Anybody else ever find their submissions cleared despite having not hit nuke? I don't recall nuking my submissions because I would have had to hit the pop-up for it. I suppose it's possible that I did it while groggy, but I have zero recollection of doing it. And it would have had to happen today.

Goodness that was a worrisome time! Due to an issue with the email I used way back when to set up FA I was stuck out. Still huge props to Dragoneer and the staff for helping people like me get back to our accounts. And of course my dumb ass made sure to update things so this problem shouldn't arise again, hopefully.

On a more positive note I'm coming up on my ten year anniversary here on FA!

Yep, it's my birthday again! For the first time in a while I'll be spending the actual day with friends as opposed to studying for finals or having to wait several days for the weekend to see people. That being said, I'm basically gone until Sunday to have fun with people.

The poor kitty showed up a little over an hour ago. He seems to be doing okay, much to our surprise. We are keeping a close eye on him, but he isn't displaying any signs of pain or discomfort. Still he will likely be seeing a vet very soon. Just wanted to let people know he's home.

About 10 minutes ago a car struck our male cat Leo. Mom and dad saw it happen and dad screaming woke me up. The person driving did not stop or even slow down. Leo has been living here over a year and while I didn't like him at first I started to over the past few months. I've occasionally worried something might happen, but that fear was buried with time. For now we don't know where he is, after being hit he took off into the woods across the street, running away when dad tried to find him. We know he visits other families so our hope is that if he does they notice a problem with him.

RULES :
1. Pick one of your Fursona's.
2. Fill in the questions/statements as if you were your Fursona.
3. Tag at least four people to do this meme!
4. Tell people that they been tagged with a link from your journal

1. What is your name?
Nocturne Velain

2. Do you know why you were named that?
It's a beautiful style of music.

3. Single or taken?
Taken, happily.

4. Have any abilities or powers?
Besides being relatively strong for my size, not really. Unless you count the spontaneous addition or subtraction of certain limbs, based on present company's preference.

5. Stop being a Mary Sue!
Still not as bad as anything that came up in high school...

6. What's your eye color?
Green for both

7. How about hair color?
Black!

8. Have you got any family members?
Immediate would just be my parents.

9. Oh? How about pets?
Two cats, Leo and Lucy.

10. That's cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don't like.
Having a nap disturbed. It takes a lot for me to fall asleep, so when I'm woken up it aggravates the hell out of me.

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?
I enjoy playing video games a lot, but I read when the mood strikes me and write...very infrequently.

12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?
I think everybody has, but yes, I have.

13. Ever… killed anyone before?
No, I don't have the stomach for it.

14. What kind of animal are you?
Ramsky! Ram-husky hybrid, think a big, fluffy dog with horns.

15. Name your worst habits.
I frequently stay awake well past when I should. If something even remotely entertains me I'll stay up for...hours.

16. Do you look up to anyone at all?
There are a handful.

17. Are you gay, straight, or bisexual?
Gay

18. Do you go to school?
I graduated a few years ago.

19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?
Marry, yes. Kids...that is really something that I need to think long and hard about.

20. Do you have fangirls/fanboys?
I honestly have no idea, but if I do, they haven't sent me any body parts in boxes.

21. What are you most afraid of?
Being a burden to those I love.

22. What do you usually wear?
Lots of t-shirts, along with jeans. I refuse to wear sweatpants outside of the house.

23. What's one food that tempts you?
I'm really easy to bribe with a good cheeseburger.

24. Am I annoying you?
Takes more than this to bother me.

25. Well, it's still not over!
Come on then, don't have all day.

26. What class are you (low class, middle class, high class)?
Lower-middle class with a lot of financial issues...

27. How many friends do you have?
The ones I consider that are some of the most important people in my life.

28. What are your thoughts on pie?
Really only pumpkin...at Thanksgiving. Other than that I'm not a fan.

30. Favorite drink?
I'd have to say orange soda, but I'm trying to cut back on the sugary drinks.

31. What's your favorite place?
As corny as it is, my room. I find myself very calm once I'm in my own area and able to relax.

32. Are you interested in anyone~?
Yes, my boyfriend.

33. That was a stupid question.
Just a bit.

34. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?
Probably a lake, less chance of sharks...

35. What's your type?
I enjoy guys I can have a conversation with, it doesn't have to be some big philosophical debate, but I need somebody I can talk to.

