FA+
Shop
Misc. Personal Updates 10/6/2015
General | Posted 10 years agoHey guys! How are all of you?
I thought I'd write a bit since I haven't talked for awhile.
I have not had my second tooth pulled yet. I have to figure out when to do after or in next two weeks. I'm waiting to find a day off of work to squeeze an appointment in. I'm still definitely not happy about having another pulled pulled, but it is what it is.
Today I actually went to the ER! I had an abscess building up the size of a quarter on my pubic bone, sort of next to my inner left thigh.
The past two years (almost two years ago exactly is when I went to the ER last. I still have a huge scar!) I've been getting these abcesses repeatedly. We sort of concluded that it was staph causing these infections, but today the doctor actually decided to culture it. We'll see.
The abcesses become so large and infected it's impossible to walk. I still went to school today in order to present a research paper to my biology class (if I missed presentation I would be failed regardless of the reason) soo.. I managed through the pain and kept my cool.
I was waiting in the ER for about three hours until I was finally seen. I was allowed to not go to work today as well--my manager was really understanding and sweet about it.
The procedure for dealing with abcesses is to simply cut them open, take out the pus sac, and and fill the hole with gauze. You don't stitch up pus abcesses because closing the wound will keep the infection inside, rather than drain out.
I went through this procedure already two years ago, so doing it again was ok--but damn, it hurts! They put a quick amount of local anesthetic but it's all extremely painful, especially because this time the abcess is in a sensitive area. I have to wear a pad in order to not bleed all over my clothing. So yep, I have a huge hole in my body!
Unfortunately along with the prescribed Vicodin they didn't also give me a nausea prevention. Painkillers make me vomit. Not fun. Hopefully half a pill will be alright. I'll be napping a lot.
Work is going wonderfully. Everyone there is a total gem. I'll be going back Thursday, hopefully I'll manage well.
I'm thinking about asking for 8 hours/6 days a week. My shifts feel short (6 hours) and j can definitely handle a longer schedule.
In other news, I'm considering saving for a motorbike! We'll see if I like actually riding one or not in the future (I've ridden them as a passenger and had a blast) but I think it would be a good choice for my personality & financially.
I think that's all for now!
I thought I'd write a bit since I haven't talked for awhile.
I have not had my second tooth pulled yet. I have to figure out when to do after or in next two weeks. I'm waiting to find a day off of work to squeeze an appointment in. I'm still definitely not happy about having another pulled pulled, but it is what it is.
Today I actually went to the ER! I had an abscess building up the size of a quarter on my pubic bone, sort of next to my inner left thigh.
The past two years (almost two years ago exactly is when I went to the ER last. I still have a huge scar!) I've been getting these abcesses repeatedly. We sort of concluded that it was staph causing these infections, but today the doctor actually decided to culture it. We'll see.
The abcesses become so large and infected it's impossible to walk. I still went to school today in order to present a research paper to my biology class (if I missed presentation I would be failed regardless of the reason) soo.. I managed through the pain and kept my cool.
I was waiting in the ER for about three hours until I was finally seen. I was allowed to not go to work today as well--my manager was really understanding and sweet about it.
The procedure for dealing with abcesses is to simply cut them open, take out the pus sac, and and fill the hole with gauze. You don't stitch up pus abcesses because closing the wound will keep the infection inside, rather than drain out.
I went through this procedure already two years ago, so doing it again was ok--but damn, it hurts! They put a quick amount of local anesthetic but it's all extremely painful, especially because this time the abcess is in a sensitive area. I have to wear a pad in order to not bleed all over my clothing. So yep, I have a huge hole in my body!
Unfortunately along with the prescribed Vicodin they didn't also give me a nausea prevention. Painkillers make me vomit. Not fun. Hopefully half a pill will be alright. I'll be napping a lot.
Work is going wonderfully. Everyone there is a total gem. I'll be going back Thursday, hopefully I'll manage well.
I'm thinking about asking for 8 hours/6 days a week. My shifts feel short (6 hours) and j can definitely handle a longer schedule.
In other news, I'm considering saving for a motorbike! We'll see if I like actually riding one or not in the future (I've ridden them as a passenger and had a blast) but I think it would be a good choice for my personality & financially.
I think that's all for now!
Updates 92315 I have to get a second tooth pulled..
