As of October 22nd 2025 at 1pm (GMT +1), I am no longer open for sketch portrait commissions. In other words, all sketch portrait slots are closed indefinitely.

I feel relieved to confirm that, despite having almost lost all hope, I have not thrown away my life, and I do not wish to waste it.

I am still alive, and I am now seeking medical help for regulating my volatile emotions so that I do not suffer nor cause any more life-threatening meltdowns in the future.

Furthermore, I deeply apologise to everyone whom I worried over the past few days.

I am not prepared to war. I am an untrained civillian. Nonetheless, in the event in which war is inevitable, I will not fight for one nation nor another. Instead, I will fight for myself against all nations.

World After Midnight, my homebrew World of Darkness (5th edition) setting primer, is now available for download in PDF format via the Storytellers Vault!

This chronicle setting was built around numerous Vampire, Werewolf and Hunter characters which I created and portrayed over the past half-decade, from clashing Kindred coteries in New York to disillusioned Garou packs in Hampshire.

This homebrew World of Darkness primer contains:

1. Chronicles set in England, North America, and Japan
2. Four new Vampire coteries – one coterie per sect
3. Two new Werewolf packs – one pack per sept
4. Three new Hunter cells – one cell per nation
5. Loresheets for Vampires, Werewolves, and Hunters

Please visit the Storytellers Vault or search the title "World After Midnight" for more details! Thank you!!

Everything I do is personal, for better and for worse. Anyone whom threatens, deceives, or slanders me is my enemy. None shall control my heart, least of all my enemies. Wrath is my greatest vice, fuelled by my diabolical prudence. Better to be truly feared than to be falsely loved.

As of December 21st 2024, I have created a new social media feed on Bluesky with the handle mysteryezekude.bsky.social! After the New Year begins, I will have deactivated my Twitter/X account after several years of usage. So, if you are or have been following my Twitter/X feed, now is your chance to find me as Bluesky whilst you can. Thank you!

Back in July 2020, I frustatedly announced my retirement from writing stories and poems due to creative burnout.

Two and a half years have passed since then. And, after spending two years creating and running my own tabletop role-playing games, I've got some really good news to share with my family, friends and fans alike:

I've changed my mind! I've decided to come out of retirement and continue writing!

After playing Vampire: The Masquerade's New York Bundle of visual novels which were on sale at Nintendo eShop this Monday, I felt overwhelmed with extraordinary inspiration after playing through both games!

So now, just like with my debut Dungeons and Dragons campaign setting that is Incognitus Tales, I've decided to start working on a World of Darkness anthology which will re-tell the stories of characters I created and portrayed in various chronicles made both by me and fellow Storytellers over the past three and a half years!

Long story short: I quit writing two and a half years ago but now I'm back to write new stories! Stay tuned for more details!

Here's to happy storytelling!

Wow! It's been a long time since I last updated my blog on this website! In case you were wondering what I've been up to, I've been mostly producing music and playing tabletop role-playing games online, namely Vampire: The Masquerade. In fact, I know most of the rules of the game so well that I recently started creating and running my own Vampire: The Masquerade chronicles.

Last year, I created and ran an open-world chronicle titled Red Strings which starred a coterie of fledglings learning to adapt to vampirism and Kindred society in present-day Winchester, England. I had fun having my wonderful players interact with my non-player characters and in-game world as well as each other. Sadly though, after running it for three months, I ended up cancelling this game due to boredom and lack of direction.

This year, I've had better luck with two games set in New Orleans, Louisiana: a one-shot called A Night in New Orleans and its sequel chronicle called New Orleans After Dark. This time around, I gave both these games a concrete goal and narrative for the players to follow. As a result, I've had a lot more fun running these games than with Red Strings.

I recently picked up the latest Dungeon Master's Guide for Dungeons & Dragons too. So, hopefully, I'll be creating and running my own Dungeons & Dragons campaigns by this autumn!

Now that my journey as an EDM (electronic dance music) producer is in full swing, I figured it's high time that I make myself a new website to showcase my music and art to everyone! I hope to attract new fans and future collaborators so that I can bring wonderful projects to fruition.

You'll find my new website at mysteryezekude.co.uk. Thanks for reading!

After one and a half years of having no goals to fulfil and no ambition to pursue, I finally know what I’d like to do next with my life. I’d like to become an EDM (electronic dance music) producer.

I have over seven years of experience with creating music and manipulating sound. And, after seven years of using basic DAWs (digital audio workstations) on my video game consoles, I believe it’s time I start taking music creation more seriously.

So, for the next 90 days, I’m going to dedicate myself to learning how to use FL Studio, one of the most popular DAWs used worldwide, as well as familiarising myself with music theory, songwriting and sound design.

So far, I’ve set myself a primary goal to create and produce one song every week or fortnight. In three months time, I’ll have produced at least six fresh original songs to cherish. And, if I have the time, I may be able to produce even more.

