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my future in furry
General | Posted 2 years agobeen meaning to write this one for a while, but it has been hard for me to really find the right words for it.
obviously my art output has decreased drastically. i go months without drawing which i have never done since i started drawing. i used to draw every day. slowly over time my output decreased a /little/ but like the normal “i have adult responsibilities now” kind of decrease.
the last year and a half ish my life has changed in insane ways that i feel like have fundamentally altered me as a person. i feel a lot of it relates to my career and the fulfillment i find in it. it’s hard to like go to work and monitor anesthesia on complex medical cases and then like look at the discourse on furry twitter and be like yes this place is worth my time. i used to dream of going to cons and owning a fursuit and now the idea of spending $5k (probably more) on an animal costume and using my vacation time to go to a furry convention has 0 appeal to me. not that i think anyone who does has bad priorities, it’s just not personally what would make me happy anymore. i want to save for a dog and a better place- and i have bills to pay 😂
the bottom line is in that period of time leading up to now, i was emotionally abused and manipulated, lost pretty much everything, and still had to finish school and start my career. i was severely depressed, anxious, and dealing with other undiagnosed issues at the time. art took a back seat, and as i’ve started to regrow my life and find my happiness i’ve discovered it comes from other things and places. i am learning to explore my creativity in different ways and trying to just create for myself and not for money or for engagement.
am i saying i’m leaving?
i might be, but i don’t know yet. i might pop in and post a picture of whiskey every 6 months and then leave. i might make a new profile where i post the new things i am doing that are all about expressing and enjoying myself.
i am happy being a vet tech, being with my boyfriend, and having my furry and scaly children. i love my little apartment and am proud of all the accomplishments i’ve made. i’m not announcing my probable departure because i’m too sad to be here, but i just feel like i’ve changed and grown away from it. i’ve been saying it’s temporary art block, but at this point it seems clear to me that it is something more permanent.
and that’s ok :)
obviously my art output has decreased drastically. i go months without drawing which i have never done since i started drawing. i used to draw every day. slowly over time my output decreased a /little/ but like the normal “i have adult responsibilities now” kind of decrease.
the last year and a half ish my life has changed in insane ways that i feel like have fundamentally altered me as a person. i feel a lot of it relates to my career and the fulfillment i find in it. it’s hard to like go to work and monitor anesthesia on complex medical cases and then like look at the discourse on furry twitter and be like yes this place is worth my time. i used to dream of going to cons and owning a fursuit and now the idea of spending $5k (probably more) on an animal costume and using my vacation time to go to a furry convention has 0 appeal to me. not that i think anyone who does has bad priorities, it’s just not personally what would make me happy anymore. i want to save for a dog and a better place- and i have bills to pay 😂
the bottom line is in that period of time leading up to now, i was emotionally abused and manipulated, lost pretty much everything, and still had to finish school and start my career. i was severely depressed, anxious, and dealing with other undiagnosed issues at the time. art took a back seat, and as i’ve started to regrow my life and find my happiness i’ve discovered it comes from other things and places. i am learning to explore my creativity in different ways and trying to just create for myself and not for money or for engagement.
am i saying i’m leaving?
i might be, but i don’t know yet. i might pop in and post a picture of whiskey every 6 months and then leave. i might make a new profile where i post the new things i am doing that are all about expressing and enjoying myself.
i am happy being a vet tech, being with my boyfriend, and having my furry and scaly children. i love my little apartment and am proud of all the accomplishments i’ve made. i’m not announcing my probable departure because i’m too sad to be here, but i just feel like i’ve changed and grown away from it. i’ve been saying it’s temporary art block, but at this point it seems clear to me that it is something more permanent.
and that’s ok :)
anyone need a bluesky code?
General | Posted 2 years agoi have two!!
just comment and i’ll note you the code.
just comment and i’ll note you the code.
updates + follow me on bluesky
General | Posted 2 years ago
so good news this time after a lot of not so great updates.
i finally found a new place and moved into said new place. it is so much nicer than my old place. it’s been a super positive change for me. i went from a dark creepy basement on a main road to a second floor apartment in a nice walkable town with a 7 minute commute to work. i even have access to a big yard. i have never been so thankful for natural lighting and air conditioning. my cat crouton is much happier too because he’s a lot less needy and spends all of his time sitting by the window.
one of the many reasons i was looking for a new place was because i wanted a dog. since i lost my dog not having that kind of relationship and bond has been really difficult. and it is SO HARD to find a dog friendly apartment in my area. it’s hard to find an apartment at all. i was lucky enough to find this apartment and it IS dog friendly.
anddddd………
there is a dog. well there will be. but there is a specific dog i know i will be bringing home with me. my parents were wanting to buy me another dachshund from their breeder but i wasn’t super excited to go through a puppy phase when i live alone with 0 help and work all the time. i told them to ask if she had any adult dogs she was rehoming and she DOES. she has a 1.5 year old male with some minor health issues that are perfect for a vet tech dog dad…. i am so excited to meet this boy and take care of him. his name is REUBEN.
i have been really struggling with my mental health. dogs are my special interest and i’ve always /known/ one of my own would be good for me and would facilitate me being more active and going out more. not to mention how motivated i am by training and such, i’m hoping it’ll help me do more than doom scroll and watch youtube. this is going to be really good for me and is just something i’ve wanted my whole life. animals are my everything. hence my career.
i’m planning on reopening commissions in limited capacity soon (probably moreso going to do nsfw ych). i just need to finish what is on my queue which i think will happen relatively quickly. i feel motivated to draw for the first time in forever now. i’m so glad i was literally scared i lost it forever.
part of what’s been motivating me is discovering a new platform that i actually /enjoy/. i was lucky enough to get a bluesky invite code. if anyone has one please follow me here: https://bsky.app/profile/okstray.bsky.social
if anyone wants a code, i should get more soon and my boyfriend sends me the ones he gets as well.
i’m really excited by the potential the app has! seems like the most promising alternative i’ve seen so far (and i’ve seen so many over my time in the fandom lol)
