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HTTYD Live action...
Posted 4 months agoSo... I went back, I found my original journal post about watching the original HTTYD, over 15 years ago now...
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1295067/
I loved HTTYD. I love it still. Its one of my top movies of all time without a doubt. It's an incredible movie, and it is still my most watched-in-theatre movie. I ended up watching it in multiple theatres, in multiple cities.
That said... This new live action one is, in my opinion, entirely pointless in its existence. Yes, I just got back from it. All I can take away from it is that it was created for money. For greed. It adds nothing to the original and in some cases just seemed... weird, but that's because I'm such a fan of the original.
There are a few vaguely altered lines, and there is a bit more, uh... character building around the young characters, like Astrid and SnotLout. Toothless looks eerily human in some shots. But unless Im remembering the original wrong, this remake is basically line-for-line, shot-for-shot the same.
Maybe because I'm 15 years older now, but it didn't grip me. The magic of the original wasnt there for this. There were a few moments where the same emotions registered as they did before, but nowhere near as strong, and always just kind of tempered by the fact that I knew exactly what would happen and what the next line was.
If I now had to choose which I preferred, which I would rather watch over and over and over again... Definitely the original, every time, without hesitation. Not to say the acting was bad in the live action remake, either, but there is something to be said for the fact that with CGI, you can literally make the characters on screen act or express themselves as perfectly as you want, or even as cartoony as you want. The lines were delivered slightly better in some places in the original, too.
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1295067/
I loved HTTYD. I love it still. Its one of my top movies of all time without a doubt. It's an incredible movie, and it is still my most watched-in-theatre movie. I ended up watching it in multiple theatres, in multiple cities.
That said... This new live action one is, in my opinion, entirely pointless in its existence. Yes, I just got back from it. All I can take away from it is that it was created for money. For greed. It adds nothing to the original and in some cases just seemed... weird, but that's because I'm such a fan of the original.
There are a few vaguely altered lines, and there is a bit more, uh... character building around the young characters, like Astrid and SnotLout. Toothless looks eerily human in some shots. But unless Im remembering the original wrong, this remake is basically line-for-line, shot-for-shot the same.
Maybe because I'm 15 years older now, but it didn't grip me. The magic of the original wasnt there for this. There were a few moments where the same emotions registered as they did before, but nowhere near as strong, and always just kind of tempered by the fact that I knew exactly what would happen and what the next line was.
If I now had to choose which I preferred, which I would rather watch over and over and over again... Definitely the original, every time, without hesitation. Not to say the acting was bad in the live action remake, either, but there is something to be said for the fact that with CGI, you can literally make the characters on screen act or express themselves as perfectly as you want, or even as cartoony as you want. The lines were delivered slightly better in some places in the original, too.
An update concerning previous journal
Posted 6 months agoMy last journal was not a happy or pleasant one and I understand there are folks out there that were concerned about it. I am sincerely appreciative of that fact and the support and love that was shown to me during the rough times. Truly and deeply, thank you.
As for now... well, it has been a topsy-turvy few months so far in 2025. My employer allowed me the time I needed to recover as well, thankfully, and I need to express that the fact I'm protected by a union as well helped me immensely in having the support financially to be able to work on my own mental and physical health. I know I am one of the luckiest around, because I have such a stable position in employment, but moreso because I have the best friends and family one could ever ask for or hope for.
Since my last journal I've seen a therapist to help deal with some of those things that brought me to such a low point mentally. I've stopped using cannabis altogether, which dumped me into a state of cannabis withdrawal, and exacerbated the depression to the point I agreed with my doctor that it was time to get on anti-depressants. Teva-Sertraline, to be specific, and for anyone that might know of the drug. It was a difficult decision to make, to accept taking anti-depressants, but a needed one at the time.
The first few weeks taking it, I was absolutely exhausted and sleepy all day, every day. It's a medication that has the effect of causing drowsiness and is not an 'upper' like prozac. And because of this I wasn't sure it was the right one for me, since its side-effects were worse than the depression, or so it felt. But my doctor encouraged me to try another week or two on it, explaining that those side-effects normally diminish as my body gets used to it. Sure enough, they did, and now I am back to a much more stable and better place. I'm on the minimum daily dosage of sertraline, and things are going well despite having periods where I still feel exceptionally tired.
Tired, and I have other side effects that still affect me, but are worth dealing with. For one, anger. I don't get nearly so angry as I used to be, and I actually miss that. The medication has taken the edge off, and I never viewed anger as a bad thing, only something that had the potential to be bad if it pushed you to do negative things. I enjoyed the energy that anger could give me, the emotion itself giving me a bit of glee that accompanied it. But now... rather than getting angry at things, I just don't care. I'm much more meh. It doesn't feel like there is anything worth getting angry over.
That said, I've been able to recover and resume my normal life, for the most part. My work hours have resumed back to full time, my schedule is back to what it was, and my mental state is better. I feel... okay. While I may not be super happy with my job as it is, such is life and I will continue to put up with life and find comfort in my friends and family that have shown me such a incredible amount of care that I will forevermore be deeply grateful for. Not everyone is as blessed as I am, and I will do my best to never take that fact for granted.
As for cannabis... I actually do miss getting high. I do miss using it for relaxing, and the sensations it could bring to be high. However, in MY case, the downer side of it was making my own mental hangups 10x worse in the days after using it. Over the course of last Christmas I went way overboard, and experienced a horrid time likely due to that, after going back to work. I've not touched the stuff since January, and while I don't rule out using it again in the future, I will not go back to the way I was using it before. For some folks, cannabis is a massive boon. For me... I got carried away and went too hard on it. I see that now, and I like to think I've learned from my mistakes.
That is one thing I try to focus on in my current life. Learning from mistakes. Life is a long process of learning, from all experiences, and become a better person over time due to that. Mistakes are natural, they happen, and they are nothing to be ashamed of. But it is up to each of us to learn and adapt. Such is my view, at least.
TLDR; I'm doing much better now, I'm on anti-depressant medications and have resumed full time work. I thank all of my friends and family for the support and love and care they have afforded me these past few months, and through my life.
As for now... well, it has been a topsy-turvy few months so far in 2025. My employer allowed me the time I needed to recover as well, thankfully, and I need to express that the fact I'm protected by a union as well helped me immensely in having the support financially to be able to work on my own mental and physical health. I know I am one of the luckiest around, because I have such a stable position in employment, but moreso because I have the best friends and family one could ever ask for or hope for.
Since my last journal I've seen a therapist to help deal with some of those things that brought me to such a low point mentally. I've stopped using cannabis altogether, which dumped me into a state of cannabis withdrawal, and exacerbated the depression to the point I agreed with my doctor that it was time to get on anti-depressants. Teva-Sertraline, to be specific, and for anyone that might know of the drug. It was a difficult decision to make, to accept taking anti-depressants, but a needed one at the time.
The first few weeks taking it, I was absolutely exhausted and sleepy all day, every day. It's a medication that has the effect of causing drowsiness and is not an 'upper' like prozac. And because of this I wasn't sure it was the right one for me, since its side-effects were worse than the depression, or so it felt. But my doctor encouraged me to try another week or two on it, explaining that those side-effects normally diminish as my body gets used to it. Sure enough, they did, and now I am back to a much more stable and better place. I'm on the minimum daily dosage of sertraline, and things are going well despite having periods where I still feel exceptionally tired.
Tired, and I have other side effects that still affect me, but are worth dealing with. For one, anger. I don't get nearly so angry as I used to be, and I actually miss that. The medication has taken the edge off, and I never viewed anger as a bad thing, only something that had the potential to be bad if it pushed you to do negative things. I enjoyed the energy that anger could give me, the emotion itself giving me a bit of glee that accompanied it. But now... rather than getting angry at things, I just don't care. I'm much more meh. It doesn't feel like there is anything worth getting angry over.
That said, I've been able to recover and resume my normal life, for the most part. My work hours have resumed back to full time, my schedule is back to what it was, and my mental state is better. I feel... okay. While I may not be super happy with my job as it is, such is life and I will continue to put up with life and find comfort in my friends and family that have shown me such a incredible amount of care that I will forevermore be deeply grateful for. Not everyone is as blessed as I am, and I will do my best to never take that fact for granted.
As for cannabis... I actually do miss getting high. I do miss using it for relaxing, and the sensations it could bring to be high. However, in MY case, the downer side of it was making my own mental hangups 10x worse in the days after using it. Over the course of last Christmas I went way overboard, and experienced a horrid time likely due to that, after going back to work. I've not touched the stuff since January, and while I don't rule out using it again in the future, I will not go back to the way I was using it before. For some folks, cannabis is a massive boon. For me... I got carried away and went too hard on it. I see that now, and I like to think I've learned from my mistakes.
That is one thing I try to focus on in my current life. Learning from mistakes. Life is a long process of learning, from all experiences, and become a better person over time due to that. Mistakes are natural, they happen, and they are nothing to be ashamed of. But it is up to each of us to learn and adapt. Such is my view, at least.
TLDR; I'm doing much better now, I'm on anti-depressant medications and have resumed full time work. I thank all of my friends and family for the support and love and care they have afforded me these past few months, and through my life.
The grumpiest of times, so far! ... Chapter 1?
Posted 9 months agoIt has been a while since I put my feelings into words for people to see, more than just complaining and venting to specific friends all the time. But it has been helpful to me, in the past, to just... voice what's going on in my head and let the void hear it. If you wanna listen (read) about what actually goes on in this gryph's head, feel free, as I'm just gonna spew a bunch of psycho nonsense here and some may even make sense! Though this is all just a matter of dumping a lot of my recent thoughts and moods onto a page, not edited or filtered, just said as the thoughts rush through.
Starting off with the heavy stuff... depression. Am I depressed? Yes, I believe I am, and I believe most people are nowadays, too. It may be a product of our society, or culture, or environment. It may be just the way I grew up and developed. I don't honestly know.