36. Any fetishes?
If my page is any indication, size is a -big- thing...

37. Seme or uke?
Seme, most definitely.

38. Camping or indoors?
Indoors! Mosquitoes love me...but I don't love them.

39. Tag people!
Ugh, I do apologize to  atlas21 and  Pyrohawk

Oddly enough things as of late have been kind of stagnant. Not much has happened as of late. Couldn't work on driving practice very much due to the god awful weather.

Thankfully the weather will be clearing up and the biggest thing in the future is getting my license and then getting a job. I want to have some kind of employment by the beginning to summer to beat the deluge of high school students that will dilute the job pool...for inexperienced people. With that I'll be able to contribute to the household while mom finds work.

Only nice change is thanks to my good buddy  zerowhitefang ! This kind motherfucker was generous enough to give me his iPhone 5 when he upgraded to the 6. He knew I've had my 3S for several years now and it's getting to the point of being too sluggish to really be useful. As soon as I can get to an AT&T store I'll be swapping the SIM cards.

In the future I may begin my writing again, but that's entirely dependent on my muse striking me.

-Nocturne

Sadly since Monday I've had what appears to be a cold whipping my ass. Between constant coughing and a running nose I've been pretty wretched. My body has been cycling through chills and sweating. Sadly last night I went to bed at 100 degrees, but woke up spiking to 102.3 so off to the doctor to make sure it's just a cold. I'll be honest, I've never had a cold be this rough. Wish me luck.

It's been far too long since I've really said anything for a journal. Well, this Christmas was a pretty light year, nothing much in the way of gifts, but that's just the unfortunate reality of nobody in the family having a steady job. My big hope for the New Year is a job interview my mom went on pulling through. If it works out we'll be financially secure for a good while until I get a job.

The holiday itself was pretty fast, only saw both sides of the family briefly. There's a lot going on for everybody and once we say a few words it seems like we scatter until the next holiday. I get it's just how things have become, everybody has their own thing going on, but it did leave me feeling a bit sad. Still I feel like this year's holiday season has gone quite well overall. I didn't need much as it was and I'm fine with that.

So to all I wish a Merry Christmas while it still is here.

Nearly a week of little more than toast, applesauce, bananas, and water. This fucking stomach virus is a WORK OF ART. With any luck I'll be able to handle other foods in the next days.

Other than that things are going well and this is mostly a minor journal update. Most of my summer plans have unfortunately been deterred due to some rather unpleasant circumstances. Driving lessons have been almost halted due to familial issues, which sadly pushes off chances at a job. With luck I'll have my license by August, knock on wood.

August also marks the fifth anniversary with my boyfriend  Atlas21. It's been 5 wonderful years and I consider myself very lucky.

I do hope all those who read this find themselves well.

-Nocturne

My buddy  renarddefleureax is starting up an awesome not-so-little series starring his character growing up in a big way. If you like muscle and some good laughs definitely check it out.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12798365/

Each chapter will be accompanied by a wonderful drawing done by the very talented  rehgan!

And as a small note, both of these guys are open for commissions! If you want to get yourself some excellently drawn art or a beautifully written story look no further!

In other news, those that know me know that I'm a huge WoW nerd. To that extent, last night my guild managed to down Heroic Garrosh Hellscream 25 solidifying us as a Top US 100 guild for 25-man raiding! After months of working our asses off we can say we've taken down the hardest content this tier had to offer and will continue to work on getting all our raiders their mounts. Even after some difficulties in last 2013 we pulled together and have shown our best!

Finally keep an eye peeled because in the near future you guys may be seeing a new piece of writing from me. This bit of scribbling may not be entirely furry in nature, but this is probably the best place where I can post what I've been working over in my head for several months now. This fantasy will include a lot of horror-genre themes to let me get out my darkest, most twisted writing. Follow along as I plumb the depths of how far we can tread the line of sanity until a toe goes over it!

And to all a good night!

Seriously, I haven't posted a new journal in aaaaages. I really should make a decent one and let people know how I'm doing...right after Christmas.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5092857/

 Rehgan is doing a fun lil raffle. People should get in on this...or else.

"Or else" is a trademark. Misuse of the trademark may result in HORRIBLE CONSEQUENCES.

