I'll keep this short and sweet and to the point. I was terminated from my job over a week ago due to a technicality. I'm doing what I can to pull my shiz together, but this is the first time I've ever been fired, so I have a lot going against me emotionally.

Anyway, I'm trying to use this time to catch up on old written commissions and I'm tentatively taking short new commissions at $5/500 words, no more than 2000 words per story to keep things easy on myself and make sure I carry through. If you're interested, please note me and we'll talk. If you already commissioned me, please note me so we can get things going on that.

That's about it. Have a great day everyone.

HERE'S WHAT I NEED!!!
If I owe you a story, please note me the theme, character references, how much you paid, word count owed, and any and all information you would like to see in the story. If you don't remember any of the information, give me what you do remember so I can find it myself. If there's anything you would like different from what we've already agreed on, just let me know. I know some of you have been waiting a long time, so it feels like the least I can do.

I will be verifying each and every note, but your information will give me a great starting point.

I have a helluva backlog on commissioned writings and I know it >.< It's high time I make good on those promises. So I joined Camp NaNo WriMo for the month of April with a word count goal of 25,000. That's a whole lot of words. I plan on pounding away at all those owed commissions to reach my goal. I might be late, but I'd like to think I always come through in the end.

DUE DATE!!!
Preferably April 1st. The sooner I can get your information, the more time I'll have to verify and ask any questions I need cleared up to make sure you get the story you were looking for. However, as long as you get the information in before the end of April, there's a chance I'll be able to still write it. Can't hurt to try, right?

If you don't get it in by the end of April, or I'm not able to get to yours, that doesn't mean it'll never get done. It just means that you might have to wait until Camp NaNo WriMo in July before I can get to it. I plan on having all commissions done before the end of the year.



If you have any questions, please feel free to ask on here or note me. Thank you.

I haven't touched this account for way, way too long x.x So a couple of updates and a bit of news to look forward to. Promise I'll do my best to keep it all writing-related X3

Update 1: RainFurrest is a GO!
Hard work payed off! Amenthor and I will be attending Rainfurrest 2015. We'll mostly be helping out the Writing Track and Programming folks, but I'm hoping to talk at some of the panels again as well. I had a lot of fun last year and now that I know some of the folks who will be attending, I think it'll be that much more of a blast. I'll keep you updated if I get approved for any of said panels :3 I'll also have the honor of being liaison to Renee Carter Hall, aka Poetigress, aka the current president of the Furry Writer's Guild and an all around cool person. I'll definitely be looking forward to that!

Update 2: Speaking of Furry Writer's Guild...
This place is friggin' awesome for writers. You don't have to be a member of the Guild to utilize their forums or the oodles of tools they have to offer. There is so so much great information, including submission calls. The folks there are all really friendly and happy to offer what advice they can. During my nearly ten hours a day behind a desk at work, I spend most of it in the ShoutBox there, so if you join up feel free to stop in and say hi!

Update 3: I'm-a Big Leagues Now!
So I already have "Tech Flesh" published in last year's Rainfurrest anthology, Furtual Horizons (a non-for-profit raising money for Cougar Canyon, so be sure to check it out!), Just recently I had a short story accepted for one of the Will of the Alpha volumes. It's the longest story I've written since, well, high school, and I'm really happy of the way it turned out. I also submitted a story for this year's RainFurrest anthology and am waiting to see if it'll be accepted. I'll be sure to keep you guys updated on that, as well :3 I also have my own anthology I'll be putting together over the year, and the publishers are shooting for a release at AC 2016, so that's really exciting :3

Big News: Speaking of Writing...
I'll be taking a break from anthologies over the summer. I've been itching to work on my own projects without having to fight deadlines. I also realized I have a whole load of commissions I'm super late on >.> I feel awful about this, so I'm going to try to focus on pounding those all out. Since it's been so long, I'll be asking folks to note me what they'd want the story to be about these days. I'll be posting a separate journal for when I'm ready for the onslaught, so please be sure to keep your eyes open.

That's everything as far as my writing goes. Again, sorry I've been so quiet for so long >.< I'm hoping to change that from here on out. Thank you all for being so cool about everything.

Typing this here since I'm on my phone and can't upload text submissions from here.

