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Journal: Merry metal 5/11 day
Posted 6 days agoGun powder plot/Guy fawks/ 5/11 day (British's equivalent to 9/11 but failed) info:
-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22YJpJ279_E
-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRi.....UJZ3V5IGZhd2tz
-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUbaD6ku-qw
-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sfnq6yIJ8Ks
Fire, a misunderstood element. Feared by many, associate and symbol of destruction, hatred and terrorism but forgotten for positivities like survival, food preparation of cookery and bakery, incineration for fertile ashes, artistry, warmth, tool for craftmanship and more. Just like humanity, fire is element to tame and handle to use them safely for great things.
-Smokey bear retirement and replaced by Ember the smart fire fox. https://firesmartbc.ca/ember/
-Indigenous people profession on fire handling. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UqxOlwSMqM
-Sacrifice evil by incineration to rest in ashes and feed back to nature they stole for their own waste of existence.
Metaphor: Burning evil and negativity into ashes that feed back into nature which provides us resource, flourishing lush, survival and more.
Why I practice this bizarre English tradition about burning a replica scarecrow of the terrorist in bonfire with firework?
It's not about the parliament or monarchy or nationalism or religion nor politic but it's about ritual of sacrificing evil in bonfire to put end to reign of terror that destroyed, torment, torture, terrorise, abuse and scarred us for rest our life.
Venting out our agony like heavy metal by sacrificial burning to be free and survive by giving back to nature that provide us fresh resource and our life support thus repeating and flourishing the circle of life.
Why it's FNAF's Connection terminated?
Conflicted on controversy?
Misconception debating about:
-Venting out, exposure and justice is revenge, pathetic and misery.
-Execution on abuser is unnecessary murder regardless the unforgivable despicable atrocities committed and lives destroyed.
-Victim is always at fault (Victim blame and scapegoat).
-Abuser must remain protected, supported and accepted at many forms.
-Reports on serious like red flags are just perception which means always remain invalid.
-Abuse is ain't that bad.
And all that nonsence of r*tardation's principle ideology, morality standardisation and cultist fanbase is complete utter offensive, ignorance, disrespectful, manipulative and just pure evil.
In Gun powder plot, i could imagine the disaster of terrorist bombing be. It's be mix of 9/11 and Lemenon's Beirut explosion disaster. Huge wave force thrust bystanders, raining debris and burning ashes, loud boom, possible spread of mass fire surrounding even before great London fire 1666 buildings and smog with mass causalities, disabled, traumatic PTSDs, deaths and Humanitarian crisis.
The Gunpowder Plot of 1605 involved 36 barrels of gunpowder stored beneath the House of Lords — more than enough to cause devastation on a scale unheard of in Europe at the time. Historians estimate that if it had detonated successfully, it would have:
-Completely obliterated Westminster Palace, killing the king, the royal family, the entire government, and everyone nearby.
-Sent shockwaves through London, shattering windows and collapsing nearby houses.
-Created a firestorm similar to the Great Fire of 1666, as early London was densely packed with timber buildings.
-Produced casualties possibly in the thousands, not just from the explosion itself, but from fire and collapsing structures.
-Survivor trauma: Anyone near Westminster would have witnessed horrific injuries, deaths, and fires. Many survivors would likely develop panic attacks, nightmares, and avoidance behaviors — especially around loud noises or smoke.
-Collective paranoia: The fear of another plot would have consumed England. Already, after the failed plot, anti-Catholic hysteria exploded. If it had succeeded, this paranoia would’ve magnified into witch-hunt levels of mass suspicion and purges.
-Cultural trauma: Much like how 9/11 reshaped American identity, a successful 5/11 (Gunpowder Plot) would have permanently scarred English society. Religion and politics would have fused into a narrative of divine vengeance or punishment.
-Generational echo: Families who lost loved ones, or entire communities destroyed, might have passed that trauma down through oral storytelling, superstition, and religious fear.
-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22YJpJ279_E
-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRi.....UJZ3V5IGZhd2tz
-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUbaD6ku-qw
-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sfnq6yIJ8Ks
Fire, a misunderstood element. Feared by many, associate and symbol of destruction, hatred and terrorism but forgotten for positivities like survival, food preparation of cookery and bakery, incineration for fertile ashes, artistry, warmth, tool for craftmanship and more. Just like humanity, fire is element to tame and handle to use them safely for great things.
-Smokey bear retirement and replaced by Ember the smart fire fox. https://firesmartbc.ca/ember/
-Indigenous people profession on fire handling. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UqxOlwSMqM
-Sacrifice evil by incineration to rest in ashes and feed back to nature they stole for their own waste of existence.
Metaphor: Burning evil and negativity into ashes that feed back into nature which provides us resource, flourishing lush, survival and more.
Why I practice this bizarre English tradition about burning a replica scarecrow of the terrorist in bonfire with firework?
It's not about the parliament or monarchy or nationalism or religion nor politic but it's about ritual of sacrificing evil in bonfire to put end to reign of terror that destroyed, torment, torture, terrorise, abuse and scarred us for rest our life.
Venting out our agony like heavy metal by sacrificial burning to be free and survive by giving back to nature that provide us fresh resource and our life support thus repeating and flourishing the circle of life.
Why it's FNAF's Connection terminated?
Conflicted on controversy?
Misconception debating about:
-Venting out, exposure and justice is revenge, pathetic and misery.
-Execution on abuser is unnecessary murder regardless the unforgivable despicable atrocities committed and lives destroyed.
-Victim is always at fault (Victim blame and scapegoat).
-Abuser must remain protected, supported and accepted at many forms.
-Reports on serious like red flags are just perception which means always remain invalid.
-Abuse is ain't that bad.
And all that nonsence of r*tardation's principle ideology, morality standardisation and cultist fanbase is complete utter offensive, ignorance, disrespectful, manipulative and just pure evil.
In Gun powder plot, i could imagine the disaster of terrorist bombing be. It's be mix of 9/11 and Lemenon's Beirut explosion disaster. Huge wave force thrust bystanders, raining debris and burning ashes, loud boom, possible spread of mass fire surrounding even before great London fire 1666 buildings and smog with mass causalities, disabled, traumatic PTSDs, deaths and Humanitarian crisis.
The Gunpowder Plot of 1605 involved 36 barrels of gunpowder stored beneath the House of Lords — more than enough to cause devastation on a scale unheard of in Europe at the time. Historians estimate that if it had detonated successfully, it would have:
-Completely obliterated Westminster Palace, killing the king, the royal family, the entire government, and everyone nearby.
-Sent shockwaves through London, shattering windows and collapsing nearby houses.
-Created a firestorm similar to the Great Fire of 1666, as early London was densely packed with timber buildings.
-Produced casualties possibly in the thousands, not just from the explosion itself, but from fire and collapsing structures.
-Survivor trauma: Anyone near Westminster would have witnessed horrific injuries, deaths, and fires. Many survivors would likely develop panic attacks, nightmares, and avoidance behaviors — especially around loud noises or smoke.
-Collective paranoia: The fear of another plot would have consumed England. Already, after the failed plot, anti-Catholic hysteria exploded. If it had succeeded, this paranoia would’ve magnified into witch-hunt levels of mass suspicion and purges.
-Cultural trauma: Much like how 9/11 reshaped American identity, a successful 5/11 (Gunpowder Plot) would have permanently scarred English society. Religion and politics would have fused into a narrative of divine vengeance or punishment.
-Generational echo: Families who lost loved ones, or entire communities destroyed, might have passed that trauma down through oral storytelling, superstition, and religious fear.
Journal: Ahhh it's a trick - Happy halloween
Posted a week agoSorry i cannot finish both art project; Fnaf 4 fan art and Eldritch hellmongels today due to circumstance. I was hoping to finish both of today but couldn't not.
I been trick or treating today tonight and has collected tons of candies that filled up my bigger bag.
I have been saving up my money to purchase a decent cosplay quality costume for this event due to average mainstream and cheeper costumes are cheeply cringe.
Barely people recognise my new cosplay identity but it is an add on to the partial werewolf.
I absolutely sweat hard from the heat and now exhausted as hell that my feets ache.
Update on halloween trick or treat. 1.11.25
Now i have been counting and measuring the quanity of my candies and the amount is: Weight: 1,000g-950g 36.00oz 2.40lb'oz and 163 individual candies.
I been trick or treating today tonight and has collected tons of candies that filled up my bigger bag.
I have been saving up my money to purchase a decent cosplay quality costume for this event due to average mainstream and cheeper costumes are cheeply cringe.
Barely people recognise my new cosplay identity but it is an add on to the partial werewolf.
I absolutely sweat hard from the heat and now exhausted as hell that my feets ache.
Update on halloween trick or treat. 1.11.25
Now i have been counting and measuring the quanity of my candies and the amount is: Weight: 1,000g-950g 36.00oz 2.40lb'oz and 163 individual candies.
Journal: If something exist, there sh*t of it.
Posted a month agoJournal: If something exist, there sh*t of it.
Rule 34: There is porn of it. No exceptions.
In the past, I am disappoint there's no content of it. Now made it reality that there is sh*t on it.
I fought for freedom of creativity but Auschwitz haux got what he want then there be no sh*t of it, nothing but sanitized censorship dictated by my online abuser in online domestic abuse.
I have struggled with my own morality crisis and content regulation to avoid responsibly created illegal and inappropriate snuff contents. Dark fantasies even from my past outdated has haunted me ever since and super cringy.
I have began to embrace BDSM themes (without the leather, latex, gag and more) on my sketches that average mature-adult rated escapism viewers might be happy with it as they did complain even some throws temper tantrum against my crude content using NSFW/Fetish theme mixed with other adult elements that I made a journal address the issue and confess about it: https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11204809/.
Just avoid making unethical, inappropriate and illegal snuff contents like using real life people, underage minors, non-anthropomorphic animals, someone's OC and persona, non-consent, dark history and more for wrong reason. It sometime get overlap in vent, parody and crude maturity but as along it handles taboo safely.
Freedom isn’t about harming others; it’s about exploring taboo safely.
For example I was the only few rare artist who made redcoat vore. If there's no or little few redcoat vore (Redcoat vore pred), there be more of it exist. I create it to make my dream come true.
-https://www.furaffinity.net/search/?q=redcoat+vore
-https://www.deviantart.com/search?q=redcoat+vore
-https://www.pixiv.net/tags/redcoat%.....s?s_mode=s_tag
As someone into vore, I get fussy about it but it's just like pansexual and depends on what i'm comfortable.
Rule 34: There is porn of it. No exceptions.
In the past, I am disappoint there's no content of it. Now made it reality that there is sh*t on it.
I fought for freedom of creativity but Auschwitz haux got what he want then there be no sh*t of it, nothing but sanitized censorship dictated by my online abuser in online domestic abuse.
I have struggled with my own morality crisis and content regulation to avoid responsibly created illegal and inappropriate snuff contents. Dark fantasies even from my past outdated has haunted me ever since and super cringy.
I have began to embrace BDSM themes (without the leather, latex, gag and more) on my sketches that average mature-adult rated escapism viewers might be happy with it as they did complain even some throws temper tantrum against my crude content using NSFW/Fetish theme mixed with other adult elements that I made a journal address the issue and confess about it: https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11204809/.
Just avoid making unethical, inappropriate and illegal snuff contents like using real life people, underage minors, non-anthropomorphic animals, someone's OC and persona, non-consent, dark history and more for wrong reason. It sometime get overlap in vent, parody and crude maturity but as along it handles taboo safely.
Freedom isn’t about harming others; it’s about exploring taboo safely.
For example I was the only few rare artist who made redcoat vore. If there's no or little few redcoat vore (Redcoat vore pred), there be more of it exist. I create it to make my dream come true.
-https://www.furaffinity.net/search/?q=redcoat+vore
-https://www.deviantart.com/search?q=redcoat+vore
-https://www.pixiv.net/tags/redcoat%.....s?s_mode=s_tag
As someone into vore, I get fussy about it but it's just like pansexual and depends on what i'm comfortable.
Journal: How I overcome my fear of horror as pre-teen kid
Posted a month agoJust want to share something personally wholesome of my insane childhood achievement of How I overcome my fear of horror as pre-teen kid and it all thanks to Five nights at Freddy's.
When I was a kid, I wasn't allowed to consume horror genre as It would give me nightmare in bedtime and sleep. Even horrors for kids like Scooby doo is been avoid by changing the channel.
The first encounter of FNAF is in August 2014 me and my siblings watching the youtube channel: I has cupcake, after watching her Minecraft let's play (I think), I wanted to watch her animation video but my sibling mistaken it with FNAF video icon and clicked on it anyway. I didn't clarify it and just watch anyway. We watch the video until Bonnie jumpscare that scared us hell out of us all that closed the device. After the Jumpscare incident, the FNAF is has been popping up like wildfire that it even crossover with other franchise like MLP. I began to gain curiosity but still scared to view FNAF content online.
In early 2015, I was began to be brave enough to watch FNAF content while covering and skipping scary scene and looked at GIF clip on FNAF jumpscare on images. I gain a lot of confident that I felt brave enough to consume FNAF content without covering and skipping scary scene. I become fascinated with FNAF lore, theories, teasers and fan made. I remember one day in evening in my room watching being hooked into FNAF lore and theories, the cop showed up at door. My parent answered and chat with the cop but I don't know what it Is but that the time I thought It was me watching FNAF content as I know FNAF is forbidden in my family rules.
I began to draw FNAF content even in my flipnotes and childhood imagination about FNAF. I did had few moment of having FNAF nightmare in bedtime and slumber as I remember covering myself under quilt when I thought the FNAF animatronics occur to jumpscare and kill me.
Another horror I was hopped into obsession is my favourite nostalgic MLP's Rainbow factory at 2015 due to songs are such a banger that made me fell in love on Rainbow factory. That made fascinated to watch stories about the rainbow factory. I made my own version on Flipnote, rip off version of Rainbow factory like the Money factory by capitalist (It's fricking stupid of transforming bodies into money but fits well as metaphor for how lives been exploited into cash like trafficking, exploitation, hitman and assassination, gambling, harvesting and more) and put my Ponysona in coercion as factory's slave. I don't why my Ponysona as worker in rainbow factory but by the resemble of the character, it's more likely to be victim of trafficking slavery and adduction to coerced slave.
Years later in my early teen, I began to view Creepypasta content out of curiosity then to urban legends to demons to haunted location and abandon location exploration. I remember Smile dog freak me out terrified the most because of disturbing image depicting Smile dog in sadistic uncanny grinning and glaring eyes, same along with and Pokémon Lavender town and Buried alive (zombie trainer with zombie smash bro hands) https://villainsfanon.fandom.com/wiki/Buried_Alive that also freaked me out while Squidward s**cide made me stay up all night until morning.
It was years later I began to view horror content and related like dark history, disaster (both artificial and natural), true crime (both murder, predator hunting and exposing, trafficking, predation and more) as whole. I was so curious about understand the horror and how true crimes, disasters and dark histories shows me how horror works naturally that unrealistic fictional interpretations made me cringed.
In halloween as me kid, my parent forbid me to commit trick or treating collector. I never been collecting in treat or treat in my whole until i left my family and able to go trick or treating collecting by myself. I figured it out by myself of how to do it by going to house with lighted pumpkin. I got confident after my first collecting and successful. I contuined to trick or treating collecting that i my capacity is filled up that i have to use by backpack for extra storage. I cosplayed as werewolf ever since as werewolf are my favourite monster but also metaphor about me personally.
Now days i used horror to vent out my personal experience by crafting and viewing contents. In 2024, introduce the new genre of horror in my social media in halloween month then been overlapped with another genre vent art contents.
I have drawn fan art to been uploaded online of FNAF, Smile dog and Mystery flesh national park so far.
When I was a kid, I wasn't allowed to consume horror genre as It would give me nightmare in bedtime and sleep. Even horrors for kids like Scooby doo is been avoid by changing the channel.
The first encounter of FNAF is in August 2014 me and my siblings watching the youtube channel: I has cupcake, after watching her Minecraft let's play (I think), I wanted to watch her animation video but my sibling mistaken it with FNAF video icon and clicked on it anyway. I didn't clarify it and just watch anyway. We watch the video until Bonnie jumpscare that scared us hell out of us all that closed the device. After the Jumpscare incident, the FNAF is has been popping up like wildfire that it even crossover with other franchise like MLP. I began to gain curiosity but still scared to view FNAF content online.
In early 2015, I was began to be brave enough to watch FNAF content while covering and skipping scary scene and looked at GIF clip on FNAF jumpscare on images. I gain a lot of confident that I felt brave enough to consume FNAF content without covering and skipping scary scene. I become fascinated with FNAF lore, theories, teasers and fan made. I remember one day in evening in my room watching being hooked into FNAF lore and theories, the cop showed up at door. My parent answered and chat with the cop but I don't know what it Is but that the time I thought It was me watching FNAF content as I know FNAF is forbidden in my family rules.
I began to draw FNAF content even in my flipnotes and childhood imagination about FNAF. I did had few moment of having FNAF nightmare in bedtime and slumber as I remember covering myself under quilt when I thought the FNAF animatronics occur to jumpscare and kill me.
Another horror I was hopped into obsession is my favourite nostalgic MLP's Rainbow factory at 2015 due to songs are such a banger that made me fell in love on Rainbow factory. That made fascinated to watch stories about the rainbow factory. I made my own version on Flipnote, rip off version of Rainbow factory like the Money factory by capitalist (It's fricking stupid of transforming bodies into money but fits well as metaphor for how lives been exploited into cash like trafficking, exploitation, hitman and assassination, gambling, harvesting and more) and put my Ponysona in coercion as factory's slave. I don't why my Ponysona as worker in rainbow factory but by the resemble of the character, it's more likely to be victim of trafficking slavery and adduction to coerced slave.
Years later in my early teen, I began to view Creepypasta content out of curiosity then to urban legends to demons to haunted location and abandon location exploration. I remember Smile dog freak me out terrified the most because of disturbing image depicting Smile dog in sadistic uncanny grinning and glaring eyes, same along with and Pokémon Lavender town and Buried alive (zombie trainer with zombie smash bro hands) https://villainsfanon.fandom.com/wiki/Buried_Alive that also freaked me out while Squidward s**cide made me stay up all night until morning.
It was years later I began to view horror content and related like dark history, disaster (both artificial and natural), true crime (both murder, predator hunting and exposing, trafficking, predation and more) as whole. I was so curious about understand the horror and how true crimes, disasters and dark histories shows me how horror works naturally that unrealistic fictional interpretations made me cringed.
In halloween as me kid, my parent forbid me to commit trick or treating collector. I never been collecting in treat or treat in my whole until i left my family and able to go trick or treating collecting by myself. I figured it out by myself of how to do it by going to house with lighted pumpkin. I got confident after my first collecting and successful. I contuined to trick or treating collecting that i my capacity is filled up that i have to use by backpack for extra storage. I cosplayed as werewolf ever since as werewolf are my favourite monster but also metaphor about me personally.