This is going to be a very musical autumn. In the meantime, you can listen to all the music I’ve created so far on Soundcloud. Wish me luck and stay tuned!

If you're interested in listening to all the music I've made so far, you'll find it at soundcloud.com/mystery-ezekude. Thank you and take care!

Despite my country going back into lockdown, I was able to maintain my mood over the past three months with games, film and music.

Over the weeks, I got to watch various musical films with my grandparents including An American in Paris, Grease, Hairspray and South Pacific. I enjoyed watching them one by one.

Plus, last month, I started hosting my own Vampire: The Masquerade chronicle online as its Storyteller. Up until recently, I've always been content with being a player of tabletop role-playing games (e.g. Dungeons and Dragons) and not a Game Master. But, since nobody was hosting a fifth edition Vampire: The Masquerade chronicle online, I decided to make and run my own. It's going pretty well so far and I believe my players are enjoying the game every Saturday night.

After the lockdown restrictions are lifted over time, I hope to see more of my country in the future. If there were two places I really wanted to visit in England, they would be Bath and Brighton. I wouldn't want to visit those places when all the shops and museums are closed, so I'll most likely have to wait until summer. So far, that's the only thing I'm looking forward to this year.

I've only just realized that music wouldn't exist without mankind. And I love music. Next to electricity, I think music is one of mankind's greatest inventions.

Music allows us to play with sound and create millions of songs to sing and dance to. Music comes in all kinds of forms and can be composed and performed in immeasurable ways. Without music, life would be dull and monotonous.

Since I’ve exhausted my potential and inspiration for my art and writing, all I can do creatively is make music.

So, from now on, it’ll be making music for me throughout the year. I figured it’s the least I can do with my time, even if nobody listens to the tunes I create apart from me and my family.

Wish me luck...or maybe not. I don’t have much use for luck nowadays.

2020 has been a very difficult year for everyone, thanks to the accursed coronavirus pandemic.

Before the pandemic started, I was already losing faith in myself and hope for the future.

So, when my country first went into lockdown, it was the last straw for me. I felt like my eight years of hard work and self-cultivation were all for nothing.

Thankfully, I still had my family to give me emotional support week after week. Plus, I had games like Animal Crossing and Dragon Quest to occupy myself with during my alone time.

So, although 2020 has been the worst year of my life so far, I owe it to my family, games, film and music for making it bearable for me.
To everyone who has helped me get through this lonesome year, thank you all. Merry Christmas.

Well, there’s only one month of 2020 left. I think it’s been the most difficult year of my life, even before the pandemic started.
Thankfully, I had my family to support me whenever I needed them most as well as games, television and music to occupy myself with day after day. So, if it weren’t for all these things in my life, this year would’ve been bleak and miserable.

This has been a miserable and empty year through and through.

My New Year's Resolution for this year was to get back in shape, both physical and psychologically, and make new friends to socialise with. Alas, I have failed miserably. As of now, I have no friends to trust my feelings with and I have become fat and overweight.

Worse yet, having lost both the inspiration and the motivation to paint pictures, write stories and compose songs, I've done almost nothing productive with my time. All I've ever done over the months is watch videos, play games, listen to music and spend brief time with my mother and grandmother week after week.

If this is all I'll be doing with my life, perhaps I really don't have a future after all. Maybe I've wasted my entire life chasing after dreams that haven't come true and probably never will. It makes me wonder why I even bother with life at all.

Well, summer is coming to an end and this felt like the longest summer ever, what with the accursed coronavirus pandemic still ongoing. I haven't been able to do much this summer apart from play games, watch movies and help my parents out with their garden.

Normally, summer is a time for getting out and about and doing whatever you feel like. But, because of the ongoing pandemic, my options have been severely limited. So, most days, I feel like I have nothing to do and just end up sleeping.

Even though restrictions are being lifted during this pandemic, I still don't have any hope for the future. Things may improve for other people, but they won't improve for me. I'll probably just end up sleeping in for the rest of the year. I honestly wish I could just sleep through the entire pandemic and wake up when it's all over.

My 27th birthday honestly came and went like any other ordinary day. I didn't ask for much this year as I have too much stuff already. I don't feel any wiser or matured and I'm unsure about how I may wish to spend the 27th year of my life. Nonetheless, I'm grateful to my friends and family who wished me a happy birthday.

Needless to say, this has not been a good year for me so far.

Before the accursed pandemic started, I was already depressed and feeling hopeless, having lost the inspiration and motivation which made last year so successful for me. Despite seeking new friends and professional help, my mood remained low.

After the pandemic started, my mental health gradually got worse and I lost all faith in myself and the world around me. Eventually, things got so bad that I had to be admitted to hospital for the first time in seven years. But, this time, I was detained and admitted against my will after the night I tried to kill myself with a medication overdose. The morning I was detained was the worst day of my life.

