When is it the "right/good" time to conceive with your Husband/Wife?

How did you choose the name for your child? What inspired you?

Things You SHOULD Do

* You Should Get Regular Medical Exams
One of the easiest and best ways to avoid problems and complications during pregnancy is to get regular medical exams from your doctor or midwife.
* You Should Get the RDA (Reccomended Daily Allowance) for Folic Acid
By getting the proper amount of Folic Acid you significantly reduce your baby's risk for spinal bifida. The current recommendation is 0.4 mg of folic acid daily. See the CDC's recommendations for more information.
* You Should Check Your Immunity to German Measles (Rubella)
German Measles (Rubella), if caught during pregnancy, can lead to miscarriages and fetal deformities. The best way to avoid this possibility is to be vaccinated for Rubella prior to getting pregnant.
* You Should Take Prenatal Vitamins
Both you and your baby need plenty of vitamins during pregnancy, and by taking special prenatal vitamins you guarantee that you are getting everything you need. Getting the proper vitamins can also help you avoid diabetes.
* You Should Eat Plenty of Protein
The RDA of protein for pregnant women is 75 grams but 100 grams is often recommended. Adequate protein is essential for the development of the baby (especially the brain) and may help protect against preeclampsia during pregnancy.
* You Should Eat Well and Get Plenty of Exercise.
Your diet needs to include plenty of vitamins, minerals, fiber and so on, just as it normally should. You also need to exercise and watch your weight as your normally would.
* You Should Be Sure to Get Enough Fat in Your Diet
Fat and cholesteral, which you normally try to avoid, are important for absorbing the fat soluable vitamins (A,D,E, and K) and for strechable skin. Fat is also necessary for the developing baby brain. That does not mean you want to be over-consuming it, but you need to make sure you are getting enough. There are so many fat-free foods on the market today (fat free milk, butter, ice cream, meat, bread, cookies etc.), it is very easy to consume a fat-free diet without realizing it. 2 tablespoons of fat a day is recommended for pregnant women.
* You Should Do Kegal Exercises
Weak kegal muscles can contribute to pain during birth, premature flexion of the baby's head and a prolonged second stage. Childbirth can also weaken these muscles and cause discomfort afterwards.
* You Should Use House Plants
A modern house is full of hundreds of hidden chemicals that are emitted by paints and stains, carpet, particle board, household cleaners and so on. One of the best ways to filter and remove these chemicals is with house plants. Spider plants, for example, are known to be good at removing formaldehyde (which is quite common in paints).
* You Should Focus on Your Child and Avoid Negative Thoughts and Actions
* You Should Take Care When Traveling
Traveling when pregnant requires some special considerations, especially when traveling to foreign countries.
* You Should Talk to Your Doctor about Existing Conditions and Your Family History
If you have any pre-existing conditions, chronic problems or a family history of reproductive problems, you should let your doctor know about them so that he/she can take appropriate action. Pre-existing conditions include things such as diabetes, herpes (and other STDs), heart problems, epilepsy and high blood pressure.



