I have created a discord server for any of you who wish to discuss about whatever. Feedback is always appreciated.

https://discord.gg/tnM5z5D2Yq

I spent 5 minutes staring at my x-acto knife today. Realized no matter what I did nobody would fucking care if I went through with it.

I don't mean to bother you,
I am formally apologizing to you, and I informing you that unfortunately I will more than likely stop writing. I don't have much support or friends on any of the sites I am on where I post. I've been struggling with depression and thoughts of suicide for twenty years. It has gotten worse, so much that it has affected my writing and most days I can't even get out of bed or the house. I don't feel like I belong in the furry fandom or anywhere.

Yes, I have been in a breakup recently, and I have managed to resist taking a knife to my throat. I have thoughts of inferiority and lack of self-worth have been turned up to eleven right now from the usual eight. I hate dating. I hate having to be reminded of how undesirable I am with every rejection. I'm only keeping myself alive for the sake of my family, but I do want to end this pain and meaningless existence of mine.

I'm sorry to disappoint you,

~Omu

Do I have friends here? Do I belong here? Do I belong anywhere? What's my purpose? Do I have a purpose? Do people enjoy what I write? Do people care?

What's the point?

Hey there everyone! I have a rp site that is in desperate need of new rpers. If you are interested, please come see my site in the link below.

https://surrealillusions.forumotion.com/

If you have a wattpad account please check me out there.

https://www.wattpad.com/user/OmuYasha

I am thinking about it again. I think I am losing it. I'll stay on here for a while longer tonight. I can't cope with this pain. I just can't.

I have learned that I have no talent as an author. As you may know I posted a pic that the only thing I did was just draw junk, colored it in, added in veins, added nipple, touched up the nose, and such. That got more views in one day than my novel got in 2-3 years. Suffice to say, that broke me.

I'm giving on my dream of becoming a writer. I'll leave my stuff on here, but I'm just done.

I'm ending it all.

I sorry for not adding much content during this summer. My depression has been really bumming me down. I've lost a most my motivation to do anything anymore. I don't know if I'll finish my book or if I'll continue writing altogether. I doubt I have many active watchers anyway.

Come ask Gwen anything that you're curious about in regards to her life living with a werewolf.

Salutations Internet! It's me Gwen. Things have been finally going right in my life since I met my mountain of a fiancé. Living with a werewolf partner can be pretty fun :D; although, it does present its challenges. :( Today, I have decided to open a Q&A session to discuss what I've learned or just whatever in general. My life is an open book. Heh heh, Pun intended. XD

-- Gwendolyn Ferguson

For those of you who are curious on how I write my stories, here's an example of one such method I use. All good stories have a structure that starts with introduction, conflict, raising action, climax, falling action, and finally conclusion. The reader should have a sense of fulfillment and entertainment while reading. I try to weave in sociopolitical allusions into a story to give it some meaning. Universe creating is tough work when your reader believe its real, you know you did your job a little too well. XD

Could become a tv series.