After a two-week stay in hospital, I was thankfully discharged and reunited with my family and home. Since then, I've been maintaining my mood with games, television and music while receiving cognitive behavioural therapy over the phone.

As of now, I'm not feeling as depressed and miserable as I was at the start of this year. In fact, I'm making an effort to pass the time productively by working on pictures and songs every now and then. I even have Dungeons & Dragons, which I started playing last week, to look forward to every Monday night.

But I still feel like I'm lacking meaning and purpose in my life. I've been feeling this way since last December. Very often, I'm not sure why I do the things I do. Nor am I sure what kind of person I am. Most of the time, I just see myself as nothing more than a person who really likes games and the arts. I wonder if that's all I am...

Over the past three months, I unfortunately gained 9 lbs of weight due to a lack of exercise throughout and being generally inactive. As a result, I've sadly become overweight and out of shape.

Therefore, I've decided to resuming playing Ring Fit Adventure on the Nintendo Switch (which I haven't played for three whole months until now) to undergo aerobic and resistance training at least 10-20 minutes each day.

Hopefully, this'll help me either burn the weight I've gained or prevent myself from gaining any more weight.

On April 23rd 2020, the worst day of my life so far, I was admitted to hospital due to severe depression and emotional dysregulation. Thankfully, the doctors and nurses took good care of me, keeping me well-fed and cheering me up with occupational therapy.

On May 5th, I was happily discharged from hospital and I'm truly glad to be home. Never before have I felt this grateful to have friends, family and freedom.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me in the past. Thank you to everyone who supports me now in the present. And thank you to everyone who may support me in the future.

Since March 20th, my family and I have been enjoying ourselves with Animal Crossing: New Horizons, an island life simulation game on the Nintendo Switch.

In this game, our avatars live on deserted islands and engage in various activities (e.g. fishing, bug catching, fossil hunting, crafting, decorating, etc.) to develop them into full-fledged towns.

This game helps me to keep my spirits up in these worrisome times. Thanks to Animal Crossing, I have something to look forward to each day. Plus, this game is playable online so I can play it with my family without having to leave my home.

So, thank you, Animal Crossing, for cheering me up.

This is turning out to be the worst year of my life.

Ever since losing my creative spark last December, things have went downhill from there as I've been clinically depressed for months. And, despite seeking professional help and trying to make new friends earlier this year, things have not improved for me at all.

In all the time I've spent trying to improve my mood, I've felt no genuine connection with people whatsoever. Even when I'm surrounded by people, I feel as alone as I've ever been.

And, now that things have taken a turn for the worse with the ongoing coronavirus pandemic, I've lost all hope for the future. I have no faith in myself or other people. Everything I've said and done over the past two decades is now meaningless.

Nothing matters to me anymore. Nobody matters to me anymore. So why do I even bother?

Coming up to December, I believe this has been a productive and enlightening but also lonely and frustrating year for me.

The best thing I did this year was volunteer for the Eastleigh Twinning Association for eight months as a Researcher and Marketing/PR Designer for their Twinning Exhibition this year. This gave me the opportunity to not only use my creative skills to give back to my local community but also meet various important people including Councillor Godfrey Olson (before he passed away this summer) and Iris Price.

The worst thing I did this year was to allow my stress and frustrations (i.e. being alone and sometimes verbally harassed) to boil over this autumn with serious consequences. So I'm now seeking anger management to keep my feelings and impulse under control as well as local social groups to make sure I make new friends to spend time with and get to know.

Although I have done quite a lot since this spring, I felt like it was all undone by my most recent public mental breakdown. Therefore, my New Year's Resolution will be to get back into shape, physically and psychologically, and make new friends to socialize with.

For me, the first half of this year has been productive, meaningful, enlightening and emotional with a few harrowing setbacks each month.

Ever since I started volunteering for the Eastleigh Twinning Association this February, I’ve been more conscious about world affairs than ever before. I took the time to review multiple branches of philosophy and psychology to decide for myself how to perceive the world around me.

And, with my local peer support group being held once a week, I’ve been able to exchange experiences and advice with my fellow attendees. This has helped me improve my conversation skills over the months little-by-little.

Unfortunately, I’m still prone to many stressful setbacks, from my impulsive tendencies to other people’s apathy, from time to time. Not too long ago, I botched a new friendship within days by trying too hard to help them out and make a good impression. This particular incident made me reconsider how I reach out to others.

Worse yet, there are many times when I feel angered by and disgusted with people in general for the damage they do to each other. These frustrations clashes with my desire to help decent people just as they helped me. Despite my pledge towards peace, mercy and justice, there’s still a part of me that cries out for revenge towards everyone who hurt me and the people I care about. However, I’m afraid of both hurting people and being hurt by them. This is what keeps me from completely giving in to anger.

So, long story short, I still have a long and bumpy road ahead of me...