So those who don't know, almost every year on FA I announce a free Christmas orgy (usually half way through November to give people plenty of time) that I like to draw for fun. It's my way of giving a free gift to my followers and most importantly, those who know how to read and pay attention. But this year, I'm just not feeling it. 2025 has just been absolute shit. There's been a few good things here and there, but for the most part... I just wanna get in a fucking rocket ship and blast off away from this shit planet at all cost. There's just no more fun left on the internet. Especially social media. Everyone's angry and upset all the time. Every website is just about making money and nothing else. Everything is skyrocketing in price. There is absolutely no hope for humanity. NONE! And every community I once thought was strong and supportive just keeps fucking turning on each other!

FA pissed me off so fucking bad on Halloween (my favorite Holiday just a reminder) that I seriously was on the fence about just deleting my account and never looking back. But this is sadly all I have! So it's great to know that after over 15 years of being here that they still don't have my back. Social media is NOT your friend. Always remember that. And now, just today! There's this big fucking button above my profile that says "RETRO IS THE NEW CLASSIC! CLICK HERE TO TRY MODERN RETRO TODAY!" Like great, guess they're getting rid of classic mode soon!

So as I said before, I'm just not feeling it. BUT... that doesn't mean I'm not doing anything. I still might go ahead and draw Wolf sexing some of your sonas if you want him to. So if you're interested, go ahead and post me an OC or 2 in the comments. No promises, but I'll still want to draw a few things for the season before 2025 is over.

I really hope things get better in 2026.

I'm not going to be posting anything for a while. I need to do some soul searching on whether or not I even want to keep drawing anymore as it just seems to be a tremendous waste of time. Goodbye for now.

Thanks to all who asked! Got a lot more then I thought I would. ^^

 exeggutor asks: "Did you know a rabbit's body is 60% butt?"
Well first of all, that's not really a question. It's more of a statement phrased as a question. But no, I didn't know that. Though, I'd say judging by Judy Hopps, a rabbit's body is more 90% ass.

 dragonofdarkness13 asks: "How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the Moon?"
I don't really understand the question. Are you asking how many cups of sugar it would take to like, make a mountain that reaches all the way to the moon? I don't think we have that much sugar on Earth. Or do you mean, like turning the sugar into candy that we can climb to the moon? I'm pretty sure the second it rains, the sugar ladder would just dissolve. OR something like a sugar powered rocket? Because I'm pretty sure we wouldn't be able to build one. But I'm not a scientist. So maybe we'll have sugar powered rockets in the future?

 rindropsquid asks: "What got you into Splatoon originally, and what caused that to spawn Squibby?"
I got into Splatoon soon after the release of Splatoon 2. I had only ever played Splatoon 1 at my roommate's place (long before I moved in) and really enjoyed it for how basic it was. I also loved playing "Jump Squid" the little lobby loading mini game that they NEVER brought back! Splatoon 2 came out at the height of the Switch's "we only made a handful of them because the Wii U didn't sell" bullshit. So I had to get a friend who worked at WalMart to special order the Splatoon 2 Switch for me. Despite Splatoon 2's flaws and frequent online drops, it was still the most fun I had with any other Splatoon.

Squibby came to exist, not from the game itself, but from a little fan video I liked watching on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxW-ao8raX4 The video just depicted 2 inkling girls doing a booty dance, or "twerking" as the kids call it. As you can see, the inkling on the left has dark skin, and the same style of eyes and mouth as Squibby. You can probably figure out where this is going. I then created my very first version of her, not as a drawing, but as a bead sprite: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/27731976/ after that, using a few frames from that same animation as references, I drew "Fruit Squibs" - https://www.furaffinity.net/view/37883939/ There's a familiar looking squid representing coconut in there. Then finally, I just recreated the animation: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/42811649/ and Squibby was officially born. The word I call the Inklings, "Squib" is just a combination of words. Squid + Booty = Squib. I don't really have a good answer as to what I find so appealing about the characters of Splatoon, but I just find them very cute and well designed. They all look like squishy candy to me. and I LOVE bright neon colors.

 dragonofdarkness13 asks: "What is your favorite Pie?"
Sadly, my favorite pie no longer exists, which was Marie Callander's blueberry sour cream pie since they went out of business. My gf has tried twice now to recreate the pie for me and I love her effort, but it's sadly just not the same.... It's very difficult to pick just ONE pie flavor. I'd say as it stands now, my favorite pie is pecan pie. Pumpkin is incredible, but only if it's slathered in lots of cool whip/whipped cream. Key lime is crazy underrated. But man, nothing beats a fresh, hot slice of Dutch apple pie with a scoop of French vanilla ice cream. An easier question would have been what's my least favorite pie? I'll answer that too. It's chocolate silk pies Nothing wrong with them, but I'm not a huge fan of chocolate.

 sikfock666 asks: "Is there really such a thing as a random question?"
Yes.

 dragonofdarkness13 asks: "Who is your Favorite Female Character of yours and who of mine? Who is your Favorite Male Character of yours and who of mine?"
I'm pretty sure you ask me this question every time I post these, but I get it. Opinions can change over time. My favorite female character of mine use to be Cherrie, but I'd say Alexis has taken "Woody's Spot." Not only does she get overwhelming praise at the art markets, but I feel like every time I draw her, I add new lore or just a tiny tweak to her design. Squibby would have been my official answer, but Squibby still doesn't feel like an "OC" to me. Favorite male character is easy, it's Wolf. He's like my only male character and I can draw him on demand with no ref sheet.
Favorite female character of yours is still Teef. She's just so damn perfect. I still have that very first picture you drew of her burned into my memory when you were in high school and I was in junior high. Favorite male character you don't draw anymore, which is Ed, but specifically his human form with the dragon tears. Maul is also really cool. But you don't ever draw that dude anymore either.

 xizana asks: "Favorite flavor of chips?"
My absolute favorite chip on this planet is Cheetos. What flavor of Cheetos? I am not picky. Crunchy Cheetos, Hot Cheetos, Cheetos Puffs, Jalapeno Cheetos. It is currently spooky season, so one of my all time favorite flavors is back, which is the white cheddar skeleton Cheetos. If I were to pick a chip that wasn't Cheetos, I'd go with the chili cheese Fritos. In fact, my favorite thing to do is to mix up a bag of crunchy Cheetos, hot Cheetos, and chili cheese Fritos to make my own chip trailmix. Salty, crunchy, cheesy goodness. I HATE the orange crap that gets all over your fingers... but nothings perfect.

