"Complications", they say... That man had sacrificed everything, first his leg, now his life. If someone doesn't nominate him for a Citizen's Medal, or some other Citizen's Heroism award, I will.

My condolences to his family, to  wolfgem and  beastcub and her family. The outpouring of sympathy has been awesome, but, if you haven't added to it, could you please do so? Just knowing the Fandom cares appears to be helping them a lot more than we can know.

Goodbye, dear Hari, I grieve for the loss of a heroic fur and man

http://front.moveon.org/how-can-som.....rc=daily.share

Here is what I posted on the MoveOn page I found this on (understand that I was explaining, very briefly, what Fursuits were in the simplest terms):

"I'll be honest- I cried a little. That was an awesome display. <3 THIS is the kind of thing that mascots and fursuits (like mascots, but individual characters custom-made for the wearer) are about. Just being there, offering a moment of simple fun and well-being.

As to the message of the video, costume aside: no, we SHOULDN'T have to disguise our true selves in order to be noticed, appreciated, or loved. That fact that, in our current society, we DO, is saddening in the extreme... Now I want to hug the man who was wearing the costume... without the costume. <3"

This is the kind of thing Furry is about for me: fun, silliness, creativity, even serious messages (like the one in the video. Did you catch it? I almost didn't), symbolized and expressed through funny animals that act like humans. There is a tribal thing, there for me, too, since I'm close to my Innu roots- animal masks and characters factor heavily in our stories. I'm sure there are many others on here who feel something similar in regards to their Tribal cultures. Furry is an interesting outlet for an ancient human practice: telling stories through animal costumes- BECOMING the character.

THIS is what I try to express to people who don't know what the frak we're about- like my mother. She, during one of our periodic "discussions" about religion and why I'm an atheist, actually tried to equate Furry with religion, thinking that I was "filling some empty place in my soul" with that, instead of what SHE wanted me to fill it with (assuming I even have such an empty place. Gotta love the arrogance of the True Believer. LOL): her version of the silly belief in an invisible, psychopathicly-abusive imaginary "friend" in the sky who will smite any who don't believe in him, but will love you forever if you do.

Yeesh, that kind of rationale for belief reads like the sort of "reasoning" mobsters use when they demand "protection" money from shop-owners. "Don't want anything bad to happen to yer store or yer family, right? Keep makin' those payments, pal, and we'll take care of you." What rot.

Anyway, Fursuits are beautiful things, powerful things, and I effing love 'em.

...in case anyone hasn't heard of her, she was the first American woman in space. A science-writer, knowledgeable, and inspiration to girls and women everywhere who had any interest at all in the sciences. she was proof girls weren't just into dolls, boys and pop stars in an era of neon pinks, fluff and bubble-gum-flavoured superficiality.

For me, she was one of the many people I admired for their minds and deeds. I suppose I could even say she was a hero of mine. I do know I cheered her on when her first trip on the Challenger when I was fifteen, sitting in front of the TV, watching a replay of the takeoff (that flight was so early in the morning, I normally wouldn't have been up, yet). "See, Mom! Girls can SO go to space! We're not all fluffheads who can't do math!" That didn't change the fact that I was, personally, absolutely terrible at math, but that didn't stop me from being interested in science- it turned out to be one of my best subjects, incidentally.

I wonder if she cried for Challenger and it's crew when it was destroyed on take-off, and if if she wept, too, for Columbia, the other shuttle that died in re-entry.

Regarding crying, I suspect it wasn't something she personally did much of: she reportedly gave an odd look to the reporter that had asked her if she wept when a job didn't go right- the inherent sexism in the question seemed to baffle her. Why would she cry? Just because she's a woman? Are women more likely to be "weepy"? I wonder if thoughts like that went through her mind as she decided how to answer the idiot's sexist comment- “How come nobody ever asks a male those questions?" A good burn of that fool, proving there really is such a thing as a stupid question.

She was also gay- a fact she kept silent, not because she was afraid to reveal that fact (though she might have been, I don't know), but because she was a private person that felt no need to spread her life across the world. That privateness meant she also avoided the movie-deals, the ghost-written book and all the other sponsorship offers she was given over the years. Instead, she did what she loved: encouraging girls to go into the STEM fields (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics).

No sell-out, that lady.

Pancreatic cancer is a nasty form of cancer that nearly always kills it's victim, and my sympathies are with her partner of 27 years, Tam O'Shaughnessy, her family, and her friends.

Add another hero gone, one who I will always admire.

{EDIT} For those who may not have heard, though I'm sure most have,  beastcub's sister,  wolfgem and her sister's boyfriend,  elden were horribly injured in a hit-and-run that killed all four of Wolfgem's Cattle-dogs, tore up her leg so horribly that it required surgery to repair and Elden lost his leg to the damage he suffered while pushing Wolfgem out of the path of the car. Both families are still reeling, and I know the medical-costs are going to be effing INSANE. I suggest going over to this page: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3677082/ and consider donating a bit of coin to the cause of keeping them out of bankruptcy. The drunken creep who was responsible has been arrested, and, it turns out that not only does this cretin have several other DUI's on his record, his license had been suspended. Even if he was sober, this fucktard was still driving illegally! It is my hope that this man gets some serious therapy, and is made to pay out damages for the rest of his life for what he's done to innocent people. If he doesn't get treatment, it's only a matter of time before this fool, who's shown no remorse whatsoever (only crying about getting caught and pissed that he's being charged for the deaths of the dogs on top of the others), actually does kill a human being, not "just some dogs", as he supposedly put it (heartless, messed up dipshit... *sound of teeth grinding*) My heart goes out to Wolfgem for what happened to her, Elden, and her beloved dogs, and to the families of both go my hopes for a fast recovery with as manageable of a financial burden as can be attained...{/EDIT}


I honestly don't know what to say or think when things like this happen, and it bothers me that tragedies of this sort seem to be occurring more and more often, at least in our Western and European culture. When I was a child, the term "shooting spree" had yet to be coined (I think- tried to find it's earliest use and couldn't), Columbine was an obscure little school in a small town, no one could have imagined the events in a peaceful place like Finland- twice, or in Dunblane, Scotland, Port Arthur, Australia and County Cumbria, England. The Polytechnique Institute in Montreal (Canada has had it's own tales of mass-shootings) where 14 students, most female, were murdered simply for daring to want to be engineers in a male-dominated discipline (yes, the shooter's "reasons" were really that misogynistic). The Norway killer was so over-the-top in sheer numbers, and even the royal family of Nepal wasn't immune to mass murder...

This stuff seriously makes me cry- for the victims and their families, for what they have to go through, the confusion, the questions... And for the young gunmen (they're usually young, I've noticed) who were so obviously ill, yet whom no-one saw fit to pay enough attention to in order to help them, maybe preventing tragedies like these.

And this morning, when I went online, I find out about the Aurora, Colorado killings. In the wee hours of Friday morning, a theatre-full of movie-goers had a rude surprise they originally thought was part of the events for the premier-showing of the new Dark Knight film. Last I heard, 12 dead over 50 wounded...




There is no God, and I will maintain that this is so until I die...




My heartfelt condolences to the families of the dead and injured, and I also hope the young man who did this gets help, too. Really. I do not want to see any bullshit, revenge-oriented tripe like "die in a fire, murderer!" sort of drivel, OK? It's rude, pointless, ignorant, childish and disrespectful to the people suffering right now. The man is mentally-ill, not evil. He was quoted as saying that he was The Joker before he opened fire- this is not a coldly-calculated series of murders- these were mostly random targets [EDIT] He supposedly did plan this whole scenario over a long period, including trapping his apartment, but, seriously, who does such a thing who is actually SANE? Honestly. [/EDIT] I say 'mostly' because he did choose the theatre as his 'venue', but the victims themselves- whoever was there had a gun aimed at them. The man is crazy, probably hurting (I live with mental-illness every day, believe me, paranoia is NO fucking fun, and this fellow certainly had it far worse than me, well into schizophrenic territory), and doing what he did 'made sense' in his delusional world...

*sighs* I had some other bad news this morning, but it frankly doesn't hold a candle to things like this (nothing serious, just didn't get chosen for a juried show in a mainstream gallery- I'll try again next year)- my woes got turfed in favour of feeling deeply for the people who had their night of entertainment turned into horror...

As Winnie-the-Poo says, "oh, bother..."

My last submission here was a ref for Grayver, my goofball gryphon, that I did up for  que-sera-sera's contest (she wasn't judging, though, but she is going to be making this), and I literally got in my entry the day before the window closed. So, just out of curiosity, and expecting to cheer on somebody getting a cool costume, I find her journal-entry announcing the winners and had to do a double-take: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/...../#cid:26879556 Ok, a triple and quadrupal take. Egad, I may have Grayver for next FC.... That would be fecking awesome. *mutters, have to make up some silly fifties-style sci-fi outfit for him...*

I am so chuffed right now... *squeals happily*

Hey guys, it has come to my attention that the town is actually having their fireworks display on the July 7th, which is a Saturday, as the July 4th falls on a Wednesday this year.

So, in the interests of preventing confusion- or disturbance to the neighbours- the party is being moved up to the Saturday. That way, we can all hang out, be a little loud, stuff our faces and watch some pretty sweet fireworks that evening.

SO, HOUSE-WARMING IS ON JULY 7TH!

The dragon apologizes for any inconvenience this may have caused. *snerk* Really, this will be the last party-date change.

Random, random, random, rabble, rabble, robble, ribble, ribbit...

We have a house.

I repeat, for those that didn't get that- WE. Have. A. House!

Awesome.

Ahhh, stability at last... Along with my mate, I'm getting to do something I NEVER, EVER thought I'd get to do- EVAR: buy a house. Yeehaw! Wait, that was kinda Americin' weren't it? WOOOT!

Heh.

Ok, we're still up in Crestline (thanks go to  sagehendrix and  stegosaurus for letting us know about the place), have been for a year, and there are even more furs up there, too! There's us, of course, then there's another pair who I only got to meet once, but they were really nice folks and their dogs were hilarious- have you ever been sat on by a Harlequin Great Dane? Trust me, it's an experience- and they live with the most adorable wee horse, and there's another adorable horsie by the name of Meddle Pony. If there are more furs up here, I haven't met them, yet.

My only beef with the town is the high percentage of Republican Tea-Party types and Christo-fascist religion. WAAAY too many evangelicals. But, I can ignore churches (how many churches does one NEED in a town of ten-thousand people? Seriously?) and Repulsivecans- they actually don't bother anyone much, except to steal the odd rainbow U.S. flag from one of the local same-sex couples (rude thing to do, but harmless).

Otherwise, the place is amazing: it's clean, smells wonderful on a Spring day, the people are super-friendly (really, when folks move aside to give you car-space on the roads, they wave at you! And smile! Of course, we've picked up the habit, too)- the locals are already calling US locals. LOL The scenery is gorgeous, and...

