I'm gonna dress the part of the Easter Bunny. I think it's something that I've wanted to do for a long time. And have never pulled the trigger on. Perhaps next year'll be my turn!

Happy Easter until then, you all. Enjoy all the hot bunny molestations you can get. Or give. Or both! You know most of us are pretty equal in those regards.

I'm gonna pre, dude.

I'm gonna fuckin' pre.

B-B-B-Bumpin' a journal for a friend who's doing some artwork!

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8097815/

Go over and give  remaninglife some love!

I just want all you single people to know just how important you are. Because we as a whole make up a proper portion of the population and therefore deserve to be recognized. Send yourself flowers! Take yourself on a date! Make sweet love to yourself several times. Damnit gurl, you worth it!

So I'd like to get my own personal Telegram Sticker pack. So, if there's anyone in the know, point me in the right direction. Blue Bunny Stickers would be awesome.

Skibbity-boobeh, am I right? Yeah, I'm right.

Really, though, thanks to folks for some kind words. Made me feel a bit better. My big thing is I'm about my family and getting to see them during the holidays. Lots of folks seem to dislike holidays and never really understand why people celebrate. For me it's always, or supposed to be, a chance to go home and visit family. Be with them. Eat with them. Sleep in their houses and snore all night. It's a reconnect and a reset of sorts that helps build my spirits back up so I can continue on into the new year. I just really got bothered because I didn't get to do any of that. I always take vacation on my birthday and that didn't happen because of my training school. Then I got put on overnights just after Thanksgiving, so I don't have the chance to roll my schedule over, then back again so I can see people, then get back to work. I'm a late-night person, sure, but not overnight. And it sucks having several days in a row off where you just kinda... sit blankly. Gives you too much time to reflect upon past bad things that you may have done and that's not good for one's mental state.

So again, while I do apologize for having vented like that, I also feel that I needed to. It's cathartic, in a way, getting your frustrations and anger out there. You let off steam and it gives you a chance to build back up, I suppose. At least that's what it does for me. I vent, I feel better. Someone at least heard my problems and I can feel like I'm good to go once more. Mostly. And sympathy does feel good to. I can admit that. It's nice to get a wellwish from someone.

So, blurgh, thank you again. We'll get back to posting regular smut-like activities.

I write this more as a chance to maybe get some of my emotions out there. I'd like to hope to make myself feel better, but more than likely it's going to sound like some whiney-ass journal. DON'T READ if you don't want to know about my emotional state.

I'm pretty miserable. Like, there's no getting around the feeling of misery I have that's looming over me. That has been looming over me for the past few weeks. It's especially intensified by the fact I'm currently on an overnight rotation at work. I don't have any real good outlets for anything that's fun in the middle of the night. Places close between eight and ten. People go to sleep around midnight, ish. I rarely drink, so a bar would be out of the question. Left in this state on my days off from work (which is three of them in a row) I about lose my mind each night. It's such a desolate, lonely, miserable, depressing existence. I don't have any options of doing anything outside of my apartment because there's no where to go. I sit in front of my computer with almost no one to chatter at because most all of my friends are asleep at that time. And playing games just doesn't cut it when everything's all single-player and has been worn out. This overnight stint is only supposed to be till the second or maybe third week of January, supposedly, but I've a bad feeling I'm going to get stuck. The one overnight AM I'm covering for is working at another store to help them out, and it's possible he'll be asked to stay. The other is leaving by the end of January, beginning of February. So if that occurs for both it's about 9% guarenteed I'll be slotted into a permanent position and that just won't bode well for me. It's making me increasingly hostile. I feel angry and hateful. I don't get mad at the people who work overnight because it's not their fault. And I can't really fault the store manager because he has to run the store. But I have this growing hostility that makes me ever increasingly hate-filled. Almost to the point that I want to start breaking stuff. It's bad. And I hate feeling this way.

