Orrin gave me a bluesky a while back, I just haven’t known what to do with it. I’m nikvulper there, on discord, on telegram, just like LJ & AIM back in the day. I didn’t want another Twitter, but I think I was doing it wrong the entire time I was on that site.

When that site spooled up I was trying to be furry staff, doing convention work & forum moderation. So I was normalizing to be presentable, to maintain working relationships. The platform never felt like a place to have fun. I got burnt out and hardly posted, then posted even less during the pandemic because it seemed like the world was ending.

I write a lot more than I post, I just stopped sharing it widely. I started drawing regularly last year, but usually just share my work with whoever I draw. I haven’t given my character an outlet in a long time.

I want to meet some new people, and talk more with the ones I already know.

I want to talk about the wacky wild things that got me into furry in the first place! So there will be talk of giants, vore, weight gain, and all the other kinky stuff I like. Which is mainly those three overlapping.

No vague posts about my boring job. No photographs of meals I make. No updates on garden produce.
(But if you’re curious I’ll gladly tell you about any of those on Telegram or Discord.)

So if you’re looking for me, that’s how to find me. Gimme a follow or send a message!

I wasn't ready for an art challenge, at least not a year long one.

Sharing artwork is tough! It's been well received by the subjects I've doodled so far, but I've struggled to rock up my courage to do that initial share. Then posting feels like a chore when you've got several stacked up.

So I'm going to go back to playing around, doodle whatever tickles my fancy. I'm still learning and I need a lot more practice, imposing a restriction like that was counter-productive.

More art to come when I get the gumption.

Last year I started drawing regularly. Turns out practice makes you get better at things. This year I'll be posting stuff, hope you enjoy!

( https://www.dropbox.com/s/tf0jmq17e.....A-REV.zip?dl=0 )

So that other journal about the Twitter account sure was up there for a while, but the new account really didn't pan out the way I wanted it to. Still tweeting on nikvulper tho.

Here's a LONG overdue upload of the story components that have been missing from the web for a while. So you can read it, if people still read stories nowadays.

Looking through my old journals man there was a lot of bitching, sorry about that. I just write commission descriptions nowadays, better payoff once you find an artist you can rely on. Doubt I'll be uploading my collection of stream commissions, the effort/reward ratio here just isn't worth the time.

See you in another 5+ years, or just look for me somewhere else if you want to improve your odds.

When I started nikvulper in 2009, I had just finished working on the second year of Furry Connection North. Everything was going pretty well at the time, and I was having fun doing something cool for the fandom. Unfortunately as the years went on, I ended up shouldering more responsibility as the event continued to grow. I was left with no time to prepare for things I wanted to do on stage, I got way too busy to podcast, I had hardly any time to enjoy the con as it was going on.

With the convention taking up all my furry time, and a friends list made up of more and more convention staff relations, I started hiding away the "kinky" stuff that makes furry fun for me. I wrote and deleted so many tweets because I was afraid of squicking someone and making my convention duties even more daunting. It was irrational, but that's where my head was at because of the stress.

In the year since FCN shut down, I've had time to realize how much things changed for me because of the con. When stressed out over things I couldn't control, unfollowing someone on Twitter was often a quick fix to feel like I repaired something, but it didn't help in the long run. It just pushed away the enjoyable side of things and made me focus more on what stressed me out. I need to reboot this situation, and the new account is what I'm going to try.

nikvulper is going to go private for boring real life stuff. foxthatneverwas will be for catching up with old friends, meeting new people, and trying to become a fan of furry again. Instead of worrying about whether or not people are following me back, I'm just going to follow accounts that I find interesting. I'm going to make role-play poses back and forth with people that are interested. It's going to be a place for me to get back to the roots of this character, something I created to have fun with.

If I'm new to you, hi! I'm usually online 8-4 on M-F, evening and weekend availability is sporadic. I enjoy a good role play, when my work day is slow, which is most of the time. My interests should be pretty clear from my gallery. I also enjoy talking about cooking, baking, gardening, and old school video games amongst other things. I'm seldomly interested in new video game news, brand war fanboying, politics or drama. Ain't nobody got time for that.