We have a house there! Escrow closes in about a week. We've inspected the place top-to-bottom with three different inspectors (for different purposes: one was a geo-technical survey for earthquake safety, another for the building to hunt up structural issues and the third was a kind of combination of the other two, I think). It's nice and big- Kani will have his office, I'll have a temp studio in the family-room space (until we build the real thing under the house- there's a massive nearly 500 sqft space under there), it's pretty, a newer building (Kani's pref), and, here's the kicker- it's furnished. If we had come with nothing, we'd still be golden. The previous owners were meticulous in their maintenance, neat as pins, bought multiples of everything (you might need it, after all), and had even re-enforced the foundations when it appeared other homes on that slope were having erosion problems. Their place hadn't quite experienced any issues yet, but they had it done anyway.

Bonus for me and my conscience- it was a regular sale. No foreclosures, no short-sales. I didn't have to feel like shit for essentially cashing in on someone's misfortunes. The owners are well-off, if not wealthy, and this was a vacation home they no longer used. How awesome is that?

*rubs hands together gleefully* I'm so gonna be doing some gardening, oh yeah!

We figure we'll be moving in all during June- first thing for us to set up is our work-spaces, of course- and we plan to have a house-warming on July 4th, since the view from the deck is sweet- it looks out over the lake, where you can see the mountains across it, and the town holds it's fireworks display over the lake (the safest spot in a forest).

It will be BYOBBQ- bring your own B-B-Q foodz! We'll provide some noms, too, along with a couple of bottles of mead to celebrate with. Everything 's better with mead...

Ya wanna come? Let me know! We have crash-space, in case someone imbibes too much: two single beds, three couches and floor-space, of course. No one is driving off this mountain even slightly intoxicated- those curving roads and three-hundred-foot drops over the side will effing KILL you. If you plan to drink, you're giving me your keys at the door- no question. If someone has a hookah and they want to smoke shisha- no worries- there's lots of deck out there and a front deck (for parking) too. Just not inside, please- I have asthma.

And, because the house is furnished, and we won't need everything (I'm not into bears, and the owners freakin' collected the things- I think there's something like a hundred bear-themed statues, wall-hangings and so on), we plan to sort through stuff and have a big old-fashioned garage-sale. Well, deck-sale- maybe there will be lemonade and a BBQ going...

I'm packing like a crazy-person, working on three pieces for a juried gallery show in Santa Monica (making my own paper for it, too. Yeah, I'm nucking futz), wondering how the heck I'm going to work on commissions and trying not to lose my hair over this. Oh, and it's purple and blue right now, with white streaks. The hair, I mean. LOL

[EDIT] In the interests of safety, responsibility and basic politeness, I'm going to ask that folks refrain from making "secondary invites"- unless you let me know first. See, there are a lot of folks who know people in my circle who I actually don't know myself. I don't get out much. LOL So, if I haven't communicated with them on some level, or ever met them, it's always a good idea to clear things with me, first, ok? I want to have a party, just not a potentially raucous one. Also remember that our parents might be there, and I'm planning on inviting the fellow next door and his crew- he's been nice to us when were buzzing about the house like hoverflies. I think he deserves a bit of compensation for his patience at all of our questions!

Anyway, we're not planning on doing anything too loud or crazy- just some pals, hanging out, eating yummy noms, maybe share a few brews and watch the fireworks (of which we have a prime view). Mind you, people party on July 4th and do the BBQ thing and can party loud-I have no beefs with that. Just don't bring any firearms or shoot anything into the sky- it's a small town, but this isn't Arkansas. I plan on shutting down the party around eleven to midnight, just to be nice to the new neighbours. Paraphrasing the words of the immortal Austin Powers: "So, Behave!" >^__^< Oh, and anyone left over and still there the next morning gets to help us clean up. [/EDIT]

[EDIT #2] THE HOUSE-WARMING DATE HAS CHANGED: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3533473/

American friends, THIS is what you have supporting that pustule named Mitt Romney: an admitted paedophile and gun-nut, a dipshit of a man I've been watching get crazier and crazier as the years of his irrelevance went on and on. Lately, he's actually been claimed as saying that he'd like to kill the President: "If Obama is re-elected I will be dead or in jail by this time next year"! The Secret Service and he apparently had a "nice little talk" over that, but little came of it. The article I link to below is dated April 18th, and asks the question of whether or not his admitted (on several occasions!) sexual-interest in what most would consider CHILDREN would even get mentioned by the Lamestream Media, let alone his possible threat to the POTUS.

I hope it goes fucking VIRAL, myself, and here's my add to that possibility, in case it hasn't already done so (I'll check around, but this was the first time I'd heard about it- no worries, some of you know my joke about how far down the Grapevine I am).

To all you older rockers, I suggest chucking anything of his you own, I don't care how much you like his mediocre, beer-swilling, crotch-scratching, cave-man music- he is a fucktard of the most egregious variety, and if I were to ever meet the man myself, I'd tell him just what I thought of his anti-intellectualism, that "God-Squad" membership bullpuckery, his idiocy over guns, his anti-environmentalism (the Fish and Game Service "out of control"? WTF?), and his admitted penchant for girls under the age of fifteen...

I give you, Ted Nugent, my winner of the Dirtier Than A Dog's Pizzle award for his extreme douchery. http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/.....ed-Ted-Nugent-

More sources for this if DailyKos isn't on your radar:

Read the whole article, then check out the comments- this creep has a well-known rep for being a scum-bag: http://www.washingtonpost.com/enter.....1lT_story.html

Next (I'm not a fan of the Christian Science Monitor, so when they publish something like this, it says something in their favour): http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/DC-Dec.....sh-he-d-zip-it

Even the lame-duck TMZ site mentions his inanities, though not the ones related to his comments about the POTUS or liking little girls: http://www.tmz.com/2012/05/04/ted-n.....l-suck-your-d/


This cretin was a YOUTH COUNSELLOR?! *shudders* This is just his IMDB page- it doesn't mention the recent scandals, but I thought it was worth putting up: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0637823/

This one is the last, I promise: http://www.politicususa.com/ted-nug.....tt-romney.html

Oh, and his music's been dead-lame since at LEAST the late '70's...

Cross-posted to my blog, The Garden Internal: http://opaldragondreamer.blogspot.c.....o-of-week.html

and to my FaceBook page: www.facebook.com/T.W.Dragon

...Now I'm In Therapy To Get Rid Of It!

New blog: http://opaldragondreamer.blogspot.com/

Yes, it's mine- come by any time, maybe even spread the word about it, too. It's going to be a serious effort at regular writing. Articles, mostly, opinion-pieces, commentary on life, the Universe and everything. And "Life, The Universe, And Everything"- can't have too many comments on that- good book.


I got a little note from my Mum that my brothers had been over for Easter dinner, and a certain... topic came up. The general consensus seems to be they don't want to have anything to do with it- the "fight" is between me and the Step-Monster. Oh, how nice, they're leaving me for the wolves. Well, they'll be pretty pissed when I show up with my own wolfpack in tow...

As if I needed any confirmation that my sibs are being cowards about this whole thing, they can't even be there emotionally for me during this. I mean, really, what do they expect that I'll ask of them? Money? I have that. Them to do the work of prosecuting him for me? Nope, I have that covered. I have no idea what they think is so hard about just being there for their older sister, who used to take the blame for most of our "crimes", and thus, the beatings for same. If I can take repeated whippings for you guys, I think asking for simple visible support on their end isn't too much to ask. Jeez.

The last tid-bit had me punching walls: the worm is now lying to his family, telling them that I'm the liar, and that he has done nothing.

Well, then! *rubs hands together* Someone is going to find out the that revenge of dragons can take decades- he's getting a summons in the mail. I'm pressing charges on the little fuckwit, and let's see how he, and the family he's bamboozled for years, handles THAT.



NO-ONE calls me a liar.

No-one.

I posted the "100 Questions I Want To Ask The Step-Monster Before He Dies" journal that I'd posted here seven or eight months ago. the reactions have been... enlightening.

Oh, the joys of finding out how many people in my family are complete and utterly selfish, self-righteous, hypocritical fucktards. Yum.

On the other paw, my Mum's got my back, as does one of my sisters-in-law, a whole whack of friends I pretty much grew up with and who knew what I was going through, even some folks new to my friends list on FaceBook, and they far outweigh the three people from my family who have blocked me. Ha. Those three? I hope they come back and apologize heartily when they finally do find out their nearest and dearest is a fookin' paedo...

 kanis and I are tossing around the idea of finally bringing charges against him. Child-abuse has no statute of limitations back home, as far as I know. If I do that, those family-members are going to get a VERY painful, revealing shock. The Step-Monster can't hide it when I'm in the room. He admits it, any time I confront him. He's admitted to my mother, admitted it to his divorce-lawyer, who told him "Pay up, or you're going to jail.", and I doubt he'll cover tracks when faced with all three of us in the same room.

Some don't believe me now, but when they discover how long they let that man stay among them, possibly around children, they're going to start asking questions...

My only regret was that I just didn't have it in me to report him when I was a lot younger, or tell the family earlier. My Mum has known for more than twenty years, my next oldest brother for thirty, but the rest... Just found out- on the weekend of the Step-Monster's birthday- April 1st, the Day of the Fool, which is what he is.

Today has been designated as "Wear a Hoodie Day". I know, it sounds silly, but this is the reason: No one should be accosted or hurt, especially shot, for "looking like a thug". He was a 17 year old kid, and he was going to visit his father, who lived in the gated community the pencil-dick who shot him worked as security for. Trayvon had every right to be where he was. He had every right to defend himself against a non-uniformed, unknown male who was pestering him and being threatening. He had every right not to be racially- or sartorially profiled (if you don't know what "sartorial" means, look it up. It'll make sense, then). His "back off" to Zimmerman should have been listened to. Zimmerman should have listened to his dispatcher when he told him to leave the kid alone... If Trayvon hit Zimmerman, he HAD A REASON. Zimmerman has a supposed history of being violent to his spouse/girlfriend as well as to other minorities he finds on his "beat" and of just generally being an asshole-ish bully, apparently. March 20th, the Florida Court said they will "investigate". Well, I and  kanis, hope they do, and that they get this cop-wanna-be off of any security-force and given what he deserves: jail-time.

Our icons look cute together, too:  kanis  murrahnithahn-i-ia

Hey all! I've been quiet and off the map, lately, but things are looking up in brain department and we're on a house hunt! Yup, me and  kanis are looking for a lair of our own, finally, after three years married and almost five years together.

So, in the interests of making sure I have a regular income to help pay our soon-to-be mortgage, I'm going to experiment with the slots-system a lot of artists on here use.

Tails, or small partial-pieces: four slots. First-come, first serve! Waiting-list folks get first consideration, of course.

