Yes I am still alive. I have pics to post and ...
OH LOOK ABOVE AT MY JOURNAL

The friends and family that mean much to me. If I forgot a spot please let me know. For all who got my messengers I am sorry for not being on much. I have been dealing with some drama I got trying to understand love. How as one honest gay friend told me "I need to grow a spine, break off any online relationships you got, casually date locally, not commit to a serious relationship until your ready, naive..." Several more things and oh "Chill the fuck out". So I am alive folks. I am also working on my Video Game Design degree online too. I am also going to Oklacon with  redx . SO I hope to have a fun time fursuiting and taking lots of pics while I am there. Hmmm what else... oh yeah that's right....

My loving, shy and caring master  johnwolf13 He is looking for new friends to make. He is a kind soul but is more shy than me (believe it or not). Go say hi to him. He likes to have fun chatting and have fun with other things too. Hehe

So that is all i can think of so see ya guys.

I forgot to since FA has been up. I have been dealing with drama I have been causing due to my inexperience in love and life. Yes I am 23 yrs old but over time and out of the service I know I will grow into a more mature adult. That is my attitude. That is my goal to grow into an adult. I felt like a teenager for far too long. I lived with my mother most of my life, real shy and neve got out of the house much until I left to join the AF. I am still growing up. Still finding myself out. I am sorry my watchers for what I shall throw on these journals but they are my journals so be prepare and be afraid. BE VERY VERY AFFRRAIIIDDD
Hehe just kidding folks. Anyways  johnwolf13 is a great master and a great friend to know well for the week I was gone to go see him. I went because it was his birthday, he is a fellow service member and he needed some cheering up in a way only I know and pretty sure he knows too So a week in NY with my master and then back here in England sadly. Will talk laters. I am working on my degree in video game design online at the Academy of Art University in San Francisco.

I am so tired right now. I will nap for a few hours and then go back to packing my stuff for the trip to NY and see master  johnwolf13 I hope my visit will make him feel better. I only need a few hours. Not a full 8 since I got an early flight and early free bus to take me to the airport so I got to make sure I am ready. I will be in the US from Sept 8-13 with me arriving in Heathrow on the 14th. So I hope to enjoy myself and be able to relax away from England. To any I chat on IMs will find me either easy or hard to talk to. Catch ya guys later.

I am gonna be starting my online degree for Game Design and Art for the Academy of Art University. It is based in San Francisco. I will try my best and see how my schedule will go. So dont expect me to be on every night. I really want to do well and succed. If you want tp send me notes I will check everyday before going to bed. I will IM less now. Weekends are a sure bet to see me. I hope this all goes well and..

I just remembered that I am going to go see a special fur this weekend for his birthday up NY so I will be up there for a week. I hope to meet some furs while i am there and go to the 9/11 Ceremonies.

I hope college goes well for me...

I PASSED MY PT TEST !!! *JUMPS UP AND DOWN HAPPILY* I SCORED AN 86.6% AND WILL TAKE ANOTHER ONE IN SIX MONTHS. MORE IN A LATER JOURNAL WHILE I SHOWER, CHANGE, GET LUNCH AND GO BACK TO WORK.

In about 10hrs London time I have been scheduled for my PT Test. It's a make or break moment in my life. So much is riding on me to succeed like my job in the Air Force, my leave to go to NY and also my change to get out of being a cop and into a nice desk job. All I want to do is pass but would be nice to score high . I worked my ass off, sweated pools of tears or sweat because of a hard SSgt i must work out with. I know I can pass it. i have lost weight and gained some muscle for more strength . So i go to bed early to get plenty of rest and wake up ready to win. So pray or wish or comment for success cause I'll need it.

I NEED TO CHILL THE FUCK OUT!!!

