Well, it's definitely summer in full swing out there... just hauled all my stuff to the room and I feel like I ran a marathon (and look like I swam a few laps... so moist... think it's time for a cool shower and a bit of letting the fan blow on me.

I am so glad I packed the chillsuit, I am really going to need it this weekend.

Yay! I am here!

And so my drive begins. In approximately 1 hour (possibly more, it is rush hour) I should arrive at the hotel. I haven't been this nervous and excited in a while.

Looking forward to meeting y'all!

Just two days before I leave for the convention...

...I can barely cap my nervous excitement! Just gotta get through the next few work days, then it's off to the wilds of Herndon!

Yay! Happy dragon is happy!

It would seem PurplePaws has finally made her way here and is now putting artwork online. As stated in a previous journal entry, she's been playing a game where someone would give her an animal and a profession, and then create artwork based upon those requests.

Check them out! They're fun! :)

I am finally building up my artwork collection.

I'm still blown away by Khatmedic's representation of my dragon. Such an amazing artist, I hope to commission more art from him in the future. If you haven't seen his stuff, you should do so now. You will not be disappointed!

A number of pictures that have been put up were done by PurplePaws, who hasn't created an account here yet but I've been pushing to have her do so. She's been doing a series of artworks recently where she asks for an animal and an occupation, and creates fun drawings from those suggestions. Hopefully when she gets her account made she can post her portfolio. The heavy metal rocking llama is hilarious...

I still can't believe it's a little over 2 weeks until the convention, I am just so excited! It's been so long since I've been to any convention, It's going to be a blast!

Ugh, how the heck did I get sucked into this whole "Pokemon GO" stuff? Am I that weak that I can't resist things like that? Ah well, at least I'm getting some exercise, so that's a plus.

On a positive note, I love my new gloves. Unfortunately the color palette won't work well with the suit, but they are very nice and will be handy for those moments I don't feel like putting the whole suit on. I'm also looking forward to seeing the final artwork for the commission I put in for a while back. The WIP images I've seen have been amazing, and I can only imagine how wonderful it's going to look when it's all done.

A little less than a month to go...

Rawr.

If my brain was hooked up to an oscilloscope right now, it would display a flat line.

Hurry up, August... get here quicker!

Status update for June 29th, 2016.

Status... quo.

August, hurry up and get here. Mundane life is... mundane.

It's Thursday, but it feels like a Monday.

That's f'd up.

I apologize for the slim pickings in journal entries over the few weeks. Work has been ramping up steadily and it's been difficult to do anything but that.

I got to see pictures of the new gloves which are close to completion. They're looking quite nice, and I think they're going to look fabulous once the claws have been attached. The crafter told me it would be the end of June when I receive them, and everything seems to be on track for that to happen.

Been looking at possible designs for the new head recently, and I'm thinking I may have to go way over budget in order to get what I want out of the head... but I believe it's going to be amazing. I have been looking at setting up more movement in the face (mouth, eyes, ear flaps) and I think with some simple motors I may be able to accomplish that. I'm hoping I can rig something up with the fingers for the eyes and ears, and the mouth will be triggered with jaw movement. Of course, I'm really going to be testing my engineering skills to make this happen. This could all turn out to be a pipe dream, but I'm gonna continue dreaming it, dang it.

Dream big, that's my mantra right now.

Heart is so heavy after the horrible atrocity which occurred in Orlando.

Be sure to tell your loved ones that you love them, and show them you care.

Be safe, y'all.

Status update:

Still waiting for the new hands to be completed, I am eagerly waiting to see the finished product and get my grubby little claws on them. If the quality is as good as claimed, I will be getting new feet as well. The ones I have for the suit can be rather clunky at times, as they are huge, and something that would allow better mobility would definitely be a good choice. Plus giving them a little better shape I think will overall improve the look.

Aside from that, just working my tail off trying to save up some cash for the dealer's room...

There are days that I feel like a complete fraud.

I am not.

That's all. I'm sure I can think of more, but that's it for now.

Big step today.

Came out to my family.

All of them were very supportive.

I didn't cry.

Joy.

