So with the new policy changes that allows them to harvest anything you share for their theft machine and making blocks effectively Mute 2, I'm deleting my Twitter account in favour of my Bluesky account, and I recommend everyone do the same.it's a much better experience overall.

...And all I got was this silly Journal post =p

We had a bit of a rough ending, but we managed to get it resolved! When the card arrived at MFF,  forth discovered the company hadn't printed the insert as I had planned, so after some panicking, we instead got the insert printed separately. Everyone's messages and art got to Rukis in the end! I want to thank everyone for helping make this a reality! I just wish I could have delivered it in person myself, but a delivery dook is the next best thing!

However, don't let me order cards based on size ever again. I think I overdid it a little...

Rukis was overjoyed! Forth got lots of hugs and Rukis was apparently holding back tears! She even said she's going to have the insert page framed! I couldn't have done this without all of you guys. Give yourselves a pat on the back, you've earned it! Everyone deserves lots of cookies!

So, bad stuff happened. I've already sent out a Note to folks who've paid for commissions, but for at least the next two months, I'll be out of it quite a bit. I wasn't sure about sharing the why at first, but I've since realized that just wallowing in my grief alone isn't going to help things, so I'm gonna explain why here...

About seven years ago, my sister and I rescued a dog from a pretty shitty situation in Wales. She (the dog that is) was a year old cavalier spaniel, adorable as hell. When we got her, it was obvious she was neglected. She was skittish, scared of everyone. Except my sister. My sister was the one who picked her up and took her, so she really bonded with her. My sister named the dog Bella, and she was so lost at first. She didn't know what to do when we let her wander around. We stopped at a rest station, let her wander to... y'know, do dog things, but she just looked up at us confused for a few seconds. But when we joked that she'd never run away, she got a ton of energy and excitement as she realized we were letting her actually wander around.

For the next two years, she improved slowly but surely. She was still frightened of men, and most women, but she always ran to my sister when scared. Bella knew that my sister meant safety and security. Time went on, she interacted with other dogs, got better about strangers... She was still a bit skittish, but if you were patient with her, she'd come up to see who you were. She started to love people again.

Today, we got the worst news. Little Bella has cancer. Late stage cancer. She only has two months left. We never noticed she was ill until recently, because Bella is a quiet dog. I've only heard her bark twice in all the years I've known her. We were offered chemotherapy, but the procedure had just as high a risk of killing her as the cancer would. She's a small dog, as you can see in this photo. But she brought so much joy to all of us in the family. And we're all devastated that such a gentle being could have such a terrible disease. We're planning to make the next two months the very best for her.

And that's why I'm going practically MIA for the next two months. Between being depressed over losing her and making sure she's comfortable, I'm going to be unable to write. I don't know if I'll even be up for taking part in the usual art streams I attend. We'll need to see, but needless, everyone's devastated. My sister and I more-so, because we saw the change, and though we did our best to give her a good life, I can't help but wonder if we could've done more...

Well, this has certainly been one hell of a past few years...

Those who know me know that five years ago, I got diagnosed with depression and put on prescription antidepressants. Three years ago, I was referred for an autism spectrum assessment, but the final part of it never got completed before I moved across the country last year. We've spent all that time since trying to get it officialized, but constant delays got in the way. Staff shortages, long waiting lists, lack of assessment facilities, you name it.

But all that came to an end yesterday. I finally got the call from my doctor. Despite the final stage of the assessment not being completed, he was confident and willing to put his name to the opinion of my previous psychologist, who assessed me with a very high indicator of autism. High-functioning autism, to be exact.

So what does this mean? What changes now? Well... nothing really. I'm not upset, I'm glad to finally have an answer. It's three years worth of stress and doubt finally lifted from my shoulders, and it opens a lot of doors in terms of support. So why even mention it if nothing's different? Honestly, I just feel like being open with folks, especially commissioners. It explains a lot of why I feel like I struggle on writing certain topics, why the urge to write seems to be so fickle, etc.

