FA+
Shop
Nightmares again.... Please God let me be awake now....
General | Posted 14 years agoI had a severe migraine headache coming on at about 10:00pm Mountain time. I took some excedrin and went down for a nap. It took me maybe an hour to fall asleep, I don't honestly know for certain. I think I've been awake for almost an hour as of this posting.
I say I think, because I'm not actually sure where the dream ended, or if it's ended.
As I was falling asleep, I got a distinct impression that something was standing just inside the door to the room I've been sleeping in since moving to New Mexico. It was tall, at least seven feet, and wore a heavy mask, something like a welding mask. The subconscious impression of this could easily have come from watching part of a let's play of Ben Croshaw's "5 Days a Stranger", but it's an impression I've had before. The form changes, but the format is always the same. Extremely tall, massive, and masked.... and I can never look directly at where I sense it. I still could not, and while I tried to ignore it, it persisted as I fell asleep. I'm not sure in retrospect how I managed to fall asleep at all, with something so terrifying I could not even make myself move to look at it at the edges of my perception.
In my dream, what I can only assume was a dream, I woke up in the very room I fell asleep in, terrified out of my wits. For some reason there was a pickaxe by my bed, and I took it, stood, dressed, and tried to turn on the light. Even though the string of lights I have as a nightlight in my room was giving off its usual soft glow, the light switch did not respond to being turned on. No lights. I left the room. There was some how enough light in the hall to see, but the light switch there did not work either. I knew going down stairs would be a bad idea. I went to the bedroom down the hall. I caught a flash of something deformed and twisted, something corrupted beyond humanity inside the room. I hurled the pickaxe and there was nothing there. I tried the light switch. No light. I retrieved the pickaxe, overcoming my fear momentarily. I went into the bathroom, the streetlight outside providing enough illumination for me to do my business there, although I checked around, always with the axe at the ready. Of course, the light switch did not work.
I returned to my room, catching another glimpse of something there I again threw the pickaxe, hitting nothing but the wood paneling of the wall. I began to wonder if I should not also have my pipe wrench with me, or a flashlight. I decided to wait. I sat down on the bed, and fell asleep again, with the same mental impressions. My perspective changed again, a dream within a dream.
As stupid as this is going to sound, I was in my world in Terraria. I did not have my armor or any of my special equipment, other than my pickaxe again. I remember the world being both two dimensional and three dimensional; 3d in first person, but in third person it was 2d and I could see my game sprite with its red shirt, dark pants, and blue-gray hair and goggles. I started at the entrance to one of my tunnels, just outside an area called the corruption. There was a sign marking the tunnel and two tiki torches to either side, just like in my game. I dropped down into the tunnel, making my way toward the end of the map, running as fast as I could. I didn't encounter anything other than a flying enemy on my way down, a big Eater of Souls. Those things are already freaky, they're a thousand times worse when your mind makes them three dimensionally real. I made it to the end of the map, in the little base I had set up, and began to descend to my newest tunnel as I had intended to do when next I played... but I encountered what I can only describe as a cobra, several times larger than me, comprised of nothing but blackened, charred bones.
Just before it killed me I woke into the earlier dream and saw the presence that had so terrified me on falling asleep, standing where I had felt it before. This and a loud clap of thunder woke me again, and I was on my side, wrapped only partially in my blanket, generating so much heat that I actually felt like I was burning. This happens to me often after nightmares; I'm unsure why. Perhaps my intention to fight or run is so strong that my body temperature raises substantially, perhaps it could be explained as a side effect of my well developed qi, perhaps it'd purely mental as one of the last real dangers I woke up to was a fire, and the feeling is always reminiscent of waking up in a burning room. I don't know. But As silly as this all seems, some element of it is haunting me. It took me twenty minutes to leave the bed room, and I've had my wrench on me since just before I did. I turned on every light in the upstairs of the house.I could barely make myself pass through the dark dining room to get to the kitchen for something to drink; I had to smoke a cigarette and calm down first. And while I was out, for however long I was out, a ferocious storm had blown in for the second night in a row here.
I'm a little calmer now that I've typed this all out... but I'm still pretty freaked. I think I'm going to go back outside and watch the storm for a little while. Thanks for listening, anyone who reads.
I have a possible theory about all of this, also.
It's a tendency of mine, when I become stressed, to begin to neglect some maintenance types of activity (such as taking supplements). I begin to lose the ability to maintain a routine, which escalates the stress.
When my stress levels become high enough, I have in the past experienced hallucinations or psychosis, typically extremely vivid and involving multiple forms of sensory input. I'm usually very, very lucid about this. I have had a number of doctors comment on how impressive it is that I can discern what is the product of a psychotic episode; but simply put I'm smart enough to know when something is just not possible. So with reality testing, I know when it's happening in the early stages so I can mitigate it somewhat. If I do so, the symptoms abate and I return to my day to day life. The experience of something present with me in a place where I know I am alone is often a sign that I am becoming too stressed.... and yet in this new place I don't know what I can do to help it. This... this is troubling on a great many levels. I have some misgivings about saying all of this in a public forum, but It's not a policy of mine to be afraid of what's true, especially if I could benefit from the advice of others. If anyone reads this.... I sure could use some advice.
I say I think, because I'm not actually sure where the dream ended, or if it's ended.
As I was falling asleep, I got a distinct impression that something was standing just inside the door to the room I've been sleeping in since moving to New Mexico. It was tall, at least seven feet, and wore a heavy mask, something like a welding mask. The subconscious impression of this could easily have come from watching part of a let's play of Ben Croshaw's "5 Days a Stranger", but it's an impression I've had before. The form changes, but the format is always the same. Extremely tall, massive, and masked.... and I can never look directly at where I sense it. I still could not, and while I tried to ignore it, it persisted as I fell asleep. I'm not sure in retrospect how I managed to fall asleep at all, with something so terrifying I could not even make myself move to look at it at the edges of my perception.
In my dream, what I can only assume was a dream, I woke up in the very room I fell asleep in, terrified out of my wits. For some reason there was a pickaxe by my bed, and I took it, stood, dressed, and tried to turn on the light. Even though the string of lights I have as a nightlight in my room was giving off its usual soft glow, the light switch did not respond to being turned on. No lights. I left the room. There was some how enough light in the hall to see, but the light switch there did not work either. I knew going down stairs would be a bad idea. I went to the bedroom down the hall. I caught a flash of something deformed and twisted, something corrupted beyond humanity inside the room. I hurled the pickaxe and there was nothing there. I tried the light switch. No light. I retrieved the pickaxe, overcoming my fear momentarily. I went into the bathroom, the streetlight outside providing enough illumination for me to do my business there, although I checked around, always with the axe at the ready. Of course, the light switch did not work.
I returned to my room, catching another glimpse of something there I again threw the pickaxe, hitting nothing but the wood paneling of the wall. I began to wonder if I should not also have my pipe wrench with me, or a flashlight. I decided to wait. I sat down on the bed, and fell asleep again, with the same mental impressions. My perspective changed again, a dream within a dream.
As stupid as this is going to sound, I was in my world in Terraria. I did not have my armor or any of my special equipment, other than my pickaxe again. I remember the world being both two dimensional and three dimensional; 3d in first person, but in third person it was 2d and I could see my game sprite with its red shirt, dark pants, and blue-gray hair and goggles. I started at the entrance to one of my tunnels, just outside an area called the corruption. There was a sign marking the tunnel and two tiki torches to either side, just like in my game. I dropped down into the tunnel, making my way toward the end of the map, running as fast as I could. I didn't encounter anything other than a flying enemy on my way down, a big Eater of Souls. Those things are already freaky, they're a thousand times worse when your mind makes them three dimensionally real. I made it to the end of the map, in the little base I had set up, and began to descend to my newest tunnel as I had intended to do when next I played... but I encountered what I can only describe as a cobra, several times larger than me, comprised of nothing but blackened, charred bones.
Just before it killed me I woke into the earlier dream and saw the presence that had so terrified me on falling asleep, standing where I had felt it before. This and a loud clap of thunder woke me again, and I was on my side, wrapped only partially in my blanket, generating so much heat that I actually felt like I was burning. This happens to me often after nightmares; I'm unsure why. Perhaps my intention to fight or run is so strong that my body temperature raises substantially, perhaps it could be explained as a side effect of my well developed qi, perhaps it'd purely mental as one of the last real dangers I woke up to was a fire, and the feeling is always reminiscent of waking up in a burning room. I don't know. But As silly as this all seems, some element of it is haunting me. It took me twenty minutes to leave the bed room, and I've had my wrench on me since just before I did. I turned on every light in the upstairs of the house.I could barely make myself pass through the dark dining room to get to the kitchen for something to drink; I had to smoke a cigarette and calm down first. And while I was out, for however long I was out, a ferocious storm had blown in for the second night in a row here.
I'm a little calmer now that I've typed this all out... but I'm still pretty freaked. I think I'm going to go back outside and watch the storm for a little while. Thanks for listening, anyone who reads.
I have a possible theory about all of this, also.
It's a tendency of mine, when I become stressed, to begin to neglect some maintenance types of activity (such as taking supplements). I begin to lose the ability to maintain a routine, which escalates the stress.
When my stress levels become high enough, I have in the past experienced hallucinations or psychosis, typically extremely vivid and involving multiple forms of sensory input. I'm usually very, very lucid about this. I have had a number of doctors comment on how impressive it is that I can discern what is the product of a psychotic episode; but simply put I'm smart enough to know when something is just not possible. So with reality testing, I know when it's happening in the early stages so I can mitigate it somewhat. If I do so, the symptoms abate and I return to my day to day life. The experience of something present with me in a place where I know I am alone is often a sign that I am becoming too stressed.... and yet in this new place I don't know what I can do to help it. This... this is troubling on a great many levels. I have some misgivings about saying all of this in a public forum, but It's not a policy of mine to be afraid of what's true, especially if I could benefit from the advice of others. If anyone reads this.... I sure could use some advice.
Drawing for a free plushie, and an additional surprise =3
General | Posted 14 years agoSorry folks, this isn't from me, it's from 
harukifoxtrot
Go here for more details: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2559213/
It's totally adorable =3 And there's something else to go along with it apparently.
Good luck!
harukifoxtrotGo here for more details: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2559213/
It's totally adorable =3 And there's something else to go along with it apparently.
Good luck!
Happy Birthday to me!!
General | Posted 14 years agoI'm 27!
And I'm counting from Central time, 'cuz that's where I was born.
=3
Can anyone answer the following:
If I were going to post some video logs of my progress, where would I go to do that?
and
Does anyone have some advice on good resources for learning prop dancing? Poi is an example, but I don't know if I want to learn poi. I want to get my hands on a good glow staff, because I'm already really familiar with how a staff moves and flows, and I'm interested in getting to know a few other toys as well. If you have some advice, or want to discuss that, by all means, let me know. I've been really feeling the urge to move more since I got here, and I mean to follow it as part of the many changes I'm making.
I've been here for twenty seven years in this body; and I intend to make this body's Twenty Seventh year the best year I have ever experienced!
Any and all help toward that end would be received with love and gratitude I'm not sure how to express in words. You guys have been awesome to me, and I love all of you.
Till later!
And I'm counting from Central time, 'cuz that's where I was born.
=3
Can anyone answer the following:
If I were going to post some video logs of my progress, where would I go to do that?
and
Does anyone have some advice on good resources for learning prop dancing? Poi is an example, but I don't know if I want to learn poi. I want to get my hands on a good glow staff, because I'm already really familiar with how a staff moves and flows, and I'm interested in getting to know a few other toys as well. If you have some advice, or want to discuss that, by all means, let me know. I've been really feeling the urge to move more since I got here, and I mean to follow it as part of the many changes I'm making.
I've been here for twenty seven years in this body; and I intend to make this body's Twenty Seventh year the best year I have ever experienced!
Any and all help toward that end would be received with love and gratitude I'm not sure how to express in words. You guys have been awesome to me, and I love all of you.
Till later!
So, birthday's coming up.....
General | Posted 14 years agoOn Tuesday.
Yep.
Yep.
Free Adult Art Contest- TEN Orgy Slots!
General | Posted 14 years agoGO HERE:
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2576101/
Follow this journal link to enter this contest. There will be ten winners. Good luck! :3"
And as for the wonderful artist who is making this piece:
paxredemption :iconpaxredemption paxredemption paxredemptionPlease check out their page and if you like what you see (I know I did!) be sure to watch the artist. :3 This is their new Adult-only art account so there's only more to come from them in the future!
This seems like a fun opportunity to get in on! Again, that journal link to follow is:
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2576101/
Good Luck!! =3
Hey, someone's doing a free art raffle!!
General | Posted 14 years ago
boxhead and 
v6-fluke are holding a raffle for their new collab account,
clusterfunksConfused yet? x3 No need to be.
See this journal for more details: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2603242/
Yep, Me too (fat bunnies x3)
General | Posted 14 years agohttp://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2583736/ Check it out! Freebies n.n
Well, today's the day!
General | Posted 14 years agoWell, I've packed up my game and I'm going out... east, actually! x3
I have a special someone who deserves some attention from me for a few days before I head out to Carlsbad. But beginning today, I am finally getting my show on the road.
I'm really looking forward to the next several days.
Everyone who knows me in person: Those of you I got a chance to see, I'm glad. I really appreciated the opportunity to get together with you, and I'll be in touch.
If I didn't get a chance to see you, I'm totally sorry about it, but this isn't a permanent arrangement; I'm leaving behind far too many roots to stay gone for too, too long.
Either way, I'll miss you guys.
Look forward to seeing new work from me as soon as I'm settled in >=3
As a special note, I had an opportunity with a few of my closest friends I'd like to share.
On Tuesday night, I prepared a meal: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6201818
It's a classic little concoction of mine, with some variations suggested by my friend,
mitsozuka
We finished off with a desert of toll house chocolate chip cookies; an excellent time all around.
