Been a while, life is weird. Anyway, did some pics, may do more, we will see.
Hope all you furs out there are well, and are remembering to appreciate all the good moments.

I often dwell in the shadow of bad times with my little anxiety monster. He knows just how to keep my brain in a state of fight or flight. So i fight a lot in my head. I'm seeing someone and taking the proper stuff to take care of myself these days so maybe things can change in my life. I was working till i got laid off during "the times. I never got more than an invite from my buddy to reapply. Apparently the previous HR person put it in my file she contacted me but that never happened. So I had some feeling and never went back. I got some money from tragedy as my father passed months before "the times," so I guess i can take this time to be a dad and husband and work on myself. Nothing else new with me, If you need something or whatever you know how notes work.

Been a while since I wrote a journal. Life has been good, Working hard for money, not great money but I am getting back in shape and enjoying what I do. Since my last journal, I have really embraced me, and have allowed myself to be a grown up. Its like my little and big sides merged and it completed the missing part of myself. I even had a dream where I was holding my little self and I just merged with it. Very strange dream indeed. But I don't feel so little these days. And sometimes I miss the times when I could just be little. But I also love who I have become.

I look back on all the time here, and before this on DA. So many years, so many people I have had connections with. Sometimes I feel like I failed here, I lost track of others that I called friend. And I apologize for that. I guess I have just drifted from all of this. I still appreciate all the connections I have made. You all helped me become me, so thank you.

I end up here a couple times a week anymore and that probably won't really change. I have tried drawing a couple times but never really finish anything. I made a couple Mature pics that I know many would like, but I feel awkward posting things like that on this page. This was always a very pg page and and have always had a young character. And then I think, meh, if people don't like it they can click delete. As long as it is marked accordingly. So not sure what I will do.

Besides all that, nothing really new to report on. I hope you all are having wonderful lives and living for you.
MJ

So, I finally grew up and accepted who I am. For the longest time I have denied myself of the things I thought must be crazy, the way I felt, the things that were happening in my life and the types of people who kept showing up. About a month or so ago I was going through what most would call the worst depression one could imagine, my eating habits went to null, my motivation was shit, and I just did not want to exist. I had been experiencing things that seemed out of this world but I have always known they were part of who I was. I was sick sick sick, from my non acknowledgment of who I am as a soul and letting so many take parts of me and use my own self to better them, though really it changed no one. Those I sought to help just fell right back into the same patterns and some even worse. I now realize that I was not helping them at all but just enabling others to continue on their own paths of destruction and hanging out with them in the burning house they refuse to leave. I came out of the depression with a new sense of peace, understanding, and a new attitude. I continue to care about others, though I no longer have a want to give myself to make others feel better, that is not my job. I must be me, and I accept that they must be them. When people want to change they will. If not then there is nothing anyone can do to truly help them. Some would call what I went through a spiritual awakening. Feeling others feeling is a weird concept, having spirits visit is a weird thing to have happen, and knowing that spirit guides really are there and will "poke" you is a strange sensation but I have that stuff happen. I lost a friend in the process of freeing my soul. I was trying to do the same old agree and comfort that I had done for the longest time, and then I just snapped. My soul fought back and called BS on some things that made the person upset. While I do feel bad the way it happened, I know that it needed to happen, not just for me but for them. I know they are a happier person when we are not in contact, talking to me just drew up bad memories, angry feeling and they are trying to live a new better life than when we first came in contact. I will always remember them and hope that their life is happy. I have always just wanted that for people, for them to be free and happy. Moving forward is a mystery for me. So much growth to be done, so much healing to be done, and so much more freedom is to be had. I am not on here much these days as the want and desire to do so has gone to nil. To talk to me pm me, and I will get to you when I am about. I hope all of you have beautiful lives, live without the fear of being judged, and have love in your hearts.