Sure, I hate to use it as an excuse already, but all I ask is a little patience and understanding while I get the support to deal with those issues and work through them. I already feel bad it's taken so long (Especially :userkuntos:'s commission, I've never written their topic before, so I wanna make sure it's as good as I can make it!), but rest assured I absolutely will get them done. The order of the queue below is exactly how I'm tackling them, and if anybody ever wants an update, feel free to contact me at any time. Queries, questions, praise, complaints, you name it! Doesn't matter why, my inbox is always open!

But yeah. tldr; not looking for sympathy, just keeping everyone in the loop. Keep being awesome to everyone, people!

Well, now that the heatwave hitting the UK has passed and the fever's broke, time to knuckle down on those commissions! If you've got something on my queue (which should be featured now), keep an eye on those DMs, I'mma slide on in there in the next couple of days with updates for you! It's my hope to at least get drafts out to commissioners before the 9th. I mean, currently that's only two, but if either of you haven't heard from me by then, please get in touch!

So what I thought was just a headache worsened and worsened. Even meds aren't working. On the upside, I have an excuse to binge Stranger Things 2 and start on 3, I guess.

So I've been getting a couple of folks asking me about writing commissions all of a sudden. I really didn't think I was good enough, but you guys and gals out there seem to disagree.

So I'm going to test the waters here. I have no idea if I'm pricing this well, so if you think I'm too expensive, let me know. I'm opening up three slots for now just to see how it goes, if I can get writing done in a timely manner, etc.. So if you're interested, let me know I'll be updating this post with my queue, as I do have some gift writing to work on currently, but commissions will take priority...

$5 for 500 words, anything extra you get for free. Got more info in my Commission Info tab.

Writing Queue

Gift -  Vellum - Writing...
Gift -  Mudwuff - In queue...
Slot 1 -  kuntos - PAID!
Slot 2 -  forth - PAID!
Slot 3 - OPEN

Waiting List

 Kanosint

Not me, but a good friend is in need of some extra cashmonies. It's a pretty shitty situation for them, so any assistance folks can spare would be greatly appreciated, by me as well as them.

Maybe if the need gets dire enough, I'll offer some short writing, folks seem to enjoy that (I have no idea why, I'm not good!) at least...

So for the past seven months, I've really been pushing Tuuwa-based art and writing. A lot of folks have been equating Tuuwa and myself. It got me thinking, do I feel more like a wolf, or more like a coyote?

I mean, lemme rewind. About twenty years ago, I first discovered the furry fandom. Back then, I was still trying to figure out a lot of things. About me, about life, etc. Back then, it was my feeling that of all the animals out there, the one I felt a strongest kinship with was a wolf. I felt so strongly about it that on my eighteenth birthday (thirteen years ago), I paid to get a wolf tattoo on my arm. Some family said I would regret it, but to this day, I don't. I still love the design. I designed wolf characters as a sort of idealistic version of what I want to be. Pretty much the whole shebang.

Then along comes about... eight months ago. After reading a lot of Rukis' Red Lantern, I had the urge to make an OC in said setting. It felt dumb and silly, but I felt I had to get it out of my system. I worked with Vellum to make a quick sketch. Then that sketch took off in terms of popularity, so I got a couple more sketches. Then some more. Then some writing and made some big plans in regards to Tuuwa as a character. Folks started confusing me for a coyote due to both how prolific Tuuwa is on my gallery and how I act quite cheerfully and bubbly around friends (along with some occasional flirtiness, but that's neither here nor there XP).

And now fast-forward to today. Here I am wondering... Do I go with what I identified as, or how people percieve me? I mean, I can see why some folks are confused, and I'm just not sure which I feel like more. =|a

I mean, I could always split the difference and identify as a coywolf I suppose XD

So I realize I haven't updated my journal in like nine months, which probably gave people the wrong idea on how things are going. I figured I should update this so folks know.

Those of you who know me directly know that for a long time, I've been dealing with RL depression and anxiety. I moved home a little over a year ago, had a brief stint of homelessness two months ago, but thankfully that's been sorted. And despite all that, I've been making progress on the mental health front. I've been a lot more open in sharing the art I've gotten as commissions or rewards, where-as before I'd be hyper-anxious about it. But even outside of that, my mood's taken a lift given the quiet little fishing town I live in, to the point where I'm starting to feel okay about going outside on my own, rather than remaining a complete hermit. I mean, I still am to an extent, but it's a choice rather than forced upon me by my own brain.

