Contrary to what western science would have people believe, Astrology is more than superstition. With its amazing accuracy to predict events or identify people’s general behavior and characteristics, as well as do other things there is far more that needs to be looked at with astrology than a quick glance that would deem it fortune telling. I am a believer in astrology (for the most part). For those who wish to know me I would advise knowing my Zodiac meanings first; they are a good starting point if you wish to get a feel for the type of person I am. I will list my zodiacs below, along with their general meanings.

Chinese Zodiac: Rabbit
The rabbit is associated with longevity and the moon. Some astrologers identify this sign as the cat, not the rabbit, but Chinese astrologers always refer to it as the rabbit or hare.
Seemingly unexceptional, rabbits provoke extreme reactions. They inspire either adoration or hate, but never indifference. Rabbits are mysterious yet practical, timid but ruthless, articulate but inscrutable, and virtuous as well as cunning. They like their lives to be secure, comfortable, and calm, yet they are fiercely independent. Sensitive and intuitive by nature, rabbits are easily influenced by their emotions.
Mistakenly people often assume that rabbits’ need for security and comfort combined with the urge to avoid confrontation means that they are weak. This is not true. Rabbits will use all their diplomacy, charm, and cunning to achieve their ends. The fact that they very rarely need to resort to outright battle to get their own way is proof of rabbits’ strength, not weakness of character.
Rabbit is linked to the ancient Chinese element of wood. Wood can be both flexible like a sapling or study as an oak. How its energy is expressed depends on how well a wood person can both control and indulge their natural tendencies. For a rabbit, the tendencies to be wary of are the urge to avoid change or trouble at all costs, self-indulgence, and timidity.
The behavior of a rabbit can be unpredictable as it carries according to current circumstances. During peaceful times, rabbits will be at ease and relaxed. Sudden changes, unforeseen events, or conflicts will unbalance rabbits and make them irritable, confused, and even aggressive. Rabbit people will not be happy at such time until they are back in control of the situation. Also, rabbit personalities need to balance their self-preoccupied Yin natures and occasionally try to see things from another’s point of view.

In Western astrology the planets play a large role in understanding what a person’s zodiac sign is. It is seen that a person has two primary signs; a moon sign, and a sun sign. These two zodiac signs influence a person in different ways. The moon sign is the expressive aspects of a person. This part of their personality is the key way in which they behave, make decisions, interact with others, and many other things that require direct action. The aspects of a person’s moon sign are often the aspects that are most easily recognized about that person (either by themselves or by others). The sun sign is the lesser noticed and subtle aspects of a person. In many ways, it is also the core of their being. The sun sign influences most things about a person, but often in an indirect manner. While someone may have a moon sign that makes them rash and impatient, they may have a sun sign that counteracts this and helps give reasoning to their hastily made decision and actions (instead of blindly doing something on impulse). The sun sign is said to have the aspect of what the person will eventually grow into being like.

Zodiac Moon Sign: Scorpio
Scorpio is the fixed water sign of the western zodiac. It can be likened to still waters that run deep. The relentless power of water to penetrate and transform even the hardest rocks is an excellent metaphor through which to understand the driving passion of the Scorpionic personality. Just as stalactites and stalagmites cannot be prevented from growing, once started, Scorpio cannot easily be deflected from his purpose.
Inside anyone who had strong Scorpionic influences is a person who is intractable and impenetrable, so the secret Scorpio usually remains a secret. All Scorpios like to keep to their true nature as hidden as possible. Astrologically, a Scorpio is said to be at one or other of three stages of evolution. A “stage one” Scorpio exercises power through emotion and instinct. This Scorpio is symbolized by the scorpion, an insect more likely, in the end, to sting itself than others. A “stage two” type exercises power through the intellect. This Scorpio is symbolized by the golden eagle – a bird that soars higher than any other. At the final stage of evolution, Scorpio exercises power through love. This Scorpio is symbolized by the dove of peace.
Both Mars (Ares) and Pluto (Hades) rule the Zodiac sign of Scorpio, so anyone shoes birth chart has a strong Scorpio influence will tend to have two drives – one influenced by the battling energy of Mars and the other by the hidden depths of Pluto. In astrology, Mars is the planet of aggression, and Pluto is the planet of magnetic forces.
Taurus is the complementary opposite sign to Scorpio. From Taurus, Scorpio can learn to recognize the talents of other people and appreciate his or her own talents more realistically, because Scorpio is more self-critical than critical of others and often reproaches himself.

