https://www.tumblr.com/stormclaws/7.....t-through-this

Hey all.... I hate to do this, but my life is Literally falling apart just as I'm finally able to get things together.

If anyone is able to donate or commission me, I would be incredibly thankful.

Thank you.

Hey all!

I'm offering a 30% discount on my commissions, save for anything priced $10 and under. This includes my normal offerings and YCHs!

🗲 https://despairtempest.carrd.co/
🗲 https://ko-fi.com/despairtempest/commissions
(use code GIRLHELP-30 at checkout!) (haha, I sound like a youtuber LMAO)

I was unemployed suddenly in December, and I've finally found a job again! However because I don't have a car, I'm relying on rideshares temporarily until training ends, then it's work from home. I need just a little help affording them until my paychecks start coming in consistently.

This will last for at least 2 weeks, but I may extend it further depending on circumstance. I'll give a heads up once this would be.

Other than that, I haven't made a journal in over a year LOL but things have been both boring and exciting at the same time. Finally moved to a better place, two cats passed away, I adopted one, and I've been getting some really good help with my chronic illnesses. I'm back on good pain meds and I'm now on a 2 on a 1-10 scale on a daily basis, compared to 4-5 on a GOOD day without. Jury's still out on my fatigue, but one thing at a time. Trying to see if I can get assistance for getting a wheelchair too!

Been getting into embroidery, if I remember I'll upload a compilation of stuff I've made! Not a whole lot, but it's been fun having a creative outlet that I can just let myself be an amateur at.

Overall, life keeps getting more stable and I'm happy to be here.

Thanks for your time! 💖

it's been a while, but my commissions are finally open!

take a look at my carrd for further info: https://despairtempest.carrd.co/

send me a DM or email if you're interested! and let me know if you have any questions :)

https://toyhou.se/~bulletins/1578642.sale-on-designs-until-127-on-base-design-comms

tl:dr having a sale on my open adopts, taking offers on 2 characters, open for on-base customs until 12/7!

adopts are all $10 or less. on-base customs are $20 unless you want base edits

comment here or on th to claim!

figured id give another update since my last journal was over a year ago + at a very low point and things have thankfully turned around a lot for me!

i got a job in september and its been going SO well. it is customer service but business to business so people are generally SO much nicer. it's more transactional and that's perfect for my autistic ass.

i've been able to work on getting my health sorted, firstly getting diagnosed w/ PTSD officially in feb!! finally!!

and then in december i got diagnosed w/ sleep apnea and got a CPAP machine. i'm just gonna copy/paste what i wrote abt it initially bc it explains it well LMAO:

i remember i was telling my friends how when i went in for my initial sleep specialist appointment they took a look at the back of my throat to see how closed my airway was and i got a 3. which i though oh thats not that bad! 3 out of 5 is just above half!

and then its actually 3 out of 4, so i made a joke about getting a good grade in sleep apnea, something both normal to want and possible to achieve

SO TURNS OUT!! my sleep study results came in and they rate severity in events/hour, with an event being 10+ seconds of not breathing. 5-15 is mild, 15-30 is moderate, and 30+ is severe and i ranked a solid 42 events/hour so not only did i get a good grade, i got extra credit and they gave me a free cpap machine out of it

and WOW what a huge change that's made for me. going from about 7 minutes of not breathing per hour and waking up several times during the night to having less than ONE single event/hour means that i'm actually getting benefits of sleep. i have so much more energy, my daily brain fog is almost gone, and i'm so so so much happier.

looking to the future, my roommate and i are planning on moving out of this apartment and closer to our other friends. i'm drawing a lot less but i've picked up other hobbies like baking and embroidery and that's been good for me too. still love art and i'm not quitting, but i think it's been good to take a break and wait for my spark to come back.

so yeah. life's been good for me. i'm very happy to be where i am and holy fuck how am i gonna turn 30 next month. insane.