Following this meal, the six of us that gathered cracked open a bottle of 2005 Robert Mondavi Private Selection Cabernet Sauvignon. This is of special significance; 2005 was a particularly good year for me and the rest of my friends, and we bought the bottle in 2007 to set aside until another really good year came along. It's been in a drawer in my room, aging, to an excellent six years. I decided that we should open it up, and everyone agreed, so I brought it along. We also had a celebratory smoke, in the form of a Djarum Black for those who wanted one.
It was exquisite, and perfectly deserving of the toast I made with it, my first ever. I can't recall it verbatim, I'm afraid, but I'll try:
" Gentlemen. We've fallen on tough times lately. I don't have to tell you things have been rough; it goes without saying. When we purchased this bottle, we agreed to set it aside for a good year, but a good year just hasn't come along. So, why open it now?
You see, I'm tired of waiting for a good year to just happen. I've decided to make this one good, and I hope you'll all do the same. From now, until this time next year, I hope you all enjoy more success in your endeavors, and more happiness, than in all the years this wine has been aging. To a good year!"
As a sentimental aside, even though you couldn't enjoy the wine with me, I offer everyone who reads this the same blessing; may you have better times in the next year than you have in all the last six combined, and think of me the next time you have a drink. You can be damned sure I will be thinking of you all, and even more sure that I'm making this the best year of my life.
I have a special someone who deserves some attention from me for a few days before I head out to Carlsbad. But beginning today, I am finally getting my show on the road.
I'm really looking forward to the next several days.
Everyone who knows me in person: Those of you I got a chance to see, I'm glad. I really appreciated the opportunity to get together with you, and I'll be in touch.
If I didn't get a chance to see you, I'm totally sorry about it, but this isn't a permanent arrangement; I'm leaving behind far too many roots to stay gone for too, too long.
Either way, I'll miss you guys.
Look forward to seeing new work from me as soon as I'm settled in >=3
As a special note, I had an opportunity with a few of my closest friends I'd like to share.
On Tuesday night, I prepared a meal: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6201818
It's a classic little concoction of mine, with some variations suggested by my friend,
mitsozukaWe finished off with a desert of toll house chocolate chip cookies; an excellent time all around.
Following this meal, the six of us that gathered cracked open a bottle of 2005 Robert Mondavi Private Selection Cabernet Sauvignon. This is of special significance; 2005 was a particularly good year for me and the rest of my friends, and we bought the bottle in 2007 to set aside until another really good year came along. It's been in a drawer in my room, aging, to an excellent six years. I decided that we should open it up, and everyone agreed, so I brought it along. We also had a celebratory smoke, in the form of a Djarum Black for those who wanted one.
It was exquisite, and perfectly deserving of the toast I made with it, my first ever. I can't recall it verbatim, I'm afraid, but I'll try:
" Gentlemen. We've fallen on tough times lately. I don't have to tell you things have been rough; it goes without saying. When we purchased this bottle, we agreed to set it aside for a good year, but a good year just hasn't come along. So, why open it now?
You see, I'm tired of waiting for a good year to just happen. I've decided to make this one good, and I hope you'll all do the same. From now, until this time next year, I hope you all enjoy more success in your endeavors, and more happiness, than in all the years this wine has been aging. To a good year!"
As a sentimental aside, even though you couldn't enjoy the wine with me, I offer everyone who reads this the same blessing; may you have better times in the next year than you have in all the last six combined, and think of me the next time you have a drink. You can be damned sure I will be thinking of you all, and even more sure that I'm making this the best year of my life.
Featured Artists and UPDATE: Goin' Out West!
General | Posted 14 years agoSo,
mitsozuka will be pulling into good ol' Pensacola later today. I still have plenty more than enough to do, so I shouldn't really be dicking around on the internet but really, at this point, I only have to pack my clothes away and a few odds and ends I can't really do without from day to day.I really need to do a laundry and try to organize on paper some of what I still need to pack up. I'm pretty close to done.
I'm pretty nervous, too.... This is a pretty big deal for me.
But while I'm very nervous?
The overlying feeling I'm experiencing is really excitement. This is a challenge and I'm determined to make something really good happen with this opportunity.
I can't wait to get started >=3
So, I swiped this thing below from my friend
dragonmeldeFEATURED ARTISTS
The first 10 artists who comment on this journal will be featured here, along with three pieces of art chosen from their gallery by myself.
If you answer, you'll have to do the same in your journal, putting me on the first place, completing the list with 10 other people. The idea of this is not to get a free feature, it is to spread art around for everyone!
1.
dragonmeldehttp://www.furaffinity.net/view/4940652/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5192138/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6128697/
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
So, about that 'smoking fast'?
General | Posted 14 years agoI gave up cigarettes and nicotine cold turkey for a week, just to prove that I could do without them. It was, and is, an incredibly empowering feeling. I am a totally unmedicated, neurodiverse, bipolar ptsd sufferer. Why I would find something that could take the edge off to be fairly appealing should be quite evident, but I needed to take some power over my decision making back from my addiction. So I put them down for a full week after nine years of never missing a day. It was hard, and it feels amazing to know that I have that kind of personal power.
Still...
As I had planned, I broke my fast today. One week without smoking.
This was enough time for me to slough off and regenerate the entire inside of my mouth. I can smell things.... and taste things.... and I just lit up one of the brand I've been smoking for the sake of convenience to see what it would be like. If you're familiar with the brand 'Santa Fe', they are a kind of filtered cigarillo. They're really inexpensive because they fall into a lower tax class than cigarettes.
And they taste like newspaper and the bottom of a gas can. The flavor is not without its charm, and it goes well with coffee.... but I'm sitting here, feeling a real nicotine buzz for the first time in nearly a decade and laughing my ass off about thinking I needed this to hold myself back from random bouts of homicidal rage.
I can honestly say? I was an idiot. An idiot with very, very poor taste. I think i can enjoy these as an occasional luxury, and so afford a better class of drug.
I have a lot of vices; I like sex, I like to drink, I like to eat chocolate and excessive amounts of food and junk food, I love caffeinated beverages and sodas, energy drinks, marijuana, and I have a long standing love affair with physical pain....
But none of these things are things that I do on a daily basis. I have alcohol in my house. I have chocolate. I have access to basically any vice I like when I choose to partake of it, but none of them are the master of me. Now, I can begin to say the same of my smoking habit.
Still...
As I had planned, I broke my fast today. One week without smoking.
This was enough time for me to slough off and regenerate the entire inside of my mouth. I can smell things.... and taste things.... and I just lit up one of the brand I've been smoking for the sake of convenience to see what it would be like. If you're familiar with the brand 'Santa Fe', they are a kind of filtered cigarillo. They're really inexpensive because they fall into a lower tax class than cigarettes.
And they taste like newspaper and the bottom of a gas can. The flavor is not without its charm, and it goes well with coffee.... but I'm sitting here, feeling a real nicotine buzz for the first time in nearly a decade and laughing my ass off about thinking I needed this to hold myself back from random bouts of homicidal rage.
I can honestly say? I was an idiot. An idiot with very, very poor taste. I think i can enjoy these as an occasional luxury, and so afford a better class of drug.
I have a lot of vices; I like sex, I like to drink, I like to eat chocolate and excessive amounts of food and junk food, I love caffeinated beverages and sodas, energy drinks, marijuana, and I have a long standing love affair with physical pain....
But none of these things are things that I do on a daily basis. I have alcohol in my house. I have chocolate. I have access to basically any vice I like when I choose to partake of it, but none of them are the master of me. Now, I can begin to say the same of my smoking habit.
RELOCATION UPDATE!! READ!!
General | Posted 14 years agoOkay, so, there are new dates for my trip. Everyone will be happier about this, I'm sure.
So, just so I don't leave anything out, I'm re-posting my previous journal with all data updated so nobody misses it.
So
Do I have your attention?
Good.
As of July 30, 2011, I will be relocating to Carlsbad, New Mexico, INDEFINITELY.
mitsozuka has engineered this bit of mayhem with me. Perhaps it will do some good.
I'll try to be back for the holidays. If you want to see me sometime before Christmas, you need to do it sometime in the next two weeks.
So....
Why the Hell am I doing this?
1.) Mitso is my friend. I love him and I want him to be happy.
2.) I need a change of scenery, badly.
3.) A less toxic environment will help me to sort out my priorities, asess my goals, and evaluate my life direction.
4.) My mother will fare better without the financial strain I represent.
5.) I need to do something big and scary. I could compare this to the Terrasque.
6.) Clearly, what I am doing here is simply not working. I have tried and tried. I know exactly what needs to happen to make it work. This is not an admission of defeat, it is a tactical withdrawal for the purpose of allocating resources.
7.) I need to find out if I can run a business successfully.
8.) I need to find out if I can run myself successfully.
9.) I have an opportunity to do something I have always wanted to do and I'm going to take that opportunity: I'm going to try and build a vehicle.
http://www.vortexplans.com
10.) Ari. If I can sustain my basic needs under my own income and get my hands on a sustainable vehicle, I can finally do what I've wanted to do for four and a half years now.
11.) ME. Even if this whole thing explodes in my face (it won't, but parts of it will) I need to face the things about this trip I am terrified of and come out on top. Every failure I encounter is something I learn from. I will learn a lot....
I can't come up with nearly that many reasons not to, unless I name every person I'm leaving behind that I probably haven't seen in months anyway; no offense to anyone who lives in my town.
I'll miss you guys. You know who you are.
-Nomi
P.S.
Day six. No Nicotine.
I have observed something.
I use my smoking habit as an excuse to myself to be nicer to people. By having my hazy, toxic security blanket buffering me from the world, the world gets buffered from me too.
Is that a good thing?
I've been scared of letting you people have it with both barrels but no one seems to mind it so far.
This warrants further investigation.
So, just so I don't leave anything out, I'm re-posting my previous journal with all data updated so nobody misses it.
So
Do I have your attention?
Good.
As of July 30, 2011, I will be relocating to Carlsbad, New Mexico, INDEFINITELY.
mitsozuka has engineered this bit of mayhem with me. Perhaps it will do some good.I'll try to be back for the holidays. If you want to see me sometime before Christmas, you need to do it sometime in the next two weeks.
So....
Why the Hell am I doing this?
1.) Mitso is my friend. I love him and I want him to be happy.
2.) I need a change of scenery, badly.
3.) A less toxic environment will help me to sort out my priorities, asess my goals, and evaluate my life direction.
4.) My mother will fare better without the financial strain I represent.
5.) I need to do something big and scary. I could compare this to the Terrasque.
6.) Clearly, what I am doing here is simply not working. I have tried and tried. I know exactly what needs to happen to make it work. This is not an admission of defeat, it is a tactical withdrawal for the purpose of allocating resources.
7.) I need to find out if I can run a business successfully.
8.) I need to find out if I can run myself successfully.
9.) I have an opportunity to do something I have always wanted to do and I'm going to take that opportunity: I'm going to try and build a vehicle.
http://www.vortexplans.com
10.) Ari. If I can sustain my basic needs under my own income and get my hands on a sustainable vehicle, I can finally do what I've wanted to do for four and a half years now.
11.) ME. Even if this whole thing explodes in my face (it won't, but parts of it will) I need to face the things about this trip I am terrified of and come out on top. Every failure I encounter is something I learn from. I will learn a lot....
I can't come up with nearly that many reasons not to, unless I name every person I'm leaving behind that I probably haven't seen in months anyway; no offense to anyone who lives in my town.
I'll miss you guys. You know who you are.
-Nomi
P.S.
Day six. No Nicotine.
I have observed something.
I use my smoking habit as an excuse to myself to be nicer to people. By having my hazy, toxic security blanket buffering me from the world, the world gets buffered from me too.
Is that a good thing?
I've been scared of letting you people have it with both barrels but no one seems to mind it so far.
This warrants further investigation.
HEY! EVERYONE WHO KNOWS ME!!!!! READ THIS!!!!!![[EDIT]]
General | Posted 14 years agoDo I have your attention?
Good.
As of July 23, 2011, I will be relocating to Carlsbad, New Mexico, INDEFINITELY.
mitsozuka has engineered this bit of mayhem with me. Perhaps it will do some good.
I'll try to be back for the holidays. If you want to see me sometime before Christmas, you need to do it before next Thursday.
I'll miss you guys. You know who you are.
-Nomi
Oh, Also:
I have a second sign of the impending apocalypse:
I've decided to give up smoking for a week. It's day five and I haven't killed anyone.
It's really weird not having my hazy, toxic security blanket.
It's incredibly liberating to know I can function without it.
So....
Why the Hell am I doing this?
1.) Mitso is my friend. I love him and I want him to be happy.
2.) I need a change of scenery, badly.
3.) A less toxic environment will help me to sort out my priorities, asess my goals, and evaluate my life direction.
4.) My mother will fare better without the financial strain I represent.
5.) I need to do something big and scary. I could compare this to the Terrasque.
6.) Clearly, what I am doing here is simply not working. I have tried and tried. I know exactly what needs to happen to make it work. This is not an admission of defeat, it is a tactical withdrawal for the purpose of allocating resources.
7.) I need to find out if I can run a business successfully.
8.) I need to find out if I can run myself successfully.
9.) I have an opportunity to do something I have always wanted to do and I'm going to take that opportunity: I'm going to try and build a vehicle.
10.) Ari. If I can sustain my basic needs under my own income and get my hands on a sustainable vehicle, I can finally do what I've wanted to do for four and a half years now.
11.) ME. Even if this whole thing explodes in my face (it won't, but parts of it will) I need to face the things about this trip I am terrified of and come out on top. Every failure I encounter is something I learn from. I will learn a lot....
I can't come up with nearly that many reasons not to, unless I name every person I'm leaving behind that I probably haven't seen in months anyway; no offense to anyone who lives in my town.