 animamorphius asks: "Out of your characters, who is your favorite? Who is your favorite of my characters?"
Please see Dragonofdarkness13's question. But it's Wolf, naturally. As for your characters, my favorite is Stargaze. I'm a big fan of chimera/hybrid characters and cats in general. Love her cute face, and I really like the mouth on her tail. Definitely gonna draw more porn of her soon. Oldie is a very close second. <3

 makoru asks: "Tank, Healer or DPS?"
Back in the not so distant days of Overwatch 1 when they still had FOUR classes, I actually preferred playing Support. Torb was always my best character and I miss throwing out armor packs. Now that he's DPS, he's still good, but Reinhart became my main in Overwatch 2. Also in Overwatch 1, everyone HATED playing as Healers, and would just yell at you if you played a Support character on Offense. Now in Overwatch 2, everyone seems to hate playing as Tanks. I assume because you can only pick one now, and if you're the tank and you do bad, the blame is all on YOU. I rarely ever get DPS despite it having the most amount of characters. So to answer your question, I actually prefer playing Healers. Moira's my main, followed by Lucio, and I'm bad with literally everyone else. I do get tired of playing the same class over and over again though, so it's fine to switch off.

 darkrex asks: "Can love bloom on the battlefield?"
I think it can. The problem is that every time it does for Otacon, the other person ends up dead. Sniper Wolf. DEAD! His half sister, E.E. DEAD! Naomi. DEAD!! Solid Snake. DEAD!!! So sure, it can bloom... but can it last? Nah.

So I've had the same depressing journal on my front page for over 4 months now. So to cover it up, I'm asking everyone to ask me some questions. I am an open book so go wild. Even if you think it's really stupid, ask! If you're too embarrassed by a particular question, note me, and I'll post the questions as you being anonymous. I'll post a follow up in a couple days answering what I got. Thanks!

So as I briefly stated in a previous journal, 2025 has not been particularly good for me, as I'm sure it hasn't been for many others. As of March right before my birthday, my depression had become so severe that I had a nervous breakdown that resulted in ugly crying in the hallway. The kind of crying that if my dad were to see me doing this he would have probably started kicking me while I was on the ground screaming that men don't cry and that I'm a pussy who needs to suck it up and start acting like a man. So good thing he wasn't there. Since then, I've been on an even deeper downward spiral that basically just had me on autopilot to make sure I wasn't about to lose my job. Crying became almost a daily nuisance as I would just lie to anyone who would ask me what's wrong and tell them that it's just bad allergies. My brain was also hardwired to think that nobody cares because anytime I would open up to someone, their response would be, "That sucks." or "You should go to therapy."

It wasn't until the middle of last month that my roommate saw me in the kitchen on the verge of tears yet again when he asked me what's wrong. I tried lying and said I was fine to which he told me, "Don't give me that bullshit." My poker face has always been dog shit which is why I don't gamble. So I let it all out. I haven't been doing well. I have no hope for the future. I don't see things getting better. The US is a fucking clown show right now. Shit's just gonna keep skyrocketing in price. I can go on. To which I received the broken record response of, "You should give therapy another try." But not because he doesn't care, but because he genuinely doesn't know how to help make things better. He even helped me get a hold of someone so that I didn't have to do it by myself.

So now I'm taking literally every other persons advice and going back to therapy. I've been down this road before though and it didn't help at all. But I can see where people are coming from at the very least. If you go to a bad restaurant, you just make sure to never go back to that same restaurant. You don't stop eating out all together. I've been seeing a new therapist who's very nice now for almost a month. I was diagnosed with "Anhedonia" which I've never heard of before. Anhedonia is the inability to experience pleasure or interest in activities that were once enjoyable, and it's a core symptom of conditions like depression and schizophrenia. This makes sense because there's very little that gives me joy these days. Food was one of the last things I had, but ever since my hospital visit, eating has even become a chore as I can only eat very small portions of food now. From a weight loss perspective that sounds great, but as a result my body is also not getting the nutrition it requires. So lack of interest, lack of sleep, and now lack of eating. It's been rough.

I also saw a psychiatrist at the beginning of the month and she prescribed me "Lexapro" for depression and "Hydroxyzine" to help me sleep. I've only been taking them for almost 2 weeks now and I don't feel much different. But that's the thing with medication, TV and movies have tricked us into thinking it's instantaneous when in reality, it can take months to notice any difference. I'm sticking with it though because I desperately want to feel better. I'm so tired of feeling like shit all the time. The sessions have been going well or at the very least, not bad. I've also been trying to better myself in keeping a journal and writing down whenever I have negative thoughts or nightmares and then reflect on those feelings after I've calmed down. A little writing exercise that my therapist told me to do that in a weird way has been helping a bit. I'm also forcing myself to go to the gym at least once a week. I always feel a lot better after going, it's just getting there that's the hard part.

I'll post a follow up if things get better or worse. Also know that no matter whatever bullshit is going on in politics or social media or what the fuck ever... just be a good person however you can. Live in the now, take a breather, and go for a walk every now and then.

So no massive changes, but I have recently tweaked my Gallery Folders. Just letting anyone who's interested know. Starting with "Ota's Cook Book." I've officially spilt it into 2 categories now. "All Recipes" and "Drinks & Cocktails." I've been making quite a bit of cocktails lately (gee, I wonder why....) so as such, I felt it was a good idea to split them into separate categories as I plan on making many more in the future. I was also thinking of splitting the actual food recipes into "Sweet" and "Savory." But upon closer inspection, I really only have a page and a half of recipes. Most of which are sweets. I could have sworn I had many more and that's because I actually have like 10 to 20 recipes I never posted that were from like almost 10 years ago. So really bad shots with my old digital point n shoot. So They're never gonna be posted. There's plenty more culinary art I want to create, but is quite difficult to cook in my current living situation. This is another reason I'm focusing more on drinks and mixology.

Another new(ish, I technically made it at the beginning of the year) folder I added was "Wincest." For my fellow incest lovers, I've decided that I've drawn enough of it to warrant a full folder. All the way at the bottom since all my non-grouped folders are all in alphabetical order. Mostly posts of, you guessed it, Wolf fucking his mom and the individual pieces from the Kylie comic with Wolf's "daughter". But there's a few other stuff in there as well, selfcest counts. Look forward to a lot more of it to cum.

If there's any other thoughts on future recipes or folder ideas, I'd love to hear them. Any other art critiques I'd like to hear as well.