-  emien- one tail- I've deferred his payment for the moment- family troubles (mine, not his), so paying me can wait.
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-
-


Items like jewellery or Steam-punk Goggles: three slots (they take a bit longer to collect materials and construct). I have four sets of googles in stock currently, but one is already claimed. Again, waiting-list folks get first consideration.

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Bodges, we don't need no steenkeeng bodges! Two slots- because I'm certifiably insane and I spend a fair amount of time on these 'cuz I'm anal about art. LOL

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Current commissions in the queue:

Everyone, I hope you can forgive my failure to get these done for so long. I didn't know I was crashing at the time, or that is was really bad, either. I've been taking the madication (I'm effing religious about it- I'll leave the spelling-error. LOL), and doing therapy since August. I'm able to work, now- maybe not full eight-hour days, yet, but I'll get there,eventually. In the mean-time, I'll be doing these long-awaited pieces up and the new small bits in between as "breaks" on weekends or when I need to change things up once in a while. That way, progress still gets made on the big pieces, and folks can get their smaller ones in a reasonable time, too. Hopefully, that will mean I'll get the pieces folks have been waiting for for so long finished and sent and I can open up for bigger commissions again.

 kilroy- paid in full- eight-foot plush of a pal of his- pattern made and pieces cut out- I'm about a third of the way through sewing this fellow- sorry I'm taking so stupid long, man- FYI: the face came out fuggin' PERFECT. I will be working on this one like right now. LOL

 robbob4- repairs and modification to Big Red. I finally found the extra fabric I kept around, so he should be fixed soon!

 dranslin- paid up, four foot plush of his friend  darkvyce

 thorphax- paid up- two feet of cuteness.

 trozok21 tail and feets- I have the "Blue Ghost" vinyl scaly saved for you, hon! I'm also hoping to find more of it for your wings when you want those done.

As plushes can take a while, I'm now closed for doing plush commissions until this batch is sewn up and shipped! I'll reopen right after these are done.

If anyone is really wanting a plush, or suit partials- let me know, and I can put you on a waiting-list- I'll put in five spots for now, so it's first-come first serve- I'll add more spots as needed.

Waiting-list for plushes, goggles and suit-partials:

 kilroy a firelizard plush.

 scarlitt a pretty striped tail of her dragon.

 reese a large tiger plush.

 dustythemare wants a pair of hooves after seeing the WIP for  clappy9 (now  rebelnine I believe?)

 anyadserval suit partial of her pretty Turkish Van Cat (handpaws, feet and head)

 rheiga "his and hers" custom goggles.

 demonlordookami wants a pair of wolf plushes.

A friend of  cyberhorn_the_dragon wants a pair of custom goggles.

 emien one tail of his golden dragon.

I keep feeling like there should be someone else in this list. Argh. If I have forgotten anyone, please let me know! Thanks all!

I ganked this from  necrodrone13 (at her suggestion, of course!)


The Furry Nickname Meme: follow this to find out the "meaning" of yours!

A = French Kisser
B = Good Kisser
C = Will kick your ass
D = Very very easy for people to like you
E = Crazy as hell
F = Loves it hard
G = Can kick your ass
H = Freaking hot
I = Everyone's best friend
J = Hot
K = Crazy
L = Beautiful eyes
M = Very good kisser
N = Cool person
O = Different
P = The best at all sports
Q = An animal lover
R = Beautiful/handsome
S = Damn sexy
T = Easy to fall in love with
U = Will make you laugh till your sides burst
V = Most amazing kisser EVAR!
W = Makes people laugh
X = Never lets people tell you what to do
Y = Can be funny and dumb at the same time
Z = Loved by everyone


M= Very good kisser
U= Will make you laugh till your sides burst- I do have occasions of bizarrely funneh.
R= Beautiful/handsome- Heh double dose
R= Beautiful/handsome- Now I'm just staring into my mirror too much...
A= French Kisser- I can lick my nose, so that tongue is rather prodigious.
H= Freaking hot- I dunno, but my husband thinks so.
N= Cool person- I've been told so, on occasion.
I= Everyone's best friend- gregarious, yet shy as hell. Go figure.
T= Easy to fall in love with- oddly, this is supposedly true- I've had no fewer than four people tell me they love me. I really should tattoo their "cherries" on my butt, since I collected 'em- all five.
H= Freaking hot- Ego much, Murrah? LOL
A= French Kisser- *waggles the super tongue*
H= Freaking hot - did I mention I was...?
N= Cool person- when I'm not feeling like a complete and utter dufus.

I= Everyone's best friend- Considering I didn't have any friends growing up, I must be making up for lost time. LOL

I= Everyone's best friend- now we're just gettin' silleh...
A= French Kisser- that tongue is comin' ta getcha... *super-stretchy tongue of dooom slithers toward the first person to comment*

And, just 'cuz I'm total dork, let's put my real name through that silliness:

T= Easy to fall in love with- yeah, we know, five cherries remember?
E= Crazy as hell- 'bout time someone noticed. LOL
R= Beautiful/handsome- *snerk*
R= Beautiful/handsome- My ego, she is MIGHTEH!
A= French Kisser- Fear the tongue! *wriggles it*
K= Crazy- kinda redundant, since it's mentioned in "E". Nyark, nyark, nyark.
I= Everyone's best friend- Crazy people often are... but they're all imaginary.
A= French Kisser- I really wish I could transliterate the sound my mind is conjuring right now- kinda like "wuh-uh wuh-uh wuh-uh"
N= Cool person- Is it getting chilly in here?

D= Very very easy for people to like you- Well, the Village Idiot is usually cared for by the whole village... as a kind of loony mascot. Heh.
R= Beautiful/handsome- gotta be beer-goggles by now...
A= French Kisser- "wuh-uh wuh-uh wuh-uh"
G= Can kick your ass- Me and Chuck Norris, we're like THIS in our ability to put foot to dumb-shit-butt. *crosses fingers* If our powers were combined, we could rule the galaxy! Wait, wrong movie...
O= Different- definitely, demonstrably, deliriously, desirously, delightfully Daliesque, dangerously, daringly, dauntlessly, decisively, dedicatedly so, defiantly as well, quite deliberately, with delicacy, dependably, with derring-do, diabolically, disarmingly, even sometimes demurely- though I rarely demur- and I'm a dandy dab hand at it, too!
N= Cool person- I think the room just dropped twenty degrees with all the cool wafting around in here...

*snerk* Ok, that was cheering.

Oh, and send me well-wishes for getting this house, 'cuz I freakin' WANT it (but, I'm being dutiful and looking for a whole fuck-ton of other properties, just in case there is something else in our range that has our rather strict requirements. But, [too many butts in here] this one is my favourite by far): http://www.trulia.com/property/phot.....-92325#item-12 The owners are awesomesauce, too- artists with a really fun sense of style. Damned good eye these two have, and yet they want to move on somewhere else!? O___o Blows my mind... I wouldn't want to leave! I'd just buy up the next lots on either side and make a truly astounding garden/farm out of it! Yeah, there's houses on them- they'd have to go... or be assimilated. LOL

No?

Then find out on 60 Minutes! http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/.....%3BcbsCarousel This a clip from the episode, which will air tomorrow at 7 PM both ET and PT on whichever local stations carry it.

Not many people know this, since it doesn't impact my life as badly as it used to, but I have this odd misfire in the pattern-recognition centre of my brain called prosopagnosia and it means face-blindness. I do not recognize faces very well. Some have it so bad, they can't recognize faces at all. Me, I just have days where I don't recognize a brother or two, or my mother. Embarrassing as fuck, I'll tell you.

It wasn't until about five years ago that I learned that I wasn't stupid, lazy about remembering people, or being so self-absorbed that I couldn't be bothered to remember them- all things I've been accused of in the past by poor folks offended that I didn't recognize them. I really couldn't remember them! It came as a relief when I found out it had a name- it meant that it wasn't my fault and I had a valid explanation for why I didn't remember so-and-so.

I recall many times when I was in elementary and high-school, where I had met someone who seemed nice, I might be able to become friends with them, and then I'd never "see" them again. But, rumours began to spread about how much of a "snob" I was! Now, I know WHY.

I have variously failed to recognize two of my own brothers and even my own mother. My middle brother was so offended that I didn't know who he was one day, that he carried a grudge over it for years. I couldn't explain why I couldn't say who he was- I didn't know there was a term for what I was going through then. So much hurt between me and so many people would never have happened, if I was able to recall faces better than I do.

I can get lost in the faces of crowds- they scare me a little with how "alike" they all look to me. When  kanis and I were first going out, I used to get hugely nervous when we'd go somewhere and he left me for too long in a wide open, crowded situation (unless I'm stationed in a specific spot- like a Dealer's table- and he knows where to find me) because I was afraid I wouldn't recognize him as he passed by and I'd get lost even more!

Take a familiar person out of the context I'm used to seeing them in, change the way they dressed, how they wore their hair, what have you, and there's a strong chance I won't recognize them. Over the years, I've learned to use mnemonics, little mental tricks to help me keep people I know and their faces together in my memory. I'll recognize someone from the way they move, their favourite colours (for example, my mum-in-law really likes red and wears it a lot), an item they wear or carry with them often, the sound of their voice or the shape of their eyes. I'm able to recall people better, now, because of those tricks.

It sounds like I have it bad, but I actually don't- certainly not as badly as the unfortunate Dr. Sacks, the researcher who has been learning all he can about this condition: he's mistaken his own reflection in a mirror as being someone else entirely!

So, folks, if anyone is curious about this relatively recently-named condition (named sometime back in the forties, and real research has only gotten really going in this age of MRI and CAT scans) go find where on your local stations 60 Minutes will be airing tomorrow. And, understand, if I don't seem to recognize you, or I'm at a loss for what your name might be- please, don't be offended, just give me a nudge and tell me where I might know you from. "Remind" me!

Oh, and if you're in a fursuit, I'll have no trouble at all recognizing "you"! Unless the wearers change a lot, that is. LOL For some strange reason, I rarely have trouble recognizing individual animals... Go figure.

This one really repulsed me: http://www.care2.com/causes/ex-gay-.....ort-cards.html Just another form of snake-oil, in my opinion, just, this time, based on bigotry, fear and religion. It is also Snake-oil based on the fact that this "course" is probably not free (I didn't go to their site to find out, I was so disgusted by the very idea). "We can help you change your orientation" is the claim, and it's disgusting.

 necrodrone13 made a journal regarding it last month, where she attacks it, too, with good reason, in my view: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/...../#cid:24897376 The comments were long and many, with multiple and differing views on the notion. Free Speech got brought up a lot, as it should, but my view is that this is not a Free Speech issue, but a false-advertising, homophobia and medical-quackery issue. Free Speech allows one to protest the bad policy or abuses by government without seizure of self or property and without imprisonment for a differing view. We're allowed to protest bad law, in other words. But, too many people seem to interpret Free Speech as meaning, "I can say whatever I want, even if it's bigoted bullshit and you can't do squat about it." Not only untrue, but potentially an indictable offence if it brings harm to others... You don't yell "FIRE!" in a crowded theatre if there is no fire- you get your dumb self arrested.

