I normally don't do vent journals too often. But I need this off my chest before the stress kills me with a heart attack.

Should I retcon all my racially white characters? Either delete them all or just recolor so they aren't offensive. Hell what is offensive in my gallery, I'll get rid of it. I keep seeing so much hate in the news from all sides. It's a world where extremists will destroy lives for having the wrong opinion. Hell even if you got the right opinion you're damned if you have white skin or identify as a man. Something I'm not sure I identify as anymore...I don't feel like anything...I feel empty. Am I even still me if I agree with a popular idea out of fear? Am I evil just because my skin is white irl? I know I joked about the swastika and wanted to make it a symbol of peace again...but am I a Nazis for that? Should I just hang myself because my existence is viewed as evil based on what's on the surface?

Yes being a part of a dev team for a starbound mod is what kept me busy and life chores pile up. But the biggest reason I'm quiet now is because of this political climate we're in. People just splitting from others because of political opinions clashing. YouTubers being arrested for stupid jokes that offended someone. And now this internet wide Furry BlockList others can use to mass block people deemed as "alternate furry" or whatever that term is...I don't know what to do. I hate offending people by accident, let alone on purpose. I'm not strong as my YouTube friend is. I'm not that brave. I hate being a cause of pain. But I'm white, cis, and a coward. The "with us or against us" attitude has me torn...I was never good at picking sides and usually keep out of things like that. But I'm afraid I will be made to choose or have my lively hood destroyed because I wouldn't choose a side...it's a damned if you do, damned if you don't scenario that I really don't like.

I am losing sleep from this...I just want to turn the clock back to highschool and stop myself from ever joining the world wide web. I feel it's better if I never existed on the internet. And I hate that...I love the friends I made and hurt when I lost friends. But now it seems I'll lose more friends by having an opinion...I just want it all to stop.

I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know who to trust as a friend now. I'm lost. What should I do? What do I have to do to not be evil in anyone's eyes? Should I just hide until this climate blows over? Should I just delete every piece of evidence of me having existed on this site? Should I censor myself or risk being jailed for an opinion? What should I do? I don't know anymore...it's bringing me to tears that this is happening at all. What can I do???

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8509242/ petition links from original journal. Let's teach them a lesson and hopefully they'll learn this time.

Now presenting the Discord Server HOUSE OF FAT SALAD. For those who want to chat there. https://discord.gg/tGtNN8j

I am sick and on new meds. My body does not like these new meds and as a result I pass out for hours. My schedule will be backed up like crazy so here's the news.

TRADES
I won't be able to do any until I get more projects done so Trades are Closes until further notice. I want to do them but I just can't get any started without something else coming up. Sorry to those interested in a trade with me but I'm backed up in art (and sinuses as I wrote this and fighting to stay awake)

ART
More will come... eventually. I did get a commission back and was OKed to post it on my profile by the artist so that will be up soon is. (Probably when I wake up next time). And I haven't forgotten the Lugia Day sequel pic so I'll get that done first when I can stay awake for more than 4 minutes and when my sinus headaches stop driving nails into my skull.

HALLOWEEN SPECIAL
I am very upset that I couldn't get that started. I really wanted to enter the GemExchange Halloween event with an entry featuring my new Star shooter's background being twisted into a horror story told by people who heard it from a guy who heard it from another gut and so on and so forth heard it from someone who "seen" the thing. I can't think straight story wise now and I'll miss that and that irks me. None of the stuff I had planned was finished and I'll be late, yet again, for any holiday special.

I've mainly been active in comments when I first wake up for a few minutes/an hour or so if I'm lucky before my meds knock me back out. Hopefully when my body adjusts to the meds I'll be back to drawing soonish.