I do know how atrocious it feels though, living life and seeing no happiness to come, no joy to look forward to, no light at the end of the tunnel. Where you are simply alive, and existing, but that's all you can handle doing. Thoughts feel like something to be dispelled and pushed away, because thinking about anything at all just leads to more depression and grumpiness. When everything your brain can conjure is negative and makes you feel worse.
That, currently speaking, is where I'm at lately. For some months I've been feeling this way, some days better than others, but I have honestly started trying to think less. A good friend told me I need to stop overthinking things because I used to just analyze everything, all the time. Everything. Every word I said, every action I took. How much time I spent with each friend, trying to equally distribute my time to each friend individually, to show everyone I cared about them by just... being around for people, spending time with friends, etc. And that was exhausting, as I would work myself up into anxiety just by thinking 'oh no, I NEED to spend my time with XXXX person because they will get offended or insulted if I dont!'
That was only made worse as I started to resent spending time with people, because of this perceived obligation. And not just in spending time with other people, but time spent analyzing my own thoughts and actions to the very minute details. I didn't have conversations that I didn't mull over in my mind a hundred times over, feeling regret or shame for any 'mistake' I made, if I stumbled over a single word, if I said the 'wrong' thing, if I made myself look stupid.
I was actually basing all my behaviour on trying to be the right person. Trying to be a respectable, personable, cheerful gentleman that people looked to and said 'that's a good man.' Doing everything I could to make no mistakes, and present myself as a proper mature adult with everything sorted.
This was coupled with my personal view of myself shifting towards Sherlock-ism. As in, I was beginning to view myself as if I was like Sherlock Holmes. Analyzing anything, yet at the same time being completely inept with actual human emotion and empathy. I have intelligence, I feel, but that only helps in making my brain conjure terrible ideas of how I'm a total piece of shit anyways. That or again, pick apart every interaction I have with everyone, all the time. If I wasn't actively engaged with someone in a game or conversation, my mind had time to mull things over, and that inevitably turned into me being irritated by my own thoughts and actions.
This is just a part of the issue, though. I've spent the past couple years trying so desperately to 'better myself' in any way I could. Altering my behaviour, trying to develop habits and routines that would be considered 'good' or 'beneficial.' Things I had taken to assuming were negative or bad. So much of my focus has been on trying to improve myself, as a person. Very introspective and constantly assessing what I could reasonably do to be a 'better person,' either through review of my actions, watching others as role models or anti-role models, and what I felt my friends deserved from me.
This did not always go according to plan, though, and it was a point of focus that I dont know was truly beneficial to my own personal growth. At this particular point, I would say it did more harm than good as I racked up so many insecurities and my self confidence has deteriorated considerably just from inspecting all the bad aspects of my behaviour and life. And that fed into itself, bringing me down further into depression while convincing me that I truly do suck, at everything, at life itself.
Which in itself is weird, because I also feel like a very capable and responsible adult. I have a good mind, I have a capable body. I've got a stable job and income and housing, for now. I have a loving family and wonderful friends. There are so very few things that I actually have to complain or concern myself over, except these things that lurk in my mind, haunting me, whispering terrible things in the back of my mind, demoralizing me.
But all in all, my life is actually very comfortable! Its just the mental strain of existing in this world, at this time, with all these stupid things going on. Yes, everyone knows we live in interesting times, and the media isn't helping, and yadda yadda. Yeah, those are the general things that everyone deals with. But I personally have certain ticks and personality quirks or something, I'm sure there is a proper term but I can't think of it right now.
But what I mean to say is that I personally take some things very hard. One of these things is the feeling of being outside of the loop, or not included in the 'cool kids club.' I have done some nasty things in the past, long past and more recently, in order to try and jealously keep my friends, MY friends. No idea where this stems from but its a behaviour I've never quite managed to quell entirely, and it doesn't do anything helpful, only hurts myself and my friends. I don't WANT to feel these emotions of jealousy and envy, but it's just not something I control, though it has gotten easier to keep somewhat in check.
A personal demon. One that as of this moment, I still feel as I find that I have to watch a friend taking part in raids in an MMO, while knowing I will likely never get the chance to join them in such endeavours due to my work schedule. So here I am, watching, wanting to participate, wanting to join in the 'cool kids club' and simply being unable to. Which, in some ways, makes it feel so so much worse, since I have nothing to direct my anger towards. Nothing and no one. Just life itself has thrown this situation at my feet and told me to deal with it. And when I'm already feeling down and depressed, I don't have the strength to maintain my emotions, at all, so I've just been absolutely torn up and broken down over this.
Which, once again, leads me to feel pathetic and lame. Its a minor issue, it shouldn't be something to get this worked up over. Yet... the human mind is a very strange thing, and complicated well beyond most human understanding. So I get in this depressed mood, mind dwelling on the situation and whatever solutions I can find, over a matter that, logically, is not worth getting worked up over. I can't change this situation, and it doesn't detract from my happiness or life in any way, yet my brain ties itself in a knot over it, just because its a weak, squishy mass of flesh and electrical impulses.
There are many more thoughts rambling around in my head and I wish to get them out. For another journal perhaps. Enough stupid gryphon mental-dump for now. Once upon a time, long ago, I used Live Journal as my social media, venting, journal use. Now, though... this will suffice. Some part of me is already screaming not to put this public, don't post this, it will only serve to bite me in the ass later. Yet, in this state... the urge to do something I might regret, something more than just ignoring the situation, is too strong.
I hope that if someone reads this, they may gain some insight into how my mind works. And maybe someone can even find some comfort, in realizing they share some of these quirks or concerns and they are not alone. I'm not against offers of advice, though it will always be at my discretion which advice I listen to...
And I must end this with an apology. Its only right, as I am Canadian. But it will always be, most sincerely, in the essence of my being to apologize, for the very idea of putting my friends in discomfort or distress is exceptionally off-putting. There is no reality in which I wish to be a burden, detriment, or negative presence in anyone's life, let alone my dear friends. Nothing but the best of wishes for all of them, and I hope that my friends know that it is for them that I keep going.
(ps. even saying that, my mind is analyzing that single sentence and thinking 'I hope this doesn't make anyone feel obliged to be my friend' and 'Am I unwittingly and unintentionally doing some emotional manipulation by complaining about this stuff and placing my woes in the laps of my friends?' Seriously. That is how my brain works. Alllll the time.)
Starting off with the heavy stuff... depression. Am I depressed? Yes, I believe I am, and I believe most people are nowadays, too. It may be a product of our society, or culture, or environment. It may be just the way I grew up and developed. I don't honestly know.
I do know how atrocious it feels though, living life and seeing no happiness to come, no joy to look forward to, no light at the end of the tunnel. Where you are simply alive, and existing, but that's all you can handle doing. Thoughts feel like something to be dispelled and pushed away, because thinking about anything at all just leads to more depression and grumpiness. When everything your brain can conjure is negative and makes you feel worse.
That, currently speaking, is where I'm at lately. For some months I've been feeling this way, some days better than others, but I have honestly started trying to think less. A good friend told me I need to stop overthinking things because I used to just analyze everything, all the time. Everything. Every word I said, every action I took. How much time I spent with each friend, trying to equally distribute my time to each friend individually, to show everyone I cared about them by just... being around for people, spending time with friends, etc. And that was exhausting, as I would work myself up into anxiety just by thinking 'oh no, I NEED to spend my time with XXXX person because they will get offended or insulted if I dont!'
That was only made worse as I started to resent spending time with people, because of this perceived obligation. And not just in spending time with other people, but time spent analyzing my own thoughts and actions to the very minute details. I didn't have conversations that I didn't mull over in my mind a hundred times over, feeling regret or shame for any 'mistake' I made, if I stumbled over a single word, if I said the 'wrong' thing, if I made myself look stupid.
I was actually basing all my behaviour on trying to be the right person. Trying to be a respectable, personable, cheerful gentleman that people looked to and said 'that's a good man.' Doing everything I could to make no mistakes, and present myself as a proper mature adult with everything sorted.
This was coupled with my personal view of myself shifting towards Sherlock-ism. As in, I was beginning to view myself as if I was like Sherlock Holmes. Analyzing anything, yet at the same time being completely inept with actual human emotion and empathy. I have intelligence, I feel, but that only helps in making my brain conjure terrible ideas of how I'm a total piece of shit anyways. That or again, pick apart every interaction I have with everyone, all the time. If I wasn't actively engaged with someone in a game or conversation, my mind had time to mull things over, and that inevitably turned into me being irritated by my own thoughts and actions.
This is just a part of the issue, though. I've spent the past couple years trying so desperately to 'better myself' in any way I could. Altering my behaviour, trying to develop habits and routines that would be considered 'good' or 'beneficial.' Things I had taken to assuming were negative or bad. So much of my focus has been on trying to improve myself, as a person. Very introspective and constantly assessing what I could reasonably do to be a 'better person,' either through review of my actions, watching others as role models or anti-role models, and what I felt my friends deserved from me.
This did not always go according to plan, though, and it was a point of focus that I dont know was truly beneficial to my own personal growth. At this particular point, I would say it did more harm than good as I racked up so many insecurities and my self confidence has deteriorated considerably just from inspecting all the bad aspects of my behaviour and life. And that fed into itself, bringing me down further into depression while convincing me that I truly do suck, at everything, at life itself.
Which in itself is weird, because I also feel like a very capable and responsible adult. I have a good mind, I have a capable body. I've got a stable job and income and housing, for now. I have a loving family and wonderful friends. There are so very few things that I actually have to complain or concern myself over, except these things that lurk in my mind, haunting me, whispering terrible things in the back of my mind, demoralizing me.
But all in all, my life is actually very comfortable! Its just the mental strain of existing in this world, at this time, with all these stupid things going on. Yes, everyone knows we live in interesting times, and the media isn't helping, and yadda yadda. Yeah, those are the general things that everyone deals with. But I personally have certain ticks and personality quirks or something, I'm sure there is a proper term but I can't think of it right now.