If I'm old to you, hi! Apologies for unfollowing you. I took the easy way out like a wimp, but at least I'll admit it. After being the e-mail contact tasked with explaining and re-explaining rules and policies to problematic convention attendees, I lost the part of me that could talk calmly with people about behavior that bugged me. I also treated Twitter a lot like LiveJournal in that I worried about follower counts and felt like I had to read everything, so I'd end up dropping people if they dominated my timeline. I do hope we can reconnect.

If you're an artist, hi! I think your work is neat, but I don't comment very often, usually feel lost in a sea of replies when I do. Even though I've been in the fandom for almost half of my life now, I still don't feel very confident around artists. I've made a fool of myself in the past trying to be friends with some, when I really didn't fit in with their social circle. That's one mistake I really don't care to repeat. However if you open up for commissions, I might through some cash you way, because your art is awesome.

Thanks for reading, feel free to reply here or @ me on Twitter with any further questions!

Looking to spend a couple $25 or so bursts on pictures. So I decided to flip the script and ask for people who are looking to get some cash to ask me for it.

The ideas in my brain right now are macro, with the need for some scenery. Others may be picked if your style inspires me or you have an idea for one of my characters.

If you're not accepting money, do you think could call this reverse commissioning?

Hey folks, as I started putting the news together for tonight's show I figured I should post a reminder of the move to Wednesday.

If you follow <a href="http://http://www.ustream.tv/channel/metho.....">this link</a> you can join in on the fun of the chatroom, and watch us live.

This will be episode 57 for Gir and me, so if you haven't been able to check us out live yet, please take a listen tonight!

Tune in on uStream in about 50 minutes and find out a big change planned for season 2.

http://bit.ly/m1live/

Finally got off my arse and into Windows to scan a bunch of art that had been collecting dust in my sketch book. Hope you all enjoy it. Does anybody know how to tag old pics & stories? I need to show up better in the search engine.

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/fcn-2009

Tune in early and watch Kage at 7 PM, I'm on right after him and before 2_gryphon

Then watch method 1 on the same stream at 7 PM tomorrow night!

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/method-1

Been meaning to make a post about this, I'll be starting my podcast in about 10 minutes and we do it every Sunday at 8 PM EST. Come check in and interact with the chat room, might even end up reading what you say on the air!

So I'm at Q'Doba, wearing one of my favorite shirts.

http://www.splitreason.com/product/631

I was looking down at my food and I saw a white spot on my shirt. I thought I had got sour cream on my shirt, and then I realized it was just Pluto.

How far has the former planet fallen?

There's that old adage that if someone is happy they won't bother telling anyone, but if you piss them off they'll tell everyone they know.

I find myself baffled as one of my old stories has been getting comments over the last few weeks. No watch, no+fav, never commented when it was new, but now they just wonder where it went. The reality is, it didn't get copied over in my server move. I'm gonna copy it over at some point, but I'm actually kinda glad it got lost temporarily.

I guess I'm weird because I'd rather talk to the creator about their work than leave a "NICE PIC" comment or just fave it. That said I don't fave or comment a whole lot, so it'd be kinda hypocritical for me to get upset that I'm not getting them. But I have been introduced to some cool people because of my writing. Some of them were short term encounters and some are long term friendships.

So apparently I have an audience, but they're mute. It's sad that people would be intimidated, but I guess it's a stigma in the fandom. I've been on the receiving end of a few snubs, so I try to respect anyone who takes the time to validate my work.

With that out of the way, I will have a new story up in the near future. And I'm still putting out a podcast every week, so check out http://www.method1show.com/ :)

So I just posted episode 4 of my podcast. Gir Tygrin & I started doing it a few weeks back, we've been having a lot of fun and people seem to like it. We lampoon the news, talk about beer, point folks to funny internet stuff, do reviews, talk about sports and answer your letters.

http://method1.michiganfurs.com

Check it out and tell me what you think :)

've been meaning to say something about this for a while, but it's one of those things that's hard to phrase. Still, it's better to put an official statement out than leave it to the grapevine of conjecture and rumor.

Have you ever had a friend that you only liked in small doses? Someone you could play a game with, or watch a movie with, but after a while you just didn't want to be around anymore? They'd just get on your nerves, you'd get on theirs, and if you were around each other for too long you'd both end up pissed off. After some time apart you could be totally cool again, but that length of time was dependent on how long you were stuck together the last time.

