So, shamefully, I've turned here to seek help because of recent financial trouble that my boyfriend and I are having to deal with right now; as well as shed a light on some recent events to explain my lack of social interaction many of my closer friends have probably noticed as of late.

I guess I should start off by mentioning that our troubles have been spanning over months now; and I've gotta say... I'm reaching my limit. Between losing friends, pretty much being disowned by parents, overall family problems spanning from fights leading to some hurting themselves, and a much more personal and pressing matter that has been eating away at me from the inside; It's left me pretty worn down and on the brink of emotional breakdown. And that's just the stuff I can come up with right now.

Now, to top that all off, I just got a letter in the mail because we've been behind on rent, since back in December we had a stupid amount of financial issues that arose from bills not going through, poor money management etc. etc.

So, I'm asking here and now for anyone to please help; For the next little while I'm going to trying my hardest to draw as much as I can hoping to collect donations to help set our financial affairs in order. I already have one commission owing, that because of these recent troubles, I haven't even had the slightest motivation to get through. But now I have to really kick my ass in gear and hopefully get as much money as I can together before the hearing on April 3rd.

And lastly, I need to be honest.

Those of you who know me, already know I don't work. The only way I bring in any cash is through my commissions alone, we've never been in a tight spot like this before and its really just a shitload of horrible circumstance and awful decision making on my part.

I am cause of all of this, but my boyfriend shouldn't go hungry or worry about the roof over his head because I'm a fucking idiot. So please, call me an greedy asshole or whatever else if you need to, but at the very least consider helping out someone who has been taking care of me for 6 years without hesitation or complaint.

I will make a new journal with details about how I'm going to go about this very soon... But I'd also love suggestions and feedback.

I'm so sorry guys, I really feel like shit for having to even ask. If anyone is left confused here, I'm pretty much having a full-blown anxiety attack and can't really focus my words properly. I'll gladly answer any questions here or via note.

Ciao for now, and thank you for taking the time to read this...

-N

So! It's 'that' time of the week and even though these DO tend to be unsuccessful, I guess I wouldn't mind trying once more!

As per usual, ask away!

We're strapped for cash this month and I'm hoping to stretch my art muscles a bit, and I don't think I've 'officially' offered a proper commissions journal yet.
I might do one of those snazzy 'Open for Commissions' submissions later in the future, but honestly, I kind of dislike those along with the YCH auction images... But whatever, advertisement is the key to success, after all!

My price guide can be found here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12422042/

Currently, as the title states, I'm offering three slots for a Full-Color (Lined or Lineless) and two Sketches. Full-Colors take massive amounts of effort and motivation to complete properly, so if you decide to go with that it will get done as quickly as possible but it may take a little longer <3.

Please leave a comment here if you're interested, and I welcome any questions/concerns you may have, so feel free to note/comment here as well if need be!

---

[SLOT 1//Full-Color]:

[SLOT 2//Sketch]:

[SLOT 3//Sketch]:

---

(I am so awful at this sort of stuff .-.)

[F5] For shiny new avatar.

Title.

Just a quick heads up to all of the lovely peeps who keep on mashing dat 'Favourite' button on my stuff, thanks a bunch! Sometimes i do end up getting -a lot- of favs when I just post something, so please forgive me if I don't get around to thanking everyone (Especially those who favourite my stuff more than once.)

I always appreciate every single one =D! So I'll do my best to keep up in the 'Thanks' department as best I can.

--

As for other news... There is none! My life is too dull for such things :B.

Noticed this is rather the 'popular' thing to do around here to introduce oneself the community and such. So I figured I'd give it a try; basically an interview right? Ask away!

Would anyone be interested in this? I think it could be kind of fun. Quality of drawing goes up with price, etc. etc.

Stay tuned for the next few days, I may be opening up a few slots to help pay some of the bills here. Just an update to let you guys know I'm still alive :].

Ciao for now,
~N

Working on a few over-due requests, maybe doing some quick for-fun speed sketches if the mood strikes me. Come on in!

https://join.me/153-544-401

"What a beautiful day for a tragedy."

Lately I've been beginning to fall behind in many things that are essential and helpful in spreading both name and art out among the big-wide interwebz. Namely is the lack of commitment towards actually integrating myself within the community along with even basic communication. So, this journal is just a notice to those who take the time to read them that there will be small and subtle changes to this account and along with other various changes with myself in the coming days (hopefully).

---

In the next couple of days, you will notice:
- A large portion of submissions in my gallery may be moved to scraps and/or deleted.*

- Profile Information will be thoroughly re-updated, providing information in regards to minor commission notices, requests policy, and other general things. (I may require the help of a few friends to work that out.)

- More journal updates regarding opening of commissions, streams, and general life.

- Will -attempt- to become more active within the community, going around and viewing artwork, adding more favourites and most certainly trying to comment more often.