But what I mean to say is that I personally take some things very hard. One of these things is the feeling of being outside of the loop, or not included in the 'cool kids club.' I have done some nasty things in the past, long past and more recently, in order to try and jealously keep my friends, MY friends. No idea where this stems from but its a behaviour I've never quite managed to quell entirely, and it doesn't do anything helpful, only hurts myself and my friends. I don't WANT to feel these emotions of jealousy and envy, but it's just not something I control, though it has gotten easier to keep somewhat in check.
A personal demon. One that as of this moment, I still feel as I find that I have to watch a friend taking part in raids in an MMO, while knowing I will likely never get the chance to join them in such endeavours due to my work schedule. So here I am, watching, wanting to participate, wanting to join in the 'cool kids club' and simply being unable to. Which, in some ways, makes it feel so so much worse, since I have nothing to direct my anger towards. Nothing and no one. Just life itself has thrown this situation at my feet and told me to deal with it. And when I'm already feeling down and depressed, I don't have the strength to maintain my emotions, at all, so I've just been absolutely torn up and broken down over this.
Which, once again, leads me to feel pathetic and lame. Its a minor issue, it shouldn't be something to get this worked up over. Yet... the human mind is a very strange thing, and complicated well beyond most human understanding. So I get in this depressed mood, mind dwelling on the situation and whatever solutions I can find, over a matter that, logically, is not worth getting worked up over. I can't change this situation, and it doesn't detract from my happiness or life in any way, yet my brain ties itself in a knot over it, just because its a weak, squishy mass of flesh and electrical impulses.
There are many more thoughts rambling around in my head and I wish to get them out. For another journal perhaps. Enough stupid gryphon mental-dump for now. Once upon a time, long ago, I used Live Journal as my social media, venting, journal use. Now, though... this will suffice. Some part of me is already screaming not to put this public, don't post this, it will only serve to bite me in the ass later. Yet, in this state... the urge to do something I might regret, something more than just ignoring the situation, is too strong.
I hope that if someone reads this, they may gain some insight into how my mind works. And maybe someone can even find some comfort, in realizing they share some of these quirks or concerns and they are not alone. I'm not against offers of advice, though it will always be at my discretion which advice I listen to...
And I must end this with an apology. Its only right, as I am Canadian. But it will always be, most sincerely, in the essence of my being to apologize, for the very idea of putting my friends in discomfort or distress is exceptionally off-putting. There is no reality in which I wish to be a burden, detriment, or negative presence in anyone's life, let alone my dear friends. Nothing but the best of wishes for all of them, and I hope that my friends know that it is for them that I keep going.
(ps. even saying that, my mind is analyzing that single sentence and thinking 'I hope this doesn't make anyone feel obliged to be my friend' and 'Am I unwittingly and unintentionally doing some emotional manipulation by complaining about this stuff and placing my woes in the laps of my friends?' Seriously. That is how my brain works. Alllll the time.)
Villain Arc
Posted 2 years agoI feel like I might be heading into mine.
Each new day brings new reasons for me to just be disgusted with the people on this planet, and I find myself shaking my head, groaning, or just laughing in disbelief at the garbage that people do to each other. I teeter closer and closer to hoping for the collapse of everything as society, and people, seem intent on being the dumbest versions of themselves with zero tolerance or compassion or even the slightest respect for the other people around them, let alone animals or the planet.
Each new day I grow further sick and tired of humans as a whole. Society itself seems intent on coming up with bullshit rules and judging other people on this arbitrary values people apply, while more than half the population languishes in hunger, poverty, or despair. We've come up with methods for judging peoples worth based on any number of insane, pointless, singular facets of a persons existence, and as this ideology spreads it becomes more toxic and detrimental to people as a whole.
Mental health has become a huge talking point, with awareness of it being raised constantly. Important! But who dictates what is good or bad in terms of mental health? We lump feelings together and claim they are 'negative emotions' but according to whom? 'Experts?' Anger is a negative emotion, they say, and because they say so we all treat it as such without examining further. Just trust the 'experts' that know nothing more than we do anyways.
'Success' in modern life is dictated not by happiness, but by financial gain and security. By having a romantic relationship with someone. By eventually becoming that cliché suit and tie wearing shmuck that sits in a tower of glass, raking in money and hoarding it for no reason other than to say you have it.
Focus on sexual escapades is as high as ever, with terms like 'incel' and the culture to go with it rising in usage, spreading further in the world and affecting peoples ability to just be people, be themselves, be happy. Theres a deep-rooted belief that sex is everything, and if you cant find a mate then you dont deserve to live, let alone be happy. That you are worthless as a human being if you arent fucking around every day of the year. And people buy into it. Its sickening to me that as intelligent as someone can be, they can still end up trapped in this mindset of sex > all.
Im sick of all of this. Im sick of how stupid the world seems to be. How we could be helping each other and yet we continue to break each other down to lift ourselves up. It is draining to deal with rampant stupidity on a daily basis. Its exhausting to exist in this world so centered on categorizing and judging people based on a singular part of their life or personality. Its tiresome to be constantly shown how the world at large is seemingly at war with itself for the sake of a few dollars trading hands here and there.
Meanwhile, I am completely impotent. I dont WANT to do anything to anyone else. I dont even want to exist outside of my limited friend-bubble. The world can go fuck off for the rest of eternity and leave me alone. All the world's preconceived notions of what is right or wrong. Of what is good or bad for a person and their health. Judging people based on their hobbies or if they make one slip-up in a public speech or tweet. Deciding if a person's life has any value based entirely on how many people theyve fucked, or how many zeroes they have in their bank account statement. Its all insane.
Humanity doesnt deserve this planet. And while Im personally not going to do anything about it, I no longer give a fuck if all of society collapses into an apocalypse and disappears. I sink further into apathy each day that passes. In another 50 years I wont even be around, and the planet can do its own thing. Leave me be, let me enjoy what time I have.
And if this all seems like a negative attitude to have, consider those thoughts youre having. Consider who told you these thoughts are negative. Why do you think this attitude is a bad thing. Think. THINK! Is it truly negative, or is this just parroting what the supposed 'experts' have dictated, and following along with their way of thought. How much of our perception of good or bad is based on what we learn as children? Why not decide for yourself what a negative emotion is, or what a positive one is, too. It is not anger in itself that causes harm, but the actions we take while angry. But you cannot tell me honestly that people do not cause pain, suffering or harm while feeling joy, happiness, or delight. The atrocities committed to fellow people in the name of 'love.' So called positive emotions. What, because those emotions are pleasant to feel? So is anger, when you frame it that way.
Free yourself from the limited mindset that society seeks to put you in.
Oh my goodness, I sound insane. I may have lost it. And yet I dont need help, because Im still very much alive and doing my thing. I enjoy my time as well as I can. I have a smile on my face, because I am confident I have things in my own life sorted out. Im living comfortably and not extravagantly. I have the means to help those I love. I do not want for more, because I already have everything I desire apart from time, to spend freely and willingly with my dear friends and family. I may experience swings in mood, but these need not be bad things, just because some twit somewhere dictated them to be. Make your own choices, and stop fucking up other peoples lives for your own gains.
/rant
Each new day brings new reasons for me to just be disgusted with the people on this planet, and I find myself shaking my head, groaning, or just laughing in disbelief at the garbage that people do to each other. I teeter closer and closer to hoping for the collapse of everything as society, and people, seem intent on being the dumbest versions of themselves with zero tolerance or compassion or even the slightest respect for the other people around them, let alone animals or the planet.
Each new day I grow further sick and tired of humans as a whole. Society itself seems intent on coming up with bullshit rules and judging other people on this arbitrary values people apply, while more than half the population languishes in hunger, poverty, or despair. We've come up with methods for judging peoples worth based on any number of insane, pointless, singular facets of a persons existence, and as this ideology spreads it becomes more toxic and detrimental to people as a whole.
Mental health has become a huge talking point, with awareness of it being raised constantly. Important! But who dictates what is good or bad in terms of mental health? We lump feelings together and claim they are 'negative emotions' but according to whom? 'Experts?' Anger is a negative emotion, they say, and because they say so we all treat it as such without examining further. Just trust the 'experts' that know nothing more than we do anyways.
'Success' in modern life is dictated not by happiness, but by financial gain and security. By having a romantic relationship with someone. By eventually becoming that cliché suit and tie wearing shmuck that sits in a tower of glass, raking in money and hoarding it for no reason other than to say you have it.
Focus on sexual escapades is as high as ever, with terms like 'incel' and the culture to go with it rising in usage, spreading further in the world and affecting peoples ability to just be people, be themselves, be happy. Theres a deep-rooted belief that sex is everything, and if you cant find a mate then you dont deserve to live, let alone be happy. That you are worthless as a human being if you arent fucking around every day of the year. And people buy into it. Its sickening to me that as intelligent as someone can be, they can still end up trapped in this mindset of sex > all.
Im sick of all of this. Im sick of how stupid the world seems to be. How we could be helping each other and yet we continue to break each other down to lift ourselves up. It is draining to deal with rampant stupidity on a daily basis. Its exhausting to exist in this world so centered on categorizing and judging people based on a singular part of their life or personality. Its tiresome to be constantly shown how the world at large is seemingly at war with itself for the sake of a few dollars trading hands here and there.
Meanwhile, I am completely impotent. I dont WANT to do anything to anyone else. I dont even want to exist outside of my limited friend-bubble. The world can go fuck off for the rest of eternity and leave me alone. All the world's preconceived notions of what is right or wrong. Of what is good or bad for a person and their health. Judging people based on their hobbies or if they make one slip-up in a public speech or tweet. Deciding if a person's life has any value based entirely on how many people theyve fucked, or how many zeroes they have in their bank account statement. Its all insane.
Humanity doesnt deserve this planet. And while Im personally not going to do anything about it, I no longer give a fuck if all of society collapses into an apocalypse and disappears. I sink further into apathy each day that passes. In another 50 years I wont even be around, and the planet can do its own thing. Leave me be, let me enjoy what time I have.
