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thought i was back
Posted 12 years agobut i'm kind of not.
The cool news is that
crimson_f0x and I are officially engaged. He finally popped the question and I can feel less awkward about introducing him as my fiance. :v It's weird and cool that I'll one day get to call him my husband.
other than that i'm actually in a severe bout of depression where i'm having a hard time even wanting to get out of bed, much less socialize with people or do anything at all. this day marks one entire month since my mom passed away, and between now and then there's been a lot that's happened and it feels like nothing has slowed down or gotten to a settled point. it's a lot to process since nothing wants to be gradual. i'm even losing weight from not eating so crimson's making sure i eat actual food. which feels disgusting to do right now.
so i have had about zero motivation to draw. i've barely picked up a pencil or barely doodled. i was working on something and i still have a commission i intend to work on, but otherwise.........i got nothing.
i'm not even motivated to cook, and usually i like doing that. i just wanna sleep.
The cool news is that
crimson_f0x and I are officially engaged. He finally popped the question and I can feel less awkward about introducing him as my fiance. :v It's weird and cool that I'll one day get to call him my husband.other than that i'm actually in a severe bout of depression where i'm having a hard time even wanting to get out of bed, much less socialize with people or do anything at all. this day marks one entire month since my mom passed away, and between now and then there's been a lot that's happened and it feels like nothing has slowed down or gotten to a settled point. it's a lot to process since nothing wants to be gradual. i'm even losing weight from not eating so crimson's making sure i eat actual food. which feels disgusting to do right now.
so i have had about zero motivation to draw. i've barely picked up a pencil or barely doodled. i was working on something and i still have a commission i intend to work on, but otherwise.........i got nothing.
i'm not even motivated to cook, and usually i like doing that. i just wanna sleep.
thirty, flirty and thriving
Posted 12 years agoi have 13 going on 30 on the brain
i think i'm ready to jump back into the art world progressively now that things are making a change, so how are you all
i think i'm ready to jump back into the art world progressively now that things are making a change, so how are you all
I got a 3DS let's be friends
Posted 12 years agoI'm only playing Pokemon X right now, looking to get New Leaf soon. Here's the friend code: 5472-7501-6589
Back home.
Posted 12 years agoThanks for the condolences. Sorry I'm not responding to the messages in the previous post, I dunno what more to say without repeating myself over and over. It's tough goings, but it's going all the same.
It's been a week of complete heartache, exhaustion and uncomfortable places to sleep, so it'll be nice to have my own bed again. Everything's such a blur, it all feels very unreal. Still in a mode where it's difficult to accept everything that's happened. It's difficult to find the right words to say to really justify her.
My mom was amazing. She was funny, kind, optimistic. She had quite the attitude at times, and was such a dork, but always meant well in her actions. She did everything as a single mother to look out for us and provide the very best. I miss her way too much. There's so much in my head that I want to explain, but it's hard to properly get it all out. It's very unreal to try and accept that she's gone when she was so active in our lives. She was a best friend as well as a mother. Always had a sense of humor, never admitted that she was in any pain, not even in the end. Tough and stubborn, through and through. I don't think I'll ever be as brave as she was. I even hate having to speak about her in past tense, it's so hard to believe she's gone.
I love my mommy so very much. We had a bit of a rough ending, but I did my very best to be there for her and talk with her through everything. I wish I could properly apologize for my screwups and let her know how sincerely sorry I am I couldn't do more for her. I should've done more, but I was in such denial. Plus, I was kept out of the loop about her short time frame. Last update I had was she was given a month, and suddenly she was given two weeks a week or so ago. She didn't even make that. At the very least, it was best to have been by her side until her last breath. It was so damn difficult to let go.
My sister says that she's her Wonder Woman, and I could agree with that. Such an amazing, strong, brave fighter. I hope that I can one day have the courage and other fine qualities she had to face any challenge in life. I'm so weak compared to her.
Rest in Peace mom, I can never stop loving you with all my heart.
It's been a week of complete heartache, exhaustion and uncomfortable places to sleep, so it'll be nice to have my own bed again. Everything's such a blur, it all feels very unreal. Still in a mode where it's difficult to accept everything that's happened. It's difficult to find the right words to say to really justify her.