And you couple that with the sadness I feel inside that builds from the growing loneliness I feel every day. I just want to have someone to be with. To call my own and to share something special. But it's just not meant to be. And I find myself saying that every day. What makes it worse is that I have this pretty bad case of eczema that's got me all flaky and nasty-looking. So even if I did have someone I wouldn't be comfortable trying to be close because I would look and feel like a total mess. Gross and disgusting is all I can call myself. I can't go see a dermatologist until sometime in January when I can get some time off. Holidays in retail are the worst, and anyone, most everyone, who's worked it knows.

And of course, I write this before I go to bed, so I can sleep for my shift at work tonight because we have to be ready to open up in the morning. Like, fuck man, there's just no time to spend with family or anyone. And I'm so miserable, and so sad, and so.... fuck. I hate this and I hate everything.

I know that someone's going to want to write 'That it'll all be okay.' I get that. I understand that. I can't process that right now. It's just not something that's going to be actionable until some other time down the road, you know? And let me tell you all there's days that I'd rather just die in my sleep. I'd rather just let things be over so that I can move on to the next thing. Or take the greatest vacation ever. No, I'm not going to kill myself, so don't even think that. I enjoy being alive too much. But there's times where I just don't want to bother with anything anymore. Because bothering sucks.

I'm emotionally a basket case right now, full of deep, dark, dreadful things. Once something changes, I'll be better. Until then I'm just... BLURGH. Fuck. Shit. Piss. Cock. God damnit all to hell.

Merry Christmas or something.

It's that time of year again, another mile passed on the odometer. Another 365 days passing to mark another year gone by. And this year I've got a bit to show for it, really. I think mostly in my crossover from hourly associate to salaried management. And, you know, other stuff. Things change, people change, lives change, but that's the way the world turns. And it's all good. We just have to make the most of the turning pages and continue to live on to the fullest extent that we can. Every time something goes awry, it gives you a good opportunity to seek out something else, or make changes in your life that perhaps better you as an individual and as a friend. ..... I think we all know that I could be a damn better friend at times.

Sorry.

But hey, today's my 34th birthday. So for the one day a year I demand your accolades and tributes. Poems and songs and happy plays about me and my greatness. Grandeur. That kind of thing. <3<3<3

Holy fuck balls... the insanity. I can't express how elated I am at this moment.

I applied for the Sams Club next door to my Walmart to get into the Assistant Manager Training Program, AMT. The interview was not so great because I was flustered and frustrated and don't interview well at all. The lady was really nice on the phone and gave me helpful hints, but overall seemed to not want a Walmart associate in her store. Okay. Said I'd get a call back letting me know something. Never did. Called a week later to get anything and I got a 'We just submitted our suggestions and you should get a call in a week.' Still nothing. Only found out through an email two weeks later that I was passed over.

Three weeks ago-ish I applied for the ATM Program in a Walmart one town north of me. Would me a twetny-ish minute drive to work, but that's doable. The interview, again, wasn't the best because I'm just terrible at interviews. However, there's a lady there who became an AM from my store that I've worked with for a few years now. She's had nothing but good things to say about me apparently, and the manager that did my interview went more off of that. Saturday, I sent him an email thanking him for the chance to interview and how much I appreciated the time. He sent me back an email several hours later stating he'd submitted my name, that I should be getting some information soon, and that he looked forward to working with me. That spoke a lot to me, and has kept me in a good mood.

Till today. When I got my phone call. With my job offer. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm so super excited right now. I have to go take another drug test for the promotion, which is fine! And after that and another background check, I'll be looking at going into the AMT Program on August 8th. That's a month away. Holy shit.

I've been at my current store for Almost six years. Would have been six in October. And as much as I love my store and it'll always be my home store, I've been ready to move on to another store for a while. This is such a golden opportunity... I can't pass it up. So, going into salaried management where I could really let a career take off if I wanted. Not sure just yet, but. We'll see!

SO HAPPPPPPPPY! HNNGH! FUCK!

In less than twenty-four hours we shall have a definitive Warden of the North. Will it be our hateful, mutilating man Ramsey Bolton? Or will our intrepid heroes Sansa Stark and Jon Snow win? Will Littlefinger join in the battle? What about Brienne of Tarth and Podrick Payne? And poor Rickon Stark locked away. Will he make it out alive?