Good.
As of July 23, 2011, I will be relocating to Carlsbad, New Mexico, INDEFINITELY.
mitsozuka has engineered this bit of mayhem with me. Perhaps it will do some good.I'll try to be back for the holidays. If you want to see me sometime before Christmas, you need to do it before next Thursday.
I'll miss you guys. You know who you are.
-Nomi
Oh, Also:
I have a second sign of the impending apocalypse:
I've decided to give up smoking for a week. It's day five and I haven't killed anyone.
It's really weird not having my hazy, toxic security blanket.
It's incredibly liberating to know I can function without it.
So....
Why the Hell am I doing this?
1.) Mitso is my friend. I love him and I want him to be happy.
2.) I need a change of scenery, badly.
3.) A less toxic environment will help me to sort out my priorities, asess my goals, and evaluate my life direction.
4.) My mother will fare better without the financial strain I represent.
5.) I need to do something big and scary. I could compare this to the Terrasque.
6.) Clearly, what I am doing here is simply not working. I have tried and tried. I know exactly what needs to happen to make it work. This is not an admission of defeat, it is a tactical withdrawal for the purpose of allocating resources.
7.) I need to find out if I can run a business successfully.
8.) I need to find out if I can run myself successfully.
9.) I have an opportunity to do something I have always wanted to do and I'm going to take that opportunity: I'm going to try and build a vehicle.
10.) Ari. If I can sustain my basic needs under my own income and get my hands on a sustainable vehicle, I can finally do what I've wanted to do for four and a half years now.
11.) ME. Even if this whole thing explodes in my face (it won't, but parts of it will) I need to face the things about this trip I am terrified of and come out on top. Every failure I encounter is something I learn from. I will learn a lot....
I can't come up with nearly that many reasons not to, unless I name every person I'm leaving behind that I probably haven't seen in months anyway; no offense to anyone who lives in my town.
Sexy Meme thingy
General | Posted 14 years agoSwiped this from 
dizzyfoxx
1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
Are you serious? Yes, yes there is.
2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
All of the above, please.
3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Whichever lets me keep my back to the wall/ wherever my lover isn't. I'm a pretty big fella n.n;;
4. Do you masturbate?
Yes. Yes I do.
5. How often? Lately?
I'm averaging two or more times a day for the last few weeks.
6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
No, and I have been offered money to take 'em off.
7. Do you prefer showers or baths?
Showers, with partners. Best way to get all squeaky clean =3
8. Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath?
Yes, I have had a lot of shower sex. Never in a bath or hot tub. I've tried it in the ocean.
9. Do you watch/read pornography?
Yup.
10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
I will adapt to suit my partner's mood, unless I'm just really interested in doing something particular.
11. Do you love someone on your friends list?
Yeah.
12. Do you know all the people on your friends list?
I wish.
13. Would you choose love or money?
Love.
15. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?
It's happened.
16. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex?
Tough to say. You know I'm honestly not sure I've ever had really romantic sex that wasn't in a bed =P
17. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
The stairwell of a condominium, 8th floor, where I lost my cherry.
18. Have you ever been caught having sex?
Yup.
19. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Actually I don't think so; however I have danced with a professional 'male adult entertainer'... which was quite fun. Boy knew how to handle the leash I was wearing at the time....
20. Ever been to a bar just to get sex?
Dizzy, you said it best: I've never been that desperate.
21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club for sexual reasons?
Nope.
22. Ever been picked up in a bar?
No, but a few have tried.....
23. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
Oh, you mean that wasn't already the assumption? x3 Yes, I have, and with the opposite sex as well.
24. What's your sexuality?
Is it sentient? Can it have sex? Then at least one of its kind can probably interest me.
25. Had sex in a movie theater?
No actually. Did somethin' naughty at a concert once though....
26. Had sex in a bathroom?
Yes, several times. Always fun.
27. Have you ever had sex at work?
Sadly no, not that I haven't been propositioned before. Even if you count my home studio, I've never had a chance to get some on the job.
28. Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
You even need to ask? Yes, and i've introduced several of my friends to the virtues of 'adult' stores.
29. Bought something from an adult store?
Why else would I be there?
30. Do you own any sex toys?
I have a small collection.
31. If yes, how many and what are they?
Three floggers (two chainmaille, one large rubber strap), two small vibrators, one medium sized vibe, a large solid vibe and a large gel vibe (both dick shaped and purple), a set of anal beads, a set of butt plugs, A length of chain with a padlock, Collar, Leash, Rude Boy prostate massager, a 'slipknot', kit fox, tentacle and anthro tiger from Zeta Creations, a good sized blue jelly dong (very realistic detail), a hollow strap-on and a cerberus sheath (though technically a few of these are not at my home) and CURSE MY ROTTEN LUCK I'VE BEEN OTU OF LUBE FOR MONTHS!!!
>.<;;;
32. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?
Uh-huh
33. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
I haven't yet, and I better not ever...
34. Have you ever had phone sex?
Many a time...
35. Have you ever had cyber sex?
More often than phone sex.
36. Do you think oral sex constitutes as a form of intercourse?
I do think oral sex is a form of intercourse.
37. What's your favorite sexual position?
I like sideways, but I'll take what I can get n.n
38. What's your favorite sex act?
Anything I can do to a partner involving my tongue.
39. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?
Yes, I wanna say my current best is three other than myself.
40. Who do you think has the guts to repost this?
And answer honestly? I don't know, and i don't really care =p
dizzyfoxx1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
Are you serious? Yes, yes there is.
2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
All of the above, please.
3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Whichever lets me keep my back to the wall/ wherever my lover isn't. I'm a pretty big fella n.n;;
4. Do you masturbate?
Yes. Yes I do.
5. How often? Lately?
I'm averaging two or more times a day for the last few weeks.
6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
No, and I have been offered money to take 'em off.
7. Do you prefer showers or baths?
Showers, with partners. Best way to get all squeaky clean =3
8. Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath?
Yes, I have had a lot of shower sex. Never in a bath or hot tub. I've tried it in the ocean.
9. Do you watch/read pornography?
Yup.
10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
I will adapt to suit my partner's mood, unless I'm just really interested in doing something particular.
11. Do you love someone on your friends list?
Yeah.
12. Do you know all the people on your friends list?
I wish.
13. Would you choose love or money?
Love.
15. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?
It's happened.
16. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex?
Tough to say. You know I'm honestly not sure I've ever had really romantic sex that wasn't in a bed =P
17. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
The stairwell of a condominium, 8th floor, where I lost my cherry.
18. Have you ever been caught having sex?
Yup.
19. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Actually I don't think so; however I have danced with a professional 'male adult entertainer'... which was quite fun. Boy knew how to handle the leash I was wearing at the time....
20. Ever been to a bar just to get sex?
Dizzy, you said it best: I've never been that desperate.
21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club for sexual reasons?
Nope.
22. Ever been picked up in a bar?
No, but a few have tried.....
23. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
Oh, you mean that wasn't already the assumption? x3 Yes, I have, and with the opposite sex as well.
24. What's your sexuality?
Is it sentient? Can it have sex? Then at least one of its kind can probably interest me.
25. Had sex in a movie theater?
No actually. Did somethin' naughty at a concert once though....
26. Had sex in a bathroom?
Yes, several times. Always fun.
27. Have you ever had sex at work?
Sadly no, not that I haven't been propositioned before. Even if you count my home studio, I've never had a chance to get some on the job.
28. Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
You even need to ask? Yes, and i've introduced several of my friends to the virtues of 'adult' stores.
29. Bought something from an adult store?
Why else would I be there?
30. Do you own any sex toys?
I have a small collection.
31. If yes, how many and what are they?
Three floggers (two chainmaille, one large rubber strap), two small vibrators, one medium sized vibe, a large solid vibe and a large gel vibe (both dick shaped and purple), a set of anal beads, a set of butt plugs, A length of chain with a padlock, Collar, Leash, Rude Boy prostate massager, a 'slipknot', kit fox, tentacle and anthro tiger from Zeta Creations, a good sized blue jelly dong (very realistic detail), a hollow strap-on and a cerberus sheath (though technically a few of these are not at my home) and CURSE MY ROTTEN LUCK I'VE BEEN OTU OF LUBE FOR MONTHS!!!
>.<;;;
32. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?
Uh-huh
33. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
I haven't yet, and I better not ever...
34. Have you ever had phone sex?
Many a time...
35. Have you ever had cyber sex?
More often than phone sex.
36. Do you think oral sex constitutes as a form of intercourse?
I do think oral sex is a form of intercourse.
37. What's your favorite sexual position?
I like sideways, but I'll take what I can get n.n
38. What's your favorite sex act?
Anything I can do to a partner involving my tongue.
39. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?
Yes, I wanna say my current best is three other than myself.
40. Who do you think has the guts to repost this?
And answer honestly? I don't know, and i don't really care =p
101 questions I should be able to let Nominus answer
General | Posted 14 years agoI got this from 
zooni
It consists of 101 questions I should be able to answer about any character of mine. But since Nominus is my primary, I think I'll let him answer them, hm?
1. What is your full name? Do you have a nickname?
I have no name. For the sake of convenience, I usually go by a moniker that means 'No Name' or something the like; Nominus Expers or 'Nomi' are the usuals, but there are others.
2. How old are you? When is your birthday?
I am some twelver thousand years of age, and my 'birthday' is August the 23rd by today's calendar.
3. Where were you born? Where do you live now? Are you patriotic?
I was born in an arcane research facility in one of the cities belonging to the vast and now defunct empire collectively called 'Atlantis' today. I believe I was constructed somewhere in the Antarctic. I now reside wherever I wish. I am not patriotic, except as a citizen of the Earth.
4. Who are/were your parents? (Names, occupations, personalities, etc.)
My father I know only as Malachi, and my mother was Lucrecia. They were both scientists in a number of disciplines; Physics, biophysics, genetics, nanorobotics, and biomedical engineering for Father; Psychology, parapsychology, physics, Quantum physics, metaphysics, and philosophy for mother.
5. Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?
I have seven siblings that I know about, though to be blunt I have lost touch with all but a few; My eldest brother, my younger sisters, and my older sister. My brother is brash, stubborn, strong willed and impulsive, perhaps even reckless, but charming. My sisters are, by order of age, pensive, devious, and mischeivous for the elder, and the most apt descriptor for the younger is naive, innocent, and extremely forceful.
6. What is your occupation?
I am an artist and student of a number of disciplines.
7. How tall are you? How much do you weigh?
On average, 6'9", 300kg
8. What color is your hair? What color are your eyes?
My hair is silver to gray, my eyes are mirrored with black sclera.
9. What is your race?
I am Khir.
10. To which social class do you belong?
I don't believe in social stratification. I was born high, I have fallen since.
11. Do you consider yourself to be attractive? Do others?
I am a monster. That I am often considered extremely attractive is a mystery to me.
12. What is your style of dress?
It varies depending on what is appropriate, but usually my dress is in accordance with function; blue jeans, a black t-shirt, and comfortable shoes if I wear any at all. I have a flair for the industrial and a love of the color black, and of simple robes, when the occasion calls. I am also very comfortable in the nude, if it will not offend.
13. Do you have any scars? Tattoos? Birthmarks? Other unique physical features?
My Entire body is a unique physical feature; I'm a shapeshifter. However, in my normal appearance, I have a number of scars, notably above my left eye, and at the base of each wing. My teeth and claws are also fairly unconventional, appearing to be metallic, and i wear a forked goatee.
14. Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?
I do not respond well to something in stainless varieties of steel, and intense quantities of ceratin kinds of radiation could potentially disable me, but it would take a high density fission/fusion reaction taking place in close proximity to my body to harm me; even then, you'd only be affecting my body. <i> I </i> have no weaknesses that could destroy me as far as I am aware.
15. Are you right- or left-handed?
Right handed.
16. What does your voice sound like?
It varies, depending on my mood. It raises at times, but normally is a soft, even pitch with a double timbre; a soft whisper behind a golden tenor.
17. What kind of vocabulary do you use?
My vocabulary is expansive.
18. List three quirks or other defining characteristics.
I am patient, understanding, and I love deeply.
19. How often do you bathe? Do you wear perfumes?
I bathe as often as I remember to do so. I usually smell of smoke.
20. What kind of facial expression do you commonly wear (dour glare, wry smile, etc)?
My facial expression is best described as unreadable. I am only expressive at all if i have a reason to be.
21. Do you use body language? How?
I gesture, at times, for emphasis. I also tilt my head, a feline trait.
22. Do you have a commonly used saying?
I have a collection; I am fond of little proverbs, axioms and adages.
Childhood
23. What is your earliest memory?
I remember coming into existence and growing a body for myself to inhabit. Is that early enough for you?
24. How much schooling have you had? Did you enjoy it?
I am self-taught, though I have studied with and learned from many individuals
25. Where did you learn most of your knowledge and skill?
I couldn't possibly narrow it down.
26. How would you describe your childhood in general?
Turbulent.
27. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
I had no understanding of the prospect of a single occupation, I have only ever wished to express myself and improve other's lives.
28. When and with whom was your first kiss?
Some three or four hundred years after my birth, I was briefly entangled with a being name Lucifer. He was my first lover, until i realized his heart was so posessed by pride and jealousy that he could never give it me. Do not look so surprised; I am very old, and powerful, and have not always lived on this one plane of existence; and he, too, is old, and powerful, and has had many consorts before me and many since.
29. Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?
*scoffs* Oh, hardly. If it was not Lucifer, I have no memory of whom I gave it to.
30. Do you have a notorious or celebrated ancestor? Does that affect you?
I have no ancestors; I am among the first of my kind. My creators are of some note in certain circles, however, but it doesn't affect me much.
31. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?
The last twenty six years.
32. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Not destroying myself before now.
