I'm pretty sure I'm alive right now. Thanks for the well wishes.

That's...all I got. Hope everyone is okay, but I will not be online...probably ever, after this. But suffice to say I am alright, just not in a position where I need to be interacting with people online. Which is why I left. I apologize for worrying anyone, but I wanted to make that clear.

The cast I had isn't needed anymore. I still have some issues with my right arm, but thankfully my break was clean so they just stopped trying to set it and jammed a rod in there.

Now my arm sets off metal detectors. Somehow this is amazing.

1. jess is not allowed to write journals for me anymore
2. fuck

Hey, this is Jess. I'm typing for Heather to let everyone know she's alright. Broke her arm about 2 weeks ago, it was really bad so she probably won't be on for a while. She sits around taking tons of painkillers and eating so many snacks she's gonna be so fat look at her cute little pudge~

Um um oh yeah, she also said to say she's considering going back to her anteater sona, probably because she slurps up snacks and soda like it's going out of style.

In conclusion, fatty fat fat snacks.

Even satellites hurtling towards earth.



Bring it on.

100 themes? What's that?

CARTOONS MAKE ME SO MAD.


*storms off the internet forever*

I'm switching fursonas for what will hopefully be the last time. I adore Noir. She's a cat and I love cats. She's black and white and I love black and white.

But...I've moved on. Noir was sort of a bitter, stoic representation of me. She was mute - I'm no longer mute - and she was basically everything I used to be - bitter, pessimistic, taking myself too seriously, and dull.

But after finding love, losing it, finding it again, learning to speak, and becoming more optimistic, I've opted for a different representation of myself.

Tl;dr: I'm a fucking Caracara now. Eventually I'll get art of her. Thanks for listening to me ramble. <3

 haggard is a dick.

Heather V: Do like raccoons?
Codibutt B: Yus. Imma make a raccoon character.
Heather V: So many characters.
Codibutt B: All the characters.
Heather V: Get on YIM.
Codibutt B: YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD
Codibutt B has logged out.
Heather V: Where did you go...?
Codibutt B has signed in.
Codibutt: I HOPE MOM GETS A DIVORCE FROM YOU
Codibutt B has logged out.
Heather V: ...
Codibutt B has signed in.
Codibutt B has logged out.
Codibutt B has signed in.
Heather V: Stop that.
Codibutt B has logged out.
Codibutt B has signed in.
Codibutt B: penis
Codibutt B has logged out.

Jess is doing okay. Turns out she had a cold, but with the HIV it made it hard to fight off and she got pretty sick. I'm sitting on my mom's laptop now in the hospital lobby, she's coming home tonight once the doctor moves his ass.

Hopefully I'll be online more because I have no intention of leaving the house with the temperature dropping. Blankets, heat, junk food, video games and Jess. I'm set for hibernation.

I don't want to be on FA much anymore. You can talk to me through YIM or AIM, but I'm not on much.


I may or may not come back. There's just a lot of personal things happening right now and I don't have the heart for poetry or interaction. I'm sorry, but I'll be sure to update you guys once in a while to let you know I'm alright.

I sent this list to a friend, they ended up faving most of it on yt, so let me know what you think of any/all of these.

Борис Апрель - Космос, прием!

Einstürzende Neubauten - Stella Maris

Bad Rabbits - Stick Up Kids

Gheorghe Zamfir - The Lonely Shepherd

AWOLNATION- Sail

Róisín Murphy - Pandora

Ana Tijoux - 1977 (this song was on Breaking Bad)

Don Omar - Danza Kuduro ft. Lucenzo

Sara Bareilles - King Of Anything

Toro Y Moi - Blessa

Cheyenne again, but this time with Jess.

Since Jess' family can't really afford medical expenses right now, she's staying with my family. My mother understands how much she means to me and at least wants her to be here, with me, and with a support system instead of the two of us alone in a tiny apartment. I finished moving everything over from the apartment about an hour ago, and the hospital will discharge her later tonight, hopefully.

I wouldn't say "everything is as it should be", but it is most definitely feeling more secure.

She lost a lot of weight recently. We're cancelling the trip we were planning within the next few months.

Sorry if I'm not on much...I'm not really feeling motivated right now.