And if this all seems like a negative attitude to have, consider those thoughts youre having. Consider who told you these thoughts are negative. Why do you think this attitude is a bad thing. Think. THINK! Is it truly negative, or is this just parroting what the supposed 'experts' have dictated, and following along with their way of thought. How much of our perception of good or bad is based on what we learn as children? Why not decide for yourself what a negative emotion is, or what a positive one is, too. It is not anger in itself that causes harm, but the actions we take while angry. But you cannot tell me honestly that people do not cause pain, suffering or harm while feeling joy, happiness, or delight. The atrocities committed to fellow people in the name of 'love.' So called positive emotions. What, because those emotions are pleasant to feel? So is anger, when you frame it that way.
Free yourself from the limited mindset that society seeks to put you in.
Oh my goodness, I sound insane. I may have lost it. And yet I dont need help, because Im still very much alive and doing my thing. I enjoy my time as well as I can. I have a smile on my face, because I am confident I have things in my own life sorted out. Im living comfortably and not extravagantly. I have the means to help those I love. I do not want for more, because I already have everything I desire apart from time, to spend freely and willingly with my dear friends and family. I may experience swings in mood, but these need not be bad things, just because some twit somewhere dictated them to be. Make your own choices, and stop fucking up other peoples lives for your own gains.
/rant
Streaming time! Dark Souls 2
Posted 2 years agoIve never said this here I dont think, but I do stream game play rather regularly. I recently replayed DS1, and now Ive been playing DS2. I'd be happy if folks were interested in joining me, watching me, providing me company!
https://www.twitch.tv/FireGryph/
https://www.twitch.tv/FireGryph/
Regarding Doom Eternal+DLC
Posted 5 years agoI managed to complete the main game and DLC now on Nightmare diff for each, but before I get into that, a brief rundown.
I played the main game originally on Ultra-Violence. Kinda like 'hard diff,' I guess with Nightmare being Very Hard and Ultra Nightmare being super-cheesy in that its the same as nightmare, but one life only. On my first play through on UV I used extra lives here and there, but I dont believe I ever had to restart from a checkpoint, I never died fully. THe first marauder killed me 5 or so times, but I have enough extra lives by then to power through.
I played some more of the game, such as master levels, on UV difficulty as well. Then, eventually, tried a few ultra-nightmare runs. The furthest I ever got was end of the second level, very very end... I died in lava with one enemy left to kill before the level was done. THough I doubt I was gonna go much further. I moved back to Nightmare diff and powered through the main game there, with plenty of deaths and a couple restarts from checkpoints as I ran out of lives. But I got it done.
When the DLC came out, I started it on Nightmare diff.... and I can readily say, that may have been a mistake at first. I was NOT expecting such a huge bump in difficulty. I died plenty even on the first of the three new levels, before things even really got started! But I carried on, I was determined, I was thrilled with the challenge. Death is not the end, it is simply a step on the path to victory. And now, Ive managed to work my way to finishing the DLC on nightmare difficulty too.
I feel awesome. I love it. I love that Ive done this, Ive completed that challenge. And thats the biggest thing about this game that I can praise. The feeling you get when you complete something youre stuck on, a challenge to overcome. The focus of the game is the arenas, the fights, and the developers know this. So when you die, you start just before that fight, rather than 5 hours back or having to redo a bunch of platforming. You can focus on how you died, and improving. The deaths can be sliiiightly frustrating, but not so much as to discourage you from trying again, unless you just feel done for the day. Which I got to at least once, I admit. When my head wasnt there and I was tired, I gave up at one arena and called it quits for the day.
And when I came back to it, I struggled again. BUt each time I felt 'I can do this. I just need to warm up, I just need to get better...' and so I did. In good time, I managed to get that arena down, I passed it and felt all the surge of awesomeness and excitement as does come with accomplishing something you struggled with. I defeated the challenge of that arena, and was rewarded with carrying on... to more challenges! But feeling like Ive improved.
And, well, I have. The game tests your personal skill. No one elses. YOURS. There is no having your game ruined by random teammates, or other players hacking or cheesing or any such. Just you, and a few bugs in the game, but mostly you. So when you make progress, you feel like YOU are doing better, because you are. If you die, you can go 'okay, that was not smart, I should do this instead,' and you learn and you get better until you win.
That there is the key to enjoying this game, in my opinion. The challenge it presents to the player, you. And the rewarding feeling you get when you defeat the hordes of Hell.
From a development standpoint, this game and especially the DLC is well laid out to teach you what you need to do and know slowly. They introduce a new enemy, let you fight it solo, then start throwing them into increasingly difficult battles. They let you see how platforms or such work before you are forced to risk yourself doing jumps or leaps of faith. Theres an old video on youtube that goes over this using Megaman X as an example, and using the word 'conveyance,' which I think id did a wonderful job with in Doom Eternal.
And now Im rambling again. I really just wanted to express some of this delight. Whew.
I played the main game originally on Ultra-Violence. Kinda like 'hard diff,' I guess with Nightmare being Very Hard and Ultra Nightmare being super-cheesy in that its the same as nightmare, but one life only. On my first play through on UV I used extra lives here and there, but I dont believe I ever had to restart from a checkpoint, I never died fully. THe first marauder killed me 5 or so times, but I have enough extra lives by then to power through.
I played some more of the game, such as master levels, on UV difficulty as well. Then, eventually, tried a few ultra-nightmare runs. The furthest I ever got was end of the second level, very very end... I died in lava with one enemy left to kill before the level was done. THough I doubt I was gonna go much further. I moved back to Nightmare diff and powered through the main game there, with plenty of deaths and a couple restarts from checkpoints as I ran out of lives. But I got it done.
When the DLC came out, I started it on Nightmare diff.... and I can readily say, that may have been a mistake at first. I was NOT expecting such a huge bump in difficulty. I died plenty even on the first of the three new levels, before things even really got started! But I carried on, I was determined, I was thrilled with the challenge. Death is not the end, it is simply a step on the path to victory. And now, Ive managed to work my way to finishing the DLC on nightmare difficulty too.
I feel awesome. I love it. I love that Ive done this, Ive completed that challenge. And thats the biggest thing about this game that I can praise. The feeling you get when you complete something youre stuck on, a challenge to overcome. The focus of the game is the arenas, the fights, and the developers know this. So when you die, you start just before that fight, rather than 5 hours back or having to redo a bunch of platforming. You can focus on how you died, and improving. The deaths can be sliiiightly frustrating, but not so much as to discourage you from trying again, unless you just feel done for the day. Which I got to at least once, I admit. When my head wasnt there and I was tired, I gave up at one arena and called it quits for the day.
And when I came back to it, I struggled again. BUt each time I felt 'I can do this. I just need to warm up, I just need to get better...' and so I did. In good time, I managed to get that arena down, I passed it and felt all the surge of awesomeness and excitement as does come with accomplishing something you struggled with. I defeated the challenge of that arena, and was rewarded with carrying on... to more challenges! But feeling like Ive improved.
And, well, I have. The game tests your personal skill. No one elses. YOURS. There is no having your game ruined by random teammates, or other players hacking or cheesing or any such. Just you, and a few bugs in the game, but mostly you. So when you make progress, you feel like YOU are doing better, because you are. If you die, you can go 'okay, that was not smart, I should do this instead,' and you learn and you get better until you win.
That there is the key to enjoying this game, in my opinion. The challenge it presents to the player, you. And the rewarding feeling you get when you defeat the hordes of Hell.
From a development standpoint, this game and especially the DLC is well laid out to teach you what you need to do and know slowly. They introduce a new enemy, let you fight it solo, then start throwing them into increasingly difficult battles. They let you see how platforms or such work before you are forced to risk yourself doing jumps or leaps of faith. Theres an old video on youtube that goes over this using Megaman X as an example, and using the word 'conveyance,' which I think id did a wonderful job with in Doom Eternal.
And now Im rambling again. I really just wanted to express some of this delight. Whew.
Rest in peace, dear MiniMike
Posted 5 years agoI speak this from my most sincere feelings, but we truly lost a wonderful fellow in the passing of MiniMike. Having known him IRL, meeting him a number of times as a semi-local furry, and glad I could call him friend, its quite the shock to have heard the news some few hours ago, and its still sinking in. But as I reflect on my times interacting with him, both IRL and online, I cannot recall any time he wasnt considerate, caring, kind and compassionate. There was nothing but a desire to have, and to spread, joy that I saw from him, in all his endeavors and hobbies, and from the responses Ive already seen around the community and from my own heart, he will be sorely missed. Truly gone before his time.
My thoughts and prayers are with him, and his family, loved ones and friends. This is a great loss to many, and while I wasn't as close to him as some in the past few years, I will never forget him.
May he find the answers to his interstellar questions and spread joy through the universe in whatever form he now takes. Peace now, katdragon, and forever more.
My thoughts and prayers are with him, and his family, loved ones and friends. This is a great loss to many, and while I wasn't as close to him as some in the past few years, I will never forget him.
May he find the answers to his interstellar questions and spread joy through the universe in whatever form he now takes. Peace now, katdragon, and forever more.
The loss of a beloved feline companion
Posted 6 years agoSo I guess I can mention this, now that its been a couple hours or so. As I may have mentioned, my cat was at the vet, has been there since Saturday. Had to take her in because she wasnt eating or drinking as of about tuesday last week.
What they found was she had a large amount of blockage/constipation in her bowels. So they were treating for that. It was troublesome and quite backed up, built up. So theyve been slowly clearing it all away, and used a feeding tube to get food into her stomach.
Yesterday they said she was looking like she was getting quite a bit better. But today I got a call saying she was looking worse, much worse. And she had been vomiting and vomited up her feeding tube. PLus, on top of this, they still werent sure what caused the blockage nor the non-eating to begin with. The long term quality of her life was unknown, as much as her current ailments.
So after this talk with the , I made the call to have Princess put to sleep. Obviously it was hard, and they provided as much support as they could, but I felt the best choice was to let Princess rest. I did my best for her, and Im sorry I couldnt do more to give her the best life she couldve had. I feel like I did let her down, I feel terrible about it all, of course. I will miss her, I already do. And despite having been through the loss of animals before, with the birds Ive worked with, this is a far harder loss to deal with.
this is the first Ive cried, fully cried, in probably 20+ years. I cried a little when we lost a couple of the birds. But today has been far far rougher.