LOL

Well that is what one of my RL gay friends said when I came to him asking for advice about me stressing out about so much shit. Right now folks I am in the process of going to online schooling for video game design but dumb me is late in the game on financial aid and I did not look at what supplies I need for school. Let me also add my depression making things worse but with friends I can overcome. As for love I am guarding my heart. I really am not trying to be super desperate and look for a mate so soon. I will find him when I have known him long enough and the person I feel clicks right with me. So I will be busy with school and also freaking out about my PT Test on Tuesday. It is important. Its a make or break moment right here. I am doing my best not to sound emo or annything.

EDIT: I will not be in the mood to RP for quite some time folks. I am sorry but got a lot going on that needs my attention and as you can see I want to relax.

I am playing KH3Ds and SuperMarioLand3D.

Enough said. See yeah when I see yeah guys.

I hate it when a 'father' figure leaves his family behind and acts like nothing happened at all. He was never married to his wife nor did he ever have a kid. My older half brother's biological father did that to him. He left my mother and him when he was only 5 years old for a slut my mom once called her 'friend'. They both sent off into the sunset leaving my mother in tears and my brother without a father until they both met my father to help ever since...

Now a similar situation has occurred with  fredrik
His father left him and his mother for another woman. Please check out his journals. Listen to his story and his plea. Listen to his music (its fantastic btw). I would hate to see this guy homeless after what his father did and to put 'icing on the cake' his father cleaned his mom's bank account leaving them with nothing but being homeless, over 21 sick or not so healthy dogs they had to put some down and broken hearts.

Part 1 Journal

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3734633/

Part 2 journal

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3764550/

Please any little bit helps.

I trust some friends or people I know to an extent...
Anyone i just met will hurt me..
Don't make permanent friends..
Friends will only lead to pain...
I have been alone for about a decade..
Big boys or adults don't cry...
Its weak to ask for help...
Loneliness makes you stronger..

God i could be emo and go on and on and on and on...I felt like updating my journal before going to bed. Better hide this crap before I scare someone. Better hide this crap, be a man and hide this under my mask. Maybe its time I listen to my favorite tune when I am like this (0:42 speaks to me the most). Also how do I make Youtube videos play here on FA?

I guess this is my emo way of saying ..I want to change something about me. A part of me I have been fighting behind the scenes for a long time. What I just described and then some...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=v2H4l9RpkwM&NR=1 <<<<Not like this but the other way

Copied from  raveing-lion

Describe me or my fursona in one word, only one word. Then, if you so wish, pass this along to five friends and see what interesting results you get.

I got like over 28 favs with the 2 commissions I posted. Its crazy. 6 of the 28 are for the babyfur pic. Its no surprise that the orgy pic got the rest of them LOL. I think more submissions of stuff I paid for will be coming soon but ANYWAYS...

Friday went well with meeting up  fluffygryphon and his wife. Both of them were quite awesome. I loved hanging out with them for many hours that day. Learned so much about each other, more about being a furry, the HUGE collection of games Fluffy has made me nerd-gasim and so much more I can't think of it off the top of my head. Its great having fur friends here on FA and elsewhere but having some RL contact with furs makes a huge difference too.

I will not be making the next rank of Staff Sergeant this year. I didn't check my score thou. My name was checked against a list of Staff-Selects and my name wasn't on there. *Shrugs and sighs* Oh well I didn't study hard at all. Maybe next year will be better.

#TMITuesday

Yep. You guys can ask me things. I am almost an open book.

I wanna try it out and see what all the buzz is. The furries I have recently contacted or have contacted me seem to an account there.

NoONe0

Is my account and will find me there for the next hour to couple of hours. Will FINALLY POST SUBMISSION TOO. I know its been awhile but I promise to but something down. I have commissioned several artists since my last submission and some pics I wanna put here as well. Stay tuned folks.

Borrowed from  Raveing-lion


YOU JUST WOKE UP NAKED IN BED NEXT TO ME...

While using only three words, what would you say if this were to happen?

Note: If you comment, please copy and paste this as your journal, so I may comment on yours as well.