so i uhhhh. got fired on the 8th with literally NO warning. like no writeups, no verbals, no corrective action, just an email from the recruiter who hired me (not even my boss or anything!) telling me not to log in for the day and to immediately call her.

when i asked why, she vaguely mentioned something about a backorder of transactions (that they had for MONTHS before i was hired btw, this wasn't just me not doing my job) i was completing which like?? id been working on them??? i'd even been consistently putting in overtime to take care of them too since they told me Not to work on them when i first started bc they wanted me to get used to the system first but then again i was a temp to hire (or fire. in my case.) and the recruiter said what sometimes ends up happening is employers will just fire and then hire new people instead of taking the time to onboard them properly LMAO

so i'm looking for another job again but i'm just so tired and angry and i went from "oh yay i'm so happy my life is FINALLY coming together again, i'm at a job i love and maybe i can afford to go back to therapy and i can move with my roommate to be closer to our friends and and and" and then get slapped w/ this shocker and now back to being in a worse state of depression than i was before i got this job LMAO.

and it completely crushed my confidence too since they were hyping me up at the start like "yeah normally we need people to live IN this city but since you're the best candidate we've gotten we'll let you work from home until you move down here :)" and then they fucking fire me. like its almost funny. literally four days after i reported that i no longer need SNAP benefits (food stamps) they fire me.

been trying to keep positive about things. i've got more friends now, and i'm still planning on moving across the state to be closer with them. i know just BEING close to people is gonna help. i even used the last of my insurance to go and get another prescription for hrt since it'd been like what. 2 years since i could afford it. i just don't care anymore lmao

i'll be fine, i've survived situations MUCH worse than this but i just want to lay down and cry. at least i was able to put money into savings and my roommate and i are SO much better at navigating things than we were before. holding onto those silver linings, yeah?

hey all!! :D good news, i've FINALLY landed a job! 🧿 i start later this month and while it is customer service mainly, it's chat/email + focused on supply orders/etc so its gonna hopefully be easier for me in the long run. still nervous about a lot of parts of it, but i'm just excited to finally have money coming in!! i've been unemployed since late april and i'm ready to get my life back in gear.

and with that, i'm also announcing that i'm closing the 25% off commission sale at the end of this month, so if you'd like to take advantage of the last part of it, let me know. i'm open for everything except paintings, and you can find more commission info here: https://despairtempest.carrd.co

i also still have these two YCHs available: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/41871945/ and https://www.furaffinity.net/view/41790176/

have a good day! ouo)/

this morning at around 11:10 am, we had to put our cat sasha to sleep. she's 14 and lived a long life, but her health's been declining slowly and on tuesday, she all but stopped getting up to walk around all together. she was such a strong willed cat, and although she was determined not to let that stop her, this morning she took a sharp downturn.

i won't go over the details, but we couldn't stand to see her suffer. i got to say goodbye, but i wasn't able to be there with her when she crossed over. i understand why, i just wished i could have been there for her more.

she's the best cat i've ever known, and my best friend. ever since i moved in with my current roommates (technically shes their cat) she's been attached to me at the hip. or rather at the shoulder. or chest. she'd climb up on me while i'm on the computer and purr and purr so loud. of course she'd use her claws to stay put (even with me holding her tight) but i am kind of sad that my shoulders/back/arms won't be scratched all up in claw marks

its... hard now. that shes gone. it hasnt even been a full 12 hours but my heart already aches so much. i won't forget how she pushed her face into my hands on the drive to the animal shelter, trying to get as much comfort as she could.

i know she wouldn't want me to be sad, and i'm trying not to be. for her sake. i have so many good memories because of her and she was there in some really low moments. i thanked her so much for everything shes given me, all the strength and memories. she's the best cat i've ever known, while also being an expert at causing as much trouble as possible. she had such a strong, commanding personality.

i might not be around as much over the next few days, who knows. i just want to get things off my chest.