So I've been uncharacteristically quiet on current life events, but let's just say that 2025 hasn't been particularly kind to me so far. To make an atrociously long story short, I took on a recent 2nd job that I thought, at the time, was going to be relatively easy. This meant sacrificing my hours at my current job, but I'd be getting a second paycheck so no big loss. Well as it turns out... the 2nd job I could only handle for a month and a half. This means that not only is that second paycheck gone, but my current schedule remains the same seeing as how my night shifts were replaced. This means that I'm only working 3 days a week now. I've expressed the details to my boss and it's not like he doesn't care, it's just that I've been replaced with someone else at my own request. So I have nobody to blame but myself.

I also picked a hell of a bad time to stop doing comic commissions seeing as how those were my best sellers. :/ Just bad timing I guess? Bad timing on everything this year so far. so I am flinging the door wide open on any potential commissions (comics still excluded because I can't handle them. Especially NOW!) But that doesn't mean I'm not willing to negotiate on multi-picture projects of similar variety. Note me if interested. Or even just message me for my Discord if that makes communication easier. I'll take pretty much anything I can get right now.

So I've been mulling this over for a very long time now, years even, and I have officially decided to take comic commissions off the menu. I don't want to do them anymore. They're too stressful, time consuming, and above all else... not worth the money that I'm currently charging for them. This is mostly my fault because the original intent of the comic commissions was to draw at least 6 panels, but no more than 10. But with every comic commission lately, they've been so long that I need to separate them into 2 pages. I want my commissioners to be happy and get exactly what they want, but as the old saying goes; "Give them an inch and they'll take a mile."

Since I don't draw comics the traditional way, ya know, just a bunch of intersecting boxes on one page. I draw them as a full sized image one panel at a time just because that's what's easiest for me. But with every little change I feel as though I'm just adding more and more panels for free. On top of already selling my art for super cheap (according to the internet) and also living in California. So if I ever bring comic commissions back, then I am going to need to do a complete overhaul on how I structure them and also charge for them.

For now they are on indefinite hiatus for the rest of 2025, maybe even longer. Sorry to anyone and everyone for any potential inconvenience.

 PLUSHIEGUTZ

My sister-in-law decided to rejoin FA. She's really nice and shy and has a really cool art style that stands out. Go welcome her back with a watch and good vibes if you'd like! <3

I've been deciding on this for a while now and have finally come to the conclusion that Twitter is no longer a viable means of artistic expression.

It's not getting any better and it's most likely only going to get worse, especially in 2025. The site is basically just 4chan with registered users at this point. Every time I'm on it, I'm just constantly shown shit I don't want to see and then I get mad. Gore, violence, politics, celebrities saying/doing dumb shit, ads for the same dumbass game where you're shooting barrels over and over again. It really sucks because at one point in time I was having a blast with Twitter. It had a banner, you could change the font size and color, it had a video editor, you could block everything you didn't like. Hell, because I didn't want to look at trending, I'd just change my location to Japan so I couldn't even read it! And it didn't use to follow you when scrolling. Then Elon Fuck bought it, changed it's name to a letter because he thought it'd be funny, then locked basic features behind a subscription paywall. I can't even send/receive dms anymore which really sucks for me, because I had people I knew that That was my only means of communication!

So why? WHY am I still using this shitshow of a website? The simple answer is; I'm addicted to doomscrolling. You're probably addicted to doomscrolling. We're all addicted to doomscrolling. I just keep telling myself, "Well yeah, it sucks but... I follow SO many artists that only post on Twitter! How will I possibly see their posts if they refuse to leave!? What else am I supposed to do while I'm taking a long dump on the toilet? Just sit here in silence?" It's time to stop.... First of all, I know that they don't give two flying fucks about me, all right? Second, TOUGH SHIT!! I'm sure their art will just be uploaded to Rule34 or e621 eventually. I'm done. I'm so fucking done with this piece of shit site.

I don't even upload my art to it anymore, I just repost other artists and cam-sluts. But lately I've noticed that a lot of these posts are most likely just stollen from the actual artist and uploaded from a pornbot. Speaking of pornbots, those are my only followers! I get at least 3 of them a day telling me to click shady links. The only other thing I've been using this site for is just uploading dick pics. So if you're really curious as to what my dick looks like, just head to my media link. Like most people, especially right now, I've moved over to Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/otaconxix.bsky.social

Like a butterfly rising from the ashes of the dead blue bird, Bluesky will take Twitter's place, which seems to be the right move at the moment. Will Bluesky eventually befall the same fate? Yes?... Maybe?... Most likely.... But for now, I really hope it gets better before it gets worse. Already off to a great start with no fucking ads or trending section. I'm going to try to post more frequently there over time. If you also made a Bluesky, shoot me a link. As for my Twitter (I still refuse to EVER call it's new name and so does the rest of the internet) I'm going to leave it up for the rest of 2024. But come 2025, I am officially deleting it and NEVER looking back.

Rest in piss, Twitter.

It's that time of year again already! Jesus tapdancing christ, I blink and Halloween is already over.... Time for yet another Christmas fuckfest. Okay, so here's how it works for those that don't know. Every year (almost) I draw a FREE orgy picture for Christmas that can potentially have one of your characters take part in the action. All ya gotta do is provide me a Name, Sexual Orientation, and a Ref sheet. That's it! So your comment should look like this:

Wolf FartFuckerTurd
Bi
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18869428/

You can submit as many characters as you like, but know that I will only choose ONE if any at all. Just a few hopefully easy to follow rules.

RULE #1:
NO BITCHING!! What do I mean by bitching? I mean don't get pissy if I don't pick your character. Please no, "AHHH, I DIDN'T GET PICKED!" comments either. I can't stand that shit! If anyone breaks this rule, I will BLOCK you!

RULE #2:
No choosing partners. I will match your character up best based on their sexual orientation.

RULE #3:
No winged characters or characters with multiple limbs. Wings are just all around bad for orgies. If you submit a character with wings, that doesn't mean they won't have a chance, it just means I will be drawing them without wings if I choose them.


And that's it! You have until December 1st to submit. I will post occasional reminders until then for anyone who might miss the journal because lets be honest... we all just kinda skim through the journals. That, and FA is a god damn ghost town at this point. Where the fuck is everybody? Did you all DIE!?

Here's some previous years examples:

2023: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/54911088/ (favorite one so far)
2022: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/50358112/
2021: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45230707/
2020: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/39843778/
2019: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/34354956/
2017: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/25856019/
2016: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22094238/
2015: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18603102/
2014: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15309925/

Happy painting!

With Halloween drawing near, if you're anything like me then you enjoy listening to creepy stories while getting into the spirit of things. So I've compiled a list of my favorite horror YouTubers in the hopes that you may stumble upon some good vids. This list is also for myself so that I can better keep track of all of them because after a while, they all kinda just blur together.