- Journal updates which will include fun trivia, random informational tid-bits, and with a bit of collaboration with a close few, perhaps even some contests!

---

*I am simply going to be deleting works that are extremely outdated or just outright awful looking. If you wish to have copies for yourself for whatever reason, please save them now before they get removed entirely. You should have a day or so, which should be enough time to quickly scan through them.


A lot of blatant bitching and moaning has been occurring on my part for awhile now, and major apologies are owed to the few who have had to endure it for the most part. I hope that I can count on you guys to help walk me through some of this and help keep things lively and motivated so that we can all both get along and enjoy our time here much, much more.

So, that being said, everything has already been moved to scraps, next part will be deciding what gets deleted.

Ciao for now, folks, and sorry for the -long- time without a proper update. My artwork has gotten better, now it's time to work on my people skills lol!

-N



ALSO:

If you have -any- suggestions regarding my profile, submissions, commissions, etc. etc. feel free to comment below!

Tell me... What is death to a man who views life through a gray lens? Each second ticking towards fateful partings as the wind hurries us forward. Every action and it's meaning we take upon ourselves is the attempt to mold us into a memory which will not fade. The clock hands dial forward endlessly, unbiased and uncaring of who we are or what we accomplish.

Some will march forward, expiration of their lives but a fictitious concept. Others will sprint, throwing themselves at time and history to prove that they once were. They once will be. They always were.

Then there is that person... The wind cannot move him, time cannot force him, death cannot bother him. He simply stands watch, a witness of the existence that has come to be and shall always be. This realization, it buries itself deep into the heart. Like a stone in the water, heavy and cold. It's the realization that he's come to understand that everything in it's own way is meaningless. he does not think this with contempt or bitterness, it is simply the way of things that every fiber of your being is simply another page of an existence you never even asked for to begin with. It's a boredom in which you come to understand, that all of the expectations of others around you are simply their own attempts to bringing justification to your being here.

But He knows all to well.

He knows it's not what he wants, he doesn't want purpose. A world where judgement comes from even the most trivial things, against everything else the vastness of the cosmos has to offer. He wants understanding, He wants to know why it is that we fear the other side, why we've forgotten what it is like to break free from the bonds of law and to dive into the impossible in unison.

He does not want normality, but rather originality. To return to a point where the unknown sparked ideals and heroes, where death was considered a privilege, not a punishment.

All of these thoughts sift through a mind that has become weary of the monotone, gray-scale 'way of life' we cling to. Each step forward leads to the opposite direction, going nowhere. Treading ground we have already seen, bickering about what can't be done rather than what should be attempted.

So... One last time, you let the wind gently guide you forward, but this time, it is not towards the world we've come to know. No... Instead it's a slow stride along the edge of oblivion. Looking down below, there is the innocence that once captures the spirit of life in children. Curiosity.

Everyone lives to die. They stomp their foot into the pages of history as hard as they can so that others know they once walked alongside us. Not me. When the colorless sky has greeted an empty mind once more, I will smile, and take one last step. Not so that I will become a memory, another breath of the great universe in which we all inhabit... No. I will smile, and take that step, simply because I am selfish. I want to know what death is. I want to experience the impossible just once more, where it cannot be explained, justified or used... It just is.

When this day comes, it will not be a sad one. But rather the beginning of truth to myself. Until that day has come, I will continue to stand watch, alongside those who share in these words of a madman.

Because the world owes you nothing, and neither do you. So leap towards what you deem to be truth, truth that finally fulfills you. For when I leap, it will not be the stars I aim for, it will be my origin.

That is true liberation.




-Thoughts of a man in gray

Well, since this is far long overdue, I guess it's about time that I give an 'update' on recent events.

==============
=Life As It Seems:=
==============

There has been a lot of ups and downs lately in the world that is Nialus. Everything from heartbreak to happiest moments, the spectrum of emotions that have been facilitating the day to day have become steadily overwhelming over the past while. The most recent debilitating event being that of a fight with a really close friend of mine. In all honesty, it quite nearly destroyed me suffice to say. But as it is, he gave me a quick declaration of things he wanted to and not to do. This is fine, because at this point I really don't want to agitate the wound more than it already has, so I've quietly decided to bite the bullet and just accept whatever ultimatum.

Among other things, today is the 4 year anniversary of my boyfriend and I. So that was something that helped perked up the mood. I've also been having on and off conversations with friends over the previous weeks, and I know a lot of you might think I'm outright ignoring you for whatever negative reason you might think I have, but cut me some slack, I'm multitasking about ten things when I'm messaged.

