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Posted 7 years agoSorry that I've not been around. I've literally had a few things go on.
I need to get this out there more for me then anything.
I'm not looking for anything then to explain my side.
August I watched one of my friends slowly die of cancer. He meant a lot to me. I told people that this was happening.
And I stood back in a lot of things but stilled helped people when I could. But then he died September 2nd 2017.
I was told his funeral and stuff was on this day only to find out it wasn't on that day but had already happened.
So that killed me because I felt like I'd failed in being a good friend.
His wife followed two weeks later. And I was also friends with her, and they meant a lot to me.
I wasn't told where her funeral or anything was going to be. So I couldn't say good byes or make my peace.
My grandma followed about 10 days later.
don died sept 2nd
trish sept 25thish
grandma oct 15th.
I had friends everywhere who always said if i needed them to go to them. Some i went too, and they didnt care. Others i went to and i got told off because i dont know how to ask for help. And a few i literally ruined cause my emotions got the better of me and i snapped because i couldn't take it.
Others literally just stopped talking to me even when i tried to apologize.
I had 2 friends on fb check in on me a lot.
and then i had 4-6 on my discord making sure i was alright through this process as they'd never seen me so bad off before.
and a spattering on other platforms and they were usually people that understood a few things as they had similar things or mutually knew what i was going through on some degree.
I admit there were times i vented on my discord as its mostly filled with friends i game with more than anything related to streaming and so on.
I vented about a few peoples actions because i got so upset and in a manic episode i needed to vent.
When i did so i didnt name names, i was referring to 5 people. it may seemed like a few but when you're going through that stuff there will always be multiple people who do the same thing. And the people i was venting too who were in chat were talking to me while i typed.
I literally wanted to hurt not only myself but everything around me. And my therapist in the past always told me to talk to someone and yeah it wasn't in a private message.
But i couldn't think straight i wanted to hurt myself, my cat, my home.
I suffer from borderline personality disorder. One of those things that has the worst name that has nothing to do with what it is.
Here are some fo the diagnostic criteria of what i have to help you understand what it is that i have.
And i got it from the https://www.borderlinepersonalitydi.....m/what-is-bpd/
Diagnostic Criteria
A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self image and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
1. Fear of abandonment
2. Unstable or changing relationships
3. Unstable self-image; struggles with identity or sense of self
4. Impulsive or self-damaging behaviors (e.g., excessive spending, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).
5. Suicidal behavior or self-injury <-- in this case i dont eat much.
6. Varied or random mood swings
7. Constant feelings of worthlessness or sadness
8. Problems with anger, including frequent loss of temper or physical fights
9. Stress-related paranoia or loss of contact with reality
I deal with most of these as I do have this disorder. At the time I didn't even have a therapist and was trying to get one since july of 2017. I got one in january of 2018. That's how long the process took.
But back to what i was saying. I literally was saying that i was in a state of mind that i just couldn't distract myself like i had done up until then. i wanted to hurt myself. i dont try and get into those mind frames a lot cause i distract myself so well.
I fake it till i make it a lot. slap on that happy smile and walk on like nothing is wrong. But when you feel like you want to hurt everyone and everything in your own home it scared me. I vented and i fucking vented. but i never named names. the people i vented too didnt know anyone i was talking about. only people who knew what was going on was the ones that had gotten me into that state of mind who happened to be there at the time watching me typing. I left a community because i was ashamed of myself for blowing up in a time of weakness and need. I felt ashamed that i had put a lot of time into some people and they showed me their true colours.
I needed help and when i tried it came out badly. not for just me but for many people.
to some of the people i apologized and others i couldn't cause they made it hard. I lost some friends i had for many years because it felt like every time i was talking to them i was apologizing and for someone with my mental health issue on top of depression and anxiety it just wasn't something i could deal with as id beat myself over and over over something i tried to fix and it left me feeling like they didnt care.
I felt like i was on the wall of shame group chat for something i couldn't really control as i was hurting and in this constant cycle of never ending pain and no one to talk about it without being judged and then finally when i couldn't take it i blew up and it blew up in my face.