My mom was amazing. She was funny, kind, optimistic. She had quite the attitude at times, and was such a dork, but always meant well in her actions. She did everything as a single mother to look out for us and provide the very best. I miss her way too much. There's so much in my head that I want to explain, but it's hard to properly get it all out. It's very unreal to try and accept that she's gone when she was so active in our lives. She was a best friend as well as a mother. Always had a sense of humor, never admitted that she was in any pain, not even in the end. Tough and stubborn, through and through. I don't think I'll ever be as brave as she was. I even hate having to speak about her in past tense, it's so hard to believe she's gone.
I love my mommy so very much. We had a bit of a rough ending, but I did my very best to be there for her and talk with her through everything. I wish I could properly apologize for my screwups and let her know how sincerely sorry I am I couldn't do more for her. I should've done more, but I was in such denial. Plus, I was kept out of the loop about her short time frame. Last update I had was she was given a month, and suddenly she was given two weeks a week or so ago. She didn't even make that. At the very least, it was best to have been by her side until her last breath. It was so damn difficult to let go.
My sister says that she's her Wonder Woman, and I could agree with that. Such an amazing, strong, brave fighter. I hope that I can one day have the courage and other fine qualities she had to face any challenge in life. I'm so weak compared to her.
Rest in Peace mom, I can never stop loving you with all my heart.
Mom passed away
Posted 12 years agoEarly on this morning, after the lengthy difficult fight against cancer, my mother was called home to rest and be eased of her pain.
i don't have much to say. it's been an exhausting day with many tears. my mom was an awesome, inspiring woman. i really hate to see her go, i miss her so much.
love you so much mom, karebear's thinking of you always.
i don't have much to say. it's been an exhausting day with many tears. my mom was an awesome, inspiring woman. i really hate to see her go, i miss her so much.
love you so much mom, karebear's thinking of you always.
Leaving in the morning
Posted 12 years agoThings have taken an even faster turn downhill, and I need to go see my mom asap. This may be my last opportunity to see her.
I'm kind of at a loss for words right now and don't have much to say, but this is the update and please understand my absence. Thank you.
I'm kind of at a loss for words right now and don't have much to say, but this is the update and please understand my absence. Thank you.
Even an update from that
Posted 12 years agoThe 6 months I just posted about has officially cut down to maybe a month. I don't know how to take this.
Bad news
Posted 12 years agoSo, uh.
Yeah, my mom had been diagnosed with an aggressive cancer that had gotten on a lung and was invading her bloodstream. She'd been on a harsh chemotherapy for a few months, and has been admitted to the hospital twice now due to complications. Had a bad urinal infection, and recently she was puking so much nothing was settling in her system. They did a scan and were able to find a tumor putting pressure on her intestines, and that the spot on her lung has since gotten larger.
She's being given 6 months to live. She refused doing chemotherapy for a third time, and refused the idea of a high risk surgery that wouldn't extend her life.
We're not giving up hope on her, my mom is strong and amazing, but this is taking quite the toll on the family and there's been a lot of fighting and heartache.
At this point, it's better to make a public post about it like I've been avoiding, just so people can understand any moments where I seem to be dropping out. I ask that you please understand the troubles that are going on right now. I will continue to work on what I owe. Thank you.
Yeah, my mom had been diagnosed with an aggressive cancer that had gotten on a lung and was invading her bloodstream. She'd been on a harsh chemotherapy for a few months, and has been admitted to the hospital twice now due to complications. Had a bad urinal infection, and recently she was puking so much nothing was settling in her system. They did a scan and were able to find a tumor putting pressure on her intestines, and that the spot on her lung has since gotten larger.
She's being given 6 months to live. She refused doing chemotherapy for a third time, and refused the idea of a high risk surgery that wouldn't extend her life.
We're not giving up hope on her, my mom is strong and amazing, but this is taking quite the toll on the family and there's been a lot of fighting and heartache.