Zodiac Sun Sign: Libra
Libra is the cardinal air sign of the western zodiac. It can be likened to a finely tuned wind instrument, producing powerful, moving music in perfect harmony. Air is the breath of life, and cardinal air is a metaphor for ideas put into action. Libras are doers rather than thinkers, although they may spend a long period thinking about a situation before making a decision and acting upon it.
Inside anyone who has strong Libran influences is a person who is terrified of being alone. The fear is usually well controlled so the typical Libra always looks calm, collected, and in charge of the situation. Good-natured and loving, Libras can also be petulant, and even objectionable, when asked to take orders. Similarly, they are extremely intelligent, yet sometimes gullible; they enjoy talking to people, yet can also be very attentive listeners. The Libra symbol (the scales) is a clue to understanding this apparent inconsistency in behavior. In attempting to gain an even balance, the scales first tip on way and then the other. This is how the typical Libra behaves – constantly trying to attain that perfect balance.
Venus (Aphrodite) rules the zodiac sign of Libra, so anyone whose birth chart has a strong Libran influence will tend to be a gentle, loving peacemaker – until the scales tip too far and need to be adjusted. In astrology, Venus is the planet of values, self, possessions, beauty, and love. Libras tend to express these attributes in words and action.
Aries is the complementary opposite sign to Libra. Although relations between them can be difficult, they can become entirely complementary to each other as they mature. Aries, the sign of the self, can inspire Libra to take the initiative alone sometimes. Libra can thus learn to become self-sufficient and also gain a greater sense of personal identity. In this way, Libra, the sign of partnership, may be able to enjoy a separate identity while in a partnership.

While these zodiacs are representative of myself, It should be known that they are not absolute. It is always possible to fix or adjust some of the characteristics and aspects associated with the zodiac. Many of my signs act in a manner that balances the perceived negative qualities of one another. Furthermore, be it the influence of one zodiac upon another, or by my own volition, I’ve already corrected some of the qualities that I deem unwanted and that are often seen as negative. Those qualities that I have not yet mastered, I have already gained reasonable control over and for the most part not a problem. Meditation is one method of self control and understanding that I use and may be of use to others who read this and seek to better know themselves.

An interesting thing to note is the combination of my elements and their symbolic meaning. My main elements are Wind/Air (Libra), Water (Scorpio), and Wood (Rabbit). With wood as a base element, it can represent plants which are symbolic of life. Plants require water to grow; it is the foundation of all life. Along with water, plants also need both sun and air to grow, both of which are represented by the element of wind (the element that represents all things in sky). So together, my western elements can combine with by Chinese elements to form a strong symbol of life – a healthy, growing, plant.

Something else that is interesting is how the spiritual goal of both Libra and Scorpio is said to be, “to learn the meaning of selfless love.” This comes to interest since one of the associated body parts for Scorpio is the reproductive organs, while Libra is associated with the external parts of the reproductive organs. All of which is something I’ve had a strange interest in since I was young enough to have substantial memory (around 3 years old). And yet to add more to this, both Libra and Scorpio prescribe to being zodiacs with an attitude towards sex and relationship as something very intimate and passionate. That love and sex is to be truly emotional and overwhelming in the sense of dedication and endearment. All of which is what I tend to view relationships and sex partners.

It would seem that some people are confused about the difference between flaming and pointing out a person’s flaws. There is a big difference between the two that should be very clear to anyone. To point out a person’s flaw in something, and giver reasons for it, is constructive criticism. Simply making fun of and someone with inflammatory words is plane bullying (flaming). The true difference between constructive criticism and bullying is that while criticism may be hard to listen to, it can be used to improve or fix flaws. Bullying makes people either submit or retaliate.

It should be noted that when someone is being bullied the degree to which the person submits will vary depending on the degree to which they are being, and have been, bullied. The person my simply do what told, run away, cry, or kill them self. The degree to which a bullied person retaliates is also a variable range; from replying with an insult, attacking the instigator, or even killing them.

Because of these variable types of reactions to bullying (flaming) is it important that people are careful about how they word themselves when giving constructive criticism. You do not want to be misinterpreted as flaming the individual. But even with the utmost discretion in wording, it is still up to the recipient of the criticism to understand they are trying to be helped and to decide whether they will accept or disregard the advice.

"The concept of money is a paradox. Money has no utility in its self. It is given utility because of its value. But its value is assessed based on its utility. To have one thing based on something else that is being based off the initial thing is ridicules. And if the utility that is being based off of is not the given utility but the innate utility, then the value of money is null."

-Some things in this may seem confusing. When I refer to the “innate utility”, I am referring to the natural usefulness of money as an object. My basis for money’s innate utility being worthless is that it cannot perform any function that is of help in everyday life (such as cutting wood). The only possible innate utility of money is as full for fire (if made of paper) or as a paper weight (if made of heavy material).-

So here is the first game project I’ll be working on once college ends. True work will probably start January first since I’ll want to finish playing through some games and reading some books with my new found freedom from time.