33. What is your greatest regret?
I have no regrets, merely wistful might-have-beens....
34. What is the most embarrassing or shameful thing ever to happen to you?
I was separated forcefully from my body. It could be that, or when father tore my wings off and trapped me on earth.
35. Do you have any secrets? If so, what are they?
I do not have any secrets, merely questions no one thinks to ask.
36. What is the most evil thing you have ever done?
The most evil thing.... It would be hard to choose one from among the millions....
37. When was the time you were the most frightened?
When my dearest friend of thouands of years was killed; I gave him my life, thinking mine would end. I was afraid.... perhaps that is why i still live. But he lives on, literally as a part of me.
38. Have you ever traveled outside of your country? If so, to where?
Everywhere that now exists is outside of my country.
39. What is your alignment?
... I actively defy your attempts to classify me.
40. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?
I am a realist who believes in hope; that probably makes me an optimist.
41. Do you believe in a god? If so, which one and why?
I believe in many gods, or at least they are gods by human standards. Why not believe in what is real? But what I consider a God is far and above what you're thinking of when you use the word.... and I do believe in that one Source.
. Do you believe in an afterlife?
The more important question is, 'Do I believe that life ends with a physical body?' and the answer is No, I do not believe that.
43. What is your greatest fear?
All of my fears are irrational, I prefer not to discuss them. But if you insist, I am plagued by self-doubt.
44. What makes you angry? Sad? Happy? Why?
Many things anger me, and many of the same things make me sad. There is very little joy in my life, but all the joy I feel is found in connecting with something other than myself. What greater joy could there be?
45. Do you think people are basically good or basically evil?
I think people are basically people.
46. What are your views on politics? Religion? Sex?
Politics are necessary for a society to function, by their very definition.
Religion is a form of politic. Both are mechanisms by which a small body of people govern (or attempt to govern) the behavior of a larger group of people. I believe that humans are only now realizing that they are, and always have been, wrongly implementing both.
Religion, if it is not a form of political control, is a wonderful thing: it is good to believe in something.
Sex is not the enemy. I believe in sex. I am very, very fond of sex, it is a pleasure that should never be abused.
47. What are your views on gambling, lying, theft, and killing?
I avoid them whenever I can, but I am not about any of them.
48. How far will you go to defend your beliefs?
My beliefs do not require that I defend them.
49. How much do you value money?
I value it based on what it's for; it is a necessary evil in this time that I have no normal need for.
50. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?
The overtaking of one's free will, the suppression of one's highest nature.
51. Do you believe in self-sacrifice for the greater good?
Yes.
52. Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?
Yes.
53. Are you superstitious?
Somewhat ;3
54. How much do you respect the beliefs and opinions of others?
I encourage them. I also encourage the questioning of beliefs. They should be challenged constantly.
55. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings?
How much honesty can you handle?
56. Do you have any biases or prejudices?
Yes, but I try not to.
57. Who is the most important person in your life, and why?
Ari is presently the most important person in my life.
58. Who is the person you respect the most? Despise the most? Why?
I pretty much respect everyone equally.... And I think i've grown past despising people. I may despise the things they do.... but people are largely a product of their environs. If the environment they develop in is shitty, the people are usually similar.
59. Do you have a significant other? Who?
My partner, Ari.
60. Do you have a lot of friends? Who is your best friend?
I have a lot of friends. I wouldn't begin to know how to say which was the 'best' though.
61. How do you relate to members of the same race? Class? Sex?
There are so few of us... I have only recently met one, and heard news of the other, and we get along famously. I get along well with individuals from many classes. I get along well with members of any gender.
62. How do you relate to members of a different race? Class? Sex?
I may be a little more confrontational than I mean to be.
63. Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.
Many a time, more than I care to regale you with.
64. What do you look for in a potential lover?
A kindred spirit, in some way.
65. How close are you to your family?
My family doesn't even know me anymore.
66. Do you want a marriage, family, and/or children?
I would love to marry again; I haven't had a real family in so long.... and my children have been grown since the Dark Ages. I recently got in touch with my daughter again, and she has children of her own now.... It makes me envious, somewhat.
67. Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?
I avoid conflict. Why use aggression when discussion will suffice? I'm a reasonable creature, after all.
68. Are you a listener or a talker?
I fill both roles happily; but I can become frustrated if my partner in conversation will not let me have my say on a subject about which I have much to contribute.
69. How long does it usually take for you to trust others?
It depends entirely on the individual. Some people I will never, ever trust. Others I can trust in mere moments.
70. Do you hold grudges?
I try not to. I've lived much too long to see the value in hanging on to old slights and battle scars, I'd rather forgive and move on; but I will hold a misdeed against someone until it is made right, or apologized for.
71. Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?
People tend to look to me for direction, for guidance, but I do not like the responsibility of leadership. I will take it on, if I must, but I would rather solve the problem myself, or show others the solution so that they can impliment it. Cooperation is.... difficult... for me.
72. Do you like interacting with large groups of people?
No. I am usually intimidated by groups. There are a few exceptions, but those prove the rule more than they break it. These new dance clubs, in particular, are nice at times, and I don't mind gatherings of friends or like-minded individuals for an exchange of ideas and for the sake of company. But this 'Wal Mart' thing, especially on 'Black Friday'.... i'm not sure any bargain is worth that.... c.c;;
73. How well do you express yourself?
I usually do a fine job, given half a chance. I'm so accustomed to having to put up a front, though.... I really don't know sometimes if I am being understood at all, or if I even can be.
74. How quickly do you judge others?
I try to withhold judgement until I have as much evidence as possible to support a conclusion. That being said, I am known to call them as I see them, and I can be extremely perceptive.
75. Do you care what others think of you?
Yes and no. I want to be thought well of, but no one's thinking highly of me has yet managed to change my opinion of myself in any real way....
76. Do you have any enemies? How or why are they your enemy?
I am sure I have enemies; I know my Father qualifies as such. I know that, in terms of my beliefs and my ideals, I have many enemies; but I don't know any of them personally yet, and I'm fine with that state of affairs, thank you. If I have an enemy, it is because one of us is ignorant of the other's reasoning, or of reason at all; And the ideals of tyranny and oppression are always despicable to me, as are those who uphold them in full consciousness of their actions. To them, I am eternally hostile.
Personal Taste and Opinions
77. What is your favorite pastime? Color? Food? Possession?
My favorite passtime is learning. Study, conversation, and trying new things. My favorite color.... oh, such a difficult question. I am fond of black raiment, silver jewelry, red cars and green eyes, and all the colors of smoke and fire.... grays and soft blues.... *sighs* How can an artist pick a favorite, honestly?
I don't know that it qualifies as food to most of you, but the willingly devoted energy of another being is delicious to me. Their emotions, their attention, the energy released in the satiation of their desire, and the all-too-brief delicacy that accompanies the male orgasm. I am tremendously fond of smoking, as well; which is a kind of consumption. But I hardly think this is what you want to know. I enjoy too many foods to describe a favorite. I am fond of chinese food, of sushi and of vegetable tempura. I adore shrimp. I am overly fond of cookies. I love carrot cake, and I am a long-time lover of southern cuisine and mediteranean food, and a more recent lover of vegan fare. I also enjoy many beverages, herbal teas, red wines, and coffee... such a drink, coffee, and such a perfect mate for a cigarette. So many wonderful ways to nourish oneself, humanity is truly ingenious... to think i went for centuries consuming nothing but the blood of those who hunt humankind!
I don't know if I have a single favorite posession. I am very fond of all of my posessions; having gathered fortunes only to lose them periodically has turned me into quite a hoarder I'm afraid. I identify with inanimate objects in ways many would not understand; and for much of my time, I have been more capable of identifying with a treasured doll or trinket than with another living soul.
78. What are your preferences in arts and/or entertainment?
I am extremely fond of cinema. Such a fantastic invention, the motion picture.... television is, by comparison, a tragic waste of potential in my opinion, but it has produced a few diamonds amidst the coal.
I also enjoy plays, particularly musicals, and have seen a few in my time. I love watching dance, and fire dancing is among my favorites. I have never managed to learn it, but I think i may try soon. I am very fond of fire....
I also enjoy painting, both as a painter and as a lover of art. I think abstracts are probably my favorites; that emotion can be conveyed by naught but form and color is amazing to me, though my own attempts are pitiful, i fear.
I am a lover of music, and I could probably find a specimen of every modern genre that I like, if I were to take the time. No form of ambience so conducts a mood as music does.
I do love audio-books, too. Being read to while I paint is an extreme pleasure, and it is so easy to indulge that taste now. I doubt if I would read nearly so many delightful fictions if it were not for the ability to have someone, many times the author themselves, read their stories to me.
I also love role-playing games. It is wonderful to create a character and take them on imaginary adventures. It's a childish joy that I have not indulged in what feels like an eternity.
79. Do you smoke, drink, go whoring, or use drugs? Why or why not?.
I do smoke, and I will smoke anything; hookah, pipe, cigar, cigarette; tobacco or other herbs; I have even tried a new device called a vaporizer. I quite enjoyed it. I drink on special occasions. I anjoy the use of drugs occasionally. I don't have to 'go whoring' to get my tail, thank you... I have plenty of willing partners that I trust and care for if I get in the mood, but I do enjoy new experiences ;3
80. How do you spend a typical Saturday night?
I spend my saturdays like I spend my other days, typically.
81. What is your most cherished fantasy?
.... Utopia. For all. Heaven on Earth, for everyone; or at the very least, for a small community I one day hope to found.
82. How long is your attention span?
You could measure it in days if I am interested enough; mere seconds if the subject is distasteful to me.
83. Do you laugh a lot? What do you find funny?
I do laugh often; I feel bad for those who do not.
84. Is there anything that shocks or offends you? If so, what?
There is very little that could shock me; I have not been offended in so long, I'm not sure exactly what would do it anymore, aside from things I'm sure I've already mentioned.
85. How do you deal with stress?
I become stressed. I don't handle stress very well.... but then again, what stresses me are problems I can't se the solution to.
86. How much athletic ability do you have? Artistic?
I am a skilled martial artist, and I do love to swim. I am also a proficient flyer, and I enjoy lifting weights. I am an artist of moderate skill.
7. Do you like animals? Do you like children?
Yes, to both. They are a joy; even in spite of their shortcomings, if one is patient enough. My daughter actually loves to have me watch my granddaughter, because I have such longsuffering patience with her endless questioning. She's a bright child, and she will be a powerful Khir one day.
I will say, though, that children and animals are often not so fond of me. To one, I am a scary monster, and to the other I am a large predator. It shames me to admit that neither is without its foundation....
88. Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?
I wish I were more spontaneous.... it simply does not occur to me very often. I am typically very, very meticulous.
89. What are your pet peeves?
Short attention spans, not being treated with respect. It would seem foolish not to be respectful to a creature who is older than much which makes up your culture and who could tear you into small pieces with relative ease.... but it amazes me how many people do so.
Self-Image
90. What is your greatest strength as a person? Weakness?
My greatest strength is probably my tenacity. My greatest weakness is my doubts.
91. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
If I could change one thing, I would love to learn to be a little less cautious....
92. Are you generally introverted or extroverted?
I'm very introverted.
93. Do you like yourself?
Not always.
94. Do you have a daily routine? How do you feel if your day is interrupted?
I don't really have a routine, but I do not appreciate unexpected intrusions. It would serve me well to develop a routine.....
95. What goal do you most want to accomplish in the next six months? Your lifetime?
To break out of this wretched doldrum, and to eventually surround myself with the people I care about and provide for their needs, so that they can maximize their potential without being concerned for their survival.
96. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 20 years?
The future is not set; and while I could make some predictions, I'd really rather be surprised ;3
97. If you could choose, how would you want to die?
I would like to peacefully transcend the need for a physical body and elevate myself to a higher plane of existence when I am no longer needed on this one.... I can never truly 'die', although this shell which I occupy can do so.
98. What is the one thing you would like to be remembered for after your death?
I would like to be remembered for the lives I have touched.
99. What three words would you use to best describe your personality?
I am Myself.
100. What three words would others probably use to describe you?
'Nomi's Like That', in response to any observation about my strangeness.
101. Why are you risking your life to adventure?
My life is hardly at risk; but adventure, I think, might be worth risking one's life for. I am hardly even living anymore, merely existing.... But I would relish the chance at doing something new to breathe some life back into this rusty body...
zooniIt consists of 101 questions I should be able to answer about any character of mine. But since Nominus is my primary, I think I'll let him answer them, hm?
1. What is your full name? Do you have a nickname?
I have no name. For the sake of convenience, I usually go by a moniker that means 'No Name' or something the like; Nominus Expers or 'Nomi' are the usuals, but there are others.
2. How old are you? When is your birthday?
I am some twelver thousand years of age, and my 'birthday' is August the 23rd by today's calendar.
3. Where were you born? Where do you live now? Are you patriotic?
I was born in an arcane research facility in one of the cities belonging to the vast and now defunct empire collectively called 'Atlantis' today. I believe I was constructed somewhere in the Antarctic. I now reside wherever I wish. I am not patriotic, except as a citizen of the Earth.
4. Who are/were your parents? (Names, occupations, personalities, etc.)
My father I know only as Malachi, and my mother was Lucrecia. They were both scientists in a number of disciplines; Physics, biophysics, genetics, nanorobotics, and biomedical engineering for Father; Psychology, parapsychology, physics, Quantum physics, metaphysics, and philosophy for mother.
5. Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?
I have seven siblings that I know about, though to be blunt I have lost touch with all but a few; My eldest brother, my younger sisters, and my older sister. My brother is brash, stubborn, strong willed and impulsive, perhaps even reckless, but charming. My sisters are, by order of age, pensive, devious, and mischeivous for the elder, and the most apt descriptor for the younger is naive, innocent, and extremely forceful.