Things You Should NOT Do

* You Should Not Smoke or be Around People Who Do
Smoking is such a well-known hazard to the mother that it only follows that it is also harmful to the baby. Yet hundreds of thousands of pregnant women still smoke. Secondhand smoke from smokers who live or work with a pregnant women can also affect the fetus. Exposure to smoke can result in spontaneous abortion, pre-term births, low-weight full-term babies, and fetal and infant deaths.
* You Should Not Drink Alcohol
Alcohol has a variety of negative effects on your developing baby depending on the dose and frequency. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) is the worst-case scenario, leading to severe retardation and other abnormalities. A quote from this article describes the dangers: "FAS is linked to birth defects and is the leading known cause of preventable mental retardation. It is characterized by a number of congenital birth defects which include prenatal and postnatal growth deficiency, facial malformations, central nervous system dysfunction, and varying degrees of major organ system malfunctions. "
* You Should Not Take Illegal Drugs
A quote from an article states: "In utero drug exposure is associated with an increased rate among newborns of low birth weight, central nervous system damage that may delay or impair neurobehavioral development, mild to severe withdrawal effects, and physical malformations such as cleft palate, heart murmurs, eye defects, and abnormalities of facial features and other organ systems."
* You Should Not Take Presecription Drugs or Over the Counter (OTC) drugs, Including Aspirin, Unless Told to Do So by Your Doctor
Drugs that are safe to take when not pregnant can cause devasting effects to a fetus when you are pregnant. If you are even thinking of becoming pregnant, you should discuss the use of any drugs you currently take with your doctor beforehand. See this page for general information on OTC drugs in pregnancy including a list of safe OTC drugs to take. They recommend not taking any OTC drugs during the first 8 weeks of pregnancy when the heart, lung, and brain is being formed.
* You Should Avoid Hot Dogs
Hot dogs have been implicated in several studies. (Note: It has also been found that children under the age of five who eat more than 1 hot dog a week may have an increased risk of cancer).
* You Should Avoid Caffeine
Caffeine taken during pregnancy is thought to increase the probability of a child contracting diabetes.
* You Should Avoid Contact with Reptiles
Be sure to tell your doctor if you have any contact with lizards, iguanas, turtles, or snakes as the salmonella virus is transfered through their feces and can affect your pregnancy. Also, children under the age of 5 are also at risk for contracting salmonella if they are in contact with reptiles.
* You Should Avoid Tick Bites
Tick bites open you to the risk of lyme disease, which can be deadly to your developing baby. A great book to check on this topic is, "Everything You Need to Know About Lyme Disease and Other Tick-Borne Disorders", written by Karen Vanderhoof-Forschner, a woman who developed Lyme disease while pregnant.
* You Should Avoid Fish
This warning comes from the November 27 issue of Time Magazine (page 31). Fish concentrate methylmercury, which is known to affect the developing child's brain.
* You Should Not Eat Junk Food
The basic problem with junk food is that it fills you up but does not provide vitamins or protein. As your stomach size decreases during pregnancy, junk food takes up room and prevents you from eating the foods you really need for your and your baby's health.
* You Should Avoid Vitamin A Supplements
By consuming as little as 4 times the RDA of vitamin A, you greatly increase the risk of having a baby with birth defects or other problems. Exposure during the first trimester is the worst. Natural sources of vitamin A are OK - it is foods that are artifically supplemented that cause the problem, and most foods are. You need to start reading packages to make sure you are not getting too much Vitamin A. Other fat-soluable vitamins such as D,E, and K can also accumulate in the body organs and tissues and high-dosage supplementation should be discussed with your doctor.
* You Should Avoid X-Rays
According to the book What to Expect When You're Expecting, the risks posed by X-Ray exposure are fairly small, with the greatest risk occuring early in the pregnancy. Informing your doctor or dentist of the fact that you are pregnant is probably the best way to control your risk. If an X-Ray can be postponed until after the pregnancy, then that would eliminate the risk.
* You Should Avoid VDTs
In this article is the following quote: "Kaiser's researchers tracked 1,583 pregnancies ... [and] were surprised to find a statistically significant 73% increase in miscarriages in working women using CRT-style VDTs (cathode ray tube style video display terminals), compared to other working women." Older VDTs are especially suspect. However, later studies have been less conclusive or contradictory.
An excerpt from a page, states, "Particularly vulnerable to excessive microwave radiation is the developing fetus."
* You Should not Use an Electric Blanket
Electric Blankets give off low-level electromagnetic fields which may be harmful to a developing baby.
* You Should Not Use a Water Bed
The heaters used in water beds give off the same electric fields as those found in electric blankets (see previous) and should therefore be avoided for the same reasons.
* You Should Avoid Drinking Tap Water if Possible
Recent studies have shown that drinking tap water during the early months of pregnancy can increase your risk of miscarriage. If this concerns you or you have a history of miscarriage, you may want to discuss drinking bottled water with your doctor. This article discusses research that showed California tapwater was linked to miscarriages.
* You Should Avoid Stress
Stress at work is defined as, "high psychological demands from work activities, and low decision-making powers on the job".
* You Should Not Expose Yourself to Pesticides
Pesticides (including insecticides, herbicides, fungicides and so on) can have a variety of effects on your unborn baby depending on the type of chemical, the length and intensity of exposure and the age of the fetus. In general it is best to avoid exposure to all pesticides. The problem is that pesticide use is extremely widespread in the U.S. You can be exposed to pesticides in your home (ant and roach bait traps, no-pest strips, houshold pest control products and services, flea collars on dogs and cats...), in your yard (lawn care services, do-it-yourself herbicides and insecticides on the lawn or garden), in your neighborhood (especially in rural areas, but also from suburban neighbors spraying their yards), from various food sources... The most you can do is attempt to avoid these dangers as best you can.
* You Should Avoid Fumes from Paint, Paint Thinner, Household Cleaning Products and so on
As with pesticides (see previous) the best you can hope for is educating yourself and trying to limit your exposure.
* You Should Avoid Raising Your Body Temperature
There is a potential danger to the developing fetus if your body temperature rises above 102 degrees. You can raise your body temperature to this level by getting a fever, by exercising too strenuously, working outside on hot summer days, and so on.
* You Should Not Use a Sauna, Hot Tub or Take Long Hot Baths
Hot tubs and hot baths have a tendency to raise your body temperature and therefore are to be avoided. See the previous item for details.
* You Should Avoid Cleaning Cat Litter Boxes. You Should Avoid Uncooked Meat.
Both cat litter and undercooked meat present the risk of toxoplasmosis, which causes birth defects.
* You Should Avoid Herpes
Herpes when transfered to the baby during delivery, can lead to severe complications. The easiest way to avoid this possibility is to avoid contracting herpes. If you do have herpes, you should be sure to tell your doctor.