I am only just getting over some of the hurt that i received from my friends in different communities that I've known for a long time. not only did i lose 3 people that meant a lot to me. I lost at least 10 good people.
so lucky number 13.
I only started talking about it now because i was still too emotional to put it into words. I feel bad for what i did. but at the same time i didn't have anyone to talk to about anything really. after the blow up where i vented instead of hurting my self or anyone i just dove into games deep and hard and faked being happy. I realize that now i was in a lot of one sided friendships and that hurts.
But what can you do? I know some of you are going to tell me i'm crazy or that i'm a bad person. But i needed to get this off my chest as i needed to do this for myself.
i dont care about being on the wall of shame which was a thing in some communities i was in. I dont care what people think of me in those communities any more. I'm going to be trying to constantly better myself while surrounding myself with better people.
I shouldn't be guilted into feeling like i have to apologize every time i talk to someone. I shouldn't feel like if i finally ask for help to those who said i could go to them for anything like i'll be thrown to the curb.
I only ever wanted understanding and equality in a friendship. I may not ask for help sometimes and when i do i know it can be overwhelming but please tell me so i can slow it down. but if i come to you it is a sign i find you able to go through my barriers and are a trusted person.
This was long overdue and needed to be said for me.
I lost 3 people. And my family wasn't being kosher to myself my sister or my mom when grandma died so there was the added drama of that as well.
it hasn't been the best of times for me mentally and i know that and i'm trying to fix it.
and thats why i'm happy to finally have a therapist, that i'm finally getting into a dialectical behavior class again to help manage my bpd again.
With having bpd its an on going thing. there isn't a fix all pill. No its constant hard work and constant self analyzing myself to better myself.
so i hope this makes a little sense to those who saw me just poof from everything. or get kicked from game groups.
Or on the wall o shame.
or when i asked to for you to look for something for me.
And thank you to those who did what they could to make sure i was alright.
I hate feeling like i'm constantly abandoned when ive lost someone.
And i realized this to be a thing because i lost my friends mom who meant a lot to me and that i started to feel abandoned because she left this plane.
it made me understand a lot. and i get to talk with my therapist tomorrow about it.
So i am sorry for the drama you had to see if you were indirectly involved by parties who knew me.
I'm sorry for the few blow ups i had due to this. and i'm sorry.
I hope you can understand and let me move on with a lighter heart.
just.. please i dont need any more things coming from this situation. I needed to do this for me. I'm not attacking or anything just explaining myself.
I need to get this out there more for me then anything.
I'm not looking for anything then to explain my side.
August I watched one of my friends slowly die of cancer. He meant a lot to me. I told people that this was happening.
And I stood back in a lot of things but stilled helped people when I could. But then he died September 2nd 2017.
I was told his funeral and stuff was on this day only to find out it wasn't on that day but had already happened.
So that killed me because I felt like I'd failed in being a good friend.
His wife followed two weeks later. And I was also friends with her, and they meant a lot to me.
I wasn't told where her funeral or anything was going to be. So I couldn't say good byes or make my peace.
My grandma followed about 10 days later.
don died sept 2nd
trish sept 25thish
grandma oct 15th.
I had friends everywhere who always said if i needed them to go to them. Some i went too, and they didnt care. Others i went to and i got told off because i dont know how to ask for help. And a few i literally ruined cause my emotions got the better of me and i snapped because i couldn't take it.
Others literally just stopped talking to me even when i tried to apologize.
I had 2 friends on fb check in on me a lot.
and then i had 4-6 on my discord making sure i was alright through this process as they'd never seen me so bad off before.
and a spattering on other platforms and they were usually people that understood a few things as they had similar things or mutually knew what i was going through on some degree.
I admit there were times i vented on my discord as its mostly filled with friends i game with more than anything related to streaming and so on.
I vented about a few peoples actions because i got so upset and in a manic episode i needed to vent.