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8258893/ they need funds D: read their journal for full details

Wish List and what I'll do in return:
-Male Shooter, no females, purple hues welcomed, traits mostly common.
-Male Robber, belly maw preference but otherwise traits don't matter much.
-Female Eater, common traits preferred, no scars.
-Male Sweeper, not picky
-female dasher, not picky
-male eater, fluff monster build preferred

I can pay for one if you have a Bluebird Account, transfer what money I get from odd jobs, won't be a lot but I am willing to add art trades to sweeten the trade/buy. Will draw art in trade equal to the sds value. May trade old characters I haven't drawn in a while, check gallery for them including DeviantArt gallery. Or if a MYO Shooter slot is available and you're stumped but don't want it to go to waste. Willing to draw art of your characters for it.

Since I don't own any designs of my own to show how I color them, the only examples of my skill is a scrap page with different lineworks and colored characters and line bases for SD owners.

General Skill example: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/23082425/

Stardragon art Examples (mostly lineart):
Shooters: male http://www.furaffinity.net/view/23020343/ chibis http://www.furaffinity.net/view/23081472/
Eaters: female http://www.furaffinity.net/view/23080521/
Robbers: male http://www.furaffinity.net/view/23105131/
Crafters: chibis http://www.furaffinity.net/view/23092508/
Fishers: none yet
Sweepers: none yet
Dashers: none yet
Weavers: none yet

Colored Stardragon Art: none as of yet

Colored and Shaded Stardragon Art: none as of yet

Congratulations to  K-n3kO in the raffle.
You didn't post a ref so please post it in this journal's comments so I can get to work on the pic.

I have to stop the auction... I'm too afraid that any income into my bank account would cause Social Security to cut my income from them...the money from them pays my bills, my food, fuel, vehicle costs. I don't have that much when vet bills comes into the equation too. I know too well that commissions are never a sound income. I can't rely on it like I do on SS. I can't. I'll just turn the auction into a free raffle...I'll remove the info in the description of the submission to let everyone know. Bidders get a spot in the raffle and don't have to pay anything...good luck in the raffle.

If you are reading this for possible free art then sorry to say that I am not doing that. Please continue reading, this is something I have to say in order to get it off my chest. This journal acts as an announcement and a vent journal.

Announcement/Vent:
I will delete the submission of the ych. Not a single bid for it and only faves. The YCH submissions will be deleted when the auctions are over. No bids made and the dead line was an hour ago. I will resubmit the auction image in case everyone missed it or nuked submissions without checking for it. My auctions will have dead lines. Until I finish my price list, I will only be doing auctions. These auctions will help me gauge the prices for my work, so I appreciate some participation in them if you have the cash. Seeing the lack of such after posting it last night really hit me hard, kinda made me feel like my pieces aren't worth anything even after the promise of a fully colored pic with cell shade. I would have opened a poll instead but I was afraid it would be ignored outright. I'm upset that I had to use click bait just to get someone to read this. I apologize to those who legit wanted freebies.

Vent:
If its bais against the software I use to make art, I'm sorry to say that I don't care. I use MS Paint, that is all I need. I can't pay for any of the "better" ones, why do you think I opened a PayPal account for? So I can earn cash to buy stuff on my own wish list as well as put some cash aside in case of emergencies like when my bank account was jacked. If you still have the urge to recommend art software, free or not, keep it to yourself. I already know of every piece of software on the internet just for saying "I use MS Paint", hearing recommendations and "use this its far better to use" has gotten too old for me that It is actually starting to piss me off. Please respect that I am tired of hearing that shit over and over and over and over again. DON'T. just keep your recommendations to yourself. I heard about it already, I use MS Paint, I don't need nor want your recommendations, just accept that someone still uses something as shitty as MS Paint. No law on earth says I have to use a brand name high end paint software.
If its about the deadline, I will always put a dead line on them. I can't hold them open forever like requests or commissions. All auctions have a deadline, got cash and want it, place a bid. If not, don't fave the image because it'll be removed after the auction. Don't got money but know someone that does and would be interested in bidding for my art, don't have to but mentioning the auction is appreciated. I won't turn down an individual signal boost. Or just drop a comment in the comment portion of the auction submission, just don't go crazy with RP comments when auctions are going.

