FA+
Shop
Life Update
General | Posted 12 years agoWell, boys and girls, it's been a while and with good reason, since I last updated my journal.
I have been hard at work for the last about year... the first part of this was the longest - looking for work. Spending 10-16 hours a day trying to write out cover letters, do research on companies, go to interviews... There were some high and low times.
This January, I finally got my big break. I am working and trying to make sure that I keep the job I got. It's stressful, especially when you have college debt and have to look at more debt to get a new car because the one you are in is failing
I wish I could say I was playing it safe as well - this entire endeavor has been high risk. But I'll stick with it. I'll keep positive. I'll refrain from posting drama-posts without explaining myself or going 'groan' in hopes of people giving me attention. And I'll get to the point where I can be good for people, rather than a drain on them. I will. B+. It's better than A+'s sometimes :P
I have been hard at work for the last about year... the first part of this was the longest - looking for work. Spending 10-16 hours a day trying to write out cover letters, do research on companies, go to interviews... There were some high and low times.
This January, I finally got my big break. I am working and trying to make sure that I keep the job I got. It's stressful, especially when you have college debt and have to look at more debt to get a new car because the one you are in is failing
I wish I could say I was playing it safe as well - this entire endeavor has been high risk. But I'll stick with it. I'll keep positive. I'll refrain from posting drama-posts without explaining myself or going 'groan' in hopes of people giving me attention. And I'll get to the point where I can be good for people, rather than a drain on them. I will. B+. It's better than A+'s sometimes :P
Poison is Poison, M'Kay?
General | Posted 13 years agoI know that in the past, I have talked about some people being poison. While many people can be or are poison, this journal isn't about poison, it is about actual poison. It is also a rant.
So, my mom has this poison called Golden Malrin. It's a fly bait poison. It's only reason to exist is to be poison. So when you call it poison, it's a poison, m'kay? Follow me yet? Are we all on the same page?
So, let us confirm that it is poison, actual poison. Okay. Step 1 complete.
So, we can all say that poison is something you generally don't wanna fuck with. You know, unless you like to eat poison. I think most of us can agree that you don't want to eat poison. Want some actual poison in your food? I didn't think so. You agree right? Okay. Step 2 complete.
So. There's actual poison, and you don't want it in your food. Here's the tricky part. This is step 3. You have water. Water goes downhill, right? Can we all agree that water goes downhill? I hope so. Can we all agree that water goes downhill under the normal force of gravity? Okay. Step 3 complete.
So. My mom is told to not put poison above the garden. I state that I will not eat from the garden if she puts the poison in or above the garden. So she doesn't. Until right before a rainstorm. Yeps. She goes out an hour before the rainstorm and moves the poison about 10 feet above the garden - in an open 'pan' that is actually the cut out bottom of a gallon of milk. The poison is mixed in with coke to make it more attractive to animals (She's already killed a raccoon, she meant to get a groundhog. Oh my god, I hope PETA doesn't read this.)
So, she even spills some of it moving it up there. And she has the gall to say: "Well, only a drop of it spilled. None of it got out in the rain."
Sure. Because you were out in the rain, thunder, and lightning watching it the entire fucking time. You stupid, fucking old hag. Refer to Points 1-3, pretty fucking common sense. POISON IS POISON, I don't have to prove to you that it did, you have to prove to me that it didn't get in the garden, because you shouldn't fuck around with poison!
Granted, she won't admit to that point. She's probably just going to throw the shit into the garden itself now to spite me. I called the Center for Poison Control (1-800-222-1222) and asked them about it. They said it is a Class 2 Carbon-Based Poison. (And since most carbon based life forms will absorb Carbon...). There are many classes, but they are generally broken up into 3 classes based on severity.
Class 2 isn't the most toxic or severe - it's the middle one. It will cause 'wet' conditions, vomiting, diarrhea, and may cause respiratory distress (which means it can kill you, although it is unlikely). However, it will get into the plants, and it will be passed to us through the food. In what amounts are unknown, and so long as my mother follows the directions and uses minute amounts, it shouldn't be a problem. So I don't know if I am going to eat the food yet or not. I suppose that largely depends on what she does in the future. (Hopefully, I'll have moved out of state by the time it comes to harvest).
However, to prove how much my mother cares for directions, she covered up the directions label, and the warning label on the actual poison container with a label that says 'Groundhog Poison'.
Now I am going to have to go do yardwork with her all day, helping her with today's garage sale (Which she is only having today, this week, since she is CONVINCED that Thursdays are the big day to have garage sales), while wanting to bitch slap her because she is a huge fucking fool that doesn't listen, and because talking to her is pointless. (Ever see the bobblehead head-bob 'yes yes yes okay okay okay' thing? That's what she does.)
I'm just wondering... is this a normal reaction? OR am I over-reacting to feel this way?