General | Posted 10 years agoHey guys,
Title says it all. Today was my last dentist appointment to get my remaining cavities filled. Unfortunately while doing so my dentist discovered another badly decayed tooth. I already had all of my teeth xrayed so I'm pretty pissed off that they only just now discovered it last minute? How do you miss that? And last minute? It's weird though, the tooth doesn't hurt at all.. But I imagine that is because it hasn't broken yet, like my last one did.
It is what it is though, I'll have to get it removed or let it rot in my mouth. I almost just want to let the latter happen.
It's completely diagonal from my previous extraction so I don't know how I'm going to be eating anything afterward.
I'm actually not feeling collected about this at all. It's given me a major panic attack. Crying. Shaking. Stress.
I really disliked (hated) the last experience and I told myself I would avoid ever letting that happen again but here I am? I made it through (it's been a week) but I'm feeling worse than I did the first time.
Anyway this whole thing is fueling all the bad things from before to a greater level of terrible.
My mom is more mad, I'll have to have a complete retainer remade, and financially for that.. It's going to suck. Plus I'll be juggling this next procedure with work. I don't even feel great working with my first extraction STILL, let alone a fresh second one. I.. Don't feel good.. At all.
Yeah. I would comment more on this but this is all I have for now. I'm in major need of a hug.
Sorry guys.
Thanks for the read as usual.
Title says it all. Today was my last dentist appointment to get my remaining cavities filled. Unfortunately while doing so my dentist discovered another badly decayed tooth. I already had all of my teeth xrayed so I'm pretty pissed off that they only just now discovered it last minute? How do you miss that? And last minute? It's weird though, the tooth doesn't hurt at all.. But I imagine that is because it hasn't broken yet, like my last one did.
It is what it is though, I'll have to get it removed or let it rot in my mouth. I almost just want to let the latter happen.
It's completely diagonal from my previous extraction so I don't know how I'm going to be eating anything afterward.
I'm actually not feeling collected about this at all. It's given me a major panic attack. Crying. Shaking. Stress.
I really disliked (hated) the last experience and I told myself I would avoid ever letting that happen again but here I am? I made it through (it's been a week) but I'm feeling worse than I did the first time.
Anyway this whole thing is fueling all the bad things from before to a greater level of terrible.
My mom is more mad, I'll have to have a complete retainer remade, and financially for that.. It's going to suck. Plus I'll be juggling this next procedure with work. I don't even feel great working with my first extraction STILL, let alone a fresh second one. I.. Don't feel good.. At all.
Yeah. I would comment more on this but this is all I have for now. I'm in major need of a hug.
Sorry guys.
Thanks for the read as usual.
Artist Personal Updates 92115 First Day @ Work
General | Posted 10 years agoHi guys,
Today was my first shift at work. It was a pretty short shift from 5:00 PM to 10:00 PM. My coworkers are absolutely fabulous in every way... I don't have the words! Just super welcoming, nice, funny jokes, good music tastes, patient with me even though I made errors at times, understanding, good listeners.. it was fun, even though I made some annoying errors here and there. But hey, it was my first day ever working a register and ever trying to figure out our huge inventory of customer options.... I'll have to do some major studying.
Because I don't have a car I have to take Caltrain home. The ride is usually an hour from work to the closest stop to my house, and then 40 minutes by bike to my house (my shift ended at 10:00 PM and I got home at about 12:00 AM). Almost two hours just to get home after my shift.. I'm quite tired.
I imagine I'll get used to this scenario quickly but for now I'm crashing into bed. Totally exhausted... Have to get up for school in about 5 hours. ;~;
Fortunately my manager is a sweetheart and she is O.K with scheduling me to a more fitting time so I won't be coming home extremely late every night. This week I'm stuck with the late shifts, but next week she gave me (I think) entirely afternoon or morning shifts.
I probably have more to say but my brain is fried right now! I'm going to head to sleep.
Today was my first shift at work. It was a pretty short shift from 5:00 PM to 10:00 PM. My coworkers are absolutely fabulous in every way... I don't have the words! Just super welcoming, nice, funny jokes, good music tastes, patient with me even though I made errors at times, understanding, good listeners.. it was fun, even though I made some annoying errors here and there. But hey, it was my first day ever working a register and ever trying to figure out our huge inventory of customer options.... I'll have to do some major studying.
