10 times! That's just excessive considering the length of the original. Not only that but it's BORING!!!! Remember that you're trying to paint a scene with words. Also, try and not use the same words over and over to describe an event. "MOAN" could have been replaced with other words such as: groan, sigh, squeal, scream, cooed, etc. A teacher once told me, "Never use the same noun/verb/adjective back to back. It makes you sound like you don't know any other words".
Getting lazy/adding details
This is one of my biggest issues. The sentences are so short, dull and lacking any vision. The details we do get are very clinical and don't mesh with the rest of the text. While trying to explain the size of the tentacle could be important for this story we have no other details in which to compare it by. How big is the female? What species is she? If this was a mouse going thru the woods this tentacle might rip her in half! If it were an elephant? This may have been just a casual romp in the forest.
Grammar and spelling
Check both. A spellchecker will only correct the spelling not make sure you used the correct word.
Scene set up
Let us know what's going on! It's your job isn't it?! While it's not unreasonable to assume your readers will fill in some of the details using their imagination asking them to think up the ENTIRE scene begs the question...why read your story if I'm doing all the work? Using our original as the example: is this happening at night? in a damp forest? is it dark? is she in a clearing or being restrained against a tree? Do you see the "fleshing out"? This is standard tentacle rape but with a few key decisions it can feel like a new idea. If YOU were restrained against a tree the experience would be different then if you just laying down in a meadow with flowers. The bark would be rough, the tree wouldn't give under the thrusts. There maybe crushing coming from being sandwiched between the tentacles and the tree. A tree would also paint a much more aggressive scene than say the tentacles merely holding you up in mid air and exploring its victim.
The original scene reads more like a shopping list than a story. The details are sparse and the ones that are there are awkward. The scene is not fleshed out and the juicy bits were completely left out. Let's see if we can rework it.
New Scene
"Is this the right path?" the vixen thought as moved deeper into the forest. Her usual path was normally peaceful and pleasant. The birds would sing along with the bubbling stream. The soil, always soft underfoot, had turned to muddy stones, knarlled grass and pungent fog. The only sounds she could hear was her own, increasing heartbeat. She pressed on, hoping that she would eventually find her way to the other side. As she continued she felt the presence of another. Darting eyes try and pierce the forest but to no avail. "Get yourself together!" she whispered, letting her guard down a second too long.
A sharp crash came from her left and she jerked to identify the intruder, but before she could focus her gazed yet another commotion from the right! Was it a second attacker? The fox was defensive, her fur standing on end and tail swishing aggressively was not enough to detour her hidden assalients. Serpentine forms slid silently through the muck and darkness towards their target. They waited for their opportunity to strike. She flailed wildly, hoping she would land a desperate blow when she felt a moist grasp from under the fog. A slimey arm, wrapped tightly around her ankle, started to climb her thigh. Maybe it was fear, maybe it was instinct, but the vixen immediately dug her claws and vulpine fangs deep into the attackers flesh but it was not phased! Her struggle seemed to spur it on as another tentacle latched onto her waist. This second tentacle seemed different from the first, almost sentient. It refused to stay around her waist but wanted to explore it's newest capture. The coils loosened enough for the tip of the arm to slide between the fox's heavy breasts. It lifted and prodded the vixen's mounds, gently at first but then with frustrated aggression. It was looking for something.
Now....I could go on a finish this story but that's not really the point. I'd like to think I did an okay job and used the advice above.
What details did the second example have that the first didn't? We now have a sense of environment, not too much description of tentacle size but I'd like to think that since we know it's a fox and two tentacles seems enough to restrain that their "big enough" but not macro. We know she was scared before the attack. She wasn't some brainless wanderer who just got caught off guard. Our girl was on edge and not about to go quietly since she attacked back. We also get the idea that the tentacles are somewhat intelligent. While I didn't get into whether she likes it after a bit more prodding we definitely know she's NOT happy about it now.
You don't have to use big words or have a fancy education to write in a similar manner....just be thorough. Read others' stories and keep note of where you get lost or confused. Identify what parts you really liked or felt made the story more real for you. These techniques work with drawing as well.
tl;dr
don't be lazy, commit to creating the scenes and characters
I didn't use spell check but you should
proof read, spell check doesn't check grammatical errors
Writer's Aide?
Posted 14 years agoWould anyone be interested in a writing tutorial? I've read a few stories around here and thought I could help. Not saying I'm the best but just some simple advice and examples to help out current and future writers.
~~~~~MINECRAFT~~~~~
Posted 14 years agoLooking for a minecraft server to play on. I can make awesome spawn traps to help aid you all in your quest for sulpher and other mob drops. I'm excellent at finding diamonds (I had a stack and a half in my last server)
If anyone knows of a good server please help! I need my minecraft fix! My previous server home shut down.
If anyone knows of a good server please help! I need my minecraft fix! My previous server home shut down.
Commissions....forced to close due to FPPC
Posted 14 years agoSo...You may not have heard this one...lol But I'll give you the "Reader's Digest" version k?
I'm marrying someone who works for the state legislature. He writes bills that will eventually turn into California state laws...
follow me so far?
Because of his position, he cannot receive gifts with a value over $50 by a single donor. This is an FPPC practice. (Fair Political Practice Commission). They were put in place to make sure no shenanigans were/are afoot.
Still with me?
So, because I'm gonna be connected to him. Any money I receive is also held accountable to FPPC. Guess what that means...
NO COMMISSIONS....seriously...
not until I get a business license so that the money is "legit"
You may baww over this but NO ONE is bawwing as much as me because this "RULE" also pertains to the wedding presents I was sooooo looking forward to receiving. SERIOUSLY!!!!
But now some good news (if you consider it good)...This will be the time I'll be posting art work for me. Experimenting...maybe some free stuff for you guys...that sort of thing since I can't be paid till I clear up this "business" nonsense.
Thanks for reading
~Milli
I'm marrying someone who works for the state legislature. He writes bills that will eventually turn into California state laws...
follow me so far?
Because of his position, he cannot receive gifts with a value over $50 by a single donor. This is an FPPC practice. (Fair Political Practice Commission). They were put in place to make sure no shenanigans were/are afoot.
Still with me?
So, because I'm gonna be connected to him. Any money I receive is also held accountable to FPPC. Guess what that means...
NO COMMISSIONS....seriously...
not until I get a business license so that the money is "legit"
You may baww over this but NO ONE is bawwing as much as me because this "RULE" also pertains to the wedding presents I was sooooo looking forward to receiving. SERIOUSLY!!!!
But now some good news (if you consider it good)...This will be the time I'll be posting art work for me. Experimenting...maybe some free stuff for you guys...that sort of thing since I can't be paid till I clear up this "business" nonsense.
Thanks for reading
~Milli
gonna stream now...wanna come join?
Posted 14 years agoUp and coming artist!
Posted 14 years agohttp://www.furaffinity.net/user/pirate-cashoo/
pirate-cashoo
She doesn't have nearly enough views for what she pumps out so give her some love huh? Besides, you have to support a proven girl on the internets...we're an endangered species!

She doesn't have nearly enough views for what she pumps out so give her some love huh? Besides, you have to support a proven girl on the internets...we're an endangered species!
streaming!!!! come on ovah! it's fun time!
Posted 14 years agoSTUNNING!!!
Posted 14 years agoanother artist on here journaled about it...