Now days i used horror to vent out my personal experience by crafting and viewing contents. In 2024, introduce the new genre of horror in my social media in halloween month then been overlapped with another genre vent art contents.
I have drawn fan art to been uploaded online of FNAF, Smile dog and Mystery flesh national park so far.
Journal: New social media: Pinksky
Posted 2 months agoI discover a Bluesky's version of instagram called: Pinksky. https://pinksky.app/profile/d2g.bsky.social
I began to upload my gallery until i checked my Bluesky that i accidently reupload my artworks i already posted before.
It all began when i was browsing for
naoma-hiru (AKA: Sushisushii) other social media for content until link to Pinksky and it's Instagram alternative.
I began to upload my gallery until i checked my Bluesky that i accidently reupload my artworks i already posted before.
It all began when i was browsing for
naoma-hiru (AKA: Sushisushii) other social media for content until link to Pinksky and it's Instagram alternative.Journal: Mood swing on confidence with risking taking and ..
Posted 2 months agoJournal: Mood swing on confidence with risking taking and shyness of regret being cocky
I had promised about the welfare check that struggle with confidence, responsibility of my action and trying to message people to improve. I know that it feels like to be abandoned and rejected by society mobs that they see me as unstable villain and then lashed out of me but now I struggling.
I don't do safeguarding because i'm not professionally trained in both theory, practical and drill. I struggle of either I informed the police or approved 3rd party support organisation or not. As an experience abuse victim, I know how it feels to struggle to open up, report and help the safeguarding team because I felt so forgiving my abuser and abuse been normalised that have to suck it up and ain't big of deal. So it's commonly the same for other victims to think they are okay, constant false alarms and having to endure due to illusion of their fault and self doubting except being condemn.
I don't want them to lash out and inflicting pick on me that trigger my trauma and survival instinctively self defense.
I learn that I can't always save everyone on either they died or irredeemable as depend on choice, stubbornness, misfortune, too late, blocked by iron curtain, backstabbed and more. It's the hard truth that bring guilt and that's why some villain are formed but it least i'm not like them as it's parallel between us in different self-fate from our choice as core person.
I don't want someone just like me end up became what mine and their abusers what they want is to repeat the spread of abuse of how the victim became the abuser. This validate and justify the abusers/oppressors of their evil deeds is righteous answer and give the illusion the abusers are not evil but it's actually the victim the "real" villain the whole time.
I learn the most helpful and life saving that prevent martyrdom is: That i'm not responsible for everyone's action, it is their own responsibility but I am responsible for my own action.
If I am "responsible" that I didn't commit in action but it's actually done by misfortune, entrapment and someone else, this is actually: Blame, thus shifting blame on me as false accusation from either or combination of: conspiracy, framed, entrapment, twisting narrative, paranoia, condemn, discipline and unrealistic expectation.
The best way for me to do is just leave helpline in my sensitive artworks like personal vent, dark and fragile topics and more but when reach out in DM or Email may be I should give helplines links.
No one need to always relay on me as police officer and there no need to become piggish vigilante like a corrupt cop on independent vigilantism justice, more sanctimonious faux hero gangsters and mobsters that will eventually get devoured whole. You need to train yourself of how to be appropriately vigilant is by learn from courses and practical experience like First aid, Welfare checks, Mental illness, wellness, safeguarding and more and also additional option of volunteer in emergency services like the police force. It's my suggestion advice of the idea but it depend on available resource, opportunity, budgeting, support, travel, local organisation and complexity.
I had promised about the welfare check that struggle with confidence, responsibility of my action and trying to message people to improve. I know that it feels like to be abandoned and rejected by society mobs that they see me as unstable villain and then lashed out of me but now I struggling.
I don't do safeguarding because i'm not professionally trained in both theory, practical and drill. I struggle of either I informed the police or approved 3rd party support organisation or not. As an experience abuse victim, I know how it feels to struggle to open up, report and help the safeguarding team because I felt so forgiving my abuser and abuse been normalised that have to suck it up and ain't big of deal. So it's commonly the same for other victims to think they are okay, constant false alarms and having to endure due to illusion of their fault and self doubting except being condemn.
I don't want them to lash out and inflicting pick on me that trigger my trauma and survival instinctively self defense.
I learn that I can't always save everyone on either they died or irredeemable as depend on choice, stubbornness, misfortune, too late, blocked by iron curtain, backstabbed and more. It's the hard truth that bring guilt and that's why some villain are formed but it least i'm not like them as it's parallel between us in different self-fate from our choice as core person.
I don't want someone just like me end up became what mine and their abusers what they want is to repeat the spread of abuse of how the victim became the abuser. This validate and justify the abusers/oppressors of their evil deeds is righteous answer and give the illusion the abusers are not evil but it's actually the victim the "real" villain the whole time.
I learn the most helpful and life saving that prevent martyrdom is: That i'm not responsible for everyone's action, it is their own responsibility but I am responsible for my own action.
If I am "responsible" that I didn't commit in action but it's actually done by misfortune, entrapment and someone else, this is actually: Blame, thus shifting blame on me as false accusation from either or combination of: conspiracy, framed, entrapment, twisting narrative, paranoia, condemn, discipline and unrealistic expectation.
The best way for me to do is just leave helpline in my sensitive artworks like personal vent, dark and fragile topics and more but when reach out in DM or Email may be I should give helplines links.
No one need to always relay on me as police officer and there no need to become piggish vigilante like a corrupt cop on independent vigilantism justice, more sanctimonious faux hero gangsters and mobsters that will eventually get devoured whole. You need to train yourself of how to be appropriately vigilant is by learn from courses and practical experience like First aid, Welfare checks, Mental illness, wellness, safeguarding and more and also additional option of volunteer in emergency services like the police force. It's my suggestion advice of the idea but it depend on available resource, opportunity, budgeting, support, travel, local organisation and complexity.
Journal: Do the demons me tell what to do?
Posted 2 months agoDo intrusive thoughts demon tell me what to do?
Barely but more commonly driving me by herding me around like livestock to my fate. This limit my action thus preventing to do anything and losing motivation of fear of giving want they want me to end up and become. I can't fend for myself and brought justice to held accountable due to fear to end up what they want. It is entrapment everywhere. Any path I take is always entrapment.
They calls me names and characterise me into offensive caricature to be stereotyped to give people biased to stochastic terrorism and become devoted brainwashed cult member to the demon.
They always told me I belong to bad side as my destined set up by them dictatorial. They always conspiratorially believe of everything about me is inherently intent evil, the action, communication, crafty, relationship, artistically, normal, healthy, Samaritan, self help, kindness, decision, humanity, dignity and even simply existing is nothing but evil to them and they will zealotly ensure their rhetoric delusional fanatic derange web of lies and distorted narrative twisted reality is the truth regardless their fantasy reality is load of rubbish.
They preyed upon me for any flaws and mistake, no wonder why predator hunting (like To catch a predator) is my favourite type of hunting of all times.
I get accused, framed, blamed and entrapment a lot, no matter how face palming load of rubbish their reasoning and motive is. Just simply leave me alone completely at all cost, plain and simple.
This Is frustrating miscaption about being an evil alter ego but mine is 3rd party character who has mind of their own. I blamed this stereotyping problem onto true crime criminals who fake mental illness to get plead for insanity to get slap on the wrist while actual mental illness, disordered and abuse survivors like me suffered. I also blamed the officials for being ignorant (excuse for bigotry) and failing to distinguish fraudster faux and legit that get mistreated, stigmatised, marginalised and neglected.
This made distress, depress, angry, stigmatised, alone, loss control on myself by foreign force, violated, pain and limited.
Barely but more commonly driving me by herding me around like livestock to my fate. This limit my action thus preventing to do anything and losing motivation of fear of giving want they want me to end up and become. I can't fend for myself and brought justice to held accountable due to fear to end up what they want. It is entrapment everywhere. Any path I take is always entrapment.
They calls me names and characterise me into offensive caricature to be stereotyped to give people biased to stochastic terrorism and become devoted brainwashed cult member to the demon.
They always told me I belong to bad side as my destined set up by them dictatorial. They always conspiratorially believe of everything about me is inherently intent evil, the action, communication, crafty, relationship, artistically, normal, healthy, Samaritan, self help, kindness, decision, humanity, dignity and even simply existing is nothing but evil to them and they will zealotly ensure their rhetoric delusional fanatic derange web of lies and distorted narrative twisted reality is the truth regardless their fantasy reality is load of rubbish.
They preyed upon me for any flaws and mistake, no wonder why predator hunting (like To catch a predator) is my favourite type of hunting of all times.
I get accused, framed, blamed and entrapment a lot, no matter how face palming load of rubbish their reasoning and motive is. Just simply leave me alone completely at all cost, plain and simple.
This Is frustrating miscaption about being an evil alter ego but mine is 3rd party character who has mind of their own. I blamed this stereotyping problem onto true crime criminals who fake mental illness to get plead for insanity to get slap on the wrist while actual mental illness, disordered and abuse survivors like me suffered. I also blamed the officials for being ignorant (excuse for bigotry) and failing to distinguish fraudster faux and legit that get mistreated, stigmatised, marginalised and neglected.
This made distress, depress, angry, stigmatised, alone, loss control on myself by foreign force, violated, pain and limited.
Journal: Introducing a new sub-genre under vent is Horrorcow
Posted 2 months agoI wanted to introduce a new sub-genre under vent about Horrorcow farm on my intrusive thoughts demon and what going in within. Yes it is cry for help but in way for people to change themselves by sacrificing their biased, prejudice, bigotry, stereotyping and misconception, rejecting propaganda and brainwash from grooming, manipulation and association with abusers, resensitise, relate, resonate, connect and understanding in both morality, relationship, habit, belief, philosophically, ideologically, perception, empathically, humanising and more.
It is about documenting behaviour and action of the intrusive thoughts demons as profiling them.
Inspired from Lolcow farms like Kiwi farm, Encyclopaedia dramatica, youtubers and more.
Personal sensitivity as victims (me) must be respected, not discriminate, violate, tragicize and stigmatise while never sympathise, flatteries, humanise, glorify, glamorise, justify, respectively, accepting, forgiving, supportive and more the abusers and intrusive thoughts demons as it's forbidden and no excuse for this but if dare to is downplaying, disrespectful, reckless endangerment, discrimination, betrayal, getting corrupted, radicalisation, violation and more.
Helps to spread awareness about psychosis and intrusive thoughts condition like PSTD, OCD and schizophrenia and also aftermath of how trauma develop these condition and abuse is never the answer.
It's bulldozing the Iron curtain Berlin wall to reveal shocking truth and realisation that automatically debunk the misconceptions that made the cultish relationship with abusers to cutting tie divorce.
It is about documenting behaviour and action of the intrusive thoughts demons as profiling them.
Inspired from Lolcow farms like Kiwi farm, Encyclopaedia dramatica, youtubers and more.
Personal sensitivity as victims (me) must be respected, not discriminate, violate, tragicize and stigmatise while never sympathise, flatteries, humanise, glorify, glamorise, justify, respectively, accepting, forgiving, supportive and more the abusers and intrusive thoughts demons as it's forbidden and no excuse for this but if dare to is downplaying, disrespectful, reckless endangerment, discrimination, betrayal, getting corrupted, radicalisation, violation and more.
Helps to spread awareness about psychosis and intrusive thoughts condition like PSTD, OCD and schizophrenia and also aftermath of how trauma develop these condition and abuse is never the answer.
It's bulldozing the Iron curtain Berlin wall to reveal shocking truth and realisation that automatically debunk the misconceptions that made the cultish relationship with abusers to cutting tie divorce.
Journal: Maturity vs man childish in adult/Mature content
Posted 2 months agoThere is conflict within about the issue of clash between Maturity and Man-childish in Adult and Mature rating content in socia media.
I have been using adult and mature elements as tool to display story, theming and character on explore within senario, vent, fantasy and more just like media like Blue-eyed samurai, Cyberpunk edgerunner, Primal (Series), Bojack horseman and more. However I notice audience prefer man-childish in-your-face (like the infamous Fixed trailer) + edgy for sake edgy and fantasy as purity standardisation, not the opposite/other form in adult and mature rating contents in communities. It took me long time puzzling of why some of my artwork didn't go well until in E621 on the vore artwork: Hit n stopped: https://e621.net/posts/5784298?q=us.....miemonstadoggo (I will address the mad p**dophile mobs i pissed them off in the room in next journal), one of comment mention of disallow politic in fetish as better be separate. (Well i'm ain't being political intentional but the villainies prey is presented as individualistically virtue signal hypocrite as suppose intention) This explain about the mystery but I recognise something not right of public perception and preference is they prefer the man-childish in-your-face instead of element used as tool maturity. The conflict about what it means for a content to be "adult."
On one side:
Mature storytelling: using adult-rated elements (violence, sexuality, trauma, etc.) as tools for deeper themes, symbolism, or character choices. This is where the content isn’t just there for shock value but is meaningful, nuanced, and layered. Good examples would be films or comics that handle dark material with purpose, showing growth, consequence, or metaphor.
On the other side:
Crude "man-child" adult content: stuff that throws in sex jokes, gore, vulgar, raunchiness, provokives, profanity or shock just for the surface appeal. It’s “adult” only in rating, not in actual depth. Like i said, things in the vein of the Sausage Party movie or the Fixed trailer — exaggerated, in-your-face, and shallow, often disguising immaturity under an R-rating.
In my background of why I do what I do is elements as tool maturity? Is from the media review community especially Animated flim, comic/manhwa/manga and video game reviews. Critics hate the man-childish stuff as I do agree of how infantilising for adult to treat us adult junk of crudeness, edgy, gross, sex, taboo drugs, gore, violation, profanity, vulgar, provokives, raunchiness, fetishization and sexualisation (UWU/OWO) and more while we wanted maturity, exploring themes, growth, development and more on adult and matures elements as tools like characterisation, character decision, worldbuilding and more.
There is interesting case of on animated film Fixed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vL-oQ3LSiZI + https://youtu.be/1yjBVhJpOdM?si=qsv4xNCoGmnrzT2y. When the trailer dropped, it featured all the check list of being on adult R rated in cringy man-childish presentation that made the trailer infamous but when Fixed released, the surprise audience of being decent mediocre film with mixed reviews that have potential but has a maturity of character growth, arc, theming and relationship.
It is tug of war between the right's to express and freedom in artistry vs standardisation content control.
Zeekayart's my problem with modern adult animation https://youtu.be/N2BupiP02MU?si=qF3E-ozLnhL3ogb1 and Movieunleashers's MY VERY OWN TV - DDS: https://youtu.be/AHUGCmlLCHc?si=blpWJ61pshUYtFVI
My own work and journals often sit on the first side: you use adult themes (vore, abuse, violence, etc.) not for cheap thrills but as metaphor, catharsis, and social commentary. That’s why sometimes people online misread it — they lump it with the second type of content instead of seeing it as the first.
In my previous Journal Content regulation, rejustment, inspiration and +:https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11174549/
I been going through moral crisis and addressing issue on section about NSFW BDSM fetish kink being too far into extremism snuff content of sexualising and fetishizing abuse, non-consent, grooming and disposable as this content has bothered and disturbed me.
Well the demon: Sweatycandycane always tries to challenge me vindictively maliciously as every new debates on solved question that put me in crisis and beef with someone.
Maybe I will possibly adapted to pure fetish kink BDSM of vorephilia with romance or bonding relationship in Adult rating but without featuring when any inappropriate demographics (non-consentables) like (regular/feral) animals, underage minors, developmental delay, dementia, victims (+survivors), recovering addict (especially sex addict) and more is present.
Here’s what’s happening:
My Intent
My use adult elements (vore, pred/prey, etc.) as tools for metaphor, catharsis, and calling out abuse/hypocrisy.
As my goal isn’t just to titillate — it’s to process trauma, deliver commentary, and sometimes to shock people into awareness.
As i see "adult" as a storytelling layer, not just a fetish switch.
The Audience’s Expectation
A big chunk of the furry/adult art community sees “adult rating” = fetish space.
Many want a “safe bubble” where they can enjoy kinks without the intrusion of politics, trauma, or social critique.
So when you inject serious themes into spaces where others expect “fun escapism,” they feel confronted — sometimes defensively.
The Clash
Comments like the one you showed (“I prefer to keep fetishes and political stuff apart”) reflect this divide.
To them, my art "breaks the contract" of what they think adult-rated furry content is supposed to be.
To me, their reaction shows how shallow and hypocritical some parts of the community are — they want the “fantasy” but not the accountability.
Why i Struggle?
Because my work sits in-between: too adult for “pure social critique” circles, too confrontational for “pure fetish-only” circles.
I'm not fully embraced by either side, which can feel isolating — like your audience doesn’t get my purpose.
I notice how some audience are hypocritical because how mixed adult themes (sexual/kink/fetish + other adult theme/element) is taboo but not for media and certain social media.
If i'm not allowed to put rated Mature and Adult, then I cannot leave it general/normal/family-friendly because of exposing to inappropriate demographic like underage minors. This is entrapment to justify pathetic backlash on me by make the problematic villain who commit a crime. They are the REAL Mackenzie river husky prey attempted massacre from Hit n stopped, tries to bulldoze ramification on me fatally on hit and run.
I have been using adult and mature elements as tool to display story, theming and character on explore within senario, vent, fantasy and more just like media like Blue-eyed samurai, Cyberpunk edgerunner, Primal (Series), Bojack horseman and more. However I notice audience prefer man-childish in-your-face (like the infamous Fixed trailer) + edgy for sake edgy and fantasy as purity standardisation, not the opposite/other form in adult and mature rating contents in communities. It took me long time puzzling of why some of my artwork didn't go well until in E621 on the vore artwork: Hit n stopped: https://e621.net/posts/5784298?q=us.....miemonstadoggo (I will address the mad p**dophile mobs i pissed them off in the room in next journal), one of comment mention of disallow politic in fetish as better be separate. (Well i'm ain't being political intentional but the villainies prey is presented as individualistically virtue signal hypocrite as suppose intention) This explain about the mystery but I recognise something not right of public perception and preference is they prefer the man-childish in-your-face instead of element used as tool maturity. The conflict about what it means for a content to be "adult."
On one side:
Mature storytelling: using adult-rated elements (violence, sexuality, trauma, etc.) as tools for deeper themes, symbolism, or character choices. This is where the content isn’t just there for shock value but is meaningful, nuanced, and layered. Good examples would be films or comics that handle dark material with purpose, showing growth, consequence, or metaphor.