There is also the issue of my continued presence here at FA. Don't get me wrong, this is not a declaration of my leave once again, I like being here. But as it stands, it's hard to keep up the energy that fuels the feedback and activity necessary to help maintain a steady stream of people coming to my page. There is also the issue of the "Porn Industry" that FA is fundamentally run on. I love me a good XXX image, but god damnit, it's no wonder that people are ridiculed so often for being a "Furry" lol. When it comes to the decision of me choosing to do Porn JUST so that I am able to rake in a few extra peeps, it's pretty disheartening.


===============
==Art As It Seems:==
===============

Among everything else, I do apologize for the lack of updates drawing-wise. Honestly, motivation is close to 0%. The few quality-lacking pieces I did post was just force-fed inspiration to do SOMETHING. This is mainly due to the fact that the people who acted as my muse, are no longer active or I have nuked bridges with. That horrifying moment when you realize that the reason you were able to speedsketch 30 drawings a week just to make a friend smile is gone, is absolutely soul crushing. So, as it stands, drawing may come to a complete stop altogether soon. Streams are empty, conversations are dull and lifeless, and the negative drama fuels negativity which breeds depression that ultimately leads to me doing nothing in the end.

I really am trying to imrpove upon things, and as it stands, I'm hoping to fix friendships I have moronically ripped apart in the future. But the level of shame is a real deterrent. In any case, this about wraps up everything you need to know.

I do apologize about the lengthy journal, and I know about 99.9% of you won't read it, but it's there for those that do. I'll tell everyone now, I'm not looking for comfort or reassurance. Not looking for people to tell me they're "My friends", trust me, if I didn't think that I'd tell you to outright go f*** yourself 8D. Right now, I'm looking for solutions, reasons to help me restart and respark my desire to draw for YOU guys, and especially close friends.


That's all, kids
-N

Not dead. Got talked into staying awhile ago. Bought a new tablet, on it's way in the mail. Might see a possible return from me, no guarantees. Keep your eyes peeled for more free drawings.

-Nialus

I'll keep it short, and simple. Nialus is tired. He is emotionally exhausted. Tired of over-caring, over-dramatizing, and most of all, hiding behind smiles. You've read this journal a billion times from countless other users, "I'm leaving FA, blah blah blah enterincoherentreasonhere." Fact is, there is a high probability you'll notice and empty gallery soon, and an 'Offline' Nialus on Skype/MSN/FA/Steam etc.

Just letting you all know. Ciao for now.

-N

Hey everyone!

I'm just writing this to give a standard update on what's been going on lately, I know most of you won't read this, or just skim it and go on by, so that's perfectly fine!

In any case, things around the apartment haven't been exceedingly exciting. These days I'm mostly just living the day-to-day and attempting to keep myself occupied. My social life and exposure to actual oxygen and sunlight has been severely limited as of late, mostly due to my own laziness. I've been playing a plethora of new releases that have come out recently on Steam, and that's been keeping myself entertained for the most part.

If you guys want a recommendation, and consider yourself a hard-core gamer, I'd recommend picking up a copy of Dark Souls for the PC. The game offers an incredible challenge that hasn't existed in games since the SNES. If you do get a copy, I seriously recommend bookmarking the wiki page for it, because strategies, walkthroughs and know-hows are stupidly essential if you don't want to claw your eyes out in frustration before the first hours are even up. Trust me, that game is stupidly fun once you get the hang of it, so don't fret if you die a thousand times, it's GOING to happen.

As for 'art', some of you have noticed that I've been posting a few things every now and then. The tablet lives by a thread thanks to a healthy (and very generous) application of duct tape. The pen is the worst offender, but the tablet is on its last legs and has frequent 'episodes'. I have come to call her Judith and she suffers from chronic 'Will-Only-Work-When-She-Wants-To' syndrome. Using her as a coaster probably doesn't help either. Most of the works I have posted are just minor sketches, albeit the odd 'fully colored' piece every now and again too.

I also need to apologize for the very late night streams that I've been having. Unfortunately, my boyfriend currently works the graveyard shifts for the next week still, so my sleeping schedule is basically up all night and sleep all day. But please feel free to join the stream if you're bored and have nothing to do! I always welcome new faces and I have a very nasty habit of drawing sketches for people to keep things interesting. That and some very suggestive humors from three people in particular (You know who you are!). I'll also list below the next few things I have to get out of the way before I'm free to work on my own stuff again. I tend to have a nasty habit of making half-finished work these days, mostly due to the tablets fault, it really kills the motivation when my brushes suddenly turn 20 sizes too big and create huge smears every half a nanosecond.

Well, that about covers it for now, look below for my current 'To-Do'!

-N

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=TO-DO=
=======

-ZAPHER REQUEST: "Gaming Buddies" - Nialus, Drake, Zapher

-HAWKSMAN REQUEST: "Bad Dog" - Ashend on all-fours.

-THIZORAC' REQUEST: "Second to None" - Tech E. X Ace Bunny to finish coloring.