Information from bygpub.com

What are prenatal vitamins?

For a mother's health, and the health of her baby, she is advised to take so-called ‘prenatal vitamins’ during pregnancy. These are specially formulated multivitamins that make up for any nutritional deficiencies in the mother's diet. While the supplements contain numerous vitamins and minerals, their folic acid, iron, and calcium content are especially important.



Why do pregnant women need folic acid, iron and calcium?

Folic acid can reduce your risk of having a baby with a serious birth defect of the brain and spinal cord, called the ‘neural tube.’ A baby with spina bifida, the most common neural tube defect, is born with a spine that is not closed. The exposed nerves are damaged, leaving the child with varying degrees of paralysis, incontinence, and sometimes mental retardation.

Neural tube defects develop in the first 28 days after conception, before many women realise they are pregnant. Because about half of all pregnancies are unplanned, the Department of Health recommends that you take 400 micrograms of folic acid each day while you are trying to conceive, and should continue taking this dose for the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. . A woman who has had a prior child with a neural tube defect should discuss the appropriate dose of folic acid with her doctor before her next pregnancy. Studies have shown that taking a larger dose (up to 4,000 micrograms) at least one month before and during the first trimester may be beneficial.

There are natural sources of folic acid: green leafy vegetables, nuts, beans, and citrus fruits. It is also found in many fortified breakfast cereals and some vitamin supplements.

Calcium during pregnancy can prevent a new mother from losing her own bone density, as the foetus uses the mineral for bone growth.

Iron helps both the mother and baby's blood carry oxygen.

While a daily vitamin supplement is no substitute for a healthy diet, most women need supplements to make sure they get adequate levels of these minerals.



Are all prenatal vitamins the same?

No, they are not. Look for one that includes approximately:

* 400 mcg of folic acid
* 400 IU of vitamin D
* 200 to 300 mg of calcium
* 70 mg of vitamin C
* 3 mg of thiamine
* 2 mg of riboflavin
* 20 mg of niacine
* 6 mcg of vitamin B12
* 10 mg of vitamin E
* 15 mg of zinc
* 17 mg of iron

Your doctor or midwife can also advise you on certain brands. In some cases, your GP will give you a prescription for a certain type of prenatal vitamin.



My prenatal vitamin makes me nauseous, what should I do?

Some prenatal vitamins can cause nausea in an already nauseous pregnant woman. If your prenatal vitamins make you sick, talk to your GP. He or she may be able to prescribe a different kind of prenatal vitamin (for example, chewable or liquid vitamins as opposed to those you swallow whole may be better tolerated by some women).



Info taken off of Wedmd.com

Me and my husband are going to start having kids soon. I know every pregnancy is different for every women, but I am curious to know what your pregnant experiences were like? both the good, bad, and disgusting. Thanks!

How often does it happen? Is there anything I can do to prevent it?