The state of the world still scares me a little, admittedly. Especially with the trainwreck that is Brexit, but what can you do about it? At this point, we're just along for the ride, but I'm getting a lot of help in dealing with the curveballs in general, and I'm thankful for that. And some of that support comes from you guys out there, who've favorited the commissions and rewards I've gotten, who've watched me to see what I get next, and those who've noted or IMed me personally to talk with me. I know it's going to sound cliche, but truly, thank you so much for your support and enthusiasm! I'm starting to feel more and more prepared to share some of my own writing that I've been anxious about for months now. I can't say when admittedly, anxiety is a hard thing to shake, but with you guys out there cheering me on? I think I can do it.

So again, thanks everyone. It really does mean a lot to me.

Welp. As of today, I'm 30. I feel all worn out with life in general...

I mean, at this point, people are supposed to have their lives in order. Have a career, have a home, hell, maybe even a family. And here I am sitting here where everything I've tried to do just falls apart. I've moved across the country too, and it isn't working out as well as I'd hoped either. I moved for help with the depression, and yet I've never felt so isolated. I only recently got a car again, but I'm already afraid of the financial burden it puts on me. I can barely afford to eat right because I can't manage my finances and have so many old debts. Just can't seem to catch a break...

In other news, Stephen Hawking died today. I honestly looked up to the guy, was one of the main figures who gave me an interest in the sciences. The guy was an inspiration to millions and a brilliant mind. And now he's gone.

Happy Pi Day, I guess...

So  dynamo is in need of emergency commissions. If you're interested, check out his post here!

Also, please send help, I can't stop playing Breath of the Wild. Or at least send food. Either works.

OW RIGHT IN THE FEELS D=

That is all.

So I mentioned this before, but remembered I haven't let folks know...

Do you like gaming? Do you like bad gaming? Do you like Scottish accents? Then have I got a link for you! I tried to make Let's Plays!

Standard disclaimer, I make no promises of being good. Just that I hope to have a good time with you all.

Who are the Longclaws?

The Longclaws is a Praetorian Blood Bowl team managed by an Ork named Guts Grissom. Guts Grissom bought the team from the low-ranking leagues and managed to make them into a somewhat popular team today. The team is characterized by their quick, agile plays and brutal savagery on the field, but their preference for little armor to weigh them down leaves them somewhat vulnerable. They also hire themselves out as mercenaries during the off-season for extra gold, making them somewhat popular with the sellsword crowd. But what keeps the fans coming back is the occasional flashy play that some of the louder and younger members pull off.

#1 - Karben

Karben is the poster-boy of the Longclaws, known for his daring and flashy plays. He also serves as the team's captain. He's quick, agile and more than willing to get his claws dirty in a scrap for the ball. Because of his agility and flashiness, he's proven massively popular with the fans who line up for the chance to see Karben pull off a spectacular dive over the defenders into the end zone. Humility isn't one of his strong points, however, and his complacency can land him in over his head. Straight-up fights aren't his thing, instead relying on his speed to hit-and-run where he can.

#2 - Avengar the Dark

Some players are good. And some players are great. But if you're looking for a player so good opponents quit after seeing him, the options are limited. Thankfully, Avengar the Dark is still playing the field, taking heads and making everyone else look more than a little skill-less. His blazing speed and combat technique makes him hard to touch and harder to knock down. After years of determined death-dealing, his reputation is at its apex and a fund has been created by terrified opponents to pay for an astronomic reward for any player who can kill him.

#3 - The Smoker ^{(Second from right in this image)}

Most Blood Bowl players laugh at a spellcaster on the pitch. But most Blood Bowl players haven't met The Smoker. The Smoker got his name through his use of smoke bombs on the pitch, obscuring foes (much to the annoyance of fans) and taking them down. Word from his surviving victims is the last thing they see before getting knocked out is the whites of his eyes through the skull he wears. Rare is the time when he lets an opponent through unharmed, but it isn't rare to see him throw a smoke bomb as a distraction. Regardless, he is equal parts hated and feared.