hey all! so a bit of a further life update that i'm still out of a job, and while i 🧿do have an interview thats coming up🧿, i still have some bills/remainder of rent that i'd really appreciate any sort of help with... X__X

so i'm offering a 25% off sale on commissions! my current prices are here: https://despairtempest.carrd.co

this also applies to my current YCHs as well: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/41871945/ and https://www.furaffinity.net/view/41790176/

while i don't have an exact end point in mind, i know that even if i get the job and start next week, it'll be a bit before my first paycheck comes in. however, i'll absolutely give about a week's notice once i'm more secure, financially.

additionally, if you'd want to just throw a few dollars my way as a donation, i'd really appreciate it as well. ;;o;; every bit would help so much! my ko-fi is here: https://ko-fi.com/despairtempest

and lastly i just want to thank you all for your continued support through everything here... i know i'm not the most active and i feel like i ask for help a lot, but i really want to say thank you to everyone whose stuck with me over the years. you all really inspire me to keep going!

i havent made a journal in 500 years but lays down on the floor

life update??? i quit my job last week since Fuck customer service!!! i've been doing that for the last 6 years and this past job made me literally so miserable i couldn't even function. being yelled at all day for shit other people fucked up, for policies the company put in place that i couldn't control, PLUS it was in insurance and thats absolutely miserable

and while like. i'm not at 100% my mental health has improved DRASTICALLY like fuck dude!!! no longer having to calm down customers w/ the same skills i'd use to calm down my abusive mother REALLY did a number on me :/

so i'm on a break while i look for another job. i'm not too sure what i'm gonna do next for work but in the meantime, i'm opening commissions. i'll make an actual post w/ more info later but. it feels good to be able to breathe ghghgh

i'd say sorry for the inactivity but like. i've been on survival mode for the last year so...

i am. pretty tired work was rough today but life is good rn........ i just wanna say thanks to yall for sticking with me through this [vague gestures]-long hiatus and funk ive been in

and thank you also to the new watchers and everyone whos faved my stuff and viewed it!! it means a lot to me and you guys are so kind!!! ;w; i'm most active on tumblr, my main being despairgundam and my art-only blog is despairtempest if you wanna follow me there also

ive finally. got myself on a combination of medication thats helping me a whole lot, plus just generally having time over four years to clean myself off from my abusive family really. really helps. and i'm learning to live a lot better with my disabilities so while im not ""Recovered"" in the sense that its all gone now but like. damn dude is this how normal people feel. What The Fuck!!

getting myself in gear w/ the huevember challenge i feel is really helping me get back in the game..... i'm also working my way through the lessons on draw a box and i'm enjoying the challenge !!

overall i'm still here still alive and im starting to feel life calm down and brighten up a bit. i might hold a free art raffle at some point to say thank you!

anyone got any plans for thanksgiving coming up? i've got to work some of the days next week but i'm planning on cooking myself my favorite foods, taking a long bath, and then taking a Big Nap bc i'm cozey and Fuck Work

*busts down your door* BA DE YA

HEY so im still here!!!!!!!!!! theres been a LOT going on irl for me lately including:

-my car breaking down and its gonna cost like 2 grand that i (still) dont have to fix it

-moving.... Again but this time its with my best friend down here and her many cats so i am. feeling rly good about it!!

-getting laid off (and trying to find a new job)

-trying to squeeze in as meany doctors appointments as i can afford before i lose my insurance

-and hopefully when i meet with my endo she can refill my script for testosterone bc i had to stop taking it because i couldnt afford it and boy howdy does that really make me want to die

-they keep changing my shift at work and its making me Miserable this the third time in a month

-the adventure zone has kicked my ass emotionally i love it and im still not over the ending I'm Dead

-uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh beepis

lays down

so hopefully expect some more art from me soon!! ive been getting myself out of this Depression™ and have actually like.... done stuff so hopefully ill be posting more here!! as always im more active on tumblr! memorydiscs is my main blog and despairtempest is my art bloge

hey all i. really. really fuckin hate to do this because up until this point id been doing fine and long story short my car is Super Fucked and it cost me an arm and a leg to get it fixed a while ago and it totally destroyed my savings + tax return to get it fixed and then i had to pay like $120 to get myself of my roommates phone bill which im trying to get some of that back but long story i'm really just Fucked Financially

AND THEN my bank gave me an overdraft fee bc they processed a bunch of old charges at once but im not that much in the red, i'm just looking to get $10-$15[/i] to make sure i'm out of the overdraft as well as give some cushion in case some other charges go through fjdkff

you can read more about the situation here

also i'd like to use cash.me because it instantly puts the money into my account instead of paypal which takes about a day or so, and i really want to move quickly to avoid that overdraft fee (you don't need an account to sign up!)

i'm also gonna be cutting back the price on my open YCH but if you want to donate i can absolutely sketch you something in return!!!

hey so since im!! finally moved in i think i can start streaming again!!! at the last place sometimes the internet speed literally wouldnt get above 1mbps whereas now i just did a test and got 22mpbs LMAO......... Thank Fuck

BUT UH YEAH i used to stream quite a big a long time ago so i wanna get back into it!! im thinking maybe a sketch stream? or requests??? i wanna kinda ease into it...... itll probably be on tuesday or wednesday since those are my days off and im still on a night shift unfortunately, but i mean if ppl would be game for a stream at like 11/12am cst thats cool too!!

but yea just let me know if thats something nyall might be interested in !!

uh yeah ehres some updates!! on my life and all that

-still working same job, but im making Actual Steps to like. move on to bigger and better things (im starting to learn web design...slowly but surely!)

-and also gonna be moving! i think i have a place lined up like Right Now but we'll see

-uh if all goes well 2k17 is gonna be the year i FINALLY get my name change!!!!! especially with that hashtag tax return [airhorn noises]

-and in the mental health department this is? literally the best ive ever felt in my entire life??? ive been away from my abusive family for like. 2 and a half years and im actually starting to recover from that shit, and also the meds im on are working Fantastically and im starting to have like. 1 and 2 and 5 year plans for my life which is weird as fuck but im not complaining

-im gonna!!! try to go to akon with some friends!!! im gonna try to get back into cosplay as well.... i think im gonna start simple w/ ichimatsu matsuno but we'll see (if i end up going ill make a journal abt it and stuff!)

-i;m really gay for my friends and am full of love

-uh i think thats it for updates!! thank u to all my followers (all 420 of u..... haha weede joke) for stickin around and bein Pals i hope u have a really good dream tonight

commission prices are undergoing changes because of time/effort put into them, if you would like anything in particular hmu and we could work out prices in the meanwhile.

uh.... idk what else to say? things are still going well irl, im now trying to Move Up at my job which is honestly. very exciting. im starting to get my Shit together for real and yeah....

in case you didnt catch the submission? i started t in december! ive been on it for 4 months and WOW!!!! W O W does it feel great. my voice is changing a lot... its nowhere as deep as i want it to be and my face still looks very Cute but honestly its a good look.... im starting to pass slightly as a Dude and its a. very good feel, a very good feel.

ive kind of? taken a break as far as art goes, which is why im not uploading as much. trying to sort out my feelings for it, bc honestly i still have a lot of Toxic Mentalities about art (if im not actively making money off it it's ""useless"") (thanks mom 4 that mentality) and im trying to back to the basics..... have fun with stuff again

so yeah if you want to, def feel free to run suggestions by me! you can note me or comment or etc... sfw or otherwise i just wanna do fun shit + experiment and the like. cant guarantee that ill get to em all but ill give it a shot! like yea def feel free to request nsfw stuff, i genuinely liked drawing that sorta thing so

but yeah?? honestly idk what else to say about things, im more active on tumblr, http://despairgundam.tumblr.com and http://tempestartblog.tumblr.com

hey how everyone's doing!!! wow my activity is so dead on here, but im trying to get back into the swing of things!!!!!