Because I don't have a car I have to take Caltrain home. The ride is usually an hour from work to the closest stop to my house, and then 40 minutes by bike to my house (my shift ended at 10:00 PM and I got home at about 12:00 AM). Almost two hours just to get home after my shift.. I'm quite tired.
I imagine I'll get used to this scenario quickly but for now I'm crashing into bed. Totally exhausted... Have to get up for school in about 5 hours. ;~;
Fortunately my manager is a sweetheart and she is O.K with scheduling me to a more fitting time so I won't be coming home extremely late every night. This week I'm stuck with the late shifts, but next week she gave me (I think) entirely afternoon or morning shifts.
I probably have more to say but my brain is fried right now! I'm going to head to sleep.
Artist Personal Updates 91715 Accepted for a Job!
General | Posted 10 years agoYep! I got accepted.
I'll be working 30 hours a week (five or six days a week) any day of the week. I might reach for full time in the future, but for now I'm going to try this and see how I handle it.
There's so many amazing perks in terms of money for this job.. I'm hyped, though I'll have to be working there a month before I start getting those benefits. When I do I'll be making an equal amount of money as if I was working full time. And then if I do work full time, it'll be even more money than I anticipated, etc..
I finally feel like I'm doing something with my life ;; lol
I start Monday. I'm waiting a bit before I begin because I am just fatigued from my tooth extraction. I want time to heal beforehand because I'm worried I'll overwork myself somehow.
Thanks for the read!!
I'll be working 30 hours a week (five or six days a week) any day of the week. I might reach for full time in the future, but for now I'm going to try this and see how I handle it.
There's so many amazing perks in terms of money for this job.. I'm hyped, though I'll have to be working there a month before I start getting those benefits. When I do I'll be making an equal amount of money as if I was working full time. And then if I do work full time, it'll be even more money than I anticipated, etc..
I finally feel like I'm doing something with my life ;; lol
I start Monday. I'm waiting a bit before I begin because I am just fatigued from my tooth extraction. I want time to heal beforehand because I'm worried I'll overwork myself somehow.
Thanks for the read!!
Artist Personal Updates 91615 Tooth is Extracted!
General | Posted 10 years agoHi guys!!
As mentioned before today was the day I was to get my molar extracted. And I did! I survived! It was really not a great experience though.
In good news I do like the dentist a lot more now. I think when we first met he was having an off day. He is actually quite nice and really pays close attention to how I'm feeling, asks questions and works really quickly.
When I first got to the office I was waiting for half an hour literally shaking from fear of the procedure. I had worked myself up really badly with all sorts of thoughts. I kept worrying I would feel the pain or that my blood would seep into my throat and make me choke while he had the drill in my mouth or that I would be in there for an hour or more. I feel bad for all of my buds because I was straight up panicking to all of them, heh.
The procedure was actually a quick 15 or so minutes excluding time to Novocaine. And he didn't lie, there was a LOT of pressure when he was removing the tooth, I had to form a fist under my jaw and balance it so that my head wouldn't move (it helped so much to do this), but I didn't feel pain until a tid bit towards the end when he was really in my gums (this actually really put me off even though it was only uncomfortable, and I worked myself up again shaking). He gave me another big Novocain and I continued to not feel a thing for remaining 5 minutes or so. The reality is that it was definitely a tolerable procedure. Definitely. It's quick and easy if you are cooperative but I would prefer to never have to do it again, haha.
Without any sense of feeling all of your other senses are really sensitive.. the smell of the drill through the tooth and the sound of teeth cracking is unpleasant, but hey it doesn't physically hurt. Usually when I am at the dentist I just close my eyes and take huge breaths, and fold my hands together in a tight grip as a sort of relaxation mechanism..?
After the procedure the Novocain was wearing off really fast. My mom made me go to the store with her and we picked up my prescriptions and an hour had probably passed by and the numbness was virtually absent. My body was involuntarily crying because of the pain in my jaw and I was constantly fidgeting to distract my body from the aching. I was also just drooling badly out of the corner of my mouth. It really hurt! My wisdom teeth NEVER caused me any pain what so ever (except my mouth was too sore to open).
Sooo, getting a tooth pulled hurts your jaw like hell guys, please don't wait over an hour like me to take your painkiller (they just prescribed me 600mg of ibuprofen which is great. I didn't want something harder because hard painkillers make me vomit without a nausea pill. And I REALLY didn't want to vomit because I had actually forgotten to eat at all) asap, heh. It's easier to prevent pain than get rid of it!!! After I took my painkiller and antibiotic (I also took some benadryl to ensure that I would get sleepy) I changed my gauze and I hoped into bed with my face elevated and fell asleep pretty quick.