Tell me what your predictions are, if you happen to watch the show!

Man.... I've been in this fandom for seventeen years. That's... almost exactly half of my life at this point. Half of my existence dedicated to anthropromorphized characters that were the parts of me that I wanted to be and some of the parts of me that I liked. An existence that's seen sooooo many people, furs, pass through. The numerous folks I made as acquaintances and friends. Some as fuck buddies. Some as just names I've recognized through the passing years. Different sites perusing art and stories. .... never having been to a convention. I have to say it's been a wild ride. So many different points of highs and lows. Thinking back on the person I used to be when I started and how I've changed along the way. Going from a whiny, pissy baby to a pissy, whiny baby. The folks I've pushed away with negativity and those that have stuck around for the longest. Names that have changed several times and identities that have morphed and become better and worse.

I've always had an attraction to animal folk, much like others here, from when I was a little thing. There's always been a kind of comfort that's been offered in the thought of being something different than what I am. That fascination was given a more clarified meaning when I got my start on a now defunct MUCK Called TimeScape. I was there for a bout a year, attempting to roleplay as 'Satoshi' from Pokemon. Lame, right? That really didn't go anywhere though as the friends I was supposed to do that with never followed through with what was planned. From TimeScape I made the jump to SocioPolitical Ramifications. That was an interesting time, moving from there to Tapestries, and another placed called Herp Haven 2. From those two places I made the most friends for the first few years of being around the furry fandom. It was there, on SPR, that Palmedo got his start, but under a very different name. Switch, from The Matrix. In my defense she was a bad-ass that got cut out too fast. And, initially, Switch was a generic horse. That only lasted a couple months as being an equine didn't feel appropriate. I bounced through a couple ideas quickly before settling on the bunny, who felt like a more comfortable fit.

Palmedo's had several variations, mostly seen in the form of an albino skunk. But on occasion taking up residence within the form of a gecko or some random hybrid. The rabbit though is where my heart lies, always and forever, and that will always remain the same. Except for when I had a bit of an identity crisis a few years ago. I wanted to make a drastic change. I was torn between changing into a Giant Panda and a Saint Bernard. I wanted to give Medo the more muscle-chub look that I'd become infatuated with, thanks for a few folks. But, neither ever fell into place because I just didn't want to lose the identity that Palmedo had created. Folks change their names and change their species sometimes because they feel they're better represented by something else. At the end of the day, any change I thought I could make would have betrayed who I was, who I knew I was, and who I really should be.

So, here I am, seventeen years strong and still a blue rabbit. And even he's evolved. Used to be really plain. No tattoos or piercings. One half-lop ear. No black highlights and not as tall as he is. But that changed because it felt like it was the best version of Medo. And it's all good. Some folks make the point of saying 'How do tattoos on fur work?' and I reply 'It's fantasy. The fandom is all based on fantasy and imagination and you should learn to employ just a little.'

But hey, not only am I celebrating seventeen years of being a fur, I'm also celebrating (several months late) my ten years on FurAffinity. And how it's changed over the years. Really, I'm glad for FA. Like with other mediums I've met a lot of good people and made a lot of good friends. There's still people I want to meet, but maybe in time. There's still a long, long time of being around and I hope that I get to make many more new friends.

You all are amazing and weird and frustrating and loving and convoluted and thought out and angry and loud and quiet and humble. This fandom is quite the melting pot of culture and ideals and thoughts and talent and creativity and I hope that you all never ever forget that. That it's good to be creative and different and have your creative differences, but continue to be as fair and honest as you can towards others. Some of you need to learn to be a little more honest and a little less brash!

---

TLDR: Seventeen years in the fandom. Ten years on FA. Love all you crazy-ass folk and look forward to seventeen more years. Seventeen is an odd number to celebrate, but I've never really celebrated the fandom before and I felt it was time to do so!

Oh gosh, I'm so nervous and excited. I have a scheduled interview for next Thursday for the Management Training Program. I'm all jittery right now. This is so exciting!