I appreciate the prayers and well wishes, anbd I have to believe that now Princess is finding her own peace and freedom.
What they found was she had a large amount of blockage/constipation in her bowels. So they were treating for that. It was troublesome and quite backed up, built up. So theyve been slowly clearing it all away, and used a feeding tube to get food into her stomach.
Yesterday they said she was looking like she was getting quite a bit better. But today I got a call saying she was looking worse, much worse. And she had been vomiting and vomited up her feeding tube. PLus, on top of this, they still werent sure what caused the blockage nor the non-eating to begin with. The long term quality of her life was unknown, as much as her current ailments.
So after this talk with the , I made the call to have Princess put to sleep. Obviously it was hard, and they provided as much support as they could, but I felt the best choice was to let Princess rest. I did my best for her, and Im sorry I couldnt do more to give her the best life she couldve had. I feel like I did let her down, I feel terrible about it all, of course. I will miss her, I already do. And despite having been through the loss of animals before, with the birds Ive worked with, this is a far harder loss to deal with.
this is the first Ive cried, fully cried, in probably 20+ years. I cried a little when we lost a couple of the birds. But today has been far far rougher.
I appreciate the prayers and well wishes, anbd I have to believe that now Princess is finding her own peace and freedom.
Counter-rumour-mongering
Posted 7 years agoYou know the saying 'fight fire with fire,' right?
I gotta spread some word here and hope others do the same. Lately, a friend has fallen under whispered rumour-mongering bullshittery and it has tarnished their reputation with a number of people that use the same hang-out spot. There are folks that have never met my friend before, but now refuse to meet them or talk to them at all because they 'heard ____ was a bad, shitty person.'
Of course, there are two sides to this coin. One one hand, if a good friend of mine warned me away from some asshat, I'd take that advice to heart because I trust my friends. But would I be the person to just flat out refuse to talk to someone based on the opinion of a friend? I hope not. And Im learning this lesson now, because now this good friend of mine is having that same thing happen to them.
This friend is fantastic as a person. Generous, caring, giving. Trusting. Any time they are active in public, they garner praise and people seem to enjoy their presence. And yet now this shit is happening, and theyve taken it so much to heart as to simply sign and log off all social internet activities and stopped coming around to any usual hangouts because they dont want to deal with the shit rumours that were being spread.
So please, if you catch wind of negative rumours of someone, dont just listen blindly and put up a brick wall in front of that persons face. Thats just being an asshole, worse than the shitty person that started the rumours.
And trust me, I want to know who started these current gossipy things. I want to know and have a chat with them to find out why on Earth they would do such a thing to someone else. If you have an issue with someone, dont just spread lies and slander. Fucking TALK to that person, you nimrod. WHY do you hate someone you've only had online interactions with? Are you jealous of their attention? Do you wish you got more time with them? Did they hurt you by signing off one night without saying goodbye? Maybe if you explain yourself, you can come to terms with each other and go your peaceful ways. Or, you can continue to be a shit-speckled fart-sniffer by lurking around in the darkness and spreading lies in hopes of defaming someone that means little to you or your life, you fucking troll.
I gotta spread some word here and hope others do the same. Lately, a friend has fallen under whispered rumour-mongering bullshittery and it has tarnished their reputation with a number of people that use the same hang-out spot. There are folks that have never met my friend before, but now refuse to meet them or talk to them at all because they 'heard ____ was a bad, shitty person.'
Of course, there are two sides to this coin. One one hand, if a good friend of mine warned me away from some asshat, I'd take that advice to heart because I trust my friends. But would I be the person to just flat out refuse to talk to someone based on the opinion of a friend? I hope not. And Im learning this lesson now, because now this good friend of mine is having that same thing happen to them.
This friend is fantastic as a person. Generous, caring, giving. Trusting. Any time they are active in public, they garner praise and people seem to enjoy their presence. And yet now this shit is happening, and theyve taken it so much to heart as to simply sign and log off all social internet activities and stopped coming around to any usual hangouts because they dont want to deal with the shit rumours that were being spread.
So please, if you catch wind of negative rumours of someone, dont just listen blindly and put up a brick wall in front of that persons face. Thats just being an asshole, worse than the shitty person that started the rumours.
And trust me, I want to know who started these current gossipy things. I want to know and have a chat with them to find out why on Earth they would do such a thing to someone else. If you have an issue with someone, dont just spread lies and slander. Fucking TALK to that person, you nimrod. WHY do you hate someone you've only had online interactions with? Are you jealous of their attention? Do you wish you got more time with them? Did they hurt you by signing off one night without saying goodbye? Maybe if you explain yourself, you can come to terms with each other and go your peaceful ways. Or, you can continue to be a shit-speckled fart-sniffer by lurking around in the darkness and spreading lies in hopes of defaming someone that means little to you or your life, you fucking troll.
Some clarification....
Posted 8 years agoOkay.... so it seems I need to be a bit more blunt, clear and just flat out explain this.
That previous journal? The one about the 'prey' label. It was all a joke. I dont actually feel anything wrong with the label at all. I have no qualms with being called 'prey' because that is how I roll.
To me, its just a word, a term used to signal your preference in an online, usually RP, setting. I actually enjoy being teased as prey. I find it fun to be taunted as such, even if ICly I might argue it because ICly I may be unwilling or deny that I am a snack for any predator. IRL, I dont refer to myself as prey, but if Im out in the wilds and some bear or cougar or whatever decides I look delicious, I cant exactly deny nature and the VERY DEFINITION OF THE WORD.
prey
noun
1. an animal that is hunted and killed by another for food.
The previous journal was meant as a sarcastic JOKE. I guess I am bad at this stuff, or just didnt expect people to take it so seriously.... But that is one of the sad parts. In this age, such concerns over political correctness or not stepping on toes or stepping around so lightly so as not to 'offend' anyone.
Here's the full truth. When I first learned that there was some big kerfuffle about the term 'herm' in regards to gender I was stupefied. Herm is short for hermaphrodite, is it not?
Hermaphrodite
noun
1. a person or animal having both male and female sex organs or other sexual characteristics, either abnormally or (in the case of some organisms) as the natural condition.
So how is that offensive? In any way? Ive never seen it used as a derogatory term, Ive never seen it said as an insult, not in any place Ive ever been online. To me its simply a thing you are, just like you, sitting behind your screen reading this, are human. I dont care if you want to say youre a cat/dog/wolf/moogle/dragon/chakat/slug/sergal on the inside, or whatever. I dont care if you say you are something else in spirit, or at heart. Your species IRL is human. Thats what you are. And you have whatever reproductive, sexual organs you have, be they male, female, both, or neither. if you have both, ta daa, youre a herm. Thats all. It doesnt matter where they are, what 'configuration' theyre in, nothing of the sort. Have you got a dick on your forehead, testes on your shoulder, and a vagina in your left foot? Congrats, you have both male and female sex organs, and thus youre a herm. Its not an insult, in my eyes, any more than calling someone male or female is an insult. And if you feel these are insulting, maybe YOU need to figure out why you think its bad to be any of these, because I sure as fuck dont have an issue with any gender, nor do I discriminate based on it.
So there are people out there that feel 'herm' is derogatory and we need new words now to suit people's specific needs? You want me to call you xe or ey or something? Bullshit. Im not changing the English language based on your prissy fucking desires. Im not learning a new pronoun for every special snowflake that drops into my life when we already have perfectly reasonable ones. And this goes for most any of these new words or terms, or old ones that people suddenly feel is too insulting for their tastes. Going by simple definitions here, you are what you are. Sorry not sorry.
And thats what I was getting at with the whole 'prey' discrimination journal. Obviously I didn't explain myself well enough. Maybe it makes more sense now. Maybe not. Whatever. Suffice to say Im not offended in the slightest when Im labelled as prey. To a predator, thats what I am. Food. In the great circle of life, Im prey to predators that have the strength to down me, and Im not a predator because I generally dont hunt for food, I buy it in the grocery store. In this realm of online fantasy fun and vore, we all get to find our place in the food chain again. I know where mine is, even if I deny it at times.
EDIT: Reading some of the comments on my other journal... it amuses me greatly how much I can simply change the word 'prey' to 'herm' and the same ideas remain in tact.
That previous journal? The one about the 'prey' label. It was all a joke. I dont actually feel anything wrong with the label at all. I have no qualms with being called 'prey' because that is how I roll.
To me, its just a word, a term used to signal your preference in an online, usually RP, setting. I actually enjoy being teased as prey. I find it fun to be taunted as such, even if ICly I might argue it because ICly I may be unwilling or deny that I am a snack for any predator. IRL, I dont refer to myself as prey, but if Im out in the wilds and some bear or cougar or whatever decides I look delicious, I cant exactly deny nature and the VERY DEFINITION OF THE WORD.
prey
noun
1. an animal that is hunted and killed by another for food.
The previous journal was meant as a sarcastic JOKE. I guess I am bad at this stuff, or just didnt expect people to take it so seriously.... But that is one of the sad parts. In this age, such concerns over political correctness or not stepping on toes or stepping around so lightly so as not to 'offend' anyone.
Here's the full truth. When I first learned that there was some big kerfuffle about the term 'herm' in regards to gender I was stupefied. Herm is short for hermaphrodite, is it not?
Hermaphrodite
noun
1. a person or animal having both male and female sex organs or other sexual characteristics, either abnormally or (in the case of some organisms) as the natural condition.