#4 - Magica Tcharnia ^{(Far left in this image)}

A former illusionist, Magic Tcharnia is a showman and the embodiment of the Praetorian dream. At the start of his career, he was only an entertainer in the stands. His job was to taunt opposing fans by throwing the occasional fire-ball in the direction of the opposition. However, he put so much effort into his work he was hired by Guts Grissom and is now a Blood Bowl star. He's currently on course to beat the record of most opponents incinerated in a season. And good luck to him.

#5 - Maldner

The heaviest of hitters, Maldner is a Balrog that's constantly itching for a fight. Built like a mountain and hits like an avalanche, he is a feared foe on the pitch. When Maldner starts heading down the pitch, opposing players tend to get out of the way, lest they end up becoming suddenly two-dimensional. All that strength comes at the cost of ball skills. Not that it matters when he's got you pinned on the ground and beating your head like a bongo drum.

#6 - Lancof ^{(Second from left in this image)}

Speed, speed and more speed. Lancof takes showmanship to a whole new level, charging in and firing up the crowd with his blink-and-you'll-miss-it moves. While not as tough as most, he's certainly the quickest and nimblest lineman, able to run rings around his opponents and slip out of even the most tenacious defender's reach. But his speed does come at the expense of some protection, leaving him to rely on his own natural endurance to weather the worst of beatings, leaving him with quite a few scars for his trouble. Scars he wears as badges proving just how tough he is.

#7 - Rastere

The youngest member of the Longclaws, Rastere has made a name for himself by turning up in every match wearing a skull. Initially he was ridiculed for it, until he very quickly racked up his KO count and it became his trademark. Where there's a fight, Rastere is there, using his berserker-like strength to beat the opponent to a pulp and move on to the next one. He notably refuses to back down from a fight until the foe is down, often sticking in a fight even when outmatched and managing to hold his own.

#8 - Darric

Darric is a tough fighter who specializes in stealing the ball and passing it on. He's also very hard to put down for good, springing back up nearly every time. But despite being a loud tower of muscle, he's not dumb. He picks and chooses his fights, primarily targeting whoever has the ball before running interference on those who would try to take it back. But such prowess and eagerness to fight results in sub-par ball skills. Not that Darric minds, he sees his KO/kill count as his main prize.

#9 - Lorti

Lorti may not be the oldest, but he's been playing Blood Bowl the longest. As such, he has an almost sixth sense for where he needs to be on the pitch and just whose jaw he needs to break. While not as good at interception as Darric, he is quicker and more capable with the ball, able to make the snap decision whether he should pass or run for the end zone without hesitation. He also tends to tutor the younger players on how the game should be played. Like where best to kick someone in a fight.

#10 - Eindi ^{(Left in this image)}

'It's not a foul if you don't get caught!' is Eindi's stance. Stomping a downed foe, tripping, even wrestling the foe to the ground and pounding on them... All accidents, I swear! And yet, this makes him one of the most popular (or hated depending on who you support) players on the team. And for those cases when the referee does see? He's more than generous with his 'donations' to the Referee Retirement Fund. And if all else fails, there's his percussive 'persuasion' technique... Side effects may include referee's teeth in his fists.

#11 - Ghansan ^{(Right in this image)}

Eindi's brother, Ghansan takes the opposite approach to playing Blood Bowl. He still gets into scraps, but when a foe is down, they're down. But that doesn't make Ghansan any less dangerous. He is able to leap into a brawl, steal the ball from the opposing team and slip out again to pass it to the quicker team members almost flawlessly. And when he is needed for a straight-up fight, he can hold his own rather well, using his quick reactions to his advantage to bring them down. He might be for cleaner playing on the field, but he still leaves a lot of broken noses in his wake.

#12 - Linat

The team's second reciever, Linat isn't as flashy as Karben is. He focusses on quick reactions and even quicker feet to duck and weave through the opposing lines to get the ball where it needs to be: the end zone. Often, he can be found hanging back behind the rest of the Longclaws scanning for weak spots and making a vreak for them the moment the ball is headed his way. But that isn't to say he's boring either, fans love placing side bets on just which player on the opposing team he's going to drop-kick his way through to score.

