For the first time in 7 years I am unable to celebrate  leonpuppy 's birthday with him. Even though we no longer are roommates he is still my best friend! Together we have been through so much, played Space Pirates, Real Pirates, Cat Pirates... we can tease each other like no one else only because of the bond we share. I can't wait until he is able to relocate to be close by again. Very few things are absolute, water is wet, the sky is blue, and maith is my best friend.

If you're going to FWA and would like a badge check out this journal...

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5507308/

"I think it’s great for two people to be together. That is a good number. I think, that to keep it alive though, you can’t spend every day together. It wears out the magic, Love means nothing to me if it’s not fortified with fierce, painful longing, brief explosive instances of furious passion and intimacy and then a sad parting for a time. In that way, you can give your life to it and still have a life of your own. I think some couples spend too much time together. They flatten out the potential for experience by constant closeness. Passion builds over time like steam. Let it rage until it’s exhausted and then leave it alone to let it build up again. Why can’t love be insane and distorted? How can it be vital if it has the same threshold as normal day-to-day experience?Why can’t you write burning letters and let your nocturnal self smolder with desire for one who is not there? Why not let the days before you see her be excruciating and ferment in your mind so on the day you go to the airport to pick her up, you’re nearly sick with anticipation? And then when desire shows the first sign of contentment, throw it back it its cage and let it slowly build itself back into a state of starved fury. Then when you are together, it all matters. So that when you look into her eyes, you lose your balance, so that when she touches you, it feels like you have never been touched before. When she says your name, you think it was she who named you. When she has gone, you bury your face in the pillow to smell her hair and you lie awake at night remembering your face in her neck, her breathing and the amazing smell of her skin. Your eyes go wet because you want her so bad and miss her so much. Now that is worth the miles and the time. That matches the inferno of life. Otherwise you poison each other with your presence day after day as you drag each other through the inevitable mundane aspects of your lives. That is the slow death that I see slapped on faces everywhere I go. It’s part of the world’s sadness that’s more empty than cold, poorly lit rooms in cities of the American night.” —  Henry Rollins

I seriously feel that Rollins just "gets it" with life... I would love to just have a dinner conversation one-on-one with him and rant...

"You are beautiful like demolition. Just the thought of you draws my knuckles white. I don’t need a god. I have you and your beautiful mouth, your hands holding onto me, the nails leaving unfelt wounds, your hot breath on my neck. The taste of your saliva. The darkness is ours. The nights belong to us. Everything we do is secret. Nothing we do will ever be understood; we will be feared and kept well away from. It will be the stuff of legend, endless discussion and limitless inspiration for the brave of heart. It’s you and me in this room, on this floor. Beyond life, beyond morality. We are gleaming animals painted in moonlit sweat glow. Our eyes turn to jewels and everything we do is an example of spontaneous perfection. I have been waiting all my life to be with you. My heart slams against my ribs when I think of the slaughtered nights I spent all over the world waiting to feel your touch. The time I annihilated while I waited like a man doing a life sentence. Now you’re here and everything we touch explodes, bursts into bloom or burns to ash. History atomizes and negates itself with our every shared breath. I need you like life needs life. I want you bad like a natural disaster. You are all I see. You are the only one I want to know.” 

― Henry Rollins

Tomorrow is  LeonPuppy's birthday.

In what has become a yearly tradition, I would like to wish a very happy birthday to my best friend and the most selfless person I have ever met.

So many of the things I say here have been said before in previous birthday messages, but they always bear repeating! There are few people in the world that are so kind, intelligent, caring, empathetic, and just plain beautiful. I have known David, aka Leon, aka Maith, a little over 6 years now, and he has grown up from a confused kid constantly looking to be accepted to a wonderful nurse that works harder than anyone I have ever met. He is someone I know I can always turn to when I need him and he will always be there for me. He is the Mike Wazowski to my James Sullivan, the Jessica Fletcher to my Sheriff Amos Tupper, the Larry Appleton to my Balki Bartokomous, and the Maith to my Puma.

This is my 6th birthday message I am writing to him, it started on Livejournal and has carried on here… If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t be where I am in life, he truly is an amazing and wonderful person. Happy birthday kiddo, here's hoping for many many more! I love you!

A non-furry friend of mine does some weird and hilarious shit... Very NSFW....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-Ua.....p;feature=plcp

Tomorrow is  Leonpuppy's birthday

David, is the bestest friend I could imagine having... For the past several years it has become a tradition between the two of us to list how we are like other famous buddy duos...

He is the competent alien creatures to my Commander Shepard, the Murtaugh to my Riggs, the Scully to my Mulder, the Lacey to my Cagney, the Billy Rosewood to my Axel Foley, he is the one brightly colored happy and nerdy girl in that one anime that was famous a few years ago to my semi-broody mysterious guy in that same anime...

Most of all, he is someone I can rely on and know will always be willing to put his worries aside to help others. David is the most selfless person I know and is someone everyone should take time to actually get to know.

I love you David!

