im so exhausted. everyone surrounding me is running by and i feel like im stuck, running in place and getting no where but worn out and digging a hole straight down. i dont know how much longer i can keep up with this pace and unknown. somethings gotta give. i just need sleep. a nice long restful sleep. alas my mind wont turn off to allow such a thing and nothing seems to help. the penny is in the air, now where the hell will it drop? will i even be awake to see it land?

/state the obvious/ All of this stuff is old, on all of FA. This is something new, to replace the old. Its simply just to make the other go byebye. So yeh, Hi.

/end/New Content

You got what you needed
Now I'm in shambles
You got what you wanted
Now theres nothing left
You took it all
While I have a void
A hole in my heart
Never to be mended
I can act strong
I can put a bandaid on it
I can pretend that things are okay
But inside, the hole still lingers
I trusted you
I believed in you
I gave you my everything
And you stomped on it as if it was a little bug
You gutted it as if it was a hog to slaughter
You never really cared
You never really meant what you said
It was all broken promises
Half truths, and whole lies

I thought things were better
I thought things had changed
Until I found out that it all was a lie.
You never really were the person I fell in love with.
That was all a mirage.
That person never existed.
Here I am alone again,
as if it never happened
I'm left to pick up the pieces
of my shattered heart
while you run away again
where will you run to next
and the time after that
eventually there will be no place to run
you will have to face the facts
it will all catch up to you
and you will realize
that the problem lies with you
I shall continue, alone and broken
with less then eight years left in this pitiful life

What now? What am I supposed to do now? I have no friends, I have no support system, I have no escape. My mind and my heart are in two different places. I go from highs to lows, and everywhere in between. Every day is a different emotion and thought process.
Before I felt hollow. Now I just feel like somethings been ripped out of me, leaving a void, a black hole, that's draining out everything that's left. I am I just going through the paces? From this experience, am I just going to die and be reborn, like the Phoenix? Or am I just going to die? And keep this void, circling this whirlpool until I drown in my own pool of sorrows? Everyone knows I can't swim!
This depression is slowly killing me from the inside out. Things I used to enjoy are now nothing. Things I used to want to do are now gone. I have to be dragged out of the house to go anywhere or do anything. Nothing's going right, everything is a mess. The chains of despair are so very heavy. I can't even sleep it away anymore, as it creeps into my dreams and nightmares. My reality is hazy at best. I have nothing firm to stand on, I'm in quicksand and going down fast. Who wants to stick around and watch the drowning?

I am so confused right now. I feel like I'm in the middle of an earthquake and a tornado at the same time. Everything under me is falling apart, while everything I think about is up in the air, spinning around and around, throwing pieces out like shrapnel and bringing more into the vortex. I have no ideal what I'm supposed to do, what is next in store for me, or where I'm going to be tomorrow. Everything in my mind is constantly changing, moving, rearranging, and nothing stays the same for more than a moment. I am alone in the very center of that vortex, and everything is spinning around me. The storm absolutely is tearing me apart, and knowing whether I will survive it or not is still unknown. Its at times like these that your supposed find out what is real and what is not, and instead I'm just finding more falsehoods and misinformation. What's a gal supposed to do? follow the crowd? Follow her mind? follow her heart? They aren't all the same thing; and what if one of them leads her in the wrong direction? down a dark and dreary path of more lies and deception? Is there a light at the end of the tunnel or is that all BS as well? How does one know what they want in the world? And how do they go about earning that they so desire? And how do they know if what they desire is truly what they want or need? Dammit! Life is so confusing. Am I supposed to just sit back and let life happen the way others want it to? I cry out but no one hears me screaming. It's falling on deaf ears. I truly believe no one pays attention enough to notice, which just makes it all the much more depressing. Where will I land when the storm is over? The aftermath of destruction and rebuilding. Who knows.. but I guess we're about to find out.