So, stuff has been happening in my life. You know, life stuff.

I've been going to trans discussion meetings with a friend and they have been absolutely wonderful, I've come away from every one feeling energized and happy and just really great. It's fantastic being able to talk to people face to face about this sort of thing. There is a lot of interaction and information that is just wonderful to get in actual in person conversation. There are also so many different people there with different experiences, and it's really helped me reflect on my own experiences.

So, I think it's best to say I'm non-binary. When I wrote my last journal I barely really knew what nb was, it wasn't till last year that I really started looking for info on gender stuff. Previously I just sort of collected info through osmosis, so it was all rather scattered and incomplete. Looking at things now and examining how I feel I think nb is a much better representation of who I am. As such I would prefer they/them, but I am still okay with she/her, and really whatever makes people comfortable to talk to me as.

does anyone have DS3 on the PS4? I would love to do some multiplayer stuff

so lately I've been thinking and I've decided that I'm more comfortable identifying as feminine. I like being referred to using feminine pronouns, I like dressing and looking like what society considers to be a lady. I am not full on sexual dysphoria, I still like my penis, but in every other way I would like to be more feminine. I am still figuring stuff out.

so from now own, it would be very nice if people started referring to me by using female pronouns.

thank you all

so I'll be going to BLFC tomorrow.

also it'll be my birthday in two days!

wow! con birthday, first time for me

I haven't done one of these in a while (cause no one really asked me stuff) but I'll do one now for shits and giggles! I gotta work today but I'll answer stuff when I get home

So  liljdude wants to go to rainfurrest and recently found some cheep travel options to get there! Only thing is he needs a room. So if you have space available let him know

Here is his journal: https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7041386/

so I bought some skirtalls online, but it turns out they are just a little bit too small, so I'm looking to sell them now.

they are an 85 CM waist.

here are some pics: http://imgur.com/a/VybcH

send me a note if interested

This is a pure vent journal. Don't expect coherency, don't expect things to go in order, I'm writing this journal as an outlet for myself, maybe fishing for sympathy but mostly just because I can't sleep with all the thoughts swarming in my head, I am literally crying into my pillow.

So today at work I went on my lung break as normal, I eat from our buffet and sit in the restraunt like alway. Today is different though, there are two customers sitting close to me and I can overhear their conversation, it's about gay marriage, specifically how horrible it is. One of the men was talking about how marriage is sacred and that the government allowing gays to marry was tarnishing the institution, how gay peoe were on a relationship with Satan, how God was written into the constitution and now our country was going to hell and more things like that. And all I could do was sit there. I just sat there and ate my lunch because he was a customer, but the entire time I was feeling so angry, so dismayed that in such a liberal part of the country there were still people like this. It was honestly the first time I had heard this drivel firsthand.

Now, my coworkers are great, I talked to them about it afterwords and they really helped me laugh and stuff, but I've been thinking since I've gotten home, what would I have done if I wasn't restricted? How could someone believe what he did? Why couldn't he see that I'm just a normal person looking for happiness, love and acceptance?

The hypocrisy of what the man was saying was simy staggering. Not one minute after spewing poison about gay people he talked about the golden rule! He said "if everyone treated others how they want to be treated we would all get along so much better and the world would be a better place." Was he even listening to himself? Could he even hear how big if a hypocrite he was? With one half of your face you speak of the love of God and the golden rule and with the othe half you spew poison and bile. isnt Christianity about love? What happened to "God so loved the world?" What happened to Jesus preaching about love and kindness, helping others. Using the words of a man who spent his days with whores, with the poor and downtrodden and the outcasts to excuse your hate for other human beings.

Does he not realize that gay peoe are just normal PEOPLE? That we want to live our lives the same as everyone else? Tha we experience joy and sadness, dejection and hope, and everything in between? Does he not think that I found someone I actually love? Someone That I just want to talk to? Someone I can be there for in times of need and who can be with me? Someone to hold, to kiss, to hug and just be with? Someone to go through life with, to share days and experiences with, someone to laugh with and sing with and tell silly stories to. Someone that understands and just brings joy to your life?

Thinking about all of this just made me start crying. I have someone I can love, and now, if we wanted to we could get married, we can have the same rights as everyone else.

God. Honestly I feel a little bad about this. Lime I haven't suffered enough for the right to complain, that they were just words that weren't even directed at me, there are people that have had far worse done to them, who am I to cry and complain? But dam. It this has struck me, this has twisted something inside of me and is driving me more then anything I have ever remembered driving me before.

At least I can be happy knowing the man is wrong. We do have rights now but there are still many problems, as this man has demonstrated.