The game is going to be done in the classic 8-bit, traditional, RPG style with a turn based battle system. The player will be controlling a party of 4 characters to which you will each assign an initial job class from a starting list of 6 different jobs. This list will expand to other job classes that will be accessible in later stages of the game and require different conditions to unlock. Each job class will have its own unique abilities and the range of equipment and spell options will be limited depending on what job class is selected.

The title of the game is still under construction, but until the final title is decided I’m referring to this story as “The Last Star”. The back story for the game involves a humanoid alien race that is forced to flee its home world (this reason is being rewritten) in order to survive extinction. Their space craft’s are flown to the far reaches of the galaxy, not knowing where they would end up. One group of ships discovers a planet similar to their own that can sustain them. Intent on recreating their home planet, the alien vessels set a course for this new world. But along the way, the alien inhabitants of the ships begin to realize the world is too far away to be reached within their lifetimes. They decide to link their consciousness with the computer system of their ships in hopes of returning to their bodies; now preserved in cryostasis. Their crafts eventually reach the new world but are unable to safely land, and crash to the surface like fire from the heavens. As a cloud of dust settles around one of the crashed alien ships, some primitive humans approach from a nearby encampment. One of the human’s enters the ship through a hole torn in its hull. Upon exploring the interior of the craft the human is greeted by a voice without a body; this voice being one of the consciousnesses trapped within the computer. With their alien bodies damaged from the crash landing, the minds of the people were forever trapped inside their ship’s computer. In time, the alien voices managed to communicate with the humans. They helped the humans establish new technology, and in time the human’s begin to revere the wise voices as Gods.

This back story is something to be uncovered as the player progresses through the game. The main story is played using a team of 4 characters. In the beginning of the game, these characters are newly promoted members of their king’s army. Their kingdom is being invaded by another king’s army. The 4 hero’s are sent on various missions to help turn the tide of the war. Eventually, they are given a mission to defect to the enemy army in order to sabotage their king’s efforts. While fighting for the other kingdom, the hero’s begin to have a change of heart and break their orders by becoming mercenaries. This leads them to become enlisted by a faction of freedom fighters. Through this band of rebels, the hero’s discover a secret manipulator of the war. This leads them to yet more discoveries of their country and its Gods and Goddesses. With knowledge of the truth at their disposal, the hero’s set out on a final quest to end the wars and bring about a period of enlightenment.

I posted this in a note to a friend who was interested in it. I figured I should post it in a journal as well since its useful information that could help people. In this I talk about "The Game Formula of Transactional Analysis" by Eric Berne. It’s a psychology concept but plays into logic since logic is used in making decisions. There are 6 steps but I will omit one since it is mostly irrelevant (but I will note it when it would be time for it).

Step 1: The Con. Someone decides to do something in order to lure someone into their trap.
Step 2: The Hook. Someone is interested in something the con artist has to offer (falling victim to desire).
Step 3: The Response. That same someone has now begun to interact with the con artist.
Step 4: The Switch. Having gained control over the conversation or circumstance, the con artist diverts attention from the initial hook and toward something else (the con artist's initial goal).
(Following stop 4 would be a 5th step that would involve nothing more than the reaction from the person being tricked; realizing they had been made to do something they didn't intend to do. this is the irrelevant step).
Step 5: The Payoff. The con artist has achieved his goal.

This layout is really basic but these kinds of situations happen all the time. Some are more subtle than others though. Advertisements on TV, radio, or in magazines are all technically Con's from step 1. They are the business's bait mechanism (the business begin the con artist). Things like geek squad or floor sales men are all part of the process of coning people out of their money.
In other situations, this formula may take the form of bullying. The bully wanting to hurt someone's feelings they begin to prod and poke them with insults as a way to hook the victim into a confrontation. If the confrontation happens then the process is underway and the bully will likely get what he wants (or in actuality already has).
Do keep your attention on the lookout for such things in your life. You’ll find they are everywhere and most often are happening every day. But there is a way to break these situations that oddly enough, has it's origin's in Buddhism. It was taught by Siddhartha Gautama that existence is suffering (something that Nietzsche also taught) and the only way to remove this suffering is to end all desire. Technically, if you have no desire you will not fall victim to the con in step one and will have broken the process.

As many users on FA seem to be posting journals wishing people things like, “Happy Christmas” or “Happy Holidays”. I find it disturbing (yet expected) that no one is wishing anyone a Happy Saturnalia. For those who don’t know what Saturnalia is I’ll do my best to explain it from memory. I hope nothing I recall is inaccurate; I’m too tired to bother doing research to refresh myself on the topic and make sure of my accuracy in explaining the holiday.