Fang Patrol
-Season 1
•Our main character (Leah) has been invited to an university recognizing her unique talents.
•Leah moves into a town in Pacific Northwest and registers.
•Upon her first day she encounters a vampire whilst jogging.
•A Dhampir (Emrick) saves her and introduces her to the supernatural department of the college.
•Leah is taken to a warehouse where Mentor (Dr. Shelly) make an impromptu explanation of their group.
•Dr. Shelly uploads a creature of the night identification app onto Leah's phone and tells her to meet them in the morning as well as to not discuss anything to the uninitiated.
•After Emrick escorts her home, she finds out that from Emrick that the vampire population has exploded in recent months and they have been in dire need of new recruits.
•The next morning, Leah meets with a small group of freshmen, which they are given letters after a lecture and test.
•Leah is a assigned to the S team.
•Upon meeting the S team, everyone does not take her presence well despite Emrick's assurance.
•During mock up missions, her team does everything in their power to push her to quit.
•Dr. Shelly confronts the group about their actions and threatens to demote all of them.
•Leah gets to shine during their first mission, albeit it was a C rank mission.
•After a many monster of the day missions. Leah gets her heart crushed finding out the group leader (Kimberly) has been having an ongoing sexual relationship with Emrick for two years.
•Leah encounters mysterious man out in the woods behaving strangely. The man is mute and tries to avoid her. She loses sight of him before Emrick comes to scold her for going out into the woods alone especially when a full moon approaches.
•The full moon A rank missions everyone waited for was a bust as nothing happened. Dr. Shelly postulates that the uptake in vampires is due to the lack of werewolves in the area. Emrick is quick to point out that most werewolves lock themselves up during the night.
•Dr. Shelly suggests that they attempt to capture a vampire and interrogate them now they have the personnel to do so.
•Emrick is weary but reluctantly agrees.
•They successfully capture and interrogate a vampire only to find out that it is Emrick's own father (Vladimir) who has been creating new vampires.
•Emrick goes to confront his father only to be beaten down. Vladimir reveals that he simply got bored and wanted to have some amusement. He threatens to bite Kim, but Leah bails her out.
•While they walked through the woods they found a dozen ash piles from a slain vampire. None of the Fang Patrolmen reported a vampire a single kill. Kim suggests it was a werewolf attack, but Emrick points out that this was after the full moon something else had to have killed them.
•When they made their report, Dr. Shelly was just as confused as the rest of them, but she agrees that it most likely wasn't a werewolf attack; however, she mentions afterwards that she isn't ruling it out.
•Leah starts doing research on methods of werewolf transformations, and she ended up having more questions than answers.
•Dr. Shelly goes out into the forest with the S team, and after an exhaustive search they fail to find any werewolf tracks; although, they did encounter Vladimir once more when dusk arrived.
•After Vladimir beaten down and knocks out all but Leah and Dr. Shelly, the mysterious man comes out and stands between them, which Vladimir confirms the man is a werewolf, and he was no threat to them at this stage.
•Things go horribly wrong when the werewolf forces a transformation and tears Vladimir apart leaving Leah and Dr. Shelly traumatized.
•The werewolf leaves them before the rest of the team recover, and they believe that they won.
-Season 2
•Upon returning to the warehouse, Kim seeks to celebrate with a pizza party, while Dr. Shelly sits at her desk slumped over very upset. Leah is shell shocked and not talking.
•Emrick assumes that Vladimir lost interest and left before Dr. Shelly screams at him to drop it.
•After that night, the vampire population started to decline, and Vladimir was nowhere to be seen. Leah stopped with patrols, and Dr. Shelly disabled the werewolf entry in the app and banned them from going into the woods.
•Kim goes to find Leah who had gained a bit of weight since she saw her last, and she wondered why she quit. Leah does not want to talk about it, which Kim begs her to come back.
•Dr. Shelly did not enable the werewolf entry for the full moon missions, but there were a couple werewolf sightings, which none of them turned out to be the man from earlier.
•Leah finally returns, but she is a very different woman. Things had quieted down, and the monster of the day missions continued.
•The next full moon, werewolf sightings increased by 20 fold and they formed packs. They managed to put a tracking device on one of them and locate their den.
•When they arrived at the den, they find the alpha and his subordinates. They took them out with zero difficulty until the man showed up causing Leah to freeze up and have a panic attack. She begs for them to run, but Emrick becomes the first victim.
•Kim figures out this man took down Vladimir, and she notices the man behaving more like a wolf than a human. The alpha addresses the man as Fen and orders him to attack.
•Fen walks off not interested, and Leah realizes that Fen has been the one killing all the vampires, and he was the pack's attack dog.
•Later that night she goes out into the woods to seek him out and thank him for saving her, and she finds him meditating by a pond. He finally speaks to her, and reveals he is extraordinarily intelligent.
•She frequently visits him and eventually becomes good friends with him as well as figure out just how his powers work. She actually begins to have romantic feelings for him.
-Season 3
•During her Sophomore year, her feelings come out once she discovers that a succubus whom they had prior run-ins in the past frequents Fen's bedside to get a boost in power.
•Once Leah admits her feelings for Fen, they share a kiss, and she brings him to the warehouse to become a part of the fang patrol.
•Kim believes Fen would be an overall benefit for them, and Dr. Shelly is not sure how having a purebred werewolf on team would work out, but she does admit that she wants him around simply to learn more. Emrick is greatly opposed to it; however, the rest of them want the werewolf around seeing him as an excellent sparring partner.
•During the full moons, Dr. Shelly performs several experiments with Fen as a control, and some with Leah included, which she discovers the role a mate play in domesticating a werewolf, and once all needs are met, they become very docile. Further studies should be performed.
•Leah decides to stay with Fen during his full moons, which Emrick calls her to be the most stupid woman on earth to want to sleep with a werewolf during the full moon.
•During her Junior year, Leah starts getting sick and faints several times during their missions. She also begins craving meat and eats voraciously.
•Emrick believes she got bitten and wants her locked up during the next full moon, but Dr. Shelly reveals that Leah is 4 weeks pregnant. They learn that unprotected sex with a werewolf while transformed can still get you pregnant.
•Leah tells Fen during the next full moon, but she could tell he already knew.
•The baby transforms during the full moons causing Leah greater discomfort, and she discovers that she transforms slightly as well.
•Dr. Shelly finds that with the more time she carries a werewolf fetus, the werewolf hormones she's exposed to increases. Each full moon causes her to turn more and more into a werewolf. She called this condition Gestational Lycanthropy, and she finds the condition very intriguing.
•Emrick gets into a big fight with Fen. Angry that he did not warn Leah about getting pregnant.
•Kim breaks them up, and she loses respect for Emrick as he waited for Fen to be at his weakest before he attacked him.
•Fen disappears, and Kim breaks up with Emrick.
•The S team minus Emrick tries to find Fen.
•They hear a gunshot and find Fen face down in a pool of blood with a gun in his hand.
•They do everything they can to stop the bleeding and rush him back.
•Dr. Shelly puts Fen on life support.
-Season 4
•Vladimir returns.
•Vladimir thanks Emrick for driving Fen to kill himself.
•The S team leave Emrick.
•Vladimir starts to rebuild his vampire empire.
•Emrick returns to visit Fen, which Dr. Shelly informs him that Fen was already feeling terrible for Leah and attacking him was uncalled for.
•Emrick admits that he let his prejudice towards werewolves get the better of him.
•Dr. Shelly demotes Emrick to the A team.
•The S team visit Fen's bed daily. Each time Dr. Shelly has to tell them he's not getting any progress.
•Leah begins to fear the prospect of a life raising a werewolf child alone.
•Vladimir sends a squad of vampires to "pull the plug" on Fen.
•The S and A teams combine forces and successfully fight off the vampires.
•A couple months later, Leah gives birth to a boy.
•Leah brings her baby boy to see daddy, and his cries and wailing cause Fen's brain to react positively.
•Dr. Shelly tells Leah that Fen is waking up from his coma.
•Leah leaves her baby in a crib near Fen.
•After three days from giving birth, Leah finds her son cuddled up in Fen's arms.
•Leah is disappointed to find out that Dr. Shelly put her son there.
•Fen's hand starts moving.
•Emrick stops to visit, and is glad to see Fen pull through.
•During the next full moon, Leah discovers that her transformations stopped, and more importantly Fen got out of bed hungry.
•The S team is called to bring a much food as possible.
•The S and A team celebrate Fen's recovery.
•Kim reconciles with Emrick.
•Leah tells Fen to never leave her and their son again.