On the other side:
Crude "man-child" adult content: stuff that throws in sex jokes, gore, vulgar, raunchiness, provokives, profanity or shock just for the surface appeal. It’s “adult” only in rating, not in actual depth. Like i said, things in the vein of the Sausage Party movie or the Fixed trailer — exaggerated, in-your-face, and shallow, often disguising immaturity under an R-rating.
In my background of why I do what I do is elements as tool maturity? Is from the media review community especially Animated flim, comic/manhwa/manga and video game reviews. Critics hate the man-childish stuff as I do agree of how infantilising for adult to treat us adult junk of crudeness, edgy, gross, sex, taboo drugs, gore, violation, profanity, vulgar, provokives, raunchiness, fetishization and sexualisation (UWU/OWO) and more while we wanted maturity, exploring themes, growth, development and more on adult and matures elements as tools like characterisation, character decision, worldbuilding and more.
There is interesting case of on animated film Fixed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vL-oQ3LSiZI + https://youtu.be/1yjBVhJpOdM?si=qsv4xNCoGmnrzT2y. When the trailer dropped, it featured all the check list of being on adult R rated in cringy man-childish presentation that made the trailer infamous but when Fixed released, the surprise audience of being decent mediocre film with mixed reviews that have potential but has a maturity of character growth, arc, theming and relationship.
It is tug of war between the right's to express and freedom in artistry vs standardisation content control.
Zeekayart's my problem with modern adult animation https://youtu.be/N2BupiP02MU?si=qF3E-ozLnhL3ogb1 and Movieunleashers's MY VERY OWN TV - DDS: https://youtu.be/AHUGCmlLCHc?si=blpWJ61pshUYtFVI
My own work and journals often sit on the first side: you use adult themes (vore, abuse, violence, etc.) not for cheap thrills but as metaphor, catharsis, and social commentary. That’s why sometimes people online misread it — they lump it with the second type of content instead of seeing it as the first.
In my previous Journal Content regulation, rejustment, inspiration and +:https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11174549/
I been going through moral crisis and addressing issue on section about NSFW BDSM fetish kink being too far into extremism snuff content of sexualising and fetishizing abuse, non-consent, grooming and disposable as this content has bothered and disturbed me.
Well the demon: Sweatycandycane always tries to challenge me vindictively maliciously as every new debates on solved question that put me in crisis and beef with someone.
Maybe I will possibly adapted to pure fetish kink BDSM of vorephilia with romance or bonding relationship in Adult rating but without featuring when any inappropriate demographics (non-consentables) like (regular/feral) animals, underage minors, developmental delay, dementia, victims (+survivors), recovering addict (especially sex addict) and more is present.
Here’s what’s happening:
My Intent
My use adult elements (vore, pred/prey, etc.) as tools for metaphor, catharsis, and calling out abuse/hypocrisy.
As my goal isn’t just to titillate — it’s to process trauma, deliver commentary, and sometimes to shock people into awareness.
As i see "adult" as a storytelling layer, not just a fetish switch.
The Audience’s Expectation
A big chunk of the furry/adult art community sees “adult rating” = fetish space.
Many want a “safe bubble” where they can enjoy kinks without the intrusion of politics, trauma, or social critique.
So when you inject serious themes into spaces where others expect “fun escapism,” they feel confronted — sometimes defensively.
The Clash
Comments like the one you showed (“I prefer to keep fetishes and political stuff apart”) reflect this divide.
To them, my art "breaks the contract" of what they think adult-rated furry content is supposed to be.
To me, their reaction shows how shallow and hypocritical some parts of the community are — they want the “fantasy” but not the accountability.
Why i Struggle?
Because my work sits in-between: too adult for “pure social critique” circles, too confrontational for “pure fetish-only” circles.
I'm not fully embraced by either side, which can feel isolating — like your audience doesn’t get my purpose.
I notice how some audience are hypocritical because how mixed adult themes (sexual/kink/fetish + other adult theme/element) is taboo but not for media and certain social media.
If i'm not allowed to put rated Mature and Adult, then I cannot leave it general/normal/family-friendly because of exposing to inappropriate demographic like underage minors. This is entrapment to justify pathetic backlash on me by make the problematic villain who commit a crime. They are the REAL Mackenzie river husky prey attempted massacre from Hit n stopped, tries to bulldoze ramification on me fatally on hit and run.
Journal: New social media: Mastodon
Posted 2 months agoAnother new social media account add to my massive empire to be available to audience preferring alternatives and obscurity.
Gosh my empire is becoming bigger as British, Russian and Mongolian empire that I hope they won't dare to compete on me (joke).
Here's a new Mastodon account: https://mastodon.social/@Jammiemonstadoggo
I discovered Mastodon on Pixiv after i uploaded the artwork that the site notify me the artwork has uploaded succesfully and should i shared to other social medias which i always share onto to X/Twitter. I decide the check out others social media i haven't been to and discover Mastodon as X/Twitter alternatives like a another Bluesky. So decide to give it try and sign up a new account to experience it.
Gosh my empire is becoming bigger as British, Russian and Mongolian empire that I hope they won't dare to compete on me (joke).
Here's a new Mastodon account: https://mastodon.social/@Jammiemonstadoggo
I discovered Mastodon on Pixiv after i uploaded the artwork that the site notify me the artwork has uploaded succesfully and should i shared to other social medias which i always share onto to X/Twitter. I decide the check out others social media i haven't been to and discover Mastodon as X/Twitter alternatives like a another Bluesky. So decide to give it try and sign up a new account to experience it.
Journal: Why I tagged a lot of words?
Posted 2 months agoSimply trying to get my creation picked up by algorism, recognisable, searchable, accessible and attention in competing social media as a small content creator artist with small followings and favs.
I didn't mean to abuse it even spamming it but i'm just trying to honest as possible by tagging word primarily what featured in artwork and use related and alternate words for example, single word: Furry = (related and alternate words:) animal, beast, creature, critter, species, fauna, organism, anthro or feral, either mammal, reptile, fish, anthropoid, avian, amphibian, crustaceous nor insect and more.
I felt like I miss pronounce words from my accent or dialect or bad memories of confusing how word been spelt.
I'm ain't asking for popularity to become celebrity, this is nightmare full as target for degeneracy like predators and exploiters, overrated trend, commentating and been dragged into drama to cancellation by judgemental people who are like Creepshowart, Prisonmate luke and other infamous commentary peoples as example.
It is been buried, forgotten, overcompeted, failing and being zombie that suppose to be dead.
I'm ain't profiting from social media as you don't see any commercialisation and donation regardless I been hesitating on it and already did set account on patreon, Ko-fi and more. I just concern about any trace of leaking my banking and finance address and details, I just prioritise to leave me a f**k alone for nosy stalkers who profile me into endangerment and abuse. I had enemies before but my humanising I causing trouble on degenerates which Is there own problem and responsible of their own action.
Seeing my content went successful is rewarding and addicting but when went viral is insane life achievement. I don't like chasing trends and using clickbait cringe, I prefer to make original contents that I like to make.
An youtube video from Gaijin Goombah uploaded video: YouTubers Called Out by Yokai Anime... AGAIN! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBM.....z3&index=7 has made a big impact on me about the moral lesson about passion vs chasing trend but this is also has explain bit of me.
I focus on passionate project but i'm afraid to having to follow the algorism rule, I always continue to make passionate contents and will push it to the surface to be seem in this competing burial of common slop brainrot and real propaganda contents that keep suffocating passionate decent contents deep underneath. I never want my content to be elite only accese especially abusers who only keep good stuff to themselves and share it approve minion while isolating away from victims, "foes" and more, just left to consume brainrot junk slop but just only for diversity regardless how wealth, livihood, culture, race, gender, sexualities, ethnicities and more. There certain genre of my contents that better off to certain community for good reason like vore example as better off only stick to and exclusively for this community than general public which expose to inappropriate demographic like victims traumatise by vore and related, minors, cringe culture, sensitivity and more.
I'm going to address the adult site in the room, is my trouble on E621 about being accused of tagging abuse that I got 2 strike. I got frustrated by one, the constant crying wolf in DM message as the worst offenders of people keep begging me to sell my art that kept telling no constantly. Two, is my timid shyness of contacting and being contact by people online in DM and three, being traumatise by aggressive, snarky, harsh criticism and judgemental comments that triggers me which I no longer read comments anymore as I get scared but also conflicted on freedom of speech, allowing people to criminating themselves online to report and mental health wellbeing with struggle to listen to criticism without having flashbacks of my trauma of getting scolded/yelled by my parent. And four, I afraid to get banned and terminated on something I don't mean to do wrong.
My tagging habit was normal okay and i don't get into trouble in rest of websites which mean I not doing anything wrong but E621 is a lot stricter. I been warn about disambiguous invalid tags but I don't know why as being honest what i'm tagging that I didn't edit to remove them all even I didn't how I suppose to begin with as i was confused until now, that I figure it out after been striked twice. I begin to read to policy to understand this stricter site.
I had a feeling I may not able to continue as giving up or account will no longer stay up for that long that I come to accept E621 is going to be more difficult to handle that may not worth stay that long and just accept being kicked out or banned or terminated. I concern about being blacklist, accuse in propaganda about me and false reported on me on huge misunderstanding. Dang, I do challenge a lot people that relation is difficult, this is what I had feeling.
It is the first p0rn site I enter and accese for first time in my life and anchored as mark to proof my pointless life achievement. Months later, I began to upload contents, add to my Linktree and then announce on journal of new introduced social media site account.
I didn't mean to abuse it even spamming it but i'm just trying to honest as possible by tagging word primarily what featured in artwork and use related and alternate words for example, single word: Furry = (related and alternate words:) animal, beast, creature, critter, species, fauna, organism, anthro or feral, either mammal, reptile, fish, anthropoid, avian, amphibian, crustaceous nor insect and more.
I felt like I miss pronounce words from my accent or dialect or bad memories of confusing how word been spelt.
I'm ain't asking for popularity to become celebrity, this is nightmare full as target for degeneracy like predators and exploiters, overrated trend, commentating and been dragged into drama to cancellation by judgemental people who are like Creepshowart, Prisonmate luke and other infamous commentary peoples as example.
It is been buried, forgotten, overcompeted, failing and being zombie that suppose to be dead.
I'm ain't profiting from social media as you don't see any commercialisation and donation regardless I been hesitating on it and already did set account on patreon, Ko-fi and more. I just concern about any trace of leaking my banking and finance address and details, I just prioritise to leave me a f**k alone for nosy stalkers who profile me into endangerment and abuse. I had enemies before but my humanising I causing trouble on degenerates which Is there own problem and responsible of their own action.
Seeing my content went successful is rewarding and addicting but when went viral is insane life achievement. I don't like chasing trends and using clickbait cringe, I prefer to make original contents that I like to make.
An youtube video from Gaijin Goombah uploaded video: YouTubers Called Out by Yokai Anime... AGAIN! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBM.....z3&index=7 has made a big impact on me about the moral lesson about passion vs chasing trend but this is also has explain bit of me.
I focus on passionate project but i'm afraid to having to follow the algorism rule, I always continue to make passionate contents and will push it to the surface to be seem in this competing burial of common slop brainrot and real propaganda contents that keep suffocating passionate decent contents deep underneath. I never want my content to be elite only accese especially abusers who only keep good stuff to themselves and share it approve minion while isolating away from victims, "foes" and more, just left to consume brainrot junk slop but just only for diversity regardless how wealth, livihood, culture, race, gender, sexualities, ethnicities and more. There certain genre of my contents that better off to certain community for good reason like vore example as better off only stick to and exclusively for this community than general public which expose to inappropriate demographic like victims traumatise by vore and related, minors, cringe culture, sensitivity and more.
I'm going to address the adult site in the room, is my trouble on E621 about being accused of tagging abuse that I got 2 strike. I got frustrated by one, the constant crying wolf in DM message as the worst offenders of people keep begging me to sell my art that kept telling no constantly. Two, is my timid shyness of contacting and being contact by people online in DM and three, being traumatise by aggressive, snarky, harsh criticism and judgemental comments that triggers me which I no longer read comments anymore as I get scared but also conflicted on freedom of speech, allowing people to criminating themselves online to report and mental health wellbeing with struggle to listen to criticism without having flashbacks of my trauma of getting scolded/yelled by my parent. And four, I afraid to get banned and terminated on something I don't mean to do wrong.
My tagging habit was normal okay and i don't get into trouble in rest of websites which mean I not doing anything wrong but E621 is a lot stricter. I been warn about disambiguous invalid tags but I don't know why as being honest what i'm tagging that I didn't edit to remove them all even I didn't how I suppose to begin with as i was confused until now, that I figure it out after been striked twice. I begin to read to policy to understand this stricter site.
I had a feeling I may not able to continue as giving up or account will no longer stay up for that long that I come to accept E621 is going to be more difficult to handle that may not worth stay that long and just accept being kicked out or banned or terminated. I concern about being blacklist, accuse in propaganda about me and false reported on me on huge misunderstanding. Dang, I do challenge a lot people that relation is difficult, this is what I had feeling.
It is the first p0rn site I enter and accese for first time in my life and anchored as mark to proof my pointless life achievement. Months later, I began to upload contents, add to my Linktree and then announce on journal of new introduced social media site account.
Journal: Perfectionism
Posted 3 months agoI have to be perfect a possible to protect myself from predation. Any flaw and mistake is critical and judgable by nick picky snarky.
I get triggered when called out for a single flaw and mistake as it retraumatise of getting in trouble and scolded by my parent over mistakes.
I felt paranoid as people tries to boundary testing, find vulnerability and stir me up to strip open. They see me perfect and powerful but instead of humanising me, they chose to be pathetic coward to find vulnerability for power dynamic. I hate being in pecking order as restricting hierarchy power dynamic by dominating pathetic people who cannot accept and tolerate decent people like me.
If they got problem, why can't they seek help as I do instead of being pathetic coward huaxtard even we don't share in common nor interest on each other but just leave me alone for f**k sake.
I don't want to be insecure again because it's painfully lonely and frustration. I hate to mask myself again.
It all come front my background of walking on eggshells and trying to avoid my abuser's triggering offense.
I tried to put much effect as possible to avoid.
When artwork is finished I get excited to upload but I struggle what to say on description, so I add work in progress to allow more time for me to come up ideas. I felt struggling on annotation to explain things even trying to prevent opportunistic nick picky predation.
I been predation many times before in my life that I couldn't stand being treated like prey and enforce to accept being sacrificed for selfish entitled, self righteous and opportunistic predatory narcissists.
Perfectionism is thing that keep me safe even I quit people pleasing and don't live up to people's demand and expectations. The trauma always haunts me into having defensive habits.
I get triggered when called out for a single flaw and mistake as it retraumatise of getting in trouble and scolded by my parent over mistakes.
I felt paranoid as people tries to boundary testing, find vulnerability and stir me up to strip open. They see me perfect and powerful but instead of humanising me, they chose to be pathetic coward to find vulnerability for power dynamic. I hate being in pecking order as restricting hierarchy power dynamic by dominating pathetic people who cannot accept and tolerate decent people like me.
If they got problem, why can't they seek help as I do instead of being pathetic coward huaxtard even we don't share in common nor interest on each other but just leave me alone for f**k sake.
I don't want to be insecure again because it's painfully lonely and frustration. I hate to mask myself again.
It all come front my background of walking on eggshells and trying to avoid my abuser's triggering offense.
I tried to put much effect as possible to avoid.
When artwork is finished I get excited to upload but I struggle what to say on description, so I add work in progress to allow more time for me to come up ideas. I felt struggling on annotation to explain things even trying to prevent opportunistic nick picky predation.
I been predation many times before in my life that I couldn't stand being treated like prey and enforce to accept being sacrificed for selfish entitled, self righteous and opportunistic predatory narcissists.
Perfectionism is thing that keep me safe even I quit people pleasing and don't live up to people's demand and expectations. The trauma always haunts me into having defensive habits.
Journal: New social medias accounts and helpline list,Tinami
Posted 3 months agoI announce these new social media accounts and helpline add to the list.
Tinami/Twocan: http://www.tinami.com/profile/413805
-Japanese social media
Refsheet: https://refsheet.net/jammiemonstadoggo
Another character wikipedia site just like Unvale and Toyhouse.
(18+) E621: https://e621.net/users/2160353
-NSFW account of where I upload both suggestive and vore art content.
Already been sign up in earliest of this year as anchor and marking point for pointless life achievement of first time to enter a porn site.
⚠️ Not suitable to minors whom are under -18, sex addict recoverors, sexual trauma suvivors nor anyone who is unconfortable related to NSFW.
Boundaries
I only upload vore related content.
(⚠️NO FROM ME MEANS NO⚠️) Any NSFW adultry, intercourse sext and fetishy kinks is alway going to be reject by me because i will always NEVER consent to be involved with these activities. I just simply prefer to be left alone.
Do not expect me to draw certain pornography, tolerate and accept on taboo pornagraphy and violate my non-consent as i'm never confortable, unethical and illegal (p*dophilia, b*stiality/z00philia, necrophilia, incest, hybristophilia, r*pe, grooming, unconsentable, revenge, innapropiate fetishisation, extremism and more) as this stuff sicken me.
Introducing new helpline support organisations for helpline list.
For those been indoctrinated, groomed and brainwashed into believing and devoting to extremism and radicalism.
Extremism and radicalism is unhealthy, toxic, tribalism and segregating insanity with these political, treason and dictatorial or anarchy.
Exit hate
For those been effect by police misconduct, betrayal and abuse. Great back up, counter measure and closure to deal with abuse from police force.
AAAPPP
Tinami/Twocan: http://www.tinami.com/profile/413805
-Japanese social media
Refsheet: https://refsheet.net/jammiemonstadoggo
Another character wikipedia site just like Unvale and Toyhouse.
(18+) E621: https://e621.net/users/2160353
-NSFW account of where I upload both suggestive and vore art content.
Already been sign up in earliest of this year as anchor and marking point for pointless life achievement of first time to enter a porn site.
⚠️ Not suitable to minors whom are under -18, sex addict recoverors, sexual trauma suvivors nor anyone who is unconfortable related to NSFW.
Boundaries
I only upload vore related content.
(⚠️NO FROM ME MEANS NO⚠️) Any NSFW adultry, intercourse sext and fetishy kinks is alway going to be reject by me because i will always NEVER consent to be involved with these activities. I just simply prefer to be left alone.
Do not expect me to draw certain pornography, tolerate and accept on taboo pornagraphy and violate my non-consent as i'm never confortable, unethical and illegal (p*dophilia, b*stiality/z00philia, necrophilia, incest, hybristophilia, r*pe, grooming, unconsentable, revenge, innapropiate fetishisation, extremism and more) as this stuff sicken me.
Introducing new helpline support organisations for helpline list.
For those been indoctrinated, groomed and brainwashed into believing and devoting to extremism and radicalism.