In August of last year I was mulling over seeing if I could afford to quit my steady job and go back to school. With an amazing amount of support from my closest friends I decided to look into it. There were so many times I almost backed out and tried to convince myself there was no way I could go back after so long. As of yesterday I finished my first semester back with a 3.8 GPA... I will graduate in December and with the way that it is going, I will do so "With Honors".

Just want to thank everyone that has supported me through this once again new experience in my life. Without those that I am truly close to and love with all my heart, there is no way I would have been able to do any of this on my own...

In January I started back at school, needing only a year to finish my much pushed aside Bachelor's degree. I am 2 weeks away now from finishing my first semester back in school, in 6 years, with a 3.8 GPA...

Going back to class that first day I felt like I was Johnny Depp in the original 21 Jump Street, not sure how I would ever fit in with a bunch of 20-22-year-olds, but I have far exceeded even my goals. Going back really helped me get a plan of my future in order and I am so excited.

I have been fortunate to experience several life-times of living in my relatively short life. Everyone has been a learning tool and helped shape me as to who I am today. I feel when you stop trying to enjoy life you stop living. Yes, working and the occasional real world un-fun stuff needs to occur, but really, enjoy every moment you have, live it up and learn. Everyday should be a new adventure, take time out for yourself and loose yourself in the moment.

You have one life right now, make the most of it before it passes you by... I have no regrets in my life, and I am glad I am reaching my goals, and doing it my way.

So or the last several years I have done "Happy Birthday" posts on livejournal in regards to  Leonpuppy's birthday.

With the slow death of LJ I decided to move that here this year!

David, it the best friend and room mate anyone could ever hope for.
He is the Peter Klaven to my Sydney Fife... Including where I would put embarrassing billboards up around town to help him out and slap his bass during a Rush song..,
The Rigby to my Mordecai, where I know his jams and know that there is Summertime Loving, Loving in the Summer (Time).
The Dean Learner to my Garth Marenghi...
The only person I could never be mad with after making sit through a living nightmare of a night with a fat obnoxious "Costanza Coon" (enjoy getting raped by rabbits tubby!) :)

He is the greatest guy I know and someone whose work ethic and willingness to put everyone else first is very inspiring.

I love you David!

After having a very terrible week and a pretty good weekend being ended with major car troubles I felt defeated and unmotivated. Then I came across an old article written by Henry Rollins, those of you who are unfamiliar I highly suggest looking him up. Before I post the article in it's entirety I have to say that Henry Rollins' writing and spoken word stuff pretty much helped to shape who I am through my late teens and early adulthood. It takes a lot to make me inspired or even take notice, especially from a "celebrity sort" but something about this man's writing and philosophies has always hit home to me... After reading the below article I hit the gym harder than I have in a very long time... I hope you enjoy as much as I do, and hopefully it will inspire one of you as well...

"Iron and the Soul" - Henry Rollins

I believe that the definition of definition is reinvention. To not be like you parents. To not be like your friends. To be yourself. Completely.

When I was young I had no sense of myself. All I was, was a product of all the fear and humiliation I suffered. Fear of my parents. The humiliation of teachers calling me "garbage can" and telling me I'd be mowing lawns for a living. And the very real terror of my fellow students. I was threatened and beaten up for the color of my skin and my size. I was skinny and clumsy, and when others would tease me I didn't run home crying, wondering why. I knew all too well. I was there to be antagonized. In sports I was laughed at. A spaz. I was pretty good at boxing but only because the rage that filled my every waking moment made me wild and unpredictable. I fought with some strange fury. The other boys thought I was crazy.

I hated myself all the time. As stupid at it seems now, I wanted to talk like them, dress like them, carry myself with the ease of knowing that I wasn't going to get pounded in the hallway between classes.

Years passed and I learned to keep it all inside. I only talked to a few boys in my grade. Other losers. Some of them are to this day the greatest people I have ever known. Hang out with a guy who has had his head flushed down a toilet a few times, treat him with respect, and you'll find a faithful friend forever. But even with friends, school sucked. Teachers gave me hard time. I didn't think much of them either.

Then came Mr. Pepperman, my adviser. He was a powerfully built Vietnam veteran, and he was scary. No one ever talked out of turn in his class. Once one kid did and Mr. P. lifted him off the ground and pinned him to the blackboard.

Mr. P. could see that I was in bad shape, and one Friday in October he asked me if I had ever worked out with weights. I told him no. He told me that I was going to take some of the money that I had saved and buy a hundred-pound set of weights at Sears. As I left his office, I started to think of things I would say to him on Monday when he asked about the weights that I was not going to buy. Still, it made me feel special. My father never really got that close to caring. On Saturday I bought the weights, but I couldn't even drag them to my mom's car. An attendant laughed at me as he put them on a dolly.

Monday came and I was called into Mr. P.'s office after school. He said that he was going to show me how to work out. He was going to put me on a program and start hitting me in the solar plexus in the hallway when I wasn't looking. When I could take the punch we would know that we were getting somewhere. At no time was I to look at myself in the mirror or tell anyone at school what I was doing.