Appreciation:
To those who faved the image, I appreciate the faves but know that I will delete those submissions after they become closed and the finished results become posted.

Summary:
If I get no bids after the resubmission and extended deadline then I will permanently remove the image and delete the file for good. I only have PayPal as a method to do online transactions and I nearly had a breakdown trying to get it running due to my fears about the rumors about the site. If I hear any recommendations to art programs, I will remove them from the comments, I heard enough about the programs out there. The click bait title for this announcement/vent journal was to get people to actually read it, you know who you are if you clicked it out of compulsion for free art. Who doesn't like freebies? I apologize for deceiving everyone in that regard, this is something I had to get off my chest considering that I almost broke down in tears with the lack of participation in the auction after the deadline came up.

If you read this far into the journal, I'm sorry and I thank you for listening to me. This is all I wanted off my chest...

I have an idea on how to price my stuff though...just gotta get to work on them... ._.

PayPal.Me link: paypal.me/PD1992
Commission Prices to come.

Right I basically camped out in my truck until the bank opened up...anyways just getting back home. They told me I was covered for fraud protection as the transaction that stole my cash was done online. So I can get the money back. Still angry that a lowlife stole from me. I am glad I won't have to starve this month. Crisis Averted thankfully x_x

A month back, someone filed under my name for a driver's license and filed on as me under my bio-mother's insurance. Now, a month later, I couldn't get but 14 bucks for groceries. Automated number call later and I find out that $349 disappeared out of my bank account today...That was supposed to last me this month. Going to the bank when it opens and see if there is anything we can do to fix this. Whoever took the money, if you are reading this, you ruined my mood for the raffle today and I'm likely to go hungry this month because of you. Hope you are proud of yourself...

1.) Real Name: Bradley
2.) Nicknames: Brad, B-Rad, Bob
3.) Zodiac Sign: Leo
4.) Male or Female: Male
5.) Elementary School: been to so many I forgot :u
6.) Middle School: Timpson ISD
7.) High school: Timpson High ISD
8.) Hair color: I think its a dirty auburn. eh its one of the brown hues :)
9.) Long or Short: short-medium as long as my bangs don't get in my eyes.
10.) Loud or Quiet: eeeeh, depends on my mood
11.) Sweats or Jeans: screw pants, I wear shorts :y
12.) Phone or Camera: Phone
13.) Health Freak: What is this "Health" you speak of?
14.) Drink or Smoke: I don't drink or smoke :3
15.) Do You Have A Crush On Someone: Yes, but I'll never tell you who >:D
16.) Sexual Preference: Bisexual
17.) Piercings: NOPE.
18.) Tattoos: I want one.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN:
19.) Airplane: Nope
20.) Car Accident: several close calls but nope.
21.) Fist Fight: coughcoughmiddleschoolcough

FIRSTS:
22.) First Piercing: didn't get any
23.) First Best Friend: my math teacher in grade school :D
24.) First Instrument played: I...uuuuuh...officially: tuba...I failed hard ;w;
25.) First Award: Spelling Bee, early gradeschool
26.) First Crush: ...fine I'll tell you my first. It was a girl in kindergarten named Dimi.
27.) First Language: English
28.) First Big Vacation: CAMPING 8D

LASTS:
29.) Last Person you talked to: My half-brother :D
30.) Last Person You Texted: My half-brother...again :D
31.) Last Person You Watched: Ozarbios I think.
32.) Last Food You Ate: Ramen with hot sauce :9
33.) Last Movie You Watched: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
34.) Last Song You Listened To: Double Rainbow (guitar cover) on Soundcloud
35.) Last Thing You Bought: Dishonored 2 for the PS4.
36.) Last Person You Hugged: I do not remember .w.