When i did so i didnt name names, i was referring to 5 people. it may seemed like a few but when you're going through that stuff there will always be multiple people who do the same thing. And the people i was venting too who were in chat were talking to me while i typed.
I literally wanted to hurt not only myself but everything around me. And my therapist in the past always told me to talk to someone and yeah it wasn't in a private message.
But i couldn't think straight i wanted to hurt myself, my cat, my home.
I suffer from borderline personality disorder. One of those things that has the worst name that has nothing to do with what it is.
Here are some fo the diagnostic criteria of what i have to help you understand what it is that i have.
And i got it from the https://www.borderlinepersonalitydi.....m/what-is-bpd/
Diagnostic Criteria
A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self image and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
1. Fear of abandonment
2. Unstable or changing relationships
3. Unstable self-image; struggles with identity or sense of self
4. Impulsive or self-damaging behaviors (e.g., excessive spending, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).
5. Suicidal behavior or self-injury <-- in this case i dont eat much.
6. Varied or random mood swings
7. Constant feelings of worthlessness or sadness
8. Problems with anger, including frequent loss of temper or physical fights
9. Stress-related paranoia or loss of contact with reality
I deal with most of these as I do have this disorder. At the time I didn't even have a therapist and was trying to get one since july of 2017. I got one in january of 2018. That's how long the process took.
But back to what i was saying. I literally was saying that i was in a state of mind that i just couldn't distract myself like i had done up until then. i wanted to hurt myself. i dont try and get into those mind frames a lot cause i distract myself so well.
I fake it till i make it a lot. slap on that happy smile and walk on like nothing is wrong. But when you feel like you want to hurt everyone and everything in your own home it scared me. I vented and i fucking vented. but i never named names. the people i vented too didnt know anyone i was talking about. only people who knew what was going on was the ones that had gotten me into that state of mind who happened to be there at the time watching me typing. I left a community because i was ashamed of myself for blowing up in a time of weakness and need. I felt ashamed that i had put a lot of time into some people and they showed me their true colours.
I needed help and when i tried it came out badly. not for just me but for many people.
to some of the people i apologized and others i couldn't cause they made it hard. I lost some friends i had for many years because it felt like every time i was talking to them i was apologizing and for someone with my mental health issue on top of depression and anxiety it just wasn't something i could deal with as id beat myself over and over over something i tried to fix and it left me feeling like they didnt care.
I felt like i was on the wall of shame group chat for something i couldn't really control as i was hurting and in this constant cycle of never ending pain and no one to talk about it without being judged and then finally when i couldn't take it i blew up and it blew up in my face.
I am only just getting over some of the hurt that i received from my friends in different communities that I've known for a long time. not only did i lose 3 people that meant a lot to me. I lost at least 10 good people.
so lucky number 13.
I only started talking about it now because i was still too emotional to put it into words. I feel bad for what i did. but at the same time i didn't have anyone to talk to about anything really. after the blow up where i vented instead of hurting my self or anyone i just dove into games deep and hard and faked being happy. I realize that now i was in a lot of one sided friendships and that hurts.
But what can you do? I know some of you are going to tell me i'm crazy or that i'm a bad person. But i needed to get this off my chest as i needed to do this for myself.
i dont care about being on the wall of shame which was a thing in some communities i was in. I dont care what people think of me in those communities any more. I'm going to be trying to constantly better myself while surrounding myself with better people.
I shouldn't be guilted into feeling like i have to apologize every time i talk to someone. I shouldn't feel like if i finally ask for help to those who said i could go to them for anything like i'll be thrown to the curb.
I only ever wanted understanding and equality in a friendship. I may not ask for help sometimes and when i do i know it can be overwhelming but please tell me so i can slow it down. but if i come to you it is a sign i find you able to go through my barriers and are a trusted person.
This was long overdue and needed to be said for me.
I lost 3 people. And my family wasn't being kosher to myself my sister or my mom when grandma died so there was the added drama of that as well.
it hasn't been the best of times for me mentally and i know that and i'm trying to fix it.
and thats why i'm happy to finally have a therapist, that i'm finally getting into a dialectical behavior class again to help manage my bpd again.