Anyway, the group that put out these fliers is really an organization based upon a religious viewpoint that thinks being gay is a sin and, because it's a "sin", because you can choose not to "sin", you can supposedly choose not be gay... Stupidest shit I've ever heard, but then, I like being able to think for myself, and do. Often. It also advertises a program for "confused teens" where they can supposedly make that change/choice. Uh-huh. "Pray the gay away" someone once called it. It goes against science, it goes against real-life evidence and it goes against what I think of as decency. It opens up a whole nasty can of worms where people point fingers at bullied youth who might, or might not, be gay, essentially blaming them for the situation: "if you only would just stop being gay, they wouldn't pick on you" and persuading parents with too much religion in place of brains in their heads to send their poor kid to "gay camp" to "improve" their lives.

It has come out (pardon the pun) that these "Gay camps" do FAR more damage than they help. Many of the kids end up feeling so conflicted, feeling that their own parents hate them for who they are, miserable that they really CAN'T "choose not to be gay", blame themselves for the "failure" and commit suicide. SUICIDE. That's the real result and end-product of those camps and "courses". It could kill your child. It's torture (some of the reported methods definitely border on torture, and are definitely abusive), and it's unconscionable. How can anyone possibly do this to their own children?! They say they love them? A parent who truly loved their child would never put them through a concentration-camp-like, brainwashing experience designed to alter their very centre of being that could even kill them!

Anyway, a decision has been made to remove these ridiculous fliers and possibly even ban ALL fliers from outside organizations (even good ones, like eco-groups). Pity that it has to be an "all or none" decision, but I can understand why. http://www.care2.com/causes/distric.....n-to-kids.html

WOOT!

Not so "woot!":

Oh, and by the way, I might want to avoid anything related to the Boy Scouts and Girls Scouts, too, if you're at all pro-gay-civil rights: they don't allow any of their counsellors in any group, camp or organizational area, to be gay, under the assumption that they are somehow a threat to the kids in their care. Common mistake, I suppose- gay men like to fuck other men, so they'd probably be attracted to little boys, too, right? Fucking morons. If that were true, by that ridiculous reasoning, anyone, attracted to members of their own gender or the opposite gender, would be attracted to children of the preferred gender. I fucking HATE generalizations and bad reasoning like this. http://www.time.com/time/magazine/a.....996776,00.html The article is from the year 2000, and I found this later page from 2011: http://www.bsa-discrimination.org/h...../oldbaldy.html saying that they actually won the case, allowing them to discriminate against an orientation or people without religion.

If you are gay, they will not hire you. I guess that steps all over the common stereotype of the gay man in the Boy Scout uniform...

Oh, and if you're an atheist and refuse to swear an oath to god- you can't be a Boy Scout leader either. Nice, all-American organization, huh? Yuck.

Bigots, why can't just shoot 'em?

Let's see who gets that lame joke- maybe there'll be a sketch in it for 'em.

Oh, yeah, it's my hatchday tomorrow (I'm writing this on Saturday). I'm a 44 year old lizard, weee.

Finally back in the groove and working on commissions again- let's see if I can actually finish the fecking things... Bugger.

Yeah, I'm a in a lousy mood, sorry, no goofiness today.

Well, I'm hoping to have some funz tomorrow- we're going to go look over some houses for sale. >^__^< That should cheer me up. Hmmm.... bigger, heated, studio... LOL

[EDIT]Holy heck, when did I pass 800 watchers!? It's passed on number 800 on the watchers thingy, so now I don't know who to give a kiriban to. *cries* [/EDIT]

I'm sure many of you, dear readers, have seen the comments and news about Wikipedia blacking out their site for 24 hours in protest of a proposed bill in the Senate: SOPA and PIPA. Many other sites are joining them, by the way. *points to FA'S banner* These bills are ostensibly an effort to combat piracy, but it seems like the loopholes that are more and more inherent in bills these days make it possible for the government to pull the curtains on ANYTHING they choose to call "wrong" or "illegal". Oh, like nation-wide protests against bad leadership...

Without the Net, few of us would know each other. Without it, we'd be unlikely to organize as well as we do for events like Conventions. Sure, they happened looong before the Web existed, but how much easier is it to shoot off an e-mail to someone and get a reply, sometimes within the hour, then waiting for a snail-mail post to come back days, even weeks, after you'd sent it? Indeed.

Certainly, piracy is a problem, for both the artist and the copyright-holders. It loses them a fuckton of money, in some cases. But, wouldn't it make sense to go after the pirates and their hosts, instead of giving the government blanket power to shut down the web "at need"?

Take a little look back at recent history: the uprisings of the Middle East. Arab Spring would NEVER have happened if it hadn't been for the Net and access to social-networking. When the governments of some of those nations realized what a threat the Web was to their regimes *coughSyriaLibyacough* crackdowns and blackouts commenced.

Do we want to give the government that kind of power to muzzle us here?

An FYI, before some bright bulb points it out, yes, the bill did fail in Congress, but it's still active in the Senate House, and we've got less than a week to kill it. [EDIT] Oops. I forgot to mention, for clarity- PIPA builds on the similar PRO-IP Act of 2008 that already exists as law that was passed in 2008, I think- but there are portions of the current SOPA bill that could add to it's powers, too. Nice to hear that a majority of the members who'd originally backed the bill have changed their opinions and are now saying they will be voting against it if it isn't re-written to better reflect it's purpose. Last I heard, there are only about five supporters left- to me, that reads "dead as doornail", but we all know how things can turn around on a hair these days.[/EDIT]

SO KILL IT.

This is important. The right to express yourself, to communicate with like minds, even to be a douche on the Intertoobz, is a right we all have. It was bad enough when police were called in the pound on #Occupy protesters who were exercising their right, as stated in your own Constitution, to gather in protest of bad government without undue seizure or violent retaliation. People like to call them lazy hippies, losers and various other names, none of which actually apply. Many are students, lawyers, a city councillor (who got arrested, by the way), simple workers of all kinds, teachers, returned soldiers and other vets, fire-fighters, even a few cops. These people go to work, when they have work, or to school... Lazy they are NOT.

I cannot, in all good conscience, call anyone a "shiftless loser who just wants handouts" who is willing to get pepper-sprayed, beaten, put in the hospital with a fractured skull or be arrested... Who, in their right mind, would call an 84 year-old woman an unwashed hippie? She was pepper-sprayed, and due to her age, that could have KILLED her. Pepper-spray is not a nice weapon by any stretch of the imagination- people hit with it often cough up BLOOD.

Back to the censorship bill.

From what I've been reading during the last several weeks that this thing has been bounced around Congress, it can allow the government the ability (which, in all reality, I'm sure they already technically have, they just want a legal justification so they can claim they had the right to prevent retaliation from a justifiably pissed populace) to shut down anything they deem "inappropriate", "terrorist activity" etc. The word "treason" has been thrown about. So has "sedition".

Honestly, what does this sound like to you?

Stand up on your hind legs, guys, and fight back against the slow process of squeezing our rights down to nubs.

To paraphrase Ben Franklin: "those who sacrifice freedom to gain Liberty deserve neither".

[EDIT] It's just come to my attention that officials I usually respect are still backing the bill, which leads me to question the info I've managed to find. Darnit. Welp, back to digging, and re-reading the damned bill... The problem is still a possible question of censorship, though, beyond the legitimate prosecution of pirates. I'm also cynical enough that it's still possible for good people like Al Frankin and Barbara Boxer (the officials I was referring to) to still be fooled or stymied by careful wording to make a possible threat seem more harmless and so they'd still end up supporting it despite their very definite Progressive leanings. Or worse, have demands placed on them that put them into a position where they have little choice but to vote in favour- kind of like the seemingly impossible position of "have you stopped beating your wife?" (to which I'd could only answer, "I have never beaten my wife, sir," but a lot of people seem to miss that option)- and voting for the lesser of two evils. Hobson's choice is always lousy...[EDIT]

Ever since I saw one of the first draw-right-on-the-screen tablets, I've been drooling for one, but knew I'd likely never get one because of their cost. The first type I got to see was one an illustrator was using for his work on some article or book on dinosaurs that I'd spotted at a local coffee shop. I had to surreptitiously stare at this marvel over his shoulder, making conversation difficult with the buddy I was out for chai with... LOL His wasn't a Cintiq, or even a Wacom, as far as I knew, but something similar- it had two screens, one in the keyboard area that he drew on and the monitor- at least that's how I remember the thing. It was big, too- I think the monitor screen was a 12" inch flat-screen. Otherwise, it seemed to be a laptop.

But, I drooled over what this guy was doing with it (he was really good) and I so wanted one.

Back to the present: when I heard there was an actual drawing-tablet screen thingy of ginormous size and sparkleness, I wanted to see it. When I did, *eyes get BIG*... More of that usually fruitless "DO WANT" from me.

Cue  kanis, the amazing God of electronics. >^___^< This guy is more than a Geek Squad all to himself, he's an entire fabrication facility!

He, wonderful dragon, found out that you could alter an older-model Intuos to work like a Cintiq! Ok, that's awesome enough. He looks up more info, finds a few tutorials (which were frankly ass), but now he knew it could be done, as he saw finished projects. He decides he's going to surprise me by building one of these wonders. O___O

Now, I didn't know word one about what was up (I guessed, much later, because of some stuff I'd seen, despite my trying NOT to), just that he'd pulled out my trellis-table and unfolded it for a work-surface, and cordoned off a portion of our living-room with sheets so I couldn't see into his "secret laboratory". I worried that the plants trapped in there with him would suffer horrific traumas or sad fates from being in there with this madman. That, and I couldn't go in there to water them. =^^= Diva got to explore in there, though, but she kept mum on what she saw, the evil wench-kitten. Soon, boxes of stuff were going in there, tools, lamps, the vacuum-cleaner and all kinds of other stuff. Soon, noises were issuing from the space, lights, flashes, power saws (O___o) drilling and the, by now expected, occasional mad laughter. OK, I made that part up.

What was going on in there?

For weeks, he's crafting something that I was beginning to suspect was some sort of patchworked creature worthy of the best fifties B-movies. Other noises issued from the "lab"- more drilling, what sounded like computers booting up and so on.

I was getting twitchier by the day as Christmas loomed ever closer. The urge to sneak a look behind that barrier was getting to be a bit much, but I held firm- I would wait until he showed me his project. I had the willpower bestowed upon me by Wellbutrin and Valproic acid! So, to distract myself from possible ruining of his accomplishment's impact, I told myself, "self? Let's concentrate on art for FC, shall we? Yeah, let's do that". I did a LOT of art... I got a late start because of the depression problem, but I got it all done. In a month. Spending days up until the wee hours, working. And, liking it. O___o

He often came out of the "Lab" tired, dusty and sometimes grumpy when things don't go quite as planned. I massage his back, or do a little gentle chiropractic stuff to ease the cramping he was suffering from hunching over whatever he had on the slab in there. His poor spine sounded like Rice Krispies...

