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YCH VORE DRAGON ♥ by Avel
Posted a year ago
YCH ANIMATION PAWS ♥ by Avel
Posted a year agoI'm back!
Posted a year agoHi, everyone! As you may have noticed, I've been gone for a year. There were many reasons for this. I wrote once before that I suffer from mental problems and my health leaves much to be desired. The reason was that to all this was added my burnout to drawing, every time I sat down to draw I became physically painful, stomach ache, nausea, everything went psychosomatic. I also went to the hospital for treatment, after which I felt better.
All this time I slowly tried to return to drawing, there were a lot of attempts. The only one who financially supported me was my husband, for which I am sincerely grateful.
I also sat at home for 2 years and didn't go outside all that time, I developed a terrible agoraphobia.
But what can I say, it seems that I have coped with all this except the last one, now I can draw again without discomfort, I like to create again and come up with new ideas and images. The long treatment has paid off and I'm glad I feel alive now.
Thank you to everyone who waited for me and kept watching, I am grateful and want to say thank you so much! Your support is very important to me! ♥
I can't help but share a new development in my life. Since I continue to have agoraphobia and anxiety, I decided to contact the project " A thing about dogs"
This project trains therapy dogs for people with chronic illnesses, in my case it is mental. In the near future we plan to get an aussie puppy and train him to be my assistant, this dog will help me to overcome agoraphobia, improve socialization with people and warn me about the beginning of anxiety attacks. Added to that, sport with the dog will also help, and with my sedentary job, that will be great. Not to mention I will have a friend who will be by my side everywhere I go, and that is very motivating to work hard.
P.S. - If you are wondering where is my white dog Archie and why won't he fulfill this role of helper? It's simple, Archie himself is an anxious and excitable dog who is not suitable for a helper dog. He himself needs psychological help, which we are now doing together with a zoopsychologist. Archie is also doing just fine and we are loving and caring for him as much as possible ♥
I am currently actively creating
All this time I slowly tried to return to drawing, there were a lot of attempts. The only one who financially supported me was my husband, for which I am sincerely grateful.
I also sat at home for 2 years and didn't go outside all that time, I developed a terrible agoraphobia.
But what can I say, it seems that I have coped with all this except the last one, now I can draw again without discomfort, I like to create again and come up with new ideas and images. The long treatment has paid off and I'm glad I feel alive now.
Thank you to everyone who waited for me and kept watching, I am grateful and want to say thank you so much! Your support is very important to me! ♥
I can't help but share a new development in my life. Since I continue to have agoraphobia and anxiety, I decided to contact the project " A thing about dogs"
This project trains therapy dogs for people with chronic illnesses, in my case it is mental. In the near future we plan to get an aussie puppy and train him to be my assistant, this dog will help me to overcome agoraphobia, improve socialization with people and warn me about the beginning of anxiety attacks. Added to that, sport with the dog will also help, and with my sedentary job, that will be great. Not to mention I will have a friend who will be by my side everywhere I go, and that is very motivating to work hard.
P.S. - If you are wondering where is my white dog Archie and why won't he fulfill this role of helper? It's simple, Archie himself is an anxious and excitable dog who is not suitable for a helper dog. He himself needs psychological help, which we are now doing together with a zoopsychologist. Archie is also doing just fine and we are loving and caring for him as much as possible ♥
I am currently actively creating
★ YCH's ★
on my other VORE page and will be active here soon! I'm saving up for a dog and if you'd like to support me, I'd love your commissions! ♡( ◡‿◡ )And again my thanks for your waiting and staying with me ♥3D model headshots
Posted 2 years agoVORE YCHs
Posted 2 years agoFor fans of VORE art, I have a couple of suggestions for you in the form of YCHs ^^
Here you can check them out
★ YCH OPEN ★
VORE new account ♥
Posted 2 years ago⚠️ How is Archie's dog doing?⚠️
Posted 2 years agoI wanted to share how Archie is feeling right now ^^ Watch the video!
The stitches from the surgery has healed, Archie is no longer in pain and can even lean on his paw! That's a very good sign that our rehab will go great ♥ He started begging us for food again XDD and being very playful :3 We achieved all this thanks to your help, thank you! (´ ω `♡)
⚠️Results of my dog's surgery!⚠️
Posted 2 years agoI just got out and got a little bit of normalcy so I could write a log of the results. I am very tired on this trip and I don't sleep much these days.