After waking up I felt great. The ibuprofen worked wonders. I still feel really good right now although I took some more ibuprofen to make sure I don't feel pain anytime soon. My face is definitely swollen but not too badly. I also am kind of talking with a lisp because my tongue is confused by the new shape of my mouth, haha. The blood is good and clotted so I don't need gauze any longer, though I might put some in when I'm at school tomorrow to make sure I don't harm myself. I filled my stomach up with a bunch of food too. I actually had some soup initially that my mom made for dinner but the liquid kept "pooling" into the hole in my gums making me feel extremely uncomfortable and stinging. So I made some mac and cheese that I would be able to hold on the other side of my mouth. I also had a bit of cake because today was my mom's birthday. Plus regardless of the pooling I am trying to drink a lot of water. It's fine if I tilt my head while I drink, it prevents pooling.
So that was my experience! I head back next Wednesday (the 23rd) for a check-up and my 4 remaining cavity fillings, which is no big deal at all what so ever.
Now that I am virtually through with all of this I am hyped. I can finally begin working efficiently again without feeling dizzy or nauseous all the time. Bye-bye shitty tooth!
I definitely see this experience as an eye opener though, in particular for my diet. I know for sure that the amount of soda and other garbage consumptions I have been drinking/eating in the past has really banged up my mouth. I am FOR SURE cutting back on these unhealthy products in order to prevent going through something like this in the future. No amount of teeth brushing or flossing has prevented soda from destroying my enamel.
I will be getting a new retainer for my bottom row of teeth in the near future. My retainer's stopper is now obviously one tooth too long, and my teeth will shift too much if I don't address this.
In other news, yeah! I have my job interview tomorrow. I look better than I thought though I don't sound too good (difficult to speak well right now) but my manager seems like a sweetheart and she understood my situation. So, this shouldn't damper anything.
I guess that's everything for now??? Thanks everyone for their support and advice through all of this. It really helped me stay calmer than I would have been, and you have all made me feel less alone in things. I'm ecstatic to know I'm cared for by a lot of ya!
Thanks for the read!!
As mentioned before today was the day I was to get my molar extracted. And I did! I survived! It was really not a great experience though.
In good news I do like the dentist a lot more now. I think when we first met he was having an off day. He is actually quite nice and really pays close attention to how I'm feeling, asks questions and works really quickly.
When I first got to the office I was waiting for half an hour literally shaking from fear of the procedure. I had worked myself up really badly with all sorts of thoughts. I kept worrying I would feel the pain or that my blood would seep into my throat and make me choke while he had the drill in my mouth or that I would be in there for an hour or more. I feel bad for all of my buds because I was straight up panicking to all of them, heh.
The procedure was actually a quick 15 or so minutes excluding time to Novocaine. And he didn't lie, there was a LOT of pressure when he was removing the tooth, I had to form a fist under my jaw and balance it so that my head wouldn't move (it helped so much to do this), but I didn't feel pain until a tid bit towards the end when he was really in my gums (this actually really put me off even though it was only uncomfortable, and I worked myself up again shaking). He gave me another big Novocain and I continued to not feel a thing for remaining 5 minutes or so. The reality is that it was definitely a tolerable procedure. Definitely. It's quick and easy if you are cooperative but I would prefer to never have to do it again, haha.
Without any sense of feeling all of your other senses are really sensitive.. the smell of the drill through the tooth and the sound of teeth cracking is unpleasant, but hey it doesn't physically hurt. Usually when I am at the dentist I just close my eyes and take huge breaths, and fold my hands together in a tight grip as a sort of relaxation mechanism..?
After the procedure the Novocain was wearing off really fast. My mom made me go to the store with her and we picked up my prescriptions and an hour had probably passed by and the numbness was virtually absent. My body was involuntarily crying because of the pain in my jaw and I was constantly fidgeting to distract my body from the aching. I was also just drooling badly out of the corner of my mouth. It really hurt! My wisdom teeth NEVER caused me any pain what so ever (except my mouth was too sore to open).