6. What is your occupation?
I am an artist and student of a number of disciplines.
7. How tall are you? How much do you weigh?
On average, 6'9", 300kg
8. What color is your hair? What color are your eyes?
My hair is silver to gray, my eyes are mirrored with black sclera.
9. What is your race?
I am Khir.
10. To which social class do you belong?
I don't believe in social stratification. I was born high, I have fallen since.
11. Do you consider yourself to be attractive? Do others?
I am a monster. That I am often considered extremely attractive is a mystery to me.
12. What is your style of dress?
It varies depending on what is appropriate, but usually my dress is in accordance with function; blue jeans, a black t-shirt, and comfortable shoes if I wear any at all. I have a flair for the industrial and a love of the color black, and of simple robes, when the occasion calls. I am also very comfortable in the nude, if it will not offend.
13. Do you have any scars? Tattoos? Birthmarks? Other unique physical features?
My Entire body is a unique physical feature; I'm a shapeshifter. However, in my normal appearance, I have a number of scars, notably above my left eye, and at the base of each wing. My teeth and claws are also fairly unconventional, appearing to be metallic, and i wear a forked goatee.
14. Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?
I do not respond well to something in stainless varieties of steel, and intense quantities of ceratin kinds of radiation could potentially disable me, but it would take a high density fission/fusion reaction taking place in close proximity to my body to harm me; even then, you'd only be affecting my body. <i> I </i> have no weaknesses that could destroy me as far as I am aware.
15. Are you right- or left-handed?
Right handed.
16. What does your voice sound like?
It varies, depending on my mood. It raises at times, but normally is a soft, even pitch with a double timbre; a soft whisper behind a golden tenor.
17. What kind of vocabulary do you use?
My vocabulary is expansive.
18. List three quirks or other defining characteristics.
I am patient, understanding, and I love deeply.
19. How often do you bathe? Do you wear perfumes?
I bathe as often as I remember to do so. I usually smell of smoke.
20. What kind of facial expression do you commonly wear (dour glare, wry smile, etc)?
My facial expression is best described as unreadable. I am only expressive at all if i have a reason to be.
21. Do you use body language? How?
I gesture, at times, for emphasis. I also tilt my head, a feline trait.
22. Do you have a commonly used saying?
I have a collection; I am fond of little proverbs, axioms and adages.
Childhood
23. What is your earliest memory?
I remember coming into existence and growing a body for myself to inhabit. Is that early enough for you?
24. How much schooling have you had? Did you enjoy it?
I am self-taught, though I have studied with and learned from many individuals
25. Where did you learn most of your knowledge and skill?
I couldn't possibly narrow it down.
26. How would you describe your childhood in general?
Turbulent.
27. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
I had no understanding of the prospect of a single occupation, I have only ever wished to express myself and improve other's lives.
28. When and with whom was your first kiss?
Some three or four hundred years after my birth, I was briefly entangled with a being name Lucifer. He was my first lover, until i realized his heart was so posessed by pride and jealousy that he could never give it me. Do not look so surprised; I am very old, and powerful, and have not always lived on this one plane of existence; and he, too, is old, and powerful, and has had many consorts before me and many since.
29. Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?
*scoffs* Oh, hardly. If it was not Lucifer, I have no memory of whom I gave it to.
30. Do you have a notorious or celebrated ancestor? Does that affect you?
I have no ancestors; I am among the first of my kind. My creators are of some note in certain circles, however, but it doesn't affect me much.
31. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?
The last twenty six years.
32. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Not destroying myself before now.
33. What is your greatest regret?
I have no regrets, merely wistful might-have-beens....
34. What is the most embarrassing or shameful thing ever to happen to you?
I was separated forcefully from my body. It could be that, or when father tore my wings off and trapped me on earth.
35. Do you have any secrets? If so, what are they?
I do not have any secrets, merely questions no one thinks to ask.
36. What is the most evil thing you have ever done?
The most evil thing.... It would be hard to choose one from among the millions....
37. When was the time you were the most frightened?
When my dearest friend of thouands of years was killed; I gave him my life, thinking mine would end. I was afraid.... perhaps that is why i still live. But he lives on, literally as a part of me.
38. Have you ever traveled outside of your country? If so, to where?
Everywhere that now exists is outside of my country.
39. What is your alignment?
... I actively defy your attempts to classify me.
40. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?
I am a realist who believes in hope; that probably makes me an optimist.
41. Do you believe in a god? If so, which one and why?
I believe in many gods, or at least they are gods by human standards. Why not believe in what is real? But what I consider a God is far and above what you're thinking of when you use the word.... and I do believe in that one Source.
. Do you believe in an afterlife?
The more important question is, 'Do I believe that life ends with a physical body?' and the answer is No, I do not believe that.
43. What is your greatest fear?
All of my fears are irrational, I prefer not to discuss them. But if you insist, I am plagued by self-doubt.
44. What makes you angry? Sad? Happy? Why?
Many things anger me, and many of the same things make me sad. There is very little joy in my life, but all the joy I feel is found in connecting with something other than myself. What greater joy could there be?
45. Do you think people are basically good or basically evil?
I think people are basically people.
46. What are your views on politics? Religion? Sex?
Politics are necessary for a society to function, by their very definition.
Religion is a form of politic. Both are mechanisms by which a small body of people govern (or attempt to govern) the behavior of a larger group of people. I believe that humans are only now realizing that they are, and always have been, wrongly implementing both.
Religion, if it is not a form of political control, is a wonderful thing: it is good to believe in something.
Sex is not the enemy. I believe in sex. I am very, very fond of sex, it is a pleasure that should never be abused.
47. What are your views on gambling, lying, theft, and killing?
I avoid them whenever I can, but I am not about any of them.
48. How far will you go to defend your beliefs?
My beliefs do not require that I defend them.
49. How much do you value money?
I value it based on what it's for; it is a necessary evil in this time that I have no normal need for.
50. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?
The overtaking of one's free will, the suppression of one's highest nature.
51. Do you believe in self-sacrifice for the greater good?
Yes.
52. Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?
Yes.
53. Are you superstitious?
Somewhat ;3
54. How much do you respect the beliefs and opinions of others?
I encourage them. I also encourage the questioning of beliefs. They should be challenged constantly.
55. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings?
How much honesty can you handle?
56. Do you have any biases or prejudices?
Yes, but I try not to.
57. Who is the most important person in your life, and why?
Ari is presently the most important person in my life.
58. Who is the person you respect the most? Despise the most? Why?
I pretty much respect everyone equally.... And I think i've grown past despising people. I may despise the things they do.... but people are largely a product of their environs. If the environment they develop in is shitty, the people are usually similar.
59. Do you have a significant other? Who?
My partner, Ari.
60. Do you have a lot of friends? Who is your best friend?
I have a lot of friends. I wouldn't begin to know how to say which was the 'best' though.
61. How do you relate to members of the same race? Class? Sex?
There are so few of us... I have only recently met one, and heard news of the other, and we get along famously. I get along well with individuals from many classes. I get along well with members of any gender.
62. How do you relate to members of a different race? Class? Sex?
I may be a little more confrontational than I mean to be.
63. Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.
Many a time, more than I care to regale you with.
64. What do you look for in a potential lover?
A kindred spirit, in some way.
65. How close are you to your family?
My family doesn't even know me anymore.
66. Do you want a marriage, family, and/or children?
I would love to marry again; I haven't had a real family in so long.... and my children have been grown since the Dark Ages. I recently got in touch with my daughter again, and she has children of her own now.... It makes me envious, somewhat.
67. Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?
I avoid conflict. Why use aggression when discussion will suffice? I'm a reasonable creature, after all.
68. Are you a listener or a talker?
I fill both roles happily; but I can become frustrated if my partner in conversation will not let me have my say on a subject about which I have much to contribute.
69. How long does it usually take for you to trust others?
It depends entirely on the individual. Some people I will never, ever trust. Others I can trust in mere moments.
70. Do you hold grudges?
I try not to. I've lived much too long to see the value in hanging on to old slights and battle scars, I'd rather forgive and move on; but I will hold a misdeed against someone until it is made right, or apologized for.
71. Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?
People tend to look to me for direction, for guidance, but I do not like the responsibility of leadership. I will take it on, if I must, but I would rather solve the problem myself, or show others the solution so that they can impliment it. Cooperation is.... difficult... for me.
72. Do you like interacting with large groups of people?
No. I am usually intimidated by groups. There are a few exceptions, but those prove the rule more than they break it. These new dance clubs, in particular, are nice at times, and I don't mind gatherings of friends or like-minded individuals for an exchange of ideas and for the sake of company. But this 'Wal Mart' thing, especially on 'Black Friday'.... i'm not sure any bargain is worth that.... c.c;;
73. How well do you express yourself?
I usually do a fine job, given half a chance. I'm so accustomed to having to put up a front, though.... I really don't know sometimes if I am being understood at all, or if I even can be.
74. How quickly do you judge others?
I try to withhold judgement until I have as much evidence as possible to support a conclusion. That being said, I am known to call them as I see them, and I can be extremely perceptive.
75. Do you care what others think of you?
Yes and no. I want to be thought well of, but no one's thinking highly of me has yet managed to change my opinion of myself in any real way....
76. Do you have any enemies? How or why are they your enemy?
I am sure I have enemies; I know my Father qualifies as such. I know that, in terms of my beliefs and my ideals, I have many enemies; but I don't know any of them personally yet, and I'm fine with that state of affairs, thank you. If I have an enemy, it is because one of us is ignorant of the other's reasoning, or of reason at all; And the ideals of tyranny and oppression are always despicable to me, as are those who uphold them in full consciousness of their actions. To them, I am eternally hostile.
Personal Taste and Opinions
77. What is your favorite pastime? Color? Food? Possession?
My favorite passtime is learning. Study, conversation, and trying new things. My favorite color.... oh, such a difficult question. I am fond of black raiment, silver jewelry, red cars and green eyes, and all the colors of smoke and fire.... grays and soft blues.... *sighs* How can an artist pick a favorite, honestly?
I don't know that it qualifies as food to most of you, but the willingly devoted energy of another being is delicious to me. Their emotions, their attention, the energy released in the satiation of their desire, and the all-too-brief delicacy that accompanies the male orgasm. I am tremendously fond of smoking, as well; which is a kind of consumption. But I hardly think this is what you want to know. I enjoy too many foods to describe a favorite. I am fond of chinese food, of sushi and of vegetable tempura. I adore shrimp. I am overly fond of cookies. I love carrot cake, and I am a long-time lover of southern cuisine and mediteranean food, and a more recent lover of vegan fare. I also enjoy many beverages, herbal teas, red wines, and coffee... such a drink, coffee, and such a perfect mate for a cigarette. So many wonderful ways to nourish oneself, humanity is truly ingenious... to think i went for centuries consuming nothing but the blood of those who hunt humankind!
I don't know if I have a single favorite posession. I am very fond of all of my posessions; having gathered fortunes only to lose them periodically has turned me into quite a hoarder I'm afraid. I identify with inanimate objects in ways many would not understand; and for much of my time, I have been more capable of identifying with a treasured doll or trinket than with another living soul.
78. What are your preferences in arts and/or entertainment?
I am extremely fond of cinema. Such a fantastic invention, the motion picture.... television is, by comparison, a tragic waste of potential in my opinion, but it has produced a few diamonds amidst the coal.
I also enjoy plays, particularly musicals, and have seen a few in my time. I love watching dance, and fire dancing is among my favorites. I have never managed to learn it, but I think i may try soon. I am very fond of fire....
I also enjoy painting, both as a painter and as a lover of art. I think abstracts are probably my favorites; that emotion can be conveyed by naught but form and color is amazing to me, though my own attempts are pitiful, i fear.
I am a lover of music, and I could probably find a specimen of every modern genre that I like, if I were to take the time. No form of ambience so conducts a mood as music does.
I do love audio-books, too. Being read to while I paint is an extreme pleasure, and it is so easy to indulge that taste now. I doubt if I would read nearly so many delightful fictions if it were not for the ability to have someone, many times the author themselves, read their stories to me.
I also love role-playing games. It is wonderful to create a character and take them on imaginary adventures. It's a childish joy that I have not indulged in what feels like an eternity.
79. Do you smoke, drink, go whoring, or use drugs? Why or why not?.
I do smoke, and I will smoke anything; hookah, pipe, cigar, cigarette; tobacco or other herbs; I have even tried a new device called a vaporizer. I quite enjoyed it. I drink on special occasions. I anjoy the use of drugs occasionally. I don't have to 'go whoring' to get my tail, thank you... I have plenty of willing partners that I trust and care for if I get in the mood, but I do enjoy new experiences ;3
80. How do you spend a typical Saturday night?
I spend my saturdays like I spend my other days, typically.
81. What is your most cherished fantasy?
.... Utopia. For all. Heaven on Earth, for everyone; or at the very least, for a small community I one day hope to found.
82. How long is your attention span?
You could measure it in days if I am interested enough; mere seconds if the subject is distasteful to me.
83. Do you laugh a lot? What do you find funny?
I do laugh often; I feel bad for those who do not.
84. Is there anything that shocks or offends you? If so, what?
There is very little that could shock me; I have not been offended in so long, I'm not sure exactly what would do it anymore, aside from things I'm sure I've already mentioned.
85. How do you deal with stress?
I become stressed. I don't handle stress very well.... but then again, what stresses me are problems I can't se the solution to.
86. How much athletic ability do you have? Artistic?
I am a skilled martial artist, and I do love to swim. I am also a proficient flyer, and I enjoy lifting weights. I am an artist of moderate skill.
7. Do you like animals? Do you like children?
Yes, to both. They are a joy; even in spite of their shortcomings, if one is patient enough. My daughter actually loves to have me watch my granddaughter, because I have such longsuffering patience with her endless questioning. She's a bright child, and she will be a powerful Khir one day.