FAVORITES:
37.) Food: PIZZA
38.) Drink: DR PEPPER.
39.) Clothing: Shorts.
40.) Book: Does manga count? No? ok I don't have a fave book.
41.) Color: Purple
42.) Flower: Exotically Colored Roses
44.) Movie: Does anime count? no? ok Lego Movie *cues Everything is Awesome theme*
45.) Tv show: Steven Universe...I hear you judging on the other side of the screen >.>
46.) Subject: Time and Space.

IN THE PAST YEAR I...
47.) [ ] Acted crazy in school
48.) [ ] Celebrated New Years
49.) [ ] I got majorly bullied
50.) [ ] I broke an arm/leg
51.) [ ] My dog(s) / My cat(s) / Other pet(s) died
52.) [ ] Got a crossbow for hunting
53.) [ ] Cried myself to sleep
54.) [ ] Saw the police
55.) [X] Done something you've Regretted (Everyday)
56.) [ ] Broke a Promise
57.) [X] Kept a Secret (I'LL NEVER TELL!)
58.) [ ] Pretended To Be Happy
59.) [ ] Met Someone Who Changed Your Life
60.) [ ] Puked first day of school
61.) [X] Stayed locked in your room (would have been in Favorite Passtimes :))
62.) [ ] Tried something you normally wouldn't like, and liked it.
63.) [ ] Cried Over The Silliest Things
64.) [ ] Ran the mile
65.) [X] Died inside (everyday whenever I laugh at something horrible...but was funny as hell)
66.) [ ] Fainted

RIGHT NOW:
67.) Eating: Chester's Hot Fries
68.) Drinking: Water
69.) Getting Ready To: Nothing, I finished a lot of stuff today and just relaxing :)
70.) Listening/watching: Polyanna on Soundcloud.
71.) Plans For Tomorrow/Today: fidget while I wait for a certain raffle, and ramen
72.) Waiting For: DTA Raffle (I am super excited)

YOUR FUTURE:
73.) Want Kids: yes.
74.) Want To Get Married: some day.
75.) Careers in mind: I dunno :v

WHICH IS BETTER ON A GUY/GIRL?:
76.) Lips or Eyes: Eyes
77.) Shorter or Taller: I go either way :u
78.) Romantic or Spontaneous: hmmm
79.) Nice Stomach or Nice Arms: Nice THICC Stomach :}
80.) Sensitive or Loud: uuuuh
81.) Hook-up Or Relationship: I do not know had a bit of both and kinda mixed...
82.) Troublemaker or Hesitant: CORRUPT THE HESITANT 8D HAHAHAHA.

HAVE YOU EVER:
83.) Lost Glasses/Contacts: nope
84.) Ran Away From Home: nope
85.) Held A Weapon, For Self Defense: *cocks .22 revolver* uh yeah, I live in Texas :V what do you think?
86.) Killed Somebody: what? I haven't killed any REAL people :U just several thousand nameless NPCs in video games.
87.) Broken Someone's Heart: Yes and I still regret it.
88.) Been Arrested: Nope, though my roommate in college almost did!

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
90.) Yourself: what? f*** no. I'm my own biggest rival >:I
91.) Miracles: yes, they are everywhere :D
92.) Love at First Sight: not really.
93.) Heaven: I believe all afterlives exist, not just Heaven.
94.) Santa Claus: Yes, his spirit is in us all :D.
96.) Magic: I believe in the paranormal...so of course I believe magic exists and that it comes in a wide variety.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
97.) Someone you wanna be with right now?: Not me.
98.) Are You Seriously Happy With Where You Are, In Life: Comfortable, not HAPPY...but also not miserable.
100.) Post as 100 Truths and Tag five people: Any 5 people after the first commenter of this journal >8D.

That seems to be all the rage these days :U












what did you think I was going to move accounts? nope, I'm not doing that XD I'm too attached to this one!