So how is that offensive? In any way? Ive never seen it used as a derogatory term, Ive never seen it said as an insult, not in any place Ive ever been online. To me its simply a thing you are, just like you, sitting behind your screen reading this, are human. I dont care if you want to say youre a cat/dog/wolf/moogle/dragon/chakat/slug/sergal on the inside, or whatever. I dont care if you say you are something else in spirit, or at heart. Your species IRL is human. Thats what you are. And you have whatever reproductive, sexual organs you have, be they male, female, both, or neither. if you have both, ta daa, youre a herm. Thats all. It doesnt matter where they are, what 'configuration' theyre in, nothing of the sort. Have you got a dick on your forehead, testes on your shoulder, and a vagina in your left foot? Congrats, you have both male and female sex organs, and thus youre a herm. Its not an insult, in my eyes, any more than calling someone male or female is an insult. And if you feel these are insulting, maybe YOU need to figure out why you think its bad to be any of these, because I sure as fuck dont have an issue with any gender, nor do I discriminate based on it.
So there are people out there that feel 'herm' is derogatory and we need new words now to suit people's specific needs? You want me to call you xe or ey or something? Bullshit. Im not changing the English language based on your prissy fucking desires. Im not learning a new pronoun for every special snowflake that drops into my life when we already have perfectly reasonable ones. And this goes for most any of these new words or terms, or old ones that people suddenly feel is too insulting for their tastes. Going by simple definitions here, you are what you are. Sorry not sorry.
And thats what I was getting at with the whole 'prey' discrimination journal. Obviously I didn't explain myself well enough. Maybe it makes more sense now. Maybe not. Whatever. Suffice to say Im not offended in the slightest when Im labelled as prey. To a predator, thats what I am. Food. In the great circle of life, Im prey to predators that have the strength to down me, and Im not a predator because I generally dont hunt for food, I buy it in the grocery store. In this realm of online fantasy fun and vore, we all get to find our place in the food chain again. I know where mine is, even if I deny it at times.
EDIT: Reading some of the comments on my other journal... it amuses me greatly how much I can simply change the word 'prey' to 'herm' and the same ideas remain in tact.
A stand against discrimination
Posted 8 years agoIts 2018. Its a new year.
Most anyone that follows me knows Im not generally one to be a SJW or whatever, I dont speak out about things much. Generally I just figured people need to tough up and stop taking things so seriously.
But this is a matter of importance that has bothered me for long enough. A point of contention that grew from a pet peeve into a real annoyance into something that legitimately causes me stress and concern almost every day now. It comes up so frequently that by now its serious personal issue, and if I dont at least get this off my chest I might break down instead.
The word that triggers me so terribly that my stomach knots and my hands shake is 'prey.'
Im sick of the label and all it insinuates. To think that people see me as this is disgusting. I hang around in various vore circles and this is just one of the terms they throw around like it means nothing, just another word to describe someone or their preferences. But I dont abide by that!
By calling someone 'prey' you demean them. You insinuate they are nothing more than food. That someone has no use except to be eaten.
By calling someone 'prey' you truly say that they are less than you. You are their better. The term itself is an insult of the highest order.
If you cant see me for who I am, and only as a steak or drumstick, then maybe you should get lost. I dont want to have you choosing what I am, thats for me to decide. What I am is my own choice and no one else can pick for me.
So thats what it is. 2018 will be my year to take up arms against this injustice, this discrimination, this insult! Down with the 'prey' label, forever!
Most anyone that follows me knows Im not generally one to be a SJW or whatever, I dont speak out about things much. Generally I just figured people need to tough up and stop taking things so seriously.
But this is a matter of importance that has bothered me for long enough. A point of contention that grew from a pet peeve into a real annoyance into something that legitimately causes me stress and concern almost every day now. It comes up so frequently that by now its serious personal issue, and if I dont at least get this off my chest I might break down instead.
The word that triggers me so terribly that my stomach knots and my hands shake is 'prey.'
Im sick of the label and all it insinuates. To think that people see me as this is disgusting. I hang around in various vore circles and this is just one of the terms they throw around like it means nothing, just another word to describe someone or their preferences. But I dont abide by that!
By calling someone 'prey' you demean them. You insinuate they are nothing more than food. That someone has no use except to be eaten.
By calling someone 'prey' you truly say that they are less than you. You are their better. The term itself is an insult of the highest order.
If you cant see me for who I am, and only as a steak or drumstick, then maybe you should get lost. I dont want to have you choosing what I am, thats for me to decide. What I am is my own choice and no one else can pick for me.
So thats what it is. 2018 will be my year to take up arms against this injustice, this discrimination, this insult! Down with the 'prey' label, forever!
Why am I awake?
Posted 9 years agoIts 8am, and Im awake. Ive been awake nearly 2 hours.
Oh right, its because I got no sleep night before, so was in bed early last night. That makes sense!
Anyways, I can write down some thoughts beteen league queues.
Im messed in the head, perhaps, but not really. We are all messed in the head. But I have an intense curiosity about BDSM sorts of things IRL, yet at the same time I could never bring myself to even begin to investigate such curiosities. Doesnt matter how interested I am and how much I enjoy things in RP, RL just... bugs me. I get all uncomfortable and shit when I see RL porn, real people. Gimp suits and latex on people and all, kinky sexual stuff with people, it all really bothers me, yet when it involves fantasy stuff, awwww yis.
Fucking people. Why they gotta be so people? 32 years old and I still dont like real porn stuff... even if I am horny as heck and get plenty of desire to do things...
Oh right, its because I got no sleep night before, so was in bed early last night. That makes sense!
Anyways, I can write down some thoughts beteen league queues.
Im messed in the head, perhaps, but not really. We are all messed in the head. But I have an intense curiosity about BDSM sorts of things IRL, yet at the same time I could never bring myself to even begin to investigate such curiosities. Doesnt matter how interested I am and how much I enjoy things in RP, RL just... bugs me. I get all uncomfortable and shit when I see RL porn, real people. Gimp suits and latex on people and all, kinky sexual stuff with people, it all really bothers me, yet when it involves fantasy stuff, awwww yis.
Fucking people. Why they gotta be so people? 32 years old and I still dont like real porn stuff... even if I am horny as heck and get plenty of desire to do things...
Animal paraphenalia for anthros
Posted 9 years agoIt seems odd to me to think of anthros in a seperate world using depictions of various animals for clothing or accessories or such. For example, imagine a world with all manner of anthros, from lions to otters to pigeons. Now in this world you have sports teams, and some team or another has a Panther as a mascot. Doesnt that seem a bit odd, to see a team full of deer wearing jerseys and such of a panther?
Or heraldry. Coats of arms. Engravings on shields. That sort of thing. Maybe Im a little off here, but it just feels weird to me to see such things.
Whatever,
Or heraldry. Coats of arms. Engravings on shields. That sort of thing. Maybe Im a little off here, but it just feels weird to me to see such things.
Whatever,
Sad days, no more rat tail.
Posted 9 years agoShaved it off. A shame. had that thing on the back of my head for years and years... and now, gone, because I need to spruce myself up for this stupid job search. Look my best, most profesional, presentable. Hmph. Oh well, its just hair, right? It grows back...
I do not understand...
Posted 9 years agoMuscles. like, overly muscles, buff people or characters. Body builders IRL confuse me, because to me its absolutely grotesque. And its not even for strength! Strong men are BIG men, generally, not... bulgy muscled, roided weirdos. But in terms of the fandom, the characters with zounds and zounds of muscles. So many that they cant see over their own pecs. I cannot fathom the allure of such, I simply cant. Again, if youre trying to be strong, youre kinda not doing it right, in realistic terms...
I had to get that out there. Sorry. This is not me trying to put down others kinks, its simply... I dont understand. Like many people dont understand vore, though there are always people willing to explain vore.
Oh, while Im at it, most piercings. Ick. Not my thing. Earrings are fine, but then stuff starts getting a little odd... ladders and nipple piercings and tongue and nose... lip is okay I suppose. so long as nothing is super crazy.
Man, I dont know why im saying this shit.
I had to get that out there. Sorry. This is not me trying to put down others kinks, its simply... I dont understand. Like many people dont understand vore, though there are always people willing to explain vore.
Oh, while Im at it, most piercings. Ick. Not my thing. Earrings are fine, but then stuff starts getting a little odd... ladders and nipple piercings and tongue and nose... lip is okay I suppose. so long as nothing is super crazy.
Man, I dont know why im saying this shit.
Fanfics/fan art grumpiness
Posted 9 years agoJust a thought that came to me again when I was watchign Zootopia once more, and its not a new one for me. Just a voice in me that I'm gonna let out and free from my mind.
People that do fanart/fan fics of characters they love. Or beloved characters from movies/cartoons/etc. If they enjoy the characters and love them so much to do art/stories of them, why is it that so often they ruin the actual character? Turning some innocent, sweet, happy, cheerful character into a sex-crazed kinky slut, for example. You loved the character as it is, then you turned it into something entirely different.
The notable characters are, of course, Judy Hopps, Toothless, Nala, and Po the panda.
And while you only see the sweet side of each character in a children's movie (except the villains,) it just rubs me the wrong way when I see these same characters ruined by repeated fan arts that put them in a different light, and its that itch in the back of my mind saying 'its not even the same character any more when you show them doing this and that...' When you've altered the character so much, why not make a new one? If youre going to represent a character, show them true to themselves, not true to what you wish they were. If you want to see a bunny/dragon/lioness/panda to be doing the things you fantasize about, its truly not that difficult to make a new, fresh character of your own that fits the bill!
Seriously, people, character creation isnt that difficult!
The itch was barely scratched when, a good number of year ago, I created a character iun a chatroom named 'toothless' and the profile simply read 'Im only taking this name so that others dont take it and tarnish the good name of Toothless.' Yes, I was, am, that petty. Not that it stops people from creating other variations on the name. Just made ME feel a little better.
Thats all I have to say. Carry on.
People that do fanart/fan fics of characters they love. Or beloved characters from movies/cartoons/etc. If they enjoy the characters and love them so much to do art/stories of them, why is it that so often they ruin the actual character? Turning some innocent, sweet, happy, cheerful character into a sex-crazed kinky slut, for example. You loved the character as it is, then you turned it into something entirely different.
The notable characters are, of course, Judy Hopps, Toothless, Nala, and Po the panda.
