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Posted 13 years agoI'm moving my artwork to the account 
Merula for a fresh start.
All commissions owed will be posted over there, along with (eventually) a new price list.
For an explanation of why I'm taking so long, please see my previous journal- things have been hectic as many of you know, and I'm trying to manage my time accordingly.
I NOW HAVE INTERNET by means of cell phone tethering, so I will be on more often.
Thanks for understanding :)
Merula for a fresh start.All commissions owed will be posted over there, along with (eventually) a new price list.
For an explanation of why I'm taking so long, please see my previous journal- things have been hectic as many of you know, and I'm trying to manage my time accordingly.
I NOW HAVE INTERNET by means of cell phone tethering, so I will be on more often.
Thanks for understanding :)
important explanation.
Posted 13 years agoI've got internet now and I will be finishing up the commissions I owe and posting them on Merula. New account for a fresh start.
copy + pasted from my DA.
I feel like I should tell everyone this story.
Last year, around April, I started feeling nasty. Like, super gross. I researched my symptoms and chalked it up to gluten intolerance: bloating, discomfort when I ate anything with grain, and so forth. I made an appointment to get checked but the girl I'd switched shifts with at work didn't show up, so I was called in and missed my appointment. I adjusted my diet appropriately and was fine after that.
A little ways down the road, around the end of May, people kept commenting on my figure, saying I looked pregnant. I was furious, since I was on the Pill, and taking it consistently so I didn't get a period (for those of you who don't know, you're supposed to take a week off per month for your period). I would angrily reply, "No, I'm not pregnant, I'm just FAT, thanks."
It got to be too much for me. I went into the doctor, thinking I had ovarian cysts or a severe intestinal blockage, since I was getting painful gas bubbles and pressure. She ran a blood test and a urine test, and as I sat in the room waiting, my mind was swimming with the worst possibilities... ovarian cancer, intestinal cancer...
She came back into the room with a slight smile, sat down, and said:
"Well, you're pregnant."
My mouth dropped open. I was aghast. But there was more she had to tell me.
"... and you're over halfway through!"
I immediately started bawling. I couldn't believe this. I never wanted kids, nor did my boyfriend, and I had NO idea pregnancy had been the cause of my physical problems. I'm not a big person, and I was barely showing any tummy (enough for people to comment though, I guess). I left with my brain in a maelstrom of confusion and fear and confusion and more fear.
Thinking there was a possibility she was wrong, I went to another doctor. She told me the same thing, except something more that furthered my fright. I wasn't just halfway through. I was seven months pregnant.
I told my boyfriend, who was not happy. I told my parents, who were torn between knowing I'd never wanted kids, and them wanting grandchildren. I was terrified. I had no idea what I was going to do. I was adopted when I was a baby, so I figured that would be the best thing for this one. I scheduled my ultrasound. My cousin went with me. We watched as the little figure popped up on the screen- raising its legs over its head, it unabashedly showed us that it was a girl.
Later that week, I went to the adoption agency to flip through the bios of the waiting families. They all seemed very nice (and one had chickens!) but none of them felt right.
Now, jumping back to several years ago, I had a dream. I was at the edge of a forest. A tall black stallion walked up to me, and in a strong, deep voice, told me to follow him. I did. He brought me to a clearing that had a paint mare (one of my totems) and a large grey draft horse (my childhood imaginary friend, Lightning). Behind Lightning I saw two shadowy forms of foals; I knew instinctively that one was male and one was female. I didn't approach, I just stood next to the stallion with my hand on his neck. He turned his face towards me and spoke. "You must take care of the child."
After the ultrasound, I had that dream again. Now, I've never really been one for faith, but that definitely meant something to me. I was afraid of the outcome, but I was having other prophetic dreams and feelings... so I made the choice to keep the baby. I knew my boyfriend would be furious, and I was very apprehensive about it, but I decided that if he didn't want a part in it, that was his choice. My feelings were too strong, and two months wasn't nearly long enough to make a decision as serious as adoption. The logical part of me said that at my age, having a baby was ideal. If I'd been any younger, I'd definitely have gone the other route.
On August 11 at 3am, my water broke. I woke my boyfriend and told him. The contractions weren't bad yet, so after I called the midwives, he went to do an early workout at the gym to keep himself awake so he could drive me when things progressed. He had to work at 9am, so I was worried he'd be late. At 7am he drove me to the hospital. Almost. We couldn't find it. It was nearing time for him to go to work, and I knew the hospital was close, so I told him to drop me off at the fire station up the street. He reluctantly did so. I stumbled up to a firelady who was packing a van, holding my massive belly and carrying a giant backpack of stuff. She saw me and her eyes got wide. "Are you in labor?" she asked. To which I could just nod, because the contractions were getting somewhat fierce. She loaded me in and drove me the embarrassing ONE block to the ER, where they were waiting with a wheelchair.
Time passed, family came, I was delusional with pain, and after 38 and a half hours of labor they discovered my pelvis was too narrow for delivery, so they had to do a c-section.
And thus arrived Evangeline Rose.
And now you all know why I've been absent so long. We're still adjusting, emotions are still running high with my boyfriend because of the initial no-kids-ever agreement, but it's gradually coming together.
Jesus that was a long journal.
TLDR; I didn't know I was pregnant and had a baby. x)
Merula. New account for a fresh start.copy + pasted from my DA.
I feel like I should tell everyone this story.
Last year, around April, I started feeling nasty. Like, super gross. I researched my symptoms and chalked it up to gluten intolerance: bloating, discomfort when I ate anything with grain, and so forth. I made an appointment to get checked but the girl I'd switched shifts with at work didn't show up, so I was called in and missed my appointment. I adjusted my diet appropriately and was fine after that.