Extremism and radicalism is unhealthy, toxic, tribalism and segregating insanity with these political, treason and dictatorial or anarchy.
Exit hate
For those been effect by police misconduct, betrayal and abuse. Great back up, counter measure and closure to deal with abuse from police force.
AAAPPP
Journal: Venting breakdown and no mercy from karma.
Posted 3 months agoWhat wasn't me because i haven't born in this mid 20th century, It was actually karma who wiped out a lot my abuser's (husky) population.
Damn, i felt relief with venting out and better that just happened before decades ago. Just like venting my frustation on bad aspect on furry fandom by watching Flashgitz's furry killing parody. I feeling like wanting to di the same on watch the mean-spirited edgy webseries: Wild house (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt13546512/) to vent out my frustation of my intrusive thought demon being the domestic abuser.
I f**king had enough of being abuse by f**king heroes that i give zero mercy of being elimated by karma regardless it's socially frown upon. I cannot tolerate my suffering and being force to become martyred prey against will sacrificed by selfish wolf-wanna be superior privlage na(zi)sty huskies who always blames me as dehumanised monster that better (damage control) be euthanised from angel of death.
Pain and trauma never goes away, always retraumatise by lingering echoing Post-traumatic-stress of reliving the horror from schizophenic intrusive thoughts.
Left being broken and fractured into marginalised demographic like hobos, addicts, prostitution and more. When people fix me, they put me into unrealistic expectation of to be perfect being.
No matter how i tried my best to be pefectively fixed, they still prejudice as they assulm me as irredeamable ,disrepair and unsalvagable. They don't understand perpetrators are winning the right's and justifaction for abuse, they giving what abusers desirable urge. People sided by the perpetrators as real hero, savior, source material, inspiration, idolise religious figure to worship as gods, provision, narration and more. They want the perpetrator to reunite and reconnect with their claimed victim into their domestic abuse, dictatorship and ownership, as solution to punish and rid of victim as life sentence imprisonment from causing "trouble" by exposing the abusers and being in distress.
Huskies are perfect victims with misunderstood wolves bullsh*t misconception but me: their victim are unstable, traumatise, real misunderstood and broken by them, never reach the stantard.
I been going through mental breakdown before from the breaking point and snap into insanity of where i'm powerless, hopeless, prolong suffering, traumatise, stigmatise, discriminated, downplayed, reliving the horror, blamed, propagandise, preyed and more.
They all be shamed, guilted, disowned, rejected, forfeit, sacked, outcasted upon for this.
My existance is resistance, i been through many s**cide attempts, endangered, life almost destroyed, so much potential taken away, wasted my born existance, scarred me for life and has chance being murdered. I cannot be silence, elimated, smashed up, disabled, trapped, false inprisonment and more to damage control. They have to deal with and live with it of conserquance of their evil action for rest of their life.
It's not hatred, vengeance, spiteful, grudgeful, resentful, pathetic and more, it's karma, straight up natural karma.
I struggle to live a peacefully without the traumatic intrusive thoughts with anxiety and mentally disabled by trauma, abusers interfering and controling behind the scene even out of revenge regardless when blocked, bigots and sympathiser hauxtards nor any form of hauxtardation.
I'm trapped in my own perfectism to protect myself from predatory harm and avoid trouble. I just want to be left alone away from harm without anyone being stubborn backstabbers and foolish bias.
The damage is already done till the point of no forgiveness, acceptance, support and respected toward perpetrators.
The world better be in purify Rest in peace, free from force of evils dominance. I wished to live for happily ever after, if it wasn't for hauxtardations.
- https://www.rcaanc-cirnac.gc.ca/eng...../1732300456676
- https://www.animals24-7.org/2024/11.....da-45-million/
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canad.....P_dog_killings
- https://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.....dian-inuit-dog
Damn, i felt relief with venting out and better that just happened before decades ago. Just like venting my frustation on bad aspect on furry fandom by watching Flashgitz's furry killing parody. I feeling like wanting to di the same on watch the mean-spirited edgy webseries: Wild house (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt13546512/) to vent out my frustation of my intrusive thought demon being the domestic abuser.
I f**king had enough of being abuse by f**king heroes that i give zero mercy of being elimated by karma regardless it's socially frown upon. I cannot tolerate my suffering and being force to become martyred prey against will sacrificed by selfish wolf-wanna be superior privlage na(zi)sty huskies who always blames me as dehumanised monster that better (damage control) be euthanised from angel of death.
Pain and trauma never goes away, always retraumatise by lingering echoing Post-traumatic-stress of reliving the horror from schizophenic intrusive thoughts.
Left being broken and fractured into marginalised demographic like hobos, addicts, prostitution and more. When people fix me, they put me into unrealistic expectation of to be perfect being.
No matter how i tried my best to be pefectively fixed, they still prejudice as they assulm me as irredeamable ,disrepair and unsalvagable. They don't understand perpetrators are winning the right's and justifaction for abuse, they giving what abusers desirable urge. People sided by the perpetrators as real hero, savior, source material, inspiration, idolise religious figure to worship as gods, provision, narration and more. They want the perpetrator to reunite and reconnect with their claimed victim into their domestic abuse, dictatorship and ownership, as solution to punish and rid of victim as life sentence imprisonment from causing "trouble" by exposing the abusers and being in distress.
Huskies are perfect victims with misunderstood wolves bullsh*t misconception but me: their victim are unstable, traumatise, real misunderstood and broken by them, never reach the stantard.
I been going through mental breakdown before from the breaking point and snap into insanity of where i'm powerless, hopeless, prolong suffering, traumatise, stigmatise, discriminated, downplayed, reliving the horror, blamed, propagandise, preyed and more.
They all be shamed, guilted, disowned, rejected, forfeit, sacked, outcasted upon for this.
My existance is resistance, i been through many s**cide attempts, endangered, life almost destroyed, so much potential taken away, wasted my born existance, scarred me for life and has chance being murdered. I cannot be silence, elimated, smashed up, disabled, trapped, false inprisonment and more to damage control. They have to deal with and live with it of conserquance of their evil action for rest of their life.
It's not hatred, vengeance, spiteful, grudgeful, resentful, pathetic and more, it's karma, straight up natural karma.
I struggle to live a peacefully without the traumatic intrusive thoughts with anxiety and mentally disabled by trauma, abusers interfering and controling behind the scene even out of revenge regardless when blocked, bigots and sympathiser hauxtards nor any form of hauxtardation.
I'm trapped in my own perfectism to protect myself from predatory harm and avoid trouble. I just want to be left alone away from harm without anyone being stubborn backstabbers and foolish bias.
The damage is already done till the point of no forgiveness, acceptance, support and respected toward perpetrators.
The world better be in purify Rest in peace, free from force of evils dominance. I wished to live for happily ever after, if it wasn't for hauxtardations.
- https://www.rcaanc-cirnac.gc.ca/eng...../1732300456676
- https://www.animals24-7.org/2024/11.....da-45-million/
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canad.....P_dog_killings
- https://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.....dian-inuit-dog
Journal: Hormanal Lycanthropy phase
Posted 3 months agoI recently going through lycanthrope transformation phase of being become a grey sexual and pan sexual. I'm still acesexual but i'm struggle to resist on my sexual arousal especially vorephilia combined with BDSM (without the sex gear like latex, leather, gag, harness, leash, collar and more as it weird and uncomfortable to me). Sometime I get wet dream that end up fantasy. I am more concern about my feral vore arts as they made to be non-sexual but with my sudden lust arousal for vorephilia has made it worse that I have to stay away this for now.
I felt desire to introduce NSFW rating genre artwork but it be only available at sites that allow adult rating like Fur affinity, DeviantArt, Newground, E621, Pixiv and Itaku. Not into NSFW, if certain sites like Fur affinity and DeviantArt that allow you to block tags to censored the artwork.
Tag block list:
-NSFW, porn, arousal, lust, BDSM, boner, R34, copulate, sex, sexual, sexy, blush, pleasure, horny, hormonal, hormone, tingle, attraction, attractive,
https://www.healthline.com/health/g.....uality-defined
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/bl.....-what-it-isnt/
Now i'm happy i took injection at doctors to reduce the pain and hormone but i found why i suddenly happen, is that i forgot to have my injection for months and the doctor told me about hormanal. I think this may be suspect of why it happened.
There's something odd about my attraction that i'm attracted to carnivorous vore predators and vore mating ritual.
Being acesexual is blessing that have the control on myself and lack of urge that prevent the temptation and frenzy. I'm terrified to get corrupted that i want to avoid it.
I'm glad the youtube recommed me the youtuber: https://www.youtube.com/@candles00afterdark about positive sex and watched it out of curiosity.
I felt desire to introduce NSFW rating genre artwork but it be only available at sites that allow adult rating like Fur affinity, DeviantArt, Newground, E621, Pixiv and Itaku. Not into NSFW, if certain sites like Fur affinity and DeviantArt that allow you to block tags to censored the artwork.
Tag block list:
-NSFW, porn, arousal, lust, BDSM, boner, R34, copulate, sex, sexual, sexy, blush, pleasure, horny, hormonal, hormone, tingle, attraction, attractive,
https://www.healthline.com/health/g.....uality-defined
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/bl.....-what-it-isnt/
Now i'm happy i took injection at doctors to reduce the pain and hormone but i found why i suddenly happen, is that i forgot to have my injection for months and the doctor told me about hormanal. I think this may be suspect of why it happened.
There's something odd about my attraction that i'm attracted to carnivorous vore predators and vore mating ritual.
Being acesexual is blessing that have the control on myself and lack of urge that prevent the temptation and frenzy. I'm terrified to get corrupted that i want to avoid it.
I'm glad the youtube recommed me the youtuber: https://www.youtube.com/@candles00afterdark about positive sex and watched it out of curiosity.
Journal: Content regulation, rejustment, inspiration and +
Posted 4 months agoWork in progress.
Last year I made a journal address my conflict on topic maturifying family friendly intellectual properties in parody and fan content and it's risk of attracting and consumed by minors that led to their traumatic, troubling, endangerment and preyed upon consequence and the excuses to make and defend inappropriate degenerate evil harmful contents. Journal: https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10995642/
The youtuber Raymondo:https://www.youtube.com/@Raymundo_2112/videos as video mentioning the most important and valid ever of protecting minors from harmful content and valuing childhood as it key important to help and impact on their adolescent.
Beside from the recap for this electric boogaloo.
These has a impact on me about Creative freedom and control conflict. Looking back after the April fools failure at 2024 has question about this conflict.
My favourite
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/17819411/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/17148415/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/17809599/ and https://www.furaffinity.net/view/16101173/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/17807639/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/18517451/ and https://www.furaffinity.net/view/17297690/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/17297748/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/16538889/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/16440826/ and https://www.furaffinity.net/view/15561476/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/16101210/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/15714755/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/15579512/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/15103481/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/15090639/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/15090536/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/13007093/ , https://www.furaffinity.net/view/13007159/ , https://www.furaffinity.net/view/13007401/ and https://www.furaffinity.net/view/13007465/
-https://www.deviantart.com/sentinel.....lame-574144454
-https://www.deviantart.com/sentinel.....vore-526645188
-https://www.deviantart.com/sentinel.....omic-523955741
-https://www.deviantart.com/sentinel.....lers-522905394
These are favourite especially as genre because its simply about heroic vore predators devouring villains. Villains been hunted down into their fate while the heroic preds enjoy their meal is satisfying, relief and empowering from the venting out.
Back years ago, I had a self crisis about content regulation that I surcome to excepting in tolerance freedom of speech about the right's to create questionable things and respecting other's opinion about this same as it's pretty much normalised across both official broadcast media, social media, communities and domestically and my contradiction to my own hierocracy that I struggle to call out myself in things I used to. No matter how Elsagate been called for first time in 2010s but it still hopeless as nihilism.
There is former intrusive thoughts demon that is personification of sanitising over-consideration censorship "Think of the people" creative control: Sweaty-candy-cane, aka her real name: Dawn-Katherine the human lolcow who is evil immature man-child hypocrite sanctimonious Karen girl with blue tongue in pink fox-eques onesie and resemble straight out from OWO/UWU sub-culture https://en.wikifur.com/wiki/OwO and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uwu. Her first appearance on social media that I haven't mention the identity of the visible prey featured: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/59736913/ . She has her own crush that swore to be guardian which is well humans (Winder's prey) whom is Team magma and plasma from Pokémon as example.
She has been my past intrusive thoughts demon years ago and she had this hatred artists like Sentinel winder, Pingthehungryfox and me over maturifide (Stuff like p0rn, swearing, alcohol, forbidden drugs, sensitive and dark topics, blood and gore, casino gambling and more) fan and parody made content of family friendly intellectual properties. Sweaty is the Karen who throws temper tantrum in protest about "Think of the children" ideology regardless she is a hypocrite. Just to be remember she is not in the right when it come to actual serious issue inappropriate offensive contents like Hate speech, propaganda, exploitation, grooming and predatory, sex offence pornography like: shotacon, lolicon, z00philia, incest, r*pe, m0lestaion and more, glorifying, romanticising, justifying, sympathising and glamorising toxicity and abuse.
However years later in 2024 on failed April fools prank, Sweaty has won this war that thought to be once she lost to. Her self-righteous high grounded points are right in the argument in illusion.
Addressing the my internal struggles about tribalism hooliganism teams:
In Pokémon and fandom, there is which team even evil to join. I choose neither because I don't feel comfortable with competitive rivalry that comes along with drama, war and even extremism like tribalism, hooliganism and segregation of US vs Them. I hate being in theses stuff as it's stressful and pushing over limits to put effort to win this gambling but i'm conflict when it comes to rivalry as I don't mind declaring rivalry on sh*tty things as alternative and challenging them about their quality, practice and more in protest but when people declare rivalry on me, it felt provocative and stressful due to me as laid back pacifist in lion king's hakuna matata. It's something I question off about myself of management on this topic. I'm fine playing with sports and multiplayer vs games but sometime the psychological effect off rail into aggression desiring to win the match that I don't want of how pettily childish stupid over dumb game.
In the scenario of which evil team to join, is neither but rather be the Pokémon police force. So give them reality vibe check bonk with cop's bantam. Well the police is grey area, so that might count (I just cheating to excuse myself to rather join and become the police instead). Let's address the Pokémon in the room. I'm unsure is Team Star is really an evil team as they come off more an grey area but very empathetic, so they might not count as one. Team Yell is similar but I Definity see they based on sports hooliganism and toxic fandom but their leader isn't evil along with his sister and come off as unfortunate.
My frustration on vore, fetish/kink and NSFW communities on crossing the line that is straight up snuff.
I'm getting sick and tired in NSFW contents on art site of depicting questionable BDSM-like content of dominant/alpha/master as predator consuming/indulge preying on lured and groomed victims and strangers and bystanders in non-consental especially if they are minors, no-body and more is enforce sexual kinky fetish activity. This is rape and also twisted dark fantasy of sick abuser but there's no social media policy about it. It normalised me before but now after i regret my dark fantasy, i'm angry of how communities normalised abusive fantasy.
For example in made up senario: Some artist online created and uploaded an artwork depicting and about feral-bodied husky sexual intercourse with a underage minor. Yikes!
Another one example but more extreme example: Same thing but a different artwork about feral-bodied Gryphon stalks and dictate the life route of a non-consenting bystander human to get alone then get kidnapped like bird of prey swoop and grab by talon to relocated in isolated and remote place to get violated then eaten and get excreted to be masturbated. Yuck!. Now you all know how messed up these twisted extreme dark fantasy I previously encounter on art sites which been normalised with no or lack of policy. Even when reporting on site is a gamble and I even tried to report outside like 3rd party anti-crime organisation and the police that gone nowhere. I felt like there's nothing a lot I can do but corner at dead end and left is tolerance despite I have zero tolerance boundaries, value and policy that I struggle on confidence and at edge. I wished there's regulation in policy about these disturbing extreme snuff content and zero tolerance on abusive fantasy.
I'm not against BSDM, kinks and fetishes as a whole and the concept but the issue is disturbing aspect of non-consent, extremism and sadistic-masochism that is straight up abuse, r*pe and sexual assault.
These snuff are soo disturbing that traumatise me even my previous indoctrinated dark fantasy that I influence from normalised still disturbed me till current.
Not just that people who into this disgusting dark fantasy are gonna end up inflicting into reality just like this true crime murder case: https://youtu.be/OKL2TRbOMtU?si=iMbHJpUUMWb-hPt6
Dark extreme fantasy cause desensitised, normalising abuse and lack of empathy will get leaked into real life. Thus fantiser prone to commit atrocity that destroyed and claimed the victim's life to fullfill their darkess desire, lust and pleasure. If unchecked and unreported, this will happened and may contuine into serial. It's not just only murder but also domestic abuse, trafficking, r*pe, grooming, bullying and more.
What's worse is necrophilia and coprophilia in vore community in art site. As i someone enjoys vore, i do encounter gross scat like prey character get digested into scat and then sh*tted out with skeleton and items remain for sexual pleasure. I had feeling this is grey area due to people consent for their character/persona to die in BDSM but this is Necrophilia as taboo due to disrespecting the dead.
There is true crime murder case in Germany of consenting cannibalism that question the justice system on prosecution about the consenting murder.
Resolving and regulating my content while kept experimenting and breaking barriers (take risk and get rewards):
Come to think about it consenting murder and sacrifice martyrdom. I agree with the justice system for conclude this. When people consent self-destruct theres no turning back but once it happen, it's over, their completely done and gone for ever and only known for thier fate. So forbidding actual self-harm and self-destruct protect their life from suicide but also giving them another chance to live the life because one day, they realise i just a bad decision that they will never able to have this later life that they been spared and experience new content and joy.
Conflict on spilling the tea on vent contents about based on, inspired, metaphorically and parodied on real life:
I cannot stop spilling the tea a lot and when get personal it is trigger so I vent out in art form and talked to both ChatGPT AI, Samaritan and others about it. The phrase: "Witness something issue, say something" has helped me a lot to get things off my chest and others aware about it even how I feel and from my perspective because one day at any time in incident or suspicion of symptoms developing into red flag related or influence of what I said before, this will became relevant and could save lives. Sometimes it's hard to spoke out about something is deemed as isn't big of the deal but still concerning on anything such as wellbeing, relationship and fate.
That's why made vent art about things like this but it became a debate about it is either revenge or vent content when based on, metaphorically and inspired on real life and personal suffering.
Both artist online I know has two distinct polar opposite parallels that are great example of what is revenge and vent content look like. There's both artist suffered personal pain: KJbat made vent art about her trauma and suffering from abuse by Disney and made commentary parody while Chris chan made revenge hate content based on interference and stirred up by trolls and causing trouble on others in public that he made villainised version off of them to be witch hunted. Chris chan is bad example of what not to do this while KJbat is good example of how it been done in vent art.