And while you only see the sweet side of each character in a children's movie (except the villains,) it just rubs me the wrong way when I see these same characters ruined by repeated fan arts that put them in a different light, and its that itch in the back of my mind saying 'its not even the same character any more when you show them doing this and that...' When you've altered the character so much, why not make a new one? If youre going to represent a character, show them true to themselves, not true to what you wish they were. If you want to see a bunny/dragon/lioness/panda to be doing the things you fantasize about, its truly not that difficult to make a new, fresh character of your own that fits the bill!
Seriously, people, character creation isnt that difficult!
The itch was barely scratched when, a good number of year ago, I created a character iun a chatroom named 'toothless' and the profile simply read 'Im only taking this name so that others dont take it and tarnish the good name of Toothless.' Yes, I was, am, that petty. Not that it stops people from creating other variations on the name. Just made ME feel a little better.
Thats all I have to say. Carry on.
Help with stuffed animal washings
Posted 9 years agoSo... I think I just overloaded the drier or something, but I put one of my larger cheetah plushies in the drier, high heat, and it came out rather matted and clumpy, the filling inside is a bit wonky and bunched, and its kinda of just... a mess.
So for those of you with knowhow, is there a decent way to fix this? ive heard with pillows you put them in the drier with tennis balls. Would that work here? I would hate to lose this cheetah to such lameness.... he also got somewhat discoloured, as did my mini squishable white owl. Im a bit grumpy about it all. but such is life!
Any help would be appreciated!
So for those of you with knowhow, is there a decent way to fix this? ive heard with pillows you put them in the drier with tennis balls. Would that work here? I would hate to lose this cheetah to such lameness.... he also got somewhat discoloured, as did my mini squishable white owl. Im a bit grumpy about it all. but such is life!
Any help would be appreciated!
Bedbug happenigns of 2016
Posted 9 years agoSo a few months ago I saw my first ever bed bug. In my apartment. FUUUUUCK, right?
So I battled them until this week, I finally gave in. I tried to control them myself but it obviously wasnt working, I was sloooowly getting an increasing population. Nothing like you see in pictures online or hear of, no giant nests or such. Just a few scattered. Most I ever saw in a single day was about 8, when I would strip down my mattress and bedding and all and really go on the hunt for em... usually saw none, but you just KNOW they are there. you feel a piece of lint on your leg, or a breeze tickle your arm, and you immediately think 'shit, bedbug!'
Fucking mental game, and it wore me down.
Anyways, Since 2 days ago I have run every piece of clothing and linen I own through the drier, hot temperature, for an hour. EVERYTHING. Some of my fuzzy pillows and some of my plushies are... not what they once were. Thats another thing. But I had about 15 large garbage bags full of stuff by the end, sitting in the middle of my apartment, sealed off and waiting for the exterminator.
Exterminator came in today. Had to get Princess (my cat) out of the apartment for 6 hours, and myself out for 6 hours, while he sprayed down everything to take care of what he could. he was impressed by my preparedness, which I always take pride in. My cleanup of aprtments when moving, and for this sort of thing, is just something I do. I hate having to pay extra, and not knowing what to expect, I do my best. Anyways, spent today running around, cleaning, taking out recycling and garbage and shopping and blah blah, just to eventually come back home, and start unpacking my shit. What a time sink.
Exterminator says that he may not have gotten every single one of the bedbugs, but the ones that he didn't get should find their way into the residue of the sspray and poison themselves. If Im still seeing them after 2-3 weeks, then I need to call up again. Time will tell... I sure hope this is the end of them, I want to sleep soundly again!
Well, as soundly as could be with my other issues. Feh.
So I battled them until this week, I finally gave in. I tried to control them myself but it obviously wasnt working, I was sloooowly getting an increasing population. Nothing like you see in pictures online or hear of, no giant nests or such. Just a few scattered. Most I ever saw in a single day was about 8, when I would strip down my mattress and bedding and all and really go on the hunt for em... usually saw none, but you just KNOW they are there. you feel a piece of lint on your leg, or a breeze tickle your arm, and you immediately think 'shit, bedbug!'
Fucking mental game, and it wore me down.
Anyways, Since 2 days ago I have run every piece of clothing and linen I own through the drier, hot temperature, for an hour. EVERYTHING. Some of my fuzzy pillows and some of my plushies are... not what they once were. Thats another thing. But I had about 15 large garbage bags full of stuff by the end, sitting in the middle of my apartment, sealed off and waiting for the exterminator.
Exterminator came in today. Had to get Princess (my cat) out of the apartment for 6 hours, and myself out for 6 hours, while he sprayed down everything to take care of what he could. he was impressed by my preparedness, which I always take pride in. My cleanup of aprtments when moving, and for this sort of thing, is just something I do. I hate having to pay extra, and not knowing what to expect, I do my best. Anyways, spent today running around, cleaning, taking out recycling and garbage and shopping and blah blah, just to eventually come back home, and start unpacking my shit. What a time sink.
Exterminator says that he may not have gotten every single one of the bedbugs, but the ones that he didn't get should find their way into the residue of the sspray and poison themselves. If Im still seeing them after 2-3 weeks, then I need to call up again. Time will tell... I sure hope this is the end of them, I want to sleep soundly again!
Well, as soundly as could be with my other issues. Feh.
Minor pet peeve to vent about
Posted 9 years agoI cant hold it in any longer, and I dont wanna rage at someone at a time or place that will have further repercussions.
I do not consider nekomimi, catgirl, foxboy things to be furry. Thats it. I said it.
If the character is an anime girl with cat ears and a tail and thats all, its NOT A DAMN CAT! If the character is a boy with mouse ears and a tail, ITS NOT A DAMN MOUSE!
It really really irritates me when these characters show up in places and act like theyre the animals they are in some way trying to be... It just does. Grrr! RRAWRWRGH! A catgirl is no more a cat than any of these body-modded IRL humans are the animals they are trying to look like. You can try and act like the animal, you can eat what that animal eats, but youre still a human. And thats fine! Nothing wrong with being human at all!
I do not consider nekomimi, catgirl, foxboy things to be furry. Thats it. I said it.
If the character is an anime girl with cat ears and a tail and thats all, its NOT A DAMN CAT! If the character is a boy with mouse ears and a tail, ITS NOT A DAMN MOUSE!
It really really irritates me when these characters show up in places and act like theyre the animals they are in some way trying to be... It just does. Grrr! RRAWRWRGH! A catgirl is no more a cat than any of these body-modded IRL humans are the animals they are trying to look like. You can try and act like the animal, you can eat what that animal eats, but youre still a human. And thats fine! Nothing wrong with being human at all!
An example of DS3 farming
Posted 9 years agoCovenant items, from Farron Keep Ruins in the swamp killing the 3 Ghru's on the bridge. This was in order to get the wolfblood swordgrass, since I couldnt actually do any PvP for them any more. I was level 100 at this point, and the area for invading is generalyl around level 40 ish? No way was I able to invade for the covenant. Had to farm this off the mobs.
54 rotten pine resin
22 black bug pellet
70 titanite shards
10 poison gems
18 heavy gems
10 rotten ghru daggers
32 rotten ghru spears
24 ghru rotshields
422000 souls
ALL TO FARM -> 30 wolfblood swordgrass.
Done in about 2.5 hours. The three kills takes less than 30 seconds, usually, and you can repeat it almost instantly since you barely take 5 steps away from the bonfire. This was on new game.
54 rotten pine resin
22 black bug pellet
70 titanite shards
10 poison gems
18 heavy gems
10 rotten ghru daggers
32 rotten ghru spears
24 ghru rotshields
422000 souls
ALL TO FARM -> 30 wolfblood swordgrass.
Done in about 2.5 hours. The three kills takes less than 30 seconds, usually, and you can repeat it almost instantly since you barely take 5 steps away from the bonfire. This was on new game.
Dark souls 3 conversation
Posted 9 years agohad this lovely, fun conversation with someone last night in Dark Souls on steam. Myself and a couple friends were doing coop, trying to go through the story, but we kept getting invaded. One of these invaders decided it was unfair that we fought him 2v1, so he actually added me on steam friends, and started up this convo...
3:45 AM - TheDude: 2 v 1
3:45 AM - Me: and?
3:45 AM - TheDude: im better
3:45 AM - Me: okay
3:45 AM - TheDude: you are weak
3:45 AM - Me: righto
3:45 AM - TheDude: git gud casul
3:45 AM - Me: and youre trying to be the tough guy online over one death
3:45 AM - Me: gg
3:46 AM - TheDude: but im the best
3:46 AM - TheDude: i dont need help in pvp
3:46 AM - TheDude: u are all so weak
3:46 AM - Me: i want to be, the very best
3:46 AM - Me: like no one ever was
Needless to say, the conversation went somewhere. BUt really, if you are invading other people, there are no rules. A lot of us playing the game arent sitting around hoping to 1v1 duel in PvP, we want to carry on, and youre not helping any by invading and killing us, restarting the whole area. So.... you gotta die. There is no honour or dishonour here, you are a bug to be squashed on our road to victory. Go away, or be swatted.
3:45 AM - TheDude: 2 v 1
3:45 AM - Me: and?
3:45 AM - TheDude: im better
3:45 AM - Me: okay
3:45 AM - TheDude: you are weak
3:45 AM - Me: righto
3:45 AM - TheDude: git gud casul
3:45 AM - Me: and youre trying to be the tough guy online over one death
3:45 AM - Me: gg
3:46 AM - TheDude: but im the best
3:46 AM - TheDude: i dont need help in pvp
3:46 AM - TheDude: u are all so weak
3:46 AM - Me: i want to be, the very best
3:46 AM - Me: like no one ever was
Needless to say, the conversation went somewhere. BUt really, if you are invading other people, there are no rules. A lot of us playing the game arent sitting around hoping to 1v1 duel in PvP, we want to carry on, and youre not helping any by invading and killing us, restarting the whole area. So.... you gotta die. There is no honour or dishonour here, you are a bug to be squashed on our road to victory. Go away, or be swatted.