sincerely
MJ

Just a quick hey to all you fuzzy butts out there to let you know I'm still alive and kicking...well maybe not kicking because that's not really nice. Anyway life is life and I don't get too much me time so things like FA get pushed to the back. Still think of you all and hope life is treating you well. *HUGS* to those who would have them and a good day to the rest, or whatever kind of day you would like to have. Later

The new netfix series word party? Very much for bigger kids than me but I can learn too!

here is an ad



And this is the first episode



Really its quite cute, But I feel bad for them cause it seems like no one ever changes their diapiees O.O

Been mostly a lurker these days, Not that I couldn't draw just no real time to do so. Gotta make that time, would be good. Been working with my dad still. Its been good. I have really learned a lot while doing so and have gotten to do some really fun stuff like working with a skid loader. I did hit myself with a fairly heavy pipe though and I come home with cuts and things on a fairly regular basis. I have really built some muscle but still don't loose the fat, oh well hot season coming on strong, lets see if that does it.

Other than that, my fam are good, my daughter gets ever bigger life moves on.

Hope you are all well.
*HUGS* to those who would have them, and great day to the rest, unless you don't want, then have whatever kind of day you do^^

also will be off for a week or so, so if someone should try to get me I won't be here...Today is the 10th

So I find myself again working with my father doing things that I would normally not have done. Right now I am helping him restore some old tractors to sell because he has acquired many over the years with the intent of doing just that. What that means for me is lots of sanding tin to be put on them, trying my best to get all the bangs out and then helping prime and paint them. I also have done a little bit of taking parts off of the tractors and putting them on and helping with wiring and all sorts of stuff that I am not really experienced in. So yeah Its been a learning experience for the most part. May not be what I am used to but money is money I guess.

ALSO, sorry for no new arts as well, just been busy with this stuffs.

I guess thats what has been up with me, how about you guys?

Well looks like my farm time has probably waned till we get some really nice days or maybe not even then. We finished up the pole barn sides I was helping with and got the top pulled on. So I'm back at drawing. Got my last trade done today and have one more request to do before I am caught up with stuff.

NOW...for the question.
I find myself wanting to draw more adult AB/DL stuff but have always kept this account clean and cubby. I did post one in my scraps because of the content and because it was just a sketch but I wanted to know what my watchers thought of the different sort of pictures being posted here or if you think I should have a second account just for that stuff as many do. Let me know what you all think.

Doing some temporary work with my father on his farm so my trades and requests will be delayed a little. Don't see more than a week of work with him. Havent forgotten anyone just going to take longer to complete than when im not working.



Anyway hope all are doing well enough, there has been much tragedy in our world as of late. Wish people could just realize we are all just earthlings and get along. If there is a God it belongs to all people. If I were God I know I would be not happy with my creations killing off the other things I made, especially in my name. Either way what we do to each other is pretty messed up. So love one another, look out for each other, and have a peaceful existence. We are here for such a short time in the relativity of the universe so don't waste it.

*hugs* to those who would have them and peace to the rest

I'm a bit surprised I didn't get more people the last journal but then it was named weird.

Anywho, have time these days to do some pics so let me know if you all would like something or if you know someone who deserves a picture. Trades are great but not required. So let me know^^ Will not be started till Monday, weekends are for family.

so i have some free time while I try to sort out my life.

I would love to do some drawing of others, trades would be great but not necessary. So if you all would like something let me know and I might be able to draw it.

On another note, hope you all are doing well. Always glad to hear from people. I am trying to figure out a job but first I am taking care of anxiety issues that apparently prevent me from doing so...meh... Tried my hand at driving semis but thought I was getting motion sickness....now I think maybe I just wasn't breathing... Anyway hope to get this all under control and find myself something that really interests me. Other than that life goes on and am doing fairly well.