It was pretty great. Jess woke me up around 5 am so we could watch the sunrise at a nearby park. We had a small breakfast and went back to bed until 10 am, thereabout. We went to my parent's house in Cheyenne and had a big family lunch, it was hilarious. My dad and mom kept talking about Jess and I getting married. :>

My dad got me a case of cigars, 5 packs of Lucky Strikes, and vintage Playboy magazines. He's the best. x3 My mom got me a Matryoshka doll set and inside the smallest one was a necklace. I hung out at my parent's place for a while, just looking over old photo albums and reminiscing.

Around...5-ish? We left for dinner in Denver. We went to this place http://www.restauranteur.com/yiayias/ and I had the Herb and Egg Noodles (with duck, sausage, and mushrooms. So good <3) while Jess decided to just get an appetizer and eat that as a meal (the servers were not impressed, but fuck them). she had Polenta and we split a dessert that definitely was the height of the evening, hot chocolate souffle. If anyone lives close enough to Denver to go there, I recommend that place. The servers are a little stuck up, but what else can you expect from Denver?

We went home, spent most of the night doing as couples do on holidays, and I woke up a few hours ago still in a slight stupor.

It was wonderful, overall. Peaceful, yet fun, and my parents and Jess got along well. I'm happy with how it went. Just one more year until I can legally do what I've been doing for years, though.

Thanks for the birthday wishes, everyone. I appreciate it and hope your birthdays will go well too. <3

And I'll be 20.

I'm going to be an astronaut when I grow up!

I've decided to take more incentives in writing. If you want a story, just note me. If we're buddies I'll probably just do it for free.

Offering poetry: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6338980/

And short stories: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6256523/

NSFW obviously okay, just no scat, diapers, or stuff that's hard to write like soul vore or something. If it's something not allowed on-site, send me a message anyway and I'll just send you the raw text in a note instead I suppose.

All of my proceeds are going here. A check on my bucket list, you could say.

So much writing.

Radiojargon

Add me if you like morbid discussion and me spacing out every few minutes.

Will strike through as I do them. Not an any order.


1. Baring Your Teeth
2. Forgetfulness
3. Ugly
4. Beautiful
5. Cigarettes
6. Alcohol
7. Rat
8. Spider
9. Pig
10. Last Words
11. Tiny Tigers
12. Fur
13. Ice
14. Sloth
15. Nibbles
16. Smog
17. That Last Moment Of A Fatally Wounded/Sick Person Before Dying
18. The Darkness Between Stars
19. The Old, Family-Less Lady From The Candy Store Around The Corner
20. People With Two Eye Colors
21. Pandas
22. Internet Killed the Video Star
23. Roots
24. Robots
25. Illiterate
26. Phone
27. Birthday
28. Painting With Blood
29. Noise
30. Silence
31. "Sick"
32. Kitten
33. Dog
34. Smoke
35. Fire
36. Nothingness
37. Buddha
38. Mouth
39. Eyes
40. Nosebleed
41. Sadism/sadist
42. Masochism/masochist
43. Cannibal
44. Taboo
45. Touch
46. Taste
47. Playing Pretend
48. Hide and Seek
49. Red Rover
50. Summer
51. Spring
52. Winter
53. Fall
54. The Past
55. The Present
56. The Future
57. Understatement
58. Speak
59. Pointless
60. Forever/Eternity
61. Teeth
62. Bite
63. Truth
64. Lie
65. Brother
66. Sister
67. Perfection
68. Flawed
69. HIV/AIDS
70. Putting On a Show
71. My Hero
72. I Don't Care
73. I Love You
74. My Fears
75. My Biggest Weakness
76. Dubstep
77. How best to annoy cats
78. That falling sensation you get sometimes when you're about to fall asleep
79. Radio
80. Sad songs when you're happy
82. Cigarette burns
83. Scars
84. Mass Effect
85. Marilyn Monroe
86. Apple of My Eye
87. Circumstances
88. Space
89. Classic
90. Modern
91. Technology
92. Lucky Strikes
93. Ideal Image
94. Sex
95. Orgasm
96. Foreplay/arousal
97. Those Little Things She Does
98. Playing card/s
99. Home Alone
100. Sangria Senorial

Pretty much accurate.




Abrasive

You are accustomed to rubbing people the wrong way; it's simply what happens when you express your opinions. In your opinion, there's nothing wrong with being controversial.
You don't have a "live and let live" attitude when it comes to other people whose opinions clash with yours; you see no reason to give the benefit of the doubt to someone who is just plain wrong.