'Release'
Release me from the cold and lonely night
Heal me with the warmth of morning light
Release me from old regrets and hopeless dismay
Heal me with the boundless promise of a new day
Release me from the pain and scars I bare
Heal me, please, with the endless love we share.

Just a simple little rhyme. Nothing special. Yet sometimes it's the simplest of poems that can convey the deepest emotions.

I had created Nite when I was lost in the darkness. Since then, I've found my Spirit, my mate. He's brought the light of laughter into my world, chasing away the night down to the last shadow that had haunted me. Now I no longer want the cold dark night. I crave the warmth and promise of a new day. It's why Munchkin is so important to me. It's why I sometimes feel trapped by Nite.

Yet Nite is the face so many know me as, so what can a person really do? The mask will remain with me, but she no longer needs to be apart of me, chaining me to the cold and the dark. I would rather dance in the morning light and keep her tucked carefully away in my pocket to be donned when I choose to, and taken off when I want. She no longer controls me, and it feels great to get to know the girl behind her after so many years. I like this person my Spirit has helped me uncover, and I look forward to learning more and more about her.

I decided to volunteer for some of the writing panels for Rainfurrest this year. They emailed me the list of planned panels, and it didn't take long for a few gallons of drool to suddenly form beneath my chin.

May I just pitch a tent in the room the writing panels are being held in and call it home for the weekend? Please?

I'm sorry RF, the only reason I haven't replied yet is because I want to ~attend ~ about 92% of them.

So if anyone is planning to go and wants to find me, that room is going to be your best bet. If I'm not there, I'll either be in the artist alley looking to add to my new badge collection or trolling the largest game of CAH that I can find (15 players last year was ridiculously awesome or awesomely ridiculous, haven't decided which yet XD)

I'm working out some ideas for Upsilon's species should they be made an official species. Just trying to get thoughts sorted out and toy with ideas for history and the likes. Feel free to ignore.

~ Physical Features ~

--Musts--
-Long thick tail that tapers down and ends with a large tuft of fur in the shape of a spade.
-Feet are digitigrade and taloned; too large for normal shoes to fit.
-Large pointed ears, each about 1/2 - 2/3 the size of the head.
-Short muzzle, much like a domestic shorthair feline.
-Covered in very fine, very short, silky fur.
-The 'spade' is made of the same hair that grows on the top of their head.

--Possibles--
-Hair and 'spade' are the same color.
-Base color tends toward either to be natural, white, black, or shades of grey.
-Markings and hair can be natural colors or something a bit more wild.
-Markings tend to be minimal.
-Hair designs tend to match (if hair on head is tipped a color, so would the hair that makes up the spade be; if hair on head is streaked, so would the hair that makes up the spade be tipped; etc).

--Rares--
-Outrageous colors for the base fur.
-Fanciful markings (fleur de lis, curlicues, other things not found naturally).
-Wings of any sort (though leathery/batlike covered in the same fine short would be far more likely than feathered. Still thus far unheard of though).
-Horns of any sort (though not nearly as unheard of as wings; small ones are more likely than large, curled 'ram horns' more likely than large straight horns; large straight horns more likely than antlers; antlers thus far unheard of).

I think that's everything for the physical. I'll try to add to this more either later or tomorrow.

~Characteristics~

Most are very inquisitive about the world and people around them, leading to studies in sociology, psychology, history, archeology, physics, engineering, biology, medicine, and other forms of science. There are those who become enamored with artwork of different forms. Thanks to the songs passed down from generation to generation, they tend to have a fondness and appreciation for music, though that doesn't necessarily make them all great singers or musicians. Despite their inquisitive nature, most either need to be taught and reminded of personal space or conquer a shy social awkwardness. Anything in between tends to be rare.

~History~

--The Stumble--
Most Vandelin don't give much thought to what they are, believing themselves a mish-mash of various things. Those that do some digging though learn they are a species of their own right. Normally those in biology, history, or archeology will pursue those fields just to learn more about their kind, or stumble across something about it during their studies. Rare but not unheard of are the occasional family stories. They are all orally passed down through song though, and involve such whimsy as magic and pixies and the likes, so they're usually taken about as seriously as any other fable or fairy tail.

