Last few weeks I've gotten into bizarre sleeping habits and its left me feeling miserable at work. I find myself constantly doing inane things instead of sleeping, like cruising sl or looking at doggo memes or watching stupid youtube.

I've also been having alot of odd out of nowhere emotional issues, which occurred before my sleeping issues. Just have this constant sick feel, like a dull empty ache in my chest and a vomity feeling in my belly. Feel like i want to cry but I can't even budge a tear, i feel alone even when surrounded by friends, I feel worthless and like anything I do is meaningless to this indifferent life.
I am fighting it as hard as I can, i mean I have my own home, I have a great job, I live within walking distance of anything I could want, like parks, gaming stores, food, all that! I just don't understand, wtf is wrong with me I'm so tired of feeling like this, i wish I could just stamp my emotions out, I hate them... i just hate being a burden to friends, i don't want to be the sad emo mopey person, I want to be the happy helpful person you always want to talk to!..ughh... just what is wrong with me...

Hope you guys don't mind but I like venting this way, it feels easy, like i'm not pestering someone.

I just want to be happy.

Hope everyone is having a good one and all them sweety beans is not lonely.~
Probably my best valentines day, might not be with someone but I have made some really awesome new friends and they are making me really happy.<3

Computer finally came to an end, it was awful to begin with and with no amount of upgrades it was always terrible. My brother was nice enough to just let me use there computer. Abit upset and stressed, all i wanted to do was draw and play games with my friends, and yaff on second life, just hope things get a little easier for me soon.

So I've been doodling alot and was wondering something. Been drawing alot of stuff i normally don't aswell, alot of "sexy" things, abit fetishy and stuff. Was wondering if i should like separate them somehow, like thumbnail them or something so people don't have to see them if they don't want too maybe? I dunno, what do you beans think? also been wondering about this for my sl work aswell, like i'm sure there are people who just don't give a shit about the models/textures/Avies I make in sl. Just lemme know what you think.<3

So I had this weird off brand monitor drawing tablet and it with no probable cause decided to no longer work at all, why you haven't seen much art form me, plus all the rl bs I've been handling!

So I was wondering if anyone knew any good monitor-tablets, and if so links please.~<3

I've been doing really good, feeling really happy, like my new job alot, love my new home, my want to do art again, everything is going really well.~

My problem involves communication, I'm super good with interacting with people, its effortless for me to gauge a person feelings. but I find myself getting upset when I interact with my japanese/korean friends, I tihnk its the language barrier. How should i go about learning another language it feels like a huge endeavor to me, and I'm not a very smart person. just want to be able to talk with my friends, such a simple thing, making me so sad. v.v

Happy holidays you sexy sexy beans.~<3

Hope everyone had a good one, just got home from work, and wanted to wish everyone a good 'ween.~

just lie the title says, I want to make my art something more productive I don't want to squander it so i tihnk this is a good place to start, also I'm very tired of working inane meaning less jobs.

First tablets, I seem to have misplaced mines cord in my move and have yet to find it so i hope its ok if i upload just sketches for now, and two I like yeens and there lumper heads and grumblens snoots.~

is it better to upload in bulk or just do it intervals? like how do people prefer seeing stuff?

Sorry was gone for abit, moved into my new place and just got my nets.<3

My sl account was put on hold sometime today, taken all the steps i can to get it back. So yeah thats bummed me out quiet abit.

You can be your very own meat in this game. http://www.scorn-game.com/ looks dank.

Was able to get my account back.

Yey! I got the ice creams and stoof.<3

Yey! I got the ice creams and stoof.<3

Going to be posting alot of doodles today~ Its all mostly sketches and stuff.<3

Having alot of fun at friends place, been doing lotsa art, compy should arrive soon hopefully and I'll be about more, really excited to show you guys all my new doodlens.<3

After taking a break form things, I feel abit better, I have done some sketches which I will post latter, and I'll also be going on a trip in a few days. I'll be gone like a week then in march I'll be going on another trip, so hopefully getting out alot more will help too.<3

Me moving fell through and all the drama I've had to deal with has drained me. I'm going to be gone for a while, just don't feel up to do any art anymore. Sorry to the people I asked to do trades with, if you haven't started please don't.

I really thought everything had changed for the better, sorry, hopefully I'll draw again soon.

Edit: I'm doing better now and am ok, thank you for your guys help.<3

I feel so stressed right now, i have so much going on and weighing down on me so hard right now. I just don't even know...

So much weird emotional stuff with my friends, and just my moving, and just everything, I've been just getting instantly stressed out at the drop of a hat, I feel worn out all the time, its like what is even happening right! I'm trying to talk to people, like good friends and I'm getting the cold shoulder for no perceptible reason, people getting upset because I'm poseball fucking with people on sl, I just fucking don't EVEN anymore, like wtf is going on!

I feel so emotionally drained I don't even know what to say to people anymore.... just why the fuck can't people just talk to me straight, just tell me whats going on and stop giving em the fucking teen angst shit! My fucking god!

Why is all of this happening at once, I don't...

I just want to scream or cry right now...

So I've been having this problem a lot lately where people are really pressuring me to go out/ date them. I don't really know why its so super prevalent right now, its so many close friends and I like all of them, there my beans. but I'm getting really uncomfortable and having to deal with so much emotions form them, i just don't know what to do! Like there some of my favorite people, but like i'm not interested in anyone like that, maybe its always been like this and now that I'm single they are letting it all out?

In total its about 4 close friends and I just don't want to loose them, I just have no idea how to deal with this, its really tearing at my heart, and most likely more so for them. I've already lost some good friends to not dating them.

Just any advice would be great, just don't wanna loose my friends is all. :C

Oh hey there.~

Been doing alot of doodlen lately and I'm very happy with it! I'm going to be posting some new art soon, some of it is going to be very different from what I've posted in the past, some hyper stuff, some very lewd stuff, and what I think is my first full on sex piece sense fore ever!

I've taken a few trades and I'm working on getten them done, but I had a idea for like ych kinda pics, but i'd be one fo my OCs with the ych being someone else's chars, this will be free too and I'll just choose from the people who post in this journal.

Whatcha guys think of that? It sounds like a fun idea to me.~

Happy holidays sweety beans! hope its a good one for you.<3