More boxes arrive at our door to be sucked into the green void-space of the sheet Universe....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Finally, the Big Day where I get to find out what monster of Epicness he'd been working on since Thanksgiving.

I'd been eyeing the plain, beat up, unembellished cardboard box since the night before, when he put it under his parent's tree. No wrapping, a single pearly white ribbon bow, not even my name on it. But, there was a big-ass green arrow pointing up, and we all knew who it was for.

I made a point of saving it for last- or did Kani ask that it be opened last? I don't know. I open all the other presents from the family and my mate- lovely, fun, cute and useful gifts, all. Each year, I think my favourites are the cool socks his mother keeps finding for me and the little display thingies I can use for showing off my work in photos or at craft-shows..

Then, *cue ominous, but cheesy, music*, all eyes lock on the Big Box Of Doooom.

I'm a reserved critter more often than people realize, so it might not be obvious that I was excited as heck, wondering what Kani had perpetrated, here. When I see something neat, adorable, or just cool, I'll squeal and be totally silly. But, when folks give me gifts, I clam up, not knowing how I should react. Instead of happy bounding around, they'll get a huge grin from me, maybe hugs and a quiet "wow, this is so cool..."

Poor Kani, he thought I wasn't as excited as he was hoping for. Little did he know! LOL I made up for it with pretty much being all chirpy for the rest of the day, 'cuz I wanted to play with the thing!

So, I open the box...

Oh, this... This... Is effing AWESOME. A big, black-grey tablet-looking thing, with "Wacom" emblazoned across the bottom of the case, a lovely flat-screen LCD monitor embedded in it, little rough-edged bits of plastic where he'd cut away the original drawing surface to put it there. He'd cobbled together an Intuos 3 and a flat-screen so I could draw on it, just like the Cintiq I've been wanting. *faints*

I'm writing on it, now, 'cuz it can still be used as a regular monitor. Squeeeeeee! LOL I've already played around with it, editing my latest art-post on it and doodled on something Kani had left on the screen for me to see when it booted up ("It's very dark in here" on a black page. *giggle*.

He later refined his work (he hadn't had quite enough time to finish it and polish it up), so now the edges of the remaining surround about the screen are smoothly bevelled, perfectly squared off, precisely measured to just cover the very edges of the limits of the screen, nothing's hanging out or "jury-rigged" in appearance- the damned beast looks like it came out of the box like this (he was that careful with his soldering, fabrication and assembly)! The only indicator for me that it wasn't brand-new, were the wear-marks from the artist who previously had it. S/he was a lefty, like me.

Oh, and for anyone interested in trying something like this, he's put together a build-log of the whole project, step-by-step, with as much detail as he could manage. Lots of photos of the items he used in it's construction, the extra parts he'd needed to buy to make things all shake hands nicely, even mentions his mistakes that could have ruined the entire thing as a warning to others to be careful because there are a fuckton of delicate little parts you need to protect during the fabrication-process: http://forum.bongofish.co.uk/index......p?topic=2052.0








 kanis calls his creation a "Dracotiq", but I think I'll name it "Frankie" *pet pets her patchwork monster tablet*

Her work will blow yer frickin' MIND...  lhuneart Seriously, this lady has some frighteningly well-polished skills.

Shit makes me cry, dammit. Heh.

I'm assuming quite a few have seen this, but I'm posting anyway, on the off-chance you haven't and missed a chance to tell a creep of a bigoted politician what you think of him, at least, indirectly.

This one is fairly important, so please, pay attention:

This is Rick Perry, the Gov of Texas, and he's running for President. In my opinion, he is a bogus "christian", either a liar or just ignorant (you'll hear why when you listen to the garbage he spews) and an anti-gay bigot. His vid reveals that bigotry, and I DO NOT endorse it. I have a lot of friends on here and elsewhere, from a couple of countries, but here's what I'd like anyone, those who care about human rights, to do- go to the video, hit dislike, then hit "report video". You'll get a drop-down with choices- pick "promotes hate or violence", which will point you to more choices of what kind. Hit "sexual orientation". There's a text-window, too: fill it with anything you think is relevant as to WHY this vid should go away. Please, NO trolling commentary, be polite and explain, in clear terms with no swearing, what the reasons are for your wish to remove this vile little spot.

Comments on his video have been disabled- gee, what a surprise! So you unfortunately won't get a chance to tell this cretin what a douche-bag he is. Let's prevent this creep from EVER becoming Prez!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PAJ.....ature=youtu.be

Spread the word! This thing has already gone viral, but spread it anyway! The more people who show their disgust with this kind of thing, the more the party of WRONG will get the message that their lies about what the People want are known to be as full of shit as they are.


LOL Here's something I found that parodies Perry's comments in his vid. Beautiful stuff: ganked from Reddit:

"Hi, my name is Rick Perry, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I would make policy decisions based on my interpretation of the will of my imaginary friend.

But you don't have to spend every Sunday blind to the fallacy of a god who hates all of the same people you do to know there's something wrong in this country, when gays can openly undermine my attempt to bury my self-hatred towards my own sexuality, and yet these imaginary rules that my handlers made up are affecting children in an alternate reality that I would like you to believe in.

As president, I'll end this pretend war on the manifestation of our fears at a changing world, and fight the liberal first amendment and establishment clause. In the hands of the right manipulative asshole, faith can be a false dichotomy to distract constituents from how hard they're being fucked, and it can drive us apart again!

I'm Rick Perry, and I'd like to see America go out with a bang."


Fuckin' #Occupy!

...And right around the holidays, too! It seems that a lady by the name of April Whinchell (the owner of Regretsy.com) was running a donation-drive to gather funds for purchasing toys and other Christmas-y things for some of the needy kids of Regretsy members. While I do wonder about the possibility of "conflict of interest", I don't see a problem with this, do you? Nor do I see a beef with her being swamped with donations to the point where she decided she was going to use the excess $$ to give directly to the families.

Paypal shut it down, saying she somehow violated the rules regarding the use of their "Donate"-button.

All right, I would have done what she'd done: called them up ask WTH? and see if they could come to some sort of resolution to this. You'd think a company that would want to KEEP their customers would be more informative, telling her exactly what the problem was, possibly helpful and at least polite about it? Not even close.

Here are links to the lady's journal entries, where she explains what she was experiencing, point-by-expletive-deleted-point with Paypal's Customer-"disservice" department (oh, she swears a lot and there seem to be some 'in-jokes' about the membership):

http://www.regretsy.com/2011/12/05/cats-1-kids-0

The beginning: http://www.regretsy.com/2011/12/01/secret-santa/

Next entry: http://www.regretsy.com/2011/12/01/.....-make-me-sick/

An update on Secret Santa: http://www.regretsy.com/2011/12/03/.....a-fund-update/

She starts to show here ire over this whole thing with Paypal: http://www.regretsy.com/2011/12/04/.....ck-you-paypal/

I found out about this through  breakspire journal: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2973849/ and, reading hers and Winchell's, I'm seriously considering dropping Paypal and their crappy stacking on of fees (I've begun to notice what seem like "extras" I don't recall seeing before- however, those might be just the seller's fees for using PP as a transaction site, and I've been doing more business-related things there), hearing so many stories this last year alone of people's money and businesses being drilled into, some of these folks people I know personally or less directly (artists I've bought things from, for example).

I know there a lot of bigger things to tackle in this world, like the banks of the world funding massive wars to bleed off "excess" population (IE, the ones more likely to protest, if given the chance to think long enough), funnelling $$ into huge propaganda-campaigns that play BOTH "sides" of an argument (it's not just the Conservatives, people, though it is mostly them), Owning as many of the news-sources as they can, reducing their content to fluff about stars and new products, gangs in the rougher areas of town and conflicts overseas to keep up the paranoia, misinformation campaigns to tell highly-spun stories about various political doings (not outright lying, but very skilled editing and/or very weird interpretations or using reductio Ad absurdum arguments on stories to mislead, baffle and keep us dim on what's really going on), keeping people and entire nations in poverty (or at least struggling to pay interest on their loans, like they do the rest of the people)... All so they can scrape up all the resources for themselves while leaving us at the level of serfs- certainly the super-rich seem to think that's the way "their" world should work, anyway...

But, as for each company that tries to go for that model of "disservice", we can abandon them, pull our money and investments out of them, tell them exactly WHY we're doing it and tell as many people as you can about how they've been treating people they need to keep their companies going. As has been proven, lately, the best affect comes from denying them money in the first place, and going elsewhere to be better treated. True, competitive, Capitalism in it's most original form. Competition inspires innovation- with monopolistic monolithic companies eating up any start-ups that might have a better idea, that innovation dies. Keep innovation going, tell companies that you'll spend your money elsewhere!

Vote with your wallet, and force bad companies to get their acts together by stripping them of their base revenue: us.

...And, apologies all 'round for the long absences. As some already know, I had a dangerous little "episode" where the mental state hit the skids, and it was SCARY... for the people watching, because they didn't know what to do with a 200lb plus dragon falling into that "suicide hole" I illustrated a few weeks back.

The rash of suicides just after August didn't help, either. *sighs*

I never wanted to die, I have to stress that. It was more of a compulsion, if you can believe it, where the urge to do something, anything, in my sadness and rage, to get SOMETHING TO CHANGE, was getting hard to fight off.

Ok, so I'm on drugs. I'm in therapy with a very cool lady who asks some interestingly pointy questions. I LIKE that sort of shit. If you can imagine a Zen Monk in a cute sweater and a "wind blown" hairdo, then you probably have a good idea of what she's like.

Both treatments seem to be helping, somewhat. I still get moodz, but at least I have some control over how I react to them, whereas before, I just flipped my shit and curled up in a miserable, weepy ball. The nightmares and sleeplessness are easing up- yay. My mate still loves me after all the grief I've been putting him through- double yay. I was bitchy, beyond irritable, even though I was trying SO HARD to NOT bother people with my down feelings/failings, and doing what I could, to the point of biting my tongue- literally- to keep myself from roaring and throwing things at people like my mother used to do when she was on a tear...

I'm not afraid of my studio any more- awesome. I've even been able to go in there pretty solid for the last couple of weeks and just WORK. Mostly cleaning and taking anything out that doesn't involve commissions or work for conventions. I've been slowly increasing the hours I spend in there, and getting to eight hours and not being utterly tired out by it is a nice feeling to have back again.

I know, that's a dubious "achievement" for some- they can bite me. When they can understand what a hell-storm of a childhood I had to put up with, they'll likely be fucking AMAZED that I'm still alive after forty years of almost nothing but painful memories. PTSD doesn't begin to cover it as a diagnosis... *shudders* Being able to work at ALL IS an achievement when everything you grew up with told you that you will be a failure, a loser, unwanted, un-respected, even hated, that you'll join the first cult that came along because you are THAT stupid and gullible (irony: the person who said that joined a VERY cultish form of Christianity less than three years later), end up in a ditch somewhere, a druggie, a waste of skin, and anything else that life could come up with to re-enforce how worthless I was.