--The Songs--
A number of the songs contradict each other, discrediting them that much more. There exist a few consistencies though, further strengthened when Vandelin from different families compare notes.
-The Vandelin come from a lush valley isolated from the rest of the world.
-The valley was surrounded by mountains tall enough to be capped by snow year round.
-A network of streams ran through the valley, and pooled into a large lake near the center.
-The streams are said to carry thick threads of magic within its currents that they were able to make full use of (consistency does not necessarily establish truth).
-Travel outside of the valley was rare because the further a Vandelin traveled or the longer they were away, the less they could use their magic, and their magic was the only way to return to the valley (once more: consistency /= truth).
-There seems to be no agreement to why they are no longer in the valley, or if any were left behind. They seem to run the gambit from a heartbreaking battle that couldn't be won to simple wanderlust and those who wait for their return to the valley despite the tragedy that the travelers no longer have the magic needed.
-Thus far, there is no archeological or biological evidence to support or refute the existence of the valley or the history of the Vandelin.

~Etc~

-They are omnivores.
-Though never named in song, the valley has come to be known as Vandeli, at times Vandeli Valley, or the Valley of Vandeli.
-In a fantasy setting it might be noticed that Vandeli have magic channels but a very restricted and minimal pool. With the help of items to act as a battery or storage of sorts, a Vandelin could prove to be a decent magicker, but will never live up to their full potential unless the valley is found.
-In modern, or more true to life settings, the valley might be deserted and dried up, most likely the victim of drought that it never recovered from.
-They have exceptional might vision, though it's not unheard of for them to be nearsided. Their hearing is decent, and their sense of smell is above average.


And this is what I've got for now. Just something developing in my own mind- mostly for those who have trouble coming up with stuff of their own.

I Hate being so perfectionist...eee....

Tech Flesh is due in Tomorrow, and now Spirit decides to get all sciencey on me. Now I come to find that there are certain technologies already in existence that the story completely ignores. So now what I thought were just a couple of wrinkles are actually huge "omfg" gorges.

v.v

I don't think I'll be touching cyberpunk again for a good long time once this baby's released into the world. My head wants to explode. But this is due tomorrow. So instead of giving in to the desire of letting blood and brain matter splatter all over the monitor and keyboard so I'll have a great excuse to push this off for another day, I have to fight the burning desire to table flip and instead try to tackle this one paragraph at a time, potentially rewriting a good chunk of it just because I can't bring myself to suspend disbelief long enough to blatantly ignore the form of technology this Should be based off of since it already freakin' exists.

Yep.

Writing is without a doubt a form of sado-masochism. At least when you're a perfectionist.

Self editing sucks balls x.x I'm working out the wrinkles that I was too frazzled to notice when I sent it out for confirmation. I'd just have my mate look at it, but I think he's still recovering from the crazies I went through just expanding the damn thing.

All I need is someone I can trust to let me know if internal or external dialogue might be better for the flow of story in one single yet crucial part. That, and maybe point out any glaring screw-ups I haven't gotten around to fixing yet. I'm NOT looking for supporters or brown nosers for this (a difference exists, I know), nor am I looking for a full break down or analysis or a list of a million and one ways it could be better.

I just want to finally be able to release this baby into the world with some semblance of confidence, and though I've managed to fight my perfectionism on many things with this story, I CAN'T LET THIS PART GO x.x It's threatening to drive me insane all over again, and the final draft is due the 15th.

So, anyone willing to help me out?

Tech Flesh has officially been accepted for the Rainfurrest Anthology! Squee!!! Now I just need to clean it up and round up a couple of beta readers to make sure it's all smoothed out.

Admittedly, I'm so beyond burnt out on writing after all that stress x.x I'm going to try to get back into it slowly though. Spirit even suggested I take a writing class at some point this year; could be what I need to get back on track! It felt like a total trip into sado-masochism extending Tech Flesh x.x But it was so worth it getting that acceptance email!

I've also had to finally admit, I suck at working commissions v.v It's like trying to fit into a custom-made cat suit, made for someone not you. I still want to try to chip away at everything I've taken in, but if anyone doesn't want to wait, please just let me know. We'll figure something out.

That's about it on the writing end for now. Until next time, be happy, damn it! >:D

I poured everything I could into Tech Flesh, and it's STILL 1100 words short. I'm caught between stone-cold determination, tears, and table-flipping. I just... I don't know how else to add to it without making it seem bloated or putting in a pointless throw-away scene that will just detract from it. My first Real shot at getting a story published, and I'm seriously thinking about making it one of my last *headdesks, over and over and over again*

Sorry, just... I don't even know.