At this point, it's better to make a public post about it like I've been avoiding, just so people can understand any moments where I seem to be dropping out. I ask that you please understand the troubles that are going on right now. I will continue to work on what I owe. Thank you.
affection and commissions
Posted 12 years agoi am open for both
Who wants a commission? PWYW offer
Posted 12 years agoOffering pay what you want as long as it's reasonable commissions. If you're not sure, just ask, I'm always good to negotiate!
If I could get somebody that wants an expressive theme going on, that'd be fantastic. I'm simply not drawing enough characters with a range of expression. :v
*I can take requests pertaining to this buuuuuuut I'm not gonna take on anybody's character. Make it like an official cartoon character, or video game, or whatever. Can be NSFW but I prefer the theme having more than a "hey sexy how u doin" kind of look pls
If I could get somebody that wants an expressive theme going on, that'd be fantastic. I'm simply not drawing enough characters with a range of expression. :v
*I can take requests pertaining to this buuuuuuut I'm not gonna take on anybody's character. Make it like an official cartoon character, or video game, or whatever. Can be NSFW but I prefer the theme having more than a "hey sexy how u doin" kind of look pls
is a meme steal it
Posted 12 years ago1. Why did you join FurAffinity?
well because am animal person so do animal things
2. What does your username have to do with you?
It's the name I've been known as in the fandom for a good 7 years.
3. What is your current avatar of?
Rumplestiltskin/Mr. Gold >:S
4. How many watchers do you have, and how many do you watch?
i don't wanna looooooooooook
5. Do you have more than one account?
I have secret ones no one knows about and I never update them anyway
6. Name 3 of your favorite artists on FA.
henrieke 
shenanigan 
spookaboo
7. What artist do you admire because of their personality?
There's a lot of very lovely artists with good personalities, rather long list to go through.
8. Do you comment, fave, or both?
Fave I'm so bad about commenting
9. What do you typically post on FA?
Cartoons and porn
10.What's your favorite submission in your gallery?
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/11019193/
11. What are the things you wish you could draw better?
Poses, expressions, scenery
12. How many hours a day do you spend on FA?
too many
13. Are you a fast, slow, or medium typer?
Rly rly fast yo
14. What is the most annoying thing people ask you?
"can u do it 4 free lol"
15. What is the most annoying/offending comment you've received?
Criticism on gift art and never have been given a thank you on "free" art are actually what really pisses me off.
16. What/who inspires you?
everything ever
17. Everyone has considered leaving FA once or twice. Have you? Why?
Idk I'm not terribly active with the actual fandom just the pretty art so I've never been really tempted to leave
well because am animal person so do animal things
2. What does your username have to do with you?
It's the name I've been known as in the fandom for a good 7 years.
3. What is your current avatar of?
Rumplestiltskin/Mr. Gold >:S
4. How many watchers do you have, and how many do you watch?
i don't wanna looooooooooook
5. Do you have more than one account?
I have secret ones no one knows about and I never update them anyway
6. Name 3 of your favorite artists on FA.
henrieke 
shenanigan 
spookaboo7. What artist do you admire because of their personality?
There's a lot of very lovely artists with good personalities, rather long list to go through.
8. Do you comment, fave, or both?
Fave I'm so bad about commenting
9. What do you typically post on FA?
Cartoons and porn
10.What's your favorite submission in your gallery?
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/11019193/
11. What are the things you wish you could draw better?
Poses, expressions, scenery
12. How many hours a day do you spend on FA?
too many
13. Are you a fast, slow, or medium typer?
Rly rly fast yo
14. What is the most annoying thing people ask you?
"can u do it 4 free lol"
15. What is the most annoying/offending comment you've received?
Criticism on gift art and never have been given a thank you on "free" art are actually what really pisses me off.
16. What/who inspires you?
everything ever
17. Everyone has considered leaving FA once or twice. Have you? Why?
Idk I'm not terribly active with the actual fandom just the pretty art so I've never been really tempted to leave
kink/fetish trade?