With having bpd its an on going thing. there isn't a fix all pill. No its constant hard work and constant self analyzing myself to better myself.
so i hope this makes a little sense to those who saw me just poof from everything. or get kicked from game groups.
Or on the wall o shame.
or when i asked to for you to look for something for me.
And thank you to those who did what they could to make sure i was alright.
I hate feeling like i'm constantly abandoned when ive lost someone.
And i realized this to be a thing because i lost my friends mom who meant a lot to me and that i started to feel abandoned because she left this plane.
it made me understand a lot. and i get to talk with my therapist tomorrow about it.
So i am sorry for the drama you had to see if you were indirectly involved by parties who knew me.
I'm sorry for the few blow ups i had due to this. and i'm sorry.
I hope you can understand and let me move on with a lighter heart.
just.. please i dont need any more things coming from this situation. I needed to do this for me. I'm not attacking or anything just explaining myself.
sorry
Posted 8 years agoI'm sorry I've been so bad with contact.
Whether its my living with the inlaws, or in my own place with my fiance I've been distant.
I am distant for many reasons and i feel like i must try to put it to words so that people can maybe hopefully understand why?
i'm terrible if it isn't instant messaging. i forget about PM's and texting. i honestly hate pming cause when i'm talking about something and i come back to it when able i just dont want to talk about that subject any more..
I'm not the greatest with controlling my borderline. No, I'm knot getting the proper help as vernon is full and there is a huge waiting list for help.
I have troubles with interpersonal relationship skills and my anxiety doesn't help in that area either.
I feel like i dont connect with many people and when i do i may become too clingy as is one of the traits i deal with from bpd.
I dont feel like i'm able to connect with people on a proper level and sometimes i feel like i'm an outsider looking in a lot of the time and feel like i'm bothering people because of the feelings i've been getting off of people. dunno if thats a lot of internalizing or a combination of a few things but just how i feel.
If i feel like things are totally awkward with myself and another person after trying to reestablish connection i will withdraw and feel like i fucked up once again. Again another stupid side effect.
i've been going through a lot when it comes to shit that triggers both my bpd and my depression which leads me into this viscous cycle thats hard to escape from. i've been dealing with loss, changes, death, and a few other things and i just can't seem to get a break from it. i'm beginning to learn more and more who my friends are and who is there.
i'm having to accept that one of my friends is sick and shit.. i dont want to loose one of my friends that i talk to and see on the regular. it kills me that he's in so much pain and i can't do anything but be there. i want to fix it but i can't. i can't take away the cancer i can't take the pain away. but i can go and visit when i know there isn't anything going on because it makes his day knowing that he's got friends and family who are there for him, and i'm glad to put a smile on his face and make things better. but i have accepted that this year isn't the best for me when it comes to loosing loved ones and friends.
I learned that another one of my friends is going through something similar and i'll be loosing them too..
I'm dealing with it the best i can and please understand that i'm not 'bothering' you by messaging because i dont want to be constantly the downer and so on. i just sometimes want to see how you're doing and have you know i haven't forgotten you and i'm reaching out the best way i can asking how you're doing.
Im just dealing with a lot of loss right now guys. please bear with me.. i'm doing the best i can when able. Just dont forget me?
Whether its my living with the inlaws, or in my own place with my fiance I've been distant.
I am distant for many reasons and i feel like i must try to put it to words so that people can maybe hopefully understand why?
i'm terrible if it isn't instant messaging. i forget about PM's and texting. i honestly hate pming cause when i'm talking about something and i come back to it when able i just dont want to talk about that subject any more..
I'm not the greatest with controlling my borderline. No, I'm knot getting the proper help as vernon is full and there is a huge waiting list for help.
I have troubles with interpersonal relationship skills and my anxiety doesn't help in that area either.
I feel like i dont connect with many people and when i do i may become too clingy as is one of the traits i deal with from bpd.