Here's a picture of Archie after surgery you can find in
Archie's paw surgery went well!
He is now on antibiotics and pain medication and we are treating of his stitches. Archie is now stable, he is not allowed to move around for 3 days, on the 10th day the stitches will be taken off. He will have a paw control in three months.
General limitation of dog's activity for 3 weeks for complete healing.
After that we will gradually put him into rehabilitation, which will include swimming, massage and paw exercise, walking over barriers. All this is necessary to strengthen the muscles, as the main emphasis will be on them.
That's all for now. We have money left over from the general fundraiser, which we will spend on a routine checkup in 3 months and leave for paw rehabilitation.
Here's a picture of Archie after surgery you can find in
this folder
Archie's paw surgery went well!
Results
He is now on antibiotics and pain medication and we are treating of his stitches. Archie is now stable, he is not allowed to move around for 3 days, on the 10th day the stitches will be taken off. He will have a paw control in three months.
General limitation of dog's activity for 3 weeks for complete healing.
After that we will gradually put him into rehabilitation, which will include swimming, massage and paw exercise, walking over barriers. All this is necessary to strengthen the muscles, as the main emphasis will be on them.
That's all for now. We have money left over from the general fundraiser, which we will spend on a routine checkup in 3 months and leave for paw rehabilitation.
Everyone to whom I promised to draw a gift head for donation, I'll start making them soon ^^ I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart, you really helped us in an emergency situation!
⚠️ My dog's X-ray results ⚠️
Posted 2 years ago MAIN JOURNAL WITH INFORMATION
1 x-ray 2 x-ray X-rays, conclusion of the diagnosis
An update on my dog's condition. Information on x-rays and consultation with the trauma doctor
I have terrible news about the x-rays and the consultation with the trauma surgeon. We were diagnosed with grade 4 hip dysplasia on one paw and grade 3 on the other. When I saw the pictures, I almost fainted. I am in big shock, still shaking and trying to come to my senses. The doctors said that it could be a congenital pathology, genetic.
We were offered two options, the first is the best surgery resection, which will cost 35,000₽ / $ 500.
And the second option Endoprosthesis (replacement) of the hip joint, which will cost 103,000₽ / $ 1500
We excluded the second option, as this operation is 50/50% that the prosthesis will engraft.
We chose the first surgery to be done in mid to late February on one leg only.
We are also planning a second surgery on the second leg in a year's time.
They said that after the first surgery he will continue to limp , but he won't feel any pain or discomfort.
I'm still accepting your donations and orders, as I need to accumulate the right amount by mid-February.
At the moment we were prescribed MEXIDOL-VET 125MG for our heart, because they found some irregularities and it is necessary to prepare for the surgery.
Sinus tachycardia, signs of left ventricular enlargement, dysmetabolic changes in left ventricular myocardiumElectrocardiographic findings This medication costs around 600₽ /~$10 - 2 pills a day Prescribing the medication and scheduling the surgery MEXIDOL-VET I received a lot of support and donations for my dog's first medical exams, thank you so much, I couldn't have done it without you (ಥ﹏ಥ)♥
Auction to support my dog's! by Tarimel ♥
Posted 2 years agoMy friend created an auction to support my dog's treatment (ಥ﹏ಥ)
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/50712866/
She is a gorgeous and wonderful artist, please follow her ♥
Maybe you will be interested in this offer and you will get beautiful art!
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/50712866/
She is a gorgeous and wonderful artist, please follow her ♥
Maybe you will be interested in this offer and you will get beautiful art!
⚠️ Need help in treating a dog ⚠️
Posted 2 years ago I can make mistakes in the text, because English is not my native language. Sorry about that. If you find broken links, please let me know ⚠️Results of my dog's surgery!⚠️
Echocardiography on February 24 - 1,500₽ /20$
Results
Check We are scheduled for surgery on February 27 - 18,650₽ /~250$
Results
Check + 2 antibiotic shots 410₽/~6$ + 3 pain pills 210₽/~3$
COLLECTED!