In 2030 the world has reached 9 billion people become a very crowded and civilization's stability is teetering on the edge of that magic number of 10 billion where the earth cannot support the resources every human needs to survive. The supernatural community has now faced a serious decision to make on the issue. Do we start eating humans again and thin out the herd, or can we trust they will get their ducks in a row and work towards increasing Earth's Carrying capacity? After what they's witness with how they approached climate change, mostly everyone is leaning towards the former.

I have been working on my first Werewolf novel for a great while now, and I'm releasing the chapters here everyday. The novel will go into a lot of depth about the werewolf world. What would their Culture, Politics, History, Physiology, Psychology, Law, and Hierarchy be like? What if there were two ideals "humans are food" vs. "humans are allies", and what if those two groups fight amoungst another? What would happen when human technology spills open their secrecy? This book shows the turning point on when our society becomes either a utopian society or a dystopian society.

The focus is on a clan in Portland, Oregon, a booming metropolis in Pacific Northwest. Our bustling community of 4 million has ties to a deep dark past that stems from 400 years in the past. The Hudson's Bay Company and other fur trade corporations took advantage of the North American continent and its booming werewolf population by providing them one job, and it was a job they excelled in. The fur trade business was very lucrative having the employment of werewolves who needed no training, no supplies, and no shelter to hunt what the market desired.

At the turn of the 19th century, Hudson's Bay Company became a powerful monopoly and had great political power over half the continent, and as Manifest destiny pushed towards Oregon Country, the great company encouraged werewolves and the natives to stir up trouble and discourage settlements of the Americans. With knowledge of the treatment of Native tribes in the east, this was a clear infringement of their sovereignty. Although the campaign was successful in the beginning, werewolf hunters and the US military were called in to commit genocide. The fighting broke the country in two, and it gave raise to monsters like Ian, a werewolf with a deep hatred towards humans that he would vow to get back at them.

Ian encouraged repopulation by any means necessary in order to compensate for the ballooning human population. 100 years later His goal would have came to fruition if it was not for the efforts of the Supernatural Administration (US) and the Supernatural Affairs Ministry (UK). Their top operatives including Senior Agent Steele Wolfgang and Field Agent Bernie Cooper intervened by recruiting werewolves who were freshly bitten and any of decent, and they forced out Ian before uniting the factions together. Many viewed Steele as more competent than Ian; however, their true beliefs about humans became pushed back as the werewolf hunter had essentially stopped in the region. How long will they put faith into Steele's preaching?

Please check it out!

→ Link here ←

▬ Disclaimer‼ This book will contain graphic depictions of Violence, Gore, Sex, Strong Language, and Ideologically Sensitive material! This should be taken from an intellectual standpoint and not an attack on humans in anyway.

I appologize for not uploading any more awesome stories as of late. I have been working on my first Werewolf novel and I have reached page 432. I intend to get this novel published so I cannot release too much of it online if you know what I mean. I am however willing to give 3 chapters of the novel on here if you all are interesting in reading it. It is not the typical werewolf book in the least...though I do not really spend time reading books to be honest ironically enough. The novel is basically an exploration on what a werewolf would be like in the real world. What would their Culture, Politics, History, Physiology, Psychology, Law, and Hierarchy be like? What if there were two ideals "humans are food" vs. "humans are allies", and what if those two groups fight amoungst another? What would happen when human technology spills open their secrecy? This book shows the turning point on when our society becomes either a utopian society or a dystopian society. I'm not sure if this will become a series...I have enough content to split it into a Couple books (2 prequels, and 2 sequels). Tell me what you think about my big project.