Lazy Masquerade - https://www.youtube.com/@LazyMasquerade
Starting off with what I assume is the most popular of the YT horror channels just to get him out of the way. I've been listening to Lazy for as far back as I can remember when YT horror readers first took off. I love the dudes calm British voice and has covered almost every horror topic be it real life forensic files or spooky ghost mysteries. Most should have at least heard of him so I'll move on.

Nexpo - https://www.youtube.com/@Nexpo/videos
Nexpo is currently my top horror YouTuber. I love his voice. I love his style. I love that he constantly peppers in old horror video game references into his vids. I'd say his only problem is that he chooses his subject matter by dartboard, and as a result has made some pretty lackluster videos that spend WAAAAY too long on some of these things. For instance, he put out not one, but two videos on "PETSCOP" almost 5 HOURS all together of content on a fake video game ARG. His videos are so random that as a matter of fact, if you're looking for a good starting point, I highly recommend his "Haunted PS1" video. That one is my current favorite: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAmQ5ODJJfA

Shrouded Hand - https://www.youtube.com/@ShroudedHand/videos
Another British horror YouTuber. Shrouded Hand does horror reads mostly on horrible murderers, torture, and some of the most sinister human beings to walk this earth. He'll occasionally do bits on monster folklore and one of my personal faves, "weird news" where he just watches ghost videos and debunks them. He's a skeptic when it comes to the paranormal which is why I assume he mostly focuses on real life atrocities.

The Void - https://www.youtube.com/@TheVoidChannelYT/videos
Yet another British horror. There's just something about that accent that just draws me in. I consider this guy to be "Diet Lazy Masquerade." Very similar in content and tone, but still has his own style. Mostly focuses on disturbing things around the internet.

Virtual Carbon - https://www.youtube.com/@VirtualCarbon/videos
I consider Virtual Carbon to be pretty similar to Nexpo. I'd even say that Nexpo may have even been his inspiration. But I can't say for sure. He mostly focuses on strange and obscure video games, disturbing lost media and internet rabbit holes.

Maverick Files - https://www.youtube.com/@MaverickFiles/videos
He sounds like a teenager on the verge of tears in all his videos. But I still really enjoy his stuff. Maverick Files doesn't seem to have a particular subject matter he focuses on, so if you're looking for a little bit of everything, there ya go.

Nick Crowley - https://www.youtube.com/@NickCrowley/videos
I'm only including him on this list because I feel like I've been watching him just as long as Lazy. But what I really don't like about him is that he does that annoying shit that "Chills" does where he ends every sentence with a run off question mark. I really hate ANY person who talks like that. Still, if you can get past the... "accent" his videos are still pretty solid. He's even collabed with Nexpo. Mostly focuses on dark internet videos and rabbit holes.

Let's Read - https://www.youtube.com/@LetsReadPodcast/videos
A podcast channel posting multiple horror stories into one long cozy video. They do this for every post, but they'll usually all be on a certain theme such as "Scary Halloween Stories" or "Scary Cult Stories" or even just "Scary Stories to Fall Asleep to." Very great channel to listen to while curling up with a blanket on the couch or bed.

Be. Busta - https://www.youtube.com/@BeBustaYT/videos
Pretty much exactly the same as "Let's Read." Almost all of their videos are 3 to 4 hours long though so strap in.

Something Sinister - https://www.youtube.com/@something_sinister/videos
Ironically, Something Sinister mostly focuses on other peoples YouTube channels discussing cursed YT channels, ARGs, and lost media.

Barely Sociable - https://www.youtube.com/@BarelySociable/videos
Analysis videos for the dark corners of the internet. His videos are more interesting and informative than scary though. Just a heads up.

Cadaber - https://www.youtube.com/@Cadaber/videos
Disturbing mysteries, crime deep dives, and more rabbit holes.

HorrorBabble - https://www.youtube.com/@HorrorBabble/videos
Irish YouTuber with an amazing voice and even more amazing beard, mostly focuses on H.P. Lovecraft and similar fiction based on monsters and folklore. So if you're a big Cthulhu fan, this ones for you.

Wendigoon - https://www.youtube.com/@Wendigoon/videos
Another big YouTuber I assume most people are familiar with. Wendigoon is obsessed with cryptids, creepypastas, ARGs, and pretty much everything horror related. A jack of all trades when it comes to horror. Although the camera mostly just stays on him while talking, he occasionally includes clips or snippets of what he's talking about. So just keep that in mind. He also does a collaborative podcast with "Papa Meat" called "Creep Cast" which I'm only not including because even though they're reading creepypastas and scary stories, they mostly just tell jokes over them. So it's more of a comedy channel then anything. He also does another collaborative podcast called "Red Thread" that focuses on conspiracy theories and other such topics.

Nightfair - https://www.youtube.com/@Nightfair/videos
Disturbing stories and internet content. His voice sounds very young and bored. He's ok.

Silent Archives - https://www.youtube.com/@silenthillarchives/videos
Dude who is obsessed with all things Silent Hill and survival horror. If you're a fan of SH and survival horror games, this is the guy for you.

Honorable Mentions: This is for channels that I don't particularly like, but still listen to from time to time.

Scare Theater - https://www.youtube.com/@ScareTheater/videos
Guy who covers pretty much everything, but I just don't like his voice. Also constantly puts midroll adds into his videos... so even if you get immersed, it's immediately interrupted by, "Hey guys! Just wanted to let you know that this video about a child being chopped into pieces is brought to you by NORD VPN!"

Mr. Nightmare - https://www.youtube.com/@mrnightmare/videos
He's fine and has a fine voice. But what I really don't like about him is that he feels the need to add jumpscare sounds into his videos and bro... you don't need to do that. Also pretty much just reads any story he finds on Reddit, 4chan, etc.

ClancyPasta - https://www.youtube.com/@ClancyPasta/videos
Worst horror YouTuber second only to "Chills." ClancyPasta just straight up reads anything and everything he can get his hands on with no regard for substance. So every now and then he'll come across a good read. But most of this shit is scary stories written by children who can barely speak, let alone write. One of the dumbest ones I can barely remember was about a demonic parrot that would dangle it's neck super long and talk to it's owner and like, kill people? I think? Really dumb surface level shit. I highly recommend ClancyPasta if you're drunk and looking for a good laugh. Also pretty sure all of his thumbnails are just AI art at this point.

And that's my entire list! At least the ones I'm currently following. If you happen to have any horror YouTube recommendations I didn't mention, I'd love to hear them. And if anyone on this list made it to your subscription box then I was happy to help. Happy October!!