In the gym he showed me ten basic exercises. I paid more attention than I ever did in any of my classes. I didn't want to blow it. I went home that night and started right in. Weeks passed, and every once in a while Mr. P. would give me a shot and drop me in the hallway, sending my books flying. The other students didn't know what to think. More weeks passed, and I was steadily adding new weights to the bar. I could sense the power inside my body growing. I could feel it.

Right before Christmas break I was walking to class, and from out of nowhere Mr. Pepperman appeared and gave me a shot in the chest. I laughed and kept going. He said I could look at myself now. I got home and ran to the bathroom and pulled off my shirt. I saw a body, not just the shell that housed my stomach and my heart. My biceps bulged. My chest had definition. I felt strong. It was the first time I can remember having a sense of myself. I had done something and no one could ever take it away. You couldn't say shit to me.

It took me years to fully appreciate the value of the lessons I have learned from the Iron. I used to think that it was my adversary, that I was trying to lift that which does not want to be lifted. I was wrong. When the Iron doesn't want to come off the mat, it's the kindest thing it can do for you. If it flew up and went through the ceiling, it wouldn't teach you anything. That's the way the Iron talks to you. It tells you that the material you work with is that which you will come to resemble. That which you work against will always work against you.

It wasn't until my late twenties that I learned that by working out I had given myself a great gift. I learned that nothing good comes without work and a certain amount of pain. When I finish a set that leaves me shaking, I know more about myself. When something gets bad, I know it can't be as bad as that workout.

I used to fight the pain, but recently this became clear to me: pain is not my enemy; it is my call to greatness. But when dealing with the Iron, one must be careful to interpret the pain correctly. Most injuries involving the Iron come from ego. I once spent a few weeks lifting weight that my body wasn't ready for and spent a few months not picking up anything heavier than a fork. Try to lift what you're not prepared to and the Iron will teach you a little lesson in restraint and self-control.

I have never met a truly strong person who didn't have self-respect. I think a lot of inwardly and outwardly directed contempt passes itself off as self-respect: the idea of raising yourself by stepping on someone's shoulders instead of doing it yourself. When I see guys working out for cosmetic reasons, I see vanity exposing them in the worst way, as cartoon characters, billboards for imbalance and insecurity. Strength reveals itself through character. It is the difference between bouncers who get off strong-arming people and Mr. Pepperman.

Muscle mass does not always equal strength. Strength is kindness and sensitivity. Strength is understanding that your power is both physical and emotional. That it comes from the body and the mind. And the heart.

Yukio Mishima said that he could not entertain the idea of romance if he was not strong. Romance is such a strong and overwhelming passion, a weakened body cannot sustain it for long. I have some of my most romantic thoughts when I am with the Iron. Once I was in love with a woman. I thought about her the most when the pain from a workout was racing through my body. Everything in me wanted her. So much so that sex was only a fraction of my total desire. It was the single most intense love I have ever felt, but she lived far away and I didn't see her very often. Working out was a healthy way of dealing with the loneliness. To this day, when I work out I usually listen to ballads.

I prefer to work out alone. It enables me to concentrate on the lessons that the Iron has for me. Learning about what you're made of is always time well spent, and I have found no better teacher. The Iron had taught me how to live.

Life is capable of driving you out of your mind. The way it all comes down these days, it's some kind of miracle if you're not insane. People have become separated from their bodies. They are no longer whole. I see them move from their offices to their cars and on to their suburban homes. They stress out constantly, they lose sleep, they eat badly. And they behave badly. Their egos run wild; they become motivated by that which will eventually give them a massive stroke. They need the Iron mind.

Through the years, I have combined meditation, action, and the Iron into a single strength. I believe that when the body is strong, the mind thinks strong thoughts. Time spent away from the Iron makes my mind degenerate. I wallow in a thick depression. My body shuts down my mind. The Iron is the best antidepressant I have ever found. There is no better way to fight weakness than with strength. Once the mind and body have been awakened to their true potential, it's impossible to turn back.

The Iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you're a god or a total bastard. The Iron will always kick you the real deal. The Iron is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds.

Please help me out. I am up for a "Sexiest Wrestler in the Midwest". Please go to the following link and vote for Bailey Mannix. If you reeeeeaaaaaallly love me, you will put links in your journals as well...

http://missouriwrestlingrevival.wor.....n-the-midwest/

If I win I get a nifty award, vote early and often!

It was a little while in the making but after a little wait  fuzzytuff and I are officially together. While there is a bit of distance currently we are going to work through it. I do love him and I am very happy.

Just got back last night from a few day stay in Sacramento, Ca, visiting my good friend  FuzzyTuff... A lot of Rock Band was played, alcohol was consumed, and Chinese Buffets were... uh... buffeted?!? Ok bro, that place was "The Best Chinese Buffet ever!"

Could not have asked for a better host or a cooler person to spend some time with.

It was also the first time I spent more than a few hours in Cali in 13 years... it's a weird reminder of the life I nearly lead, and a land that will always hold a place in my heart.

34th time having my nose broke... Nice little cut over it... Fuck I love wrestling.