I dont feel like i'm able to connect with people on a proper level and sometimes i feel like i'm an outsider looking in a lot of the time and feel like i'm bothering people because of the feelings i've been getting off of people. dunno if thats a lot of internalizing or a combination of a few things but just how i feel.
If i feel like things are totally awkward with myself and another person after trying to reestablish connection i will withdraw and feel like i fucked up once again. Again another stupid side effect.
i've been going through a lot when it comes to shit that triggers both my bpd and my depression which leads me into this viscous cycle thats hard to escape from. i've been dealing with loss, changes, death, and a few other things and i just can't seem to get a break from it. i'm beginning to learn more and more who my friends are and who is there.
i'm having to accept that one of my friends is sick and shit.. i dont want to loose one of my friends that i talk to and see on the regular. it kills me that he's in so much pain and i can't do anything but be there. i want to fix it but i can't. i can't take away the cancer i can't take the pain away. but i can go and visit when i know there isn't anything going on because it makes his day knowing that he's got friends and family who are there for him, and i'm glad to put a smile on his face and make things better. but i have accepted that this year isn't the best for me when it comes to loosing loved ones and friends.
I learned that another one of my friends is going through something similar and i'll be loosing them too..
I'm dealing with it the best i can and please understand that i'm not 'bothering' you by messaging because i dont want to be constantly the downer and so on. i just sometimes want to see how you're doing and have you know i haven't forgotten you and i'm reaching out the best way i can asking how you're doing.
Im just dealing with a lot of loss right now guys. please bear with me.. i'm doing the best i can when able. Just dont forget me?
No Subject
Posted 9 years agoHey guys I just wanted to let you guys know that today at 8am pacific I'll be raising money for the BC Children's hospital.
I have in the past when i was a child I've used their services for my depression, for when i couldn't walk without it hurting (because apparently my leg grew too fast and the muscle over my knee didn't grow fast enough)
Or the time my sister was beaten up in a swarming incident with 3 other girls.
I know that they have helped my nieces and nephews many a time over and i do this for them.
I do this for all of my friends and families and even STRANGERS because i want to give back to the children that have worse times then what i had to go through. I want to make sure that these kids and even families get the help that they deserve. These children face cancers, premature birth or other fatal illnesses. Lets work together as a team and make sure the children and families get the help they deserve! So my War Mews lets do this!
http://www.extra-life.org/participant/msshinra
You can watch me here at liv now to keep me going as i haven't slept yet as i was too anxious to go to sleep!
https://www.twitch.tv/msshinra
Thank you from the bottom of my heart
Ms Shinra
I have in the past when i was a child I've used their services for my depression, for when i couldn't walk without it hurting (because apparently my leg grew too fast and the muscle over my knee didn't grow fast enough)
Or the time my sister was beaten up in a swarming incident with 3 other girls.
I know that they have helped my nieces and nephews many a time over and i do this for them.
I do this for all of my friends and families and even STRANGERS because i want to give back to the children that have worse times then what i had to go through. I want to make sure that these kids and even families get the help that they deserve. These children face cancers, premature birth or other fatal illnesses. Lets work together as a team and make sure the children and families get the help they deserve! So my War Mews lets do this!
http://www.extra-life.org/participant/msshinra
You can watch me here at liv now to keep me going as i haven't slept yet as i was too anxious to go to sleep!
https://www.twitch.tv/msshinra
Thank you from the bottom of my heart
Ms Shinra
Hey there emergency commissions post for a friend
Posted 9 years agoA friend is having health issues and isn't getting shifts at work. if you're able to help go see his journal ^^
Thanks :D1
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7879765/
Thanks :D1
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7879765/
A fellow artist is in need
Posted 9 years agohttp://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7800726/
help with anything you can as her her doggy has a urine problem called Pyometra and needs help with anything you can even if its a journal.
help with anything you can as her her doggy has a urine problem called Pyometra and needs help with anything you can even if its a journal.
commissions
Posted 9 years agoI'm going to be learning how to use my tablet so i'm opening head sketches!
so they're going to be 5$ USD. They'll look like this
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/20537961/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/20464313/
I'd like the practice and try and learn how to do all the different types of furry heads as i can :)
I dont use guides i just use free hand..