Took this from  raveing-lion


Would You...
[] Push me into a wall and kiss me?
[] Come To My House To Do Nothing But Chill?
[] Slap Me?
[] Have Hard Core Sex With Me?
[] Slap Me If I Asked You To?
[] Lick/Suck My Neck?
[] Let Me Lick/Suck Your Neck?
[] Watch A Movie With Me?
[] Take Me Out To Dinner?
[] Take A Shower With Me?
[] Take Me Home For The Night?
[] Let Me Sleep In Your Bed?
[] Let Me Sleep In Your Bed (With You)?
[] Take Me Anywhere With You?
[] Repost This For Me To Answer Your Questions?
[] Lock Me In Your room And Take Advantage Of Me?
[] Let me lock you in your room and Take Advantage of you?
[] Make me breakfast?
[] Tickle Me?
[] Let Me Tickle You?
[] Stick Up For Me If Someone Was Being Mean to Me?
[] Instant Message Me?
[] Greet Me In Public?
[] Hang Out With Me?
[] Hold my waist from behind while we are out?
[] Bring Me Around Your Friends?

Do You...
[] Miss Me?
[] Love Me?
[] Think I'm Hot?
[] Think I'm Cute?
[] Think I'm Ok?
[] Think I'm Ugly?
[] Want To Kiss Me?
[] Want To Cuddle With Me?
[] Want To Date Me?
[] Want To Love Me?

Am I...
[] Sweet?
[] Funny?
[] Cool?
[] lovable?
[] Adorable?
[] Great To Be With?
[] Attractive?
[] Mean?

Have You Ever...
[] Thought About Hooking Up With Me?
[] Found Yourself Wanting To Kiss Me?
[] Wished I Were There?
[] Had A Crush On Me?
[] Wanted My Number?
[] Had A Dream About Me?
[] Been Distracted By Me?
[] Thought About Fucking Me?

Are You...
[] Happy You Know Me?
[] Thinking About Me?
[] My Friend
[] A Freak-A-Leak

Copy and paste this so you can tell me.^^

I don't want to hit that 'Nuke Submissions' button without looking at the more than 2,108 I got plus the more than 11 pages of notes I got to sift thru, delete, archive and maybe just leave alone for now. So for now folks I wont be online much on my IMs for the next day,2 days perhaps but no more than 3. I really need to just take care of my submissions once I get them. My journals I delete them so well and so easily that I got less than a couple I keep around when checking in on ppl I care about. Sorry everyone. Notes are fine for contact but like I said I am trying to clean them up too so keep them to a minimum. You are all so awesome for understanding and if you don't then go ask this teacher for cock. ;3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_a9yU1dQb8&feature=player_embedded#!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT PUT "THANKS FOR THE FAVE/ THANKS FOR WATCHING" IN MY SHOUTBOX!!!!!!!!

No this not me saying this. I have seen this happening from several artists that seem to have some good work in there gallery. Do they have stick up there ass? Are they angry at someone or something? ...
I mean come on saying thanks for the favs you get or the watches is a nice courteous thing to do. Its polite. Sometimes it breaks the ice if you want to perhaps one day talk to said person. Someone explain to me the uptight assholes and why they hate us normal folks for being raised correctly and being polite. I personally love them and appreciate each fav/watch.

Darn it. I have been a bad wolf at not letting you guys know how many times I went to the bathroom, the food I ate, maybe even talk about my sex life etc...You know the stuff you put on your facebook? XD LOL Ok ok bad joke I know. Actually do people really put that kind of personal stuff on there facebook? I wouldn't know since I officially and FINALLY got my lazy fat ass up to take down my RL facebook. Um I guess I could be better. Want to do stuff on weekends or weekdays even away from the base. Just so bored and lonely being out here. Oh well got to live with what the AF gave me. Hmm should I put down here? Any ideas? Oh how about this test here?

http://quizfarm.com/quizzes/Sex/poe.....bdsm/index.php

Found it on Journal
Says I am switch. I had a feeling I was but thought I was more submissive. Oh well.