I will say, though, that children and animals are often not so fond of me. To one, I am a scary monster, and to the other I am a large predator. It shames me to admit that neither is without its foundation....
88. Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?
I wish I were more spontaneous.... it simply does not occur to me very often. I am typically very, very meticulous.
89. What are your pet peeves?
Short attention spans, not being treated with respect. It would seem foolish not to be respectful to a creature who is older than much which makes up your culture and who could tear you into small pieces with relative ease.... but it amazes me how many people do so.
Self-Image
90. What is your greatest strength as a person? Weakness?
My greatest strength is probably my tenacity. My greatest weakness is my doubts.
91. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
If I could change one thing, I would love to learn to be a little less cautious....
92. Are you generally introverted or extroverted?
I'm very introverted.
93. Do you like yourself?
Not always.
94. Do you have a daily routine? How do you feel if your day is interrupted?
I don't really have a routine, but I do not appreciate unexpected intrusions. It would serve me well to develop a routine.....
95. What goal do you most want to accomplish in the next six months? Your lifetime?
To break out of this wretched doldrum, and to eventually surround myself with the people I care about and provide for their needs, so that they can maximize their potential without being concerned for their survival.
96. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 20 years?
The future is not set; and while I could make some predictions, I'd really rather be surprised ;3
97. If you could choose, how would you want to die?
I would like to peacefully transcend the need for a physical body and elevate myself to a higher plane of existence when I am no longer needed on this one.... I can never truly 'die', although this shell which I occupy can do so.
98. What is the one thing you would like to be remembered for after your death?
I would like to be remembered for the lives I have touched.
99. What three words would you use to best describe your personality?
I am Myself.
100. What three words would others probably use to describe you?
'Nomi's Like That', in response to any observation about my strangeness.
101. Why are you risking your life to adventure?
My life is hardly at risk; but adventure, I think, might be worth risking one's life for. I am hardly even living anymore, merely existing.... But I would relish the chance at doing something new to breathe some life back into this rusty body...
From now on, you can’t tell lies- MEME
General | Posted 14 years agoFrom now on, you can’t tell lies, are you ready?
Very
Think back eight months ago, were you single?
Nope
What do you carry with you at all times?
My first chainmaille bracelet
Are you a cuddler?
Hell yes.
What would I find if I looked UNDER your bed?
I honestly don't know; other than dirty socks, I suspect you'd find wrappers, paper, other household debris, and probably one or two things I've been looking for for months c.c
Who was the last person of the opposite sex you text messaged?
My mother.
How are you feeling?
Very chill, in spite of being on my third cup of coffee.
Is something wrong right now?
Yes. There are many, many things wrong, Right Now.
Are you mad at someone?
Not in any overt way, but I could be harboring animosity toward someone. I'm in a good mood, so I'm not really looking for it.
How much do looks matter to you in a guy/girl?
If you take care of yourself, or at least your hygeine, then everything else is details. Although if you're horribly disfigured I'll try not to stare; it's not shock so much as morbid fascination, I promise.
What's the greatest thing that happened to you today?
That is a toss-up.... between something motivational that improved my mood, someone from Iceland saying that I'm the best thing in the U.S. that he's aware of and a canadian friend agreeing with him, and having a friend over.
How many TRUE best friends do you have?
Oh I don't want to play favorites, but I have a very tight-knit circle of half a dozen people I'd call my best friends, and even them I get sick of after a while.
Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow?
Definitely.
How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over?
Okay, since we're obviously looking at romantic attachments here, and I'm gay, We're going to adjust this a little. I've felt the need to release emotion for three people I've ever been involved with. However, I haven't shed a single tear in grief since I was about thirteen. I'm not proud of this, and I've come close several times, but normally what most people call crying, I do a little differently. I have to translate emotional pain or distress into a tangible sensation in order to deal with it, and I have several ways of doing this. Not all of them are really psychologically healthy.
Where is your number one friend on your friends list?
Uhhhh... I'm not sure I understand the question. I don't use any social networking sites with an enumerated friends list, but number one would be my man,
pantherapacific
Do you have anyone crushing on you?
Yes, and that's pretty normal for me actually. Not to sound too self-centered but I'd actually be more worried if I didn't.
When was the last time you talked to your most recent ex?
Thanksgiving of 2010.
Do you sleep with the TV on?
No. I do, however, sleep with a string of christmas lights, a fan, and sometimes a lamp on. I have developed, over several years, an extreme fear of being alone in the dark.
Have you ever thought about getting your lip pierced?
Yes actually.
Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor?
No, as far as I know I haven't. I've passed out behind the counter at my old job, and also in the walk-in cooler, and a great many other places for a number of reasons, but never on the bathroom floor.
Are you jealous of someone right now?
Honestly? Yes. Yes I am. I am extremely jealous of several people.
Where is the person you like right now?
At his apartment.
What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?
My cigarette.
What are you supposed to be doing right now?
Exactly what I am doing right now.
What is the sexiest part of the opposite sex's body?
That gray thing inside of their skull, provided they use it. Also, I'm a face guy, but I also dig the total package. If I like a person, everything about them attracts me.
Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
Yes.
Could you handle a long distance relationship?
I have been for the last four years and four months.
Could you cry right now?
No.
Are you okay with the life you live?
No. I am most definitely not okay with my life as it is right now.
Did you enjoy your day today?
Somewhat.
Do you have a tattoo?
I have an inked scarification on my left ankle that reads "Love is Suicide" overlaying a phrase in russian which translates to "I will always love you". It's barely legible, but I know it's there, and it was inspired by way too much alcohol and a very bad break-up with my ex fiance'. I find it meaningful; To love someone is to give your heart to them and trust them not to destroy it. Even if they do, I'll keep trying to put it back together and give it away for as long as I'm alive enough to do so.
Would you ever get any piercings on your body, other than your ear?
I might, but having a piercing is a tactical disadvantage in a fight, and one I would exploit. I have to assume anyone else would take similar advantage of any pieces of metal embedded in my flesh as well, and frankly that keeps me from doing it. The last thing I need is another thing for someone to grab hold of and hurt me with if I ever have to defend my life.
Ever had a song sang about/for you?
I've been sung for, by my mother when I was little. In my adult life, I'm usually the one doing the singing.
What was the last thing you spent money for?
Good God... the last thing I spent my own money for.... Honestly it was probably either art supplies or a pack of cigarettes. I don't have money that often.
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
A friend of mine, or my mother, depending on when I post this.
Do you call it fall or autumn?
I never paid much attention to it. Fall, I think, mostly.
11:11… Make a wish?
Huh. Okay.
Honestly, who makes you happy most of the time?
I am profoundly UN-happy most of the time, and it's usually the result of my own actions if that happens to change. Among other people I'm in regular contact with, it's about even in frequency, though in quality of happiness my mate wins.
What were you up to at 9pm last night?
Watching a movie, I suspect.
Do you hold grudges?
As much as I try not to, it seems pretty rational to hold certain harmful actions against their perpetrators. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.
Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Many a time.
What are your outlooks on gay/bisexual relationships?
I encourage relationships regardless of the sexual orientation of the members of the relationship, as long as they're happy and not killing each other slowly or wasting eachother's lives, more power to them
Who was your last text from?
Ari.
Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Often. Let me tell you, it doesn't stop at rock bottom, either. You can keep sinking; the pressure will crush you, the darkness will smother your reason, and the excruciating heat or relentless cold can destroy every scrap of your humanity. Rock bottom looks pretty damn good from there.
One thing you’re looking forward to?
At this moment, I have nothing to look forward to with any certainty, other than a visitor I'm having this evening.
Are you shy at first when it comes to meeting people?
Shy isn't the word. If you've ever seen an abused animal sizing up a new human, it's very much like that, only I'm (thankfully) much better at appraising new people.
Has anyone ever called you sexy?
Yes, and I often question their judgement (he says, cocking an eyebrow and smirking wryly)
What color is your camera?
I don't have a camera, but the one I borrow frequently is red.
Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Exceptionally so. I honestly would rather not hide them most of the time. However, I seem to feel emotions differently compared to other people; I find it difficult to actually convey them appropriately at all. The one emotion that I think I have trouble hiding, however, is discomfort. I always feel like, if I'm uncomfortable, I'm wearing it on my sleeve so to speak. Like everyone can tell, even if there's no obvious sign that they can.
Are you wasting your time on someone?
I like to think that no one in my aquaintance is a waste of my time, but I know that's probably nto true. If it's not true though, and I am actually wasting my time on anyone, I don't regret the time lost; So could it really be said to be a waste?
Have you ever overheard a conversation you weren’t supposed to?
Yes, but it's usually nothing malicious.
By the way, what is your name?
Nominus Expers. If you want the name on my driver's license, I suggest you get to know me first. I introduce myself as Nominus to most people these days, though often enough my reputation (and my name of choice) preceeds me when I meet new people.
Are you currently in a relationship?
Yes.
Do you give out second chances too easily?
Yes. Actually, I give numbers of chances that people probably don't deserve, only because I believe that as long as there's a breath in their body, there is hope that they will change. I'm very patient, and doggedly tenacious; I don't give up on people without a hell of a fight.
What color is your favorite hoodie?
Grey.
Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
I look forward to every chance I get for a repeat performance.
Very
Think back eight months ago, were you single?
Nope
What do you carry with you at all times?
My first chainmaille bracelet
Are you a cuddler?
Hell yes.
What would I find if I looked UNDER your bed?
I honestly don't know; other than dirty socks, I suspect you'd find wrappers, paper, other household debris, and probably one or two things I've been looking for for months c.c
Who was the last person of the opposite sex you text messaged?
My mother.
How are you feeling?
Very chill, in spite of being on my third cup of coffee.
Is something wrong right now?
Yes. There are many, many things wrong, Right Now.
Are you mad at someone?
Not in any overt way, but I could be harboring animosity toward someone. I'm in a good mood, so I'm not really looking for it.
How much do looks matter to you in a guy/girl?
If you take care of yourself, or at least your hygeine, then everything else is details. Although if you're horribly disfigured I'll try not to stare; it's not shock so much as morbid fascination, I promise.
What's the greatest thing that happened to you today?
That is a toss-up.... between something motivational that improved my mood, someone from Iceland saying that I'm the best thing in the U.S. that he's aware of and a canadian friend agreeing with him, and having a friend over.
How many TRUE best friends do you have?
Oh I don't want to play favorites, but I have a very tight-knit circle of half a dozen people I'd call my best friends, and even them I get sick of after a while.
Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow?
Definitely.
How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over?
Okay, since we're obviously looking at romantic attachments here, and I'm gay, We're going to adjust this a little. I've felt the need to release emotion for three people I've ever been involved with. However, I haven't shed a single tear in grief since I was about thirteen. I'm not proud of this, and I've come close several times, but normally what most people call crying, I do a little differently. I have to translate emotional pain or distress into a tangible sensation in order to deal with it, and I have several ways of doing this. Not all of them are really psychologically healthy.
Where is your number one friend on your friends list?
Uhhhh... I'm not sure I understand the question. I don't use any social networking sites with an enumerated friends list, but number one would be my man,
pantherapacificDo you have anyone crushing on you?
Yes, and that's pretty normal for me actually. Not to sound too self-centered but I'd actually be more worried if I didn't.
When was the last time you talked to your most recent ex?
Thanksgiving of 2010.
Do you sleep with the TV on?
No. I do, however, sleep with a string of christmas lights, a fan, and sometimes a lamp on. I have developed, over several years, an extreme fear of being alone in the dark.
Have you ever thought about getting your lip pierced?
Yes actually.
Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor?
No, as far as I know I haven't. I've passed out behind the counter at my old job, and also in the walk-in cooler, and a great many other places for a number of reasons, but never on the bathroom floor.
Are you jealous of someone right now?
Honestly? Yes. Yes I am. I am extremely jealous of several people.
Where is the person you like right now?
At his apartment.
What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?
My cigarette.
What are you supposed to be doing right now?
Exactly what I am doing right now.
What is the sexiest part of the opposite sex's body?
That gray thing inside of their skull, provided they use it. Also, I'm a face guy, but I also dig the total package. If I like a person, everything about them attracts me.
Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
Yes.
Could you handle a long distance relationship?
I have been for the last four years and four months.
Could you cry right now?
No.
Are you okay with the life you live?
No. I am most definitely not okay with my life as it is right now.
Did you enjoy your day today?
Somewhat.
Do you have a tattoo?
I have an inked scarification on my left ankle that reads "Love is Suicide" overlaying a phrase in russian which translates to "I will always love you". It's barely legible, but I know it's there, and it was inspired by way too much alcohol and a very bad break-up with my ex fiance'. I find it meaningful; To love someone is to give your heart to them and trust them not to destroy it. Even if they do, I'll keep trying to put it back together and give it away for as long as I'm alive enough to do so.
Would you ever get any piercings on your body, other than your ear?
I might, but having a piercing is a tactical disadvantage in a fight, and one I would exploit. I have to assume anyone else would take similar advantage of any pieces of metal embedded in my flesh as well, and frankly that keeps me from doing it. The last thing I need is another thing for someone to grab hold of and hurt me with if I ever have to defend my life.
Ever had a song sang about/for you?
I've been sung for, by my mother when I was little. In my adult life, I'm usually the one doing the singing.
What was the last thing you spent money for?
Good God... the last thing I spent my own money for.... Honestly it was probably either art supplies or a pack of cigarettes. I don't have money that often.
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
A friend of mine, or my mother, depending on when I post this.
Do you call it fall or autumn?
I never paid much attention to it. Fall, I think, mostly.
11:11… Make a wish?
Huh. Okay.
Honestly, who makes you happy most of the time?
I am profoundly UN-happy most of the time, and it's usually the result of my own actions if that happens to change. Among other people I'm in regular contact with, it's about even in frequency, though in quality of happiness my mate wins.