40,000₽|~531$
I rounded up the amount, since we would need additional expenses for anesthesia, Electrocardiography and rehabilitation afterwards, not to mention the trip there and back. Information about the surgery here
This balance will go either for rehabilitation or for a second operation, which will be needed in a year on the other paw of the dog.
The balance at this point, including total spending - 19,230 ₽/~255$
Donations collected so far include
61 612₽ / 876$
Boosty eats 10 percent of the amount received. I am indicating the amounts received with this percentage taken into account I would really appreciate it if you spread the word about this journal! This help is also important ♥
Total spending
21,612₽/ 312$
Heart medication
Mexidol-vet 125MG (2 pills a day) 14 days 2 packs 1,373₽/~20$
Check Analgesic medicine 5 pills - 325₽/~5$
Check The amount spent on analysis was 3,300₽ /48$
Check analyses All information about the X-ray and the results of the examination, we were diagnosed with hip dysplasia of the 4th degree
Results Journal
The amount spent on the doctor's consultation, anesthesia and X-rays was 5,950 ₽ |84$
Check X-rays We did an abdominal ultrasound just in case 1,000 ₽ |15$
Results
Check We also need to spend on gasoline, food, and pet food. Since we will be in another city. We have been given a car and lodging in another city for this time
Buying dog food 15 kg - 3,484₽/50$
Photo of Archie with food Check for the food We are already at home and these expenses are not required.
Total necessary expenses in terms of traveling to another city (food, gasoline) ~ 6, 180₽/89$
I will reimburse this amount with my commissions
Sorry at once, I can write this on emotion.
I'm tired, I can't understand why I'm going through all this anymore
In addition to my health problems and my fucked up mentality, I had problems with my dog. It happened so abruptly and something had to be done about it. My dog started limping and his paw hurts terribly, he can't lie down normally without screaming in pain, and he can't move around calmly. When I look at this my heart hurts, it makes me want to cry so bad and I can't help him. I have to take my dog to the vet clinic in another city, find a car to do it or choose the most expensive option of calling a cab. But that problem was solved and we found a car to go to another city.
In addition to this we need money for the treatment of the dog, for X-rays, tests, medicine that will prescribe, consultation with the doctor.
But I have absolutely no money left, the last few days we are using what we have, and I need to urgently find funds for the treatment of the dog until the 23rd-24th day. I hate asking for donations, I always try to give at least something in return. So I can only offer you a commission. And if you decide to donate, I'll thank you for it with a headshot art.
I'm under a lot of stress from the situation and I've already given up, I'm trying to look for all possible options. Soon I will also post YCHs for sale, maybe they will interest you as well.
I will be very grateful for your help, with all my heart.
So that the problem and the situation is transparent, and you do not think that I am here to extort money from you. I will back up the post with all the receipts for the treatment. And I'm showing you a picture of what's going on.
At the moment my dog has something going on with his paw. He can't step on it and any touch on it is painful. We take him outside in our arms to go to the toilet and back. He also has a hard time lying down and getting up, all accompanied by a screaming fit. He is also panting, so he is in pain.
This video shows what condition my dog is in, if you are a sensitive person and take animal suffering hard, please do not watch this. I warned you just in case.
Videos, photos and checks In the same folder with the video will be all the receipts of treatment, pictures from the vet clinic and possible spending on pet food and medicine, if they are needed.
All donations are made here, and please write and let me know so I can thank you
Donations here Payment Instructions
Picture instruction Video instruction Мой счет для сбора средств - для RU пользователей
Донат на операцию Tinkoff card
4377723770024630 Sberbank card
4276260016757006 If you would like to support a commission treatment, write me in the notes or on my discord, telegram
Price artwork
NasiyaKozochka#3571
https://t.me/nasiyakozochka
I am very embarrassed to ask for help, please excuse me. But the situation right now is very critical and unexpected, so I have to ask for help. If you wish, you can get a sketch headshot from me as my thanks!
And I would like to warn you that it will take quite a long time, as I am very busy at the moment.