So, I'm getting better. I'm NOT "cured". There really is no "cure" for this thing, because it's a "lovely" combination of two different types of chemical mood-disorders and a chronic form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. What fun. We can help with the PTSD, and medicate the mood-disorders, but it's very likely that if I go off the meds, or don't find the right ones, I will be pretty much back where I started. Wee.

My enthusiasm for this is underwhelming.

So I'm working again on FC stuff and commissions. I won't give any promises on when things will be finished- I seem to suck at that sort of prediction, so I'm not gonna do it any more- but things are at least moving again.

And, omigawdz, the volume of output I've been doing over just the last two days has been amazing. I'm going to have some gorgeous, some cute, some uh, rather creepy pieces to post soon...

And, in celebration, some silliness, even hilarity. I yoinked this meme off of  silverone because her responses to it are unbelievably gut-bustingly funny. That woman should write for comedy, I swear, she's beyond good:

1. How old will you be in five years?

Old. Ok, I'll be 48. Yup, I've hit middle age- now, GET OFF MY LAWN!

2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today?

My computer screen *twitch twitch* (I'm keeping Silver's answer, 'cuz it's true, but with the additions of  kanis being next to me fixing his Mac, and Diva, my little grey kitty sitting on my monitor because it's warm and the house is an icebox, currently.)

3. How tall are you?

I could give a Hobbit a run for his money.

4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks?

Finishing some commissions and attending Further Confusion.

5. What's the last movie you saw?

"Fast Food Nation"- a bitterly realistic (in some ways, anyway) and cynical picture of the lives of people involved with a McDonald's-like burger company and the meat-packing plant that provides their meat. I had to laugh when my father-in-law griped that the film was too slow and didn't seem to have any plot. Yeah, sure, dad, if it doesn't have some sly detective, Michael Baysplosions or Auteur European art-film flavour, it doesn't have a plot. Besides, he asks constant, utterly stupid questions during EVERY movie he sees, that, if he was actually paying some attention, he'd understand what was going on. Seriously, NEVER take this man to a movie-theatre- the other patrons will want to kill him ten minutes into the feature. That, and he listens to any thing on his TV-screen at ear-bleed volume- or, he nods off every five minutes or so. Yer a sheer genius and you aren't going deaf- but the rest of us are. This man is a retired Electrical Engineer... LOL

6. Who was the last person you called?

My doc, for more crazy meds.

7. Who was the last person to call you?

 stego_saurus , I think.

8. What was the last text message you received?

I use text so seldom, I can't be bothered to recall something that happened more than a month ago.

9. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail?

Dunno, I don't do that either.

10. Do you prefer to call or text?

E-mail. If I must use one of those bacteria-factories people call phones, I make the call as short as possible. Ok, my real reason is that I hate sounding like an utter dork: "Uh, hello? Um, I need a refill on my, um, my....(pause while I kick the boiler on my steam-powered brain) yeah, that prescription..." Doc: "which one?" Me: "Ummmm, the one that keeps me from jumping off a bridge when I remember how many stupid people are living in this town who have fallen for the magical, dictatorial Sky-Daddy because it's easier to do that instead of think for themselves." Doc: "Ah, that would be the Wellbutrin, then." Me: "Yup! That's the one! *is glad to have gotten through another mentally-taxing phone call* Seriously, I really hate the things- I become a complete moron when one of those brain-sucking, parasitic pieces of plastic and circuits contacts my ear...

As for the religionistas, it seems like there's a fecking church- mostly of the rabidly scary, evangelical kind- at most of the major intersections in this little burg. Believe it- there's four within a half-block of each other downtown, and I think there might be a couple more smaller ones tucked away in houses, somewhere. "Shh! Don't talk about them- they're in disguise..." How many churches does a wee town of 10K people really NEED? O______o

11. What were you doing at 12am last night?

Watching my dragon playing "inFamous2"... and enjoying it.

12. Are your parents married/divorced?

Yes. It's complicated...

13. What time did you wake up today?

At two-thirty in the AM, then five-forty, then six-something, then finally around eight-thirty and I gave up on sleeping.

14. What color are your eyes?

LAZER BEAM!!! (<--- Silver's answer) Actually, they seem to be rather changeable, depending on what colour is near my face, or what emotion I'm feeling. Golden when I need to kill something, probably some brain-dead FOX dupe and follower of Zombie Jesus spouting their supposedly "moral" reasons for not wanting gays to have the same rights as any other adult. A really neat bright green when I'm happy 'cuz the Universe just gave me a cookie- such as that same follower of Zombie Jesus and uncritical FOX-adherent being charged with paedophilia...

15. What are you wearing right now?

Bottom to top: 2 pairs of sox, jeans, 3 long-sleeved shirts and a hoodie, a lot of silver jewellery with dragons on it, big-ass ear-spools (a really neat leopard jasper, at the moment. When I gauge up, I have a pair of pretty denim-lapis ones), my glasses. Did I mention it was cold up here in the Himalayas? OK, I'm actually in the San Bernardino Mountains. But, it's still freezing- the insaniac wind-storm out there is sucking all the warm away at about 60 miles an hour... Scares the frak outta me, too. Trees, EVERYWHERE, and any one of them could decide to uproot itself and fall on my house... LOL

16. What’s your least favorite part of sex?

Eesh, you don't wanna know. It has to do with smells- I have a redonculous sense of smell, some days...

17. Do you like Christmas songs?

The older ones that were stolen from the Pagans, or nothing newer than the late seventeen-hundreds, or even earlier- preferably Renaissance. None of that "Jingle Bells, la la la" garbage. And the latest jazzy version of same made me want to put a hole through a wall. (Black Friday at Macy's. Weee! My first one, and I survived intact. Well, I think I lost some sanity, but then, I didn't have much in the first place)

18. Do you have a favorite place or places?

Mountains with forests on 'em, more forests (Muir Woods- check it out. Seriously), deserts in spring, big beaches with a lot of splashy surf and rocks for them to crash against- beach-combing at low tide is awesome on ones near the oldest cities, especially if they had a glass factory nearby- the beach-glass is awesome.

19. Do you have a last favorite place or places?

My mother's house. Not because of the person of my mum, but because she smokes two packs a day of the raunchiest, cheapest, most disgusting things I've smelled in my life. I think I mentioned earlier something about that super-sniffer of mine? Actual conversation between me and the Mother-Unit: "Geez, Mum, yer chaining those effing things! (she was smoking one to a stub, while another waited in her fingers, ready to be lit) You really should cut down on 'em, ya sound like a barking seal! (she had a lung-infection she'd caught from her hubby- another smoker, his vice being cigars- and was hacking up bits of lung onto the floor) Mum: "I'll be ok (picks up an object from the table), I have my inhaler." *head-desk, hard, several times- it didn't help* Me: "ugh, Mum, if you didn't smoke that junk, you wouldn't need to USE a fucking inhaler! Seriously, I don't want to see an epithet on your gravestone reading, 'preferred her cigarettes to living!'"

20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere?

The glass-beaches of Hawaii, Polynesia, Portugal and England. Maybe Bali and India to round things off (not for glass). Oh, and Japan- I have relatives there. >^___^<

21. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years?

Comfortably ensconced in my mountain lair with my mate, growing our own food, generating our own power with solar and wind, possibly hunting and working on the fortifications that we'll probably need to keep out the zombies and road-warriors, if things keep going the way they are (damned corporations, buying our politicians just so they can keep screwing us and wrecking more of the planet).

22. Do you tan or burn?

I go a lovely, rich, golden brown... that fades in two months if I don't go out during winter. *grouches about it, because it's the only way people will believe she has any Native ancestry*

23. Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

Au Natural, if the furnace is working...

24. Would you ever wear a thong?

No. If I want my twat flossed I'll go to my gynecologist (<-- Silver's response is too cool to delete) I've actually worn one, and I have to agree: I just canNOT understand how people don't lose their minds at the sensation of a piece of string rubbing their anal fuzz-ring the wrong way. Drove ME bonkers.

25. How big is your bed?

Not big enough to accommodate two sprawling, toss-and-turn snoozers. I think we need a bigger bedroom, too. Dragons just need a lot of snoring space.

26. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?

The Step-Monster, and since he showed up often enough, that prediction was generally valid. :angry:

27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer?

Several... Of each. We need 'em for our respective jerbs.

28. What was the last thing that really made you laugh?

The two-month old journal that  silverone had posted containing this meme. Really- she's effing hilarious.

29. What color are your sheets?

Currently? A blah sort of beige with blah goldish swirlies on it. It used to look brighter, but a hundred washings can fade a thing, ya know?

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Three- one's my hubby, another is stuffed dragon, and... the regular sort. . Who needs more than that?

31. What is your favorite season?

Don't really have one- I like 'em all. Well Spring in California has a special place in my heart. >^___^<

33. What do you like about winter?

It's pretty, fun to watch the chipmunks romp around in it, it's pretty, it's gawdz-awfully hard to paint, and did I mention it's pretty?

34. What do you like about the summer?

I can go outside and work in the garden! Mind you, I do that in spring, too.

35. What is your favorite aspect of spring?

Getting dirty with soil and starting my compost pile. Yeah, I'm boring. LOL

36. How many states/provinces have you lived in?

Manitoba, British Columbia, and California.

37. What cities/towns have you lived in?

The murder-capital of Canada, Winnipeg *sighs for her home-town*, a logging town with eight shut-down wood/pulp mills in B.C called Merritt, Valley Village (somewhere between the arse-hole of North Hollywood and dry, dusty and boring as hell Van Nuys), and Crestline, the only flaw here being the religionistas I earlier mentioned. Man, there are a LOT of True Believers in this place- the kind that listen to creeps like Bob Larson, that blow-hard dude who does the stadium-filling Harvest meet-ups (every other vehicle I see up here has one of those fucking stickers advertising the thing on it, and they're almost always a truck) or Glenn Beck (yeah, I sometimes think that cretin is trying to start his own repulsive little, hate-mongering, fear-inducing, muckraking religion to shit on anyone he doesn't like (IE; anyone with a darker skin than his or less wealthy... Oh, wait, we already have one like that, and it went mainstream almost two-thousand years ago).

38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?

Whatever the season dictates. Right now, it's colder than the Koch brother's hearts, so I'm wearing two pairs of socks. They aren't helping, much.

39. Are you a social person?

When I'm on my meds, yes...

40. What was the last thing you ate?

A Young Earth Creationist (I so wanna leave Silver's reply here- it's made of awesome). Though, latey, I've had a yen to nom every-fucking neighbour's dog that won't STOP FUCKING BARKING...