Okay, a small update!

I've been struggling with a really nasty case of writer's block (aka Once upon a time- ooo shiny!). Tomorrow I'm going to knock things out on my Nitetigrezz account so I can set it on a tall shelf until the beginning of April. Sunday will begin my big push to get stuff done on my writing. I'm going to set my laptop on my desk, get Pandora rolling, and write for two hour blocks with a half hour break in between to stretch my legs and keep from writer's burn out. My main focus is going to be stories for the anthology, though I'll be working through owed work for those multiple ADD moments.

Because of this, I need people to note me who I still owe stuff to, with details that might be important or you want changed (i know some of you have been waiting quite some time >.<)! Please specify if it's a request or a commission (I will be putting more weight on commissioners since they paid money, but that doesn't mean I don't care about requests too!).

Please do this as notes, not replies. There's no way I'll be able to finish all of them this Sunday, but this will allow me to start chipping away at the list by finding things that appeal to me no matter what head space I'm in.

If I can finish the Abc's I have lined up, I'll open up three or four more letters :3

As many in this fandom know, those who tend toward multiple characters generally use them to better encompass the different facets of their personality. While the reason these different facets can't be fully wrapped up in one neat little package differs from person to person, generally one of the more accepted reasons is because by splitting up the different aspects, we are allowed a more simplified way to better analyze these different angles of our personalities by using the animalistic personifications to better relate to each quirk. At times, it also allows us to keep an ideal face for the world by pouring an exaggeration of all our good qualities into one body, while keeping our less than savory qualities either fully hidden, or in the background with a flawed, lesser known character. In many cases, these flaws aspects are personified as our main persona's other half, giving a 'two sides of the same coin' aspect. Again, the reasons for this differ from person to person, but the generally accepted idea is that it is far easier to praise these 'negative' qualities by having them act as a persona's protector, or what the persona can turn into in order to deter bad things from happening to them, be it on a physical, mental, or emotional level; it's generally preferred over attempting to accept that these qualities are indeed just as much mixed and mingled and apart of us as any other quality.

I myself am shamelessly guilty of this, even as I had attempted for so long to draw all characteristics and quirks into one body. While these days Munchkin is Me for the fandom, I still find other qualities preferring to remain right where they are rather than be drawn into the singular form. This is not a bad thing, as I've had to learn to accept. It just is what it is.

The Journals titled 'Character Facets' will be my attempt to analyze each of my major - and at times not so major - personas in an attempt to either share or learn more about myself. It should prove to be an interesting experiment, and I hope you'll join me for the ride.

So I've already had a couple of comments and a few notes from people interested in ABCs of SEX but wanting a different letter than A B or C. I decided to open the whole alphabet, and I'll tackle them as I can. I also have tomorrow off, so I'll be pounding them out tomorrow whenever I need a break from the stories for the anthologies (which tends to be often- yay ADD writer >.<).

For those who don't know, here's the skinny:

I'm offering short stories at a reduced price to use as warm-ups. Here are the price options and what you'll get:

$3 - 500 words / + $5 to make it 1000 words in the future (saving you $2/$2)
$5 - 800 words / + $2 to make it 1000 words in the future (saving you $3/$3)
$7 - 1000 words / + $3 to make it 1500 words in the future (saving you $3/$5)

The catch? They have to be fetish-related in some way, shape or form. I'll be tackling the whole alphabet, but if something really strikes my fancy I might take two or three of the same letter once the majority of the alphabet is filled. Sooner if I get Really inspired, so if a letter's already taken, please feel free to still make a shout-out for it!

Extensions can be reserved now or paid for at a later date. Just know that I won't be doing the extensions until my plate's a bit more clear.

If interested, please reply below with how many words you want and the name of the chosen fetish. Thank you! Feel free to get creative with these! I'm starvin' for it!