HUGS ALL

Seems like I'm always behind. But I guess that is for good reason. Just moved into a new house. Dealing with an almost 3 year old. Trying to figure out what to do for work. And everything that takes up normal time like dishes laundry and general cleaning. Life goes too fast. Wish I was motivated to do more pics, or talk to others but it is what it is. Anyway life treats me well and all I can do is keep moving forward.

I hope life is treating all of you well and that you can keep moving forward as well.
Till later
MJ

PS if you need anything don't be a stranger, send me a note or page shout or whatever.

PPS *HUGS*

So with that last picture I have finally completed the free pic thing I started back in nov/december. Not really sure, says 4 months O.o. Nice to have those pictures done for all those brave enough to say they would like one.

Now a question...? What kind of style do you guys like best from me? Is it the detailed kind of look I have been doing as of recent, or more line art kind of things? I like to put some shading in no matter what I do but that is just to give pictures depth.

update on me. Got our house sold, not quite what I really wanted out of it, but now I dont have to deal with that anymore. On to really finding a job soon I think. Staying at home is nice, but also a little bit mind racking. Really should go to the doctor as well, been dealing with a head cold kind of thing for far to long. Little one has a head full of stuff that they gave her antibiotic for so maybe I should look into it to. Other than that, Living in this new location has given plenty of stuff to do, but that also costs more money. Guess thats how it goes. We get by alright and after I start working we will be able to really save some money for the future.

How are you all?

Sorry to be slower on the art and getting back to comments and stuffs. In the middle of selling our house and trying to find a job and watching my 2 1/2 year old and life. Working on the last couple of requests from my free art offer so those who I haven't done yet you are still getting drawings, just need a bit more time.

Otherwise, hope everyone is doing well enough.

As always*hugs* to those who would have them a good day to the rest and if you don't want to have a good day have whatever day you want^^

MJ

So, I see the golden rule thrown about quite often...Treat others as you would like to be treated...but this just is not quite right.

Not everyone is you, and treating them as such can make undo grief to others when it was never intended. Say you like chocolate ice cream, and being a great friend, you bring your friend chocolate ice cream thinking man I love this they will too. Well maybe your friend hates chocolate, nothing like bringing something you love and finding that the person really does not want what you brought.

So really the rule should be treat others as they would like to be treated, not as you would like to be treated. Nothing says I respect you and care like finding out what others like first.

*Hugs* to those who would have them, a good day to the rest, unless you don't want to have a good day, then have whatever kind of day you want. And remember I love you all no matter how crazy and different you are!!

MJ

Hope everyone had a fun holiday season! We celebrated Christmas at my parents the weekend before and at my in laws over Christmas. Im not big on Christmas because of how I feel about the commercialism and not being so much a christian myself but it was good to see family anyway. My daughter made out like a bandit from her grandparents and her aunts so more stuff cluttering up my home. The craziest thing she got was mini trampoline and she is only two. Kind of nervous every time she gets on but she seems to like it a great deal. Either way things were pretty tame. New years came and went, drank a bit at home with my wife and watched a bad movie. Was still pretty fun.

Anyway Nappy poo year to everyone , er Happy new year! *chuckles*

Well tis that time of year when people are celebrating holidays, turkey day was not so long ago and the mish mash of holidays is coming in a blink of an eye, SO hope everyone is well and has a season of love and caring.

I also wanted to say thanks to everyone for the comments and favs on all the art I have been doing, meant to comment back then somehow got off track and well....yeah that's how it goes in my life.

Anyway I will keep at making pics the best I can and will talk to you all again soon.

MJ

So I've been wanting to draw but just cant figure out who to draw or what to draw. If you want a pic give an idea with what you want, try to not get too crazy cause I probably wont draw that. One maybe two characters would be best as i get a bit overwhelmed past that. Plus this is free and for fun. I will do my best to get through peoples pics over the coming weeks/months depending on how many I get i suppose. And I will do them in whatever order i choose or not to do. So yeah...who wants a pic?

And if no certain color clothes are specified, I like to do tye dye clothes^^