I been struggling on vent content of trying to not reveal the identity while being metaphorical and parodied. I don't want to get into trouble nor cause trouble. I made vent content based on personal real life events to tell cautionary tale to help spread awareness to prevent this from happening on me and others but also understand how I feel in my perspective and perception. It serves as reminder to step back or beware of provokers and predators and not to become like them.
Do I lived up to my user name especially "Monsta/Monster"?
Yes in multiple reasons: Former once troubled by instability due to tragic background, Causing mistakes, Openly expressive on vent, sensitive topic and more, menace and bane of degenerate's existence and more.
Do I regret the name, No. I'm proud of it. It show I still reclaim it and take control of my self responsibility and accountability. I don't want the name to be definition of negative but someone just being it self, sharing interest, going by the flow and patience on recovery while get venting hiccups, trying to do the right thing as possible and more.
Last year I made a journal address my conflict on topic maturifying family friendly intellectual properties in parody and fan content and it's risk of attracting and consumed by minors that led to their traumatic, troubling, endangerment and preyed upon consequence and the excuses to make and defend inappropriate degenerate evil harmful contents. Journal: https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10995642/
The youtuber Raymondo:https://www.youtube.com/@Raymundo_2112/videos as video mentioning the most important and valid ever of protecting minors from harmful content and valuing childhood as it key important to help and impact on their adolescent.
Beside from the recap for this electric boogaloo.
These has a impact on me about Creative freedom and control conflict. Looking back after the April fools failure at 2024 has question about this conflict.
My favourite
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/17819411/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/17148415/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/17809599/ and https://www.furaffinity.net/view/16101173/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/17807639/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/18517451/ and https://www.furaffinity.net/view/17297690/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/17297748/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/16538889/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/16440826/ and https://www.furaffinity.net/view/15561476/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/16101210/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/15714755/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/15579512/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/15103481/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/15090639/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/15090536/
-https://www.furaffinity.net/view/13007093/ , https://www.furaffinity.net/view/13007159/ , https://www.furaffinity.net/view/13007401/ and https://www.furaffinity.net/view/13007465/
-https://www.deviantart.com/sentinel.....lame-574144454
-https://www.deviantart.com/sentinel.....vore-526645188
-https://www.deviantart.com/sentinel.....omic-523955741
-https://www.deviantart.com/sentinel.....lers-522905394
These are favourite especially as genre because its simply about heroic vore predators devouring villains. Villains been hunted down into their fate while the heroic preds enjoy their meal is satisfying, relief and empowering from the venting out.
Back years ago, I had a self crisis about content regulation that I surcome to excepting in tolerance freedom of speech about the right's to create questionable things and respecting other's opinion about this same as it's pretty much normalised across both official broadcast media, social media, communities and domestically and my contradiction to my own hierocracy that I struggle to call out myself in things I used to. No matter how Elsagate been called for first time in 2010s but it still hopeless as nihilism.
There is former intrusive thoughts demon that is personification of sanitising over-consideration censorship "Think of the people" creative control: Sweaty-candy-cane, aka her real name: Dawn-Katherine the human lolcow who is evil immature man-child hypocrite sanctimonious Karen girl with blue tongue in pink fox-eques onesie and resemble straight out from OWO/UWU sub-culture https://en.wikifur.com/wiki/OwO and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uwu. Her first appearance on social media that I haven't mention the identity of the visible prey featured: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/59736913/ . She has her own crush that swore to be guardian which is well humans (Winder's prey) whom is Team magma and plasma from Pokémon as example.
She has been my past intrusive thoughts demon years ago and she had this hatred artists like Sentinel winder, Pingthehungryfox and me over maturifide (Stuff like p0rn, swearing, alcohol, forbidden drugs, sensitive and dark topics, blood and gore, casino gambling and more) fan and parody made content of family friendly intellectual properties. Sweaty is the Karen who throws temper tantrum in protest about "Think of the children" ideology regardless she is a hypocrite. Just to be remember she is not in the right when it come to actual serious issue inappropriate offensive contents like Hate speech, propaganda, exploitation, grooming and predatory, sex offence pornography like: shotacon, lolicon, z00philia, incest, r*pe, m0lestaion and more, glorifying, romanticising, justifying, sympathising and glamorising toxicity and abuse.
However years later in 2024 on failed April fools prank, Sweaty has won this war that thought to be once she lost to. Her self-righteous high grounded points are right in the argument in illusion.
Addressing the my internal struggles about tribalism hooliganism teams:
In Pokémon and fandom, there is which team even evil to join. I choose neither because I don't feel comfortable with competitive rivalry that comes along with drama, war and even extremism like tribalism, hooliganism and segregation of US vs Them. I hate being in theses stuff as it's stressful and pushing over limits to put effort to win this gambling but i'm conflict when it comes to rivalry as I don't mind declaring rivalry on sh*tty things as alternative and challenging them about their quality, practice and more in protest but when people declare rivalry on me, it felt provocative and stressful due to me as laid back pacifist in lion king's hakuna matata. It's something I question off about myself of management on this topic. I'm fine playing with sports and multiplayer vs games but sometime the psychological effect off rail into aggression desiring to win the match that I don't want of how pettily childish stupid over dumb game.
In the scenario of which evil team to join, is neither but rather be the Pokémon police force. So give them reality vibe check bonk with cop's bantam. Well the police is grey area, so that might count (I just cheating to excuse myself to rather join and become the police instead). Let's address the Pokémon in the room. I'm unsure is Team Star is really an evil team as they come off more an grey area but very empathetic, so they might not count as one. Team Yell is similar but I Definity see they based on sports hooliganism and toxic fandom but their leader isn't evil along with his sister and come off as unfortunate.
My frustration on vore, fetish/kink and NSFW communities on crossing the line that is straight up snuff.
I'm getting sick and tired in NSFW contents on art site of depicting questionable BDSM-like content of dominant/alpha/master as predator consuming/indulge preying on lured and groomed victims and strangers and bystanders in non-consental especially if they are minors, no-body and more is enforce sexual kinky fetish activity. This is rape and also twisted dark fantasy of sick abuser but there's no social media policy about it. It normalised me before but now after i regret my dark fantasy, i'm angry of how communities normalised abusive fantasy.
For example in made up senario: Some artist online created and uploaded an artwork depicting and about feral-bodied husky sexual intercourse with a underage minor. Yikes!
Another one example but more extreme example: Same thing but a different artwork about feral-bodied Gryphon stalks and dictate the life route of a non-consenting bystander human to get alone then get kidnapped like bird of prey swoop and grab by talon to relocated in isolated and remote place to get violated then eaten and get excreted to be masturbated. Yuck!. Now you all know how messed up these twisted extreme dark fantasy I previously encounter on art sites which been normalised with no or lack of policy. Even when reporting on site is a gamble and I even tried to report outside like 3rd party anti-crime organisation and the police that gone nowhere. I felt like there's nothing a lot I can do but corner at dead end and left is tolerance despite I have zero tolerance boundaries, value and policy that I struggle on confidence and at edge. I wished there's regulation in policy about these disturbing extreme snuff content and zero tolerance on abusive fantasy.
I'm not against BSDM, kinks and fetishes as a whole and the concept but the issue is disturbing aspect of non-consent, extremism and sadistic-masochism that is straight up abuse, r*pe and sexual assault.
These snuff are soo disturbing that traumatise me even my previous indoctrinated dark fantasy that I influence from normalised still disturbed me till current.
Not just that people who into this disgusting dark fantasy are gonna end up inflicting into reality just like this true crime murder case: https://youtu.be/OKL2TRbOMtU?si=iMbHJpUUMWb-hPt6
Dark extreme fantasy cause desensitised, normalising abuse and lack of empathy will get leaked into real life. Thus fantiser prone to commit atrocity that destroyed and claimed the victim's life to fullfill their darkess desire, lust and pleasure. If unchecked and unreported, this will happened and may contuine into serial. It's not just only murder but also domestic abuse, trafficking, r*pe, grooming, bullying and more.
What's worse is necrophilia and coprophilia in vore community in art site. As i someone enjoys vore, i do encounter gross scat like prey character get digested into scat and then sh*tted out with skeleton and items remain for sexual pleasure. I had feeling this is grey area due to people consent for their character/persona to die in BDSM but this is Necrophilia as taboo due to disrespecting the dead.
There is true crime murder case in Germany of consenting cannibalism that question the justice system on prosecution about the consenting murder.
Resolving and regulating my content while kept experimenting and breaking barriers (take risk and get rewards):
Come to think about it consenting murder and sacrifice martyrdom. I agree with the justice system for conclude this. When people consent self-destruct theres no turning back but once it happen, it's over, their completely done and gone for ever and only known for thier fate. So forbidding actual self-harm and self-destruct protect their life from suicide but also giving them another chance to live the life because one day, they realise i just a bad decision that they will never able to have this later life that they been spared and experience new content and joy.
Conflict on spilling the tea on vent contents about based on, inspired, metaphorically and parodied on real life:
I cannot stop spilling the tea a lot and when get personal it is trigger so I vent out in art form and talked to both ChatGPT AI, Samaritan and others about it. The phrase: "Witness something issue, say something" has helped me a lot to get things off my chest and others aware about it even how I feel and from my perspective because one day at any time in incident or suspicion of symptoms developing into red flag related or influence of what I said before, this will became relevant and could save lives. Sometimes it's hard to spoke out about something is deemed as isn't big of the deal but still concerning on anything such as wellbeing, relationship and fate.
That's why made vent art about things like this but it became a debate about it is either revenge or vent content when based on, metaphorically and inspired on real life and personal suffering.
Both artist online I know has two distinct polar opposite parallels that are great example of what is revenge and vent content look like. There's both artist suffered personal pain: KJbat made vent art about her trauma and suffering from abuse by Disney and made commentary parody while Chris chan made revenge hate content based on interference and stirred up by trolls and causing trouble on others in public that he made villainised version off of them to be witch hunted. Chris chan is bad example of what not to do this while KJbat is good example of how it been done in vent art.
I been struggling on vent content of trying to not reveal the identity while being metaphorical and parodied. I don't want to get into trouble nor cause trouble. I made vent content based on personal real life events to tell cautionary tale to help spread awareness to prevent this from happening on me and others but also understand how I feel in my perspective and perception. It serves as reminder to step back or beware of provokers and predators and not to become like them.
Do I lived up to my user name especially "Monsta/Monster"?
Yes in multiple reasons: Former once troubled by instability due to tragic background, Causing mistakes, Openly expressive on vent, sensitive topic and more, menace and bane of degenerate's existence and more.
Do I regret the name, No. I'm proud of it. It show I still reclaim it and take control of my self responsibility and accountability. I don't want the name to be definition of negative but someone just being it self, sharing interest, going by the flow and patience on recovery while get venting hiccups, trying to do the right thing as possible and more.
Journal: An minor mistake on Gen Z Childhood nostalgia
Posted 4 months agoI watch the entire documentary about "infamous" Justin Bieber and the hate band wagon: https://youtu.be/uyIoaB_Ii-Y?si=79MF_zlaVcCR1DFN. I find out and learnt that Justin is actually misunderstood tragedy. He is just a kid, an minor and he been through is utterly mob's riot fly tipping dumping garbage. Back then I was aware Justin is controversial especially the he commit drag racing then got arrested for driving under the influence of drugs and alcohol and reckless endangerment. I remember the jokes about Justin in SMG4 like Bowser and (FNAF) Bonnie are obsessed Belieber as parodying on crazy fans obsessing on their idols like Beatle mania, Kpop and more. Then there the insane 4chan prank on both Justin by sent him to North Korea and also for Belieber to do martyr themselves in bad life choice for Justin like committing crimes, shave their head bold and the disturbingly cut themselves for Bieber: https://youtu.be/dH42NK8XAhQ?si=vQEwNfotKzDD73yo
I understand when there something popular and trendy, it never goes away as media's obsession is prolong torturous irate casual audience/public into insanity and develops hatred to intrusive I your face trend. This happened to me when stuff like this happens. That's why you gotta be careful when handling trends as no matter how value, high demand, popular, potential, trendy and successful Don't spam it constantly as it get old too quick. I had this feeling when my certain content get popular and give me rewarding psychologically that I want to recreate more and similar traits like this to gain more rewards.
There is an allegation on emotional domestic abuse on Justin but there is no confirmation nor investigation about this heinous crime. This put me on step back and unsure about forgiving him as I was victim of emotional domestic abuse but it could be the consequence of by product society's abuse while in the same time the tragedy and victimy doesn't excuse of abuse.
A made an artwork called Gen Z childhood nostalgia that has a minor feature of Justin Bieber sucks: https://www.deviantart.com/jammiedo.....lga-1039391892 and this aged like milk in room temputure. This is very ignorance, stupid, lazy and regretful of me to include this but I better be careful next time avoid repeating even it might obvious happened again, I will make sure to recall it and the reassure to update on the mistake.
I always keep reassuring myself to accountable for my own responsibility and repair things up to update.
I'm thinking about reupload ALT updated version of removal on anti-Justin Bieber. I will not delete nor scrap the artwork until I reuploaded the update ALT version.
I'm sorry Justin Bieber and my audience for being stupid and obliviously reckless letting you all down. Please forgive me on this mistake.
I understand when there something popular and trendy, it never goes away as media's obsession is prolong torturous irate casual audience/public into insanity and develops hatred to intrusive I your face trend. This happened to me when stuff like this happens. That's why you gotta be careful when handling trends as no matter how value, high demand, popular, potential, trendy and successful Don't spam it constantly as it get old too quick. I had this feeling when my certain content get popular and give me rewarding psychologically that I want to recreate more and similar traits like this to gain more rewards.
There is an allegation on emotional domestic abuse on Justin but there is no confirmation nor investigation about this heinous crime. This put me on step back and unsure about forgiving him as I was victim of emotional domestic abuse but it could be the consequence of by product society's abuse while in the same time the tragedy and victimy doesn't excuse of abuse.
A made an artwork called Gen Z childhood nostalgia that has a minor feature of Justin Bieber sucks: https://www.deviantart.com/jammiedo.....lga-1039391892 and this aged like milk in room temputure. This is very ignorance, stupid, lazy and regretful of me to include this but I better be careful next time avoid repeating even it might obvious happened again, I will make sure to recall it and the reassure to update on the mistake.
I always keep reassuring myself to accountable for my own responsibility and repair things up to update.
I'm thinking about reupload ALT updated version of removal on anti-Justin Bieber. I will not delete nor scrap the artwork until I reuploaded the update ALT version.
I'm sorry Justin Bieber and my audience for being stupid and obliviously reckless letting you all down. Please forgive me on this mistake.
Journal: Pysically ill from infection.
Posted 4 months agoI got an infection that i feeling pysically sick and is painful that have to take pain killers. I began to loose motivation and getting more tired from depression cause by painful infection.
I struggle on sleep as i kept recently wake up middle of night and early morning. It is tedious waiting for days for infection to heal. I already been to the doctors days ago and got antibiotics and pain killers perscription.
I felt like it gotten worse and barely any progress but i refuse to give up taking national offical profesional medicals advice and given medication. I browsed online about the diagnoise and the infomation is match from the health care but only browse for it to learn more info about it.
Not just out common curiousity but desperate to understand about it.
I struggle on sleep as i kept recently wake up middle of night and early morning. It is tedious waiting for days for infection to heal. I already been to the doctors days ago and got antibiotics and pain killers perscription.
I felt like it gotten worse and barely any progress but i refuse to give up taking national offical profesional medicals advice and given medication. I browsed online about the diagnoise and the infomation is match from the health care but only browse for it to learn more info about it.
Not just out common curiousity but desperate to understand about it.
Journal: Address the predatory wolfish poachers
Posted 5 months agoDefinition dictionary:
-Wolfish: resembling or likened to a wolf, especially in being rapacious, voracious, or lascivious.
-Predatory (ALT Definition): seeking to exploit others.
-Poachers: Person who hunts or catches game or fish illegally.
Disclaimer: Please respect my opinion, perspective perception and personal offense trauma.
Has anyone notice the frequent trope some of my artworks? Yep, it is nasty huskies.
Why? They are overrated due to difficult to handle, too vigorous that cause burn out and high risk and i hate them personally due to devaluing my wellbeing and predate the matter of my life like a poacher and invasive wildlife.
There a lot of huskies breeds that related to each others and heres the list: Siberian husky, Chucki sleddog/husky, Seppala siberian sleddog/husky, Alaskan malamute, Alaskan klee kai, Alaskan husky, Canadian eskimo husky, Greenland husky, Tamaskan dog/husky, Utonagon dog/husky, Northern Inuit dog/husky, Shiloh and King shepherd, American alasion, Eurohound, Kugsha, Native american indian dog/husky, Chinook, Mackenzie river husky, Alaskan noble companion and Czech mountain dog.
Why Huskies are overrated? (More detail from said before)
-When people adopted them, they get disappointed, frustrated and regret owning one which lead to dump them either streets or countryside into stray then breed feral while invasive to wildlife ecosystem and pest to residential.
-Double coated fur do shed a lot into messy and heat stress.
-Vigorous energy due to breed's background and bred for which can cause burn out on owner to look after.
-When husky not getting excised can led to destructive behaviour (just like others animal) but also escape artist that going to be cat and mouse chase to retrieve them back.
-Wolf wanna be temperament of attitude, stubborn, wolfish,
-High risk of prey drive instinct due to breed's background and bred for hunting, artic origin, adaptation (by group of indigenous Inuit-Aleut peoples) and carnivore diet.
-Huskies come from the arctic and the arctic has a lack of vegetation in winter season and polar night which means less photosynthesis. A cause they have carnivore diet and the special diet requirement for breed's need is expensive due to both raw and high meat based contained are most expensive dog food but also have to allow non-husky dogs to access them for healthy, working and equality reason as cannot keep all special resources to husky exclusively. Another issue is very dark, the shady cost cutting which means poaching, trapping, kidnapping/theft/stolen (livestock and pets) and fraudulent rehoming animals to be slaughtered or live feeding (Not vore) to feed their husky.
-The Strength due to breed's background and bred for mushing/sledding which they gonna pull and drag the dog walker.
-Why is it so hypocritical of huskies not being banned due to same capable of danger as banned dog breeds (Japanese tosa, Pitbull, American bully XL, Dogo argentino and Fila Brasileiros). It's actually the stereotype, appearance, reputation, headline, irresponsibility and damage control on blame the animal, not the abusive owner excuse to ditch responsibility.