Unflappable

You are not a slave to your emotions. It takes a lot to upset or unnerve you. That's why you're a good person to have around in a crisis.
You don't let it all hang out, which means that those around you often don't know the pressures you're under or what you're going through. You're not the kind of person people run from in a crisis.

Ambitious

You often feel that you are above the rules that most other people follow. In this dog-eat-dog world, you are are willing to do what it takes to get ahead, even if it sometimes means stepping on others' toes.
You don't see the point of treating everyone with respect, or being absolutely honest and fair, when it's so clear that you sometimes have to bend the rules to get ahead.

Impulsive

You trust your your instincts. What others may see as rash behavior is, for you, simply going with your gut. Individuals with a high score on the "impulsive" trait tend to try new, sometimes outrageous, things.
You are not timid. For you, spending time microscopically examining the pros and cons of every decision means never getting anything accomplished.

Aesthetic

You appreciate art, beauty, and design; you know that they are not superficial but absolutely crucial to living the good life. You have good taste, and you're proud of it. Those with a high score on the "aesthetic" trait are often employed in literary or artistic professions, enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about the arts, reading, and travel.
You don't think it's pretentious to be moved by art and beauty. You're not one of those who believe it doesn't matter what something looks like as long as it does its job.

Creative

You are good at solving problems, coming up with original ideas, and seeing connections between things, connections that most other people miss. People with a high score on the "creative" trait often are employed in such fields as finance and scientific research, and enjoy avant garde and classical music as well as literary fiction and scholarly non-fiction.
You do not shun abstractions and concepts in favor of the concrete and tangible.

Loose

You feel that a clean, orderly desk is the sign of a person who doesn't have enough to do. Schedules and "to do" lists feel stifling; you thrive on a sense that anything goes, and know that the world won't end if you don't clean up after finishing a job.
You don't need to know that everything is in its place; it is not empowering to you to feel that the world around you is neat and organized. Mowing down every item on your "to do" list, every day, does not bring you joy.

Reckless

You tend to give in to your impulses and indulge your cravings. Rather than fight your emotions, you often do what comes naturally, which means occasionally overdoing it, sometimes even embarrassing yourself.
You are not good at resisting temptation and avoiding overindulgence; you are not the kind of person who doesn't regret anything you said or did.

Critical

You have high standards, and aren't shy about it. Some may feel that you are cruel, but "the truth hurts," and you're just the messenger.
You do not hesitate to offer criticism when it is deserved, and you don't necessarily want to hear anyone's excuses for not living up to your standards.

Competent

You strive to master everything you undertake. You tend to learn quickly and do not shy away from challenges.
You are not a "que sera sera" type of person, nor do you go easy on yourself when attempting to master a new skill or get a job done.

Why is it every teenager (especially teenage furries, it seems) have this odd obsession with making their character badass?

The characters inevitably are terrible. Demon forms, vampires, art of them with blood all over their mouths, hands, or body as if to say "Oh yes, I did indeed psychotically murder someone. It gives the impression that I am worthy of praise. You know. For killing someone."
These characters also seem prone to illnesses such as schizophrenia, PTSD, psychosis or psychotic episodes, hallucinations, "antisocial", bipolar, and whatever other illness can justify murder, rape, revenge killing, manslaughter (the defense usually pleading temporary insanity), and other horrible things. I have a feeling that none of these children have ever seen someone with any of these illnesses and still think OCD means acting charming like Monk, or psychosis means being suave like Patrick Bates.

The other thing that bothers me is the children who love guns, the military, and that sort of thing without actually caring about the whole "this actually kills people" thing. I don't want to drag personal experience into it, but if you think you can just spawn after being shot like in video games, you'll have a rude awakening. There are a lot of children who want to think that being in the military will garner them respect and allow them to kill people in real life. I have seen this mindset. I may be a sadistic bitch, but if you're joining the military in order to go kill some people, I hope you slip and break your ankle so you'll never be considered for deployment. Get the fuck out of that mindset. What the fuck is wrong with you.

Another thing about teenage gun nuts. You look like tools when you can't even hold a gun properly. Either learn basic gun safety or get out. pointing that cap gun at the camera/yourself makes you look like you bought your toy at a yard sale and didn't get the whole "how to fucking use it" memo. Regardless of whether it's loaded or not, don't wave it around like a spastic retard.