A is for - (possibly reserved?)
B is for - Blindfold leetmonkey33 3E
C is for - Corset leetmonkey33 3E
D is for -
E is for -
F is for -
G is for -
H is for - Hooker Calientra 3E
I is for -
J is for -
K is for -
l is for -
M is for -
N is for -
O is for -
P is for - Pool leetmonkey33 3E
Q is for -
R is for -
S is for - Spanking vir 3E
T is for -
U is for -
V is for - Virgin Valentine leetmonkey33 3E
W is for -
X is for -
Y is for -
Z is for -

*1 is the first package, 2 is the second package, 3 is the third package, S is short story, E is extended story.

Alright, I'm having some problems with a character I've had for the past five years or so. It's one of those cases where I had made her on the spot based upon a vague character that I had never really developed. Because of this, I had her personality and such more or less set, but never really dove into her history except in vague ways. So a lot of things were based upon influences of those I was around at the time and how to meet Their needs, instead of being respectful to the character and letting them evolve and building a solid history.

So here comes the crazy jargon that a few writers might get. I still feel this character very strongly within me, especially with those personality quirks that are unique to her. But there are also big things that are very much her that aren't right. Very big things. For example, I thought she had been born a dragoness who later in life acquired the ability to take human form. However that doesn't feel right. I can't imagine her as a young rambunctious dragoness. I can't even imagine her as never having been able to take human form. On top of all that, I came to realize how two-dimensional I had kept her, as if I never bothered to look at any other side of her because that particular side was all I needed at the time. It feels like I have to completely rediscover her.

The only problem is, I'm not even sure where to start x.x History, family, any of it, it's like I have to start from the ground up but I don't even know what the foundations are made of. Spirit suggested something that might work, but I'm gonna have to feel it out >.<

Gah, yeah, just a character ran xp Don't mind me.

This should be interesting >.>

I'll keep things simple. Here's the breakdown:

I'm offering short stories at a reduced price to use as warm-ups. Here are the price options and what you'll get:

$3 - 500 words / + $5 to make it 1000 words in the future (saving you $2/$2)
$5 - 800 words / + $2 to make it 1000 words in the future (saving you $3/$3)
$7 - 1000 words / + $3 to make it 1500 words in the future (saving you $3/$5)

The catch? They have to be fetish-related in some way, shape or form. And for this round, the fetish has to start with the letters A, B, or C.

If this goes okay, I'll open up the whole alphabet :3 But for now, to see if I can even do it, I'm starting with the basics!

If interested, please reply below with how many words you want and the name of the chosen fetish. Thank you!

A is for -
B is for -
C is for -

I've been struggling with my stories for the anthology lately, so in an attempt to get the juices flowing I'm offering a different sort of wing-it!

Give me a character or three, a picture or a few words of what you want, and five dollars. I'll take it, put it in a blender, and pop out 500 or more words of a slice of sensual healing. If I'm really feeling the groove, you could wind up with far more than 500 words, but at the very least the 500 is guaranteed. Could range anywhere from a complete story to a slice of a scene.

The option to expand on it for a small additional reduced fee will be offered as I feel comfortable with. Depending on interest, might turn this into an iron artist with a mass offer given to expand once my plate is more cleared.

Standard ToS applies, however I will perform any major edits needed on my own time since these are meant to be warm-ups.

Please reply below with the information required if interested. Not first come first serve.

If anyone replies with something I can run with in the next three hours I'll add an extra 500 words, guaranteed, for $2!

Thank you :3

It's finally up! Join in on the ladder auction, and you could win not just an amazing picture by the very talented alishka, but also a story by yours truly! And it will feature the one, the only, often imitated but never duplicated Nite!!! It can be sweet and intimate or wild and kinky, all up to the winner*!

Bidding starts at $20 and will end Feb. 8th, 11:59pm EST.

So join the auction today!

CLICK ME!!!
CLICK ME!!!
CLICK ME!!!
CLICK ME!!!
CLICK ME!!!
You know you want to!
So go ahead!
Promise you'll like it!

*Within reason xp Be sure to read our ToS's xp

Just a head's up, I'm trying to keep updates appropriate for each account on said accounts, which means only Writing/Story updates will be on this account. For updates about Nite/Artwork, please go to nitetigrezz and for updates of adopts and give-aways please go to ~al. Finally, for personal updates please check out ~munchkin~. I know, I'm a butt for spreading things out over multiple accounts, but this way people will only have to read what they'd be interested in xp If you guys really don't like that, just let me know and I'll throw all my updates on one account or another.