Well, imagine living with that person. If they get on your nerves you can't really get away because you're always under the same roof. Little stuff will build up, and soon individual problems become enormous because of all of the other things attached. Communication breaks down, hostilities expand as you end up talking through other people, and things get ugly.

Now when I had problems with the roommates at my first apartment, we had a light at the end of the tunnel. We made plans to go our separate ways when the lease ended, and that knowledge made us able to cope. After some time the problems we had evaporated and I'm actually happy to run into both of them when I see them at conventions. If I was in an apartment with 2, I would have done the same thing, and I don't think there would have been any hard feelings over the decision.

Unfortunately instead of being a roommate, I was now the landlord. Faced with someone I didn't want to live with anymore, there was no gentle way to do it. I had to tell him I didn't want to live with him anymore, and I had to deal with all of the consequences surrounding it. It definitely wasn't an easy thing to do, but with the support of a good friend I was able to work myself up to have the discussion and set things into motion.

Initially it went pretty well. We had an agreement that there was an ending to things, but the date was open based on some factors. Then stuff started moving out slowly, and he was still paying rent on his room while in transition. Then the confusion came into play.

Lack of communication along the way made the end of things get kinda ugly, and there was a conflict when I wanted to know if he was going to keep paying and when the rest of the stuff was moving out. We worked that out and I actually brought the last of his stuff over to his new place just to get things over with.

We still saw each other for con meetings while prepping FCN, but we didn't hang out. With con prep and school taking up a lot of my time I relied on people calling me up when they wanted to do stuff, spending more nights with nobody over or very small groups instead of the larger gatherings that had been over in the past. Still in need of time to heal the wounds, I never included him in the planning when I had people over. I didn't exclude him either, but we pretty much settled into our own separate circles of locals to hang out with.

He told me at an FCN staff meeting that Jibba was going to do the season opener. I mentioned that being a bit weird since it wouldn't really fit with the flow of the season closer, since I was fighting the zombie babies by his side after Jibba ran off. He didn't seem concerned with the continuity, and it was left at that. Then the show started getting recorded without him telling me that the tapings were going on, while other people I knew were getting invited.

He did ask me to do one episode of 2 Sense for the new season, the March 24th episode. He was taping on a Monday night so he could have it wrapped up before he went to Megaplex. I had school that night, and I told him I'd head over right after class, expecting the show to be ready to tape at 8 PM. This would wrap the show up by 10, then I'd be able to get enough sleep for work the next day. He told me he wanted to wait for Jibba to be free from work, pushing the start of taping back by more than an hour. I told him to just do the show with Jibba because I couldn't stay up that late and be functional for work the next day.

After that I still didn't hear about tapings. I didn't find out the plan for the FCN recording until about an hour before we went live. After the show I apologized for deciding not to do that one show, and he seemed to accept that. However, I still didn't get word of tapings even after expressly asking for them. Finally I asked him directly if I was still a co-host or if I was done with the show.

He gave me a good explanation, one that I couldn't argue with in the slightest. He likes recording the show with friends. Since the move, we hadn't really been friends. The chemistry was gone. He did like the job I had done on the show in the past, and the FCN show went quite well, but with nothing else in common he didn't want me on the show. And I agreed.

I knew it was a consequence of not living with him any more, but it wasn't enough of a point for me to keep living with him. I honestly expected it to be thrown out there as a ploy to not have to move, and if it had come up at that point I would have quit right there. Instead of a bang during it argument, it came as a whimper when I asked him about it point blank. I wish he would have been more direct and told me without being prompted, but it could have seemed like a "neener neener" sort of thing if he did it that way. Much like the whole need to move out, there wasn't a perfect way to take care of things.

So that's the story. I won't be co-hosting anytime soon, but never say never. So if you only care about me and my account because of 2 Sense, you might as well unsubscribe. The itch to perform is still there, so I might just end up doing my own thing down the road. Thanks for reading :)

http://nikvulper.deviantart.com/art.....Genie-83597223

It's a human based story, so I left it up there. Figured there's no better way to celebrate Earth Day than by posting a story where one greedy girl consumes the entire planet.

This was written back in August of last year, I've just never posted it anywhere due to emo-writers-block. No guarantees that it will result in me writing again.