A little ways down the road, around the end of May, people kept commenting on my figure, saying I looked pregnant. I was furious, since I was on the Pill, and taking it consistently so I didn't get a period (for those of you who don't know, you're supposed to take a week off per month for your period). I would angrily reply, "No, I'm not pregnant, I'm just FAT, thanks."
It got to be too much for me. I went into the doctor, thinking I had ovarian cysts or a severe intestinal blockage, since I was getting painful gas bubbles and pressure. She ran a blood test and a urine test, and as I sat in the room waiting, my mind was swimming with the worst possibilities... ovarian cancer, intestinal cancer...
She came back into the room with a slight smile, sat down, and said:
"Well, you're pregnant."
My mouth dropped open. I was aghast. But there was more she had to tell me.
"... and you're over halfway through!"
I immediately started bawling. I couldn't believe this. I never wanted kids, nor did my boyfriend, and I had NO idea pregnancy had been the cause of my physical problems. I'm not a big person, and I was barely showing any tummy (enough for people to comment though, I guess). I left with my brain in a maelstrom of confusion and fear and confusion and more fear.
Thinking there was a possibility she was wrong, I went to another doctor. She told me the same thing, except something more that furthered my fright. I wasn't just halfway through. I was seven months pregnant.
I told my boyfriend, who was not happy. I told my parents, who were torn between knowing I'd never wanted kids, and them wanting grandchildren. I was terrified. I had no idea what I was going to do. I was adopted when I was a baby, so I figured that would be the best thing for this one. I scheduled my ultrasound. My cousin went with me. We watched as the little figure popped up on the screen- raising its legs over its head, it unabashedly showed us that it was a girl.
Later that week, I went to the adoption agency to flip through the bios of the waiting families. They all seemed very nice (and one had chickens!) but none of them felt right.
Now, jumping back to several years ago, I had a dream. I was at the edge of a forest. A tall black stallion walked up to me, and in a strong, deep voice, told me to follow him. I did. He brought me to a clearing that had a paint mare (one of my totems) and a large grey draft horse (my childhood imaginary friend, Lightning). Behind Lightning I saw two shadowy forms of foals; I knew instinctively that one was male and one was female. I didn't approach, I just stood next to the stallion with my hand on his neck. He turned his face towards me and spoke. "You must take care of the child."
After the ultrasound, I had that dream again. Now, I've never really been one for faith, but that definitely meant something to me. I was afraid of the outcome, but I was having other prophetic dreams and feelings... so I made the choice to keep the baby. I knew my boyfriend would be furious, and I was very apprehensive about it, but I decided that if he didn't want a part in it, that was his choice. My feelings were too strong, and two months wasn't nearly long enough to make a decision as serious as adoption. The logical part of me said that at my age, having a baby was ideal. If I'd been any younger, I'd definitely have gone the other route.
On August 11 at 3am, my water broke. I woke my boyfriend and told him. The contractions weren't bad yet, so after I called the midwives, he went to do an early workout at the gym to keep himself awake so he could drive me when things progressed. He had to work at 9am, so I was worried he'd be late. At 7am he drove me to the hospital. Almost. We couldn't find it. It was nearing time for him to go to work, and I knew the hospital was close, so I told him to drop me off at the fire station up the street. He reluctantly did so. I stumbled up to a firelady who was packing a van, holding my massive belly and carrying a giant backpack of stuff. She saw me and her eyes got wide. "Are you in labor?" she asked. To which I could just nod, because the contractions were getting somewhat fierce. She loaded me in and drove me the embarrassing ONE block to the ER, where they were waiting with a wheelchair.
Time passed, family came, I was delusional with pain, and after 38 and a half hours of labor they discovered my pelvis was too narrow for delivery, so they had to do a c-section.
And thus arrived Evangeline Rose.
And now you all know why I've been absent so long. We're still adjusting, emotions are still running high with my boyfriend because of the initial no-kids-ever agreement, but it's gradually coming together.
Jesus that was a long journal.
TLDR; I didn't know I was pregnant and had a baby. x)
celebration! $10 line art, all day today only!
Posted 14 years agoFor some reason that I'm not questioning, my phone is still on!
Therefore I still have internet- so I am celebrating and hoping to raise some money for the bill by offering $10 line art today only!!
Please help if you can, and if you can't, please spread the word ;)
<3 you all!!!
Therefore I still have internet- so I am celebrating and hoping to raise some money for the bill by offering $10 line art today only!!
Please help if you can, and if you can't, please spread the word ;)
<3 you all!!!
ugh. help? :/
Posted 14 years agoSob story.
So, my internet access is on my phone- I don't have any method of internet other than my phone. My source of income, which is YOU guys, is online. My phone is being disconnected tomorrow cause I can't afford the freakin phone bill, which is over $150 because it includes the initial activation fee.
That's right, my new phone is already being turned off. I suck.
If anyone can help, you will be thoroughly rewarded with arts and my love, as well as cookies if you want XD
Sorry for begging... I wouldn't if I didn't have to. :(
So, my internet access is on my phone- I don't have any method of internet other than my phone. My source of income, which is YOU guys, is online. My phone is being disconnected tomorrow cause I can't afford the freakin phone bill, which is over $150 because it includes the initial activation fee.
That's right, my new phone is already being turned off. I suck.
If anyone can help, you will be thoroughly rewarded with arts and my love, as well as cookies if you want XD
Sorry for begging... I wouldn't if I didn't have to. :(