ZOMGSOMUCHGOINGONFORTHISTOPICYOUDONTEVENKNOW X.X I know it seems like most days I don't do squat for my writing, and recently I admit, that's been the case. But I dub this year the Year of the Pen! So expect that to change, even if I can't exactly upload much of what I'm writing. Here's why!

~~~~~

Alright, for those who didn't know, I'm working toward entering a story into the anthology for Rainfurrest 2014. Click HERE for details! I'm working on Tech Flesh, which was initially submitted for the contest they were running (we had about 22-24 hours, give or take, to complete it). I need to flesh it out more and clean up some areas I wasn't too happy with, as well as double the word count. I also want to run it through a couple of beta readers I wasn't able to contact in time originally and go from there.

I have also been groping around for story ideas that could be entered into their G-PG anthology since Tech Flesh is definitely going to be R-rated. There are two other story ideas I want to entertain and see if they might be good candidates. One of them I already know I'm going to have some trouble executing because I need to decide which direction I want to go in. One direction would make it a tragic love story of sacrifice, decayed hope, and selfless greed (trust me, if I go that route you'll see what I mean) while the other would be softer and less tragic and far more hopeful, though still a bit more difficult to keep under PG13.

The other story I'm really excited about, but again decisions are going to have to be made on how strongly I want the message to come across vs the rating I want to go for. The basic message can still be maintained, but to a far lesser degree. It's... kinda really infuriating, and the first time I've had to deal with this problem x.x So yeah, have a lot of figuring out to do. If I can get the time set aside, I think I'm going to want to write out all versions and run them through my beta readers. Get some opinions on which versions/stories might have the best chance.

~~~~~

On top of all that, I'm also participating in an anthology that's going to (hopefully!) be used to raise money for Feed America (or some other charity along those lines) in time for the holidays of 2014! The one doing all the heavy work (so to speak) is sasuke and yes, the anthology is fat-fur themed, PG-13 rated. It's for an amazing cause, and I have my story planned as an outsider's pov. I'm kidna sweating over it because I haven't even touched it yet and I still have to do some homework on the subject x.x But! I'm determined to get it done BEFORE April, which looks like that's the target area to have them turned in.

If anyone's at all interested at contributing for a super-great cause, be it as a fatfur or from an outsider's point of view, please check this out: http://cawdordesigns.com/write/stor.....tfur-anthology

Thank you!!!!

~~~~~

As if all of this isn't enough! Copy/pasting from my ~al account because this is indeed a cross-over!
I also have a question. So I was toying with one particularly creep-inspiring dollmaker when a whole story began to form from it. It was actually good enough to give even me the creeps while I was trying to hammer out some of the details within my own mind. The thing is, I'm kinda thinking of working with an artist to make them official adopts as I write out the story, leaving a bit of a mad-lib/template sort of flexibility for plans. Plans meaning, auctioning off the story and the characters and the characters, including letting the winner have their own fursona as the main character. Would anyone be interested in this? If I can't do it as a whole package, would anyone be interested in bidding on the separate characters/parts to the story? I know it's hard to say when I can't really show anything for it at this very moment, but it will without a doubt be in the horror/thriller genre, and the winner can decide the fate of the main character at the very end :3 This probably won't be done for awhile. I have some projects that will be expiring soon (reasons will be found in my nitescratches account) and I don't know if I'll have the same motivation by the time I have actual time for it. If enough interest is shown though, I'll put an actual effort into making notes whenever inspiration strikes and expanding on some of the characters and setting so not so much disbelief needs to be suspended xp

(Of course, as you can see from the projects listed above, it's gonna be a bit before I get to this x.x But I do want to actually get it going. Hopefully I'll be running on the high of accomplishment from the anthologies and can use it to my fullest advantage. If it's successful, I might even run with the other ideas floating around in the back of my mind I have based off of dollmakers.)