I hope you like it :)
Also if you're looking for an adoptable this Batcoon is for sale
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/19546908/
I'm saving money to be helping me with paying off bills and stuff :)
Hopefully you like what you see :)
Thank youse
Ms Shinra
so they're going to be 5$ USD. They'll look like this
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/20537961/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/20464313/
I'd like the practice and try and learn how to do all the different types of furry heads as i can :)
I dont use guides i just use free hand..
I hope you like it :)
Also if you're looking for an adoptable this Batcoon is for sale
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/19546908/
I'm saving money to be helping me with paying off bills and stuff :)
Hopefully you like what you see :)
Thank youse
Ms Shinra
PWYW stream
Posted 9 years agoI'm trying to save up for an art tablet so that i can do my own colourings and not have eraser bits around when i'm streaming :)
come join me :) https://www.twitch.tv/msshinra
Sorry its on twitch its where i stream normally and its easier to use for me at this point in time :)
ps.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/19546908/ <-- s/he is still for sale :)
come join me :) https://www.twitch.tv/msshinra
Sorry its on twitch its where i stream normally and its easier to use for me at this point in time :)
ps.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/19546908/ <-- s/he is still for sale :)
PWYW stream
Posted 9 years agoSo I will be streaming PWYW from monday-sat 7pm pacific, so come by and help out. I'm in need of 250$ for bills and that isn't including rent or what i need for march.
I wasn't able to get my government cheque and i'm trying to fundraise by doing pwyw to get some bills paid off and stuff.. So if you could help me that would be great!
If interested NOTE me what you want and i'll get to everyone as i can :)
And i'll be sending invoices to those who want to pay. If you want to stay and keep me company that'd be cool do, and there might be a few freebies given out!
STREAM WILL BE HERE: http://www.twitch.tv/msshinra
If you want it coloured it can be done digitally from a friend of mine
free of charge :)
Order Form
1) refs
2) colour or no colour
3) email to send invoice
Here are some examples from my commissions list:
http://www.furaffinity.net/gallery/.....25/commissions
I wasn't able to get my government cheque and i'm trying to fundraise by doing pwyw to get some bills paid off and stuff.. So if you could help me that would be great!
If interested NOTE me what you want and i'll get to everyone as i can :)
And i'll be sending invoices to those who want to pay. If you want to stay and keep me company that'd be cool do, and there might be a few freebies given out!
STREAM WILL BE HERE: http://www.twitch.tv/msshinra
If you want it coloured it can be done digitally from a friend of mine
free of charge :)Order Form
1) refs
2) colour or no colour
3) email to send invoice
Here are some examples from my commissions list:
http://www.furaffinity.net/gallery/.....25/commissions
PWYW stream still going! i
Posted 9 years agoits been 9h and i'm still going! Come by and say hi or grab something :D
www.twitch.tv/msshinra
www.twitch.tv/msshinra
PWYW STREAM UPDATE and bad news
Posted 9 years agoSo I will be streaming PWYW from monday-sat 7pm pacific, so come by and help out. I'm in need of 250$ for bills and that isn't including rent or what i need for march.
I wasn't able to get my government cheque and i'm trying to fundraise by doing pwyw to get some bills paid off and stuff.. So if you could help me that would be great!
If interested NOTE me what you want and i'll get to everyone as i can :)
And i'll be sending invoices to those who want to pay. If you want to stay and keep me company that'd be cool do, and there might be a few freebies given out!
I stream at 7pm pacific unless otherwise stated on my twitter https://twitter.com/MsShinra
STREAM WILL BE HERE: http://www.twitch.tv/msshinra
If you want it coloured it can be done digitally from a friend of mine free of charge :)
Order Form
1) refs
2) colour or no colour
3) email to send invoice
Here are some examples from my commissions list:
http://www.furaffinity.net/gallery/.....25/commissions
Bad news
I have been trying to get in touch with my blood father and i found out online in an obituary that he died in 2002....
so that sucks... i wanted to know where i came from and all this other stuff... but it sucks
So now to try and find my half brother.