Donators list ♥
•
• JozeffTech Ref
• Morrus (Влада) ✕
• Lusinka (Люся) ✕
• Marie Jägerndorf (Мария) ✕
• Evwees (Евгения) ✕
• Рада ✕
• Tristan Hankins Ref
• BunWithMemes Ref
•
• Chris Tao Ref
• Melice Arachni ✕
• Mirrdae Ref
• ZapiliDver +(Tarimel auction) Art from Tamriel
• Snowrora Ref
• Рима Викторовна Ref
• Лина Гладких ✕
• Мария Горлова ✕
• Виктор П. ✕
• Анна Антоновна ✕
• Алексей Игоревич ✕
• nyscis ✕
• Анастасия Ч. ✕
• Александра Романова ✕
• Кирилл Кочан ✕
• Анастасия Д. ✕
• Светлана Вячеславовна Г. ✕
• Владимир Евгеньевич ✕
• Анна Александровна П. + Art from Bruno ♥
FREE ART RAFFLE - ★WINNERS!★
Posted 2 years ago★ FREE ART RAFFLE★ The lot is drawn and here are the lucky winners!
Who didn't win, don't worry! It's not the last drawing and you'll still have time to try your luck again ^^
Thank you all so much for your participation! Love you all ♥
My mental and physical health~
Posted 2 years agoI haven't shared my life here in a long time and sometimes I think I'm whining and have no right to talk about my life problems. I wanted to open up my life a little bit and keep you informed.
Last year I started seeing a psychiatrist when things started to get completely chaotic around me. I was already in a terrible state and could barely stand on my feet. All of this completely overwhelmed me, and I had to see a psychiatrist in another city. I visit him now every month and we are still picking up treatment. At the moment I have been diagnosed with anxiety-depressive disorder. I have been prescribed treatment in the form of two medications to stop my anxiety state. But I sacrifice my physical condition, I am very lethargic and always want to sleep.
On top of that, I went to an endocrinologist and was diagnosed with manifest hypothyroidism, which means that my thyroid gland is working very poorly and also affects my condition. I haven't had a chance to see any other doctors yet. But I had some tests and the therapist said that I have iron deficiency anemia μ_μ The more I go to the doctors, the more scared I become that they will find more.
But I can also note the positive aspects of treatment with a psychiatrist. The pills made me feel less anxious, my performance has improved last month, which I am very happy about. But there is still a lot to work on and I am sure that I will succeed. I'm getting in the mood and goals in front of me again, and I want to try a lot of new things with my art. I also found a hobby in the form of flowers (*˘︶˘*) , which was a surprise to me.
I try very hard to hold myself together and do the best I can, but my body and my mental state are letting me down. I am trying very hard really.
I decided to write this here because I feel terrible guilt about the way I work for so long and wanted to explain why this is happening.
I would like to thank you for your patience and waiting for commissions ♥ Thank you so much! It means a lot to me ♡( ◡‿◡ )
I love you all very much ♥
Last year I started seeing a psychiatrist when things started to get completely chaotic around me. I was already in a terrible state and could barely stand on my feet. All of this completely overwhelmed me, and I had to see a psychiatrist in another city. I visit him now every month and we are still picking up treatment. At the moment I have been diagnosed with anxiety-depressive disorder. I have been prescribed treatment in the form of two medications to stop my anxiety state. But I sacrifice my physical condition, I am very lethargic and always want to sleep.
On top of that, I went to an endocrinologist and was diagnosed with manifest hypothyroidism, which means that my thyroid gland is working very poorly and also affects my condition. I haven't had a chance to see any other doctors yet. But I had some tests and the therapist said that I have iron deficiency anemia μ_μ The more I go to the doctors, the more scared I become that they will find more.
But I can also note the positive aspects of treatment with a psychiatrist. The pills made me feel less anxious, my performance has improved last month, which I am very happy about. But there is still a lot to work on and I am sure that I will succeed. I'm getting in the mood and goals in front of me again, and I want to try a lot of new things with my art. I also found a hobby in the form of flowers (*˘︶˘*) , which was a surprise to me.
I try very hard to hold myself together and do the best I can, but my body and my mental state are letting me down. I am trying very hard really.
I decided to write this here because I feel terrible guilt about the way I work for so long and wanted to explain why this is happening.
I would like to thank you for your patience and waiting for commissions ♥ Thank you so much! It means a lot to me ♡( ◡‿◡ )
I love you all very much ♥
▶ ▶ You can watch the process commissions here ◀ ◀My Trello
My friend has a wonderful YCH for sale!