And yet I don't wish anything bad on this person. I just want to look him straight in the eyes and tell him I'm a human, just like him, I experience love, just like him and that I wish him to be happy and healthy and enjoy his day, and wonder if he can do the same for me.

Her puppy got hit by a car and needs reconstructive surgery on her hip. she's doing commissions and set up a gofundme for help.

you can check her journal here http://www.furaffinity.net/view/16698008/

So, recently I've been wanting to run a campaign in a sort of surreal, fantastic and strange world, but I've felt systems like DnD, pathfinder and other standard fantasy settings don't quite fit with the feel I want from the campaign, so I sort of cobbled together a system from scraps of other systems and odds and ends here and there. So, here's what I got! I would appreciate hearing people's thoughts on how this would actually play and any criticisms or suggestions


-The resolution system would be 2d6+stat vs. a target number.
There would be incremental, if you get 4 or lower then the target number you would fail, and something else weird or hindering would happen. If you roll 3 or 2 under you fail, no extras. If you roll 1 under you fail, but something else happens that could help you in later attempts. If you roll on you succeed, but something happens that can hinder other things. 1 or 2 over and you succeed. 3 or more over and you succeed and something happens that helps other things.


-player characters
the players have 4 stats. physical strength, physical dexterity, mental strength and mental dexterity. at character creation you put a 2 in one stat, 1 in two stats and a 0 in a final stat.
a player creates a race and a profession. the race and profession gives them things they are good at. a carpenter is good at building things out of wood, a doctor is good at healing people, a halfling is good at hiding, ect. this is rather free form. If a situation comes up where you are rolling for something you are skilled at from you race or profession you get to roll 3d6+stat drop the lowest die.
you start with a pool of 3 luck points. You can spend a luck point to increase a die role by one step, so a failure can turn into a failure but. You can also spend a luck point to not die, something happens that saves your life. the GM would hand out (or subtract) luck based on the story or what happens in game.


-combat
this is where I'm not quite sure at what to do. I am thinking combat would be opposed rolls using the same incremental system. 2d6+physical or mental dexterity. if you get 4 or lower then the opponent you fail to hit, and fumble in some way ect.
damage, I am not sure how to do this. I was thinking of giving people hit points equal to their physical strength plus mental strength times 6. then damage would be 1d6+physical or mental strength.


dunno how leveling up would work at all in this system
I'm sure there are other odds and ends I haven't thought about yet.
magic would be very very free-form. thinking of making it a sort of like this. If you get a magic item you can spend a luck point to activate it. if you learn how to cast magic, you spend a luck point to cast the spell, ect.


thoughts and feedback would be appreciated! thank you

haven't done one of these journals in a while. Ask me stuff!

now I'm 24! time flies and such.

Looks like it'll be my birthday soon, on May 12th actually. I never really pay attention to the actual date so it sort of snuck up on me this year! xD

I'll be 24 :3

stolen from Tailbiter


1:Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
I sleep with it close. Always have, why should it be open?

2:Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
nuh-uh

3:Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
untucked for life yo

4:Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
nope!

5:Do you like to use post-it notes?
I should, but I don't.

6:Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
I never cut coupons

7:Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
A bear.

8:Do you have freckles?
Nope

9:Do you always smile for pictures?
I try

10:What is your biggest pet peeve?
loud eating noises, be it chewing, slurping, smacking or crunching. Especially annoying if the person chews with their mouth open.

11:Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
all the freaking time (Sometimes I also count how many steps I take between cracks in the sidewalk and try to lengthen or shorten my stride so I take two steps per sidewalk section)

12:Have you ever peed in the woods?
I was in boyscouts, so yes.

13:What about pooped in the woods?
nopers

14:Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing?
the music is playing in my head silly

15:Do you chew your pens and pencils?
no, and I hate when people borrow my pencils and chew them >:C

16:How many people have you slept with this week?
me.

17:What size is your bed?
uhhh, the size that, uh, I fit on?

18:What is your Song of the week?
I dunnoooooooo, maybe this one? it's been stuck in my head and I keep listening to it so I guess it counts: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-cZy2OETn8

19:Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
and also dresses

20:Do you still watch cartoons?
I tend not to watch any sort of TV really, but I don't mind cartoons like gravity falls

21:Whats your least favorite movie?
I dunno, I can't really think of one off the top of my head. Romcoms are pretty boring and cheesy in all the wrong ways usually

22:Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
a hole in the ground

23:If you're a girl, bra size? If you're a guy, pants size?
medium. (34 inch waist)

24:What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
buffalo or sweet and sour sauce

25:What is your favorite food?
another hard choice, so many good things to choose from so I'll just spin the wheel. WAFFLES WIN

26:What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
Monty python movies

27:Last person you kissed/kissed you?
my boyfriend :3 (that was like, months ago >>; )

28:Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
I was a boy scout, I started as a tiger cub when I was 5 and made it all the way to Eagle scout!

29:Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
for money, anything baby (not actually anything but nudie pics are fine)

30:When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
I wrote a valentines card :3

31:Can you change the oil on a car?
I don't have a car. but if I did I could probably manage

32:Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
hard to do when you don't drive

33:Ever ran out of gas?
never had gas, cause I don't have a car.

34:Favorite kind of sandwich?
meatball. or The kind I make at work which is basically a pizza sandwich xD (I put on pizza sauce, cheese, peperoni, sausage, onion, green pepper and bacon, then i put it in the oven for a bit)

35:Best thing to eat for breakfast?
waffles, or crepes

36:What is your usual bedtime?
11:30 or later, no later then 1:30 usually though

37:Are you lazy?
I'm the laziest asshole to have plopped my butt into a chair

38:When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
I sucked and dressed as stupid dumb stuff. like the year I was the grim reaper but my parents didn't want me to have a scythe cause weapons are bad mmmk? so everyone thought i was a monk.

39:What is your Chinese astrological sign?
sheep.

40:Are you horny?
:B


...yes

41:Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
not anymore. I used to sub to popsci and game informer

42:Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
I played with both when I was little. Right now I would probably actually like the logs better

43:Are you stubborn?
nope. I'm the most wishy-washy go with the flow dude ever. I have the resistance of a wet paper towel. It's kind of a problem actually and has gotten me into trouble or ending up with kind of shitty work because of it.

44:Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
*shrugs*

45:Ever watch soap operas?
nah

46:Are you afraid of heights?
as much as a normal person

47:Do you sing in the car?
don't have a car :u
I would if I did though

48:Do you sing in the shower?
nah

49:Do you dance in the car?
I dance on the car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I don't have a car, again)

50:Ever used a gun?
One time in boyscouts I shot a bbgun. I've used a bow? does that count?

51:Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
my dad makes me test stuff for him all the time, so last month

52:Do you think musicals are cheesy?
not really. depends on the musical really. Les Mis is not cheesy at all for example (though I guess there is one song in there)

53:Is Christmas stressful?
when I remember what day it's on (no seriously, I am the worst at dates ever. EVER, I DON'T DO DATES, I SUCK AT THEM AAAAAAAAA) (but seriously, I just now, this year, for reals this was the first time ever I remembered what day Christmas was without someone reminding me)

54:Ever eat a pirogi?
what's that?

55:Favorite type of fruit pie?
blackberry

56:Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
astronaut. duh.

57:Do you believe in ghosts?
nope. I don't believe in any supernatural stuff at all.

58:Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
yeah, it happens at odd times

59:Take a vitamin daily?
nopeMost of the time

60:Wear slippers?
all the time. slippers are the best thing ever and I love them, my feet are always always cold so I need my slippers.

61:Wear a bath robe?
don't have one

62:What do you wear to bed?
usually boxers, sometimes flannel pajama pants

63:First concert?
Raffi when I was 4. I don't remember it at all

64:Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
Target if I have to chose

65:Nike or Adidas?
my dad used to work at Nike but I don't have any brand loyalty

66:Cheetos Or Fritos?
Frito's. most cheese flavored things are nasty to me

67:Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
Peanuts all day erry day

68:Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
nuh-uh

69:Ever take dance lessons?
nope. (though I used to wear my sister's tutu when I was really little)

70:Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
uhhhhhhhhhhhh

71:Can you curl your tongue?
nope

72:Ever won a spelling bee?
never been in one

73:Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
if I did I don't remember. maybe?

74:Own any record albums?
uh-huh, I even got my dad's old record player

75:Own a record player?
oh. uh. already answered this one. awkward.

76:Regularly burn incense?
nah. I don't mind the smell, just don't really have anywhere I would want to actually place the burny thingy... yeah

77:Ever been in love?
yep :3

78:Who would you like to see in concert?
currently? I dunno. I like a lot of punk bands but get the feeling I wouldn't fit in one of those concerts at all :u

79:What was the last concert you saw?
Streetlight Manifesto with Reel Big Fish

80:Hot tea or cold tea?
Hot, always hot, I love tea so so so much but I can't stand ice tea at all.

81:Tea or coffee?
boooo coffee sucks

82:Sugar or snickerdoodles?
gah! how can you make me choose ;n;
snickerdoodles I guess

83:Can you swim well?
sure I guess? I took swimming lessons for a long time

84:Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
yeah.