Saturnalia is a holiday of the old Roman Empire. It commemorated the goddess Hera (called Saturn in Roman religion). Hera is associated with beauty, festivities, and comfort (among other things). In celebrating Saturnalia, it is customary to have a feast. This often leads to much drunkenness and sex. Originally the feast would only last a few days. Over time, the feast grew in number of days and eventually the celebrations would last for around two weeks (or more in some years). Saturnalia was celebrated even after Rome accepted Christianity as its new main religion but eventually the drunken orgies became frowned upon as unwholesome by the church. This eventually led to the removal of Saturnalia as an official state holiday and eventually the banning of its practice. Eventually, Saturnalia’s ritual of having a celebratory feats was worked into the Christian holiday of Christmas or so it’s believed since Saturnalia takes place in December and ends around the time of Christmas.

*Note that the Roman god Saturn is actually a representation of the Greek god Cronus (Kronos). I'm not sure why but I thought Saturn was Hera for some reason when writing this (Hera is actually Juno in Roman mythology). I'm just too lazy to delete and rewrite part of this so I'll just write it here as a note. For those who don't know, Cronus is the father of Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades (as well as many other Greek gods and goddesses). He is seen as a representation of time and had a Greek celebration in his name (called Kronia) that is similar to the Roman celebration Saturnalia).

This is something I thought about after seeing someone’s journal about seeing the new Tron film in 3D. I never really clarified for people why I don’t like 3D films and this seemed like a good enough time to do it (while my tired mind works out its last thoughts). I thought 3D films might grow on me eventually, but they so far haven’t. I still don't like 3D. It feels pointless to someone like me who enjoys films first for the story, second for the acting and music (couldn't decide which I liked more), and third for the visuals. I do enjoy the older grainy quality in classic movies and film reels, or the clean and smooth look of more modern films like Jurassic Park. But the gimmick of 3D isn't very special to me. It’s the last thing I consider in films as being necessary or part of the art. And in most cases I don't even consider it part of the art. But more as something tacked on to drive sales.

Something on the side that really irritates me is how ignorant most people are about the CG visuals used in films like avatar. These kinds of visuals were never new at the time of the film’s releases and have been used in developing video games for a while. Most of the games that used the ultra high-end animation that was seen in Avatar are only recently starting to come out to the public. But the technology has always been around and was developed by the gaming industry in the first place. The gaming industry always helps out the film industry with stuff like this. They practically work hand-in-hand with each other.

Alright, I’m going to lay something out about my inability to draw so that I can set people straight on the idea that if you try hard enough or long enough you can do or learn anything. I’m getting tired of people always insisting this about me and my art abilities (or any abilities to be exact), so I’m writing this in order to inform people they are wrong to assume anyone can do anything and explain the circumstance with my drawing ability.

First off, I’ll tackle the issue I have with the assumption that practice makes perfect all the time and hard work with perseverance allows you to achieve anything. This idea is seemingly grounded in the Quaker mentality of always working hard; something that has transitioned into modern U.S.A. culture. But as neuroscience continues to progress and unravel the mysteries surrounding the mechanics of the brain, it is finally known that people are limited in what they can natural do and struggle with doing. It is still unknown what effects the brain’s physiological development and how those things do effect its development, but it can certainly be said that part of the answer lies in the person’s chromosomes. Certainly the answer to how a person’s brain will develop is locked within the coding sequence of chromosomal pairs. If this is true and the main aspect of the development of the brain is all within a person’s gene sequence, then that would completely dispel the concept that persistence in trying, trying hard enough, and maintaining a positive attitude towards gaining a desired skill or ability as a way for people to lean to do anything. For if the brain develops in a way that allowed for the larger and smaller growth of specific areas relative to abilities and skills like drawing, writing, mathematics, speaking, dancing, and many others, then the person would have a limited capacity for gaining proficiency in those skill and ability areas. Sometimes people are born with naturally altered brain chemistry that replaces or shifts certain areas of the brain normally assigned to perform certain actions with ease (like blinking or breathing) with another area of the brain that is normally reserved for acquired abilities (like reading, mathematics, or other skills). When this happens, the person is considered to be hyper capable with that ability. This is known to be the case with certain mathematicians who can perform complex mathematical equations in their head at the speed of instinctual thought. It may even be a similar case with some of history’s more famous geniuses like Albert Einstein, Stephen Hawking, Wolfgang Mozart, and Nikola Tesla.