So it's been almost 2 weeks since I've been out of the hospital and things have still been pretty rough. Still weak and dizzy when I stand up. It's also hard to breathe while standing. My stomach still feels like there's a balloon inside of it that just randomly expands for no reason. Food makes me nauseous, sometimes even vomiting, and my stomach is very picky on what I can and can't eat. The only things I've been able to stomach is fruit, oatmeal, cereal, Chinese food (for some reason) and the only thing that doesn't hurt my stomach at all is ice cream. But I know I can't just eat ice cream for every meal. Heavy stuff such as pizza, burgers, and fries... ya know, all the stuff I want to eat, my stomach just won't even allow me to think about. That's the part that sucks the most right now. Especially because my meds require me to eat food in order to take them. But my stomach won't let me eat much, so what the hell do I do!?

I made it through my antibiotics, but I still feel like shit. Also I'm pretty sure that my cyst has come back for a third time now because I can feel a familiar lump. On top of that, my feet have been in excruciating agony for about a week now. Probably because of the diabetes. It was so bad last night that I woke up at 4am in tears. I didn't know what to do so I went in to urgent care yesterday. I didn't want to go back to the ER so soon, but I know things still weren't right so I wanted to see at least some kind of medical professional. The only UC that takes my insurance is all the way down in Santa Clarita which is about a 40 minute drive from where I live. After waiting an hour, when I was finally seen I told them all about the hospital and the Sepsis, and that I think I need more antibiotics. They told me that they didn't want to prescribe me more antibiotics after having just finished a recommended dose. But they'll still check my blood and urine for any infections or other problems.

I was stabbed 15 to 20 times by 2 different """medical professionals""" who just could NOT find a vein. To which the doctor was like, "Okay, now you need to go to a lab." I didn't WANT to go to a fucking lab... I already took the day off of work to come HERE. Now I need to take tomorrow off to go to a fucking lab in the hopes that they can do what this Urgent Care could NOT accomplish. Completely wasted time, money, and gas. And all I ended up with was my veins even more blown out then when I arrived. Didn't prescribe me a damn thing either. Not even for the pain or even some god damn foot cream for fuck sake.... I was also straight up LIED to by one of the doctor/nurses/scammers who said that they will notify the closest lab so that I can get this done NOW. But when I looked up the locations on Google maps, every location was closed... even though he said that they're open until 8. So when the doctor came back in she was just like, "Yeah, they're all closed. Just go tomorrow....

Just a reminder that I fucking HATE doctors. Doctors seem to exist in this fake reality where they all think that time is infinite and that you can just GO to a medical facility and be seen and treated in 5 minutes. Had I gone back to the ER, I would most likely be stuck there again for multiple days. Well ya see... there's this little thing in life called... MONEY. And if you don't make money... you become HOMELESS. And I've already missed a full week of work. Now it's been about 2 weeks. Thank god I work at a job that's very supportive of my wellbeing and won't just up and fire me for the time that I've missed. But I'm also NOT getting paid! And I already used up all my sick time!

There is something so wrong and broken about the US healthcare system where I just want to get better. I just want to NOT be in pain 24 hours a day. And their reaction is, "We need to HOLD you in a building for multiple days instead of just giving you want you need. That way we can charge you up the ass! Charge tax payers up the ass! And especially charge the State up the ass!" Because this is California! Just become a millionaire and all your problems will just go away!

I just want to get better....

I'll cut to the chase and then provide the full story in depth. On Tuesday morning at 2:36 am I went to the Emergency Room because of a sudden and rapid illness I developed over the weekend. I ended up with "Sepsis." For those that don't know what that is, here's a brief rundown:

"Sepsis is a life-threatening medical emergency that occurs when the body's response to an infection damages its own organs and tissues. It's caused by an infection that spreads or triggers an immune system response that affects other organs or systems. It causes extensive inflammation throughout the body that can lead to tissue damage, organ failure and even death."

I was told by the doctors that I had a very serious kidney infection and it was a good thing that I came to the hospital when I did, because if I waited even a few more days I could have died. Later I was seen by a urologist who told me that I had kidney stones. One that got lodged in my kidney and started causing massive blockage of the infection, Well according to him, I pissed it out at some pint and that's when the flood gates burst open and the infection got into my blood stream. So here's the entire story:

On Saturday night I took my girlfriend out to DJ night at my work (Transplants) for a fun time. She went off to dance with some friends, I don't like to dance, so I did what I usually do and sat at the bar to have some drinks. Keep in mind that at this point I was feeling just fine and my blood sugar was even at a decent number. I had even said to a co-worker "I feel great..." So while I was at the bar, I started to get a bit of a chill. I just thought, well I'm directly underneath one of the swamp coolers. So I just grabbed a hoodie out of my car and went back to it. After a while the chill started to grow and my stomach started to hurt. Bad. Like food poisoning bad. The bartenders said I'm not looking so good and I should go take a nap in the office. So I did. I laid there on the couch for a couple hours writhing in pain. I for sure thought that I must have some sort of food poisoning. My girlfriend came back to caress me. My boss told me that I should take the night off and that I should probably go to the ER or something with how quickly this just happened out of nowhere. But I just wanted to go home and sleep. I was sure it was just food poisoning from something I ate.

The night was rough. Just writhed in uncomfortable pain the entire night and day. My girlfriend wanted to help but there wasn't anything she could do. So she ended up going home so that I could get some rest. For 2 days I slept, had weird fever dreams, and woke up every hour to either painfully piss or painfully vomit. Because at this point there was nothing in my stomach and I was just puking bile. The mere thought of eating made me gag. I tried every version of home medication I could get my hands on. Nothing would work. I would go from having the sweats to having the chills, so drenched in sweat to violently shivering. Finally, at 2am I passed my roommate in the hallway, he said something to me but I didn't hear what he said. My only response was, "I'm scared..." This wasn't a thing that was just going away. He then offered to give me a ride to the ER and I reluctantly agreed and we were off.

So you know the diagnosis part, what followed was me bedridden for 4 days in the hospital. It was was cold and very hard to sleep. I also barely ate a thing because of the nausea and how terrible hospital food is. I also spent the first 2 days vomiting. The days felt so long as I had nothing to do but lay in bed and watch tv. When I was finally discharged, it was as if I was using my legs for the first time. They were so weak and sore. I'm so glad to be home now but I'm far from 100%. Also still struggling with something I thought I'd never have trouble with, eating! I've been slowly starting to eat again, but even thinking about food makes me sick. My body is still weak as a kitten, and I feel dizzy all the time. I'm taking the weekend off to fully recuperate.