Posted 2 years agoMy friend has a wonderful YCH for sale!
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/50534893/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/50534893/
My friend has a raffle, too!
Posted 2 years ago!!FREE ART RAFFLE!!
Posted 2 years agoxicel NEED HELP
Posted 2 years agoYour help may be needed by the mother of this artist
Help with money (order or donation) or make a journal
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Original journal:
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10410725
Help with money (order or donation) or make a journal
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Original journal:
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10410725
FREE ART RAFFLE from my friend!
Posted 2 years agoMy friend is having a raffle, hurry up and take part! :3
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/50103690/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/50103690/
My friend opened a YCH ♥
Posted 3 years agoYCHs open!!
Posted 3 years agoHello everybody! At the moment I have YCHs open. If you're interested, you could take a look ^^
YCH Business meeting
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/49259687/
AUCTION YCH - Theatrical play~
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/49238118/
YCH Business meeting
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/49259687/
AUCTION YCH - Theatrical play~
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/49238118/
COMMISSIONS HEADSHOT 3 SLOTS discount !!!
Posted 3 years agoI have opened discount headshots!
I need to pay my bills soon, so I'm urgently taking headshots! All details are here ♥
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48077492/
I need to pay my bills soon, so I'm urgently taking headshots! All details are here ♥
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48077492/
2 commission slots are open!
Posted 3 years agoIn the current situation with the course, I am forced to raise prices for animation commissions.
I have the last discount spot left for the animation slot! (CLOSED)
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47099515/
Also , 2 commission slots are open!
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47099527/
I have the last discount spot left for the animation slot! (CLOSED)
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47099515/
Also , 2 commission slots are open!
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47099527/
Friend YCH ♥
Posted 3 years agoMy friend has wonderful YCHs auctions! :3
Don't try to escape. YCH
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47631657/
Photographer YCH
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47631787/
Basket of flowers YCH
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47631896/
Don't try to escape. YCH
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47631657/
Photographer YCH
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47631787/
Basket of flowers YCH
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47631896/
Information
Posted 3 years agoMy PricelistArt with my character 20% discountMy BOOSTY ▶ ▶ You can watch the process commissions here ◀ ◀My Trello Information about my dog hereI NEED HELP
Posted 3 years agoMY BOOSTY
https://boosty.to/nasiyakozochka
You can watch the process commissions here.
https://trello.com/b/1rif5bFo/april
AND
NO WAR!!!
You can read what awaits us now. And I would like to share my story, like all the people in the comments. I apologize in advance for the large number of errors in the text.
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10153334/
I am from a small village in Siberia, Russia. It was incredible for me to even visit the capital of our homeland, for me it's like another country. I am from a terribly poor family, I have not seen anything in my life except 4 walls, I was born into a family of alcoholics , I was a little kid who was already finding ways to feed myself while my parents were in alcoholism. Also, when I was a very little girl, robbers attacked us and made my father an invalid of the 3rd degree. I was almost raped, my mother clung to me tightly while she was beaten by bandits, and her blood flowed down me. I was deeply traumatized, I suffered from uncontrolled urination until the age of 10, I had 10 different types of nervous tics, at the age of 9 I was in a hospital for treatment after my first panic attack. I wandered from father to mother, every time my mother decided to have another binge. When I visited my father and stepmother, I received beatings and terrible control from them. I have changed 6 schools. I experienced bullying at school from my schoolmates, come home with fear in anticipation of another scandal from my parents. So now I have a generalized anxiety disorder, which apparently I will stay with now forever. It is also difficult for me to contact everyone because of social phobia, but I try.
In the 8th grade, I could not stand the pressure of my stepmother and my father and went to my mother in the village. There were state exams coming up. My mother took up the bottle again and all the responsibility for life fell on me again. I was forced to control my mother, prepare for exams, feed 6 cats and 2 dogs that my mother dragged, feed myself and my mother somehow, find her hidden stash or ask for help from people I knew, since I had my own old house with a stove, I dragged heavy buckets of coal and firewood. I got chronic cystitis from overcooling in such conditions. I was within 15 years old. After the 9th grade, after I passed the exams, I entered the city to become a designer. I had to leave my mother and move back in with my father and stepmother. I studied and also endured a terrible attitude from my parents, I had to learn to control my teenage raging emotions, to be wiser than my parents. My parents are terrible racists and homophobes, I was constantly fighting with them because of this. I have always not divided people into nations, their gender, age and so on. I hated any discrimination, because I myself perfectly understand what it's like to be hated just like that.
