trying to get back into art because my life is shit and it makes me feel less shitty sometimes
i'd love to reconnect with people because i'm terribly alone every day all the time
but of course, as you all probably know, i can't carry on a conversation to save my life

so say hi to me and i might say hi back and i'll spend hours wishing i knew how to communicate with people!!!!

the real me died and my mates covered it up. im an impersonator

i dont like it
also lots of drugs are a nono on it and drugs = art so
for other reasons i'm stopping it after my scrip runs out tho

fetishize
transpeople

do
not
do
it

transpeople are real people with real struggles
not your imaginary fantasy fucktoy
it is an actual gender identity/medical condition

stop it
stop
seriously

furries with real big chins weird me out a little

people realize the paul in my icon is a skeleton and go WOAH THE PAUL IN YOUR ICON IS A SKELETON

this is not sarcasm i truly love it i get the strangest gratification

 deadstag's sweet dog Blue has been injured in an accident and Stag could really use help with the medical bills. I really dig this artist's work and if you look through their gallery I think you will find the prices are very reasonable, so please consider helping poor bebe Blue out if you can afford it!
Here's the journal in question with info and prices: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5152893/

ALSO meanwhile my boyfriend  beatles is having a rough go of making rent, if you could find your way to giving him a bit of cash as well, you will get more than your money's worth back in art.

less art, more pictures of me tripping balls and staring at birds

i need to clear out my watchlist again soon
i'm watching so many inactive ppl :(

drugs use me
have some tunes

this music goes best with:
ritz crackers smeared with peanut butter and sprinkled with sunflower seeds

hihihihihi who wants a quick shitty crayon doodle

my SDHC (or w/e) card doesnt work on my computer because it's too old to support those so i have to edit on my laptop but photoshop is too laggy on it but idk whether i should get GIMP or paint.net

do you ever listen to music and realize that it's older than you?
i mean, i know my music's fairly old, but i don't think about it too much.
but i'm listening to tales from topographic oceans, released 1973.
that's forty years!
forty years this music has existed, been listened to. how many times total has this album been played, i wonder?
how many times a day when it was still fresh and new? i wonder what the highest number of times it has been playing all at once... as in, the most individuals listening to it by themselves or with others, and when. how many other people are listening to it right now? i'm not the only one, certainly, even though this record is forty years old.

my parents listened to this music as kids.

man... the enormity is blowing my mind right now

i am alive.
i intend to try to start drawing more often again... but in the meantime i do more blogging than drawing. thought i'd share some blogs i run or help run on tumblr. if you know of any good blogs with similar premises i'd like to follow them. if i know you even in passing i'll behappy to follow your personal blog as well. reciprocation not necessary, i make a lot of obnoxious text posts.

cute animals, flowers/plants (just cute stuff in general): petalpaws.tumblr.com
nature/wildlife/landscapes/outdoors/etc: greasyhippie.tumblr.com
dogs: dogs-dogs-dogs.tumblr.com
classic rock/prog: 7-tease.tumblr.com

i don't feel like i'm very good at art and i don't particularly feel like trying to do it anymore

tell me some fucking channels to join

somehow it seems so strange to me that we construct these houses, these human habitats, these environments specifically developed to cater to the needs of human beings, and allow (or sometimes force... believe it or not, some dogs DO prefer living outdoors) pets like dogs to take up residence in them. it is not designed for them, it is somewhat exclusionary, they accept the manmade objects around them but have no understanding of their purpose, or our interactions with these devices, it is just the way things have always been to them (excluding cases of previously different living situations, of course).

they then have to follow our rules, which they generally adapt to eventually without any harm done, but which probably don't make any sense to them at all. why can't i pee anywhere i want? why can't i get on the sofa? why can't i scavenge food from the garbage cans and countertops? why must i have a bath? why is the mud wiped from my paws before i step foot on the carpet? it's no wonder so many dogs seem to behave in very "human" ways. beyond of course what comes instinctively, they don't have knowledge of the way of dogs, therefor instead of watching and learning from their canine parents, they watch and learn from us.

it's comparable to raising a tiger in an environment designed for a lion at a zoo, isn't it? it probably wouldn't cause the animal discomfort, and having known nothing else it likely wouldn't long for its natural ecosystem, much like the way liberated lab animals seem confused when first encountering a normal life outside a cage. it's just a rather bizarre concept.

i'm not suggesting that it's a bad thing- it's certainly not abuse, it's not remotely bad in any way, for the benefits often outweigh the drawbacks. it's just strange, the things that people do.

a shelter, from pigs on the wing

so i can follow ur punk ass

in addition to quitting dph i have become so poor that i may have to move into my sister's house and go to work with her because i can't get a job within walking distance (because i live in the middle of a bunch of cow and horse pastures) and our area is lacking in public transport

moving in with my sister means she can give me a ride to work with her and i have a pretty much assured job doing kennel work at the clinic she now works at

however i can't take bonnie because bonnie wants to kill her bully pup and bonnie has too many issues to rehome so i may be faced with the idea of killing my best friend in the world

but staying here without a job i can't afford to feed her

frankly an enormous part of me would rather die than have to kill my dog

and my cat doofus died recently and my cat apollo i've had for more than a decade is in the slow process of dying (only alive because i give him subq fluids every other day)

i can't handle any more fucking deaths

and i've quit recently and i am remiss to try to get any more until i feel like i can honestly trust myself to not become hopelessly addicted again

so

sorry if my art in the near future is hopelessly uninspired, uncreative, and bland

but at some point i have to start caring more about my health and future more than the shitty dog cartoons i churn out

because frankly my health has become shit, i feel like i'm rotting from the inside and i wouldn't be surprised at all if i've taken a decade or two off my lifespan with this garbage

i need 4-5 dollars so can a couple folks give me a buck or two for some art colored and shaded