ALL projects are now on hold. I'm sorry to everyone I owe commissions but I have absolutely no drive to draw and I'm not sure when it will come back. I just want to get better and hopefully make a speedy recovery. Thank you all for your patience.

Because I can't favorite journals, here's one of the most important ones I've read. Posting it for myself and also anyone else who needs it: https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10942602/

Say NO to fucking AI art! Or as I like to call it, Anal Intrusion art.

I'm probably the last person who should be posting a journal on  Dragoneer's recent death, or anyone's death for that matter, since I always turn everything into a joke. I also didn't know the guy very well. We spoke maybe twice through a note and I think he left a comment on one of my food posts, but besides that I only ever knew him as "The guy who created FA." Still, it came at quite a shock reading the words "Dragoneer Has Passed Away" below my banner. I had skimmed through his recent health journals the following weeks thinking, "Eh I'm sure he'll be fine." Not aware of how serious it actually was. In dealing many times with medical problems myself, I can easily tell you how infuriating the American healthcare system is. It basically goes like this; "Are you dying? No? Okay, well then fuck off and come back when you're dying! We're all on our lunch break right now! That'll be $30,000.00, please!"

I've read many journals now touching on the subject stating that FA feels like a second home to them. And to that I say, FA does not feel like a second home to me... because it IS my home. I ironically joined this site shortly after my family and I lost my childhood home that I lived in until I was 20. I've moved 6 or 7 times since then, so no place feels like home to me. Just a temporary location to store all my stuff in. But FA has always been there for me. It's stood the test of time for better or worse. All these other sites furs keep saying they're jumping ship to. Well the ship never sunk. And every other site just completely SUCKS to post art to. Can't post porn on Instagram. Twitter gets worse every day and just gets lost in Doomscrolling. Tumblr is dead. Facebook is fucking worthless. And Deviant Art should change it's name to AI Art. Weasyl, inkbunny, Itaku, Pillowfort, Bluesky. All garbage!

Honestly I'm not sure what I'm going to do if FA finally goes down. This is the only site I feel at home. I can post almost anything I want which is more then I can say for half of the sites I mentioned. Even though I've thought about giving up on art altogether, there was never a point in which I wanted to "leave FA forevers!" as I've seen some people do. I will say I'm not too worried about it since the site has already had multiple "This is the end" scares. Especially when IMVU bought it to legally steal artwork. I actually wasn't trying to make this journal all about myself so I'll move on. :/

It especially sucks that humans have collectively all agreed throughout history that the only appropriate time to honor someone is after they're no longer alive. Dragoneer seemed like a good dude to me and one of the only website owners to actually care about their community instead of money. Do you really think Elon Musk gives a flying fuck about Twitter users? And Fuckerturd screwed his best friend over. If he's willing to fuck over his best friend where the hell does anyone else stand!? Also, can we all finally admit that it wasn't Neer's fault for how terrible some of the mods turned out to be? I doubt that when he was hiring them that they just led in with, "Oh by the way, I also love grooming women and fucking my own dog."

RIP Dragoneer. You were one of the good ones in my book.

I'm gonna need some OCs for some sexy beach action for Pineapple Summer as I easily run out of ideas for characters to draw rule34 of. So I am yet again asking for your swinger OCs to be drawn having sex with mine, gay or straight. As always, no guarantees for any characters submitted, but all will be taken into consideration. Feel free to submit as many as you'd like. I do plan on drawing at least one OC getting it on with Wolf for Pineapple Summer, but the more the merrier.

So in trying to keep this as short as I can, an old friend of ours was assaulted by his girlfriend and forced to leave his house. But because he's a guy and she's half his size, the cops didn't care, his family didn't care, and his own mother didn't care which I found to be incredibly depressing. Because no matter what year we say it is, if you're a dude and you're getting punched and slapped and bitten by a woman, you're just supposed to roll with the punches and take it like a man.... So with nowhere to go, we offered him the couch here. He currently lived in Las Vegas and we live in LA County. So about a 4-6 hour drive. He's been here since Wednesday and just went back today to try and "smooth things over." So there's two possibilities with this situation. 1. His gf stops being a psycho bitch and everything goes back to normal, or as normal as it can go for now on, and he moves back in and everything goes just fine. (Unless she pulls this shit again). 2. She keeps being mad at whatever she thinks he did, and he moves in with us. Or at least crashes on our couch until he finds a job and gets a place of his own. Silver lining, maybe we both could find a place together because as a reminder, my roommate will be giving birth to her first newborn child in July. So I'm basically just on borrowed time until the kid needs a room of his own. We won't know which reality we slipped into until tomorrow, maybe even later. So that's what's going on atm.

Plans for Future Submissions:

-PRIDE MONTH-
-Pride month is right around the corner, so I'm most likely going to be posting some more gay shit with Wolf. Sucking off dudes and giving (or receiving) up the ass. Was thinking of maybe doing some YCHs, or maybe just do what I did with that Wolf Bukkake picture and have people offer up their (Fur)Sona's. Maybe both we'll see.

-SUMMER PICS-
Summer is practically here, so it's time to fire up some more beach related voyeur and Exhibitionism. Gotta do some more Nani and Toriel related stuff while I'm at it. Not sure why I associate Tori with summer, but I sure love drawing her in swimsuits. Until the swimsuits come off of course. Might also do some YCHs for that as well.

-NIGHTMARE INC-
Don't worry, Nightmare Inc is still in the works. I got a bunch of frames I haven't figured out yet but it's getting there. On top of that, I have a side project for it that I have been working on for a LONG time now that I can hopefully get out there soon. The first half at least, then follow it up with a second part appropriately around Halloween. But any number of crazy shit could happen in that time. Ya know, like my friend getting assaulted by his girlfriend! The next page will be done soon, I promise.

-COMMISSIONS-
I have about 2 or 3 full comic commissions I'm currently working on, so those will also take a while. This message is pretty much for those 3 commissioners. I'm doing the best I can guys! Thank you for being so patient! ^^

And that's all I've got for now. I'll be taking a mini vacation this Memorial Day weekend. But besides that it's back to the drawing board as usual. I rarely plan these things out, I just kinda draw whatever or whoever I feel like drawing Wolf's penis inside of. If you guys have any requests (IDEA REQUESTS! NOT FREE ART THAT I WILL 100% COMMIT TO DRAWING!) then let me know who or what you'd love to see me draw. There's always potential to take on a new challenge.