Feedback, user opinions, anyone?
So, my mom has this poison called Golden Malrin. It's a fly bait poison. It's only reason to exist is to be poison. So when you call it poison, it's a poison, m'kay? Follow me yet? Are we all on the same page?
So, let us confirm that it is poison, actual poison. Okay. Step 1 complete.
So, we can all say that poison is something you generally don't wanna fuck with. You know, unless you like to eat poison. I think most of us can agree that you don't want to eat poison. Want some actual poison in your food? I didn't think so. You agree right? Okay. Step 2 complete.
So. There's actual poison, and you don't want it in your food. Here's the tricky part. This is step 3. You have water. Water goes downhill, right? Can we all agree that water goes downhill? I hope so. Can we all agree that water goes downhill under the normal force of gravity? Okay. Step 3 complete.
So. My mom is told to not put poison above the garden. I state that I will not eat from the garden if she puts the poison in or above the garden. So she doesn't. Until right before a rainstorm. Yeps. She goes out an hour before the rainstorm and moves the poison about 10 feet above the garden - in an open 'pan' that is actually the cut out bottom of a gallon of milk. The poison is mixed in with coke to make it more attractive to animals (She's already killed a raccoon, she meant to get a groundhog. Oh my god, I hope PETA doesn't read this.)
So, she even spills some of it moving it up there. And she has the gall to say: "Well, only a drop of it spilled. None of it got out in the rain."
Sure. Because you were out in the rain, thunder, and lightning watching it the entire fucking time. You stupid, fucking old hag. Refer to Points 1-3, pretty fucking common sense. POISON IS POISON, I don't have to prove to you that it did, you have to prove to me that it didn't get in the garden, because you shouldn't fuck around with poison!
Granted, she won't admit to that point. She's probably just going to throw the shit into the garden itself now to spite me. I called the Center for Poison Control (1-800-222-1222) and asked them about it. They said it is a Class 2 Carbon-Based Poison. (And since most carbon based life forms will absorb Carbon...). There are many classes, but they are generally broken up into 3 classes based on severity.
Class 2 isn't the most toxic or severe - it's the middle one. It will cause 'wet' conditions, vomiting, diarrhea, and may cause respiratory distress (which means it can kill you, although it is unlikely). However, it will get into the plants, and it will be passed to us through the food. In what amounts are unknown, and so long as my mother follows the directions and uses minute amounts, it shouldn't be a problem. So I don't know if I am going to eat the food yet or not. I suppose that largely depends on what she does in the future. (Hopefully, I'll have moved out of state by the time it comes to harvest).
However, to prove how much my mother cares for directions, she covered up the directions label, and the warning label on the actual poison container with a label that says 'Groundhog Poison'.
Now I am going to have to go do yardwork with her all day, helping her with today's garage sale (Which she is only having today, this week, since she is CONVINCED that Thursdays are the big day to have garage sales), while wanting to bitch slap her because she is a huge fucking fool that doesn't listen, and because talking to her is pointless. (Ever see the bobblehead head-bob 'yes yes yes okay okay okay' thing? That's what she does.)
I'm just wondering... is this a normal reaction? OR am I over-reacting to feel this way?
Feedback, user opinions, anyone?
Merpeople have flooded my basement.
General | Posted 14 years ago"Merpeople have flooded my basement."
That's at least what came to mind when I thought of a line to describe the level of sanity I am currently operating on.
Don't worry, no mermaids are actually in my basement, and no, it is not flooded. Although my head does feel as if it is made of swiss cheese.
I am taking a moment to put an update journal, since it's been a while since I have posted one. Life is still hectic, plans are changing all the time - I think spring has finally arrived. Come to think of it, spring timed itself perfectly with my roommate deciding he might not be returning - he might be going out to New Mexico to go to college and live with his new girlfriend (whom I discovered the existence of two weeks ago).
I need to hammer away at my project still - been finishing up the stress concentration sections and spent the day trying to derive the values of stress concentrations in threaded members from a source that lacks clarification to an extreme level. At every turn, I see more and more things that I never learned in college - because they simply weren't taught. And I am trying to figure then out. I want to learn, but at the same time, it makes me disgusted at all the time and effort I wasted jumping through hoops while so much information was withheld. It also scares me - how can the people I knew who went through college on the emphasis "You don't need to learn anything in college, you'll be taught everything you need to know once you get a job." have graduated and gotten jobs out of it.
Ah well, this is the price I pay for not having my life in order. I know I can still be awesome if I keep trying. And I'm trying to think of all the good things that I used to know and act on to find my way. I'm trying to stay away from my re-emerging urges to play World of Warcraft, EVE, LoL, Cosmic Break, and so many other games.