The closer the convention gets, the more excited I become. I am really looking forward to seeing all the different fur suits that are going to be there.

New claws coming soon, hope they match the suit. They are going to be much more detailed than the ones I have currently. Plus they're going to be form fitted, so they'll be a lot more comfortable and less apt to slip. Even if they don't, they'll be perfect for those times when I need to take the suit off. I haven't settled on feet yet, but I have options.

Anyways, things have been going alright for me, been taking a day to just relax and kick back, since it's going to be a busy weekend. Gotta stretch my wings and fly all over, so I'm gonna need as much energy as I can get. Anyways, I'll be back for updates in a few days.

Ten entries in one journal... so far this is the most consistent I've even been when it comes to updating a journal. For some reason, whatever it may be, I feel motivated to post here and share. It's nice to feel comfortable in one's skin (or scales, as the case may be).

I've decided to break out my keyboard again and start playing and composing. I played quite regularly back in the 90s, and played with a group for several years. Unfortunately, nothing ever came from it, but I still have fond memories of banging on the keys and improvising for hours on end... I wish I had copies of the recordings from those sessions, but those appear to have been lost to the ages. At this point, I'm sure my fingers are so rusty that it's going to take a while to "get back into the grove" again, but I'm not going to let that stop me.

I tried drawing the other night, inspired by some of the fabulous images I've been seeing here... I think I'll stick to music for now. ;)

Also, I still promise to get the "Suit Up" video done, as requested a while back. I'm still having to deal with a lot of mundane reality so I can't say for sure when I'll be able to get it done, but I made a promise, and I intend to keep it.

Y'all have a great day!

I finally got my grubby little talons on the original concept artwork!

I have joy.

I'm still waiting for the images, which apparently have been archived on a DVD somewhere, but it sounds like I'm much closer to getting those original concepts... I await with baited breath... oh wait, I just forgot to brush my teeth this morning. Running on 3 hours of sleep and going back to work on from a holiday weekend, it's thrown me a bit out of whack.

I'm still trying to figure out logistics on how to redo the suit. I'm thinking the wings are going to be the most difficult part. I want them to extend out much farther than the ones on the current suit, and I also would like for them not to lay flat against the suit. I know that's going to probably require some kind of harness under the suit to make it work right. I have seen the pvc/string method for movement if I chose to go that route, but I think that would be a bit clumsy. I'll keep thinking and talking to the pros.

As for my journal entries here, I seem to have turned this into almost a LiveJournal type deal, hope y'all don't mind. This has been pretty cathartic for me, and I know it's not the most visited journal on the Internet, but it's been a pretty comfortable outlet for me.

Thanks for listening. :)

So, I *did* receive a call back from that ancient number regarding the original concept art for the dragon suit. She left a message for me asking to call her back, requesting a bit more information about it (she remembered the costume, wanted to see if she could get dates for a bit more research). I called her back, and left her a message with hopefully all the correct information about it, so wheels are in motion here. It sound promising!

I've been actively researching quality artists for the new character reference sheet, but I haven't been able to choose which I like the best. I'm still open to recommendations from people here as I'm sure you all know some quality people.

Yesterday was a bit crazy. I finally came out to my wife. We have been separated for a while, and things had been going down hill for quite some time before that. There were a lot of tears on both sides, and a lot of emotions from both of us. Ultimately, I think we are both now in a state of understanding, and now we can both be happier in the long run.

Now, back to more researching.

So, I've decided to update my suit. I love it dearly, and will still bring it out on a somewhat regular basis, but I want to add features to it which the suit won't allow, so I plan on building a new one. I am hoping get one one designed that has the capacity for mouth movement, so I can get it to "talk". I also want to update the legs to give it a more animalistic form, and perhaps the arms and shoulders as well. The wings... I definitely want to increase their size. I'd love for them to have full range movement, but I certainly don't have the engineering capability to do so currently.