When I first moved in with my current roommates, I knew that the responsibilities of the house I had with my parents wouldn't go away. They would just take on another form. Laundry, washing dishes, cooking, cleaning, and most importantly taking care of the pets. I've had pets my entire life, mostly cats so I was prepared. What I wasn't prepared for however was the obnoxious nature of their cat, Snowball. This 17 year old boy had what we could only assume was "cat dementia." He would be fed one can of food in the morning and one can of food at night. But every day, he would scream at us that we need to feed him as if he hadn't eaten in weeks. Literally gulping it down as fast as he could so he could then run over to his sister cats bowl to finish hers too. Therefore, my morning routine of groggily making myself coffee would always be interrupted by Snowball impatiently meowing at me while pacing across my bare feet with his claws out. The cycle would continue until his can demand was made.

It's been about a year now and this has just become part of the routine now. A similar routine would follow with dinner. As the roomies and I sit in our claimed spots on the couch with trays of food in front of us as we watch one episode of some show, the 2 cats and 1 dog would always crowd around us. As you could probably guess, Snowball was always the first to jump into our laps to try to get even a single morsel of food from our plates. A cycle that would repeat of gently tossing him off of the couch, or calming him down and allowing us to eat as he rests purring in someones lap. When our meals were finished, any attempt to leave the couch would be bombarded by Snowball's relentless meowing for his dinner as well. Keep in mind that if we feed him early, he would just forget we fed him later and the cycle would just begin again. And feeding him too much would result in him barfing. Therefore we tried to keep him on a strict feeding schedule of right before bed so we could all get some damn sleep. Otherwise he'd be meowing in the hallway all night.

Before the weekend... Snowball did something I'd never seen before.... He didn't eat his food. This was the third time now that he's had a bad UTI. We can always tell when it's flaring up again because he would lay down inside the litter box. Which was extra disgusting because he no longer grooms himself. I assume because he was trying to pee and couldn't. Or he just wanted to lay on something cold because he had a fever. Over the weekend we did all that we could to help the little guy. We were giving him antibiotics because after all, this has happened twice before and he's always sprang back to his normal can-begging self. I even layed out a blanket on my bed for him to lay down on. He'd rest for a bit, then wander around, then lay back down. It was as if he was trying to find something, lose all his energy, lay down, recharge and then back up again. But he refused to eat. His beloved can of food stayed in the bowl. We were even bringing it to his face begging him to eat, but he just wouldn't. We layed him down on his bed making him as comfortable as we could hoping that the antibiotics would do their thing and make him all better. After all he's got a lot of cans left to chow down on.

Snowball died on Saturday at Midnight....

We buried him in the backyard the same night/early morning however you look at it. We're not religious so we didn't say any final words. Just stood their in silence crying for a good 10 minutes or so. What I wasn't prepared for came the next morning. I had awoke to my usual routine of making coffee... which had gone completely uninterrupted. Snowball was gone.

I never knew silence could be so deafening....

Yep, I made one: https://bsky.app/profile/otaconxix.bsky.social

Like all social media, I have no idea what I'm doing and will probably stop using it after it logs me out and tells me my password is incorrect and that I need to make a new password, but I'm not allowed to reuse the same password I just put in that they told me was incorrect. But any reason to ditch Twitter for a better clone of Twitter is a good decision to me at this point. Any tips n tricks, please let me know. I know porn art is allowed, but can I post pictures of my dick?

I am about to straight up spoil what may be the best scene in all of video game history. It's from Alan Wake 2 and if you've played it already, then you probably already know the scene I'm talking about. Even if you've never played it, it was already spoiled by the Game Awards and pretty much every YouTuber who reviewed it, so if you have any desire to play this game, please do before reading this. Alan Wake 2 is a third person survival horror game in which you fight people corrupted by evil shadow monsters. There's much more to it then that, but that would be getting into story specifics. What I wanna focus on is what I've been obsessing about for over a week now. Half way past the game while trapped in a time loop, you'll just be walking along and then THIS shit happens:

https://youtu.be/CsmCoI5QJ3k

As Alan Wake, you enter into a music video time loop in which he, himself, is confusingly singing and dancing along with characters that he's met throughout his playthrough. Being led through this labyrinth of screens and stage props, Alan (you the player) need to figure out how to get out by solving puzzles and also fighting more shadow monsters, all the while the music video plays on as you go through a set of time loops basically breaking down Alan's entire life. This music video was done with the help of a real band and also fake band that also exists in the game called "Old Gods of Asgard." If they're not a real band, then they at the very least made a full album for this game. Here's the full music video:

https://youtu.be/uxs_HYw_mLk

What's even more crazy is that there's about 5 different versions of this one song "Herald of Darkness." An 8 minute radio edit, this 10 minute music video, the full version of the song at just over 13 minutes, and then the full FULL version of the song that includes ALL of the music video edits they used for the game at nearly 30 minutes long! What's even more impressive to me is not only is it live action, but the song is catchy as fuck. On top of that, they created an original synchronized dance number. Pay attention to that dance loop, it's so good! On top of THAT, the song switches up the genre, going from metal, to soft rock acoustic during the sad part of Alan's life. Once that part of the game is done, Alan's all like, "Oh good, I escaped" NOPE!! Straight up pulls a 1408, he's STILL trapped in the music video time loop as it changes the tempo AGAIN to coffee shop lounge jazz! His music video couterpart straight up singing that he needs to figure it out to bring the song to it's end.

At that point I was just like, wow this is pretty impressive. NOPE!! It's even more impressive when you realize that Alan's body actor ISN'T the same as his voice actor! They're 2 completely different guys! Which means the voice actor needed to learn the song, and the body actor needed to learn the song to lip synch to it and also the dance choreography. WHAT!? No no! It doesn't even end there! The guy standing next Alan on stage that doesn't say a word. That's Sam Lake! Better known as Max Payne, who made the fucking game! He included himself as a character to dance along with this music video! Are you fucking kidding me!? And once this scene is over, that's IT! End of the bit! Moving on! That's a fucking budget right there! Sooooooo much effort for this ONE scene. I have been to almost every fucking Marvel movie theater experience and not a single one of them have come even remotely close to giving me such an emotional thrill ride as this one scene. This ONE scene that I don't even think any of the reviewers for it were as blown away as I was. Like, "Yeah, that music video scene slaps." NO!... That music video scene fucking changed video games. The bar has officially been raised! There is hope for non-multiplayer video games after all.