as for general life updates, i've been here for a whole year coming up in september.... that's so fuckin wild to think about. we moved into a bigger place, i'm at the same job i started out with, i've got my own car (a red fiat!), my insurance has kicked in so i'm able to get on medication for things (starting off with seroquel, gonna add more this monday, who the fuck knows about my physical health anymore but im using a cane now and thats helping a ton), and i'm just??? i feel really good!!! i feel happy!!! and alive!!!!! wow good shit good shit, i got off work for this weekend and im so Full Of Love, my birthday's on the 28th so im ready to kick next year's ass


...updates aside, i wanna talk to you guys more! i miss being active on here wtf

anyone got any cool plans for the summer?
(i'm working! being a REal Life Adult wow)

whats your favorite youtube video?
(here's mine)

have you seen any cool dogs lately?
(my coworker has 4 pitbulls!!! theyre all so cute wtf i love them)

or just tell me about yourself!! what is up friends

gonna clear up some of my old submissions, journals, etc. not gonna delete any commissions tho. i'm trying to get myself to make more Actual Art, and while yeah my commissions are still open, if anyone has any requests i say throw em at me bc i'm ready for some inspiration!!

Entering  secretsanta2k14's SS

Dear Secret Santa,

This year for the holidays, I want you to draw this character,...

1. ze doesn't have an Official Ref but you'll find all of the art of zir in this tag! ze also has a fursona that you can use if you'd like too! anthro or feral, either works!
Name: Yuuko Nakahara
Personality (short): Loud and bright, full of energy! Ze's also got a short temper and can be quick to jump the gun on things, but on the whole ze tries not to be an ass but just. doesn't care most of the time.
Notes about your character: guide on zir prounouns! (ze/zir) and as for clothing, do whatever you'd like! you can go with something i drew zir in, but tbh you can't go wrong with shorts and a shitty t shirt and a shitton of loud + contrasting patterns.

Ideas you can suggest: Something with a lot of energy! You could do a fighting stance, or maybe zir flipping the bird?? Just something LOUD + PROUD to get zir huge personality down!!

Or

2. http://33.media.tumblr.com/3f80c591.....1a53o1_500.png http://prntscr.com/58w5d2
Name: Tempest
Personality (short): they're anxious, a bit shy, but loyal and friendly. has an overall tone of "do no harm but take no shit" and is not afraid to fuck shit up if people get in their way.
Notes about the character: they have two forms, the first of which is their normal look! the second is a sort of alternate form that takes a lot of cues from the black shuck! they fade into mist and smoke (esp at their tail and paws) and they're constantly breathing fire and embers! their normal form is p much a lazy ass house cat and their black shuck form is basically a god. their black shuck form doesn't have set red markings or anything, so just do whatever you'd like! they are a sort of judgmental god sort of being where if you're kind, then they'll do everything in their power to bring you to safety. if you're an asshole though, then you're p much fucked.

Ideas you can suggest: maybe something super powerful + vengeful with their black shuck form? like looking super angry with a bunch of smoke and their eyes are glowing and their mouth is full of embers!

Or

3. http://i.imgur.com/fGiqosQ.jpg
Name: Gundam Tanaka
Personality (short): boisterous, proud, complex, egotistical, but has a super good moral compass and is a total sweetheart deep down!
Notes about the character: http://danganronpa.wikia.com/wiki/Gundham_Tanaka (warning for super dangan ronpa 2 spoilers past the personality section!) this is basically everything you need to know about him B)

Ideas you can suggest: something where he's caring for animals in a super cute way! maybe bottle feeding a baby horse? or maybe something based off this video? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4dWTKo5u7M but the only thing i'd really want to avoid is something with his four dark devas of destruction just because that's all i ever really see of him with animals!


Thank you for being my Secret Santa!