I'm hoping to commission a bunch of artists for some very high quality pictures and images that I can use to remodel the suit (with complete compensation for the work, naturally.) Basically, I would like for them to review my current suit and improve on the detail and design of its shape, and draw a reference sheet based upon my ideas and changes. I've tried to find the original concept drawings from the first suit. Unfortunately, it appears that I lost them in my last move. I would call the company that made the suit and have them resend them to me, but the company has long since shut their doors. I have one last resort, which is an ancient e-mail from when I first got the suit. I've sent out the request, so fingers crossed...

Anyways, I've started trying to lose a bit of weight as well... I've started a very steady regimen of water and reduced my portion intake. I had been eating far too much junk and nowhere near enough greens. I'm reminded of the old "Bloom County" cartoon where the doctor says to the patient "Your body is poop". Yup. I'm working on it, Doc. I walk every weekday because of the commute to my job, probably about 2 miles a day at most, though I've been pretty sedentary on the weekends. On a happy note, I have been cigarette/cigar free for over a year now, I have been vaping since and I'm slowly stepping down the nicotine levels. There has been improvement, but there's still plenty to do. I want to fit into the suit comfortably come August, when I get to meet you all. Please don't mind my social awkwardness, please. I'm still getting... used to who I am.

Anyways, if any of you have someone you think is the best character reference sheet designer, please pass along their information, and if you think you are the best, I'd love to hear from you. I fully intend to monetarily compensate for any designs. Please let me know, I'm doing as much research as I can, and any input would be helpful!

Thanks!

So, I've received my first request from the community, someone has asked me to make a Suit Up video. I've never done one of these before, so I'm already breaking new groud. I'm really excited! I'm still trying to figure out the logistics for doing this, but I'm certain I can make this happen.

Step one, find a camera and a tripod... easier said than done currently.

I also want to say thank you to all the people that have been contacting me and being so supportive. I know I've finally made the right choice in joining you all.

So, since FAU is going to be local for me, I've decided to reserve a room and get a badge. This will be my first convention in over a decade.

Time to start getting into shape so I can fit better into my suit.

Looking forward to meeting you folks. I'm very excited! The dragon is getting out again!

Hello, folks.

I had such a twisted night lasted night. There was way too much gin (which I'm paying for today, holy hell what a hangover I've got right now). I dragged my sorry ass to bed, watched the ceiling spin, and just pondered the existence of self. There's been a lot of turmoil in my life over the last few years, and it's been weighing heavily on me. I let things slip out of control, and I've hurt way too many people emotionally because of it.

I was lucky enough last night to have a friend who was willing to listen to me last night. He indulged me in wonderful ways while I spoke drunkedly frank about things I wanted to do and was willing to do, and then it hit me.

I'm gay.

I've been in the closet for most of my life... too afraid to admit it. No, I was a straight male and I liked women and that was what I was supposed to do, anything else was an abomination and that was the way it was.

In the back of my mind, however, I dreamed of male on male sex, suckling phalli, being penetrated...

So, here you have it.

I'm Brad, and I'm proud to announce that I am a big gay silver dragon.

Thanks for listening.

Sheesh, I've only been using computers for the last 40 years, and I'm failing on uploading pictures to a site. I'll get something up later when I'm not supposed to be working.

Yep. Bad dragon, no biscuit.

(edit) Finally, I have been able to successfully get a picture online. I hope you enjoy, and I definitely plan on having many more.

So, I've decided to actually try keeping a journal now to document my next step in my evolution.

There have been a number of changes in my life over the past year. Relationships have crumbled, many of my favorite performers have passed over the rainbow bridge, I lost a sweet and wonderful doggie after having him in my family for several years, 2016 hasn't been the kindest year on record.

I am thankful for having a decent job which pays the bills and keeps me off the streets, I am also thankful for finally allowing myself to accept the fact that, while I play a human in the mundane world, that yes, there's a dragon in me that's finally going to get out there and do what he likes.

I am not thankful for the bad habits I've accrued over the years, but I'm working to change those habits. Going to lose some weight. Going to get more buff... to quote Kevin Spacey from American Beauty, "I want to look good naked." I want to get more healthy and be more active. I make these claims because I need to be a better me.

I also plan to reach out more, be a part of this community that I believe is the perfect fit for me.

I know these are just words right now, but I am going to put it to action.

Look out, world, Here comes Brad, the silver dragon.