Sooo, getting a tooth pulled hurts your jaw like hell guys, please don't wait over an hour like me to take your painkiller (they just prescribed me 600mg of ibuprofen which is great. I didn't want something harder because hard painkillers make me vomit without a nausea pill. And I REALLY didn't want to vomit because I had actually forgotten to eat at all) asap, heh. It's easier to prevent pain than get rid of it!!! After I took my painkiller and antibiotic (I also took some benadryl to ensure that I would get sleepy) I changed my gauze and I hoped into bed with my face elevated and fell asleep pretty quick.
After waking up I felt great. The ibuprofen worked wonders. I still feel really good right now although I took some more ibuprofen to make sure I don't feel pain anytime soon. My face is definitely swollen but not too badly. I also am kind of talking with a lisp because my tongue is confused by the new shape of my mouth, haha. The blood is good and clotted so I don't need gauze any longer, though I might put some in when I'm at school tomorrow to make sure I don't harm myself. I filled my stomach up with a bunch of food too. I actually had some soup initially that my mom made for dinner but the liquid kept "pooling" into the hole in my gums making me feel extremely uncomfortable and stinging. So I made some mac and cheese that I would be able to hold on the other side of my mouth. I also had a bit of cake because today was my mom's birthday. Plus regardless of the pooling I am trying to drink a lot of water. It's fine if I tilt my head while I drink, it prevents pooling.
So that was my experience! I head back next Wednesday (the 23rd) for a check-up and my 4 remaining cavity fillings, which is no big deal at all what so ever.
Now that I am virtually through with all of this I am hyped. I can finally begin working efficiently again without feeling dizzy or nauseous all the time. Bye-bye shitty tooth!
I definitely see this experience as an eye opener though, in particular for my diet. I know for sure that the amount of soda and other garbage consumptions I have been drinking/eating in the past has really banged up my mouth. I am FOR SURE cutting back on these unhealthy products in order to prevent going through something like this in the future. No amount of teeth brushing or flossing has prevented soda from destroying my enamel.
I will be getting a new retainer for my bottom row of teeth in the near future. My retainer's stopper is now obviously one tooth too long, and my teeth will shift too much if I don't address this.
In other news, yeah! I have my job interview tomorrow. I look better than I thought though I don't sound too good (difficult to speak well right now) but my manager seems like a sweetheart and she understood my situation. So, this shouldn't damper anything.
I guess that's everything for now??? Thanks everyone for their support and advice through all of this. It really helped me stay calmer than I would have been, and you have all made me feel less alone in things. I'm ecstatic to know I'm cared for by a lot of ya!
Thanks for the read!!
Artist Personal Updates 91515 Job Interview Thurs!!!
General | Posted 10 years agoMy partner ended up getting the job and referred me to the manager. I had already sent in an email to the business but the manager asked if I could forward my application directly to her personal email. I did so last night and she got back to me this morning. I'll be heading over there for a job interview on Thursday! I'm hyped.
Edit: oh but yeah, I'll probably have a swollen jaw and gauze in my mouth from my extraction. Awkward but oh well :^)
Artist Personal Updates 91315 Tooth Extraction
General | Posted 10 years agoHi everyone!
Just wanted to say today I went to the dentist and they filled 5/9 cavities. The dentist also cleaned out my broken molar to see if it was salvageable, but unfortunately it isn't, it's too rotten and far gone. I'm scheduled to get it extracted Wednesday, which I'm really afraid for because they aren't going to put me to sleep for it. Maybe by or before Sunday I'll also get the rest of my cavities filled.
Right now the tooth is cleaned out and is essentially an open wound, but the dentist filled it with a temporary medication and filling to prevent any infection. Buuut it hurts already, and it's going to keep hurting until I get the rest of it out. I'll be taking ibuprofen out the ass until Wednesday heh. My jaw is throbbing in pain right now.
The insurance covers 90% of every procedure so in total I think my mother won't be spending more than $300 for all of this.
This part will get very rant oriented.
My mother is making me feel like shit for the whole ordeal. It's been about 3 years since she paid $10k out of pocket for my braces. My teeth look great since I got them off 2 years ago, though I haven't been wearing my retainer much since my tooth pain began, it still fits in place just fine. I am SO thankful for this. As a kid she ended up with 8 impacted teeth because of her wisdom teeth and molars, and her teeth were all shifted and crooked-- she didn’t want me to end up like that.
She's beating me up over the fact that an extraction will require a dental implant and a new retainer, or else my teeth will shift once again.. and the money she spent would have been for nothing.
