As I sit in the moonlight on a cool summers eve in the manner of a meditative monk and in fashion that I was created, as in the same way all things that were born into this world were. I peer into the night sky seeing no stars above me. Just the blanket of coal sky with the piercing light of the moon shining on my frail non adaptable body free from the constraints of social graces and modesty. I am free to breathe. A few stars appear in the sky as I look farther above my head. These stars are my goal in life. One to be happy and free to do my own thinking and doing without being used by others for their own goals. Two to express myself in a manner that I find peaceful meditative and exhilarating. These stars are also the people in my life. Which ones will go out in a days time and which ones will last forever. Only time will decide my course and grant my social interaction with people I have chosen to consider friends. I cannot predict the future nor anyone else's future but I do know that I need to focus on myself and my goals barring others from help for the time being because I am important and a worthy human being. It is time I changed into the person I had planned on becoming years ago before worry and stress destroyed my life and made me a wreck. Before demons and toxic people entered my life and distracted me from my goals. It is not my lifes goal to fund another persons life, it is not my lifes goal to sacrifice my time and energy to the tireless obsession to collect and horde worthless objects in the eyes and ears of the universe. I am bound for greatness and glory. Tomorrow will be a new day I can feel it. The future is upon me and the forecast is as clear and vibrant as the first rays of dawn.

Here is my friends etsy shop. He hand forges and hammers all of these items by himself. Check him out hes a cool dude *HUGS*

https://www.etsy.com/shop/StoboHollowForge

I follow these streams of life I run down swim jog to catch up and find these loopholes and shortcuts that will get me there faster but I cant do that anymore it was wearing me out and wrecking my body now I silently and solemnly walk along these waterways gazing at what I will. Smelling the flowers watching the deer run past as I sit in meditation along the riverbank and hum all things bright and beautiful while nature joins in and rejoices

Albert, Albert Where are you? I yell as I run out of the sliding glass door onto the patio. He has to be around here somewhere, it’s the middle of winter, five feet of snow on the ground and he runs out here without his coat? Brother, where have you gone? I slide to a stop when I reach the lawn. Did he go to the cleft in the hill? No… To his favorite spot? Maybe… I run to the age old stream of my youth now covered in a shroud of white satin. Albert feels at rest here. The distant memories of clothes drying in the breeze and mothers soft voice singing the words of Sella make tears well in my eyes. Oh I know where he is, under the old maple tree barren and leafless. Knelt behind a wall of snow at the base I see him bright as day. I run over to him and hug him. While calming his shrieks and wails barely audible over the blowing wind, I look into his eyes. I know that look, that sad disparaging look of someone who is alone with their thoughts. The snow around where he kneels has been flung and pushed away in distress. The tears running down his cheeks turn to ice as they hit the snow “What is wrong?” I say to my brother “what made you run away?” In his higher pitched 13 year old voice he says “she always knew what to do, what to say, how to make everything turn out alright, now she’s not here and I’m alone. His gaze fixes on a tombstone that reads Anna Maye Creston. “She knew me; she knew