Sorry I disappeared for a while...lots of crap going on. Firstly, and most importantly (especially to commissioners) my computer has gone down :( We think it's motherboard is fried...again. My desktop pc is my art computer (I'm on my tiny ibook g4 right now). If it's more than the mother board I may have lost all of my art that is not currently online :C . We're going to open it up today and pull my hard drive...hopefully it'll be ok. I don't know when it will be back up and running (it is a 10 year old computer-though the majority of it's components have been replaced over the years). We've had car drama costing us well over $1000 the last few months and then our dryer decided to give up the ghost as well last week (at least it's plenty warm enough to line dry our clothes):C...apparently I've offended everything electronic and mechanical that I own...I'll be around...but not sure when I'll be able to do art again (it shouldn't be too long though....I hope). I will be still working on commissions though! I always sketch them on paper first-so at least I'll be able to get everything to that stage. I can do traditional stuff too, but it'll have to be photographed...

I'm exhausted but somehow still running (it's 12:58 am here as I type)...I feel like I've worked non-stop the last week or so...but I also feel as if I've gotten absolutely nothing done :( Westley has resisted all napping during the day, but as a result, passes out around 5 pm...then waking up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at 7 pm...we eat dinner and he's going full speed until well after midnight. I cannot function on so little sleep with so much stress....uhhhhhgggg...I need some sort of child sleeping spell >_<

Do you like to commission art? Like my art? Like doing things for a good cause? Bid on a multi-artist charity auction featuring myself and many others to help Japan!!!! Go here : http://www.thedealersden.com/auction_details.php?name=Multiple-Artist-Charity-Auction-to-Benefit-Japan--Auction-3&auction_id=103832

Also see these other Japan benefit auctions, also featuring multiple artists!!! Go bid!!!

http://www.thedealersden.com/auctio.....tion_id=103822

http://www.thedealersden.com/auction_details.php?name=Multiple-Artist-Charity-Auction-to-Benefit-Japan--Auction-1&auction_id=103810

Ok...I keep battling with myself over this, so i thought I'd get some other opinions. Ok, I am going to attend an outdoor public event in costume (the Georgian Renaissance Festival). I plan to go in my tribal belly dance outfit (This is the general look I'm going for: http://images.tribe.net/tribe/uploa.....8-72337cc96bee ). Now, here's the question...I'm not tiny, but not gigantic or obese either...would it be terrible and gross if I showed some midriff? Or would people just think I was a poorly/inappropriately dressed slob/hoochie ? I tried covering my tummy up and I look like I have an extra 15-20lbs lbs of weight...though bare skinned I look slimmer. Here's me last year, for general size reference(though that vest does hold things in a teeny bit-but I didn't like it, it has been cannibalized) : http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5505173/ (though I do have a little bit of the horrible stretch marks :(

I'd love to meet some of the other furs down here and if anyone else might be thinking of going-you should!!! I'm headed up opening weekend (Apr 16-17) and will be there most likely sunday the 17th unless something changes. I'm going to be a dork and I'll be dressed up LOL...most likely sporting a tail as well :3 Opening weekend is buy one get one free on adult admission!!! That means only $10 per person if you have pairs or even numbers!!!

This is essentially a vent...please bear with me..

One of my friends told me she wanted to go the the Georgia Renaissance festival with me this year...that sounded great since it was usually just me, my hubby, my son and my mother. She even wanted to dress up! I was tickled at the idea! I always go dressed up as something :3 She originally said she'd make an outfit to wear...it turned into that i would help her...then it was I was going to do it all....for free. NO! I'm broke as hell and don't have the time or money to do that. Not to mention I'm still working on my own! Then she agreed to borrow from what I already have (which is a good bit seeing as I used to make something new each year). Now she has invited a bunch of other people I don't know (not an issue in and of itself one bit-I like meeting new people), but now she wants me to dress another girl...a complete stranger. She doesn't live near here and would have to just use what I brought if she wanted to wear something and she'd have to change in the car. Bad idea in my mind. I share, but not endlessly. I have made every costume item I own...I want them to last and be cared for properly-not wander off with a stranger. She even made us change the day we would go to accommodate these people. She's the only friend I have here locally and I see now why I sort of strayed from her after high school...this just sucks all around. It's going to ruin something I love to do at this rate..