Thank you for the help by either sharing or coming to show support!
Also, when my wrist starts to hurt i will be going and plying a game instead since i stream on twitch in 8h blocks!
Thank you so much
MsShinra
I wasn't able to get my government cheque and i'm trying to fundraise by doing pwyw to get some bills paid off and stuff.. So if you could help me that would be great!
If interested NOTE me what you want and i'll get to everyone as i can :)
And i'll be sending invoices to those who want to pay. If you want to stay and keep me company that'd be cool do, and there might be a few freebies given out!
I stream at 7pm pacific unless otherwise stated on my twitter https://twitter.com/MsShinra
STREAM WILL BE HERE: http://www.twitch.tv/msshinra
If you want it coloured it can be done digitally from a friend of mine
free of charge :)Order Form
1) refs
2) colour or no colour
3) email to send invoice
Here are some examples from my commissions list:
http://www.furaffinity.net/gallery/.....25/commissions
Bad news
I have been trying to get in touch with my blood father and i found out online in an obituary that he died in 2002....
so that sucks... i wanted to know where i came from and all this other stuff... but it sucks
So now to try and find my half brother.
Thank you for the help by either sharing or coming to show support!
Also, when my wrist starts to hurt i will be going and plying a game instead since i stream on twitch in 8h blocks!
Thank you so much
MsShinra
Commissions are open
Posted 9 years agoMy commissions are open. I'm still learning how to draw and i really need to raise money for bills and rent seeing as I wasn't able to get my government cheque and i'm trying to fundraise by doing pwyw to get rent and bills paid off and stuff.. So if you could help me that would be great!
If interested NOTE me what you want and i'll get to everyone as i can :)
And i'll be sending invoices to those who want to pay. If you want to stay and keep me company that'd be cool do, and there might be a few freebies given out!
If you want it coloured it can be done digitally from a friend of mine free of charge :)
Order Form
1) refs
2) colour or no colour
3) email to send invoice
Here are some of the things that I've done drawing wise with colouring
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18982579/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18976168/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18975615/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18975385/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18974979/
Thank you for the help by either sharing or coming to show support!
Also, when my wrist starts to hurt i will be going and plying a game instead since i stream on twitch in 8h blocks!
Thank you so much
MsShinra
If interested NOTE me what you want and i'll get to everyone as i can :)
And i'll be sending invoices to those who want to pay. If you want to stay and keep me company that'd be cool do, and there might be a few freebies given out!
If you want it coloured it can be done digitally from a friend of mine
free of charge :)Order Form
1) refs
2) colour or no colour
3) email to send invoice
Here are some of the things that I've done drawing wise with
colouringhttp://www.furaffinity.net/view/18982579/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18976168/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18975615/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18975385/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18974979/
Thank you for the help by either sharing or coming to show support!
Also, when my wrist starts to hurt i will be going and plying a game instead since i stream on twitch in 8h blocks!
Thank you so much
MsShinra
PWYW STREAM REMINDER!!!
Posted 9 years agoStreaming live here..
I wasn't able to get my government cheque and i'm trying to fundraise by doing pwyw to get some bills paid off and stuff.. So if you could help me that would be great!
If interested NOTE me what you want and i'll get to everyone as i can :)
And i'll be sending invoices to those who want to pay. If you want to stay and keep me company that'd be cool do, and there might be a few freebies given out!
http://www.twitch.tv/msshinra
If you want it coloured it can be done digitally from a friend of mine free of charge :)
Order Form
1) refs
2) colour or no colour
3) email to send invoice
Here are some of the things that I've done drawing wise with colouring
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18982579/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18976168/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18975615/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18975385/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18974979/
Thank you for the help by either sharing or coming to show support!