But what this hypothesis can’t explain are the rare cases of people having seemingly no aptitude or ability to perform a skill at one moment, while suddenly being able to learn and perform that very same ability with great ease and skill with little change in circumstances. Perhaps the only rational scientific explanation for this, while sticking to the idea that people are born with limited capacity for learning, is that the synapses in the brain were previously inactive for some reason and preventing use of the part of the brain that allowed for the use of that skill or ability. This would allow for the person to have had a large capacity for said skill or ability but not be able to perform it. But then there must be a reason why the synapses became active again. This is most likely due to some chemical reaction in the brain. However, there would have to be a further cause for this chemical reaction to take place. What chemicals are reacting and what is producing these chemicals? That is the key to understanding this mystery.

I have little knowledge of the glands of the human body, but it is likely that it is through activating these glands that the chemicals are produced and the activation (or reactivation) of the brain’s synapses is occurring. Something like sheer determination could be one way of activating these glands but that can’t be the case since everyone with determination is still not able to gain their desired skill or ability. It must be some accidental brain signal that happens through determination that the glands are activated. If this is the case then gaining skills through motivation and determination are no more than gambles.

An alternative method of reactivating the glands (and one that is highly controversial by western science) is through meditation. It can’t be coincidence that the 7 chakra points on the body line up with the 7 glands of the body that run through the center of the torso and head. Some of these glands are used to produce chemicals that aid in the development of the body while young and shut down once puberty has been reached or finished (like the thymus gland producing T-cells). Control over the pituitary gland, located just behind the bridge of the nose (also the same area where magnetite is found in the body), might be all that is needed to assert control over the brain’s synapses (the pituitary gland controls and relays signals between the brain and body).

The act of meditating and unlocking the chakra points of the body is one that possibly utilizes what science calls subtle energy. Subtle energy is natural electromagnetic (or acoustic) energy that occurs in the body and is even generated by the planet and nature (in nature flowing water acts as a conductor for electromagnetic energy). If meditation allows for control of the body’s natural electromagnetic pulses then it would theoretically be possible to activate, deactivate, or even reactivate the glands individually or simultaneously.

This is my stance on the issue of acquired abilities and I stick by it as a possibility and likelihood. I am open to comments on my idea but do not simply lash out of hatred or disbelief. Have substantial reasoning for why you may disagree with something. And if you agree, that’s nice too.

Now, for my second reason of writing this journal (about damn time I stopped droning on about that science stuff). I can only draw real things that are in front of me but never anything cartoonish for some reason. I have taken many years of art and drawing classes to try and acquire the ability to create the images I see in my mind but none of that worked to my desired outcome. I’ve even had friends, who can draw art very well (both realistic and anime/cartoon style), tutor me and give me advice on how to draw the things I want to draw. But even this has not been of any true help since I still cannot draw from imagination. I can perfectly copy art just by looking at it, yet if that art is in the anime/cartoon style I can’t accurately copy it; it turns out looking like something completely different (usually something more realistic looking). I seem literally incapable of drawing the way I want to. My only thought as to why is pretty much stated in the long explanation of neuroscience above. But put shortly and in normal terms, my brain is just not wired for it.

But not being able to draw my imagination doesn’t mean I have to give up on ever allowing people to see it. I managed to learn to overcome the sever writers block that had been hindering me since first grade (possibly an example of reactivating synapses and gaining access to the writing section of my brain’s lobe for acquired abilities). Now I can write descriptive imagery that allows people to invasion my own imaginative art. This skill of descriptive writing is always under improvement but is at least some way to transmit my imaginative images to paper so that others can see, read, or feel them.

http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2010/.....ga-ban-passes/

Reading the news posting in the link above, it seems Japan has begun to adopt more U.S. themed policies concerning censorship. With this new law (taking effect July next year) visual media such as Anime, Manga, and Video Games will be censored to exclude things like undergarments. While this would most likely cause an uproar amongst the fans of these media types (me included, somewhat) it's also safe to say this may cause a new surge of growth in the dojinshi market for related material. Although, since Japan is democratic state, this law could be revoked before going into effect it's my guess this probably won't happen. It may have changes made to it later on once it's effects have been felt by the general community (if fans and companies are displeased with the way things are turning out). Anime and the likes sure are about to get different I think.

In about a week I’ll be finished with college for what may be forever. Unless I get some mad amount of money and some good reason, I don’t plan to attend or even be able to attend college to get a batchers degree (I’ll have an associate by Christmas). But I’d rather not waist any more of my life on pointless school degrees and just sit back and enjoy life; the way we all should be living. Unfortunately this means I won’t be making money either, which is something rather important for survival in this society. Well, I do plan on maybe working a job. But in the meantime, I’ll be dedicating most of my time to developing independent video games. If I’m never hired by some company or business to do work I just might be able to pull in some income with indie games.