In the year 16 of one night, I could not sleep peacefully, I was overcome by terrible anxiety. I couldn't get through to my mother, I only heard beeps. I was in a stressful state all day and even shared my experiences with friends a couple of times, and what if my mother died? I've always hyper-visualized all situations. After a day of study, I was returning home and my father called me. He told me to go home immediately, this conversation is not for the phone. When I went home, they were preparing a sedative for me, I went into the kitchen doorway, saw the confused faces of my parents and fainted. I realized then that my assumptions about my mother's death were real.
The loss of my mother was the most terrible for me, as it was the only native person to whom I was not afraid to tell the truth about how I feel and not get devalued.
We sold the house and all the relatives who had never connected me, did not even know how I was, come together. They said I shouldn't cry. otherwise, the mother's spirit will stay here with me. Now can you understand what kind of religious component is also arriving in our country? I could not show emotions because of the loss of a loved one, it was condemned! My mother was called an alcoholic, deranged, nobody gave a fuck about her, except for me alone, who lived next to her and was next to her.
After die my mother, my parents received my mother's pension for my guardianship. And my parents drunk this money in the evenings, and when I needed elementary educational things, they told me that they had no money. They also felt that I was not going anywhere now and began to take control of me as much as possible. They told me to my face that I owed them for all that they had done for me. The second half of my life, when all my peers enjoyed each other's company and had fun, I sat in the room and just painted. It was my only salvation. I lived with my stepmother and my father, who beat me, especially they began to commit atrocities after my mother's death.
I have already made plans to leave the country. I asked them to pay for me to study German, I wanted to go to Germany. To such conversations, my father said that nobody needed me in Germany, that I was full of shit . In general, as you understand, all my plans for the future have sunk into oblivion. I didn't even ask to be funded, I just asked to pay for German lessons with my own money.
And I started counting all the days until I become an adult. I was waiting for the hour when I could escape from them. AND I WAITED! I reissued all the money for myself, waited until my parents were not at home, my friends helped me pack all my things, I called a truck and I went to live in a hostel. My parents changed the locks after my departure and did not contact me for 3 months. Until my father decided to somehow contact me.
Alas, such were the realities of our country.
And then I breathed fresh air, it was the first time in my life when I felt freedom!
I finished my studies and got 2-3 jobs, I worked as a regular salesman.
But then I realized that I could draw, I wanted to feel it again and took up work on this site. You can't imagine how glad I was to find out that there are so many wonderful people here that I can work with, we can draw furry animals and enjoy it.
This has been going on for 2 years, I just started to move forward and try to do something new, I found a wonderful young man with whom we are now working together. We had dreams for a bright future, our house, our children, my boyfriend was a ray of light for me after so many years of my fucking life.
I just started to work out all my psychological problems, since I have been living with anxiety since childhood, it was terribly painful for me to go through therapy, I cried every day remembering all the stories from my life, I had to live them and let them go again. Since I've been hoarding all this shit all these years in myself.
AND THIS DAMN, TERRIBLE, UNBEARABLE WAR BEGAN
I read every news with jitters, I saw how the whole world hates us now, how borders are being closed to us, how my future is flying to hell and my hopes are being trampled by this terrible government. I became powerless, I was crushed, destroyed morally. I didn't understand why I had this whole fucking life, why I was born in this fucking world where I can't live peacefully and peacefully with all people.
I talked to my friends from Ukraine and I saw how they were suffering, I saw that they no longer have homes, there is no hope, I tried to support them morally, even though I was morally crushed myself. I didn't realize how in this fucking 21st century people can start wars. I don't understand anything, I just wanted to live in peace.
Everyone is asking us to come out on the street. But you can't imagine that we are literally divided into two camps. The old generation who are ready to continue living on in complete shit, and we are the new generation who all hoped for a bright future, having what we have now. We are forbidden to just talk, we are imprisoned, everyone who goes will be sent to death, to war and will not be asked.