What were you up to at 9pm last night?
Watching a movie, I suspect.
Do you hold grudges?
As much as I try not to, it seems pretty rational to hold certain harmful actions against their perpetrators. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.
Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Many a time.
What are your outlooks on gay/bisexual relationships?
I encourage relationships regardless of the sexual orientation of the members of the relationship, as long as they're happy and not killing each other slowly or wasting eachother's lives, more power to them
Who was your last text from?
Ari.
Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Often. Let me tell you, it doesn't stop at rock bottom, either. You can keep sinking; the pressure will crush you, the darkness will smother your reason, and the excruciating heat or relentless cold can destroy every scrap of your humanity. Rock bottom looks pretty damn good from there.
One thing you’re looking forward to?
At this moment, I have nothing to look forward to with any certainty, other than a visitor I'm having this evening.
Are you shy at first when it comes to meeting people?
Shy isn't the word. If you've ever seen an abused animal sizing up a new human, it's very much like that, only I'm (thankfully) much better at appraising new people.
Has anyone ever called you sexy?
Yes, and I often question their judgement (he says, cocking an eyebrow and smirking wryly)
What color is your camera?
I don't have a camera, but the one I borrow frequently is red.
Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Exceptionally so. I honestly would rather not hide them most of the time. However, I seem to feel emotions differently compared to other people; I find it difficult to actually convey them appropriately at all. The one emotion that I think I have trouble hiding, however, is discomfort. I always feel like, if I'm uncomfortable, I'm wearing it on my sleeve so to speak. Like everyone can tell, even if there's no obvious sign that they can.
Are you wasting your time on someone?
I like to think that no one in my aquaintance is a waste of my time, but I know that's probably nto true. If it's not true though, and I am actually wasting my time on anyone, I don't regret the time lost; So could it really be said to be a waste?
Have you ever overheard a conversation you weren’t supposed to?
Yes, but it's usually nothing malicious.
By the way, what is your name?
Nominus Expers. If you want the name on my driver's license, I suggest you get to know me first. I introduce myself as Nominus to most people these days, though often enough my reputation (and my name of choice) preceeds me when I meet new people.
Are you currently in a relationship?
Yes.
Do you give out second chances too easily?
Yes. Actually, I give numbers of chances that people probably don't deserve, only because I believe that as long as there's a breath in their body, there is hope that they will change. I'm very patient, and doggedly tenacious; I don't give up on people without a hell of a fight.
What color is your favorite hoodie?
Grey.
Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
I look forward to every chance I get for a repeat performance.
Interesting color test thing
General | Posted 14 years agohttp://colorquiz.com/index.php
I found this in another journal and went and did it. It's true to the last word. That's just downright unsettling....
Color Test - Results
Your Existing Situation
"Needs a peaceful and quiet environment. Desires an affectionate and faithful partner who will spoil him and treat him with importance. If he feels mistreated or a lack of attention, he may withdraw."
Your Stress Sources
"Feels unappreciated and in an unpleasant position. Needs personal recognition and the respect of others, since he has not been about to find partners who value the same things he does. He holds back his emotions and is unable to give fully of himself, but lasting isolation makes him want to change those ways and surrender to his deep urges. Giving in to his natural instincts and urges is a sign of weakness, so feeling this way makes him weak and irritable. Fighting these urges makes him feel stronger, as if he can take on anything that comes his way. Longs to be valued as an important associate and admired for his personal qualities."
Your Restrained Characteristics
"Tries to participate and involve himself in things going on around him; however, avoids conflict and arguments to reduce stress and tension."
"Emotionally withdrawn, feels forced to make compromises which makes emotional attachments difficult."
Feels trapped in a helpless situation and is desperately seeking relief. He is able to find pleasure and happiness in sexual activity.
Your Desired Objective
"Wants interesting and exciting things to happen in his life. He is able to make others like him, because of his genuine concern for them. He is charming and open and makes friends easily. He can have an over-active imagination, which leads him to fantasize and daydream."
Your Actual Problem
"Feeling a lack of energy, he does not wish to be involved in further activity or give in to demands. He is feeling powerless causing him stress, agitation, and irritation, all which he tries to escape by refusing to participate altogether. He tries to escape into a fantasy world where things go his way and his desires are easier to reach."
Your Actual Problem #2
"Impressed by unique and one of a kind things, and by people with exceptional personalities. Tries to takes the characteristics he likes in other people and apply it to himself as well as coming across as a unique individual."
I found this in another journal and went and did it. It's true to the last word. That's just downright unsettling....
Color Test - Results
Your Existing Situation
"Needs a peaceful and quiet environment. Desires an affectionate and faithful partner who will spoil him and treat him with importance. If he feels mistreated or a lack of attention, he may withdraw."
Your Stress Sources
"Feels unappreciated and in an unpleasant position. Needs personal recognition and the respect of others, since he has not been about to find partners who value the same things he does. He holds back his emotions and is unable to give fully of himself, but lasting isolation makes him want to change those ways and surrender to his deep urges. Giving in to his natural instincts and urges is a sign of weakness, so feeling this way makes him weak and irritable. Fighting these urges makes him feel stronger, as if he can take on anything that comes his way. Longs to be valued as an important associate and admired for his personal qualities."
Your Restrained Characteristics
"Tries to participate and involve himself in things going on around him; however, avoids conflict and arguments to reduce stress and tension."
"Emotionally withdrawn, feels forced to make compromises which makes emotional attachments difficult."
Feels trapped in a helpless situation and is desperately seeking relief. He is able to find pleasure and happiness in sexual activity.
Your Desired Objective
"Wants interesting and exciting things to happen in his life. He is able to make others like him, because of his genuine concern for them. He is charming and open and makes friends easily. He can have an over-active imagination, which leads him to fantasize and daydream."
Your Actual Problem
"Feeling a lack of energy, he does not wish to be involved in further activity or give in to demands. He is feeling powerless causing him stress, agitation, and irritation, all which he tries to escape by refusing to participate altogether. He tries to escape into a fantasy world where things go his way and his desires are easier to reach."
Your Actual Problem #2
"Impressed by unique and one of a kind things, and by people with exceptional personalities. Tries to takes the characteristics he likes in other people and apply it to himself as well as coming across as a unique individual."
So, apparently I'm sick....
General | Posted 14 years agoAnd I have been sick for a few months now and had no idea.
I'm a pretty violent sleeper when I'm alone. I toss and turn and suffer from horrible nightmares in which I'm usually fighting for my life. I've injured myself a great many times, woken up having overworked muscles in my arms, bruised my knuckles, or even knocked the bark off of them and woken up bleeding a little. I have, on rare occasions, awoken to the sensation of burying my fist in the sheetrock of the wall next to me.... great way to begin the day, let me tell you.
So it came as no surprise to me at all when several months ago I woke up with an incredible pain in my right side. I didn't think much of it, just thought I'd pulled one of my obliques. It went away after a few days.
And then came back after a couple of weeks. Wash, rinse repeat. I was getting kind of sick of it, wondering what the hell I was doing wrong. It worried me a lot. By tuesday of this week it was so bad I could barely even breathe without feeling like I was being stabbed. This finally convinced my mother, on whom i am basically dependent for all such things, to take me to a doctor. Apparently the pain is not muscular at all, but something entirely new to me. I have a kidney infection which is probably responsible for a lot of other interesting health issues I've been having lately. I've never had pain there before, and it really, really sucks!!
So I'm on some antibiotics that are really kicking my ass, but they seem to be doing the trick.
Cross your fingers, because this issue has been keeping me from getting a lot of stuff done, just because of sheer misery. With any luck, I'll have this think licked and be moving on to better things.
I'm a pretty violent sleeper when I'm alone. I toss and turn and suffer from horrible nightmares in which I'm usually fighting for my life. I've injured myself a great many times, woken up having overworked muscles in my arms, bruised my knuckles, or even knocked the bark off of them and woken up bleeding a little. I have, on rare occasions, awoken to the sensation of burying my fist in the sheetrock of the wall next to me.... great way to begin the day, let me tell you.
So it came as no surprise to me at all when several months ago I woke up with an incredible pain in my right side. I didn't think much of it, just thought I'd pulled one of my obliques. It went away after a few days.
And then came back after a couple of weeks. Wash, rinse repeat. I was getting kind of sick of it, wondering what the hell I was doing wrong. It worried me a lot. By tuesday of this week it was so bad I could barely even breathe without feeling like I was being stabbed. This finally convinced my mother, on whom i am basically dependent for all such things, to take me to a doctor. Apparently the pain is not muscular at all, but something entirely new to me. I have a kidney infection which is probably responsible for a lot of other interesting health issues I've been having lately. I've never had pain there before, and it really, really sucks!!
So I'm on some antibiotics that are really kicking my ass, but they seem to be doing the trick.
Cross your fingers, because this issue has been keeping me from getting a lot of stuff done, just because of sheer misery. With any luck, I'll have this think licked and be moving on to better things.
I wonder who's gonna get it....[CLOSED!!]
General | Posted 14 years agoGetting close to 5k people.... Link me to a screencap to get on my request list >=3
EDIT: WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!
D6016 got the 5,000th pageview n.n
EDIT: WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!
D6016 got the 5,000th pageview n.nI'm Not Dead!!! And that feels AWESOME!!!
General | Posted 14 years agoI am, on the other hand, really, really tired o.o Because I just got back from the beach, where I spent what I doubt was even half an hour swimming like my life depended on it. Because, for once, it actually did!
My buddy Saki sends me a message asking if I want to go to the beach with a couple of people this afternoon. Of course I want to go to the beach, I -LOVE- the water, I've been playing and swimming in it since infancy, and I have many adorable and hilarious stories involving that. So I pile in, meet some new people, and off we go to my favorite beach, down on lovely Perdido Key, FL.
We all get in the water after the appropriate preparations, sunscreen on, items that are not waterproof safely in my backpack on shore with all the shoes and towels, me blowing up a little pool toy inner tube type thing, etc. I want to specify here that I did something really dumb: I failed to eat breakfast today, and was already pretty tired when we went in, but it's never been a problem before. Someone observed that the current was unusually strong today. But we were having a good time.
I don't know who realized it first. I suspect it may have been me, but in any case it did not take long for everyone else to figure out that we were very, very suddenly in way over our heads and a lot farther from shore than we were a moment ago, and in moderate surf (yellow flag, if anyone knows what that means). And this was especially problematic because two of our beach-goers were not proficient swimmers, at all. Thank god for the little pool toy that could! The weakest swimmers latched on for dear life and started trying to follow the two stronger of us back to shore, swimming semi-parallel to land so as not to face exhaustion. I think i might have been the only one who didn't panic; I kept checking on everyone, keeping things light. I want to clarify also that I am not a good swimmer. I am very, very strong, have great endurance in the water, and am totally comfortable whether it be a swimming pool or open ocean. After a while, i can't be sure how long, I stopped to rest on the 'little pool toy that could', assisting in steering it while the strongest swimmer was close enough to shore that I didn't have to worry about it. A minute later I caught purchase of land, started tugging the two non-swimmers and the third got off and walked, at which point, their cries for help had been met with a trio of surfers coming out to assist the bedraggled lot. I was asked if I needed help, and I specifically remember saying, 'I'm fine, help THEM' as I dragged my sorry ass into shallower water. I almost went back in after our last poor soul, who was nearly swept back out still hanging on to the pool toy for dear life before a surfer caught him and helped him out. He stumpled onto shore and (sorry, this is a little graphic) immediately ejected about a liter of sea water he'd swallowed, and the best swimmer was on shore having an asthma attack. Lifeguards and EMTs finally showed up. The poor girl having the asthma attack is heading for the ER because we got swept way too far from the stuff and her inhaler was there, with no one having enough left in them to run for it. But everyone is apparently okay. And I helped just a little in making that happen. I feel awesome, I'm not dead and neither is anyone I was with. This has never happened to me before, but I have more reason now than ever to get stronger and make sure it never happens again.
More later. Going to eat something finally.
My buddy Saki sends me a message asking if I want to go to the beach with a couple of people this afternoon. Of course I want to go to the beach, I -LOVE- the water, I've been playing and swimming in it since infancy, and I have many adorable and hilarious stories involving that. So I pile in, meet some new people, and off we go to my favorite beach, down on lovely Perdido Key, FL.
We all get in the water after the appropriate preparations, sunscreen on, items that are not waterproof safely in my backpack on shore with all the shoes and towels, me blowing up a little pool toy inner tube type thing, etc. I want to specify here that I did something really dumb: I failed to eat breakfast today, and was already pretty tired when we went in, but it's never been a problem before. Someone observed that the current was unusually strong today. But we were having a good time.
I don't know who realized it first. I suspect it may have been me, but in any case it did not take long for everyone else to figure out that we were very, very suddenly in way over our heads and a lot farther from shore than we were a moment ago, and in moderate surf (yellow flag, if anyone knows what that means). And this was especially problematic because two of our beach-goers were not proficient swimmers, at all. Thank god for the little pool toy that could! The weakest swimmers latched on for dear life and started trying to follow the two stronger of us back to shore, swimming semi-parallel to land so as not to face exhaustion. I think i might have been the only one who didn't panic; I kept checking on everyone, keeping things light. I want to clarify also that I am not a good swimmer. I am very, very strong, have great endurance in the water, and am totally comfortable whether it be a swimming pool or open ocean. After a while, i can't be sure how long, I stopped to rest on the 'little pool toy that could', assisting in steering it while the strongest swimmer was close enough to shore that I didn't have to worry about it. A minute later I caught purchase of land, started tugging the two non-swimmers and the third got off and walked, at which point, their cries for help had been met with a trio of surfers coming out to assist the bedraggled lot. I was asked if I needed help, and I specifically remember saying, 'I'm fine, help THEM' as I dragged my sorry ass into shallower water. I almost went back in after our last poor soul, who was nearly swept back out still hanging on to the pool toy for dear life before a surfer caught him and helped him out. He stumpled onto shore and (sorry, this is a little graphic) immediately ejected about a liter of sea water he'd swallowed, and the best swimmer was on shore having an asthma attack. Lifeguards and EMTs finally showed up. The poor girl having the asthma attack is heading for the ER because we got swept way too far from the stuff and her inhaler was there, with no one having enough left in them to run for it. But everyone is apparently okay. And I helped just a little in making that happen. I feel awesome, I'm not dead and neither is anyone I was with. This has never happened to me before, but I have more reason now than ever to get stronger and make sure it never happens again.