But I've explained this to you guys already-- when I turned 18 I no longer had the insurance to be able to get cavity fillings without paying with money we didn't have and I haven't had insurance until recently when my mother married my stepdad.
My wisdom teeth have been out for years (they were surgically removed when they were barely developed to avoid issues), so the tooth that needs to be extracted (2nd molar) will have no tooth behind it to shift around. Does anybody know for sure that an extraction of a 2nd molar will guarantee that my retainer won't fit over time? My mother is seriously infuriated that she'll most likely have to spend more money on a new retainer and dental implant.
But I honestly.. don't want an implant. I don't want to go through the procedure if I don't need it. I'm hoping to learn that my teeth won't be affected much if the molar is removed, since it's the farthest tooth in the back. But I wouldn't be surprised if my teeth did shift a lot over time.
What I'm upset about is... my mother's condescending attitude towards me in regards to money she "must" spend on me. I am spoiled. I am lucky to be this age and even have a parent that will still spend money on me health-wise, but I just feel angry at this moment. I want to tell her that she has no obligation to spend money on me. I know I shouldn't reject this type of support, it's a luxury, and I know she loves me a lot, but I'm just hurting because I don't see how things are all me to blame in this scenario. I know it’s out of frustration on her part, but it’s hard to remember that. I understand my feelings aren’t going to be heard unless I speak with her. Money is going to spent no matter what though, and it sucks.
There are so many hypotheticals. Should I have pulled $5k out of my ass years back as a 16 year old and fixed my teeth so this issue wouldn't be happening today? I don't know. It’s probably a solution she wished I thought of in the past.
I sort of feel like owning up to all of this on my own and rejecting her money in the future. We've always been extremely stressed financially and I see why she doesn't want to spend another load of cash on me because she has other important things to pay for, but if it will get her to stop making me feel like shit.. then maybe yes, I'll save money and pay for these things on my own in the distant future. This is a selfish angsty rant I know, I'm sorry. I feel awfully sad. And my tooth hurts.
What do you guys think?
Thanks for the read!
Artist Personal Updates 91315 "Adult decisions"
General | Posted 10 years agoMight end up being kind of ranty and boring, sorry! This is just me talking to me I guess.
Lately thinking of deciding to go full adult with my life because it's the best I can do for myself?
These are all things I want to get into gear immediately.
I want to be a better healthier person??? With serious goals??? And serious achievements???
Things I want to do:
Start working full time (applied to a place tonight, hoping it works out)
Take only two or three painting commissions a month as extra support money
Save for a car used or new, get one, use it,
Save to move out of my home with my mother into somewhere with three other friends, work hard, pay rent, be proud of myself
See a psycholo/chiatrist for depression, get medication, hopefully feel like myself again
Begin therapy, attend sessions at least once a week
Begin working out intensely-- I've already been eating incredibly well the past two weeks, I feel good. If I could lose at least 50 lbs of fat in the future, certainly it will take time, I will be ecstatic (I've gained a lot of weight having these depressed feelings about 3 years ago)
Go to school. Slowly but surely I'll finish in time. HAVE A GOOD GPA!!!!! Maybe a good enough one to continue to get aid and restart my life and rebuild from my future mistakes. It would be so helpful.
Improve my social game-- I want to see my friends more, do more fun things with them. I know that will enrich my health so much. I love everyone so much but I've been so indifferent for so many years now from these shitty feelings of mine. I want to change and be better and happier and..
I'm not happy with where I am but I want to improve, I really do. I want to become the adult I should be by now???
I'll be putting myself way out of my comfort zone with stress but I want to learn to get through it and cope. I
I just feel hype tonight? Idk. I wish I always had this really positive, driven outlook on the future. I feel good right now!! and I want to make myself proud by going into action.
Artist Personal Updates 90515 Dentist Update
General | Posted 10 years agoSo today I went to the dentist but didn't get any results I wanted at all.
I'm not really a fan of the guy that I was put with... there is just a big lack of communication from him and I honestly don't even know what he plans to do with my teeth within the next few weeks? The words that came out of his mouth were "you're going to have to split up many appointments" and "I don't know if I can save the tooth or not". And then he sent me on my way...? I couldn't really ask any questions at all???
After some x-rays I learned I actually have a lot of cavities between my teeth that need to be filled. A LOT.