-There better alternative wolf-like dogs breeds even underrated: Samoyed, Finnish and Swedish lapphund, Lapponian herder, Keeshond, Eurasier, Elo dog, Shiba inu, Shikoku inu, Hokkaido inu, Kishu inu, Swedish and Norwegian Elkhound, Cierny sery (Black Slovak shepherd), Mantiqueira Shepherd, Gaucho sheepdog, Garafian Shepherd (Pastor garafiano), Lobito Herreno, White swiss shepherd, Swedish vallhund, Nenet laika, Tervuren and Groenendael Belgium shepherd, German shepherd, Dutch shepherd, Cane lupino del gigante, Cane paratore/Cane toccatore, Pastore della Lessinia e del Lagorai, Rough collie, Can de pallerio, some Old German herding dogs, Bohemian shepherd, Eastern European shepherd, Korean Jindo, Pungsan dog, Donggyeongi, Lài dog, Zerdava, Thai bangkaew, Jeju dog, American eskimo, Japanese spitz, Kintamani dog, Tonya finosu, Hmong bobtail dog, Throwback chow chow, and more. (By the way, please do research to find the right breed to adopt that suitable for your lifestyle and capable of handlement to reach the breed's need. Additional pet care training from experience by volunteering and also study by educational course: Holly and Hugo is recommended https://hollyandhugo.com/)
-In fandom and sub-culture (Furry, Wolfkin, animal and wolf-related franchise like Alpha and Omega, Wolf king, Twilight, 100% wolf, Wolfquest, Legend of Zelda: twilight princess, Beastars, Zootopia and more): Huskies are most recognisable and go to due to charisma, athletic, attractive, larger than life, mystical, majestic, respected, charming, wolf-like, popular, special, powerful, heroic and more but there are wide range of wolf-like dogs said before that are underrated, more special, unique, obscure and under-represented.
I hate husky personally and how they
-Animal supremacy: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKC.....x=235&t=5s) I have been effected by this dynamic relationship and it's just like in comparison a sanctimonies' Golden child and scapegoat child of how animals are golden and I was scapegoat.
Is that why i'm furry, just to become like the golden child to get what I yearn for like lycanthropy? No, I loved animals since childhood even far back younger in primary stage and been my interest and obsession ever since that led to me become a furry.
Weaponizing animal as golden child to justify bigotry and discriminately violation on humanity is sanctimonious degeneracy that fly under the rader in plain sight is frustrating as nobody saw the visible red flag in front of them. Regardless the polar opposite is animal cruelty cause people to become abusers inflicted on people which is true but also trying to warn as it's the same for z00phila/bestiality cause people to become abusive sex offender on people.
It's depressing of how my family treats animals far better than me with husbandry, breeding, nutrition, medication, great welfare, bond and getting to know the animal (even they used effective method of killing all the fleas and lice by coating with baby oil and then washed it with tea tree pet shampoo) while they treat me dehumanised, pressure, scapegoat, misunderstood, fear and more. I have my own pets.
This why I hated people who hates humanity/humanise, dignity and Samaritan, behave antisocial that harms others, believe all civil kind is evil and prefer animals instead. I get it why because bad apple aspect of society sucks as hell especially they been overshadowed positive, manipulating and controlling everyone like cult, gatekeeping your reputation and accessibility like they think they are guardian of society keeping evil at bay, misconception propaganda with stereotypes, lies and more, gang of mobs think they protest against you into outcast like social elitism and dominating communities, industries, locals and neighbourhood. People sucks even they are animals (Furries/Scalies/Kin/Lycanthrope/Therian/Spirit animal/mascot/family emblem crest and more).
-Overrated due to what I said before.
-Damage already been done: Broken by intrusive thoughts haunted by the incident. Helpless, alone, invalidated, blameable and stigmatised on unchallengeable. Distrustful, triggering, purify,
-Reminds me of personal offenders: sanctimonious peoples.
-Difficult to raised and high risk as banned dog breeds due to what I said before.
-Charismatic, Attitude, larger than life and charming just like my abuser and signs as manipulative hypnotising into dependency both loyal servant: loyal dictatorship officer of minion network, twist narrative into believing in delusional fictional worldbuilding created and dictated by abuser as they are god, and for victims: framed entrapment, submissive and obedience, prized possession, imprisonment at bay and suppression, tolerating and enduring excuse for abuse as norm, efficiency, fulfil desire, sacrifice, punishment and sympathy and more. I hate falling into this even I must always restrain myself to prevent happening again.
-Sanctimonious high-ground preachy wolf-in-sheep's-clothing, husky has heroic and majestic with wolf spirit reputation but twist villain behind back and plain sight.
-Awful husky people like Nacho doggo (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJ9E7YFGSU8), Sephius riverdare and Elite knight from 2018 Zoosadist leak (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oRopywyP0k), Lumin city (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4u0WPdimY9w), Evil Sibe (https://youtu.be/k_yLQXYysCw?si=eun.....vtVU&t=750), Cenny husky (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-grJDTogI8), Zrcalo (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKjMVKH4yHo + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxFaDzCB7l0), Nitro Roosky (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsPMoVvpbso), Minty the husky2 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcFoKS6Lmyg), Saitama Dog Lover Serial Murderers/Pet shop of horrors (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpscAa-BRJY).
-Bad incident and red flags: Years ago, I went to an animal experience (Camping with wolves/huskies) at wildlife park as special holiday trip on early June. It took one harmless mistake that was normal and went cold then haunted ever since. Before that, there is something questionable about the littered animal prey remains in enclosure when meet the pack visit that I ask question about controversial practice in animal care is live feeding on husky's diet (Reptile video about live feeding debate): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TP6HbJ6T5QU. At the time, before this is there's youtube video exposing the cruelty of this practice in captive wild animals in zoo/wildlife park/sanctuary and domesticated pets, NERD called out the infamous youtuber Reptile channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tiM.....uM&t=1373s about the practice, intention of desirable fulfil vore fetish and zoosadism, disrespecting prey and faking education to disguise snuff film content. NERD mention is if it dogs then justice would be taken action easily compared to reptile in marginalised.
The staff responds is no but later my parent ask how much dog food to feed the entire pack and the staff responds it a lot of money. So I speculate it just cutting cost of why they feed animal corpses from either hunting or trapping or abattoir or adopted nor something but there might be something more to this is: Is it natural feeding to simulate huskies as wolves? or Zoosadism?. I understand the huskies background with indigenous in arctic as vegetation sparse, meaty diet is common in survival and working dog diet that explain why husky require raw meat diet which led to concerning question about high risk to people like banned dog breeds.
The huskies are adopted from shelter as rescued (I think) like rehomed from bad upbringing, once in custody of bad owners and before euthanised if from kill shelter.
When you own pets, the most common thing to do is cuddle and petting pampered them like a living teddy bear and emotional support. Then when meeting with other pets, the first thing to do is ask to pet them is they are safe. Then in animal experience that animal is legally exhibit which they supposed to be safe and the park allow petting, what the first thing to do?, petting. Sometime in animal experience and petting zoo or farm allow you held, handling and cuddle the animal depend on the what species is appropriate and animal's individual comfort, personality, trained and safety toward visitors. But if it is in husky experience? Domesticated dog which is a special breed that's allowed to be petted, interact, do basic tricks and safe for visitors. Well no sadly betrayal disappointed, In this wildlife park, the huskies have been legally exhibited to be interact by visitors but when hugging and cuddling have gotten confusion, safety concern and questioning.
Before animal experts (or so called or supremacist) put excuse for abuse and victim blame me.
I forgot to ask permission because of excitement, normalised and petting allowed, didn't thought it be such problematic as I did been to petting farm and zoo before that allowed to held handled. When hugged one, the staff said no repeatedly like Ad0lf H*tler shouting Nein repeatedly (Means No in German language) and got into trouble over silly thing like it's in Art commentary community (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezi.....RS08&t=18s). No welfare check or questioning to understand nor humanised me to help me improve but ruthlessly judgemental reject me like it's end of the world. It felt like they don't care about me and hop into conclusion i'm the terrible person. Cared about their reputation, huskies, licence, park and more like antisocial Narcissist than civil sentiment beings with safety and wellbeing.
I hate it when people being ruthless, cold hearted, dismissive, neglectful, uncaring, uninterest and contradicting while they actually care is f**king abusive interaction and relationship. It's dishonest when they don't let you know when it's challenging their believes, conflicted, processing, don't understand, feeling desensitised and more. It felt betrayal, gaslight, distrustful, unloved, less valued like life don't matter, guilt tripping and uncaring that make people like me vulnerable of yearning for need that make it easier to preyed upon by predatory groomers. This ruthless behaviour and habit is symptom lead to dark stage of becoming far extreme offender like domestic abuser if unchecked, unreported, unspoken, deny and negligence.
I didn't get a chance to explain but left confused and shamed.
My parent made it worse tomorrow about of getting into trouble and asking me question in mad tone. I couldn't think why as I scared and powerless as i'm already cornered.
I been haunted by this ever since and intrusive thoughts has pick it up into formed a demon persona. Guilt tripping me as creeper who touch other perversely uncomfortably. They plays as the perpetual victim who never overcome the victimhood like irredeemable true crime perpetrators who remorselessly, justify, excuseful, prideful on commitment but inflict their pain onto others as excuse their evil for being victim and allowed to abusive. They overreact and judgemental. They pick on me in entrapment like hunting their prey then torment prey sadistically and violently.
There is something eerie about the safety of animal exhibit, if specific harmless petting is forbidden means either anthropomorphise cognition of animals as same mentality as human (Which should not be treated this way and harmful misunderstood due to animal cognition is different to human and has brain of toddler), animal supremacist which dehumanised people as savages of scapegoat child and treating animals as innocent of golden child or negligence nor lack off animal training and rehabilitation on rescued animal and relaying a lot of pressure on visitors as shifting their responsibility on other people due to sanctimonious.
When animal prone to aggression and traumatic triggers than don't bother exhibiting them on to the public and visitors. Rehabilitated and train them properly and completely! Don't have enough time? Than hire a professional trainer! Don't have the money? Than stop adopting more huskies and do one at a time! and how about your budgeting skill, cutting corner cost and more!.
There is consequence of animal aggression and violent provoking attack is animal will get ceased into authority's custody and get euthanised as damage is already done. There be prosecution, prison sentence, fine, forfeit, loss of licence and criminal record. Don't blame responsibility and negligence on victim blaming.
There also aftermath on victim is PSTD, depression, personal offense, low-self esteem, self doubt in shame and guilt, triggering on innocent things like husky breed, fans, owner, industries and community, prone to get discriminated by prejudice, vulnerable to predators and groomers, intrusive thoughts that can cause mental breaking point of insanity that led to hatred, hypervigilant revenge for justice and closure, struggle with inner peace, stable regular lifestyle, coping, processing, anxiety with paranoia and more.
Trauma is forever lifetime that never goes away and victim will struggle to recover and overcome on personal offense.
I'm aware and are a thing about that there bad visitors and people who torment animals by teasing, scaring, trolling and provoking animals, aggressive punishment on animala, devaluing animals as hollow husk of organism than sentiment being, filthy uncivilised savages and more but this incident is where this has never happened but just accusation.
I will not mention, tag and linked to Wildlife park's identity and their staff. Is not forgive but it's actually national identity. When it reveal, the park will witch-hunt and snitch on me.
I felt like prey to husky like huskies are invasive predator that destroys ecosystem as they dictate fate. Victimised themselves as misunderstood wolves but actually already beloved and respected canine.
Why the trope?
Venting, coping and processing pain. I already sketched a lot.
Utsu-P Eat song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vUoaT7I3Ok
-Wolfish: resembling or likened to a wolf, especially in being rapacious, voracious, or lascivious.
-Predatory (ALT Definition): seeking to exploit others.
-Poachers: Person who hunts or catches game or fish illegally.
Disclaimer: Please respect my opinion, perspective perception and personal offense trauma.
Has anyone notice the frequent trope some of my artworks? Yep, it is nasty huskies.
Why? They are overrated due to difficult to handle, too vigorous that cause burn out and high risk and i hate them personally due to devaluing my wellbeing and predate the matter of my life like a poacher and invasive wildlife.
There a lot of huskies breeds that related to each others and heres the list: Siberian husky, Chucki sleddog/husky, Seppala siberian sleddog/husky, Alaskan malamute, Alaskan klee kai, Alaskan husky, Canadian eskimo husky, Greenland husky, Tamaskan dog/husky, Utonagon dog/husky, Northern Inuit dog/husky, Shiloh and King shepherd, American alasion, Eurohound, Kugsha, Native american indian dog/husky, Chinook, Mackenzie river husky, Alaskan noble companion and Czech mountain dog.
Why Huskies are overrated? (More detail from said before)
-When people adopted them, they get disappointed, frustrated and regret owning one which lead to dump them either streets or countryside into stray then breed feral while invasive to wildlife ecosystem and pest to residential.
-Double coated fur do shed a lot into messy and heat stress.
-Vigorous energy due to breed's background and bred for which can cause burn out on owner to look after.
-When husky not getting excised can led to destructive behaviour (just like others animal) but also escape artist that going to be cat and mouse chase to retrieve them back.
-Wolf wanna be temperament of attitude, stubborn, wolfish,
-High risk of prey drive instinct due to breed's background and bred for hunting, artic origin, adaptation (by group of indigenous Inuit-Aleut peoples) and carnivore diet.
-Huskies come from the arctic and the arctic has a lack of vegetation in winter season and polar night which means less photosynthesis. A cause they have carnivore diet and the special diet requirement for breed's need is expensive due to both raw and high meat based contained are most expensive dog food but also have to allow non-husky dogs to access them for healthy, working and equality reason as cannot keep all special resources to husky exclusively. Another issue is very dark, the shady cost cutting which means poaching, trapping, kidnapping/theft/stolen (livestock and pets) and fraudulent rehoming animals to be slaughtered or live feeding (Not vore) to feed their husky.
-The Strength due to breed's background and bred for mushing/sledding which they gonna pull and drag the dog walker.
-Why is it so hypocritical of huskies not being banned due to same capable of danger as banned dog breeds (Japanese tosa, Pitbull, American bully XL, Dogo argentino and Fila Brasileiros). It's actually the stereotype, appearance, reputation, headline, irresponsibility and damage control on blame the animal, not the abusive owner excuse to ditch responsibility.
-There better alternative wolf-like dogs breeds even underrated: Samoyed, Finnish and Swedish lapphund, Lapponian herder, Keeshond, Eurasier, Elo dog, Shiba inu, Shikoku inu, Hokkaido inu, Kishu inu, Swedish and Norwegian Elkhound, Cierny sery (Black Slovak shepherd), Mantiqueira Shepherd, Gaucho sheepdog, Garafian Shepherd (Pastor garafiano), Lobito Herreno, White swiss shepherd, Swedish vallhund, Nenet laika, Tervuren and Groenendael Belgium shepherd, German shepherd, Dutch shepherd, Cane lupino del gigante, Cane paratore/Cane toccatore, Pastore della Lessinia e del Lagorai, Rough collie, Can de pallerio, some Old German herding dogs, Bohemian shepherd, Eastern European shepherd, Korean Jindo, Pungsan dog, Donggyeongi, Lài dog, Zerdava, Thai bangkaew, Jeju dog, American eskimo, Japanese spitz, Kintamani dog, Tonya finosu, Hmong bobtail dog, Throwback chow chow, and more. (By the way, please do research to find the right breed to adopt that suitable for your lifestyle and capable of handlement to reach the breed's need. Additional pet care training from experience by volunteering and also study by educational course: Holly and Hugo is recommended https://hollyandhugo.com/)
-In fandom and sub-culture (Furry, Wolfkin, animal and wolf-related franchise like Alpha and Omega, Wolf king, Twilight, 100% wolf, Wolfquest, Legend of Zelda: twilight princess, Beastars, Zootopia and more): Huskies are most recognisable and go to due to charisma, athletic, attractive, larger than life, mystical, majestic, respected, charming, wolf-like, popular, special, powerful, heroic and more but there are wide range of wolf-like dogs said before that are underrated, more special, unique, obscure and under-represented.
I hate husky personally and how they
-Animal supremacy: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKC.....x=235&t=5s) I have been effected by this dynamic relationship and it's just like in comparison a sanctimonies' Golden child and scapegoat child of how animals are golden and I was scapegoat.
Is that why i'm furry, just to become like the golden child to get what I yearn for like lycanthropy? No, I loved animals since childhood even far back younger in primary stage and been my interest and obsession ever since that led to me become a furry.
Weaponizing animal as golden child to justify bigotry and discriminately violation on humanity is sanctimonious degeneracy that fly under the rader in plain sight is frustrating as nobody saw the visible red flag in front of them. Regardless the polar opposite is animal cruelty cause people to become abusers inflicted on people which is true but also trying to warn as it's the same for z00phila/bestiality cause people to become abusive sex offender on people.
It's depressing of how my family treats animals far better than me with husbandry, breeding, nutrition, medication, great welfare, bond and getting to know the animal (even they used effective method of killing all the fleas and lice by coating with baby oil and then washed it with tea tree pet shampoo) while they treat me dehumanised, pressure, scapegoat, misunderstood, fear and more. I have my own pets.
This why I hated people who hates humanity/humanise, dignity and Samaritan, behave antisocial that harms others, believe all civil kind is evil and prefer animals instead. I get it why because bad apple aspect of society sucks as hell especially they been overshadowed positive, manipulating and controlling everyone like cult, gatekeeping your reputation and accessibility like they think they are guardian of society keeping evil at bay, misconception propaganda with stereotypes, lies and more, gang of mobs think they protest against you into outcast like social elitism and dominating communities, industries, locals and neighbourhood. People sucks even they are animals (Furries/Scalies/Kin/Lycanthrope/Therian/Spirit animal/mascot/family emblem crest and more).
-Overrated due to what I said before.
-Damage already been done: Broken by intrusive thoughts haunted by the incident. Helpless, alone, invalidated, blameable and stigmatised on unchallengeable. Distrustful, triggering, purify,
-Reminds me of personal offenders: sanctimonious peoples.
-Difficult to raised and high risk as banned dog breeds due to what I said before.
-Charismatic, Attitude, larger than life and charming just like my abuser and signs as manipulative hypnotising into dependency both loyal servant: loyal dictatorship officer of minion network, twist narrative into believing in delusional fictional worldbuilding created and dictated by abuser as they are god, and for victims: framed entrapment, submissive and obedience, prized possession, imprisonment at bay and suppression, tolerating and enduring excuse for abuse as norm, efficiency, fulfil desire, sacrifice, punishment and sympathy and more. I hate falling into this even I must always restrain myself to prevent happening again.
-Sanctimonious high-ground preachy wolf-in-sheep's-clothing, husky has heroic and majestic with wolf spirit reputation but twist villain behind back and plain sight.