85:Are you patient?
I'd say so

86:DJ or band, at a wedding?
*shrugs*

87:Ever won a contest?
yeah

88:Ever have plastic surgery?
Nope

89:Which are better black or green olives?
I actually think they both taste gross!

90:Can you knit or crochet?
nope :c

91:Best room for a fireplace?
Livingroom

92:Do you want to get married?
maybe some day.

93:If married, how long have you been married?
not yet

94:Who was your HS crush?
A German girl, she moved back to Germany after freshman year
(yes, I am gay but I still totally crush on girls, still do)

95:Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
I used to, I was a fucking terror when I was a kid. there's a hole in my door still when I punched it when I was little. I grew up though.

96:Do you have kids?
Nopers

97:Do you want kids?
maybe. sometimes I want my own but that's never gonna happen, and I really don't know about adoptions at all

98:Whats your favorite color?
purples and blues

99:Do you miss anyone right now?
not particularly

you know what time it is boys and girls, TMI tuesday time, ask me any question and you will get an answer

turns out there's already an assumption meme in my journals somewhere, wow! but now we're doing this again cause it's popular again, so let's do this!

what are your assumptions about me and how did you come to them?

you know how this works. ask me a question, any question, and I will answer it.

On the train going to rf right now! I'll be staying in the mariott and using the hell out of twitter to find people. If you wanna find me or something my twitter is argicoon.

Staying at:
The Mariott. planning is hard okay? I'm sorry ;n;

Arrival and Departure?
Arriving on Thursday, leaving on Monday

Mode of transportation:
chu-chu taking the train!

Rooming with:
 mrtastictoast  scrumpetis4  popsicles  ambassadorlambchop  plax40

Who will I likely see you with?
no idea! some of the people I'm staying with probably but I would like to chat and hang out with lots of people :3

Con Plans:
wander around like a dummy with no idea what I'm doing until I see someone I know and then follow them around like a dummy

How can I find you?
longish brown hair, average hight, I'll be wearing my argi badges, people mistake me for a girl sometimes even when I'm not trying to look like one.

Do you do free art?
I'm not even an artist

Do you do trades?
I'm not even an artist

Do you do commissions?
I'm not even an artist

Do you have prints / CDs?
I'm not even an artist

Do you do badges?
I'm not even an artist

Will you have Art in the Art Show?
I'm not even an artist

Will you be going to parties?
if I get invited I will :3

Will you be performing?
I'm not even an artist

Smoke?
uh, maybe. not tobacco...

Drink?
sure

Gender:
dude

Can I hug you?
sure

Can I talk to you?
yeah, hope I don't bore you :u

Will you be at any panels?
maybe, I might wander around a bit

Can I touch you?
if you're not a creeper. don't be a creeper. (I'm the creeper)

Can I buy you drinks?
if you really want to for some reason xD I don't like the taste of alcohol though so they will have to be the fruitiest gayest drinks possible

How old are you?
23

Can I snuggle with you?
if you're not a creeper :3

If you're pissed off, should I approach you?
I probably wont be pissed off honestly. it's really really really really really hard to get me pissed off. but if I do somehow end up in a pissed off mood, still approach me, talking helps me feel better :3

Are you nice?
I like to think so

Single or Taken?
open relationship

What suits will you have?
my birthday suit :u

Cliquey?
ummm, not really. I actually hang around until I feel like I'm to boring and awkward for people so I drift away :u

How tall?
5'8"

Can I Take pictures of you?
ask please

Will you get anything commissioned?
I'd be surprised if I didn't get anything. I'm such an art whore :c

How can I get your attention?
say my name! or wave, whatever you feel like

Can I ask you to dance at the raves?
I am always to embarrassed to dance. Maybe if you manage to get me drunk and/or high I'll feel like my random flailing isn't an embarrassment to mankind and go dancing.

lets see if anyone cares! ask me things! anything! I'll answer :3

here it is!

the stream!

the real deal!

poop yourself in fear or something!

http://www.twitch.tv/argles42

I'll start streaming in about half an hour, I'll make a new journal with a link when I start


stupid internet junk make streaming hard :c

So I haven't played the game yet and haven't even seen any videos of it. I'll be going in cold. I won't have a face cam, just my mic. Would people still be interested in watching?

starting up the stream, here is my channel http://www.twitch.tv/argles42

yep yep. going to start streaming in about an hour an a half, that would be 7:30 pacific time.

I have all the classes unlocked and a lot of the items! only two of them I cheated to get!

so yeah, I'll do gimmick runs if you want or whatever, just pop in and tell me what you wanna see!