Well, it's been yet another birthday just flying by without much going on. It was a pretty quiet day just sitting on the couch playing around in Skyrim, such is most of my Birthdays, which is mostly why I tend to dislike them. I was really hoping to host a day where I could just draw super quick sketches for you all, but alas without a proper working tablet it was impossible. So I apologize :c. I do want to let most of my watchers know that I am still around, and I'm extremely sorry for not being able to update like I used to. It's such a bummer not being able to draw like I used to.

I hope you all have a fantastic day, and enjoy the fun and drama that FA continues to feed our feeble little minds.

-N

Well, after much electrical tape, frustration, and copious amounts of caffeine, I've managed to get my tablet working for a little bit. It still frequently breaks and I'm not sure how long this fix will last, but I'm hoping to produce one or two more things before I break it in half forever.

That's all
-N

So, unfortunately there will be no more drawings uploaded by me for a very long time. My tablet has finally given out, and I barely have enough money to get through the month with rent, internet, food etc. to be able to buy a new one. As much as I loved doing requests for you all, it seems I won't be able to for a very, VERY long time, or ever again. Since I don't take commissions, I simply will never have the funds possible to buy a new one, so those of you who watch me, I apologize, and appreciate your time <3.

At least I managed to post up a few more beforehand.

RIP my lovely Intuos3, you and I have had many hardships together, and have lasted longer than I honestly thought possible.

-N

P.S. I apologize to  DarkShadowFoxx, since it was during the middle of working on his request that it stopped working. Maybe I'll find a way to complete it sometime, I don't know. But I'm sincerely sorry for not being able to get it done, love. </3

So this journal is just a quick update to the people who do actually take the time to flip through these whenever I do get around to posting them, I just wanted to apologize for the lack of updates lately. I've quite literally run out of motivation to even pick up my tablet pen anymore, I just don't have it in me to even doodle. I think this may go on for a very long time this time, maybe even a few months. I just don't have that creative spark like I used to.

Anyways, just wanted to give you all a heads up, I enjoyed the Livestreams that I would host and some of you would join, but alas I think there won't be any for awhile. Ciao for now and don't be afraid to hit me up via Note or whatever else.

-N

"It is the spark which ignites an inferno, the first step to a long journey; and here I sit with neither, witnessing my time-stilled path through a window of possibilities."

... WHEW! That was a close one! Could've sworn that boss called Procrastination nearly killed me!

Anyways, hey everyone!

My last journal is from what... A year ago? That's terrible. Really terrible. But now, thanks to the very marvelous and sweet  malak1147, my ass has been kick started into actually becoming more active among the interwebz. My plans for the future are to greatly increase awareness of my art and improve more and more over time, for the sole purpose of providing all of YOU with both exceptional yiff/furry porn for your enjoyment, and the standard/badass images as well.

I do apologize for the sudden influx of postings, most of them being Nialus. Trust me, I'll be doing my best to increase the diversity of my artwork as I go, but for now I'm still within my comfort zone of "what I know". I have a few plans and ideas I need to work out, plus some LONG over due requests that I owe people.


I hope you all will help me and support me as I set my first forward henceforth, because without you guys, none of this has any meaning for me. I appreciate the boost of motivation that Malak has given me, and there will be a small comic series depicting his character "Levinas" and my own "Daemon", which the first page should be posted soon enough.

That's all I have for now folks, take care!

-Nialus <3

QUICK UPDATE!:
ALSO! For the HUGE amount of people who just favourited and watched me, I'm so sorry if I don't give my thanks back right away. I've literally just been swarmed with notifications and I'm multitasking so many things I might not get around to thanking you right away. But DO know that I REALLY, REALLY appreciate it!

Well, as this will be my first journal, I suppose an introduction is in order!

My name is Dean, but I go by "Nialus" or "Vincent" whichever suits your mood. I'm an upstart artist who has been drawing for about... A year and a half I would guess? I haven't improved too much, and I'm still VERY far away from ever reaching the level of some of the artists I have seen. But I hope that with my joining of this community, I'll eventually become both a better artist and person =D!

I live in Canada, Ontario. 18 years old and happily in love with my partner Ronald, 2 years and counting as of January 27th. I take interest in many things, but technology and video games are probably the biggest of them all. I am a heavy gamer, and thoroughly enjoy most RPGs (Mass Effect, Oblivion, Dragon Age, Fallout etc.). My character, Nialus D. Coyote, is based off an old Looney Tunes spin off that was canceled quite a long time ago, Loonatics Unleashed.

You'll come to find I draw coyotes, especially my own OC, quite often. It's more or less what I'm most comfortable with, but hopefully in the near future I will also be able to draw all sorts of anthro types =D! Definitely huskies, because, I like huskies. A lot. >8|

Anyways, it's about 3:00am as I write this so I suppose I'll end it now.
Look forward to being here!

-Dean AKA// Nialus