Yeah I didn't take into account that I've not mastered the fat on fat anatomy quite yet. So it may be a bit while I play around with the styles and positions until I get it to the way that fits best. So it'll be a bit delayed. After that one is another request before I officially close up shop on open requests while I finish up my project pics. (Like more of the Half-Aragami Brad and other goodies).

So in short, After these two request pics I'm closing up requests until I get things together and my side projects done.

WHAT IS TO COME IN VAGUE SENTENCES:
-two moths having fun.
-two windragons being big.

after those I'm back on projects. NO REQUESTS, no ASKING if I'm taking them, no WHY NOTs because I'm telling you this now :U






nah I'm kidding X'D I'm not that sour about the last part. but no asking about requests. I open them when I feel like it. I may be open to suggestions in the future but no requests.
And seeing how faves went crazy from the last pic, I gotta thank you all for loving the pic so much. And for Omega for being suuuuuuuuuper patient about it, considering that I had a really terrible start to my new year =3= Hospital visit, missing new year party, contesting as a witness in court for my cousin. Yeah karma paid me back in full, hopefully all this mishap will mark the start of something awesome for the year to come. Like more anatomy practice so I STOP SCREWING UP THE HANDS IN MY PICS.

Anyways, I am recently stalking Myth-Weaver forums for some D&D related stuff. I had fun with a Lords of Creation bit (praise Phecda) and having fun in frozen Faerun in The Cold Lands (Aelous gonna burn some bandits yeeeeee). Got a thread over there? WHY NOT INVITE A NOOB LIKE ME HAHAHAHA 8D in all seriousness, mostly invite me so I can read how its done. Juuuuuust look for my username there. If the iicon has a surprised bald man in a familiar style and the title has "Novice Madman" You have found the right guy ;D

And with that dear watchers, is pretty much all I have to update on... Now that I whet that appetite, feel free to drop a comment or two :U or drop a hello to me on Telegram. Look for the hungry leafeon trainer and feed him a pokepuff or twelve ;D

LATER!! 8D

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7966420/ he needs more FA peeps in his list and I'm swamped in my own holidays D: help spread Christmas cheer

And holy heck it is bright XD I could easily see our neighbor's pasture in this moonlight. I am really glad I got to see it. Soft light was so calming too. If its night out for ya, check it out and see what I meant. I could even make out the seas on its surface. Get those flashlights and see what I mean :D And let the worries of the world melt away in the bright, yet soft, moonlight. At least in this moment, as this will not happen again until 60 years.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/21426117/

raffle by

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7832154/

The adopt-a-flaw has reached hump day. Follow the links for more info on how to adopt one before I pull them out!

http://www.furaffinity.net/full/21248493/

Also if you aren't planning to adopt, feel free to give a signal boost of this journal and adopt set. I'd like to have as many people know about this as possible.

Post Questions on the Flaw species http://www.furaffinity.net/full/21240748/ in the comments below.
And show me your designs, I'd love to see them :3
Many answers may appear in future pics.
And any updates to the species will be posted in this journal down there (so check back often if you like)
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FLAW UPDATES

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-no new updates yet

My scraps not only contain some wip works, but also concepts that I am playing with, practice art, and more. Some sensual stuff and more darker subjects I thought inappropriate for my main gallery and folders. Swing on by to check out the works in progress and gallery rejects at my scraps gallery http://www.furaffinity.net/scraps/pd1992/

WARNING: WILL CONTAIN UNFINISHED WORKS, GORE, DEATH, IMPLIED SEX, D***S, AND OTHER STUFF NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART!

I will postpone them temporarily after the two current requests are finished. So no more notes until I announce otherwise.
Current requests in queue:
Fuzzy+Mothess (on hold)
CynGage+Tag (starting soon)

I will post journals when they are open. These are temporary due to chores, workout times, and general life happens leaving little or no time to work.

They will also be like YCH requests but FREE.

Please be patient until they open again.

And I'll nom if I want to nooom if I want to
You would nom too if it happened to yooooouu