all of me” with teeth chattering he continues “Gregory…why did she have to leave us? Why is she gone? Why couldn’t I have gone instead…?” His words turn to tears as he cries. I hold him in a warm embrace; an embrace only two brothers can share, I put his head on my shoulders. I comfort him and dry up his tears with my soft voice “shh… its okay, I’m here for you”. I look into his eyes. “Parson Jacobson is wrong, you know that, you are a good person; you are pure”. Albert speaks again, his voice cracking, “Parson Jacobson doesn’t think so, why would he say I should be burned with all of the other heathens of the world”. “He says in church every Sunday “do not sin for then you become the children of Satan and are destined to do his will”. His body shivering as I say “Albert… that is why I stopped going to that church there, I have tried reasoning with him but father insists on bringing you along, his only good son I guess. Parson Jacobson is a bad person, with bad ideals and no one should listen to him. He has the same ideals about the Negroes that live around here, they have the right to exist just as any of us do.” “They don’t do anything wrong Albert says softly.” “No they don’t, they don’t deserve that kind of treatment.” “Remember Albert I will be with you in every decision you make and I believe that what you are is a good thing, has reason and a purpose. What right does a backwoods preacher have to say that you are going to hell for being in love…”? “No right I guess”, Albert says looking into my eyes. “Albert…You are not going to be condemned for being yourself... No matter what type of person you love, I know it is a foreign feeling that you have. I know it for sure, I realized you were this way, I’m like you, and I have that feeling”. “The feeling that goes against everything you have ever been taught but you know in your heart that it is true and can never be wrong; it is engrained in your soul and mind”. “Mother would have told you that… but I’m here in her stead and I know that is what she would say because she had that same talk to me 7 years ago when you were still young”. “She did? Albert says with wide eyes”. “Yeah I say enthusiastically, remember that mail boy named Josha?” “Um…I think Albert says.” “He was my first love, mom found us in the back gazebo kissing; Albert lets out a short laugh and grins a sheepish grin. Josha ran away and never came back. That’s when Mother said to me “Be yourself in every way possible and never doubt; for being true to yourself is the best reward, more than all the gold and riches in the world”. “She really said that?” “Yes she did Albert and I wish she was here to say it to you but we cannot dwell on the past. I’m here for you and that’s all that matters.” “Thank you so much for being around Gregory, I didn’t mean to run outside, I just needed to get away from the words that were being said, Albert said, hugging me tighter”. “No worries… Albert it will all turn out alright, ill explain to father and tell him never to invite Parson Jacobson to our dinner parties any more. We try to rise to our feet, but Albert is too weak to stand. “Well at least we know now that father won’t have any grand-children” I say in jest. “Serves him right Albert says, him being too cheap and not getting the doctor out to see mother when she really needed it. It’s his loss because we are brothers and we will take care of each other. He will have no one.” “Yeah” I say surprised at my brother’s words. As my brother regains his strength I take Albert in my arms and carry him back to the house. As I walk I hear the vocal words of Sella on the breeze. I wonder what mother must have know, what she got from that poem, In singing that poem so sweet what was she longing for?