I have a 4 year old son, and am pregnant with a little girl. My best friend in the whole world just found out she was pregnant. I was really happy for her, but she says she is thinking about aborting the child. This is against mt beliefs, and her reasoning is all wrong. While I realize it is her right to get an abortion, she said, and I quote, "Thank god for abortion, or I would be swamped with kids already." This really makes me want to consider not being friends with her.

So, here is my question. As a parent, how do I explain to someone who keeps getting pregnant and aborting that what she is doing is wrong and there are other methods to not having children? And should I really be friends with a person who has such a different view on abortion than me? I'm sure as parents, you can all understand a bit about how much I was appalled by her comment.

This is sort of a weird question, but, I don't have any kids, yet. I love children. My whole family in terms of cousins and other people in my family are having babies. I'm waiting to have kids, but other than reading everything posted on here, and other websites, are there any other good things to do to prepare to have children? I want to be proactive while I am waiting for everything else to fall into place.

I'm a dad. I feel a bit left out when my wife breast feeds our newborn. We don't want to bottle feed, even breast milk from a bottle, but I am not sure how I can get in on the experience any other way. Suggestions?

When I had my kid, I went through some pretty deep Baby Blues/Postpartum Depression. I felt ashamed at the time, but am better now that I got a bit of therapy! Did that happen to anyone else? How did you pull out of it?

How long did it take for your parental instincts to kick in?

Birth to 1 month:

Feedings: 5-8 per day

Sleep: 20 hrs per day

Sensory Capacities: makes basic distinctions in vision, hearing, smelling, tasting, touch, temperature, and perception of pain

Generalized Tension

Helpless

Asocial

Fed by mother



2 months to 3 months:

Sensory Capacities: color perception, visual exploration, oral exploration.

Sounds: cries, coos, grunts

Motor Ability: control of eye muscles, lifts head when on stomach. Delight

Distress

Smiles at a Face, Visually fixates at a face, smiles at a face, may be soothed by rocking.



4 months to 6 months:

Sensory Capacities: localizes sounds

Sounds: babbling, makes most vowels and about half of the consonants

Feedings: 3-5 per day

Motor Ability: control of head and arm movements, purposive grasping, rolls over. Enjoys being cuddled Recognizes his mother. Distinguishes between familiar persons and strangers, no longer smiles indiscriminately.

Expects feeding, dressing, and bathing.



7 months to 9 months:

Motor Ability: control of trunk and hands, sits without support, crawls about.

Specific emotional attachment to mother. Protests separation from mother. Enjoys "peek-a-boo"



10 months to 12 months:

Motor Ability: control of legs and feet, stands, creeps, apposition of thumb and fore-finger.

Language: says one or two words, imitates sounds, responds to simple commands.

Feedings: 3 meals, 2 snacks

Sleep: 12 hours, 2 naps

Anger, Affection, Fear of strangers, Curiosity, exploration, Responsive to own name.

Wave bye-bye.

Plays pat-a-cake, understands "no-no!"

Gives and takes objects.



1 years to 1 ½ years:

Motor Ability: creeps up stairs, walks (10-20 min), makes lines on paper with crayon. Dependent Behavior

Very upset when separated from mother

Fear of Bath

Obeys limited commands.

Repeats a few words.

Interested in his mirror image.

Feeds himself.



1 ½ years to 2 years:

Motor Ability: runs, kicks a ball, builds 6 cube tower (2yrs) Capable of bowel and bladder control.

Language: vocabulary of more than 200 words

Sleep: 12 hours at night, 1-2 hr nap

Temper tantrums



(1-3yrs):

Resentment of new baby Does opposite of what he is told (18 months).



2 years to 3 years:

Motor Ability: jumps off a step, rides a tricycle, uses crayons, builds a 9-10 cube tower.

Language: starts to use short sentences controls and explores world with language, stuttering may appear briefly.

Fear of separation




Negativism (2 ½ yrs):

Violent emotions, anger

Differentiates facial expressions of anger, sorrow, and joy.

Sense of humor (Plays tricks)

Talks, uses "I" "me" "you"

Copies parents' actions.

Dependent, clinging, possessive about toys, enjoys playing alongside another child.




Negativism (2 ½ yrs).:

Resists parental demands.

Gives orders.

Rigid insistence on sameness of routine. Inability to make decisions.