Ok, so recently I've been thinking alot about Kusakawa...for whatever reason. I want to change some things about her...I know she looks most like an Eastern/Asian type dragon...but I don't really feel she's from that part of the world...I have dreams of her in caves with subterranean lakes and in the lush (but non-tropical) forest (think old growth hardwoods and lots of moss-lots of shaded ponds and springs)...she flies in the high mountains and in the clouds and mist. I already removed her whiskers (though she may still keep whiskers of a different form) and I may make her feet webbed (she is a swimmer as well as a flier). I absolutely adore wings, but I'm not sure if they suit her really and I don't think I'd want her to have them all the time...She is still very much a mammalian dragon...no laying eggs for her LOL. She eats mainly shellfish, fruits/some veggies and nuts as well as forest tidbits like mushrooms and berries. I do know I want to change her name as well...it just not the right name... So, what I'm asking, what do you all think about some of the changes I mentioned? What part of the world does it sound like she lives in? Can you think of something I could change that might suit her better?

Here she is...for reference: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2378051/

better late than never :3

I had an absolute blast! I was all nervous and anxious about being around so many people, but it didn't really bother me much at all. I met so many new people and I'm still trying to remember all the names :D I spent most of my time with my lovely roomates  leolightmane and  fur_elyse . They were both so sweet to put up with me ;p I also got to meet the sweet  quaylak and  jakejynx and spend much time bothering them at their table :3 I bugged the super fantastic  ahkahna too since she was conveniently next door LOL
I actually got to suit for a reasonable amount of time and really enjoyed it (until my goggles broke during the fursuit parade...fail). I was so happy to get so many comments on how much people loved it <3 I wish I had finished the feet in time, but there's always next year.
I didn't really get to go to any events, but that's not a biggie. I danced, I ran around like a derpy tard, drew a little and had a great time....that's what matters! I met SO MANY new people...I'm attempting to remember all the names!!! I'm going to be sure to be there next year and hope I have just as much fun!!!

I think this is important and I wanted to help spread the word!!!! Please join the effort to help Japan!!!! We need to step up as a community and help those in need! Please go here and see if you can help!: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/...../#cid:17770740

****PLEASE RE-POST TO SPREAD THE WORD!!!!****

I can feel the anxiety rising up inside me...I think I've been home for much too long. The idea of having no one to hide behind in a new place sort of freaks me out. I know there will be people there I know and it'll be a blast...but I'm still stressing something fierce! I hope it all goes smoothly and I have a great time :3 *tries to relax*

well, I give up on making a bottom part like I had planned for my half suit. I so wanted to have the whole lower half of me look all badgery...well, I made the padding and then the fur was cut and sewn. I tried it on and I just looked morbidly obese with a butt the size of a house. No way am I going anywhere like that (I may be a little pudgy-but I'm not really big, like I looked!). So, I'm going a different direction with my suit. I'm going to just make new slender small feet paws (based on a sock..sort of) and I have made very slender fitted paws with very short fur. It'll be a much more human-shaped anthro style, but still as close to realistic as I can do :3 Just need to cast the paw pads and make the feet...

So, I am making it concrete now, I WILL be at FWA this year. I was waffling a little for a while there, but now I am sure :3 I haven't been anywhere for more than a few hours by myself, literally, in years now. It's a little scary and overwhelming when I think about it, but I'll survive :p Also, I am finally catching up on things...a little. My hands still don't feel 100% and I have to work in bits rather than one long session. My eyes and hands won't cooperate for that anymore. SO, yeah, in summary, see you all at FWA, I can't wait!!!!

Ok, I'm still undecided on what kind of leg style to use for my partial (lower half of body will be fur...not pants...unless i run out of time/money). I can either do the shortened legs (like this: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5147025/ ) or normal legs (like this: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3988996/ )....I'm going for realistic, not toony. So, what do you all think ?

Ok, I'm trying to get started on even thinking up a plan to give the lower half of my fursuit the right "look: I'm planning on trying to make the legs look shorter and lowering the "crotch" area. Like in this pic: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5147025 I figure someone has done the same sort of legs before-like on a bear suit or a ferret suit maybe. I'm really curious to see how other people did it and the end result. So, anyone know of any fursuits with legs like that ?

ok...so I feel like everything I draw is blah and lacks any motion or even a hint of action...I want to work on this!!! Give me some action things a steampunk archaeologist *cough...airship pirate...cough cough* might do! GO!!!

