Psychiatric visit for ADHD/Depression/Anxiety/Panic/Suicidal Ideation - $150.00
Concerta (Methylphenidate) 36mg 60 count - CNS Stimulant - ADHD - $283.99
Effexor XR (Venlafaxine) 75mg 30 count - SNRI Antidepressant - Clinical Depression - $139.99
Xanax (Alprazolam) 0.5mg 30 count - Benzodiazepine Sedative - Anxiety/Panic Disorder - $17.99

Total monthly cost of medical care: $591.97
Covering the car payment on a new Escelade for a neurochemist every month: fucking priceless!
Some things money can't buy, for everything else there's credit debt.

Time has run out and today the event I have long feared and attempted to avert has been set in motion. I have given notice that I will be vacating my apartment at the end of the month. I have lost my home. I have much debt to pay off in addition to my cost of living which is high due to medical expenses.

My parents are generous and are going to take me in. My brother's bedroom will be available because he is successful and lives in the dorms where he goes to college and he is going to go to graduate school so he won't need the space. This is fortunate for me as I will have 100sqft of space under a roof to occupy and three square meals a day.

I want to be extremely clear that I am not my parent's dependent. Any support they have given me since college is debt I will pay back with interest at 3% APR. I will pay rent and utilities and if I am unable to do so my debt to them will increase. I am my own household, I am bankrupt, I would otherwise be homeless.

I have failed.

I had an adverse reaction to a new medication I was put on last month. My personality changed, irritability, aggressiveness, rage, rash behavior. I wanted to hurt people bad, often, and at no provocation. I've been taken off it now so hopefully it'll go away soon. I'm ill now of course. I haven't been able to deal with people lately so I haven't been around.

I don't believe in this anymore. I'm sorry. Maybe I'll be back someday. If you ever cared you can put in the effort to contact me at odiouskangaroo at gmail dotcom because I've been reaching out to you for a long time.

I wanted to make a post and just let you know objectively what's going on with me. As many of you out there know I suffer from clinical depression. I'm currently on antidepressant medication which has given me a good deal better and more realistic perspective on life in general. That said, my mood does cycle over time and I have my good days and bad days.

The good news is that even when I'm depressed I know and realize that I am not being very rational and try and avoid venting that into the public sphere but am not always successful. I hope you can forgive the times I've made a royal ass of myself.

Most days I feel much more like the person I thought I'd lost some 5 years ago. I've honestly made a lot of forward progress but I do have a long way to go. I'm going to do my best to continue to work on this and earn my place here and I want everyone to know just how much I appreciate you standing by me through the tough times.

I'm afraid It's time to face the music, I'm very depressed and there are a lot of life circumstances for me right now that are very upsetting for me and I don't see them improving anytime soon (in fact they may well get worse). Sadly, drawing whimsical things just seems trivial in the face of these things. I don't know when I'll have enough hope in my life or humanity and the future to feel that I have anything to say to the world through my art of that it would matter to anyone.

I've managed to scribble some quick figure gestures tonight. Nothing really post worthy but it's progress compared to the last 6 months during which I haven't been able to put pencil to paper at all. I'm just going to have to learn to work even when I'm depressed though because I doubt it'll go away soon. It makes it really hard to stay motivated though.

It's always been my dream to be able to bring my visions to life and be a part of the artistic community. I know I shouldn't feel left out comparing myself to those who have already spent countless long solitary hours working hard to get to the point they can have fun swapping things around with their friends. I'm just not there yet. On the other hand, I've already come a very long way since my first scribbles 8 years ago. I have watchers out there and that's something considering I don't even draw pr0n. To you I offer my most sincere thanks for encouraging me not to give up and being patient with me.

I'm just going to try and take it one day at a time and do what I can.

Good riddance to 2007, you will not be missed or remembered fondly. In 2008 things are going to change.

Hello everyone! I just wanted to make a quick update post to acompany my latest work.

First of all my scanner came in and works great (though I can't get it working under Vista Beta that the desktop is running so I'm still looking for an extra license for Windows XP Pro Full). With a good scanner I hope to be doing a lot more artwork (with real media). Very excited about that, I'm hoping to keep up on it this quarter, I don't have any art classes so I'm working independently and that means I'm going to need all of you out there to keep the feedback coming, I always work best in a more community-oriented setting (Like FA). Hoping to do some kangaroo doodles next, it's been a while since I've drawn any roos.

Anyway, today's the first day back in class after spring break. I'll be posting.