My new account is  DaPanda73

I've been thinking of changing my account name for several reasons... I just kinda want a new start with everything right now...

I don't know what to do... I know people say there's so many possibilities, but it seems like they're all either not what I like, or the door shuts in my face, or I'm just not good enough in it... I feel like I'm a misshapen object trying to fit in square holes... I feel very inadequate right now at anything I try and nothing seems to be helping... I just can't find what I was meant for...

I have one now and just letting people know just in case there's anyone that wants to be friends on there.

I'm sorry... It's just I'm at the edge right now... Everything is piling up and I don't know what to do. No one wants to hire me for a job, and it seems like if I don't get one soon my dad might kick me out. My mom needs help from me to get groceries, things high up in the cabinets, laundry, making food, clean/vacuum, and other things like that. It's not that I'm not happy doing those things, it's just a lot of things amongst the other situations, and I have to pick up the slack my dad leaves because he has to go off to tend to his mother, my grandmother, and last time I've seen her she had another stroke and she's suffering in pain and can't move her left side when just weeks ago she was speaking coherent sentences, and able to still do things on her own... It's hard to see... And by the time I keep up with everything I am really tired because my mom is also trying to get some other big jobs done around the house when my dad's away... Many other events have been going on and I'm always ending up tired mostly emotionally and mentally, and I don't really have any time to myself for relaxing, or being able to play games or do art to get my mind off of some things... And I'm ready to be kicked out because I don't have a job right now... I'd love a job, but I am not being hired, and my dad is treating me like I'm not even trying to find one even though I am. He seems to forget it's not like his days right now anymore and seems ready to stop supporting me even though I'm trying hard, and he doesn't seem to see that... My dad suddenly seems to not let me arrange even my bedroom how I want anymore and they're probably obvious hints that he wants me to get out... I would if I could... But the Michigan economy sucks ass and I keep getting the same crap when I apply saying "you're not what we're looking for at this time..." I keep trying and I only seem to be continually only running in place. It's all been triggering depressive episodes and I can't seem to snap out of it easily right now... I've been failing finding good use for my art talents to bring in hardly any income whatsoever and wondering if I made a horrible mistake going for a degree in art and that I am probably not any good which is why I can't get anyone to pay for my web designs or whatever. Not that I'd probably have much time for it anyways right now... Even my friend didn't seem to care much about my piece I made of him for his birthday... Everything is just causing me to feel down and hopeless and my dad is being far from encouraging... I'm doing all I can, but he always points out something else I should have done. I don't know what else to do right now besides trying to stop crying and try my best to keep going... But hardly anything good happens to me so I'm not expecting much...