So when I was initially talking attendance with Gir Tygrin, we projected 150. Then we hit that many on pre-reg. Other con chairs said we could double that, so we did all of our purchasing based on 300. We beat that on Friday night. Then we just had the goal of topping FA:United's attendance. We did that Saturday morning. Our last goal was topping Rainfurrence, which was going to be hard, since they had a previous Seattle con to build off of. We made that one too.

THREE HUNDRED SEVENTY TWO

This con was really amazing for all of us. Most of our staff had never worked a con before. So many things could have gone wrong, but it all went so well. I thank all of the folks who gave us advice along the way. We tried to follow the example of the cons we've loved, and amplify all of those ideals to 11. The seasoning of our own plans made for an awesome recipe.

Our reg line hit a peak of a dozen, Gerret and our helpers kept things moving, in spite of the weak internet connection. The con suite was amazing, the dances ruled, the dealers were happy, games were played, the atrium let everyone hang out, and the panels were well attended. Everything ran better than a first year con had right to.

Better yet, thanks in part to my financial wizardry, we're in the black. For you non-fiscal types, that means we still have money. So as awesome as things were this year, we're gonna be even better next year. So if you didn't come, you missed out, but there's no worry. FCN 2009 will be bigger, better and... awesomer.

10.000 thank yous to everyone who advertised, staffed, gophered, and attended. There is no other way, and no better group of people that I could have spent my weekend with. I can't wait to do it again.

So I'm gonna post two stories after I make this journal entry. I've been meaning to post them for a while, but I just never got the proper gumption to do it. One is a birthday story for  verace It's rather late to be posting, but it kinda got hung up in editing & approval because of the holidays and school and everything.

The other... well... it's the source of those last two journals I made before going quiet. I initially wrote most of the tradee's idea in June of last year, then waited the return of the trade to finish it. And waited... and waited... until one day the tradee asked me to write something else. I told him I'd want to get their half of our trade before I wrote anything else, but they had forgotten that I had written up their idea.

It really shook me to my foundations as a writer. I've been burned before, but that felt like being shot in to the sun. I told myself I was going to give up writing. The stories were going to be posted as "The Last Thing I Ever Wrote" and "Why I Stopped Writing". I'm still not entirely at peace, but I'm a step or two past that point.

The second story has been edited to remove all traces of the tradee's characters, and I will ignore any prods for information as to their identity. I've made my peace with the situation and with trades in general, which is to say I won't be doing any in a circumstance I can envision.

It was actually reading over the end of the story that helped get me past the "never going to write again" mood I was in. Though I sincerely doubt a retribution such as that between myself and the tradee will ever come to fruition, reading it stirred something in me. Hopefully I'll someday again have the strength to write something that stirs someone else.

Write it all off, it's not coming.

Perhaps the answer is going in to hiding, as well as I can at this point at least.

Being a home owner, I love writing off my mortgage interest as a tax deduction.

Being a writer, I hate writing off trades that never get returned. I also hate debts that never get paid back.

I have a log of the money people owe me that I'm pretty sure I'll never see again. I also know every person who owes me something tangible. But when does one say "fuck it" and just accept that they'll never get what's owed? How long do you wait until you give up waiting for it? How does one carry on with any generosity when you've been screwed in the past? Why can people be so callous?

Do those questions even have answers? Why should I even bother? Does my work have any value?

I can't answer any of that.

I think man as a creature is designed to deal with conflict. We need an enemy to fight, a challenge to be surmounted, a battle to win. If we don't have something to fill this need, we seek it out. If we can't find anything, we take it out upon ourselves.

This is a battle I've been struggling with lately, as many facets of my life have left me complacent. Work is work, I show up, I do things, I get paid. I take the money I'm paid and pay for the house, which I do not need to currently improve in any significant fashion, nor do I have the desire to. I get to work in a car that runs well and I find satisfactory to drive. I'm taking a class this semester that only offers the challenge of staying awake through it.

So with nothing else on tap, I end up going after myself. The above list is rather untouchable, can't do something sudden to change my job/work/car. So I battle to do something creative, but then I run headlong into the same old set of roadblocks. Worse than not being able to fight past them, they spread over into every creative facet.

I know I can't draw (well), but I still like to try sometimes. Normally I end up frustrated a few lines in. Then I try to write, and I shake my own confidence as I remind myself of all that's gone awry on that front.