A similar thing happened in Remedy's last game, "Control" which is an SCP game where you play as the new Director of the "Bureau of Control" and need to take down an evil Hivemind know as the "Hiss." You're given an object of power which looks like a cassette player that plays a song by, you guessed it! "Old Gods of Asgard" to navigate a maze. Like this was the test flight for the music video scene:

https://youtu.be/nudSXUMBEV4

Control also makes several references to Alan Wake, so Remedy basically is just the new and clearly much better version of Marvel atm bridging gaps between each games. I LOVE this music video so god damn much and have been listening to it for a week straight. I don't think they'll be able to top it, but I'm excited to see what they do next. I just want games to be fun and not take themselves too seriously. Why can't we have more fun things like this?

11/10 There's still hope for video games.

So for those of you keeping track, 2023 was not a very good year for me. The trouble soon began after I decided to regrettably move out of my parents and into my best friend and his wife's house. To which several things proceeded to spiral more and more out of control. For those of you wondering, yes, I am still currently living with them. For those of you who think that I'm insane, ya gotta see it from my point of view. When I was living with my parents I was miserable, and we only seem to live at any given place for 1 to 5 years give or take. Not sure how often any of you have moved in your life... but moving sucks ass. I'm so fucking tired of doing it. It is my own personal Hell and if Hell actually exist, it will be my own torment of packing up all of my shit. Moving it somewhere else. Unpacking all of my shit. And only after everything has been unpacked and put in a proper place, I will need to pack it up again to move it to another location, and do it all over again. I've done this at least 20 fucking times in my life and I just don't want to do it anymore.

Things have gotten better. I had a long talk with both of them where I couldn't hold back my feelings anymore. It seemed to resonate with them at least to some extent because they don't seem to fight as much, at least not when I'm around. Which is really all I want at the moment. They also told me that they like having me around, which is more then I can say for my dad. So the time being, unless another fucking catastrophe hits (and I'm sure it will) I'm staying. However... female roommate is pregnant and they intend to keep the baby. Which means I'm going to need to move out at some point anyway because they will need a room for their newborn if all goes according to plan. So I'm here until Fall at the longest. On a related note, my brother's girlfriend is ALSO pregnant! And they too intend to keep the baby. So I'm fucked. As always, I'm fucked no matter what I do....

Realistically, my best bet is to find a new living situation with someone else other then these 2 parties. But keep in mind that I live in California. Living by yourself in NOT possible here. It's just NOT. And I have trust issues with people I don't know. So Unless a trusted coworker takes me in, I have nothing. My life doesn't feel real at times. Like I'm trapped in a 90s soap opera or something. My friends are going through a rocky marriage and also she's pregnant! *dramatic sting* But my brother's girlfriend is also pregnant! *SUPER DRAMATIC STING*

More bad news, I was informed at the end of January that our oldest living cat, Jazmine, needed to be put down. She made it all the way to 22. So a good and long full life for a cat for sure. Still can't help but fell sad and also broke down crying at work. Luckily I don't work retail anymore, and my bosses were very supportive. If I were still working retail, I'm sure they would have said, "The fuck are you crying about? Aren't you in your 30s? Suck it up, little girl, we've got orders to fill!"

On a lighter note, I started taking stress gummies and my god... what a fucking difference they make. Those stupid fucking doctors, and therapist, and psychiatrist were all like, "You NEED to stop looking for a quick fix! Your ONLY options are seeing us every week giving us all of your money for years and years. It's a long and grueling process!" Nope. Just needed some fucking stress gummies! They don't take away the sad, but they at least keep me out of my own head and stop thinking so god damn much. At least for a little while. Nothing will take the sadness away and the sooner I realize that, the sooner I can at least try to make some positive changes in my life.

Speaking of positive changes, I finally started going to the gym again. Are you fucking happy now to the 20 people who kept telling me that the gym would be my quick fix!? In all honesty, I forgot how good it feels to just walk for an hour on the treadmill. I can't run because of the asthma... but I can walk for miles, no prob. In the mean time, I've just been doing what I do. Living one day at a time and getting those damn bills paid. Without Mommy and Daddy around to feed me, all of my money now goes to bills and especially food. Thank you so much inflation for making every burger combo $10 to $15 a person now!

That's all I've got for now. Valentine's Day is next week. So ya know... boo hoo, girls won't sex time with me or what the fuck ever. No Love. I'm sad.

Happy 2024 a week in! I'm not taking requests, but I am curious as to what people would enjoy seeing me draw in the new year. Any particular characters you'd want me to draw or even bead projects you'd want to see from me? Any suggestions I'm willing to hear out. Also any additional feedback of any kind would be great.

My New Years resolution is that I officially give up, and am going to be moving back in with my parents. I feel like this is the third or fourth time I've posted this journal, but it's for real this time as I cannot continue to live like this. I was promised a break this weekend as my roommate and his wife were planning a road trip down to a ghost town with their dog before the years end. Allowing me a chance at some much needed rest, peace and quiet so I could focus on finishing up some commissions and 2023 art right before we roll into 2024. But instead of doing what they said they were going to, for whatever reason they decide to just argue with each other until 5am. They slept in until 1pm, and soon as they were awake, it was right back to screaming and yelling at each other. Like, "Yawn! Oh what a lovely morning. Now where were we? Oh yes, that's right! We were screaming at each other! FUCK YOU!!" Meanwhile, I was barricaded in my room like I'm a fucking teenager while Mommy and Daddy are fighting.

After being talked out of suicide for what feels like the tenth time by my Mom. She finally convinced me that I have nothing to prove by living like this and that I need to move back in. I mean holy shit, she lived with her mom until she died in her late 60s. But she's not going to force me to do anything I don't want to do. The only thing from keeping me from going back is my Dad, who is regrettably still in the picture. But at this point, he really seems like the lesser of 2 evils. And I can always just ignore or not talk to him. So my mind is finally made up. I'm crawling back home. January will be my final month here for sure. I'm going to TRY to have a good New Years Eve, and then begin packing up all my shit. The main reason I moved here in the first place was to escape a toxic relationship with my dad and to experience being out on my own. All that I've learned from this is that I'm always fucking broke and sad and lonely and feel even less love then I already did. Which has officially fallen into the negatives.

The grass is not greener on the other side. It's just a different kind of fucking grass....

Happy 2024!

Thanks so much to everybody who submitted a character to this years Christmas orgy. I am very happy with this sexy batch of OCs and have already started pairing. I hope this years group pic turns out the best. ^^ Also, don't forget about my $5 "Stocking Stuffies" commissions that I'm only offering until the end of Christmas. Available in "Naughty" or "Nice."

Naughty (NSFW): https://www.furaffinity.net/view/54501846/
Nice (SFW): https://www.furaffinity.net/view/54501704/