This will of course be very difficult for me since I’m not much of a programmer (I don’t even consider myself able to program with my current skill level), and my art skills are near worthless if I’m only able to draw still life’s. About all I can do is write stories, compose music and audio, and plan out how game mechanics will work and look. I plan to do some more self educating on things like 2D graphics and programming to help out but I’ll probably need actual skilled people for the jobs I’m not really qualified to do myself. I’m sure I’ll eventually find people who are willing to help me on some of these future game projects. Although they’d probably have to be out of their minds since I don’t think I’d be able to really commission them or at least pay out big bucks for their work. They’d basically be working for free. Although that doesn’t mean I might not be able to pay them for their work in some other way.

Some of my indie games are going to be free downloads and are really just a way to get some good games out to the public and maybe help get my name recognized a bit in the world of indie games. If any of my games do become popular, as some have told me they likely will, then helping to work on these games and getting yourself added as part of the development team might also help promote your skills in the indie gaming community.

If there’s anyone on FA who reads this and is skilled at things like 2D graphic pixel art or programming (currently in dire need of 2D pixel artist), than please contact me here or on any of the contact methods I’ve posted in my FA profile. I plan to start posting some of my current and future game concepts here so as to show some people the kinds of games I’m either working on or plan to in the future. These concepts will just be rough outlines and never disclose all info on the games so as to protect my ideas from total theft (I’m paranoid about things like that).

I hate how money and greed control everything. It’s worse than war when you think about it. War is just people fighting. But its greed and hatred formed from influence of wealth and money that causes those things (and religion but that could also be said to just be greedy ambition to control people). It causes people to live in poverty while others live in luxury. It separates people and drives everything apart. If we could all come together in mutual understanding then there wouldn't be as much suffering. But we can't do that till we stop relying on something as stupid as money. Money is just a way for the powerful to stay powerful. It’s a form of suppression.

Last night, while discussing philosophy with a friend, I had a sudden realization of a new view towards reincarnation. I may have had this idea in the past and later forgotten about it, as well as I am sure there have been other people with this idea. But I figure, why not write it out and post it in case others have not heard of this idea.

My thought was inspired by a quote of Chuang Tzu’s that reads, “I dreamed I was a butterfly, fluttering here and there. I followed only my actions as a butterfly, and was not conscious of being an individual. Then I found myself awake, once more in my body. Was I a person dreaming of being a butterfly, or am I butterfly dreaming that I am a person? There is a distinction between a butterfly and a person. The transition is called the metamorphosis of material things.”

Having this quote randomly appear in my head during the conversation about different forms of reincarnation in various religions gave me the idea that perhaps the soul is not something that never changes, but something changing all the time. As is a common view with people who believe in reincarnation, the body is viewed as a casing for the soul to reside within. Some consider that the body is instead more of a prison, rather than a home, for the soul. But with my idea, the physical body is neither a prison nor a home for the soul. It is a cocoon from which the soul emerges upon death. This would make souls to be something like caterpillars that are always undergoing metamorphosis. But what the soul changes into is something unknown. If the soul is like a caterpillar and the physical body is its cocoon, does that mean the soul will die or be damaged if it hatches from the body too soon? If so, than that may be why so many religions that believe in the existence of soul want people to have a natural death and not one cause by abrupt circumstances. If the physical body dies by some natural way of aging, than it could be considered that the soul is ready to emerge from its period of metamorphosis and continue its existence outside of a physical body.

*sigh* I was so not feeling like doing anything today. I’m so tired, yet refuse to sleep. *sigh* You know, sighing feels good. It makes me feel all mellow and relaxed. *sigh* No wonder Buddhist monks practice deep breathing. *sigh* I advise everyone to try some deep sighing right now. Fill your lungs (but don’t strain yourself), hold the air inside you for a moment, then let it all out. Try it first with a few quick releases of breath. Then gradually work your way towards slowly releasing your breath. *sigh* Don’t you feel much better now? ^^

After surfing around FA and having fun in some chats with friends and other furrys, I’ve decided that Mr.Huggles (the character) needs a companion. Not someone to be in love with, but just someone to be friends with and do things with. After running into several dragons around the site (like  Miranda_Dragon and  Renzey) as well as because I like dragons a lot, I’ve decided little Mr.Huggles needs a dragon to be his friend. Doesn’t matter really what kind; could be flying, ground based, sea dwelling, serpentine, chubby, fire breath, or whatever. Mr.Huggles would just love a big dragon to ride around on and have fun exploring the world with. I’d like to know if there are any dragon’s out there that wouldn’t mind being friends and getting featured in pictures and stories with the character, Mr.Huggles. The art and stories can be anything from normal clean stuff to pornographic in nature. It should be noted that Mr.Huggles is into vore and maws. If there are no dragon furrys around who want to be featured with Huggles, than I’d like to find someone who could help create one for him.
Please, post in the comments or send me a note if you’re interested or know someone who might be.