41. What is your favorite restaurant?

Any place with good sushi. Try Ugly Roll near Santa Monica. I'm serious. This place is TINY, has junky furniture, a collection of manga on shelves on the wall for customers to read, paper on the walls behind removable slats so you can draw on it and the shittiest markers on earth to do that with. LOL Oh, the food? It's grand stuff, cheap as dirt and they give you nice-sized portions. And their ginger ice-cream is to die for (it's only flaw: you have to wait for it to melt a bit, 'cuz it's hard as a fucking rock when you get it). So is the Green Tea, and the Red-Bean...

Dammit, now I'm craving some nice salmon sashimi...

42. What is your favorite kind of ice cream?

It has been proven to be scientifically impossible for me to tell which is my favourite... Well, I'm a little leery of the avocado ice-cream you can get at F&M Pho 333 seafood market... But, I still want to try it.

43. What is your favorite dessert?

Stupid people (<--I fuckin' HOWLED at that. And, she's so right, too. They're thick and juicy, with just the right amount of fat on 'em from so many doughnuts, that if you roll 'em in batter and deep-fry 'em, then cover in sugar... Delish. )

44. What is your favorite kind of soup?

Stupid people meat balls in pho bac broth with lemon-grass, raw green onion, vermicelli noodles and light vegetables... Heh.

45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?

Congealed stupid people (LOL Silver's again, mine -->) Actually, I love black-currant jam with lots of pulp. Marmalade is in dead heat with the black-currant.

46. Do you like Chinese food?

Yes, especially when it fights back (<--Silver's, mine--->) I was curious to try something living and trying like hell to get away, then I was put off it when I saw the main character eat a live octopus in a Korean film called "Old Boy". It wasn't faked, either... *grieves for the poor octopus*

47. Do you like coffee?

I like it a fair bit, but I got spoiled off of the quotidian shit most people think is "coffee" after having a decent home-blended, home-ground vanilla chai (it's usually done with tea, but coffee works great, too)- made with actually rather ordinary beans- brewed in a Bodum. I so fucking WANT one of those things...

48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average?

One in the morning with my meds and supplements and one at night for the second dose of meds. Otherwise, it's a three-litre jug of home-made chai tea- which is made of awesome, not boring old water.

49. What do you drink in the morning?

Plain old glacier-cold mountain water.

50. What church/temple/synagogue/other do you attend?

The Goudist temple of Saint Edam of Bombast, Profitess (sp is deliberate) of the Way of Cheese. Trust cheese, cheese is your friend. Cheese is in everything, nay cheese IS everything, and cheese created Elvis and should get the royalties. Prato Prato Ram Edam! Brie Brie Ram Edam Yarg!

(in case anyone doesn't know, the last bit of lunacy are all varieties of cheese, except the "ram" bit)

51. When was the last time you went to church/temple/synagogue/other?

Today, since I live there- the Goudist Temple is my house.

52. Have you ever said the words to a prayer and not really meant it?

I mean every prayer to the Divine Gouda... Heh

53. Do you like to cuddle?

Yep, but if you aren't my mate, I ain't goin' any further than that, and, if you persist or try to get pervy, I might just try the pho soup recipe...

54. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?

I swim from one side to the other all night long and wake up in a twisty pretzel of bedsheets either on the floor or wedged in the crack between the bed and wall (<-- I actually used to do this... Silver's). 'm more boring: I snooze on the right side.

55. Regarding your future, what is the best thing you could hope for?

To be recognized for my ungodly talent and sheer genius, have people rain money on me just for the privilege of being in my presence, and to be begged to use my perspicacity in service to the world. Nah, just to be happy, successful with my artings, stay in love with my golden dragon and stuff.

56. Have you ever gotten stage fright?

Were any of you at last year's Adult Dragon Panel at FC? Then you'll know what I'm like under the influence of stage fright- hilarious. Thing is, someone will have to tell me what it was I'd said to have the audience pissing themselves, 'cuz I don't remember a lick of it... Jeesh, you'd think the personality-unit that I call the Comedian would fucking WRITE THIS SHIT DOWN.

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

Not really, but I have seen some really odd things I couldn't explain. I put it off to either fatigue, or some natural effect science hasn't figured out how to play with, yet. Either that, or someone slipped me something in my drink.

58. Do you know how to play poker?

Yes. Poorly. But I often win anyway. Go figure.

59. Do you want kids?

I'd rather have the coconut shrimp but if kids is all you have, then sure. (omigawd... Silver, yer EVIL) Me, I'll have to adopt, since I'm genetically-fucked (severe mental-illness four generations running, and that's just my mum's side of the family!) and getting too old to breed. The crazies run like a bad road through the Appalachians, with the hillbillies on your trail 'cuz they think you're with the "revenuers", or they're trying to get you to pork their inbred daughters, I'm not sure... Suffice to say, otehr than my creativity nad intelligence, I got nuthin' worth passing on, genetics-wise (and the jury's still out on the intelligence).

60. Do you speak any other languages?

Passable English, terrible French, a pittance in Spanish and German. In short, English, bad English, Nerd, Geek, Felinese (necessary when owned by a cat), and a bit of Canine (too many dogs around here not to. Besides, there's one Malamute/wolf mix who seems to love me, and it's awesome to hear her say hello when we go by her place for walks).

What do you mean, animals don't have languages? We're animals... And, I wanna learn Dolphin.

61. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?

The internal alarm I had installed by the Borg doesn't have a snooze-button. If I try to ignore it, it gives me shocks, instead. Ow. The really annoying thing is that I keep hearing commands from the damned Collective, and they told me that wouldn't happen. Last time I go to the Borg for tech-stuff! *gives them a bad review on Yelp*

62. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time?

The mile-long hike we've been getting into the habit of doing to lose some fecking weight. If you think a mile is nothing for a hike, then you haven't gone for walkies on a mountain at 5700 ft elevation on streets with more slope than level.

63. Have you ever written a letter to a politician?

Quite a few as comments appended to petitions that get handed to politicians as my part in the public-annoyance-effort of fat, over-moneyed jerkwads who need heart-transplants and the surgical removal of themselves from the Koch brother's tit.

64. When flying, do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seats?

Can I have a seat on the wing? I like the feel of the wind in my hair... Seriously? Gimme a window seat every time. Flying is FUN. Not up to hang-gliders, yet, though Kani keeps encouraging me to try for it.

65. Do you know how to drive a stick?

Maybe with a five-pound sledge... I still balk at doing sharp curves and traffic on busy highways. *cringe*

66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?

Now, there's a long list... Heh. Fabric supplies, beading and jewellery supplies, art-supplies, sewing-supplies... Hmm, I'm starting to see a trend, there. LOL Also, Goth-Punk clothes, anything Steampunk, cool jewellery, and total "I'm-a gonna kill you " boots for the ass-holes I meet on occasion.

67. What's your preferred method of paying for things?

Barter- "If I give you this, will you gimme that? DO WANT." Other than that, it's Paypal online.

68. What is/are your favorite TV show/s?

Gee, it's been nearly a year since I watched any TV other than Netflix and Hulu... Full-Metal Alchemist, Invader Zim *cries because it got cancelled*, CSI, Nova *growls because they get funding from the Koch ho's*, Warehouse 13, Nat-Geo's Taboo, and other stuff like that: entertainment, silliness, absurdia, and neat stuff about other cultures.

69. Can you roll your tongue?

Yup. And fold it front to back. I can also lick my nose... >:) *chuckles as she recalls that scene from Road-Warrior: "Better watch out, lady. I've seen him lick his eyebrows!"*

70. Who is the funniest person you know?

Know personally? I got nuthin'. On the 'net? Draw between  silverone and  2_gryphon

71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Yeah, and anyone who wants to give me guff about it better remember that I'm capable of picking up a 210 lb man off the floor by his nipples.

72. What is the main ring tone on your phone?

I dunno- it's been that long since I've actually used the thing. Also, see above answer about phones...

73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little?

FUCK no! Let the seventies STAY dead! Orange, beige and brown EVERYTHING with a dash of too-old-to-eat avocado to spice things up... In PLAID. Ughhhhblarrrgh-gurgle. *shudders at the memory*

74. What red object is closest to you right now?

The trackball on my mouse. *plays with the shiny, lit up ball...*

75. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones)?

Listening to Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachmann would be preferable. Wait... What was the question again? I think my IQ dropped just from mentioning those two airheads. O___o

76. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?

Closed. Diva keeps thinking mice are in there. Unfortunately, sometimes she's right. That, and it keeps the heat in, or else it'll be sucked out of our room like the intelligence from FOX-viewers.

77. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?

Bear. It's really hard to get "bad-ass" points from smushing a hive of bees unless you're twelve and doing an intense version of the "pussy contest" (you and your buddies scratch at each other's skin and keep going, even until you bleed, to see who can take the pain better).

That, and I've always kinda wanted to rassle a bear...

78. Do you flirt a lot?

That would assume I even know how. I'm about as subtle as a brick wrapped in roses. It's also less than attractive when I have to keep wiping the drool off my double-chins when I see a hot dragon pic.

79. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?

I don't eat them- if I can't actually identify if there's actually any real meat in there, I ain't fookin' eatin' it. Though, those vegetarian faux pork, chicken and beef stir-fry things are made of pure awesome... and tofu.

80. What are you most afraid of?

Converting to Fundie Christianity and actually believing in the shit. Actually, it's looking stupid and being abandoned, which is what might happen if I convert of some form of crazy Fundie Christianity.

81. Can you change the oil on a car?

That's what a husband is for... Actually, I'll probably learn how eventually, just 'cuz.

82. Have you ever run out of gas?

Nope, haven't driven more than thirty miles, yet. Haven't gone long-distance. When I do, it'll be just my luck for the car to conk out on an ancient part of old Rout 66, somewhere in Arizona, with no towns within a hundred miles, and I'll be so grateful to be given a lift by those kind, but oddly deformed people who live near the nuclear-testing site (which movie? Come on... LOL It's well-known, so I'll probably get a ton of right answers)...

83. Sum yourself up in 10 words or less.

Still finding my way through the thickets of my insanity.

84. If you were an evil bastard, what would you be doing?

Taking ruler-ship of the world for myself and anyone I like (wait, do I actually like anyone enough to give 'em all the perks I want for me? Hmm, something to ponder) from the corporations and making them be my maid-servants. Even the men. I like a cute, pudgy guy in a skirt...

85. What was the last book you read?

The PTSD Workbook- I committed the cardinal sin of bibliophiles, too: I wrote in it.

86. Do you read the newspaper?

No. Too many of them are owned by Rupert Murdoch or Conrad Black. *growls* I prefer getting my news from somewhat more neutral places.

87. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?

No, but if anyone is thinking of getting me something for Generic Solstice and Gift-Giving Celebration, I have a list:

New Scientist
Scientific American
National Geographic
Wired
Ornament


89. Do you watch soap operas?

I'm not stupid enough, yet, to find them entertaining. I'll have to watch some FOX news for a bit- then I'll get back to ya.