We drink our glasses of white wine as the suns rays fade
think of the years events
of things we left behind for better or worse
items we needed to forget, to get on with life
sentimental things like friendships and lovers
or the tender things like how a warm hand feels on your shoulder giving you strength
as subtle as the white wine we now imbibe
we move on to sparkling wine
beginning to talk we toast to the sweeter things in life
of how a child's smile can make your day turn out just right
talking about how things will be from now on
how things will change
the way life rolls on to greener pastures and bears more fruit
laughing and talking ensues as the light fades, we sit nursing our drinks
never alone anymore my companion in musing mutters
my companion feels at peace, at home forever
people need to change
and I know we have both changed for the best
I feel calm as we sit next to each other
finishing our last drops of wine we look to the future
to the open skies as the sun slowly sets on the horizon
we continue talking till we can no longer see each other
even though my vision is gone I feel safe
a warm aura surrounds my body as my companions head gently rests on my shoulder
to fall asleep
to dream dreams
I know my constant companion will never leave
in that I can trust and live on

The stoplight in front of me is red as I wait at this desolate intersection
It feels like I have been here for ages
But who knows if time would pass very slowly here, it being so barren
I sit in my car, the engine idling
The sun above me beats down across this arid canvas
Far across the intersection an eagle soars in sky he is tiny from my perspective
Its seems like he is looking straight at me
On the left of my car stands a volcano, flaming hot with a path shooting off to the western horizon
To the right sits a pool of water, immaculately still again another path shoots off to the eastern horizon
In my eye line across the road stands a towering billboard which reads “for those who know life, know its risks, live! Take care in what you choose”
A smaller sign next to the stoplight reads “your life from a different perspective” with an arrow pointing down the road
I ponder on that for a moment…
Glancing, I look to the left; the volcano could mean a life rife with sin and debauchery.
That path probably leads to the pits of hell
A life I do not desire
Distracted, I look to my right; to the pool of immaculately still water
This path could mean my death, not in the literal sense
It could mean I will do nothing with my life, never get anything accomplished, get stuck in a never ending cycle of doing the same damn thing over and over again till I die, having no culture, no drive, no motivation.
Nothing to show for it, so many wasted hours, I would be living a lie
I would loathe that life, whole heartedly
I look to the sign I pondered on…
Could this mean a different way of life
a second chance a new outlook, a new found love?
Could it be something new to cherish?
This is the life I want
I know the risks, know the hardships
Looking down the road across from me, I sure in the fact that this was the road I was meant to take
I’ve always looked at things differently
Not looked at things society means or wants me to
They have no control, out of billions of people I am an outcast
One actually living his life not in fear or hiding but open and free like the wind
This is my path! I know it with all my heart! I just know!
I want to take that road
Let me go…
With a loud click the stoplight in front of my suddenly car turns green…
The volcano and the pool return to the earth for where they came
Grass grows all around, even covering the pavement beneath the wheels of my car
The whole arid dry landscape is rich and full of life at this moment
My car dissolves from around me I am left standing in this far stretching field of grass
The clothes fall off my body like sand and are swept up in the cool breeze that has just touched my body
naked and barefoot I stand as I wait in this field
The eagle I saw so long ago grows to the size of a dragon, with a wingspan of 50 feet
He stares intently at my innocent, truthful figure, looking me over, seeing if I am worthy
With the blink of his eyes, I feel something start to change, I feel different
I look at my body…
Feathers start to grow through my every pore
I’m definitely changing
My arms form into wings, graceful and perfect
Into something more natural more calm
The eagle motions for me to flap my wings; I try but the air glides right past them.
Relax let your old ways and thoughts fall away, a voice in my head says
It’s the eagle’s voice he has made a connection to me somehow
I take a deep breath…in…out…
I flap my wings again; with a burst of air and exhilaration I am taken up into the sky by the power of my wings.
Ha! Ha! I laugh as I fly next to the sprawling eagle
He is my guide, my rock, my comfort…
He has lead me on this path and I am grateful
With the eagle sailing next to me on the wind I take a deep sigh
With a nod from my avian companion we turn our bodies to the horizon
Knowing what I am is peace, just peace
I soar to the open skies…
I soar ready to live…

The cold wind blow against my ears as I sit
I sit on a lonely hill above a lonely town a lonely fox
the town is so quiet
it is a weird thing to hear
humans are so loud in everything they do
as I overlook this town I see two humans walk down a dark street
they are in each others arms
these two are quiet, at peace
is that what love does to humans
makes them passive and submissive
humans are weird like that
they are the most violent creatures
I hear they are descended from animals in a far off land
but who knows, for as long as I know we have always been foxes
I don't think we descended from anything
back to humans
they cut down out homes to make theirs
breed like rabbits
having a couple rabbit friends I don't think they would mind me saying that
they just enjoy the act I guess
humans also smell their musk fills the air like when the water falls from the sky
I would never like to be a human
I wouldn't like to destroy my homeland
to smell and waste food as they do
that is what some of my brothers have resorted to doing
scavenging for food in the humans bins where their waste goes
I don't do that I'm a natural fox
I scavenge for food without their help
receiving something from humans is just poison to me
pure evil
I am a loner and I like it that way
and I hope never to run into a human
they would probably kill me
we have a saying “humans are like porcupines...worthless”
just a little fox humor for you
I keep watching the town hopefully they move on
I want my home back
they think they can take everything from the land and never return it
a fox has more honor, more caring
we do have a soft side
to respect the land we call home
a daisy sits in my hand
I pull the pedals off in anger
for humans have no right to live everywhere
they should have a plot of land to live on and that it
I hate humans with all my being
hopefully they disappear so that the land can heal
I cry for the land
it bleeds as I walk
please Mother Earth get rid of these worthless creatures
wait,
well keep the ones who are quiet
the subdued and submissive ones
they deserve to thrive
live on quiet humans
live on