This is more of a reminder to myself than a normal journal. I seem to be back to having visions in my dreams and I had an interesting one this morning at the end of my dream cycle. I had an interesting dream where I was a Japanese man living in an old fashioned traditional Japanese house (from the feudal era). Not sure if it was modern times or not though. I was an artist and had just laid down on the tatami to close my eyes and bask in the sun coming through the window. As I lay there, I was suddenly struck by a vision of inspiration. I sat up and turned to my work desk; grabbing a scroll of paper and my ink brush. I began writing a story of a Chinese man who would wander the country side of China, looking for Tao in everyday life. I drew both the man and the environments in which he traveled. Accompanying each illustration was a description of what was happening in his journey. This was often written in poetic verse like those found in Tao Te Ching.
I called the story, The Book of Chou Lin.

I am thinking of returning to this story at some time and actually writing out what i remember happening in the book (Chou Lin Ching). It'll take some time though. I'm still not sure if this was a vision of something to happen or a portrayal of something from my subconscious. Normal dreams as vivid as this turn out to be visions or something with a hidden meaning. There where many more details to it (like traditional Chinese music I was hearing along with the sound of wind, trees, and birds), but these are the more key aspects of the story. It was interesting that as i was writing Chou Lin Ching it was as if seeing with the eyes of Chou Lin.

So I’m going to talk about something that’s been on my mind for a few days. As is the case with some furry's, I am interested in actually looking like my fursona. But after hearing from a friend about how someone they know recently got a sex change operation, I’m left to wonder if there is any real difference between transsexuals and furry’s wanting to be their fursonas. It’s my opinion that there is none. I reason this with the simple thought that both transsexuals and furry’s who desire a body change don’t feel their natural body is the one they are meant to have. While some furry’s may not admit to thinking this way (and certainly not all furry’s who wish to look like their fursona do) but on occasion I’ve found myself with such thoughts and intense desires as this. It is a somewhat scary thought since this makes me think of ways that there could be something like a furry body swap. But these would most likely involve the skinning of animals and the sowing on of their skin and sooner or later it’s like "Silence of the Lambs". ^^; I have even been wondering for a long time what it’d be like to have a female body. Although I’d never have a sex change since I still like my own body. But with having such thoughts, I don’t see much of a difference between wanting a sex change and wanting to look like your fursona. Both are ultimately desires to change one’s own appearance.

In a private message with a friend on another site, I got into a discussion about something that most schools seem to have today; Spirit Week. For those who don't know what this is, it's not a week devoted to the dead (I wish). It's a week of competition between the four different grade levels of students in high school. Sometimes it can become very competitive and result in damages to the school and sometimes the students (either at the school or away from it). Here are my thoughts that I posted in a response to my friend.

I have a problem with spirit week in schools now, even more since I’ve taken my culture class. Initially in school I just hated it because I didn't care for it and hated all the noise and being crammed into a small gym for it all. but now that I’ve taken a close look at North American and other cultures I realize that it pretty much teaches kids to hate each other. Not directly telling them to hate but by teaching them that one of the most important things to do in life is out do everyone and everything else. In short; "you much win". it's part of the competitive nature of U.S.A. culture and anthropologists accept that aggressive competitive behavior is not only part of U.S. and North American culture, but is so integrated into it that it's almost the main blood of the culture as is. To remove the competitive nature of U.S. society would result in a near total change of its culture. Anthropologists claim this competitive nature to be a result of the Independent structure of familiar relations. This Independent way of life is detrimental in some aspects to a person's development of understanding and behavior. While it is well suited for an urban society in which wage labor is the primary source of income and survival, other societies around the world have managed to maintain a dependent structure of familiar relations. This often does not teach children and individuals to be competitive, but instead to be cooperative with each other. With less competition between individuals there is less of a presence of fighting occurring either within a certain group or between different groups. In history, it is often the societies that have cooperation within their culture that not only thrive, but last the longest. with such things as competitive sports, placement tests, and social classing present in schools today, it's no wonder children are growing up to be highly distrustful of others and be more likely to harbor illgotten feelings towards people who are different in any way or pose a threat of outperforming another individual.

-Some thoughts that kept me up a few nights ago. I question the reasoning most scientists use in discerning what is natural and what is supernatural. In my opinion, scientists are being selective in making decisions without giving thought to what is actually happening. I organized my thoughts on the topic into the short essay below.-

Science seeks to analyze and explain the natural word and its phenomena. It cannot analyze and explain supernatural phenomena. With this in mind, people of modern civilized nations around the world (mostly Western European and North American countries) have begun to depend on science to provide answers for life’s questions. But since science is limited in what it can analyze it cannot answer all things. Inevitably, science has provided answers to many questions ranging from topics of biology, geology, and physics, but for some things like the questions of the existence of gods, spirits, and E.S.P. (extra sensory perception) science has failed to make adequate attempts at reasoning why such things are not possible or do not exist. While these unanswered questions are deemed to be of supernatural origin, there is no clear line of distinction between the natural and the supernatural.