I don't want to lose my life, I've been holding on all these years, trying to stand on my feet, avoiding the thought of suicide, I had hope.
I don't want to live next to people who support the war, I don't want to hear these nasty speeches justifying this anymore. We are fighting in two camps, you can't imagine how unbearable it is. We are hated from the outside, and everyone who is against us here oppresses and hates us, calling that we have betrayed the motherland.
Now for the news that my earnings have been cut off. My parents just laughed at me and said that, really, I will find a normal job, but alas, this job will no longer be. I don't have any parental support.
This platform gave me a sip of dreams and hopes for a bright future, alas, now the state has taken that away too.
Now our cards are blocked abroad, there is no paypal anymore, and other alternatives will soon also be unavailable to us.
I never wanted to lay out my fucking soul, because it hurts me even to write this. But I think I should have opened my soul to you now, to show you the realities of this country, how great it is for us ordinary people to live here. I'm one of all the people who live a shitty life. And there are many of us, with broken lives of people.
If you have read this, I am grateful to you for it. I wrote it through pain and tears, it's very difficult.
https://boosty.to/nasiyakozochka
You can watch the process commissions here.
https://trello.com/b/1rif5bFo/april
AND
NO WAR!!!
You can read what awaits us now. And I would like to share my story, like all the people in the comments. I apologize in advance for the large number of errors in the text.
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10153334/
I am from a small village in Siberia, Russia. It was incredible for me to even visit the capital of our homeland, for me it's like another country. I am from a terribly poor family, I have not seen anything in my life except 4 walls, I was born into a family of alcoholics , I was a little kid who was already finding ways to feed myself while my parents were in alcoholism. Also, when I was a very little girl, robbers attacked us and made my father an invalid of the 3rd degree. I was almost raped, my mother clung to me tightly while she was beaten by bandits, and her blood flowed down me. I was deeply traumatized, I suffered from uncontrolled urination until the age of 10, I had 10 different types of nervous tics, at the age of 9 I was in a hospital for treatment after my first panic attack. I wandered from father to mother, every time my mother decided to have another binge. When I visited my father and stepmother, I received beatings and terrible control from them. I have changed 6 schools. I experienced bullying at school from my schoolmates, come home with fear in anticipation of another scandal from my parents. So now I have a generalized anxiety disorder, which apparently I will stay with now forever. It is also difficult for me to contact everyone because of social phobia, but I try.
In the 8th grade, I could not stand the pressure of my stepmother and my father and went to my mother in the village. There were state exams coming up. My mother took up the bottle again and all the responsibility for life fell on me again. I was forced to control my mother, prepare for exams, feed 6 cats and 2 dogs that my mother dragged, feed myself and my mother somehow, find her hidden stash or ask for help from people I knew, since I had my own old house with a stove, I dragged heavy buckets of coal and firewood. I got chronic cystitis from overcooling in such conditions. I was within 15 years old. After the 9th grade, after I passed the exams, I entered the city to become a designer. I had to leave my mother and move back in with my father and stepmother. I studied and also endured a terrible attitude from my parents, I had to learn to control my teenage raging emotions, to be wiser than my parents. My parents are terrible racists and homophobes, I was constantly fighting with them because of this. I have always not divided people into nations, their gender, age and so on. I hated any discrimination, because I myself perfectly understand what it's like to be hated just like that.
In the year 16 of one night, I could not sleep peacefully, I was overcome by terrible anxiety. I couldn't get through to my mother, I only heard beeps. I was in a stressful state all day and even shared my experiences with friends a couple of times, and what if my mother died? I've always hyper-visualized all situations. After a day of study, I was returning home and my father called me. He told me to go home immediately, this conversation is not for the phone. When I went home, they were preparing a sedative for me, I went into the kitchen doorway, saw the confused faces of my parents and fainted. I realized then that my assumptions about my mother's death were real.
The loss of my mother was the most terrible for me, as it was the only native person to whom I was not afraid to tell the truth about how I feel and not get devalued.
