X.x

I'm afraid of:

[x] the dark
[ ] staying single forever
[ ] being a parent
[ ] giving birth
[X] being myself in front of others
[x] open spaces
[x] closed spaces
[ ] heights
[ ] dogs
[ ] birds
[ ] fish
[X] spiders
[ ] flowers or other plants
So far: 5

[ ] being touched
[ ] fire
[ ] deep water
[ ] snakes
[ ] silk
[ ] the ocean
[x] failure
[ ] success
[ ] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[ ] my boyfriend's/girlfriend's dad
[ ] my boyfriend's/girlfriend's mom
[ ] rats
[X] jumping from high places
[ ] snow
So far: 7

[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[ ] crossing hanging bridges
[x] death
[ ] heaven
[x] being robbed
[x] falling
[x] clowns
[x] dolls
[X] large crowds of people
[ ] men
[ ] women
[X] having great responsibilities
[ ] doctors, including dentists
So far: 14

[ ] tornadoes
[ ] hurricanes
[x] incurable diseases
[ ] sharks
[ ] Friday the 13th
[x] ghosts
[x] poverty
[ ] Halloween
[x] school
[x] trains
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[x] being alone
[x] becoming blind
[x] becoming deaf
So far: 22

[X] growing up
[x] creepy noises in the night
[x] bee stings
[X] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[x] needles
[ ] blood
[ ] dinosaurs
[ ] the welcome mat
[ ] high speed
[x] throwing up
[ ] falling in love
[ ] super secrets

Result: 28

If you get more than 30, I strongly recommend some counseling.
If you get more than 20, you’re paranoid.
If you get 10-20, you are normal.
If you get 10 or less, you’re fearless.

I don't know whats wrong with me...I'm damn serious and angry when I'm at home..and when I'm on conventions I'm a real goofer =_=;
Something really seems to be wrong with me...I mean.....it's not normal that one changes his mind so fast just because of so many people on small room
*sighs*
anyways...to everyone who has seen me on the Spielemesse in Essen this Saturday: sorry that I was so annoying.

*feels really bad now*

I'm trying to recover from a bronchitis and now i have a cold.
Life really seems to hate me...
I have a fever since....2 weeks now and I can't seem to get well :/
*sighs*

anyways...
I'll be on a seminar this week...
I hope that I can manage to draw something now and then when I'm there..~
*sneezes*

see you then, guys

I have a sore toe and it's been like this for some time now.
It hurts really bad and i can't walk when it starts again (yeah...it comes and goes).

So today I went to see the doc because I couldn't stand it anymore.
The doc told me that I shouln't cutt off my toenails all the time, because they get too short.
That's why I have this damn sore toe now.
So he offered me two things....
1. work with salve , this would take some weeks for it to get better...
and
2. Do a small cut near the toenail and get out all of the sanies and also use salve.

So I chose the cut......

He freezed my toe and then made a small cut.
It hurt like hell and I LAUGHED my ass off.
That's a typical reaction to pain....for me =_=


So now I'm sitting here with a bandaged toe and can't go to work for the rest of the week.
Maybe this will give me some time to draw again.....Still need to do commissions.

Hey folks....

just wanted to tell you that I won't be able to draw for a very long time...
I'll try to finish all commissions but after this there will be a long break.
My work is blocking my creativity.
I won't work 7 days a week but the weekends are even worse than the other days....
Today I noticed that I'm suffering from a bad depression again because I'm not able to see my fiancè and i'm not able to draw even the tiniest little thing.

I never felt so bad in my whole life.
I wanna start to cry the way my soul is crying inside me....but if i'd do so... I'd start hyperventilating .... and I'd faint and noone would be here to help me if this would happen...so i'm silently crying...and i hope for it to get better soon...or else I won't be able to work in the hospital I currently am working at...
*sighs*

This whole thing just started today...when I thought about the work i'm doing....and if i'd be able to do it my whole life long....
I.....I really just don#t know what to do....I feel like I'm falling into w hole with no ground.....and I really hope that...If this hole even has a ground.... tokkunbyakko will be there to catch me.....


sry for bad english...I can't even see the keyboard properly....

......