Well, it would seem that a rather golden opportunity has landed in my lap, one that would lead to the realm of salary. I never intended for my time at Walmart to ever go beyond just being a regular floor associate, in produce, putting out heads of lettuce day in and day out. Certainly for the longest time there I was contented. It's a pretty mindless job, stocking shelves. The most you have to do is read the labels, place the product in the correct spot, rotate old before new, and remove anything bad. It's easy. But there came a point the year before last where I suddenly wasn't happy with that anymore. I wanted something more, to push beyond what I'd been doing. I suddenly didn't want to just be that floor stocker for thirty years, so I applied for, and got the position I'm currently in right now. The first statement I made to myself after was 'I could probably see myself getting into the AM (Assistant Manager) Program in a year if this works out.' Fast forward that time frame and suddenly I am considering it. It was to the point that I was talking with my former AM about it extensively, trying to get a feel for some of the other things they work on and ultimately asking her opinion of myself in it. She told me directly that she felt I was ready.

Well, as I said, a rather golden opportunity has come upon me. The Sam's Club next door has opened up an Assistant Manager in Training position. I couldn't believe it. I was considering a Walmart Supercenter that was nearly a twenty minute drive away from me, and suddenly this store, that's in my five minute drive distance, pings out. That's not the only reason. I've been told that both Sam's and Neighborhood Markets are the best way to go getting into salary management. They're run different than a Supercenter and that they're easier to learn a lot of what you need. It would be an especially true case, considering just how hectic my store is. How busy we are because of our location.

There's more to this as well though, getting into the program. I've come to take pride in working with fellow associates and department managers. Not just in working with them, but helping them to develop themselves into better workers. Giving them the proper knowledge and toolsets to ensure their increased productivity and overall work ethic. I feel that sometimes folks don't sit down and talk with individuals to see what their needs, or see if they're having any issues, or just generally being abrasive because an individual's not working to what you feel should be their potential. I find myself very rewarded in that aspect because I've done everything I can to show this person how to do their job correctly. But in my current position I'm unable to be as helpful as I can be, so, I want to move up. Moving into the Assistant Manager position doesn't just give me better pay (which is a huge fucking bonus), but it allows me to help bring up even more people. To learn to show them how to be better and to work harder.

That... probably sounds conceited on my part, but that's not the intent or thought behind it. I do genuinely enjoy helping others facilitate themselves into something more. It's the kind of opportunities that I wish I'd been afforded when I was younger in the work force. Outside of being a kid, I never had any real motivation or drive to decide what I want to do with my life, career-wise. I could never really pin down anything that made me feel happiness, aside from being a cook. That's just pure joy in general though. And it's helping people, but only by a temporary means. And I do get a bit of a giddy trip creating something like that. But it's... it's temporary. It doesn't stick with, and it's just been in the past week that I've actually realized what I enjoy most.

I'm pretty damned excited, like I was when I applied for the position I'm in currently, and I love that thought. I love being excited for my work, and this is the first time in a while I've been so. It's reinvigorating and leaves me with a good feeling inside. Now, if I don't get the position of course I'll be a little upset about it, but not that much because I'm more happy that I applied and tried for it, rather than waffling over this decision like I had been the past two months. So, lots of positive thinking and well wishes. I will definitely enjoy those!

---

TLDR: Man. MAN. You.... you should just... just read it. Just read. Or don't. You can click away and go back to thumbing through porn. Touching yourself inappropriately. I wouldn't blame you.

So I'm coming up on seventeen years of being in the fandom. And for a while now it's felt like things have been in a sort of stagnant phase, where nothing really seems to feel correct and that the person I thought I was here really isn't what I am. A few days ago I put out a feeler journal about what you happened to like/dislike about the rabbit Palmedo. It turns out that one of the things people seemed to agree on was the tattooing. Like it was too much and too busy. I think I've been forced to agree on that issue. So, effective immediately all tattooing has been removed from the rabbit. Besides, people seem to feel that fur tattoos are a severe disconnect from the authenticity of being a furred individual, i.e. 'How does one actually ink fur and how does it not get messed up?' That's a fair question.

The second part to re-branding is the piercings. I have none in real life and therefore feel that they're not a proper representation of myself as an individual coming through my fursonification. So, effective immediately all piercings shall be removed from the rabbit.