I sat with a good idea for a trade with someone I know would do his part in return, and he gave me carte blanche, saying I knew what he liked and just to write it. He wanted a surprise, but I couldn't get my idea moving. When I gave up on the concept, I told him what I had intended to write, and he told me it was a great idea. Seemed disappointed that I wouldn't be turning it into a story.

On top of all this roleplay hasn't been any better. Either I'm struggling to do things that I would normally enjoy with people I've done stuff with before, or I'm fruitlessly trying to get someone new to do something new. My easy fallback is coming up as anything but.

This all came crashing down on Friday, as I came home with the ability to do nothing but sleep. Rest made me feel a little better, but the problem was still right there when I got up. Once the distraction was over Saturday (yay Michigan football win), I was back to staring at the same problems. I had gotten up from rock bottom, but I was stuck at medium.

I took the opportunity to talk to someone that I'd been wanting to on Saturday night. Working past a few things that had happened between us made me feel better for a while, but I don't know if it'll change much long term. Still have a lot of other people to work out issues with, and I doubt any of them will go as smoothly as they did with him.

Unfortunately all of this creative lockdown is creeping into everything I do. I'm afraid to do the show tonight. Plenty of people have asked me how they can help, but I can't come up with a way for them to help. I'm stuck in this mental state, and I don't want to pull someone else into it.

I even figured out part of the problem, which is what is keeping me above water right now. It's not something I can defeat, but it is an explanation for how things are. It's little solace, but it's better than nothing.

There is one solution to all of this though, just a lot of blanks to fill in. Basically I need to find something that I'll be instantly good at, with a guaranteed zero percent chance of failure. Not only will I pick it up instantly, but my performance will have to be impressive to all. Plus I can't get bored or tired of doing the act.

As soon as someone finds that, I'll be cured.

Fact: I don't eat red meat, mainly because of the texture it gets when cooked.
Fact: Sometimes I just want to give up.
Habit: Being too easily dissuaded. My creative streaks are easily ruined by other people, and sometimes even by my own over-analysis.
Habit: I like to do things in multiples of five, take steps, crack joints, press buttons, scratch.
Dislike: People who only talk to me for computer help. I do that to pay the bills and I don't wanna do it when I'm home.
Dislike: Anything mass manufactured, e.g. subway sandwiches, old navy clothing, most popular things.

I am the meme killer... do it if you want to, I'm not the boss of you.

Many kudos to  rafferty who made me a bitchin' two-step walk-cycle 8-bit icon. Once I had it I couldn't resist editing it into the monstrosity that is now my user icon. Coming in mere bytes under the 25 KB limit ;)

I got mine as an early b-day gift, but you should go buy one because they're only $5. If you wanna know how to make yours walk all NOM & Macro like mine well... too bad ;)

I should have some new stories up soon, another trade and another something random. I really need to waste pixels in an OC session, any takers?

I will be...

...arriving on Thursday afternoon and leaving early Monday to go to Cedar Point.
...staying at the Marriott, the one that's actually closer to the con space than the main con hotel.
...rooming with Gerret and Tsumi
...wearing a <s>koopa</s> Spiky Turtle Hat that looks like http://vulper.com/stuff/koopa%20hat.jpg
...wearing a jersey that looks like http://vulper.com/stuff/shirt.gif
...hosting <I>"Planning a Furmeet"</I> with Gir Tygrin on Friday from 2:30 - 3:30 in the Cambria Ballroom.
...co-hosting the second half of <I>2 Sense Live!</I> Jibba will be co-hosting the first half.

I want to...

...interact with 2 Sense fans.
...catch up with the friends I see only at cons.
...meet people I've been wanting to meet.
...rock some asses at Set, Tetris DS, and other things I pwn at.
...make you LOL (http://vulper.com/stuff/fudgie.jpg), if you're in my presence.
...get some kick-ass art drawn.
...get dinner at Buca di Beppo.

So if you want to find me, look for any of the things that I will be doing. If you want to do anything I want to do, let's do it!

EDIT: Send me a note if you want my cell phone number, I'm on Verizon's infinite texting dealie.

Well, I'm moving pretty well through my unfinished and unposted work, which means I'm going to need more ideas if I want to keep writing. Give me a few words, and I'll turn it into a bunch of words. Then I'll give you some words and you can turn them into a picture, or a bunch of your own words.

Currently I've got a trade with  christopherundine that I'm working on, but I'd just love to be one of those artists who has a queue of stuff to do.