-Awful husky people like Nacho doggo (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJ9E7YFGSU8), Sephius riverdare and Elite knight from 2018 Zoosadist leak (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oRopywyP0k), Lumin city (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4u0WPdimY9w), Evil Sibe (https://youtu.be/k_yLQXYysCw?si=eun.....vtVU&t=750), Cenny husky (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-grJDTogI8), Zrcalo (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKjMVKH4yHo + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxFaDzCB7l0), Nitro Roosky (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsPMoVvpbso), Minty the husky2 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcFoKS6Lmyg), Saitama Dog Lover Serial Murderers/Pet shop of horrors (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpscAa-BRJY).
-Bad incident and red flags: Years ago, I went to an animal experience (Camping with wolves/huskies) at wildlife park as special holiday trip on early June. It took one harmless mistake that was normal and went cold then haunted ever since. Before that, there is something questionable about the littered animal prey remains in enclosure when meet the pack visit that I ask question about controversial practice in animal care is live feeding on husky's diet (Reptile video about live feeding debate): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TP6HbJ6T5QU. At the time, before this is there's youtube video exposing the cruelty of this practice in captive wild animals in zoo/wildlife park/sanctuary and domesticated pets, NERD called out the infamous youtuber Reptile channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tiM.....uM&t=1373s about the practice, intention of desirable fulfil vore fetish and zoosadism, disrespecting prey and faking education to disguise snuff film content. NERD mention is if it dogs then justice would be taken action easily compared to reptile in marginalised.
The staff responds is no but later my parent ask how much dog food to feed the entire pack and the staff responds it a lot of money. So I speculate it just cutting cost of why they feed animal corpses from either hunting or trapping or abattoir or adopted nor something but there might be something more to this is: Is it natural feeding to simulate huskies as wolves? or Zoosadism?. I understand the huskies background with indigenous in arctic as vegetation sparse, meaty diet is common in survival and working dog diet that explain why husky require raw meat diet which led to concerning question about high risk to people like banned dog breeds.
The huskies are adopted from shelter as rescued (I think) like rehomed from bad upbringing, once in custody of bad owners and before euthanised if from kill shelter.
When you own pets, the most common thing to do is cuddle and petting pampered them like a living teddy bear and emotional support. Then when meeting with other pets, the first thing to do is ask to pet them is they are safe. Then in animal experience that animal is legally exhibit which they supposed to be safe and the park allow petting, what the first thing to do?, petting. Sometime in animal experience and petting zoo or farm allow you held, handling and cuddle the animal depend on the what species is appropriate and animal's individual comfort, personality, trained and safety toward visitors. But if it is in husky experience? Domesticated dog which is a special breed that's allowed to be petted, interact, do basic tricks and safe for visitors. Well no sadly betrayal disappointed, In this wildlife park, the huskies have been legally exhibited to be interact by visitors but when hugging and cuddling have gotten confusion, safety concern and questioning.
Before animal experts (or so called or supremacist) put excuse for abuse and victim blame me.
I forgot to ask permission because of excitement, normalised and petting allowed, didn't thought it be such problematic as I did been to petting farm and zoo before that allowed to held handled. When hugged one, the staff said no repeatedly like Ad0lf H*tler shouting Nein repeatedly (Means No in German language) and got into trouble over silly thing like it's in Art commentary community (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezi.....RS08&t=18s). No welfare check or questioning to understand nor humanised me to help me improve but ruthlessly judgemental reject me like it's end of the world. It felt like they don't care about me and hop into conclusion i'm the terrible person. Cared about their reputation, huskies, licence, park and more like antisocial Narcissist than civil sentiment beings with safety and wellbeing.
I hate it when people being ruthless, cold hearted, dismissive, neglectful, uncaring, uninterest and contradicting while they actually care is f**king abusive interaction and relationship. It's dishonest when they don't let you know when it's challenging their believes, conflicted, processing, don't understand, feeling desensitised and more. It felt betrayal, gaslight, distrustful, unloved, less valued like life don't matter, guilt tripping and uncaring that make people like me vulnerable of yearning for need that make it easier to preyed upon by predatory groomers. This ruthless behaviour and habit is symptom lead to dark stage of becoming far extreme offender like domestic abuser if unchecked, unreported, unspoken, deny and negligence.
I didn't get a chance to explain but left confused and shamed.
My parent made it worse tomorrow about of getting into trouble and asking me question in mad tone. I couldn't think why as I scared and powerless as i'm already cornered.
I been haunted by this ever since and intrusive thoughts has pick it up into formed a demon persona. Guilt tripping me as creeper who touch other perversely uncomfortably. They plays as the perpetual victim who never overcome the victimhood like irredeemable true crime perpetrators who remorselessly, justify, excuseful, prideful on commitment but inflict their pain onto others as excuse their evil for being victim and allowed to abusive. They overreact and judgemental. They pick on me in entrapment like hunting their prey then torment prey sadistically and violently.
There is something eerie about the safety of animal exhibit, if specific harmless petting is forbidden means either anthropomorphise cognition of animals as same mentality as human (Which should not be treated this way and harmful misunderstood due to animal cognition is different to human and has brain of toddler), animal supremacist which dehumanised people as savages of scapegoat child and treating animals as innocent of golden child or negligence nor lack off animal training and rehabilitation on rescued animal and relaying a lot of pressure on visitors as shifting their responsibility on other people due to sanctimonious.
When animal prone to aggression and traumatic triggers than don't bother exhibiting them on to the public and visitors. Rehabilitated and train them properly and completely! Don't have enough time? Than hire a professional trainer! Don't have the money? Than stop adopting more huskies and do one at a time! and how about your budgeting skill, cutting corner cost and more!.
There is consequence of animal aggression and violent provoking attack is animal will get ceased into authority's custody and get euthanised as damage is already done. There be prosecution, prison sentence, fine, forfeit, loss of licence and criminal record. Don't blame responsibility and negligence on victim blaming.
There also aftermath on victim is PSTD, depression, personal offense, low-self esteem, self doubt in shame and guilt, triggering on innocent things like husky breed, fans, owner, industries and community, prone to get discriminated by prejudice, vulnerable to predators and groomers, intrusive thoughts that can cause mental breaking point of insanity that led to hatred, hypervigilant revenge for justice and closure, struggle with inner peace, stable regular lifestyle, coping, processing, anxiety with paranoia and more.
Trauma is forever lifetime that never goes away and victim will struggle to recover and overcome on personal offense.
I'm aware and are a thing about that there bad visitors and people who torment animals by teasing, scaring, trolling and provoking animals, aggressive punishment on animala, devaluing animals as hollow husk of organism than sentiment being, filthy uncivilised savages and more but this incident is where this has never happened but just accusation.
I will not mention, tag and linked to Wildlife park's identity and their staff. Is not forgive but it's actually national identity. When it reveal, the park will witch-hunt and snitch on me.
I felt like prey to husky like huskies are invasive predator that destroys ecosystem as they dictate fate. Victimised themselves as misunderstood wolves but actually already beloved and respected canine.
Why the trope?
Venting, coping and processing pain. I already sketched a lot.
Utsu-P Eat song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vUoaT7I3Ok
Journal: Centaur/Taur p0rn question and debate.
Posted 6 months agoI been questioning this challenging grey area question. Is centaur/Taur pornagraphy and sexual romantic attraction is b3stiallity? Due to being part humanoid above attached to body of feral animal below.
It techally the Taur can get away with it because of half humanoid body with eligible adult human intelligence and cognition with capable of consent. The bottem half animal body that kickstart the tuff morality question.
My concern is the possible feral p0rn aspect that people will develop sexual attraction to fetishise and sexualise animal into arousal. I do not want people to get sexual trigger when encounter and contact with regular animal in real life.
Then has the desire to inflict on animals and then to people as animal cruelity is sympton link to harm on human being. It is possible the Taur is less likely and acceptable in p0rnography and sexual romantic attraction relationship but if any arousal on feral animal in real life, it's best to cut ties to Taur p0rnography to avoid triggers and seek helpline. It is hard but don't let temptation corrupt into evil and just prevent it now.
It is grey area debate that may be unsolved and struggle to conclusion that cause division in communities: both furries, fantasy and more.
What's my opinion on Taur p0rn?
Not much b3stiality as it part humanoid body but unsure about bottem feral body. I'm aware it may cause the pipeline but i'm very conflicted on this that i struggle to get it resolve into conclusion.
What's your opinion on this debate?
But if i accidentally cause a furry and fantasy genre controversy, sorry i caused a sparked the flame. It's something bothering me in morality and mental health.
I'm against z00philia/b3stiality especially feral p0rn (Animal abuse p0rn) as it desensitised, sexualised and fetishise animal into sexual romantic arousal attraction and cause developing desire and sensitive triggers into commiting the act in real life which is sympton of becoming abuser and murderer, thus seel the unforgivable fate and destroy the entire life. Animal victim will become troubling unstable behavour and act that prone to aggresive from PTSD which chance non-recovered will provoke violant will get seize under athourity's custody and get euthanised instead of rehab.
Basically victims are doomed from beginning of evil incident and that's why perpetrators deserve to be unvalidated, discredited, disowned, forfeit and prosecuted. Also another that's why we need victim support on their safeguarding, cutting ties to perpetrator in complete isolation away from their perpetrator in order to be safe and recovery in counsilling. Sorry i might gone off rail thus slipping into justice stuff but i have to keep reminding everyone about this serious thing to prevent harm like what happen to me on emotional/pyscological domestic abuse.
It techally the Taur can get away with it because of half humanoid body with eligible adult human intelligence and cognition with capable of consent. The bottem half animal body that kickstart the tuff morality question.
My concern is the possible feral p0rn aspect that people will develop sexual attraction to fetishise and sexualise animal into arousal. I do not want people to get sexual trigger when encounter and contact with regular animal in real life.
Then has the desire to inflict on animals and then to people as animal cruelity is sympton link to harm on human being. It is possible the Taur is less likely and acceptable in p0rnography and sexual romantic attraction relationship but if any arousal on feral animal in real life, it's best to cut ties to Taur p0rnography to avoid triggers and seek helpline. It is hard but don't let temptation corrupt into evil and just prevent it now.
It is grey area debate that may be unsolved and struggle to conclusion that cause division in communities: both furries, fantasy and more.
What's my opinion on Taur p0rn?
Not much b3stiality as it part humanoid body but unsure about bottem feral body. I'm aware it may cause the pipeline but i'm very conflicted on this that i struggle to get it resolve into conclusion.
What's your opinion on this debate?
But if i accidentally cause a furry and fantasy genre controversy, sorry i caused a sparked the flame. It's something bothering me in morality and mental health.
I'm against z00philia/b3stiality especially feral p0rn (Animal abuse p0rn) as it desensitised, sexualised and fetishise animal into sexual romantic arousal attraction and cause developing desire and sensitive triggers into commiting the act in real life which is sympton of becoming abuser and murderer, thus seel the unforgivable fate and destroy the entire life. Animal victim will become troubling unstable behavour and act that prone to aggresive from PTSD which chance non-recovered will provoke violant will get seize under athourity's custody and get euthanised instead of rehab.
Basically victims are doomed from beginning of evil incident and that's why perpetrators deserve to be unvalidated, discredited, disowned, forfeit and prosecuted. Also another that's why we need victim support on their safeguarding, cutting ties to perpetrator in complete isolation away from their perpetrator in order to be safe and recovery in counsilling. Sorry i might gone off rail thus slipping into justice stuff but i have to keep reminding everyone about this serious thing to prevent harm like what happen to me on emotional/pyscological domestic abuse.
New social media more accounts! Youtube and Cara.
Posted 6 months agoI recently created Cara Yesturday and now open up my few years old Youtube channel with a recorded Flipnote animation i made as a kid which also shared with Newground. Thanks to Youtuber Raymundo to inspire me to open up and share my childhood artworks and project i made a kid. Perhaps this could inspire others to value the importants of childhood of why it's okay to be a kid and growing up too fast is unhealthy.
There will be More flipnote animation recording videos soon.
Cara: https://cara.app/jammiemonstadoggo
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@loafdoggo1165
There will be More flipnote animation recording videos soon.
Cara: https://cara.app/jammiemonstadoggo
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@loafdoggo1165
Journal: Address the cannibal redcoat in the room.
Posted 7 months agoThe joke artwork: British empire recruitment propaganda parody, the first propaganda parody, the one that I have not got into trouble. The one that led to predecessor of the infamous failed USSR propaganda parody.
Made as edgy shock humor troll art has later might become outdated with conflicting debate about glorifying the evil empire or mocking the evil empire as greedy cannibal hypocrite.
Why glorifying British empire is bad?
British empire's misdeeds did everything wrong!.
Is Redcoat offensive?
Yes but actually no. (Pirates the band of misfit meme)
Yes for former colony nationals and ethnic group been harmed by British empire and uniform are been used in oppression.
No because of been repurpose into Royal guards, Military ceremonial and RMCP/Canadian police (Traditional uniform).
And cause no, Redcoats are NOT SS waffen uniform despite the British empire guilty of Nazi-eques eugenics.
Why the hell made this to begin with?
At the time I had outdated believes under the wrong influence is from my family that led to marginalising and mishandle sensitive topic like dark history. The fact that my family indoctrinate me into believing excuse for abuse out of sympathetic reason and motive is acceptable and have to tolerate it thus distorted my perception and morality.
This ideology is come from someone (like @1|)r!|<) who actually sanctimonious whom is so called "good guy, sympathetic, charismatic, best opinion, high ground, guardian, saviour (complex), inspirational, rightous, height and more". The very easy to root for good guys thing that domestically abused me and almost destroyed my life.
Another influence that combining factor is humanised villain in media that i relate to as i was been portray as bad guy from my abuser and relate to villains because they gone through that i gone though that worsen my distorted perception, thinking theirs sympathy in most villains including the hecking British empire. I regret it, it's cringe and outdated. Age like milk.
Apology:
I sorry I made a stupid offensive edgy shock humor joke art for sake of being edgy that come off as glorify the evil British empire and has marginalised those been negatively affected.
At the time i was impressionable and naïve but obediently indoctrinated and normalised by outdated influence and inspiration from my family.
I feel remorse of being motivated to create edgy for the sake of edgy shock but now i used to handle raw material that is shocking to reveal the tragic truth to be taken serious and understand as cautionary and awareness than unnecessarily jokes.
Why NOT scrapped or recalled?
Reinterpretation on troll art as British empire is greedy gluttonous hypocrite. Britain commit the absolute Darwin award for recruiting Bri'ish cannibals, the very thing they oppose that they "civilising" foreign indigenous territory, community and ethnicity.
This recon reinterpretation version is now canon and funny.
Already started to recycling Albino wolf.
I made artwork based on Iron maiden trooper featuring the same Albino wolf from the parody. I already had plans to for this character as OC with a unrevealed name but not everyone think it is. I was to make him more Wheatly from Portal 2 while being dim and dopy that made him capable of redemption and unravel negative. (Wait it kinda remind me of similarity to Bladewolf.) He still remain a joke character as originally intended. It's due to growing bond of the character as just someone like me (at the time) lived in world where evil always only has the righteous and goodness and that's where good and righteous only comes from evil. Until later it's actually is possibly that not all good and righteous are evil and don't have to tolerate abused-goodness and self-righteous evil anymore by standing up for myself and whistle blow.
So why recon?
Let's give the empire what they truly deserve … the empire become a lolcow by keep parodying in representing a cannibal redcoat. To symbolise the empire is greedily gluttonous that will eat itself due to instability in oppressed environment.
More evil they caused happened, more they will degrade by karma.
Just wanna put a final nail on coffin on outdated. Not all mistake artworks will get a recon sequel because it depends on coming up ideas. I usually wanted to give happily ever after as a symbol of escaping hell to break free, create closure and moving on.
Made as edgy shock humor troll art has later might become outdated with conflicting debate about glorifying the evil empire or mocking the evil empire as greedy cannibal hypocrite.
Why glorifying British empire is bad?
British empire's misdeeds did everything wrong!.
Is Redcoat offensive?
Yes but actually no. (Pirates the band of misfit meme)
Yes for former colony nationals and ethnic group been harmed by British empire and uniform are been used in oppression.
No because of been repurpose into Royal guards, Military ceremonial and RMCP/Canadian police (Traditional uniform).
And cause no, Redcoats are NOT SS waffen uniform despite the British empire guilty of Nazi-eques eugenics.
Why the hell made this to begin with?
At the time I had outdated believes under the wrong influence is from my family that led to marginalising and mishandle sensitive topic like dark history. The fact that my family indoctrinate me into believing excuse for abuse out of sympathetic reason and motive is acceptable and have to tolerate it thus distorted my perception and morality.
This ideology is come from someone (like @1|)r!|<) who actually sanctimonious whom is so called "good guy, sympathetic, charismatic, best opinion, high ground, guardian, saviour (complex), inspirational, rightous, height and more". The very easy to root for good guys thing that domestically abused me and almost destroyed my life.
Another influence that combining factor is humanised villain in media that i relate to as i was been portray as bad guy from my abuser and relate to villains because they gone through that i gone though that worsen my distorted perception, thinking theirs sympathy in most villains including the hecking British empire. I regret it, it's cringe and outdated. Age like milk.
Apology:
I sorry I made a stupid offensive edgy shock humor joke art for sake of being edgy that come off as glorify the evil British empire and has marginalised those been negatively affected.
At the time i was impressionable and naïve but obediently indoctrinated and normalised by outdated influence and inspiration from my family.
I feel remorse of being motivated to create edgy for the sake of edgy shock but now i used to handle raw material that is shocking to reveal the tragic truth to be taken serious and understand as cautionary and awareness than unnecessarily jokes.
Why NOT scrapped or recalled?
Reinterpretation on troll art as British empire is greedy gluttonous hypocrite. Britain commit the absolute Darwin award for recruiting Bri'ish cannibals, the very thing they oppose that they "civilising" foreign indigenous territory, community and ethnicity.
This recon reinterpretation version is now canon and funny.
Already started to recycling Albino wolf.
I made artwork based on Iron maiden trooper featuring the same Albino wolf from the parody. I already had plans to for this character as OC with a unrevealed name but not everyone think it is. I was to make him more Wheatly from Portal 2 while being dim and dopy that made him capable of redemption and unravel negative. (Wait it kinda remind me of similarity to Bladewolf.) He still remain a joke character as originally intended. It's due to growing bond of the character as just someone like me (at the time) lived in world where evil always only has the righteous and goodness and that's where good and righteous only comes from evil. Until later it's actually is possibly that not all good and righteous are evil and don't have to tolerate abused-goodness and self-righteous evil anymore by standing up for myself and whistle blow.
So why recon?
Let's give the empire what they truly deserve … the empire become a lolcow by keep parodying in representing a cannibal redcoat. To symbolise the empire is greedily gluttonous that will eat itself due to instability in oppressed environment.
More evil they caused happened, more they will degrade by karma.
Just wanna put a final nail on coffin on outdated. Not all mistake artworks will get a recon sequel because it depends on coming up ideas. I usually wanted to give happily ever after as a symbol of escaping hell to break free, create closure and moving on.