Yes I love nightly news with Brain Williams because the facts are right and reliable (unlike Fox News). I watch it everyday when I can if I am not to busy, if the video isn't working, etc. So if anyone stops me from watching my daily mix of Nightly News there will be hell to pay trust me. :angry:

The reason I love Nightly News so much is because of home and the world. The news and information that comes from them is wonderful. It gives me the heads up on politics in American (<3), what's going on in my home country I love, what is happening around the world...basically news itself you could say. So don't expect me to answer or bug with anything cause I am in my zone and NO ONE shall fuck that up with me. Hehe ^^;;;

Okay people that is all for now. Carry on. I am busy for the next 20 or so minutes while I am watching this. *is too busy to care as I watch the news and is glued to my computer*

Yep I will never understand the fad that is facebook. Just don't want to use it so I am making FA ma facebook and updating it with stuff. Maybe not everyday but will try to be on more thou it won't be easy. That being said here is my new skype (not exactly new but I haven't used it in months).
alonely.gonzato

Now please let me know thru notes, here in this journal or another way who you are. I am on skype about as much as MSN and Yahoo. Won't be on tonight thou. Need the sleep. GTG now guys see ya.

First bit of madness is...I AM GAY. Yes i am being serious folks. -_- I am finally coming to realize that I am gay. Its not easy for me to ask or to understand being gay but here it is. I am starting a slow process of recovery of thinking I am bi to saying and knowing that I am gay.

Second bit of madness...I AM BEING WATCHED BY SO MANY PEOPLES IN THE THE LAST 24HRS. This is madness because I am shocked at that happening. I know I am not an artist, photographer, animator, etc. but really why these watches? Madness I am telling you. There must be something in the water. Crazy people. Hehe.

Last but not lease I believe to be utter madness is...WHY SHOULD I PUT A WARNING LABEL ON MY PROFILE ABOUT MY RESPONSE TIME TO NOTES, FAVS, WATCHES AND OTHER STUFF ON FA? Its all because of someone (Wont name him) who offended me and my honor in the Air Force by saying and I quote, "...disgracing your country you serve and the US Air Force because you want to gain. I think we shouldn't be friends anymore because you've lost all my respect as a person that protects the US from harm but not anymore." So gentlemen (and any kind ladies who wish to speak with me) that is it in a nutshell. I blocked him immediately upon this note.

So thank for reading this wall of text and hope to yiff from you soon..oops I mean speak to you everyone soon. XP They sound so alike. X_X;;;

http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/peop.....e-of-obamacare

I hope you enjoy Canada. Plus I Democrat, I love Obama, I HATE BILL O'RILEY AND I HATE FOX NEWS WITH A PASSION.

I miss you guys very much. The reason I am not online as much is because of the AF. Yep.

So long relaxing in the office, helping out new people on the base, actually having a chill life...until...now.



I failed an important PT Test (or Physical Training Test). This is my second failure in a 24 month period (Failed my first one last year). I missed the minimum by one sit-up and the run time by one minute. So I am working in a squad of ppl who are in trouble for discipline issues, about to be kicked out or failed there third PT test and can't fail the next test. I am working out in the gym with a tough-as-nails Staff Sergeant who doesn't mind me puking my guts out, making me sweat loads and loads off and then making me go work out some more. So every Monday-Friday I will be in pain or sick like I am bruised and sore all over. I am still feeling sick right now so I only got time to check my notes here, watch the news, play Saints Row 3 (which is very addictive and fun to play) or FINALLY clean my room. So all my peeps and family I care about so much I am so so sorry for not being there for you. I will try to be on during the weekdays but the weekends are my ONLY days off to relax.

Love you guys and miss you all.

*Fat hugs all around*