Posted 12 years agohay guys i'm finishing up the two commissions in my queue and while it's still fresh in my mind i was wondering if anybody would want to to a trade pertaining to sexual things?
i'm just asking for something like hypnotism, i'm down with pretty much anything so long as it's legal (leik no cub pls)
i'm just asking for something like hypnotism, i'm down with pretty much anything so long as it's legal (leik no cub pls)
comment and receive a compliment
Posted 12 years agoi wanna do something positive today 'cause why not
Squishable!
Posted 12 years agoI made up a SECRETARY BIRD Squishables design on their website, and you can click HERE http://www.squishable.com/c/voting_category/ to vote for it! Please help the bird world have more bird and bring this design to life!
SPEAKING OF BIRDS
Posted 12 years agoMy Squishable design is NOW up for votes on squishables.com! It's the first and only secretary bird shown at the top of the page, and I'd simply adore it if you guys could vote and help this become a thing!
Vote here! (You can sign in with Facebook if you don't have an account!) https://www.squishable.com/c/voting_category/
Vote here! (You can sign in with Facebook if you don't have an account!) https://www.squishable.com/c/voting_category/
Gryphons
Posted 12 years agoWho's around to toss some refs for me to sketch a gryphon or two in the late morning?
gryphon only plz and i don't wanna bother with "u cud tern ma karcter in2 grefen!" i just wanna sketch pre-existing characters
gryphon only plz and i don't wanna bother with "u cud tern ma karcter in2 grefen!" i just wanna sketch pre-existing characters
back from my hiatus
Posted 12 years agoand back to work
hay guys
Posted 12 years agohow ya doin?
i'm still at my mom's, it's rather stressful and i'm here until the 16th so i've been a bit too antisocial lately. but i miss chatting with you guys, we should talk more, i wanna know what everyone else is up to
i'm still at my mom's, it's rather stressful and i'm here until the 16th so i've been a bit too antisocial lately. but i miss chatting with you guys, we should talk more, i wanna know what everyone else is up to
owwwwww
Posted 12 years agoGuys I got a second degree burn today
I dropped a fryer on it
I am still working on the commissions I owe but there's now a bit of a hiatus due to this and the fact that I will be leaving on Friday. I will do my best to get
eliserat's piece completed before then
i'm so sorry guys, this really sucks LOL
I dropped a fryer on it
I am still working on the commissions I owe but there's now a bit of a hiatus due to this and the fact that I will be leaving on Friday. I will do my best to get
eliserat's piece completed before theni'm so sorry guys, this really sucks LOL
Animal Crossing: City Folk
Posted 12 years agoEveryone else is playing New Leaf but I just started City Folk on the Wii.
Anybody else active on that? My friend code is 4814-8577-2590, name is Noma and town is Smegma. Add me, let's do shit together.
Anybody else active on that? My friend code is 4814-8577-2590, name is Noma and town is Smegma. Add me, let's do shit together.
Who wants a drawing
Posted 12 years agoPWYW but make it reasonable for what you might have in mind U___u porn is okay dokay with me
hey guys
Posted 12 years agosorry i'm not active and posting up the art that i owe
my mom has cancer right now, she's active on chemo, i'm trying to figure out if i can get up there or not to help support her
there's a lot going on and it's becoming physically/emotionally draining
like, i don't wanna wake up in the morning kind of level
so sorry guys but i'll do my best to get stuff posted up
my mom has cancer right now, she's active on chemo, i'm trying to figure out if i can get up there or not to help support her
there's a lot going on and it's becoming physically/emotionally draining
like, i don't wanna wake up in the morning kind of level
so sorry guys but i'll do my best to get stuff posted up
San Diego Pride Fest
Posted 12 years agotmi WEDNESDAY shit i'm a day late
Posted 12 years agoi want conversation to happen
bring it on
bring it on
IF I OWE YOU A DRAWING
Posted 12 years agoPLEASE NOTIFY ME ABOUT THIS SO I CAN PUT YOU IN MY QUEUE (i have a bad memory but i remember enough to know who is owed a drawing and who isn't btw so don't be sneaky with me!)
Right now I have a trade with
cartoonlover
A pic for
psy101
A cover image for
taladrian
Right now I have a trade with
cartoonloverA pic for
psy101A cover image for
taladrian