And that's why it's important to make journals like this, to remember what exactly it is that you are committed to, and why. The people that are important. The things that are important. Despite everyone that gets in your way, lies to you, goes behind your back or is otherwise deceitful. Everyone that gets in your way... because those 'despites', don't really matter - the things that are important are what matters.
and so I am going to press on, get back to work, and do a kick ass job. While remembering things I used to say, like this;
"If you won't champion for something good, you are rather limited in what you can champion for."
I'm a real corny person, aren't I? :P
That's at least what came to mind when I thought of a line to describe the level of sanity I am currently operating on.
Don't worry, no mermaids are actually in my basement, and no, it is not flooded. Although my head does feel as if it is made of swiss cheese.
I am taking a moment to put an update journal, since it's been a while since I have posted one. Life is still hectic, plans are changing all the time - I think spring has finally arrived. Come to think of it, spring timed itself perfectly with my roommate deciding he might not be returning - he might be going out to New Mexico to go to college and live with his new girlfriend (whom I discovered the existence of two weeks ago).
I need to hammer away at my project still - been finishing up the stress concentration sections and spent the day trying to derive the values of stress concentrations in threaded members from a source that lacks clarification to an extreme level. At every turn, I see more and more things that I never learned in college - because they simply weren't taught. And I am trying to figure then out. I want to learn, but at the same time, it makes me disgusted at all the time and effort I wasted jumping through hoops while so much information was withheld. It also scares me - how can the people I knew who went through college on the emphasis "You don't need to learn anything in college, you'll be taught everything you need to know once you get a job." have graduated and gotten jobs out of it.
Ah well, this is the price I pay for not having my life in order. I know I can still be awesome if I keep trying. And I'm trying to think of all the good things that I used to know and act on to find my way. I'm trying to stay away from my re-emerging urges to play World of Warcraft, EVE, LoL, Cosmic Break, and so many other games.
And that's why it's important to make journals like this, to remember what exactly it is that you are committed to, and why. The people that are important. The things that are important. Despite everyone that gets in your way, lies to you, goes behind your back or is otherwise deceitful. Everyone that gets in your way... because those 'despites', don't really matter - the things that are important are what matters.
and so I am going to press on, get back to work, and do a kick ass job. While remembering things I used to say, like this;
"If you won't champion for something good, you are rather limited in what you can champion for."
I'm a real corny person, aren't I? :P
Introduction - A New Name and First Profile
General | Posted 14 years agoI am posting my first profile here so that I can remember it. (And so people can comment!) I should also start trying to do simple things that will help relieve stress, instead of waiting on them until my life is 'ideal'. Make the most of each day, right? Things like trying to draw a picture a day.... now I need to draw a logo too.
Profile;
Innocent fugitive accused of crimes shi did not commit? Check!
Betrayed by those shi loved? Check!
Got Some RL stuff to deal with before updating this? Check! ... aww...
I am Nameswalker. The name comes from the fact that over the years, I have had several. These names I have left behind with different stages of my life, each one I have learned from, and each one I have hopefully learned how to live better. It is said that the only way to sate temptation is to give into it. Ghosts and Monsters do exist - Inside each and everyone one of us. (Steven Kings). Learning to live with our ghosts, monsters, and temptations, is something we all must do, no matter how ghastly they appear, because they are a part of us. (I've been watching too much Persona 4 as of late). But even the Ancient Greeks sought the Balance between working hard and getting plastered.
Rather than keep my old names, and try to save face, and try to keep friendships that have clearly failed, I'm choosing to move on with the relationships I have successfully made - people that want me, and people that are worth loving. Instead of trying to worry about the years I have wasted, I am trying to make the years ahead of me better. And instead of defying the ghosts and monsters I have inside of me, I am going to accept them and make my life to my choosing. And thus, I accept what I am, and my new name comes from what I am - Nameswalker.
Profile;
Innocent fugitive accused of crimes shi did not commit? Check!
Betrayed by those shi loved? Check!
Got Some RL stuff to deal with before updating this? Check! ... aww...
I am Nameswalker. The name comes from the fact that over the years, I have had several. These names I have left behind with different stages of my life, each one I have learned from, and each one I have hopefully learned how to live better. It is said that the only way to sate temptation is to give into it. Ghosts and Monsters do exist - Inside each and everyone one of us. (Steven Kings). Learning to live with our ghosts, monsters, and temptations, is something we all must do, no matter how ghastly they appear, because they are a part of us. (I've been watching too much Persona 4 as of late). But even the Ancient Greeks sought the Balance between working hard and getting plastered.
Rather than keep my old names, and try to save face, and try to keep friendships that have clearly failed, I'm choosing to move on with the relationships I have successfully made - people that want me, and people that are worth loving. Instead of trying to worry about the years I have wasted, I am trying to make the years ahead of me better. And instead of defying the ghosts and monsters I have inside of me, I am going to accept them and make my life to my choosing. And thus, I accept what I am, and my new name comes from what I am - Nameswalker.