Take gravity as an example. Science claims it to be a natural force of physics yet it is not something we can actually see, smell, hear, or taste; only feel. Science bases its claims for the existence of gravity on simply the fact that we feel a downward force on our body and can witness the effects of this downward force on ourselves and other objects. With this method of reasoning in mind, let’s examine something science deems as supernatural; life force. Whether it’s called prana, chi, or something else, life force is something that is highly debated to exist. To science, it is something that cannot be analyzed and therefore supernatural. Yet there exist a multitude of situations that life force is said to be the root cause of. People who can control life force are said to be able to perform such feats as controlling the body’s natural reactions to pain and damage (turning off neurological pain receptors and controlling the body’s natural regenerative ability), as well as temperature (maintaining internal core temperature in extreme situations of hot and cold). These examples of bodily control are able to, and have been, analyzed by science. Scientists have noted that these feats do occur but have yet to provide a reason for how they occur. According to science, such feats as stopping the flow of blood to an open wound, being able to shove a blade through a section of the body and not feel or react to pain, or remain at normal body temperature while nude in an environment of -100 Fahrenheit should be impossible.

Such astounding feats as these are said to be the result of active meditation to improve the flow of energy through what Hindus and Buddhists call Chakra points. These Chakra points exist along a vast network of channels (similar to veins and nerves) known as the nadis, of which there are said to be 72,000 of (some ancient scriptures suggest 80,000, 200,000, or 300,000). Each nadi can affect the human body in a unique way. Some of these effects can be beneficial while others can be detrimental. It is the Hindu belief that prana (life force) flows through the nadis and through meditation you can channel prana through the nadis and the chakras. This concept of meditation is also present in Buddhism where the belief is held that allowing this energy to flow through the chakras will unlock dormant abilities to the mediator. These abilities are said to surpass normal expectations and limitations of human beings.

If people actively meditating are gaining these supernatural abilities, than would that not be evidence of the existence of life force or something like it? After all, there is no more evidence to support the existence of life force than there is for gravity; both are things that cannot be seen but the effects of such can be witnessed.

{Other subjects, related to life force, that deserve attention for study are: Yoga, Chi based martial arts like Tai Chi and Chi Kung, Feng Shui, and Acupuncture.}

Even though I don't celebrate holidays, one that I'm always keen to notice is Halloween. I probably first liked it because it was close to my birthday of October 23, as well as the chance for free addicting candy. Somewhere in all of that I started liking anything to do with death. This fascination eventually became a relative obsession as I eventually became an avid admirer of horror films, magic, ghosts, and anything that might possible be connected with death and the holiday so closely related to it. As I know now, the creation of Halloween came as an adaptation and shortening of All Hallows Evening; the day before All Saints day. With All Saints Day being a day to commemorate the catholic saints it never felt truly connected to Halloween. Really, All Souls Day, being celebrated the day after All Saints Day, has more in common with Halloween. On All Souls Day, people pay respect to the souls of the dead by leaving gifts as offerings at the grave sites of relatives and loved ones. These gifts often come in the form of confectionery sweets.

Although these three holidays are the ones celebrated most in modern times. It would be disrespectful to not mention the holidays the Catholic Church tried to destroy by creating All Saints Day and its respected companion days. All Saints Day was originally celebrated on May 13 and not November 1. But before All Saints Day was created, there was the holiday of Lemuria; an old holiday celebrated by the Romans in which the dead was said to rise from their graves for some reason (I think to haunt their living relatives who did not honor them in death). In order to appease the spirits of the dead, people would pour milk onto the grave sites of their relatives or leave other offerings to the dead. Lemuria was celebrated on May 13 and was the original holiday the Catholic Church meant to stamp out with All Saints Day. It's however interesting to note the similarities between Lemuria and All Souls Day.

Another day commemorating the dead is the Celtic ritual, Samhain. Not much is truly known of Samhain other than it took place on or near October 31 and was a ritual meant to channel spirits. It is still unknown if this was to calm the dead or simply communicate with them. It should be noted that the expected day of Samhain is not long after the autumnal equinox. Perhaps the ritual is meant to have some significance with the coming of winter, much like the Norse ritual of Yule.

So i guess i have a journal now, i'm not sure what i'll be writing in here but i'm sure it'll be decent. making entries will probably be at random as i'm not much of a guy to keep a daily, weekly, or whatever diary. let's see what comes up in the future and hope it's worth reading.