However, there's another mechanic that's been scrutinized by individuals, and especially my boyfriend,  roger. The blue color. Despite my better efforts to prove to folks that blue tinted lapines exist, Argente de Champagne, there seems to be the sense from others that I'm falsifying information. So, effective immediately, the blue coloration shall be going away.

This leads to one final character flaw. As an individual, you should be able to properly speak to the form you reside in. It should be a testament to your physical standards in real life. Personified through my own real physical shape, a rabbit does not fit. I'm an not lean and fit, nor do I have muscles that make me look impressive. I'm an a heavy, overweight individual. When met in real life, I do not show the personable traits that happen to make me a viable rabbit. So, effective immediately, the rabbit shall no longer be in existence. Instead he shall be taken up by another heavy-set animal, known for it's rotundness. That shall be a Great Panda.

Unfortunately, this leads to the final conflict with a re-brand. The Name. Palmedo exists as a thought, an ideal, something I wanted to strive towards when I first created him seventeen years ago. He's gone through a number of tweaks over the years to be more in line with what I wanted my fursonification to be. However, my own personal self has never strived to follow this ideal, so the name 'Palmedo' is no longer suitable. So, effective immediately, 'Palmedo' shall be retired. I've yet to come up with a new name as I feel I need a bit of soul searching. So, temporarily, you may all call me 'The Compendium'. Does that fit me as an individual? Not yet, but I feel it's something I can better strive for, towards, until I figure out what my true name shall be.

I appreciate everything you've all done for me and I hope to be a better individual for you all in the following year.

---

TLDR: Probably April Fools.

What you like and what you dislike about Palmedo. It's a great exercise to pick something apart that you might not normally, to see what you feel is there, or what is lacking, or what is too much. All commentary's welcome.

I'm pretty curious to know what folk might think.

Here's to our beloved February 29th. May we seen you again in another few years for more of your 29thly goodness!

You were a great source of inspiration, and a great source of comfort. You who were very kind and gentle and very understanding of people. You who taught me that first impressions are most important and that you should always show the best side of yourself... even when I didn't always do so. You helped raise me, you nurtured me, showed me things as they should be, and not as they were sometimes. You gave everyone a chance when they needed it, and you didn't put up with bullshit when you were confronted by it. You took the time to understand a person and you took the time to care. You were supportive, and loving, and kind and worked hard so your family could have. And you never ceased to impress with your knowledge and your teaching, even when you were in the hospital bed, smiling at the gathered faces of your family. I love you, and I'll miss you so much. So much. You just don't know. I thank you for everything. Everything possible that you showed and taught, I thank you. For being that person that cared, I thank you. And for being yourself.

..


I spent fifteen years of my childhood with him and his wife, my Dad having moved in with them after his divorce from my Mom. And when my Dad remarried and moved out of state my junior year of high school, I still stayed with my Grandparents because I didn't want to leave where I was at. My Grandfather always took me to the hospital I volunteered at every day, and brought me home when I was done. He was a painter and a sketch artist. He was in the military and he worked for a bank, a motel, and a pest control company for years. Whenever there was a Pay-Per-View for a wrestling event he always got it so he and I could watch. It was always a lot of fun. And now he's with my Grandmother. And I miss them both. I do honestly hope I get to see them again one day. I love the both of you. Please, rest peacefully now.

Oh course, when it's December, you deeeeeer yourself!



Don't Roger and I look so good together? Though sometimes you gotta be careful because antlers get locked together. And I make a pretty good shaggy buck!

My heart goes out to you.

My buddy  konicoon is needing some help. He has a journal here ---> http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7076269/ where you can look at several of his YCH auctions. He does great work and is well worth the price!

Yeah, I decided to do this, so have!

1. You started to play videogames at the age of...?
Young. Super young. like, four, five?

2. First game you ever played?
Asteroid for Atari. I remember my uncle bringing home like three or four consoles and a bunch of the games.