I meant to post this a while ago...but yeah, I have a facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/profile.php?id=100001563114993 I plan to post commission progress shots and finished art that may not make it here. Sadly, I only have like 9 friends currently...I feel lame.

Ok, so I've decided I'm going to attempt to cast my own realistic eyes for my suit...now I know how to do it...but I wondered if anyone had any tips? 'd love to just buy them, but I want the "follow" effect and just normal taxidermy glass eyes get very pricey when custom ordered :(

yeah...since it's a little closer, it seems less absurd to ask now :3 I am damn determined to go!! I have go to pull my self out of this stupid dark funk and enjoy something!!! I'm trying to work on my head again and hope to have at least a partial done to wear! I'd love to have the body suit done by then, but I just don't have the funds to buy more fur (I'm only lacking some black fur, but none the less, it cost money that I don't have to spend). So, yeah, who's going?

Here lately it just feels like everything and everyone around me is crumbling. My mother is unable to buy groceries so that she can afford to pay her taxes before they take her house...my father is working 48 hours+ at a time to get as much overtime as possible to help me and my mother (my parents are divorced, but my father still helps financially-otherwise my mother be unable to pay the most basic bills). I've lost a relative a year for about the last decade...the lost goes on and on. I feel like my whole family is cursed sometimes. I know it's just the economy and the natural cycle of life, but damn, it seems a bit harsher than normal the last few years :( Maybe it's just how human society's current condition... just crumbling under it's own stress and strain.

I feel weird asking, but I would like to ask everyone willing and open to it, to keep my cousin, Brent, in their thought and prayers. He has been hospitalized with h1n1 (swine flu) and is currently in intensive care. He has developed pneumonia in both lungs and is being kept under due to severe pain. I am having bad dreams about it and I feel like a bit like a train wreck. All I can do is have hope ♥

I know I still owe a few commissions. I also know they are HORRIBLY overdue. I have no good excuse for it anymore, I just haven't felt like creating anything-my heart feels almost dead. If you commissioned me and would rather a refund at this point, please note me. I don't know when I can send any money-but I can try. I hate that I even have to write this...it hurts my pride so much :C I WILL FINISH ALL OWED ART-IF YOU STILL WANT ME TO!!! Don't think this is me trying to back out! I just feel like a terrible person for getting this behind. I love this community and the people I have met here...I don't want it to be the artistic/creative death of me though :C

Sorry I fell out or reality again for a while...but needed to give an important message-

-If you were expecting something from me in the mail (badges, bookmarks, etc.) and haven't gotten it, I have it. The majority of what I sent out came back to me as "insufficient postage"- apparently the little card stock mailers I made for the badges were a few centimeters too big for the postage I paid (one of the bookmarks came back too). So, everything will be re-mailed in store bought mailers this time so they actually get there!!! Mailing things has become such a pain in the ass the last couple of years. I'm shooting for having everything out by Monday (12-6), so keep your eyes peeled. *hugs all around*

I am feeling a little more like myself since some of the fall weather has actually crept in. I despise the summer heat XC I have an idea what may be dragging me through the dirt emotionally right now...I think my Thyroid is screwed up again :C I was told it was ever so slightly elevated years and years ago and now I'm showing almost every textbook sign of it being underactive. That in its self can increase depression issue as well a making me feel like crap all around. I'm hoping I can either find a way to get some cheap insurance or save up so I can go see a doctor...this has got to get better. But I am still here and alive...just sort of half awake. I love you all so much and thank you for supporting me <3 <3 <3 <3

I'm so frustrated...it seems like everytime I try to draw lately my hands are so unsteady and shakey :( I don't know what the deal is but it's driving me crazy...not to mention the hand cramps after using my tablet :C Just not getting the results I want when i draw anymore...arrggg...so irritating :C

ok ok...I know it's months and months away but I've decided I want to try and go this upcoming year. I need a break ( we haven't even taken a vacation in almost 2 years) and some time to be around other people and enjoy myself. i figure if I start saving a tiny bit here and there now, I might be able to afford it. I know I will not be able to afford a room by myself-nor do I really feel the need for my own room-So I'd love to share with someone. Obviously I'd pay my part and I promise I won't be in there all the time (or doing anything weird while you're not in the room). I just feel like I deserve to do something for myself...maybe it'll ease the stress a little and cheer me up :3 Better to plan early rather than last minute :p Plus-it'll give me a reason to work on my suit!!! Woo hoo!