#13 - Donsan ^{(No image yet)}

When it comes to the Hail Mary, nobody lands them as well as Donsan. Though primarily a defensive player, he is known for being able to get the ball and deliver it straight into waiting hands in the opposition's half. And for when the opponents do get past the Longclaws defensive line, he's there to put them back on the ground and start the counterattack. Some have even started calling him 'The Deadly Keeper' for his high KO/kill count, making sure to punish the opposing team for pushing too far ahead on the pitch.

#14 - Meudem ^{(No image yet)}

Meudem relishes a challenging fight, but the average player on the pitch doesn't provide enough challenge to him. Instead, Meudem focusses on taking down the big foes. Balrogs, Ents, Demons, you name it. He loves testing himself against the biggest foes, often going out of his way to target them on the pitch and providing fans a show of just how he takes them down. While he can get in over his head sometimes, fans love seeing him clambering all over a big guy and beating them into submission.

#15 - Jezite ^{(No image yet)}

Jezite embodies the idea of first one in and last one out. He prides himself on being able to dive into a fight and be the last one standing at the end. However his dedication to a fight has left his ball skills somewhat lacking, often fumbling or not matching the speed of other interceptors on the field. But that's not what makes him popular. What makes him popular is the pile of bodies he leaves in his wake.

#16 - Rhuit ^{(No image yet)}

Rhuit is the newest addition to the team, but by no means the youngest. Scouted from another Praetorian team, Rhuit doesn't quite mesh with the team dynamics as of yet, but that suits everyone just fine. Rhuit is a quick, savage brawler who slips between defenders and targets the weak link in the chain, clearing a path for the others to do their thing. He's hard to keep down as well, but unlike others, he can still handle the ball well enough to be a decent support to have when the foes put up a good fight.

So it seems folks quite like the Longlcaws art I've commissioned from Chocobouchees, so I figured now would be as good a time as any to expand on it and put the plan out there. I'll be doing two posts. One handling the background and another going over the team itself.

First, a history lesson...

Back in 2001, there was a board game called Blood Bowl that had just got its fourth edition published by Games Workshop. The game was a fantasy football game based in the Warhammer Fantasy setting and styled as a parody of hyper-violent football. Orks killing opposing players on the pitch was encouraged, it was only cheating if the referee saw it and hiring hitmen on MVPs. That kind of thing. It was quite popular and, in 1995, had an MS-DOS video game released, but since then things had been quiet as they focussed on the board game.

In the early 2000s, a French studio called Cyanide Studios approached Games Workship wanting to make a new Blood Bowl videogame. However, for whatever reason, GW wasn't on board with the idea. Not to be deterred, Cyanide instead made their own hyper-violent fantasy football game. It got released in 2004 as Chaos League, featuring quite a few similarities and a myriad of races to make a team from. One of these races was the Praetorians, a race of humanoid wolves who were great at long-distance running and fighting, but not very sturdy. These guys were my favorites and I think I had gotten pretty good with them.

Come 2009, Games Workshop had sued Cyanide Studios over the similarities between Chaos League and Blood Bowl. They settled out of court and the property was handed over to Games Workshop, resulting in Chaos League being unavailable for regular sale and unsupported. However, Cyanide instead got the green light to work on an official Blood Bowl videogame (released in the same year) that most folks are familiar with.

But where do the Longclaws come in?

The Longclaws were the team I had used in Chaos League. I found them fun to play and so last year I decided to translate them as best I could to the current Blood Bowl rules as a homebrew team. Some things don't translate over well (such as spellcasters on the pitch), but generally folks I played with did enjoy going against them, even if they did play quite Skaven-like. One friend suggested I put together a little rulebook of sorts instead of constantly referring to notes and so I approached the awesome Chocobouchees for the art, helping to put faces to the numbers on paper and, in my opinion, really bringing the team and characters to life.

Why hasn't Games Workshop done anything with Chaos League?

I actually asked them about this back in February 2012, and was pleasantly surprised when they got back to me. They didn't have any plans with the IP at the time, and since then they've worked with Cyanide to make Blood Bowl 2, so I think it's safe to say they're sticking with that. While I'm sad I won't get to see the Longclaws outside of custom minis, I can't fault them for sticking to their own creations. Who knows, maybe they'll squeeze in similar somewhere down the line.