3. First console you owned?
Sega Genesis.

4. Consoles you own/owned?
SNES, N64, Game Cube, WiiU, Game Boy Color, Game Boy Advance, Game Boy DS, Playstation, Playstation 2, X-Box, PSP, Sega Genesis. Briefly owned a Playstation 3 and a 3DO. I don't give away systems, and I rarely give away games. Mostly they sit on shelves in my room as decoration until I pull them out to play a game.

5. Your favorite genre(s)?
Action, Adventure, RPG.

6. Favorite game character(s)?
Crono, Lucca - Chrono Trigger, Lynx - Chrono Cross, James Raynor - StarCraft, Zidane - FF9, Link, Ganon - Legend of Zelda. Lots of others, I'm sure.

7. Which element(s) in games is/are most important for you (story, graphic etc.)?
Story, mostly. Character development, graphics. Enjoyment!

8. You don't care about ...?
Afraid anything sports or most racing and fighting. Not really my kinds of games. First Person Shooters fall here as well.

9. Prefer PC or Console?
Doesn't exactly matter to me, so long as I can have fun playing.

10. Your current 3 Fav games?
Chrono Trigger ALWAYS, FF9, Banjo-Kazooie/Tooie

11. 3 Games you didn't like...
FF7 (I know folks'll gripe at me), Donkey Kong, Majora's Mask (more hatred, I know).

12. One game that's totally overrated in your opinion?
FF7. I tried to play it, but I just could not get into the beginning of it. And knowing the plotline for the most part now probably doesn't help. Sorry, folks. And it wasn't the first FF I played, so that probably doesn't help.

13. Ever played an online game, if yes which one(s)?
World of Warcraft, City of Heros (briefly), Earth Eternal (briefly).

14. What do you think about ...Tomb Raider?
I remember the old, old, old version on old computers back in the old days that I played. That was fun. Haven't played anything new.

15. ...Tetris?
It's how I learned to stack pallets at work!

16. ...Sonic?
Sad to see that it's not a well liked series anymore. Sonic 2 was my jam back in the day.

17. ...Spyro?
Good games.

18. ...The Sims?
I'm sorry, did you mean Sim City? Cause that was fun. Never played The Sims.

19. ...Legend of Zelda?
Like you need to ask? Hell, mother-fucking, yeah.

20. ... Assassin's Creed?
Never played.

21. GAME OVER!!!
- WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT?
- Better try again.
- Well I'm done with this for now.

22. Game(s) you'd love to see?
Things along the lines of Banjo-Kazooie and Chrono Trigger.

23. Game(s) you're waiting for at the moment?
Yooka-Laylee. I'm soooooooo excited for that because Rare back together (under a different name)? Nostalgia!

24. Tag some gamers here, if you want to.
Anyone that reads and feels like offering their own!

It's pretty neat! Took a moment to figure out how to create them. I've gone through and added four, at least, to help organize a few things. I'm glad it's in, though it's never something I complained for.

As for the Beta itself, I say it's shaping up pretty well. I know folks like to complain and such, but I think if they take a few days to really just soak it all in, it's a lot better looking than classic. Perhaps a touch more functional as well. At least to me. And you can see changes, usually every day or two. Little tweaks here and there that help improve functionality and viewing. I'm pretty glad that  dragoneer has more time to sit down and actually work on the site.

Improvement is A+!

Of course this is all my opinion. Your mileage may vary!

Happy Birthday to me!
Happy birthday, dear me.
Happy Birthday to me!

Hee, I'm now 33 years old. Still don't really feel like I ever left my twenties. Or teens. Another year passes, sure, but I'm still just as immature as I was way back when I graduated high school fourteen years ago. All I ask for is your undying love and adulation. Just a simple, humble request, yeah? :D

Check out my buddy  konicoon's very helpful badge commissions. He's doing them for a good cause and would love some patronage if possible! Thank you all for your consideration!

You can find more information here @ http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17348176/

One: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JozAmXo2bDE

I mean, c'mon Foo Fighters. You have to now!

Two: http://kotaku.com/five-things-you-s.....-fr-1721103921

Fuck yes. I want this movie, and that they're doing practical effects for it makes this all the more awesome. Actual animatronics. Pleeeeease!