i need a break

wut tha freak

why does he draw dog chins like that

stupid bitch capitalist america shit ass making me own a car to get anywhere

i didnt expect the movie to be as moving as it was, but more importantly the saja boys r rly hot in their demon forms

i normally write things like this in my journal but for some reason it feels fitting to post this here. i am an associative thinker so if my thoughts sound jumbled/borderline nonsensical that is why.

i have a habit of looking at old posts made by old accounts on the internet. old art especially. i've done this for many many years at this point. i feel envious of these people. but envy can mean something destructive and thats not what i mean at all. well... i actually used to act out and hurt my friends who i was jealous of when i was really young. but im adult and im past that behavior now. nowadays its more like a sad feeling. i feel sad about not having close-knit friendships like the ones they have. they seem shameless about their art and interests and love to express themselves. they seem invested into their own lives. they have something to look forward to and they feel they belong in a community. they seem well-liked and respected. they're affectionate with each other. not to mention that they are not in the closet. they have normal people problems instead of the ones i have. they don't seem like they lost hope in themselves. in spite of everything, they seem happy.

i am an adult now. i can do whatever i want without my horrible parents stifling me. i could do these things, if i wanted to. but i feel like the time is gone. its too late. society has changed too much and the imprints have been made on me. im not sure how much of this is me dooming or me being realistic about my c-ptsd symptoms. but it feels horrible knowing that going to cons and halloween events with my irls was something i should have started doing 10+++ years ago. i go out with my friends and i dont feel excited or happy about anything. i dont know what to feel. i dont know how to behave. so much time has passed and what have i done? i have no happy childhood memories. i just have memories of being sexually abused, having my emotions ignored, and being told i wasnt worth anything.

i blame tiktok

and not a horribly anxious autistic 21 year old woman-ish thing with a long history of abuse and neglect u_u

howl for me my furry friends

i need that ps5 and anime figurine

because i dont knowwww

ok but like how DID he get there

i think i am beginning to notice the influence hes had on my artwork

:3

just thought i should put that out there

its because of my warrior cats roots but furry art was more about venting to me than a fetish

not to say that im not deeply in love with any animated fox, dont get me wrong like

when ppl upload their sketches?

it makes me wonder if i will ever be able to socialize normally

i take it for granted sometimes.

very emotionally unintelligent

Looks up "bubsy" on furaffinity

i hope to upload artwork soon im sry for the delay

im watching her old stuff on internet archive. i looked up to her a lot when i was a kid in the early 2010s. i miss the creative prowess she had. she was one of a kind i hate to say it

i was recently diagnosed with a chronic illness that is known to be triggered from ptsd and trauma and i just want to say thank you to everyone in my life who made me so sick and fundementally unhappy. you all are the best

I know artists generally find it annoying to see their artwork reposted on another website without permission but seeing as all these big social media sites are now demanding ID for adult content, its safe to say we are going to see a decades worth of fandom content become lost media if we dont start collectively reposting and saving artwork we find important and meaningful

Who is a victim of domestic violence writhe in sadness when they watch how easily the world, including feminists, turned on amber heard like ooohhh that could very easily happen to me! And it kind of did