More later. Going to eat something finally.
Well, it's getting to be about that time.... KIRIBAN!!!!
General | Posted 14 years agoAnd while I know I owe a bunch of people a bunch of art? I just can't resist this one.
First person to prove with a screencap that they got the 5,000th view gets a surprise from me.
Speaking of all the people I owe art to:
If you must know, I'm actually taking a few weeks to brush up on my skills (see previous journal), which is why I'm not producing a lot right now. I want to make sure than anything I do, even the free stuff, is at the highest quality I can produce, and I can't knowingly continue doing things wrong when I have the means to learn to do them right.
But to recap:
Everyone from
lonelygabu's Secret Santa thing gets something.
asher_tail was my 250th watcher by random chance, so I decided to do something there, too.
I promised
ravask some things.
I promised lonelygabu some things as well.
And the always lovely pantherapacific has requested I do something for him, as has mitsozuka
Is there anyone I'm missing? I'm sure I've got a few other requests or something on the back burner.
And I've been thinking, it's about time I pimped out more of the art I've had done for me, don'tcha think? I'm thinking about doing a page specifically for that purpose, but for now, have a stack of links!
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5780308/ by
lykanthrope
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5713693/ by
SD2522 , bottom left corner
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5697727 by
Cheshire
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2572517/ by
Fyger
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5137172/ by lonelygabu
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3084539/ by
StyxandStoned
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2702226/ by StyxandStoned
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5014889/ by
Zionia
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1800333/ by
-kronexfire-
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2666666/ by
FluffyLai
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5523950/ by
dirtydragon
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1918560/ by
ArcArc
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1961045/ by D6016 , bottom center
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1160977/ by
PeBobcat
Also
tabibito has done some work for me in the past, but it's not in his gallery. Go give him, and the rest of these fine people, a little love. And if you've done work for me, and you're not on here, please, link me!
First person to prove with a screencap that they got the 5,000th view gets a surprise from me.
Speaking of all the people I owe art to:
If you must know, I'm actually taking a few weeks to brush up on my skills (see previous journal), which is why I'm not producing a lot right now. I want to make sure than anything I do, even the free stuff, is at the highest quality I can produce, and I can't knowingly continue doing things wrong when I have the means to learn to do them right.
But to recap:
Everyone from
lonelygabu's Secret Santa thing gets something.
asher_tail was my 250th watcher by random chance, so I decided to do something there, too.I promised
ravask some things.I promised
lonelygabu some things as well.And the always lovely
pantherapacific has requested I do something for him, as has mitsozukaIs there anyone I'm missing? I'm sure I've got a few other requests or something on the back burner.
And I've been thinking, it's about time I pimped out more of the art I've had done for me, don'tcha think? I'm thinking about doing a page specifically for that purpose, but for now, have a stack of links!
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5780308/ by
lykanthropehttp://www.furaffinity.net/view/5713693/ by
SD2522 , bottom left cornerhttp://www.furaffinity.net/view/5697727 by
Cheshirehttp://www.furaffinity.net/view/2572517/ by
Fygerhttp://www.furaffinity.net/view/5137172/ by
lonelygabuhttp://www.furaffinity.net/view/3084539/ by
StyxandStonedhttp://www.furaffinity.net/view/2702226/ by
StyxandStonedhttp://www.furaffinity.net/view/5014889/ by
Zioniahttp://www.furaffinity.net/view/1800333/ by
-kronexfire-http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2666666/ by
FluffyLaihttp://www.furaffinity.net/view/5523950/ by
dirtydragonhttp://www.furaffinity.net/view/1918560/ by
ArcArchttp://www.furaffinity.net/view/1961045/ by
D6016 , bottom centerhttp://www.furaffinity.net/view/1160977/ by
PeBobcatAlso
tabibito has done some work for me in the past, but it's not in his gallery. Go give him, and the rest of these fine people, a little love. And if you've done work for me, and you're not on here, please, link me!A little advice for the artists: Do you want to draw better?
General | Posted 14 years agoWe all have things about our art that we would like to see improve. I've gotten a hold of some really crucial resources for making some of those improvements happen.
Until a week or two ago, I had no idea who this was, or that these books even existed, but Andrew Loomis has written some truly amazing books on basic technique. These are things that every artist should know and apply; perspective, proportion, light and shadow, all those fundamentals that are usually really boring to learn and that a lot of artists try to use style to make up for. Take it from me, no amount of style can make up for weak fundamentals.
http://www.placidchaos.com/AM/index...../andrew_loomis
These books are hard to find in print. They are old, but are by no means outdated. They are easy to understand, and clearly illustrated by the artist himself. I strongly recommend at least having a look at 'Figure Drawing for All It's Worth' and 'Successful Drawing' at a minimum. They're free. Download them and give them a look.
http://artistanatomy.com/artist_ana.....al_plates.html
This site gives you access to a number of well drawn illustrations of human anatomy. We're mostly drawing creatures based on that, so knowing which muscles go where is critical to making figures that look right. Give them a look.
http://cedarseed.deviantart.com/#/ds1wwv
I found this tutorial to be extremely helpful in better illustrating facial expression. Maybe you will find it so too.
That's it for now. I've found these resources to be very helpful recently, and I thought I would share them with anyone interested. Have fun!
Until a week or two ago, I had no idea who this was, or that these books even existed, but Andrew Loomis has written some truly amazing books on basic technique. These are things that every artist should know and apply; perspective, proportion, light and shadow, all those fundamentals that are usually really boring to learn and that a lot of artists try to use style to make up for. Take it from me, no amount of style can make up for weak fundamentals.
http://www.placidchaos.com/AM/index...../andrew_loomis
These books are hard to find in print. They are old, but are by no means outdated. They are easy to understand, and clearly illustrated by the artist himself. I strongly recommend at least having a look at 'Figure Drawing for All It's Worth' and 'Successful Drawing' at a minimum. They're free. Download them and give them a look.
http://artistanatomy.com/artist_ana.....al_plates.html
This site gives you access to a number of well drawn illustrations of human anatomy. We're mostly drawing creatures based on that, so knowing which muscles go where is critical to making figures that look right. Give them a look.
http://cedarseed.deviantart.com/#/ds1wwv
I found this tutorial to be extremely helpful in better illustrating facial expression. Maybe you will find it so too.
That's it for now. I've found these resources to be very helpful recently, and I thought I would share them with anyone interested. Have fun!
Hey, Someone's offering free stuff =3
General | Posted 14 years ago
cyrustars is offering free art =3 Good looking stuff, go check it out!Here's the link to the journal for more details =3
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2360231/
The problems we have....
General | Posted 14 years agohttp://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2265078/
"The problems we have cannot be solved at the level of thinking which created them."- Albert Einstein
Since the journal post I made committing to finally changing some major problems in my life, I've been confronted with the truth of this maxim nearly every day. I thought I'd share it with you.
I'm having to do more than just change my behaviors. I'm having to change the whole way I think about things. I've realized that the reason I fall into these downward spirals is because i have a strong tendency to fall into self-defeating circles of thinking.
It's time to step up my game.
I used to be disciplined, collected, and level headed; I used to be in much better shape and interested in learning, in new experiences, and in life. I don't think there's anyone in the fandom who ever knew me to be that way.
I am now completely without discipline, except for reactionary restraint. I'm still picking up the pieces of the trauma that left me a hollow, distraught wreck. And it finally hit me:
It was thinking the way I have been for years now that got me into this mess. I can't possibly expect to pick myself back up by thinking the same way I have been this whole time.... because that's why I haven't improved very much. I've been thinking myself in circles, because that feels good. It's safe, and it's comfortable.
Given the choice between pain management and a potential cure that will be dangerous and painful, I wonder what most terminally ill patients would choose? Given the choice between candy and medicine, most sick children would choose candy; I wouldn't wonder that an adult would make the same choice.
Trying to get at the thing that's eating me alive by sheer cognition is not working. I've been trying it for years now, and that's insane. Another quote attributed to Einstein-“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
If I want to be disciplined, I must stop wishing to be or reminiscing that I once was. I must BE disciplined.
If I want to be collected and level headed, I must BE collected, and level headed.
If I want to be in better health, I must BE in better health.
If I want to be interested in learning, in new experiences, and in life, I must BE interested in learning, in experiencing new things, and in life.
If I want to be what I know I can be in the core of my being, I have to stop thinking about it, and just BE it.
If I want to live deliberately, by intention, and with a maximum of creative expression, if I want to really LIVE, I have to stop thinking about how to do it and just DO it.
This is a radical departure for me, and it sounds paradoxical, but my father used to tell me that sometimes you have to fake it 'till you make it. I think this advice is wiser than I once gave it credit for.
“If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.”
“As you think, so shall you become.”
“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not you go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.”
“If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you'll never get it done.”
“To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.”
“If you want to learn to swim jump into the water. On dry land no frame of mind is ever going to help you”
“Knowing is not enough, you must apply; willing is not enough, you must do.”
-All by Bruce Lee, and one last one:
“We shall find the answer when we examine the problem, the problem is never apart from the answer, the problem IS the answer, understanding the problem dissolves the problem."
I believe I understand the problem now....
I can't wait to get started.
I leave you all with a song that's always made me feel better whenever I'm down, and I have no idea why. Try to forgive the video, I couldn't find a better one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HO-Pe9UTj2o
Be Well,
Nominus Expers
"The problems we have cannot be solved at the level of thinking which created them."- Albert Einstein
Since the journal post I made committing to finally changing some major problems in my life, I've been confronted with the truth of this maxim nearly every day. I thought I'd share it with you.
I'm having to do more than just change my behaviors. I'm having to change the whole way I think about things. I've realized that the reason I fall into these downward spirals is because i have a strong tendency to fall into self-defeating circles of thinking.
It's time to step up my game.
I used to be disciplined, collected, and level headed; I used to be in much better shape and interested in learning, in new experiences, and in life. I don't think there's anyone in the fandom who ever knew me to be that way.
I am now completely without discipline, except for reactionary restraint. I'm still picking up the pieces of the trauma that left me a hollow, distraught wreck. And it finally hit me:
It was thinking the way I have been for years now that got me into this mess. I can't possibly expect to pick myself back up by thinking the same way I have been this whole time.... because that's why I haven't improved very much. I've been thinking myself in circles, because that feels good. It's safe, and it's comfortable.
Given the choice between pain management and a potential cure that will be dangerous and painful, I wonder what most terminally ill patients would choose? Given the choice between candy and medicine, most sick children would choose candy; I wouldn't wonder that an adult would make the same choice.
Trying to get at the thing that's eating me alive by sheer cognition is not working. I've been trying it for years now, and that's insane. Another quote attributed to Einstein-“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
If I want to be disciplined, I must stop wishing to be or reminiscing that I once was. I must BE disciplined.
If I want to be collected and level headed, I must BE collected, and level headed.
If I want to be in better health, I must BE in better health.
If I want to be interested in learning, in new experiences, and in life, I must BE interested in learning, in experiencing new things, and in life.
If I want to be what I know I can be in the core of my being, I have to stop thinking about it, and just BE it.
If I want to live deliberately, by intention, and with a maximum of creative expression, if I want to really LIVE, I have to stop thinking about how to do it and just DO it.
This is a radical departure for me, and it sounds paradoxical, but my father used to tell me that sometimes you have to fake it 'till you make it. I think this advice is wiser than I once gave it credit for.
“If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.”
“As you think, so shall you become.”
“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not you go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.”
“If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you'll never get it done.”
“To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.”
“If you want to learn to swim jump into the water. On dry land no frame of mind is ever going to help you”
“Knowing is not enough, you must apply; willing is not enough, you must do.”
-All by Bruce Lee, and one last one:
“We shall find the answer when we examine the problem, the problem is never apart from the answer, the problem IS the answer, understanding the problem dissolves the problem."
I believe I understand the problem now....
I can't wait to get started.
I leave you all with a song that's always made me feel better whenever I'm down, and I have no idea why. Try to forgive the video, I couldn't find a better one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HO-Pe9UTj2o
Be Well,
Nominus Expers
I'm an UNCLE!! Again!! =3
General | Posted 14 years agoKyler Silas Jordan was born around 4 am on May 12th, 2011, 8lbs, 20 something inches long. Too bad he couldn't wait twenty more hours x3
And my mom's gone to Jacksonville to see her new grandson, meaning I've got the house all to myself this weekend!! YAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!
I'm suddenly in a much better mood.
And my mom's gone to Jacksonville to see her new grandson, meaning I've got the house all to myself this weekend!! YAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!
I'm suddenly in a much better mood.
Hey guys, Someone's offering more free art =3
General | Posted 14 years ago"To Everyone...
spottycat streaming http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2339764/ You should watch n.n
Why? Because
bluedude has apparently paid for a slot and is giving it away to promote this artist!
More details in this journal.
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2339817/
OR if you just wanna watch do that too, keep us all company X3- >http://www.livestream.com/spottycat
spottycat streaming http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2339764/ You should watch n.nWhy? Because
bluedude has apparently paid for a slot and is giving it away to promote this artist!More details in this journal.
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2339817/
OR if you just wanna watch do that too, keep us all company X3- >http://www.livestream.com/spottycat