3 years to 4 years:

Motor Ability: Stands on one leg, jumps up and down, draws a circle and a cross (4 yrs)

Self-sufficient in many routines of home life. Affectionate toward parents.

Pleasure in genital manipulation

Romantic attachment to parent of opposite sex



(3 to 5 yrs):

Jealousy of same-sex parent.

Imaginary fears of dark, injury, etc. (3 to 5 years)

Likes to share, uses "we"

Cooperative play with other children, nursery school. Imitates parents.

Beginning of identification with same-sex parent, practices sex-role activities. Intense curiosity & interest in other children's bodies.

Imaginary friend.



4 years to 5 years:

Motor ability: mature motor control, skips, broad jumps, dresses himself, copies a square and a triangle.

Language: talks clearly, uses adult speech sounds, has mastered basic grammar, relates a story, knows over 2,000 words
(5 yrs)

Responsibility and guilt

Feels pride in accomplishment

Prefers to play with other children, becomes competitive prefers sex-appropriate activities

When preparing a bag for the hospital or birthing facility, you need to consider the things both you and your new addition are going to need. You need to remember that labor goes on for a while in most cases, and you will be staying there at least over night. What kinds of things do you need for your stay? What things are your baby going to need once he or she enters this world?

When packing, you should remember your valid ID (Drivers license), Insurance card, and any other paperwork the hospital might require.

Also, remember your eye glasses if you use them. Most women in labor don't want to have to deal with those pesky contacts!

Most women prefer to pack their own bags of toiletries, because they prefer theirs over the ones the hospital might provide. Tooth brush and paste, deodorant, hair bands or clips, lip balm, and makeup (if you wear it) are all good things to not forget. Most hospitals provide shampoo, soap, and lotion, though you may prefer to bring your own.

Night gowns, slippers, socks, and occasionally a bathrobe are also packed by women. Hospitals provide those little hospital gowns to give birth in, but who wants to wear those during the whole stay? Most hospitals will allow women to change into their own gowns. Slippers are useful if you want to walk around during your early labor, and after you've given birth if you are allowed to walk around. And DON'T forget those socks! We all know how cold those hospital rooms can get! Brr!

One, if not THE most important thing women remember to bring, are things that calm and relax her. There is nothing like the anxiety of labor, and excitement of getting that baby out, not to mention the pain, to work up your nerves in the bed! Some choose to bring their own comfortable pillows, music, books, or anything else you find relaxing!

The other important thing you should go to the hospital armed with is a birth plan. Make sure your doctor and nurses are aware of your birth plan. Tell them if you want drugs or not, and be prepared with a plan if complications arise and you have to be sent to have a C-section!

~

Now, there are things that your partner/birthing coach should remember to bring to the hospital as well! They are just as important to a positive experience as all the reassuring items you could bring!

If you want the birth to be captured on video or camera, make sure the labor coach remembers to bring that, and make sure they are aware of what you would like included on the tape, such as speeches from loved ones to the coming baby, the doctors and nurses, machinery, before and after, etc.

They'll also need to bring toiletries, comfortable shoes, and changes of comfy clothes, since they'll be spending as much time in that hospital as you will! Pillows and Blankets for them are also good to bring, since those little side beds are really uncomfy!

Make sure they have cash and coins for parking and vending machines as well! You want to be prepared for a case of the munchies or days of parking if you have to stay in the hospital a while!

Another handy thing that's smart to bring is a bathing suit for them! If you want to take a shower during your labor, you might want them to get in with you and either support you or rub your back to alleviate some tension!

~

After you give birth, there are some things postpartum mothers enjoy having with them.

A fresh nightgown is always nice to put on after you've given birth for some nice rest!

Most people like to call all their friends and family after the birth, if they aren't present at the hospital, so be sure to have a list of people you want to call, along with a cellphone and charger so it doesn't go dead.

Snacks snacks snacks! After hours in labor and pushing that baby out, chances are, you are probably pretty hungry. And really, no one wants to rely on hospital food alone! Granola bars, fruit, or anything you think you'd enjoy should be brought. And, if you are in the mood for celebrating, you could always bring a bottle of nonalcoholic champagne!

Comfortable nursing bras or regular bras, depending on if you plan on breast feeding. Your breasts will be tender as the milk starts coming in, so the comfier the better!