We sold the house and all the relatives who had never connected me, did not even know how I was, come together. They said I shouldn't cry. otherwise, the mother's spirit will stay here with me. Now can you understand what kind of religious component is also arriving in our country? I could not show emotions because of the loss of a loved one, it was condemned! My mother was called an alcoholic, deranged, nobody gave a fuck about her, except for me alone, who lived next to her and was next to her.
After die my mother, my parents received my mother's pension for my guardianship. And my parents drunk this money in the evenings, and when I needed elementary educational things, they told me that they had no money. They also felt that I was not going anywhere now and began to take control of me as much as possible. They told me to my face that I owed them for all that they had done for me. The second half of my life, when all my peers enjoyed each other's company and had fun, I sat in the room and just painted. It was my only salvation. I lived with my stepmother and my father, who beat me, especially they began to commit atrocities after my mother's death.
I have already made plans to leave the country. I asked them to pay for me to study German, I wanted to go to Germany. To such conversations, my father said that nobody needed me in Germany, that I was full of shit . In general, as you understand, all my plans for the future have sunk into oblivion. I didn't even ask to be funded, I just asked to pay for German lessons with my own money.
And I started counting all the days until I become an adult. I was waiting for the hour when I could escape from them. AND I WAITED! I reissued all the money for myself, waited until my parents were not at home, my friends helped me pack all my things, I called a truck and I went to live in a hostel. My parents changed the locks after my departure and did not contact me for 3 months. Until my father decided to somehow contact me.
Alas, such were the realities of our country.
And then I breathed fresh air, it was the first time in my life when I felt freedom!
I finished my studies and got 2-3 jobs, I worked as a regular salesman.
But then I realized that I could draw, I wanted to feel it again and took up work on this site. You can't imagine how glad I was to find out that there are so many wonderful people here that I can work with, we can draw furry animals and enjoy it.
This has been going on for 2 years, I just started to move forward and try to do something new, I found a wonderful young man with whom we are now working together. We had dreams for a bright future, our house, our children, my boyfriend was a ray of light for me after so many years of my fucking life.
I just started to work out all my psychological problems, since I have been living with anxiety since childhood, it was terribly painful for me to go through therapy, I cried every day remembering all the stories from my life, I had to live them and let them go again. Since I've been hoarding all this shit all these years in myself.
AND THIS DAMN, TERRIBLE, UNBEARABLE WAR BEGAN
I read every news with jitters, I saw how the whole world hates us now, how borders are being closed to us, how my future is flying to hell and my hopes are being trampled by this terrible government. I became powerless, I was crushed, destroyed morally. I didn't understand why I had this whole fucking life, why I was born in this fucking world where I can't live peacefully and peacefully with all people.
I talked to my friends from Ukraine and I saw how they were suffering, I saw that they no longer have homes, there is no hope, I tried to support them morally, even though I was morally crushed myself. I didn't realize how in this fucking 21st century people can start wars. I don't understand anything, I just wanted to live in peace.
Everyone is asking us to come out on the street. But you can't imagine that we are literally divided into two camps. The old generation who are ready to continue living on in complete shit, and we are the new generation who all hoped for a bright future, having what we have now. We are forbidden to just talk, we are imprisoned, everyone who goes will be sent to death, to war and will not be asked.
I don't want to lose my life, I've been holding on all these years, trying to stand on my feet, avoiding the thought of suicide, I had hope.
I don't want to live next to people who support the war, I don't want to hear these nasty speeches justifying this anymore. We are fighting in two camps, you can't imagine how unbearable it is. We are hated from the outside, and everyone who is against us here oppresses and hates us, calling that we have betrayed the motherland.
Now for the news that my earnings have been cut off. My parents just laughed at me and said that, really, I will find a normal job, but alas, this job will no longer be. I don't have any parental support.
This platform gave me a sip of dreams and hopes for a bright future, alas, now the state has taken that away too.
Now our cards are blocked abroad, there is no paypal anymore, and other alternatives will soon also be unavailable to us.
I never wanted to lay out my fucking soul, because it hurts me even to write this. But I think I should have opened my soul to you now, to show you the realities of this country, how great it is for us ordinary people to live here. I'm one of all the people who live a shitty life. And there are many of us, with broken lives of people.
If you have read this, I am grateful to you for it. I wrote it through pain and tears, it's very difficult.