So yeah, I turned 23 on the 1st of May! More importantly on Monday I got my wisdom teeth pulled. I now look somewhat like a chipmunk from how swollen my cheeks have become. I'm hoping by tomorrow I can comfortably open and close my mouth.

My brother and another friend of mine are working on collaborative commissions!

These commissions are pretty cheap for some great work, I'd suggest looking into it for anybody wishing to get a nice piece of art done for a very reasonable price! For all info, see this journal!

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4321885/

Time to bunker my ass down and pray we don't lose power for too long...

You a Sentai fan? Well have a chance to star as one of the 35 Sentai of the past! http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3934998/

Yeeeeep, it's my birthday....and that means it's time for finals too! Still, I graduate on Saturday, so that's cool, right?

After doing a lot of smooth talking and working with my professors I've managed to swing it so I can start my Spring Break 3 days early! In order to do this, I have to take a midterm tomorrow afternoon, which I'm not really prepared for, but...getting there. I only made this journal to take a quick break from writing up another midterm that's due in...about 2 hours. Time to finish that out and take a nap. :D

I'm back, doing much better. I'm going to be taking a drug for the time being to see if I can even myself out a bit more. I'll explain more when I'm not getting back into the swing of things.

And on this night I shed a tear, for every passing moment I spent with you.
The group of people who made me feel important, who made me feel like I mattered when I felt worthless. To the people that pick me up when I'm down. To those who brought light into my life when it was dark. All the smiles and all the joy I felt will be with me forever. I can never replace those I lose, but I will cherish all the time I had with them. To the friends in my life and the friends who are no longer with me in these days, I love you all and you mean the world to me.

Im really just not in a good place right now. I may have to gO home for a few days to figure out where my head is.

Some people know this all too well, like my boyfriend or my local friends, especially  zerowhitefang (Bless you for putting up with me) , I am not right in the head. To be more specific, the therapist I've been seeing for the past ~2 years is pretty certain that I'm bipolar. This isn't a surprise to me, I have a family history of it. I'm more than willing to admit that even if it isn't, I'm still not an emotionally stable person. I'm easily overwhelmed with small things, I have major depressive episodes, and numerous other little issues. I am entirely aware I have a problem, hence my seeing a therapist to work on it.

That all being said, I think I'm getting worse. While I was at home, I was the most stable I've been for a LONG time. Since I have come back to school, I've been plagued by depressive episodes weekly, I even had a small breakdown on the first week. The problems that caused the breakdown has since been taken care of. I used to get by with a weekly meeting with my therapist, but this semester I've been seeing her usually twice a week, sometimes 3 if I'm doing especially bad. While I'd like to blame all of it on being at this school, believe me when I say nothing would make me happier than to say it's this school, I have to accept that I may just be getting worse on my own.

My work load is substantially less difficult than it was last semester, even I'm aware of that. I'm in a stable relationship with the love of my life. Hell, my mother won the lottery right before I came back to school and we'll be receiving a chunk of money soon that we can really use. Despite all this good news, I still find myself sinking into these episodes where I feel everything is bleak and hopeless. Other times, I run high and tight, burning with energy until I eventually crash.

With all this in mind, I would like to say this journal's intent is NOT meant as a cry for attention or as an excuse for my actions as of late. My intent is to explain to the people that my behavior effects that I am sorry for how I act. I feel guilty for when I bring others down, or seem as though I'm ignoring their feelings because I'm depressed. I care very much for my friends and I never want to harm the relationships I've formed with that. I've thought about this a lot and I've decided that I may need to begin taking some form of medication to help deal with my emotional trouble. I have tried for a long time to avoid this, mostly out of fear of side effects. However, I can no longer sit by and allow myself to get worse and if I have to turn to medication to get better, than so be it. I would like to hope that I will not need to take anything, but if I do not improve or at least stabilize, it may be necessary.

Thank you to those who read that wall of text. I do not TL;DR things when I'm being serious.

-Nocturne

I'm spending it reformatting my computer, which I'm finished...now I'm just working on putting some programs back on. I lost a few things, but nothing irreplaceable. I'm mostly just annoyed. For the record, beware the site Mangafox.com, that's where I got the virus that I had to reformat to get rid of.

After this, headed over to hang with my favorite big, blue dragon  zerowhitefang to count down to the new year. See you in 2012!

Obligatory hOliday journal. Wooooooo :P