Journal: Must never be done!, So what's up foe!
Posted 7 months agoWhat's up danger song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y88LVU7MAe4
Prepare for venting insane horns in my sh*t.
It's ain't over because it never stop ever since, ... is my spirit! My existence and individualism liberty is resistance!
I'm ain't sacrifice myself for you, I will never offer myself to you!.
Let's start this PUNK RIOT, sang the Baltic revolution song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3BTthay29w) in civil chain loud in ear rape maximum levels at the big bad haux.
Recap
I was once naïve, impressionable and fractured, i once believe that people has the right to be toxic and abusive to me for a reason, learnt from my parent. My parent raise me to be beaten down by harsh criticism for primary breaking my spirit successfully thus destroying my self esteem, opportunity, independent by making living in fear along with paranoia, anxiety and avoidance. I was made to purpose to be servant to obediently serve others by claiming me. At the time I don't belong to main world and normal community and society as I anxiety and indoctrinate by my family's propaganda to fear of corruption. My family's creates propaganda misinterpretation me as villain and enemy against society by characterised me like sub-race being. It's the big bad wolf and peasant relationship. I have been an outcast, freaky and weirdo ugly duckling growing up and then isolated. My parent barely give me socialising and support while i'm being the shy and timid, they barely didn't bother give me clubs and volunteer but when did, I get bullied and didn't report my bullies because I was raised to tolerate and be silence. What's worse they mishandled my angst due to damage already been done. I was lost in void and confused but naïve. I became extremely edgy as hell with dark thoughts and believe the world hates me but not radicalism. I had dark anti-social fantasies stuff like violence, killing, gore, hatred, crime and more villainous stuff as at the time that what I suppose to belong due to mistreatment I suffered from my abusive family. That I made a edgy OCs based off it, one a radioactive wolfdog monster and other is pika (Not Pokémon, it's lagomorph species). When I finally get glimpse the normal world by contacted by nice good people and positivity, I was not used to positivity as it's alien and takes time to settle to adapting to adopt positive. They open my inner light as I began to learn a new experience and discover my hidden natural personality like curiosity as example. I gain confident for first time and felt like I can do anything. However all good things come to end as my family took me away by manipulating me back and love bombed me during safeguarding drama. I was back isolated and then returned to hell.
The moment my family finally gave up on me and wanted me to be punished by suffering corruption from local authority, community and industry that they think i will return back to them but i just ditch them mediately. It's all over a accusation and then dumped me. I became a refuge but luckily the agent are not corrupt but polar opposite as supportive. I got new home but heck worse when suffering mental illness as my intrusive thoughts schizo gets worse. It took one mistake of mishandled that i was just only trying to have fun that attracted and trigger the wrong user online that push me in breaking point. I tried to resolve but left ghosted without approval but tried to bring closure but still haunted. This negative moment that has impact me that almost destroy my life end but karma's blessing god has save the me with luck, the support workers has helped me into recovery, get prescribe medication and got counselling. I able to recover by keeping attending my local therapy groups. The traumatic stress and uncontrollable compulsive obsession from my psychosis disorder is nightmare fuel and got worse through the years. I first got the early symptom in my teen years of hearing voices in my head and then turn into tulpa of uncontrollable intrusive thoughts. I feel the present of 3rd party character and their interaction but worse it's twisted demonic of malice. Everything i said is real but not my shcizo intrusive thoughts just to let you know.
Right now i'm living a normal life and been going out everyday touching grass and no longer fear of outside world as once used to. I have been spoken out about things ever since I began to come out the closet. Have accept that not everything is not always my fault when it come to others action. I'm responsible for my action and decision but won't let myself down due to other response. Now I sometimes share my online activity to therapist, Samaritan and allies. I'm not alone anymore, I become more independent and don't serve any master, confident that can take risk to challenge and spread awareness.
Despite behaving like a emo in my descriptions, comments and journals but it's help me to bring up to share my experience.
Like I said: Must never be over ever since!. Even i'm monstrous beast but still sentiment humanised being. I make mistakes and bad decision but it must never be over ever since. My foes are dump. People like them with sh**ty behaviours and actions is = totalitarian dictatorship. And they are okay with that. But I don't care anymore because it's not be fault anymore and they can't claim me forever ever after.
I created my entire social media because it was my childhood dream to be artist, content creator, influencer and become popular. In early times, I was mentally ill, naïve and impressionable and haven't uploaded anything until 2 artwork: Inui-loaf and marshmellow boi and then a year later I began to be productive. I was still naïve and impressionable till 2024 before rehab.
I was so used to be indoctrinated into abuse is normal and there are critical excuse. It's how been used as correctional discipline in parenting I was been raised like violence is answer for my parent because they made me behave by fear and pain but result of me being more unstable. Media and social media also normalised abuse. Make mistake, get violent punishment. Left errors, get abusive punishment. Criticise master or guardian or "heroes", get abusive punishment. Didn't know, get abusive punishment. Mistaken things, get abusive punishment. Confused, get abusive punishment. Didn't mean to of no malice intention, get abusive punishment. Accusation about me, get abusive punishment. Conspiracy about me, get abusive punishment.
When i got scolded by harsh criticism online that made me snapped days after received that i can't take the abuse anymore. It took me a long time to come out and spoke out about my problem. I'm so used to sympathetic, genuine, mature guardian, so called good guy hero being absolute evil degenerates, it's like H*tler did nothing wrong because he tried to revolutionised civilisation and humanity by sacrificing "troubling defected inferior losers (People like me)" while repopulating genetically correct super magical ayran race people but actually the H*tler and the N*zi turn out being absolute evil degenerates and done evil atrocity against humanity like dictatorship, h0locaust g3nocide, world war, extremism, traumatising others and more. So yeah, H*tler did everything wrong and so the same to so called "Easy to root for, sympathetic, genuine, mature, heroic" abusers.
I discredit degenerates who cause negative impact in my life but I only prefer to credit those who saved my life and myself for rebellion that saved my life. The reason why is to discourage people to think or inspired abuse is the answer and dictating other's life but also the grasp of reaching out to SOS to escape. They just want other's to fail and justified their abusive action as the answer even when it change others.
What I saw what happen to infamous lolcow Chris chan of how he allows others especially trolls to dictate his life by keep feeding and engaging the trolls.
When bad thing happen, best to get help with support than relay on bad people especially their approval.
No one should play god on another's lives, it's domestic abuse. Cut them out of life.
Never let anyone dictate my life. My life, never theirs. No excuse for abuse. Don't be like them especially they focus on others.
Why am I compulsive about this?
I type down as document journal, venting it all out and express myself. I disorder and trauma will never ends and it's scar I has to live with entire life. The intrusive thoughts always appear at anytime and at moment. What way for myself to deal with it, spoke out to let it off my chest and vent out in artworks and sketches. I wanted to let people know about struggle that they relate, understand and inspired to come out of their closet that they not okay and need help. That's why i'm a emo.
I do post and repost positive to cheer things up, not always doom and gloom and share my interest.
Prepare for venting insane horns in my sh*t.
It's ain't over because it never stop ever since, ... is my spirit! My existence and individualism liberty is resistance!
I'm ain't sacrifice myself for you, I will never offer myself to you!.
Let's start this PUNK RIOT, sang the Baltic revolution song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3BTthay29w) in civil chain loud in ear rape maximum levels at the big bad haux.
Recap
I was once naïve, impressionable and fractured, i once believe that people has the right to be toxic and abusive to me for a reason, learnt from my parent. My parent raise me to be beaten down by harsh criticism for primary breaking my spirit successfully thus destroying my self esteem, opportunity, independent by making living in fear along with paranoia, anxiety and avoidance. I was made to purpose to be servant to obediently serve others by claiming me. At the time I don't belong to main world and normal community and society as I anxiety and indoctrinate by my family's propaganda to fear of corruption. My family's creates propaganda misinterpretation me as villain and enemy against society by characterised me like sub-race being. It's the big bad wolf and peasant relationship. I have been an outcast, freaky and weirdo ugly duckling growing up and then isolated. My parent barely give me socialising and support while i'm being the shy and timid, they barely didn't bother give me clubs and volunteer but when did, I get bullied and didn't report my bullies because I was raised to tolerate and be silence. What's worse they mishandled my angst due to damage already been done. I was lost in void and confused but naïve. I became extremely edgy as hell with dark thoughts and believe the world hates me but not radicalism. I had dark anti-social fantasies stuff like violence, killing, gore, hatred, crime and more villainous stuff as at the time that what I suppose to belong due to mistreatment I suffered from my abusive family. That I made a edgy OCs based off it, one a radioactive wolfdog monster and other is pika (Not Pokémon, it's lagomorph species). When I finally get glimpse the normal world by contacted by nice good people and positivity, I was not used to positivity as it's alien and takes time to settle to adapting to adopt positive. They open my inner light as I began to learn a new experience and discover my hidden natural personality like curiosity as example. I gain confident for first time and felt like I can do anything. However all good things come to end as my family took me away by manipulating me back and love bombed me during safeguarding drama. I was back isolated and then returned to hell.
The moment my family finally gave up on me and wanted me to be punished by suffering corruption from local authority, community and industry that they think i will return back to them but i just ditch them mediately. It's all over a accusation and then dumped me. I became a refuge but luckily the agent are not corrupt but polar opposite as supportive. I got new home but heck worse when suffering mental illness as my intrusive thoughts schizo gets worse. It took one mistake of mishandled that i was just only trying to have fun that attracted and trigger the wrong user online that push me in breaking point. I tried to resolve but left ghosted without approval but tried to bring closure but still haunted. This negative moment that has impact me that almost destroy my life end but karma's blessing god has save the me with luck, the support workers has helped me into recovery, get prescribe medication and got counselling. I able to recover by keeping attending my local therapy groups. The traumatic stress and uncontrollable compulsive obsession from my psychosis disorder is nightmare fuel and got worse through the years. I first got the early symptom in my teen years of hearing voices in my head and then turn into tulpa of uncontrollable intrusive thoughts. I feel the present of 3rd party character and their interaction but worse it's twisted demonic of malice. Everything i said is real but not my shcizo intrusive thoughts just to let you know.
Right now i'm living a normal life and been going out everyday touching grass and no longer fear of outside world as once used to. I have been spoken out about things ever since I began to come out the closet. Have accept that not everything is not always my fault when it come to others action. I'm responsible for my action and decision but won't let myself down due to other response. Now I sometimes share my online activity to therapist, Samaritan and allies. I'm not alone anymore, I become more independent and don't serve any master, confident that can take risk to challenge and spread awareness.
Despite behaving like a emo in my descriptions, comments and journals but it's help me to bring up to share my experience.
Like I said: Must never be over ever since!. Even i'm monstrous beast but still sentiment humanised being. I make mistakes and bad decision but it must never be over ever since. My foes are dump. People like them with sh**ty behaviours and actions is = totalitarian dictatorship. And they are okay with that. But I don't care anymore because it's not be fault anymore and they can't claim me forever ever after.
I created my entire social media because it was my childhood dream to be artist, content creator, influencer and become popular. In early times, I was mentally ill, naïve and impressionable and haven't uploaded anything until 2 artwork: Inui-loaf and marshmellow boi and then a year later I began to be productive. I was still naïve and impressionable till 2024 before rehab.
I was so used to be indoctrinated into abuse is normal and there are critical excuse. It's how been used as correctional discipline in parenting I was been raised like violence is answer for my parent because they made me behave by fear and pain but result of me being more unstable. Media and social media also normalised abuse. Make mistake, get violent punishment. Left errors, get abusive punishment. Criticise master or guardian or "heroes", get abusive punishment. Didn't know, get abusive punishment. Mistaken things, get abusive punishment. Confused, get abusive punishment. Didn't mean to of no malice intention, get abusive punishment. Accusation about me, get abusive punishment. Conspiracy about me, get abusive punishment.
When i got scolded by harsh criticism online that made me snapped days after received that i can't take the abuse anymore. It took me a long time to come out and spoke out about my problem. I'm so used to sympathetic, genuine, mature guardian, so called good guy hero being absolute evil degenerates, it's like H*tler did nothing wrong because he tried to revolutionised civilisation and humanity by sacrificing "troubling defected inferior losers (People like me)" while repopulating genetically correct super magical ayran race people but actually the H*tler and the N*zi turn out being absolute evil degenerates and done evil atrocity against humanity like dictatorship, h0locaust g3nocide, world war, extremism, traumatising others and more. So yeah, H*tler did everything wrong and so the same to so called "Easy to root for, sympathetic, genuine, mature, heroic" abusers.
I discredit degenerates who cause negative impact in my life but I only prefer to credit those who saved my life and myself for rebellion that saved my life. The reason why is to discourage people to think or inspired abuse is the answer and dictating other's life but also the grasp of reaching out to SOS to escape. They just want other's to fail and justified their abusive action as the answer even when it change others.
What I saw what happen to infamous lolcow Chris chan of how he allows others especially trolls to dictate his life by keep feeding and engaging the trolls.
When bad thing happen, best to get help with support than relay on bad people especially their approval.
No one should play god on another's lives, it's domestic abuse. Cut them out of life.
Never let anyone dictate my life. My life, never theirs. No excuse for abuse. Don't be like them especially they focus on others.
Why am I compulsive about this?
I type down as document journal, venting it all out and express myself. I disorder and trauma will never ends and it's scar I has to live with entire life. The intrusive thoughts always appear at anytime and at moment. What way for myself to deal with it, spoke out to let it off my chest and vent out in artworks and sketches. I wanted to let people know about struggle that they relate, understand and inspired to come out of their closet that they not okay and need help. That's why i'm a emo.
I do post and repost positive to cheer things up, not always doom and gloom and share my interest.
Journal: Got a someone's anniversary glory day to ruin.
Posted 7 months agoWhen someone claimed your life by traumatise you and left you mindr*pe. What would you do? Either accepted self doubt and nihilistic fate into washed up and disposable or overcome and conquer your tormentor by stand up for yourself.
I choose: Overcome and conquer my tormentor by stand up for myself. It is a way to show maturity, independence and by challenging the anniversary, that very day, the incidence happened.
What's someone's anniversary glory day means?
When incident took place of the date, can be kept as monument of their glorious victory.
(Help from ChatGPT with the question why do perpetrator collect newspapers/monument of their victims?. Yes it's a real thing in true crime cases.)
Perpetrators who had monument (collect newspapers or clippings, archived and more) about their victims often do so for psychological reasons. Some possible motives include:
1. Trophy Collection
Similar to how some criminals keep souvenirs, they may see newspaper articles as a way to relive their crime and experience a sense of control or accomplishment.
2. Ego Boost & Validation
Seeing their crime reported in the news can reinforce their sense of power, importance, or notoriety. Some perpetrators enjoy reading how law enforcement or the public reacts to their actions.
3. Fear & Psychological Thrill
Some may get a thrill from reading about investigations, especially if they believe they are outsmarting the authorities.
4. Obsession with the Victim
In cases where the crime is personal (e.g., stalking, revenge), keeping news clippings can be a way of maintaining a connection with the victim.
5. Paranoia & Monitoring the Investigation
Some perpetrators keep track of newspaper reports to stay informed about police progress and whether they are under suspicion.
Why I have to ruin it?
Simply as middle finger resistance to cause disruption offence against tormentor as reminder karma always never leave them all alone if they keep continuing it.
It's not just revenge but it's venting out to expose the truth and why abuse is never the answer. There's always no excuse from abuse.
I learn it not my fault and been fighting in self defense and victim blame. Abusers twist reality to make i feel like i'm to blame, but that’s their way of maintaining control and inflict pain.
Feeling powerless is exactly what they want, but the truth is, i have worth, i have strength, and i deserve to be safe and free from harm. No one has the right to make i feel small or trapped.
Perhaps one day if I got the confidence and the courage to give my tormentor a message confronting and calling out thus challenging their action and behaviour while asking to forgive me and leave me alone forever. They don't need to respond, apologise, remorse and forgiveness, it's their free choice of who they become.
I choose: Overcome and conquer my tormentor by stand up for myself. It is a way to show maturity, independence and by challenging the anniversary, that very day, the incidence happened.
What's someone's anniversary glory day means?
When incident took place of the date, can be kept as monument of their glorious victory.
(Help from ChatGPT with the question why do perpetrator collect newspapers/monument of their victims?. Yes it's a real thing in true crime cases.)
Perpetrators who had monument (collect newspapers or clippings, archived and more) about their victims often do so for psychological reasons. Some possible motives include:
1. Trophy Collection
Similar to how some criminals keep souvenirs, they may see newspaper articles as a way to relive their crime and experience a sense of control or accomplishment.
2. Ego Boost & Validation
Seeing their crime reported in the news can reinforce their sense of power, importance, or notoriety. Some perpetrators enjoy reading how law enforcement or the public reacts to their actions.
3. Fear & Psychological Thrill
Some may get a thrill from reading about investigations, especially if they believe they are outsmarting the authorities.
4. Obsession with the Victim
In cases where the crime is personal (e.g., stalking, revenge), keeping news clippings can be a way of maintaining a connection with the victim.
5. Paranoia & Monitoring the Investigation
Some perpetrators keep track of newspaper reports to stay informed about police progress and whether they are under suspicion.
Why I have to ruin it?
Simply as middle finger resistance to cause disruption offence against tormentor as reminder karma always never leave them all alone if they keep continuing it.
It's not just revenge but it's venting out to expose the truth and why abuse is never the answer. There's always no excuse from abuse.
I learn it not my fault and been fighting in self defense and victim blame. Abusers twist reality to make i feel like i'm to blame, but that’s their way of maintaining control and inflict pain.
Feeling powerless is exactly what they want, but the truth is, i have worth, i have strength, and i deserve to be safe and free from harm. No one has the right to make i feel small or trapped.
Perhaps one day if I got the confidence and the courage to give my tormentor a message confronting and calling out thus challenging their action and behaviour while asking to forgive me and leave me alone forever. They don't need to respond, apologise, remorse and forgiveness, it's their free choice of who they become.
Journal: April fools and early Easter
Posted 7 months agoThere's no prank today but instead it's just commentary joke art. Pranked without a prank.
Just doing it to have fun, join the annual holiday event (like I did with Chinese lunar year, halloween, charismas, anniversary and more) and try make you laugh if you get the joke.
The artworks are already pre-made ready for this year event but it's not easy when deadline so i start much ealier to just more time. There's one more left is the sequel will be released in the weakend.
Just doing it to have fun, join the annual holiday event (like I did with Chinese lunar year, halloween, charismas, anniversary and more) and try make you laugh if you get the joke.
The artworks are already pre-made ready for this year event but it's not easy when deadline so i start much ealier to just more time. There's one more left is the sequel will be released in the weakend.