Also, when my wrist starts to hurt i will be going and plying a game instead since i stream on twitch in 8h blocks!
Thank you so much
MsShinra
I wasn't able to get my government cheque and i'm trying to fundraise by doing pwyw to get some bills paid off and stuff.. So if you could help me that would be great!
If interested NOTE me what you want and i'll get to everyone as i can :)
And i'll be sending invoices to those who want to pay. If you want to stay and keep me company that'd be cool do, and there might be a few freebies given out!
http://www.twitch.tv/msshinra
If you want it coloured it can be done digitally from a friend of mine
free of charge :)Order Form
1) refs
2) colour or no colour
3) email to send invoice
Here are some of the things that I've done drawing wise with
colouringhttp://www.furaffinity.net/view/18982579/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18976168/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18975615/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18975385/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18974979/
Thank you for the help by either sharing or coming to show support!
Also, when my wrist starts to hurt i will be going and plying a game instead since i stream on twitch in 8h blocks!
Thank you so much
MsShinra
PWYW STREAM!!
Posted 9 years agoStreaming live here..
I wasn't able to get my government cheque and i'm trying to fundraise by doing pwyw to get some bills paid off and stuff.. So if you could help me that would be great!
If interested NOTE me what you want and i'll get to everyone as i can :)
And i'll be sending invoices to those who want to pay. If you want to stay and keep me company that'd be cool do, and there might be a few freebies given out!
http://www.twitch.tv/msshinra
If you want it coloured it can be done digitally from a friend of mine free of charge :)
Order Form
1) refs
2) colour or no colour
3) email to send invoice
Here are some of the things that I've done drawing wise with colouring
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18982579/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18976168/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18975615/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18975385/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18974979/
Thank you for the help by either sharing or coming to show support!
Also, when my wrist starts to hurt i will be going and plying a game instead since i stream on twitch in 8h blocks!
Thank you so much
MsShinra
I wasn't able to get my government cheque and i'm trying to fundraise by doing pwyw to get some bills paid off and stuff.. So if you could help me that would be great!
If interested NOTE me what you want and i'll get to everyone as i can :)
And i'll be sending invoices to those who want to pay. If you want to stay and keep me company that'd be cool do, and there might be a few freebies given out!
http://www.twitch.tv/msshinra
If you want it coloured it can be done digitally from a friend of mine
free of charge :)Order Form
1) refs
2) colour or no colour
3) email to send invoice
Here are some of the things that I've done drawing wise with
colouringhttp://www.furaffinity.net/view/18982579/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18976168/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18975615/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18975385/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18974979/
Thank you for the help by either sharing or coming to show support!
Also, when my wrist starts to hurt i will be going and plying a game instead since i stream on twitch in 8h blocks!
Thank you so much
MsShinra
streaming ^^
Posted 9 years agostreaming
Posted 9 years ago[ENG] Khajit Rogue: http://www.twitch.tv/msshinra#8062
Streaming skyrim
Posted 10 years agoPLAYING A KHAJIT ON SKYRIM
http://www.twitch.tv/msshinra
http://www.twitch.tv/msshinra
MAd max stream :D
Posted 10 years agostreaming
Posted 10 years agoLIVE NOW AT http://www.twitch.tv/msshinra
PLAYING REMEMBER ME
PLAYING REMEMBER ME
STREAMING :D
Posted 10 years agoi'm starting a campaign on civ 5 :D
http://www.twitch.tv/msshinra
http://www.twitch.tv/msshinra
SHADOWS OF MORDOR
Posted 10 years agolive now streaming middle eareth shadows of mordor
http://www.twitch.tv/msshinra
http://www.twitch.tv/msshinra
streaming :D
Posted 10 years agofable :D
Posted 10 years agoSTREAMING FABLE ANNIVERSARY
Posted 10 years agolive now
Posted 10 years agoorcs must die :D
Posted 10 years agoWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!! ORCS MUST DIE!!
http://www.twitch.tv/msshinra
http://www.twitch.tv/msshinra