Aaaaaand that means a lot of money spent to fix them. Sigh.
In regards of my really bad tooth (MY bottom right second molar), the dentist said he isn't really sure if he will be able to save the tooth or not, but it sounds like it will most likely be an extraction. Which is going to fuuuucking suck.
I also apparently have a bad cavity inside my top right second molar, which REALLY explains the pain in my right ear and, why the pain is so bad that I can't even chew with the right side of my mouth..
My next appointment is on the 14th (all of this next week is booked -_-) when he will decide whether or not the tooth can be saved? And hopefully the following Thursday I will get my worst cavity taken care of... (he said Thursdays are the only days they do extractions..??) if that week is not already booked.
The pain is becoming unbearable and I feel really mad about all of this... but all I can ride through this next week with a lot of ibuprofen.
I want to go back to my old dentist that I had two years ago ;_; she was so sweet and actually communicated and make sure I understood what the heck was going on. Blah.
I'm glad I've recently switched gears into bettering my dietary habits for the benefit of my health.. I'm sure years of soda has really fucked with my mouth and I am sooo over it. Coca Cola is poison dudes. Don't drink ittt.
Edit 12:29 AM: Forgot to include work into this little rant.
I'm definitely going to try my very best to pick up work again and get things done. My many commissioners have been waiting much too long for completion. I have to finish things.
However it is to be kept in mind that my bad health right now is SERIOUSLY hindering my ability to work efficiently, quickly, and with quality.
(You can read about these things in my previous journals:
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6981520/ (Initial mention of bad health)
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6997891/ (Apology and further explanation journal))
I'm thinking I should refund some commissions I haven't started in order to lift my workload and be as fair as possible.
I'll write another update ASAP with solid plans for how I'll be handling my current commissions, hopefully with a new solid schedule, but for now I'll be getting back to work while I feel okay enough at the moment to work efficiently.
Thanks for the read! Artist Personal Updates 90215 Dentist Saturday!
General | Posted 10 years agoYeah! I basically wanted to tell you guys I'll be going to the dentist Saturday.
The crappy part is I'll be doing everything at once (I can imagine being there for 3 hours..) so I know I'll be tired as heck.
But yay! Healthy times!Feeling as sick emotionally as physically.. Rant? 82815
General | Posted 10 years agoKeeping commissioners waiting on commissions has definitely been hurting me on a personal, emotional level, as much as my health.
While my most recent batch of commissioned work isn't overdue (My terms of service allows me a month), I have a handful of straggling Iron Artists to complete as soon as possible.
I've taken awhile, I have been working slowly-- but I know I'll finish them soon. I absolutely have to.
I just feel terrible about it-- I.. really didn't want to be the part of the "slow artists" that the furry community absolutely despises.
They hate them. They really do! I've seen it, and business can never recover.
I feel like a complete failure.
I never wanted that. I never wanted to be that but somehow I'm here.
It's really not stress or distraction that's taken a toll on me either-- I've really been in a hole in terms of health and personal life.
I want to believe I'm trying my best but, I know for sure so many people are looking down on me for being a straggler.
All I can say is I promise to improve myself in the future. I have to.
But that's a large part of the problem, right? All I can do is promise-- all I can do is exchange words with you guys. The next step is updating individuals with my progress, but I can only get to that when I can-- words on the internet are meaningless to many people. And sorry means nothing. Many commissioners. And I could never blame anyone for feeling that way, honestly. It's hard to trust people with your money. Incredibly hard. Especially if you've been screwed over in the past by other artists, whether or not they take forever to complete your commission, or never.
But still, all I can do is promise someone I'm trying my best, that I'll deliver their work to them when I am able.
Some artists have taken even longer than me in the past-- believe it or not I'm still waiting on a commission I ordered 3 months ago-- that's not an excuse. Absolutely not. "People have had it worse" is never a viable excuse-- you work to the best of your own capabilities and promises and that's it.
My last large commission batch was to be able to afford school this semester. The large workload wasn't unexpected, large because I needed the money desperately... I know I can get it done (my organizational skills aren't faulty), but I'm always having to overcome obstacles in the last minute of important things. I honestly feel like someone is making the bad things happen to me purposely at times. When my queue is done and through, when I finish everything I have... I promise I won't be taking large commission loads anymore. I've become too familiar with the flow of how my life works.. something is always getting in the way. How can I have a good thing going and always have some "coincidental" issue arise shortly after?