Love
sky

P.S. I will draw pretty much everything, but i don't feel comfortable drawing romantic or sexual situations.

Do I the secret santa host have the permission to repost your
drawing to the
secretsantask14
account? Yes


Would you rather Draw or Write?
I would rather draw!

COLLAPSES ONTO GROUND, YELLS IN VICTORY

i made it through my first week of training!!!! it was p rough ngl, having to go from being an autistic shut-in to Bright And Cherry Customer Service Rep in only a couple of days, but basically i'm taking that persona right the fuck off as soon as i come home. i've still got to get used to Talking and Schedules and stuff but i'll live!!!!

my hours fuckin suck though, i'm working until 3AM with tuesdays and wednesdays off x_x im crying but it's only for 6 months and then i can get a not shitty schedule

so idk im getting the hang of things and am p pumped for this shit, its just getting used to things thats gonna suck ass

yeeehaw i got a job!!!! i'm working as a customer service rep in a call center and man oh man i love it so far!! i had orientation today, start training on tuesday, and it's down the street where my roommate works, so if our schedules work out, we could carpool!!

the pay is pretty nice, too B)

so!!!!! here we go

long time no see eh? :0 a lot of shit's been happening and basically long story short: dropped out of school again, took a plane halfway across the country, moved in with a couple of friends, and basically said "fuck you im leaving dont try to find me" to my mom and ill never ever have to see her again

so B))))) things are p fuckin rad for me right now and yea i have a lot of badbrain stuff going on and money's tight until i get my first paycheck (which this job is basically in my lap already so im hella confident in that) but overall im doing 10000% better after only being here a few days

so!!! hell yea!!! im feeling p great right now

ended up going to the er last night bc i was so miserable, ended up staying there for 6 hours x_x but at least i got to use a wheelchair!! that was SO NICE you have no idea

but eventually we came to the conclusion that the whole fiasco was bc i stopped taking my thyroid meds, which is kind of weird bc i havent been on them for a while so i dont understand why it got so bad recently but whatever

i took one last night and one this morning and im feeling a lot better!! not 100% and im not gonna push myself, but enough to where i dont feel like death.

managed to work on a couple of things tonight, granted i just had to do flats on one but still!! thats a lot more than ive done all month

ill slowly get back into the swing of things, i just need a bit more time. i promise ill have the commissions i owe done within two weeks, hopefully earlier but just giving myself a generous deadline so i dont end up breaking it ,,,

but yea!! doing a lot better, not 100% but getting there!

ALSO!!! I GET MY HAMSTER NEXT WEEK!!!!!! AAAAAAAA!!!! expect to see pictures of them!! planning on getting a longhaired syrian! but def a syrian for sure!!

Ugh I'm so sorry for being inactive, there's just SO MUCH shit happening and basically if I'm not at work, I'm laying in bed. I'll try to spell everything out though.

My laptop has been incredibly slow, to the point where I can't even use photoshop. Getting more memory for it soon, so no working on commissions for now.

The school year has caught up with me and I'm dead tired. On top of that, I started my internship and I have to get up a 6 am. I'm not handling it well.

I've got a case of chronic exhaustion.

I'm trying to get to the bottom of my health problems (hypothyroidism, bipolar disorder w/ psychotic features, anxiety, uncontrollable weight gain, constant puking after eating, chronic fatigue, general mood problems, etc.) and it looks like there's problems with my hormones. I have low cortisol and high testosterone for sure, as well as low vitamin d. We're still trying to figure things out and it's just been one doctors appointment after another after another. x_x But I'm hoping I'll have it figured out soon!!

I mean other than that, life's been pretty great. I'm slowly getting my life back in order, I have a steady and well-paying job, and I'll be getting a hamster soon enough! (Aiming for a long haired syrian!) I also have a queerplatonic life partner and she's wonderful. <>

So basically until I can get things sorted out, don't expect much from me for a while. Sorry guys, I hope you understand!! ;-;