Teenagers in general. You knew this was coming. It is not cool to have a mental illness. It is not cool to make your parents hate you. It's not cool to give yourself a tattoo or piercing (I hope you get sepsis). Racism isn't cool, people dying irl is not cool, weed is not cool enough to warrant you talking about it all the fucking time, hating on things like cartoons or books other people like is not cool, and you are not cool.

There are many many things I would like to add but I'll settle for this.

when you dope you cope

when you drink you think

when you post when toast it roasts your boasts


Poetry © Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey 2011 and Google © spellcheck

I want to see if I can break my old speakers since I bought new ones. Let's give this a run.


Currently already tried:

Dolby Anol - Weapons of Mass Distraction: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLyk2pojcqE

Crookers - Sveglia: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMZyBwenoEk

Kafani featuring Keak Da Sneak - Fast (Like a NASCAR): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HzaRcfBDqE

Bart B More - Brap: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-ZvtbIStfk

Snoop Dogg ft Pharrell Williams - It Blows My Mind: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orM5cV3gEZ0

I stole this from  bonnii <3

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Heather
2. Kitty
3. Radio

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU'VE HAD:
1. Radioeater
2. Radiofucker
3. Noiseedit

THREE THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 33 MINUTES:
1. Slept
2. Ate
3. Vomited

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My legs
2. My cynicism
3. Sex appeal and you know it.

THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. The way I dance
2. my height
3. inability to recognize intranets sarcasm.

THREE PARTS OF YOUR ORIGINS:
1. Russian
2. Korean
3. Irish

THREE THINGS YOU'RE AFRAID OF:
1. My cats getting hurt
2. Being alone when I die
3. Never being remembered

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Nothing
2. except
3. a scarf

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Music
2. masturbation/sex
3. Masturbation/sex while listening to music food

THREE IMPORTANT OBJECTS:
1. My phone
2. my laptop
3. my mp3 player

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS/ARTISTS:
1. We Are Scientists
2. Motion City Soundtrack
3. Jamiroquai

THREE WAYS TO BE HAPPY:
1. sex
2. music?
3. Isn't this basically restating what I said earlier?
4. Don't sweat the small stuff?

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. Motion City Soundtrack - Antonia
2. W.A.S. - This Scene Is Dead
3. Passenger - Umbrella (Rihanna cover)

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Fursuit/go to a con
2. Write my living will
3. Meet  onai. What a sweetheart.

THREE THINGS YOU REGRET:
1. Bitch
2. I'm
3. flawless

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Fun
2. Physical contact
3. No jealousy

THREE IMPORTANT THINGS YOU'VE GIVEN TO THE WORLD:
1. pictures of myself
2. interesting conversations
3. Fear and Loathing in Cheyenne

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE: (not in order)
1. I'm an alcoholic
2. I'm a creep, I'm a loser
3. I don't belong here

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE IN THE SAME SEX: (changed for lesbianing purposes)
1. Nice body
2. Hair that's fun to play with
3. Kissable tummy

THREE EMOTIONAL THINGS YOU LIKE IN THE SAME SEX:
1. Shyness
2. Curiosity
3. Submissiveness

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Fly
2. Draw
3. Stop being a bitch

THREE THINGS YOU MISS FROM YOUR PAST:
1. Not being HIV+
2. My brother
3. When math only had numbers

THREE GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE:
1. Cuddles
2. Art
3. Food

THREE REASONS WHY YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE:
1. Becoming a control freak
2. Traumatic events
3. Nymphomania

THREE OF YOU YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Being a nuisance
2. Video games
3. Eating

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Go back to bed
2. Drink
3. Post this meme

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. none
2. i like
3. being lazy as shit

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR HOLIDAY:
1. Road
2. trip
3. fuck yes

THREE CARTOON CHARACTERS:
1. Lain
2. Catdog
3. Blue from Blue's Clues...?

THREE BOY’S NAMES:
1. Alex
2. Johnathon
3. Zachary

THREE GIRL'S NAMES:
1. Jessica
2. Ji
3. Victoria

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Road trip
2. Make a 5-course dinner for my mother and father
3. Party like a rock star

I want to commission some later on. Probably just a sketch, or something simple like that. Solo female pic because I need more art of Noir. MOAR. ART.

Anyone got a favorite porn artist to recommend?

edit: That isn't like, Zen or something. More obscure and readily available for commissions.

and doesn't abuse any tools to make every. single. character. look like they're made of latex.