It just.. sucks.
I wish that I could always go beyond completing a commission. I love my commissioners. I love my watchers. I love anyone who loves my work-- I've had so much support. I wish I could do more for everyone who has supported me.
I would be in such a worse place if I hadn't received each and every commission I've gotten so far.
I can't believe I can express my emotions in better words? I'm so happy about all of you... I'm so happy I've had all these supporters. But I digress..
All I can do is promise that I'm going to be healthy again soon. And in the mean time, I've been working as best I can. I want to.. surprise my watchers and commissioners. Show them I can be strong and productive even with my shortcomings.
...Still, I can't help but feel like that won't ever be impressive, "You're just doing the work you're SUPPOSED to be doing. That isn't special." Oh well.
Thanks for the read!
Artist Personal Updates 82015
General | Posted 10 years agoArtist Personal Updates 82015
(TW) Mentioning some gross things about nausea and teeth decay.)
I’m almost certain that nearly none of you really keep track of my personal life updates I post once in a blue moon, about what’s going on for me, but-- I like to mention these important things anyway to keep anyone who stumbles across them updated.
A little while ago I mentioned my tooth problems (the TL;DR is that my right-side-second-molar is badly decayed (cavity) although the issue was spotted over two years ago. The tooth is almost nonexistent at this point—it has become almost completely hallow from decay. I didn’t have health insurance at the time to afford to fix it, but since my mom married my step-dad we now have insurance readily available at any time. I haven’t gotten around to finding a dentist yet). Things have only gotten worse for me, unfortunately!
My right ear has had terrible ear pain. On Saturday night I began to have these sort of dizziness headaches (from I assume the ear pain… cause nausea [and vomiting] from the constant spinning feeling… They’re as bad as my regular migraines), and they have basically connected the dots for me to recognize that it’s a direct relation to my decaying molar. It’s a thing that happens.
The dizziness has been far too awful for me to work on commissions consistently. It comes and goes, but with eye and motion sensitivity from dizzy headaches I simply have been unable to sit at my computer for long periods of time to work. Reading, immersing myself in coloring or line work, and the brightness of my laptop screen is simply too much of an irritation—it all makes me nauseous. Ibuprofen helps if I lay down, but sleep is essentially the only solution and I’ve been doing a lot of it.
I’ll be scheduling a dentist appointment tomorrow. All of this will certainly result in a root canal for my tooth, it’s simply too far gone. Fortunately money won’t play any role in this situation. I expect the insurance to pay for the entire thing so I hope nobody is anticipating any issues on that! I know things will be alright in that aspect. I also am sure the procedure will go well! I’m not scared or worried at all for it, but it’s definitely something I wish had been taken care of sooner. Sigh.
Another extra annoyance of all of this is my tooth hurts too much to wear my retainer, so all of my teeth are rather achey from not wearing it as I should be lately.
Anyhow I anticipate this going well and I want to feel better soon.
I’m feeling bad in other ways though-- I absolutely must work on my commissions as often as possible. Fortunately the dizziness wasn’t around if at all today and I hope it stays that way for tomorrow (and the rest of forever, please). I want to work but I haven’t been doing as much as promised to some or that I should because it’s been simply impossible. Nausea and artwork is impossible. Even if I tried my hardest I’d be putting out half-effort products out of fatigue, which NEVER, in a million years, would I want to subject my commissioners to.
I’m trying my best guys, I promise I am… but it’s all coming along slowly. I actually have a lot of lenience for my commissions because I give myself a month’s deadline from payment date, but I would prefer to avoid such long waits as often as possible. I still feel stressed and sad regardless. I want to make all of you smile with the work I provide to you but I’m feeling so poopy. It’s all poopy.
In other news, our hardwood floors are coming along well. We still need to replace some rotted stuff before we end up finishing the living room, but dang it’s coming along! We’ll also be purchasing a new nice white pleather couch. The house is generally feeling more welcoming and spiffy and that’s super exciting.
Also, school is going fine for me! Everything is paid for and I expect this semester to go completely smoothly and for my GPA to go up with ease. My next important step will be appealing my Financial Aid Disqualification, and maybe I’ll end up with some extra money next semester. We’ll see.
As always, I appreciate all of you supporting me in my work, and I am thanking all of you for your patience.
Placeholder
General | Posted 10 years ago
★