Maternity underwear. The hospital can provide you with mesh ones, but if you prefer, you can bring your own. the hospital will give you lining pads, since you will bleed after giving birth. (Make sure you have a supply of these at home as well)

A book on newborn care. Some hospitals provide there own, and the nurses are always open to answering any questions you may have!

If you have other children, remember to bring photos of them from home so they know you haven't forgotten them now that the new addition is here! Also, gifts for the siblings of the newborn is welcome, such a "big brother" or "big sister" shirts!

A journal and writing utensil should be brought so you can start taking track of your new babies eating schedule, questions you may have, things you want to remember about the first day, or anything else!

A going home outfit for you should also be brought to the hospital. after all, you don't want to go home in the dirty clothing you came in in, or one of the nightgowns you brought!

~

Your baby is also going to need things when he or she is born and ready to go home!

A receiving blanket is always a nice thing to bring. The hospital will provide blankets for baby during your stay at the hospital.

A going home outfit for baby! Many moms choose some outfit they really like to come home and show off baby in, but make sure above all else that it is weather appropriate!

~

Things you shouldn't bring:

Jewelry
Medication
Valuables
Diapers
Breast pump

You may think bringing diapers and a pump would be necessary when having a baby, but everything you and your baby will need while your there will be supplied by the hospital!

When buying things for your baby-to-be, you need to take a couple things into consideration. What are things that will sooth a baby, or will give them a space which promotes good sleep? Are there things you want your baby to be introduced to right away? What is the ideal space for nursing? Are the necessities accessible? The list goes on and on about what to get when making a nursery, and getting things baby will need.

Things that you should get asap:

Crib with all the crib bedding
Changing table or pad
Diaper bin
Car seat
Diapers and wipes
Diaper rash cream
Diaper bag
Clothing
Bath and bath items
Breast feeding items
Bottle feeding items
Medicines
Misc. such as pacifiers



When picking a crib, you can go with the reliable cheap type if you are short on money, or can go with a really stylish reliable type to enhance the look of your nursery. Most parents are able to find a stylish type of crib that they like, and that is affordable from places such as Babies R Us, JCPenny, Target, etc. There are types of cribs that convert from crib to bed for toddlers as they go, which will save you money from having to buy a whole new bed as they age. They can come equipped with drawers or built in changing tables. Most cribs do not come with mattresses, so be sure to get a mattress that is comfortable but has good support for baby. Don't forget the crib linens, sheets, waterproof mattress pads, and light blankets. It's best to have two of each of those so they are interchangeable for easy to wash convenience!

Diapers are things that babies need more of than almost anything. You can choose either cloth diapers which are washable and reusable, and cut down on the waste in the trash, or you can choose the disposable diapers you see lining every baby isle in every store. Disposable diapers are higher in cost, but also higher in convenience. No washing or drying, just changing and disposing of. Huggies is a popular type, but has been rated high in cost, OK in durability, bad in sponge factor. However, the comfort level of Huggies is high, as is the safety, and you can get them with little Disney characters decorating the front. Pampers ratings are better than that of Huggies. While the cost is still high, the sponge factor is excellent, and the soft stick tabs don't have sharp edges like some, and go high up on the diaper, so is less likely to touch you child. Luvs however, pretty much wins in term of price to quality ratio. The price of Luvs are lower than the other two popular brand, but the sponge factor is still excellent, and the durability, comfort level, and safety all rank a good or better. Determine what brand of diaper works best for your baby.

Car seats are one of the most, if not the most important thing you will buy for your newborn. You aren't even allowed to leave the hospital unless your car is equipped with one. Choose one that your child wont be able to open by themselves, something that fits baby, and is safe and easy to use. Metal parts can become hot on the seat if they've been sitting in the sun, so make sure the metal bits can be touched when baby is latched into the seat to prevent burns. Are the straps comfortable? Comfort is something that must be taken into consideration as well as safety. If your baby is uncomfortable in the seat you have purchased, take it back and get a new one that is more comfortable. If you don't, you will have an uncomfortable, fussy baby on your hands!


If you are having others buy you baby items, make sure you tell them what types of each thing you would like to have for your baby and discuss the concerns about the items they have purchased if you are worried about the safety or comfort about any of them. Remember, you are your child's advocate. You as the parent have to make sure everything for baby is safe and comfortable to insure a healthy happy baby!