90. If you were taking a poop and eating a bowl of cereal at the same time and you dropped the cereal, which would you do: finish pooping then clean up the cereal or clean up the cereal then finish pooping?

If I snorted a line of crack off a block of heroine, downed it with a Jack Daniel’s-PCP slurpy, then fell face first into a bucket of dopamine, I still don’t think I would be able to concoct a more ridiculous question. I would probably be able to fly to the dark side of Neptune, but I wouldn’t be able to trump that. To whoever invented this question, congratulations on being the first person ever to make my brain come to a complete, screeching halt.

(I think I'll just leave this here. Thanks, Silver! Yer awesomesauce)

91. Who is in the picture frame closest to you?

*tries to remember which wedding photo in the living-room is closest* One of those- probably me and Kani in our wedding finery and our dragon heads.

92. Jane Austen, yea or nay?

BURN HER! SHE'S A WITCH!! I mean, how else to explain how her writing got so many people thinking her stuff is Classic Lit? *shudders* Gawdz, her crud was BOOOOORING

93. What was the last note you scribbled on a piece of paper?

A quick synopsis for my next comic with Mae Hem and Miss Chief discussing their human's spawn and how to get it to stop screaming. The human walks in just as one of the cats is putting a pillow over the grub's face...

94. What is your favorite candle scent?

Dragon's Blood, Patchouli, or Precious Chandan (that is, if any of those existed as a scented candle)- for more obtainable sniff-candy, stuff that smells like the woods after a rain, Christmas-y pine and bayberry scents, or vanilla.

95. What is your favorite board game?

I don't actually play any. Though Scrabble is a lot of fun- that's because I almost always win.

97. How is your relationship with your mother?

Freely wandering between "fuck, she's CRAZY!", "Huh, she's a bit more open-minded than I'd thought. At least she isn't saying horrific stuff like 'homosexuals go to hell' any more..." , "She's gonna KILL her fool self with those gawdz-awful cigarettes..." to "How stupid, ignorant or gullible can you BE, woman?" (regarding her attachment to the teat of religion- really out there, evangelical religion where she's actually studying to be a lay-minister, planning on giving up her life in Winnipeg and moving across the country to the west coast to found her ministry...)

98. Who was your favorite teacher in high school?

I had a trifecta of cool teachers: Miss Cooley- art, Mr. Sudermann- science and biology (his absolute stinker of a collection of jokes and horrific puns was worthy of being bronzed), and Mrs. Langdon, the prim and proper British lady who taught us Literature. On the other hand, I fecking HATED my peers... By far, I always preferred adults- I could actually TALK to them.

99. What is the longest you have ever camped out in a tent?

Over a month in a solidarity protest during the Oka stand-off. It was also one of the few times where I was utterly, completely and joyously proud of my mother- she actually WENT to Montreal and sat on the barricades, facing soldiers in a TANK. That was awesome, Mum.

If you don't know what Oka was about- you can look it up, but here's a really quick summary (I'm like;ly spelling the Anishinaabe names wrong, so bear with me): Oka, outside of Kanasetake, Quebec. The Mohawk nation living there discovered that there was to be a land-grab for part of their already dwindled Reserve by Provincial agencies, so it could be sold to a golf/country club to use as extra holes in their golf course. No one on Kanasitake Reserve would ever be allowed to be a member there. The site was also their burial ground. They'd tried the legal-route for literally YEARS, but, failing that and frustrated, they barricaded the place, preventing any equipment access to the Rez. It turned into a short shooting war where a cop was killed (blamed on the Mohawks, but turned out to be friendly-fire from behind)... Prime Minister Mulroney actually called Martial Law on this one, thus, the tank my Mum later stared down... Go, Mum!

100. Who was the last person to do something extra special for you?

Aw, geez, there's been too many, lately. My mate,  kanis for his patience and willingness to spend any amount of money he has to in order for me to get well. His mother, for giving me a gift of $$ with too many zeros for me to believe it was real- just because I'd complained a few weeks earlier about feeling trapped into having to beg Kani for anything, even a doughnut, because I didn't have any money of my own. All of the people I owe commissions to for being so understanding with my failure/inability to meet obligations during the meltdown... There are probably more, but I'm getting derpy with fatigue and can't remember right now.

Off to sleep, and then, work on more art tomorrow! Later!

An old friend of my mate's, and a new friend of mine,  athus, was killed in a car-crash on October 11th. We were already on the road up to Canada to visit some other pals of mine who are fighting their own potentially-deadly ills (cancer, both of them, colon and multiple myeloma). I will most likely be mourning one of them within the next couple of years (yer tough,  horsieboy ! You've beaten this once, maybe you can do it again I really don't like it when my friends die- I don't have many to lose... O___o

*sighs* Kani and I only heard about Athus' passing yesterday morning... We've been on the road for the last two weeks and haven't been online much.

I liked that dragon- he was shy around folks he didn't know well, but still friendly. We got along, even though he barely knew me from all the other fans of his art. I was a relative newcomer to his circle of acquaintances. I will fondly remember that tall, too-thin frame, dressed in his almost trademarked half-gloves, stripy shirts, the cloth scarf thing he wore around his neck, those goggles (I might be confusing his mode of dress with  syrinoth 's. I do that- stupid prosopagnosia), that long hair, his quiet demeanor and the little smile he'd give for things he liked or found funny... I even got to hang out with him and the Bad Dragon crew in their room, one year at FC (2009? Or was it 2010?) for one of their "infamous" room-parties, though why they were infamous is beyond me. All we did was stuff any other bunch of friends would do: hang out, yak, tell stories, share a brew or two. Ok, we were also perusing Bad Dragon's first line of adult toys... *snerks*

I was mostly too shy to do much other than be a wallflower, hanging at the edges of the room. It was Athus and Narse who drew me out by asking me about the possibility of making pose-able artists' figures of dragons, gryphons, etc. I loved the idea, but didn't have the means to make them at the time. I know how they're built, now, but... *shrugs* Now Athus can't appreciate his concept in final form. *snuffles*

I liked his art, but I think I liked <i>him</i> more.

We're all gonna miss you, man. I hope, if reincarnation is real, that you get to have your sea-dragon form. <3

Expect some memorial art in the next bit- something came to me while I was posting my condolences on  narse 's page. Poor Narse, he has to bear the greater weight in this, the partner he loved is now gone...

Athus, fly free, dear dragon, or swim, as the case may be- we'll be here for Narse if he needs us.

'Cuz this old dragon is learning to drive! RAWR.

Actually, I'm scared to death. O__O I'm in a four-thousand lb + vehicle that could cause so much damage...

Anyway, me and  kanis went to the local DMV, where I took the written test to get me Learner's Permit (they call 'em Instructional Permits here, but I like the Canadian name more)- aced it on the first try. Woot! I still got errors, but not enough to fail me.

Drove my mate's Prius right after. We went and found a nice, quiet, low-traffic street with few parked cars on it, and he encouraged me to drive slowly around the block a couple of times. Note to self: my turning is LOUSY. I SUCK AT IT. Bizarrely enough, I'm pretty good at pulling up to the curb without hitting it, and the car was straight and at the legal distance each time. Weird, I expected that to be harder. LOL

We haven't gotten into doing anything for any distance, yet, or going in reverse, but that's coming soon- probably tomorrow.

So, to all you folks on the road-ways: FEAR ME, MURRAH'S BEHIND THE WHEEL!

In other news: I'm gonna be gone for three weeks- part of it is depression stuff, part of it is visiting those two friends of mine up North who are sick. We're going to be taking out time, see if I can't mellow out and stop it with the fucking panic-attacks already... Ugh. I hate those things. What the fuck do you do when you have all the symptoms of a panic attack- the trembles, weakness, tingles or numbness, the heart thudding like it's the Chest-burster wanting OUT, NOW- and no actual FEAR? I don't get it, but the shrink sez it's possible. I'm gonna pester my GP on this one, 'cuz it's really getting on my nerves when I'm trying to sleep and this thudding heart thing is keeping me awake. I'm on the the second or third week of broken sleep, insomnia entire and general tossing-and-turning, nightmares, other weird-ass dreams, and trying to entertain myself with the patterns on the inside of my eyelids, or the contents of my oh-so-much-fun memories of my childhood at four in the Ack-Emma...

This old lizard is gettin' cranky. She needs her beauty-sleep, dammit.

I know it's late for the MLP week thingy- I'm often late on things like that. Pfft! Doesn't stop me none. I figured, since Murrah had been hit with some mysterious stranger's transmogrification gun and ponified, I might as well put her current appearance to good use: expressing her rage at the loss of her so-precious dignity. LOl

In other news, I've actually been working! Holy fuck. Got three pieces of art for FC half-done, been cleaning the workroom (again- I swear, that never seems to end), with the intent of opening up the space more so it's easier to do stuff in there. As it is now, it's far too crowded. Dammit, I had almost half again the amount of space in the old apartment! Here, I actually have tons of space, too, but it's broken up between three different locations, two of which are used primarily for other things, like storage. So, the garage is done and set up for foaming heads, paws, etc, also for working with volatiles, like Barge. Do you KNOW how much that shit REEKS? In a closed room, you'll get fuckin' high, breathing the fumes from the stuff. So, I want it outside, in the garage, where I can open both doors...

The other "location" is actually the dining-room and laundry-space, but we have shelves in there so I can keep my sewing books in there, and the laundry-room will get some shelves, too.

Gonna do some rearranging in the work-room, as well as sorting through some of my older materials- I'm going to be offering some stuff up on Etsy for anyone who might be interested in beads, and quilting or upholstery fabrics. Basically, I'm getting rid of stuff I bought years ago, but never used, so I might as well get some of my $$ back and some space in the bargain.

Some new stuff is gonna show up in my Etsy shop, too, like those neato little cameo pins I had at FC (no one bought any, poo). Been getting more into the marketing end of Etsy and Face-book, too as a way to get more eyeballs on my wares.

Check 'em out, if you like:

FB: http://www.facebook.com/AlienEyesCreations

And Etsy: http://www.etsy.com/shop/AlienEyesCreations

I am hoping to start gearing up for FC, but since I'm only on the waiting-list for a Dealer's Den table (they sold out within a frakkin' month! Fuk-berries), I either might not be going this year, or I'll be in the Furry Market like I was in 2009.

Adult Dragon Panel: despite my stage-fright, I wanna do it again, since it was so fun. So, if I go to FC, I'll at least have some stuff in the Art Show and I'll be my usually crazed self at the ADP.

Other than that, I have been working on commissions: slowly, but doing it, instead of the dead-stall I've been the last five months. Go, go Wellbutrin!

Yah, still short, still married, still crazy after all these years.

You guys have been awesomely patient with my dropping out on you so often this last year, and I appreciate it tons!