~~~~~

Yes, I know I still have a whole mountain of commissions/requests leering down at me x.x I haven't forgotten, promise. I really want to make this my year for focusing on my writing though. With some of the ideas I'm going to need to brainstorm a bit since the ideas are kinda vague and I'm at a stuck point, Others I just need to get my arse back into gear. Thank you everyone for all your patience (you have no idea how much love I have for you in that) and inspiration granting I'm going to try to add a higher word count than originally agreed upon just as a huge fat THANK YOU. Because you guys are awesome like that.

~~~~~

And yes, I still need to clean up and update my page on here x.x And migrate all my other stories and poems. So much to do still x.x

Thanks again for all your patience everyone, and to the few who still actually comment XD I really do appreciate them, even if I'm not the best at replying back.

'ello 2014! My New Year's Resolution for this account will be to actually get through my commission list >.> After finishing up the three stories I have lined up for anthologies :3 That's right! By this time next year I'm hoping to officially be a published writer! I'm also going to try tackling NaNoWriMo again, this time sans neck injury >.>

What are your resolutions?

Copy/paste, ftw!

Personal account. I finally made it. Yep.  ~munchkin~ Nothing new is there yet, so don't get too excited xp

I've been talking a lot with Spirit and some close friends lately about this account. The talk with Spirit, as casual as it was, kinda sealed the deal. Leave it to the wolf to know me better than I know me. As much as I've been trying to keep that wall up between Nite and me... I dunno. It's like, the entire time I had her, I had tried so hard to make her apart of me, reached so far, struggled just to grasp her as my fursona. Yet no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't quite reach her. She always felt so different, which frustrated me. Then there came the Munch, and finally I felt like I found my true fursona. My representation for the furry fandom. And even now she's still being better perfected to better fit me.

Yet something Spirit said really struck me. She might have just been a shell for me when I was still trying to find myself, but she was still mine. She was still the face I wore and the name I used when I had no face, when I had no name. She filled in the void, the null space. In a way, maybe part of the reason why I could never reach out to her is because she was already with me. Maybe she was already filling the void the best it could be filled for someone who didn't know who they were or what they wanted in life. Maybe I had lost her to the void, and that was why I never felt her as a touchstone.

Maybe this is just the ramblings of a crazy writer. I dunno. But I'm starting to think that instead of just dismissing her and this account as a whole as just a separate entity, maybe I should rethink my plans. I'm starting to toy with the idea of just keeping this account as my art account, and keeping Nite as my mascot of sorts. That way I can keep her as apart of me, while still staying true to my true fursona. My personal account can just hold personal updates, personal favorites of my commissions (meaning it'll probably be constantly changing xp), and perhaps ref sheets so I can find them more easily.

I dunno. We'll see what the future brings. Either way, personal account, go! Personal updates will definitely be in there from now on.

Yeah, copy/pasted from my nitetigrezz account xp
For those who don't know what Nite looks like, just paroose that account past the first or second page in the gallery. From there it's nothing but Nite XD
Or if you're too lazy, here are some examples of the different ways she's been done through the years:
1 2 3 4 5

~~~~~

I'm just sending out feelers to see if anyone would be interested in either artsing or bidding on an auction having to do with my dear Nitetigrezz. Almost a YCH except the winner gets full say, though of course the Artist's limits will be taken into consideration xp I already have one amazing artist lined up for this, but I'm thinking of doing this as a set of three. Three pictures, three different art styles, three different artists, and possible three different ratings. Depending on how high the bidding goes, I'll also throw in a commission-quailty story that has a length appropriate to the amount of the bidding.

If things go the way I hope, the three ratings will more or less be First Base, Second Base, Third Base/Home. So from sweet and innocent, to suggestive, to full blown action >.> Now if an artist gets involved who has certain limitations against certain bases, I'll respect that and make it clear in the description for the bidding. Otherwise, the first auction winner will get first choice, second auction winner will get second choice, and third auction winner will get what's left. The auctions will be held separately; I guess you could say it's my way of awarding my loyal watchers XD

So, anyone interested? Any questions? Comments? Torches and Pitchforks?

As for those freebies I promised, have two last elementals that still need homes in my Adopt account:
Earth Mother
Fire Sprite

So you know in the song "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" when they say "There'll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of Christmasses long long ago"? Well, this one may not have the glory but it definitely has at least a bit of the scary part!

It still needs a little work, but I hope you all enjoy Loss of Innocence :3

http://munchkin.liveblog.com

If it winds up being popular enough, I'll write a sequel :3

Since I'm picking up a load of ot tomorrow (a personal Christmas gift since it'll be an easy 12 hour shift with time and a half :3), I figured I'd say this now.

I hope each and every one of you have a very happy holidays and manage to find some form of joy this season, be it before, during, or after the holidays.