Vore pet peeves
Posted 9 years ago1. Being able to see in a stomach/body. For a couple reasons. First is that what light are you actually able to see by? Skin and muscle and sinew and fat and all, its not generally translucent. And the second reason is how do you plan on keeping your eyes open when they are full of mucous, slime, and being pressed on by those squishy walls of flesh all around you? Even if there was light, the walls around you would almost certainly be too close to your face to keep your eyes open, and even if you coudl keep your eyes open, the walls woudl be so close you couldnt properly focus.
2. Pred speaking with the mouth full. This doesnt generally bother me overly much, but it does bug me. You have your prey on your tongue, filling your jaws up to the point of near dislocation, and you can form coherent words? Pfffft. Good luck with that! every try playing 'fluffy bunny,' the game of stuffing marshmallows in your mouth until you cant say 'fluffy bunny' any more? Multiply your highest score by 10.
3. Bimbo/ignorant prey. You know the type, those people that go 'oooh, that giant panther looks so cuddly! Im sure nothing bad could happen... especially if I look in his mouth, and lean in, and rub his tongue... This is perfectly safe! Hey, I fell deeper... hey hey, stop eating me, no, bad panther! Oh, Im ded. How coudl this happen to me?!' I mean, if you wanna get eaten, go approachign all those intimidating, big predators. If you dont want to be eaten, dont. Seems logical that if you dont want something, you dont freaking encourage it! 9 out of 10 preds nowadays are lazy to the extreme and wont bother chasing you, so just dont go walking up to try and give em a kiss if youre against being eaten!
4. Pertaining to digestion. pH of your stomach is fairly low, generally around 2. slightly more acidic than lemon juice. LEMON JUICE. Spill some lemon juice on your skin. How long do you think it takes to really do damage? Might cause stinging, yes. Itching, burning, whatever. If youre exposed to the acids long enough yes, it will hurt.
Now factor in how long you can go without air. 3 minutes. I dont think youll be finding much in the way of usable oxygen or air of much sort at all inside a body, from throat to stomach. Even if there is air, how are you breathing if you cant move your arms/hands and your face is smothered by mucous, ichor, slime, and soft tissue walls closing in around you?
Refer to the pictures below for acidity.
http://www.firegryph.in/pics/Stomac.....pH%20levls.PNG
http://www.nature-education.org/cart/ph-body.jpg
obviously certain species are different in terms of digestion, both on part of the prey and part of the pred. Many creatures can go longer without air. Some cant go 3 minutes. Stronger gastic acids vs weaker. Etc.
Yes yes, in the end everything is fantasy and make believe. but these are a few things that bug ME, personally, in most cases. I overlook plenty just for the sake of enjoyment myself, but at the same time when I see people looking around in a stomach, or moving freely, or the pred and prey carry on a conversation as the prey is being ingested, or people describe a sizzle or burning sensation the INSTANT they touch some stomach acid, it just bugs me. Theres no reason we cant have a level of intelligence in our pretend eating, is there?
2. Pred speaking with the mouth full. This doesnt generally bother me overly much, but it does bug me. You have your prey on your tongue, filling your jaws up to the point of near dislocation, and you can form coherent words? Pfffft. Good luck with that! every try playing 'fluffy bunny,' the game of stuffing marshmallows in your mouth until you cant say 'fluffy bunny' any more? Multiply your highest score by 10.
3. Bimbo/ignorant prey. You know the type, those people that go 'oooh, that giant panther looks so cuddly! Im sure nothing bad could happen... especially if I look in his mouth, and lean in, and rub his tongue... This is perfectly safe! Hey, I fell deeper... hey hey, stop eating me, no, bad panther! Oh, Im ded. How coudl this happen to me?!' I mean, if you wanna get eaten, go approachign all those intimidating, big predators. If you dont want to be eaten, dont. Seems logical that if you dont want something, you dont freaking encourage it! 9 out of 10 preds nowadays are lazy to the extreme and wont bother chasing you, so just dont go walking up to try and give em a kiss if youre against being eaten!
4. Pertaining to digestion. pH of your stomach is fairly low, generally around 2. slightly more acidic than lemon juice. LEMON JUICE. Spill some lemon juice on your skin. How long do you think it takes to really do damage? Might cause stinging, yes. Itching, burning, whatever. If youre exposed to the acids long enough yes, it will hurt.
Now factor in how long you can go without air. 3 minutes. I dont think youll be finding much in the way of usable oxygen or air of much sort at all inside a body, from throat to stomach. Even if there is air, how are you breathing if you cant move your arms/hands and your face is smothered by mucous, ichor, slime, and soft tissue walls closing in around you?
Refer to the pictures below for acidity.
http://www.firegryph.in/pics/Stomac.....pH%20levls.PNG
http://www.nature-education.org/cart/ph-body.jpg
obviously certain species are different in terms of digestion, both on part of the prey and part of the pred. Many creatures can go longer without air. Some cant go 3 minutes. Stronger gastic acids vs weaker. Etc.
Yes yes, in the end everything is fantasy and make believe. but these are a few things that bug ME, personally, in most cases. I overlook plenty just for the sake of enjoyment myself, but at the same time when I see people looking around in a stomach, or moving freely, or the pred and prey carry on a conversation as the prey is being ingested, or people describe a sizzle or burning sensation the INSTANT they touch some stomach acid, it just bugs me. Theres no reason we cant have a level of intelligence in our pretend eating, is there?
Pro life tip: DONT USE SKYPE
Posted 9 years agoFuck skype forever and a day. Dont fucking use it. Ever since MS acquired it it has gone downhill.
Its a resource hog
It has shit for IM feautures and functionality.
The mobile app is complete garbage.
The voice chat function is rubbish compared to the hundred other systems you could use (teamspeak, ventrilo, mumble, raidcall, EVEN STEAM HAS BETTER VOICE CHAT)
It auto-adds contacts and clings onto old contacts far too long. Seriously. Skype for android, I load it up and suddenly I have co-workers names in my damn SKYPE contact list, just because they were in my phone or some shit. I dont honestly know how they got onto my skype contact list, but for obvious reasons I dont really want to have co-workers on skype. I try to delete contacts, and every time I log on again, a random set of those contacts returns to my list! EVERY DAMN TIME I LOG ON!
Also its riddled with spam bots. And ads.
Microsoft refuses to allow access to the skype network from any other client or program, so its skype or nothing.
So fuck skype. And fuck anyone that wants to tell me to use it. You wanna talk to me (cuz I know everyone does), dont use skype. AIM is my messenger of choice STILL, because it still functions the best and simplest out of anything. If it wasnt for about 3 people I talk to regularly that seem to ONLY use skype, I wouldnt ever use it, at all, ever, any more. Its bullshit.
LET ME EDIT MY DAMN CONTACT LIST YOU PIECE OF SHIT PROGRAM!
MICROSOFT, I DONT WANT EVERY ASPECT OF MY DIGITAL LIFE INTERCONNECTED! MY MSN ACCOUNT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE MY WINDOWS OS ACCOUNT! FUCK OFF!
Its a resource hog
It has shit for IM feautures and functionality.
The mobile app is complete garbage.
The voice chat function is rubbish compared to the hundred other systems you could use (teamspeak, ventrilo, mumble, raidcall, EVEN STEAM HAS BETTER VOICE CHAT)
It auto-adds contacts and clings onto old contacts far too long. Seriously. Skype for android, I load it up and suddenly I have co-workers names in my damn SKYPE contact list, just because they were in my phone or some shit. I dont honestly know how they got onto my skype contact list, but for obvious reasons I dont really want to have co-workers on skype. I try to delete contacts, and every time I log on again, a random set of those contacts returns to my list! EVERY DAMN TIME I LOG ON!
Also its riddled with spam bots. And ads.
Microsoft refuses to allow access to the skype network from any other client or program, so its skype or nothing.
So fuck skype. And fuck anyone that wants to tell me to use it. You wanna talk to me (cuz I know everyone does), dont use skype. AIM is my messenger of choice STILL, because it still functions the best and simplest out of anything. If it wasnt for about 3 people I talk to regularly that seem to ONLY use skype, I wouldnt ever use it, at all, ever, any more. Its bullshit.
LET ME EDIT MY DAMN CONTACT LIST YOU PIECE OF SHIT PROGRAM!
MICROSOFT, I DONT WANT EVERY ASPECT OF MY DIGITAL LIFE INTERCONNECTED! MY MSN ACCOUNT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE MY WINDOWS OS ACCOUNT! FUCK OFF!
Whoo, I made it to midnight. I guess.
Posted 10 years agoBecause for the last half hour of hte day I went through all my IM's and contact lists and wiped 95% of the peopleoff them. Fuck off. all the damn posers that talk to me once a year, just to go 'hows it going?' then go silent for another year. or wish me a birthday because skype reminds them. Or tells me to have a happy fucking new year just because its that time of the damn year. Get me off your lists. One less person to be a chore for you.
Fuck off. Im going to bed. Eventually.
Fuck off. Im going to bed. Eventually.
Console video capture question
Posted 10 years agoFor those who might know, I need some help.
Im trying to hook up my ps3 and Wii to my computer, and play on my monitor. The ps3 woudl be easy enough to play on the monitor, given I have an HDMI cable and all. The Wii is not so simple...
So is something like the Avermedia Portable Gamer Live video capture device the way to go? Yes I would be streaming, but I dont particularly need to record the video. And will it easily hook up with the Wii and PS3?
Or are there other, better solutions at this point with technology as it is? Heck, it might even be cheaper to get a TV, thoguh then I couldnt stream...
Im trying to hook up my ps3 and Wii to my computer, and play on my monitor. The ps3 woudl be easy enough to play on the monitor, given I have an HDMI cable and all. The Wii is not so simple...
So is something like the Avermedia Portable Gamer Live video capture device the way to go? Yes I would be streaming, but I dont particularly need to record the video. And will it easily hook up with the Wii and PS3?
Or are there other, better solutions at this point with technology as it is? Heck, it might even be cheaper to get a TV, thoguh then I couldnt stream...