Soo yah... I got hooked in by  tarpaw...

Here's how this works. Comment and I'll go through the usual checklist...

1) Tell you something I learned about you by looking at your FA page for 13 seconds.
2) Tell you a colour you remind me of.
3) Tell you my first memory of you.
4) Ask you a question.
5) Tell you something I like about you.
6) Tell you the object that is in front of me.
7) Dare you to do this yourself in your journal.

Because I figured it'd be funny to throw a character of mine out of their comfort zone a bit... And a new update would be kinda good.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3545617/

It's more common than you think!

So, along with a rather naughty fic over there on the left, I've got another update on Project: Cosplay. The fur for my Kimahri suit has arrived, but I've got no clue where to begin! ^^;; I'm sitting staring at it, and getting nowhere, so I'll be heading out to a store to get a jumpsuit pattern or something soon.

On a somewhat related note, my Kamina cosplay is going quite well. Other than the glasses, I'm nearly finished. Just need to work on the cloak a bit to make it look sufficiently raggedy, but I doubt that'll take up too much of my time. Then, it's back to Kimahri! I am having real troubles with his loincloth, though. I tried it in felt, but it just looked, and felt, wrong somehow. So now it's a case of finding an alternative. I might just buy some nylon, or something, and print the pattern onto some iron-on transfer paper and take it from there, but that feels ... cheap, to me. Meh, I might need to.

Nalerenn, out! Take care, guys!

Well, the fur just arrived today in the mail (God bless the Royal Mail's painfully slow deliveries) for my Kimahri cosplay, so I can finally get some real work done on it. Just need to find some patterns and stuff before I can actually sew it all together, but the local stores are all closed for the Christmas. There are still other bits and pieces I can work on (gloves, tail, etc) in the meantime, as well as my other cosplays for the same event (Daimon Masaru and Kamina, from Digimon Savers and Tengen Toppa Gurren-Lagann respectively).

On the topic of gloves, has anyone here ever used driving gloves, or something, and sewn fur onto them? I've heard they're good for being able to hold things, but I want an opinion before I go ahead and work on them. Also, tips for tails and feet would be really handy, too.

As per the usual for this line of Journals (which is actually more of a blog, now, but meh), odaijini, mina!

For those non-Japanese speakers, that means "Kimahri Cosplay project ... BEGIN!!" =p

Well, for the upcoming Amecon 2008, I'l attempting to create, as much by myself as I can, a Kimahri outfit. Now, I have very little craft skills, to be honest, but I do have my flatmates. One is working on an Inuyasha outfit for the same con and the other has a hobby in cross-stitching, so things should turn out okay in the end! I'll be keeping you guys updated as I progress! Anyone with tips or pointers is welcome to lend me a hand! I'll need all the help I can get ^^;;

Well, catch y'all later! Odaijini, mina!

That's "Take care, everyone" =p

Got this from Xanthus (http://www.furaffinity.net/user/xanthus/), so here we go! 10 things starting with "A"...

A is for Apples.
A is for Asbestos
A is for Apathy
A is for Arrow
A is for Artist
A is for Anarchy
A is for Antidote
A is for Anecdote

That's it, I think. You wanna spread this? Reply and I'll give you a letter to use!

Yeah, I got dragged into them. Ask me three questions, I'll give you three answers. Go for it.

For those of you that don't know, Megid is an ability that monsters have in Phantasy Star Universe that can inflict an instant-death hit, wiping you out entirely. Not very useful when it also knocks you out of Nanoblast form, too >_<

Of course, that said, the way around it is the Blast Badge of Invulnerability, but it's not as good as the others, imo.

PSU-rants aside, my birthday came and went without noticeable incident. Bo-ring. Since I'm a bit more active online, now, expect a few things to be uploaded. Currently, I'm looking at porn writing (that'll get your attention =P), since my drawing skill have taken a vacation. A long one. Dunno what kinda porn, mind you, but I'm looking at WAM (I blame Kirtterfox. His fault entirely) as a possible starting point. Just gotta get the ideas going, that's all.