As for me, the greatest gift of all isn't coming for another sixteen days. Can't wait to see my wolf again!

It's almost sad that I listened to the song "Let It Go" from Frozen for the first time ever this morning, and then peeked out my window to see, yep, snow! Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn it, I wanted to go to game night v.v Looks like I might have to postpone it... again x.x Either way, freakin' adore this song. Not sure how I'll feel about the movie, but this song is my new official favorite from Disney, hands down.

So Let it Go as you Let it Snow! Anyone else enjoying a winter wonderland? A frozen abyss? A sloggy slushfest?

Gooberz by Linda Goodman = Medicine for the Heart and Soul

My spirit is a million miles away, leaving my heart alone and aching with an emptiness that no other soul could fill. Like a square hole in an existence of nothing but round pegs I wait, choking down my sobs, holding back my tears, because I know my other half is out there and will join with me once more, if I can just wait, and be still. After all, it wasn't lies that were shared in these wise words, "Why should I grieve? My dreams are made of sterner stuff and Spring will be here soon enough..."

Okay, I can't keep ahold of this poetic prosic stance anymore. I'm balling like a baby over here. All night I had been feeling off and reflective. I had been doing well today and went to posting more adopts on my other account, only to find that one of my major sources of joy this December might be illegal. I'm taking proper actions to try to gain permission, but it put me in an even worse slump.

So I started working on my old DA account. I was about to post a journal about why my profile picture, of my munchkin cat, and my avatar picture, of my nitetigrezz, are two different characters, and I was going to put for the title of the journal "My words don't always rhyme...." Those words have stuck with me throughout several years, long after I had first read them. They were part of a poetic disclaimer in a book my brother had given to me for Christmas one year when he was still on his own spiritual quest. I couldn't remember the quote word for word, so I decided to look it up, armed with nothing other than the name of the book.

I managed to not only find the author, but an oooold forum where people had posted some of their favorite quotes from her books. A solid number of those quotes came straight from Gooberz. It's so easy to remember, to feel the rhythm and rhymes that were woven all through that book. And I've been crying ever since, even now sneaking peeks at more quotes between these paragraphs. I don't fully understand it, except that maybe I understand what I once read so long ago that much more, now that I've found my Goober. For every tear of need I shed, there are that many more tears of joy and happiness for knowing his love.

I need to find that book again. I used to pick it up anytime I felt the need, whether it was just the realization that I hadn't read it in a long time or because of an emptiness inside. I would read until I no longer felt the urge or interest, then stick my bookmark in where I stopped reading, and put it down again. Sometimes I would backtrack, especially if I knew what I felt I needed, but more often than not, I would get exactly the words I needed just by picking up where I left off. I never finished the book. Maybe... maybe I wasn't ready to. Maybe it HAD to wait until later on in my life. But now, now that I have found my spirit, now I have someone I can share this with, maybe now it's time that we enjoy it together. Yes, it's based in astrology and we're not big on it beyond amusement purposes, but the book is about so, so much more, like life and love and heartbreak and forgiveness, and loving someone even if their skin turned green and their eyes and mouth switched places.

If you ever get the chance to pick it up, please don't be intimidated by its size. Yes, it's a big book and the first canto or so can be hard to get into, but trust me, it's worth the buy. If I could, I'd by hundreds of copies just to give them out on the streets and send them to all my friends and family. It really is medicine for the soul.

And to my Spirit, my love, my one, this is for you:
last night you whispered

"darling, I knew why you cried before you told me
in the same way that I tremble inside before you hold me"

"oh, yes, it's true!" I whispered back
"I tremble inside before you hold me too
and I always know you will ... just before you do
it's like being one beat ahead of the pulse of the Universe
now that we've learnt that a Little Prince can love one rose --- and mountains can truly fly!"

"... and that druids are real people who can laugh and cry
and we have a whole shining lifetime together
to teach each other why
the miracle of Us ... is not easily defined
because, all we really know..."

"...is that it was planned many eons ago..."

"yes...before you were born, I was yours
and before I was born ... you were mine"


Or, to sum it all up into a nice and neat little package, slightly modified since we're talking present tense:
we love
and the closest we've come to explaining why
is because it is you
and because it is I

I love you my spirit, my heart, my other half. I hope someday we can share Gooberz together.